Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – how deep does your belly button go?

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – how deep does your belly button go? · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Uh-oh here we go here we go here is another
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: senseless survey from darren whackhead simpson on kfm mornings kfm
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: mornings okay since the survey time gather around you want
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: to win some eyelashes or uh yeah literally eyelashes two
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: thousand rands worth of eyelashes yeah that's still cheap is
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: that cheap.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Do you see now guys are trimming their eyelashes?
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: What?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Not eyebrows, eyelashes. I've seen this because they don't want
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: to look femme. Yeah, exactly.
• 0:37
  Speaker 4: Meanwhile, the envy we have for your long eyelashes, you
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: don't deserve it. You don't deserve it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: Aren't eyelashes a bit sensitive to be cut in? They
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: definitely serve a purpose. They're there to protect you. Yeah.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: But talk about fragile male masculinity. Enjoy your blessings.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: Don't annoy me.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: Brad, you've got such beautiful eyelashes.
• 1:02
  Speaker 4: I was just about to say so to you.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you, Brad.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: I'm going to keep them.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Ramiz, you too, actually.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: Thank you.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: You and me have beautiful eyelashes.
• 1:14
  Speaker 5: Love it for the kings. But this prize is not
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: just a lash extension. It's brow lamination and the first
• 1:23
  Speaker 5: two weeks are full.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: So that's why it's worth $ 2, 000. Is brow lamination, is
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: that tinting? It's like a, what do you call it?
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: They laminate your eyebrows. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: They look defined and gorgeous. So like with that plastic? Epoxy.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Like they do the school books. Okay.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Let's go with that. It looks good, Darren.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: Let's take no more guesses on the WhatsApp telephone. How
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: many questions, Sherlyn, will you ask?
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Twelve.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Twelve.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, Sibs. Nine questions, Darren.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: Nine.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, Ramiz Khan.
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Twelve. No, ten questions.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Ten questions, Producer Brad.
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I'll say seven.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Seven. Not one of you is correct.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: No lashes for us.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Nothing. I needed that lashes.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Not for you, my friend. So, here is your census survey.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: Ask ridiculous questions, looking for answers in vain. And we
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: see how long it takes before you put the phone down.
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: Thank you for calling tonight. My name is Bob Bowen.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: Good morning, ma'am.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: I'm Agent 319265. I need to ask you a few
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: questions for your country. It's just regarding the census survey
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: that you forgot to fill out last week.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: Okay, go.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: When milking a cow in Russia, does soft serve ice
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: cream come out? I don't know. I've never been in Russia.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: Did you know that DNA stands for National Dyslexics Association?
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: No, I didn't.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: How deep does your belly button go? Using an index finger,
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: does it go to the first, second or third knuckle?
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: I haven't tried that either.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: Just tried?
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: No.
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: I'm at work at the moment.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: They're just in front of me. We're waiting to check
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: out now. I thought this was an agent call.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: Can you just measure your belly button and how many
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: knuckles deep it is?
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: One, two or three? Do it under the counter. Two knuckles.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: That's a deep belly button.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Do animals always know when a storm is coming because
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: they can stay at home and watch the.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: News all day?
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: No, they don't know that.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Why do people always make such a fuss over how
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: much a newborn weighs?
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's a baby. It's not a stash of marijuana.
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: I don't know because I'm not a mother yet.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Do you think when an octopus learns how to roundhouse kick,
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: humans will pretty much be done?
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Do you think they should have chess matches on the
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: infield of Formula One tracks so that you can watch
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: two boring things at once?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: No, you didn't.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Would you rather be constantly itchy or constantly sticky? I'm sorry, sir.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I have to hang up.
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: Someone's coming in.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: He's checking out.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: I'm at a hotel. Okay, thank you so much. I
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: had so many more.
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: You didn't do that.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: So many more.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: We used to play that game in school. Would you rather?
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: Yeah, would you rather have like toes for thumbs or
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: thumbs for toes?
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: I would, you know. We all said sticky there at
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: the end.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Itchy.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: Itchy.
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: You'd rather want to be itchy.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: That makes no sense. Sticky. I would hate to be
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: itchy all day.
