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SEASON2 EPISODE_123_ DA CREW PODCAST_ HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND · DA CREW Podcast

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Hey, Hey, and welcome to another episode of the Through Podcast.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I am your visionary Queen Angela.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: And if you are a Diva that's looking to amplify
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: your voice and you're.
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: Looking for our whole, we have faith for you.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Come on over and join GM Diva Up yeahey, and
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: amplify your voice.
• 0:34
  Speaker 5: All Things.
• 0:43
  Speaker 6: At Wings of Transformation Publishing, we are committed to helping
• 0:46
  Speaker 6: our authors reach their goals and pursue their dreams of
• 0:49
  Speaker 6: becoming published authors.
• 0:51
  Speaker 5: We work closely with.
• 0:52
  Speaker 6: Each author to ensure a successful publishing experience, and we
• 0:57
  Speaker 6: are dedicated to helping them tell their stories and the
• 1:00
  Speaker 6: most meaningful and impactful ways. We look forward to putting
• 1:04
  Speaker 6: you on the path to writing your book.
• 1:13
  Speaker 5: All Things Ain't What Thing? Where Has It? All? The
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: Blue Scott.
• 1:41
  Speaker 7: Basic Black after Dark, the all new podcast show with
• 1:46
  Speaker 7: your host Black Diamond.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: H Tune in the All Do Live Again Contact Because
• 2:39
  Speaker 5: I'm Back, Tune in All Tune in, Tune in to
• 2:46
  Speaker 5: the All Do Live Again Concast show.
• 2:49
  Speaker 7: Tune in the All Do Live Again Concast show with
• 2:52
  Speaker 7: your host Amma Thomas for God's So Loved the Way.
• 2:55
  Speaker 8: Because I'm Back.
• 2:58
  Speaker 9: Welcome to the sci Book Joll frink Chat.
• 3:01
  Speaker 10: We're gonna be talking about the latest and book reviews.
• 3:04
  Speaker 8: At the interviews.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: I'me on and enjoy us. We're ready. Are you in
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: the club?
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: They're getting wild from me and all the pretty chicks.
• 3:18
  Speaker 8: Y'all want to smile?
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Let me speak.
• 3:26
  Speaker 11: After the Dark Podcast. This is the show that meets
• 3:29
  Speaker 11: you where you are and gives you what you ask for.
• 3:33
  Speaker 11: And there are sometimes where we discuss sensitive topics that
• 3:36
  Speaker 11: arise based on the knees and expectations of the community,
• 3:40
  Speaker 11: but most of the time we have relaxed conversations. Now
• 3:58
  Speaker 11: many may not know what rainbow or angel baby and
• 4:12
  Speaker 11: beauty after a Dark Time. An angel baby refers to
• 4:16
  Speaker 11: an infant who is lowered shortly after pregnancy in death syndrome,
• 4:28
  Speaker 11: not every parent.
• 4:32
  Speaker 12: Or angel baby, and pregnancies as such, the birth a
• 4:48
  Speaker 12: topic or MOLA pregnancy.
• 4:51
  Speaker 11: Mola pregnancy is the fertilized egg that implants in the universe.
• 4:56
  Speaker 11: Parents who are pregnant again after a loss might go
• 4:59
  Speaker 11: through a whi range of emotions like grief, joy, confusion, sadness,
• 5:05
  Speaker 11: and anxiety. Many newborns in the US, especially black and
• 5:10
  Speaker 11: brown newborns, experienced tragically high levels of infant depth. Tonight,
• 5:16
  Speaker 11: I have the honor of sitting with Tracy Turner of
• 5:20
  Speaker 11: the Whole Project at Roberta's House, Andrea, Patrice and Blue.
• 5:26
  Speaker 11: Welcome to Basic Black after Dark, but I wish it
• 5:30
  Speaker 11: was under other circumstances. First and foremost, my condolences for
• 5:49
  Speaker 11: everyone's loss, for their babies and their loved ones and
• 5:53
  Speaker 11: what they call their angel babies.
• 6:04
  Speaker 8: So again we are here with.
• 6:08
  Speaker 11: Lacy Turner from the Whole House at Roberta's House, Andrea,
• 6:13
  Speaker 11: Patrice and Blue again, welcome to Basic Black at the
• 6:16
  Speaker 11: dog I'm apologizing early because we are having some problems
• 6:26
  Speaker 11: here with the weather in the state that I am.
• 6:30
  Speaker 11: Some of them can hear, but some of them are
• 6:32
  Speaker 11: having a hard time. I'm coming on to the link.
• 6:36
  Speaker 8: So we are.
• 6:37
  Speaker 11: We have called for some storms in the community and
• 6:41
  Speaker 11: I'm in but hopefully that will lighten up soon. But
• 6:46
  Speaker 11: here we are with Mss Patrice and Miss Tracy and
• 6:50
  Speaker 11: Miss Andrea, and we have Miss Blue. Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, ladies,
• 6:56
  Speaker 11: and again I am so sorry for your loss. I
• 6:58
  Speaker 11: wish we were meeting none the others circumstances.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you.
• 7:07
  Speaker 11: Now your baby doesn't replace the child your laws or
• 7:11
  Speaker 11: the children your laws and someone share without viewers listeners
• 7:15
  Speaker 11: and families currently going through this laws some of the
• 7:18
  Speaker 11: steps that they may they may have went through to
• 7:21
  Speaker 11: help them through their grieving process. Well, I actually celebrated
• 7:32
  Speaker 11: every year.
• 7:34
  Speaker 10: Her birthday is May and I personally just get a cupcake.
• 7:41
  Speaker 10: I'm a big girl, so I do eat the cupcake.
• 7:43
  Speaker 10: I'll let y'all know that right now. But I do
• 7:48
  Speaker 10: celebrate her life just like I would do my other kids. So, yeah,
• 7:53
  Speaker 10: that's really how I got through it.
• 8:01
  Speaker 11: Does anybody else want to share any steps or ways
• 8:03
  Speaker 11: they may have?
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So for me, it was always going back to
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: the basics. So I had to take a moment and
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: just stop and just remember what I was going through
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: and that I was even going through anything. And once
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I did that, I was able to learn that grief
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: can hit at any time and learn what grief was
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: and tools to be able to handle it at any
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: given moment.
• 8:37
  Speaker 8: Wow.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: Wow to most women.
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: And it's in the process itself is different for everyone.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I guess you won't know until you go through it
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: because it can hit at any given time. But you
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: can learn what you can learn and set yourself up
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: for success when those moments hit.
• 9:07
  Speaker 11: Nobody can tell you how to breed. When agreed, you
• 9:11
  Speaker 11: know or go, it's over. It happened a year ago.
• 9:15
  Speaker 11: You should move on. Nobody can tell anybody that, even
• 9:18
  Speaker 11: if somebody else experienced that same grief and loss, still
• 9:22
  Speaker 11: can't tell somebody when and how to grieve a loss.
• 9:27
  Speaker 11: Oh you should take this advice and just do this.
• 9:29
  Speaker 11: Oh maybe you should just move on. Maybe you should
• 9:32
  Speaker 11: have died. Maybe should It's not the same and it
• 9:35
  Speaker 11: is different. We have a message from Trevina and she says,
• 9:38
  Speaker 11: thank you for sharing your journey and my condolences and
• 9:41
  Speaker 11: prayers for you all. Thank you so much, Trivia. Most
• 9:45
  Speaker 11: women who lose a baby will get pregnant again. And
• 9:49
  Speaker 11: I understand your body takes time to heal, but your
• 9:52
  Speaker 11: mental state also takes time to recover. Anyone see counseling
• 9:58
  Speaker 11: or go to a life coach after.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: The loss, After the first one I received, you know,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: the immediate counseling. I mean, I think because my doctor
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: helped me birth all four of my living children at
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: the same doctor, the same room, same hospitals, Like I
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: felt like there was meant to be because I had
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: her for all of them, and she's like, no, do
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: you want to keep having kids? And I'm just like,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I don't know because I was scared, and then so
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: I gave them. You know, I knew that they were
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: rainbow babies after so that's part of their name. And
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to teach my seven year old now that
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I love all my children the same. But it's like
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: just that little piece of special you know, he's a
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: little pot of gold at the end of that rainbow.
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: And yeah, life, God, he's a medium godfriend, so he's
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: not medium.
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 11:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 11:09
  Speaker 11: Sometimes you know, to other children that's in the family
• 11:13
  Speaker 11: that came before the rainbow babies, they may feel as
• 11:18
  Speaker 11: though you treat that baby different. They may not understand,
• 11:21
  Speaker 11: you know, what you went through with the process.