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: Sticky. Everything sticks to you.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: It's fine.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: I'd rather be sticky.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: You're going to have dog hair on you.
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: It's fine.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: I'm not itchy.
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: And it's not just the stickiness. It's the sound of
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: the stickiness.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: Guys, itchy. Being itchy. You're all deflecting from the main
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: question here. What's the main question? How many knuckles is
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: your belly button?
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: And you know there are people sitting in traffic doing
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: it now.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: Measure, please. Do you want a belly button shave? Is
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: that why you're asking this question? Don't do it.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: I got one.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: Oh, no.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: I'm almost two. Two knuckles. No way. Is that good
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: or bad? No, I'm a dick. It's my middle-aged beer book.
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: And I don't drink beer, so I don't know. This
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: is a mystery to science how I got it.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: But some people don't even have depth. You got an outie.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: But you are beautiful. We are all beautiful. Thank you, Simpsons.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: No one else measuring. No one else measuring.
• 6:04
  Speaker 4: I was one knuckle. I have a bigger stomach than you.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: It's yours one knuckle?
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Roof.
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: No.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: Roof.
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: No.
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: This is an office.
• 6:14
  Speaker 4: This is a professional space. We are working, sir.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: But you're sitting behind a desk. You can measure under
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: the desk.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: No one will even know. It's my life from Bon Jovi.
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: What a legend on KFM Mornings.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: All right. The census survey. Let's see. We have a winner.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: It was only eight questions. Not many people go below
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: ten in their guesses. But you did, Michael from Belleville.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Good morning. Morning, Tim.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Hi, guys.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Hello.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: How are you, brother? Hi, Michael.
• 6:43
  Speaker 5: All good.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: All good.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Thank you. So you got the right answer, Mike. Now
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: we're going to spin the wheel for you. You can
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: determine two factors, the speed and the direction. So do
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: you want fast or slow, left or right?
• 6:59
  Speaker 4: Fast, left, please.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Fast and left. All right. Let's give it a whip
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: around there in our other studio. There we go. There
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: we go. Now, producer John is in the studio with
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: the wheel. John, what number did it land on?
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: It's a womanizer, Darren.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: It's a good day. Mike, it's Heritage Weekend, my friend.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Do you know what we're talking about with the womanizer thing?
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Liberty 2 from Olivia Grey worth 3,000 Rand. Yeah, I'll
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: take it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't mind. I'll give it to somebody
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: who needs it.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's going to be a difficult birthday present to
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: go and give it to someone.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: If it's the right person, it could be the perfect gift.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I don't think you can give this to somebody as
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: a birthday present.
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: I've gifted a friend of mine one of these toys, and.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: They were very, very happy. Very, very happy. I don't
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: think it was the Womanizer Liberty 2, but it was
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: also one from Olivia Gray, and the friend was very happy. So, Mark,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: who do you think you would give this to?
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, to be honest, maybe not. Maybe not.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: I think somebody else will probably need it more than
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: where I can send it to. So, yeah, maybe not.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: Would you perhaps like it to be switched to something
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: that you might pick off of the shelf?
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, if that's a possibility, it would be better.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, so I'll tell you what, Mark. Discretion. We're going
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: to give you a voucher. Will you take this conversation offline? Yes, yes, yes. Discretion.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: We'll let you do it in the privacy of your
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: own time. Mike, so you will get a 3,000-rand voucher
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: to Olivia Gray, brother.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Enjoy.
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: Okay, thanks.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: Happy shopping. Thank you.
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: You didn't want to.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't come on the radio today to get embarrassed.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying?
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: But.
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: We got you. All right.
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to be like, how do you say?
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: You don't want to kick a gift horse in the mouth.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 9:40
  Speaker 5: I hear you.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: All right. Good man, Mike. Ciao, brother. Take care.
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: Bye-bye.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Cheers.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: Bye-bye.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: All right, so there we go. Hey, thank you very
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: much to Olivia Gray. Always there with a prize on
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: our wheel.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: KFM Mornings with Darren, Sherlyn, Sibs and you.