• 11:23
  Speaker 8: They may not even know anything about rainbow babies at all.
• 11:26
  Speaker 11: So sometimes they may say you favor him or favor her,
• 11:31
  Speaker 11: you know, regarding the baby, Tracy, Losing a child is
• 11:36
  Speaker 11: a painful experience, and it's essential for women. We'd also
• 11:40
  Speaker 11: like to recognize that fathers also greed differently. Historically, dirief
• 11:45
  Speaker 11: has often been overlooked, but reason awareness is shedding light
• 11:49
  Speaker 11: on their unique struggle. Can you share with our viewers
• 11:53
  Speaker 11: and listens how the whole project is supporting fathers who
• 11:55
  Speaker 11: suffer the loss of their baby.
• 11:58
  Speaker 13: Yes, Diamond, and thank you for their opportunity. So the
• 12:02
  Speaker 13: whole project at Roberta's House is heared to supporting moms
• 12:07
  Speaker 13: who have experienced the loss of a pregnancy or an
• 12:11
  Speaker 13: infant before their first birthday. And recently we launched a
• 12:15
  Speaker 13: pilot program called Holding On to Hope which supports the
• 12:20
  Speaker 13: fathers as well because they also lost a pregnancy or
• 12:25
  Speaker 13: an infant and we want them to have a safe
• 12:29
  Speaker 13: space to feel supported in their grief as well. And
• 12:34
  Speaker 13: in the fall, we're going to have a co ed
• 12:37
  Speaker 13: support group for the moms and the dad alongside our
• 12:41
  Speaker 13: regular Still a Mom which is called the SAM Support
• 12:44
  Speaker 13: Group for the moms to again to continue to provide
• 12:50
  Speaker 13: that safe space and supportive environment for the dads to
• 12:54
  Speaker 13: be able to come with their partners and so they
• 12:57
  Speaker 13: can start to move along that handing journey together.
• 13:03
  Speaker 8: That is just amazing for the men because a.
• 13:07
  Speaker 11: Lot of times the father's going notice, when you know
• 13:12
  Speaker 11: that a woman is pregnant and you're giving her the glory,
• 13:14
  Speaker 11: you may give the guy a high five. Yeah, you're
• 13:16
  Speaker 11: going to be a dad. But you're watching the mother
• 13:19
  Speaker 11: possibly through the entire nine months. You see her getting larger,
• 13:22
  Speaker 11: and you're hearing her talk about the joys of the
• 13:28
  Speaker 11: trimesters that she's going through. And then when the result
• 13:32
  Speaker 11: comes that there's a loss, they look to the mother,
• 13:36
  Speaker 11: you know, and they do send their condolences to the mother,
• 13:40
  Speaker 11: and they wrap around the mother. But Dad is still there,
• 13:44
  Speaker 11: and Dad suffered the same loss. He may not have carried,
• 13:48
  Speaker 11: but he's still suffered a loss of a child that
• 13:50
  Speaker 11: he was looking forward to.
• 13:54
  Speaker 8: Right, yes, go ahead, I'm sorry.
• 13:57
  Speaker 13: I was just gonna, you know, piggyback on that. Yeah,
• 14:00
  Speaker 13: he lost that the child as well, and along with
• 14:05
  Speaker 13: that comes the lost hopes and dreams and plans that
• 14:08
  Speaker 13: you have for that child that never get realized. So,
• 14:12
  Speaker 13: you know, it's and men and women greed differently, and
• 14:16
  Speaker 13: men are just you know, they internalize their role as
• 14:21
  Speaker 13: being the supporter and the provider and to make sure
• 14:25
  Speaker 13: that we're good. But then somebody has to make sure
• 14:28
  Speaker 13: they're good too.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:31
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and sometimes it's hard for the man. You know,
• 14:35
  Speaker 11: I don't want to be the one to sit and
• 14:36
  Speaker 11: say that they do. They cry internally and we just
• 14:41
  Speaker 11: don't see it, you know, and they could be their
• 14:46
  Speaker 11: cry could be louder than what we could even ever imagine,
• 14:50
  Speaker 11: you know. And then they try to continue to be
• 14:53
  Speaker 11: supportive to the mothers and to the families, because sometimes
• 14:58
  Speaker 11: you have a sibling that's looking forward to having another
• 15:01
  Speaker 11: sibling and then all of a sudden, that's not there anymore.
• 15:06
  Speaker 11: So it affects the entire family, and it affects the
• 15:09
  Speaker 11: entire community because you have relatives, grandparents, you know, could
• 15:13
  Speaker 11: be their first grandchild or or something. Or you may
• 15:16
  Speaker 11: have found out what you were having, you was having
• 15:19
  Speaker 11: a mail and it could be one that carries the
• 15:21
  Speaker 11: legacy on.
• 15:22
  Speaker 8: So it affects It affects everyone, not just mom.
• 15:26
  Speaker 11: I'm not making light of Mom, but you know, that's
• 15:28
  Speaker 11: who we always see whenever we see, you know, when
• 15:32
  Speaker 11: we hear about loss of the baby and whatnot. Some
• 15:36
  Speaker 11: people who take on this terminology of angel babies and
• 15:41
  Speaker 11: rainbow babies say, it's not the baby that died that's
• 15:44
  Speaker 11: the storm. Is it more about the grief that comes afterwards?
• 15:51
  Speaker 11: Do anybody feel that it's more about the grief that
• 15:53
  Speaker 11: comes afterwards.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, I do.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: My experience of having an angel baby. I tried to
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: kind of go go, go, go go, and what I
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: thought I was doing was getting things done and getting
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: hitting all these bucket lists and checklists, but in reality
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: it looked like rage and depression. So the while the
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: baby is remembered, and while while you're pregnant you don't
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: feel that storm, you feel the storm after and getting
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: those support systems and those tools that you need comes
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: in all after it's happened.
• 16:40
  Speaker 10: I think I'm with you, but I think mine was
• 16:44
  Speaker 10: when I saw that I was pregnant again, okay, because
• 16:48
  Speaker 10: all those guards came up and I started to compare,
• 16:54
  Speaker 10: and that was my worst enemy, like one time, thinking
• 17:00
  Speaker 10: should I sit like this or should I not sit
• 17:02
  Speaker 10: like this?
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: I was really.
• 17:03
  Speaker 10: Trying to compare them until the point that I made
• 17:06
  Speaker 10: myself so sick that they put me in the hospital.
• 17:10
  Speaker 10: And that's when I started to get the counseling that
• 17:14
  Speaker 10: I needed. So, yeah, I do understand, but mine came
• 17:19
  Speaker 10: later on once I found out again, I understand.
• 17:23
  Speaker 11: I want you, ladies to know that it's nothing that
• 17:27
  Speaker 11: you've done wrong that caused that loss. I don't want
• 17:31
  Speaker 11: anybody to walk away feeling that I should have stood
• 17:36
  Speaker 11: up more should have, you know, not taking those vitamins.
• 17:40
  Speaker 11: I should have taken these vitamins. I should have this,
• 17:43
  Speaker 11: I should have It's not your fault. It's something that
• 17:46
  Speaker 11: has happened. I can't contest to it. Sometimes I say
• 17:53
  Speaker 11: two friends that have lost I said, you know, God
• 17:56
  Speaker 11: needed that angel up there with him, needed it, needed
• 18:00
  Speaker 11: you to carry it as much as you could carry it,
• 18:03
  Speaker 11: because you're the only person that could have.
• 18:06
  Speaker 8: But He needed that up there because he has a
• 18:10
  Speaker 8: job for your angel.
• 18:13
  Speaker 11: Your angel will know who you are because you are
• 18:15
  Speaker 11: the one that carried them through. So you know, that's
• 18:17
  Speaker 11: just me speaking because I haven't suffered that loss.
• 18:23
  Speaker 8: But that's just the way I imagine, and it's not
• 18:26
  Speaker 8: about soothing him.
• 18:27
  Speaker 11: It's that's just the way that I see things, you know,
• 18:29
  Speaker 11: and everybody see it differently in the way that they
• 18:31
  Speaker 11: carry And some people carry that guilt and.
• 18:35
  Speaker 8: They want to think that it's guilt. It's not.
• 18:38
  Speaker 11: Apartners sometimes go back and forth at it, and that's
• 18:42
  Speaker 11: where the counseling comes in at so they can either
• 18:46
  Speaker 11: separate counseling or go together in council so there's no blame.
• 18:50
  Speaker 8: Blue. He was about to say something.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: Kind of sort of a this Patricia is.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Andrea said, I wanted to know maybe it's just me,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: but like the actual Rainbow baby, just do you guys
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: feel as though you overcompensate the loss by doing being
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: extra protective and doing more because you know this is
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: what I would have.
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: Did for that baby.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: And it's like, well, like I said, I named my
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: children because I knew they were rainbow babies. I have
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: Tatum Rain and my young he's seven, and my youngest
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: who's one, is true Rain. And I thought I was
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: gonna lose her the day I had a because I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: saw her and I was like, I've never seen a
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: baby so small, Like I just knew, you know, I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: was missing a couple of days of a prenatal vitamin
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: or blood pressure medicine or a missed appointment or something.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: So I was like, like, what is he gonna think
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: when you see this little baby come out of me?
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: She was like, I can really just hold it like
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: this so little right now, It's like my.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: Mom was like, nobody's gonna hurt that baby.
• 20:05
  Speaker 5: Not.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: I didn't want to go to daycare. I didn't want
• 20:08
  Speaker 4: her to go visit family.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't even want her to go stay with her dad,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, come see her here.
• 20:14
  Speaker 4: You're like, that's my baby. I want my family to
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: see her.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: You can send the pitches like I literally printed out
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: pitches on free prints and was like, Hea, give it
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: to your mom, your brothers and her other siblings. I'm like,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: there you go, Like I didn't want nobody around. I
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: don't want to don't breath on my baby.
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: Back up. You can see it.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I understand. I'm I understand that completely. I'm currently in
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: the process of carrying my rainbow baby.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: So thank you.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: So I am trying to find the balance not to overstep,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: not to overthink, or not to be overprotective or even compare.
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: I have days where I do it more and I
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: have my that are the good days. But I just
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: utilize the tools I learned through Roberta's House through therapy
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: and just apply it and take that moment instead of
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: looking at it that way of being that way, I'll
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: take a moment to really see, Okay, what's the next
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: step for me?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: What am I really doing? Am I really comparing?
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: And once I'm able to compare, me able to decompressed
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: and approach it a different way or change my mindset
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: on whatever it is.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking, hmm.
• 21:28
  Speaker 11: I love that when you said you to decompressed, because
• 21:31
  Speaker 11: a lot of people don't just are afraid to move,
• 21:35
  Speaker 11: afraid to do anything. You know, I'm afraid joke, sandwich,
• 21:40
  Speaker 11: the that's wrong, you know, just to other people, maybe
• 21:46
  Speaker 11: simple little things, but it becomes it becomes real that
• 21:50
  Speaker 11: you know, it's the jelly.
• 21:52
  Speaker 8: Let me check this jaw. And I'm looking at what's
• 21:53
  Speaker 8: in here, you know, just looking at every new And.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: Like I was telling other people that weren't pregnant guys,
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: older people, young people.
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: They don't eat that.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: You're gonna mess up your keep prodective system. Don't eat that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: That's the wrong fishing that got too much bakery in it.
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: And like all I wanted to do was sleep, hold
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: my belly and just be by myself in the dark
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: room windows.
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: Just leave me alone. I'm good.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: I'll come around people wake up, and I want to
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: be you know, when I need that human interaction.
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: But you know, I'm pop of ice cube.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: Then just to see the baby move, like knowing like
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: oh you in there, you're moving around to.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: My mom, that's out there, I'm not pregnant. You regulous
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: so it's like, I don't.
• 22:49
  Speaker 10: Know, not Blue, I totally understand what you did. I
• 22:54
  Speaker 10: was six months pregnant with my daughter. I was still
• 22:57
  Speaker 10: taking pregnancy test us.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I'm.
• 23:04
  Speaker 8: Looking at a big old belly.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, let me take the stances to make sure.
• 23:07
  Speaker 5: Like I was.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I was silly.
• 23:11
  Speaker 10: Now I look back, it's silly, but I knew what
• 23:15
  Speaker 10: I was going through.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: Now I can look back at it a.
• 23:20
  Speaker 8: Normal as you can.
• 23:21
  Speaker 11: Can can tell your story, and you probably will someday
• 23:26
  Speaker 11: tell your story again. I didn't go through it, but
• 23:29
  Speaker 11: when my son makes me upset, I say, I went
• 23:33
  Speaker 11: through seventy two hours of label with your boy. So
• 23:36
  Speaker 11: you guys will be He's a big wife, he's a whopper.
• 23:43
  Speaker 11: You tell your stories, and you'll find your way to
• 23:46
  Speaker 11: tell your stories when you're ready to tell your story, U, Tracy,
• 23:51
  Speaker 11: how different has it been with someone who has lost
• 23:54
  Speaker 11: an adult child than a baby or is there a difference?
• 23:58
  Speaker 11: Because I know at Roberta's house you work with families
• 24:03
  Speaker 11: who also lost you know adult children or you know
• 24:08
  Speaker 11: other adults, but there's also those such as Andrea and
• 24:12
  Speaker 11: Blue and Patrice who have lost it. How different is
• 24:16
  Speaker 11: it from the reactions of them. Some people may say
• 24:22
  Speaker 11: that you didn't know that baby, but you knew this
• 24:24
  Speaker 11: person for maybe fifteen, twenty thirty years, so you shouldn't
• 24:29
  Speaker 11: have been that attached.
• 24:30
  Speaker 8: And I don't like hearing that when they say you
• 24:32
  Speaker 8: shouldn't have been that attached. It's still your child.
• 24:36
  Speaker 13: I think you know, I'm not an expert because I
• 24:40
  Speaker 13: have not had the experience of losing an adult child,
• 24:45
  Speaker 13: but I have lost the pregnancy. I think it's as
• 24:49
  Speaker 13: different as the individual.
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: Grief is grief.
• 24:52
  Speaker 13: It doesn't matter you know the age or even you
• 24:56
  Speaker 13: know the proximity of the person. When you lose somebody,
• 25:01
  Speaker 13: that's trauma. It's a traumatic experience. Everybody experiences trauma in
• 25:06
  Speaker 13: their own individual way, So you know, any degrees of
• 25:12
  Speaker 13: more or less severe, or important or painful, I don't
• 25:18
  Speaker 13: think that those terms apply. It's a painful experience that
• 25:24
  Speaker 13: you go through when you lose someone that you love,
• 25:28
  Speaker 13: whether or not you've known them for five seconds or
• 25:30
  Speaker 13: fifty years.
• 25:33
  Speaker 8: So thank you so much of that.
• 25:35
  Speaker 11: Some women go through postpartum depression, also called PPD. It's
• 25:40
  Speaker 11: a medical condition that many women go through after having
• 25:43
  Speaker 11: a baby. Still, I ignore the fact that the postpartum
• 25:46
  Speaker 11: could also affect those who are a grieving or loss.
• 25:50
  Speaker 11: Did anyone go through postpartum or grief after that, especially
• 25:54
  Speaker 11: if you had a baby prior to that, To anybody
• 25:57
  Speaker 11: go through postpartum, could they separate or differentiate between postpartum
• 26:05
  Speaker 11: and grief?
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: So for me, I feel like I went through both,
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: but I feel like I can't separate it.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: Even though I.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Had children before, I didn't experience postpartum. If I did,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: I wasn't aware that I was experiencing it. And with
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: the grief band so heavy and the symptoms of postpartum
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: depression and you know, going through it, it does it
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel different.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: Not for me.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: I thought that, Like me said before, I thought I
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: did something wrong. So with the over conversation, I was like,
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I have to have another baby right away, because that's
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: the only thing that's going to fix this. So it was, uh,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: get pregnant and how you up and get do a
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: fast be so you know nobody would know is that
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: that baby that you lost was gone. So and then
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I didn't know anything about the topic pregnancies. So when
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: I learned about it and I learned what it was
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: and what it could do.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: I was just like flabbergast.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, like the baby could
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: still be growing, but not where it's supposed to grow.
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: And so that was like another loss on top of
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: the first one. So then I had my son. I
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: was in a space that it was better for him
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: and myself. I wasn't around the negative, you know, the negativity.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: I still had the great support system at home even
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: though I wasn't home. And he's the biggest baby I
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: ever saw, well, the biggest baby I birth.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: If I was like, oh my god, I did it.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: And I called him chubby, and just seeing him smile
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: and the way he couldn't go eyebrow up. He just
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: he's a little gentleman like just he he's tat like
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: it's my baby, even though he's not the baby.
• 28:06
  Speaker 4: He's just such a compassionate little boy. And I'm just like,
• 28:10
  Speaker 4: show him your mama, did they send me home? The
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: right one?
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: His compassion for other people, and the way he cares
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: for his sister, even though she she'd be hitting him,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: the way he's like, it's.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: Okay, She's just a baby. And I'm like, man, is
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: she is it good that she has you as a brother?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: And this is properly him now knocking on my door,
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: and good that she has.
• 28:36
  Speaker 14: You see your name, he heard me, handsome, go watch it.
• 28:52
  Speaker 11: You finish the podcast, you can come get him. By
• 28:58
  Speaker 11: the way, Glue is my daughter. So when she's talking
• 29:03
  Speaker 11: about her children, especially that little girl of hers, she's
• 29:06
  Speaker 11: on her little vacation with hers, just what she ads,
• 29:11
  Speaker 11: she's a piece of work, and sold that little one
• 29:14
  Speaker 11: standing right next to her and all the piece of work.
• 29:16
  Speaker 11: And that's wasn't speaking. I'm very happy that they hear.
• 29:20
  Speaker 11: But I have a question for you ladies when it
• 29:23
  Speaker 11: comes time to these children. But what I had mentioned
• 29:27
  Speaker 11: earlier was that how grief is different for fathers. Fathers
• 29:31
  Speaker 11: may grieve differently from their mothers. Understanding their distinct needs
• 29:35
  Speaker 11: and emotions is crucial for providing effective support. I recently
• 29:40
  Speaker 11: spoke with a husband who taught me about a rule
• 29:43
  Speaker 11: he used when grieving. And he called this rule the
• 29:46
  Speaker 11: five five five rule. And when he said that, I said,
• 29:50
  Speaker 11: is he thinking of the eighty twenty rule or what's
• 29:53
  Speaker 11: going on?
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 29:55
  Speaker 11: And he clearly explained to me the five five five
• 29:57
  Speaker 11: rule during grief and his postpart autumn period after the
• 30:01
  Speaker 11: loss of his baby boy.
• 30:03
  Speaker 8: He said it helped him manage his well being.
• 30:06
  Speaker 11: He said it took five days in bed, five days
• 30:10
  Speaker 11: on the bed, and five days around the bed to
• 30:15
  Speaker 11: be sure he was in the right headspace to get
• 30:18
  Speaker 11: out of bed. So what was support like that for you,
• 30:22
  Speaker 11: Because that was amazing, those five five fives, I said, shooting.
• 30:27
  Speaker 8: I get home one day and.
• 30:28
  Speaker 11: I'm just tired, and I just had it at work.
• 30:30
  Speaker 11: I may try those triple fives myself, you know, being
• 30:34
  Speaker 11: in the bed, being on the bed, being around the bed,
• 30:37
  Speaker 11: and making sure you're in the right headspace. So I
• 30:40
  Speaker 11: applaud this gentleman for even just sharing that with us,
• 30:45
  Speaker 11: and for opening my eyes up to something that's different,
• 30:48
  Speaker 11: because a man can teach you things, and this man
• 30:52
  Speaker 11: has taught me something, so I thank him for that.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: I think the most important part of the I don't
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: know what to call it, the healing part of being
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: a rainbow baby mom is, like you said, understanding that
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: it's not our fault, it's not something we did, and
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: the fact that we were strong enough, like miss Andrea
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: Heir is having a baby like she has she's pregnant
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: her rainbow baby, knowing that she's well enough and and
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: you know, competent because a lot of people's like, oh
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: they were say, I'm crazy, and I would think that
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: the baby is still there, you know, because your your
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: stomach is still bloated and all of that.
• 31:47
  Speaker 4: So you know, just having a courage to you know,
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: you not go back out there, like even know what to.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: Put yourself back in that world of trying to be
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: a mom.
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: Okay, so who else to you?
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: And miss pat I look at it like it's not
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: me because I'm like, maybe I was outside too much
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: of you. I should have ran up the stairs. Now
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: I look at this little boy.
• 32:17
  Speaker 11: Thank you so much to the trivia put in this.
• 32:20
  Speaker 11: You loved the five five to five rol. Thank you
• 32:23
  Speaker 11: so much. I said to myself that I'm going to
• 32:25
  Speaker 11: use it. It may take time for parents to come
• 32:27
  Speaker 11: to terms with the loss of their baby, and when
• 32:29
  Speaker 11: they are ready, they create memories of their loss. Some
• 32:32
  Speaker 11: parents play in a garden or a tree in their
• 32:35
  Speaker 11: honor of their baby, and others make a memory box
• 32:38
  Speaker 11: or ask the hospital for the footprints and handprints of
• 32:42
  Speaker 11: their baby for keepsakes. Can you share if you want
• 32:45
  Speaker 11: to without listeners? If you is, if you honored the
• 32:48
  Speaker 11: memory of your baby. And if not, it's okay. But
• 32:51
  Speaker 11: if so, what have you done to honor your baby?
• 32:55
  Speaker 11: I know you honor your baby every day. You know,
• 32:57
  Speaker 11: it's not a day that you don't think about your baby.
• 33:00
  Speaker 11: But it's somebody like a tree or get the fingerprints
• 33:03
  Speaker 11: or or is it something that special ribbon?
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: Yes, so I created.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I'm very spiritual and I need my time when i'm
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: just you know, praying and things of that sort. So
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: I created a sacred space for my rainbow baby a Marisky.
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: I created a sacred space. Whereas though I have her,
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I do have a keepsake box that the hospital gave
• 33:30
  Speaker 1: me with clothes with you know, like her footprints and
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: things of that sort, and I just put things that
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I love on it, things she may love, may have loved,
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: or signs or symbols that I've noticed with her. I
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: have a couple of things from Roberta's house as well
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: that I placed on there. And I also so basically
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: I can have that space when I need time with
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: my child to actually go sit there and be with her,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: and that's her and our family place to just still
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: have her right here. So I have that irons and
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: just other creative things that's gonna remind me of her,
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: but honor her as well.
• 34:24
  Speaker 10: Just give you tonight. I'll just to give you tonight.
• 34:28
  Speaker 10: I have my baby box, like right here next to me,
• 34:32
  Speaker 10: like it is literally right here. It was created by
• 34:39
  Speaker 10: the nurse in the hospital.
• 34:41
  Speaker 8: She was so sweet.
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: She she brought this to me.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: It was.
• 34:46
  Speaker 10: The dress that she was buried in and for footprints.
• 34:51
  Speaker 10: And she asked me so polite, she asked me, she said,
• 34:55
  Speaker 10: do you want a picture, yes, ma'am, and she put
• 34:59
  Speaker 10: it in there. And all I know is when I
• 35:01
  Speaker 10: got home, she said, do not go through your bag
• 35:05
  Speaker 10: while you're here. Want you go home, you get settled,
• 35:10
  Speaker 10: and I want you to go through your bag. And like,
• 35:13
  Speaker 10: literally right now, this box is sitting.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: Here next to me.
• 35:16
  Speaker 11: So yeah, I employed the nurses that respect that the
• 35:23
  Speaker 11: parents that are going through this.
• 35:25
  Speaker 8: Because some nurses.
• 35:30
  Speaker 11: Will just delive and keep moving, you know, or say
• 35:34
  Speaker 11: this person lost their baby and keep moving.
• 35:36
  Speaker 8: But then you have those nurses that are truly.
• 35:39
  Speaker 11: Compassionate, that work on that word or department or that floor,
• 35:45
  Speaker 11: that are truly compassionate, and they go through that process
• 35:49
  Speaker 11: with you while you're there in the hospital. They don't
• 35:52
  Speaker 11: just ignore it, even check on you to see how
• 35:54
  Speaker 11: you're doing. So I employed those nurses that do just that,
• 35:59
  Speaker 11: because yeah, any of them don't you know, this is
• 36:02
  Speaker 11: just my job. You know, I don't know her things.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: Like that, and you're.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: No good.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: The hardest part of losing a child for me was
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: not going home with that child. So to have those
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: boxes and I have those memories. I still went home
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: with my child, creating that space. I'm still home with
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: my child, even beginning in the hospital, So it's important.
• 36:36
  Speaker 8: I thank you ladies for that.
• 36:37
  Speaker 11: We're gonna take a quick break before I break down
• 36:40
  Speaker 11: myself because these stories are just they're really touching. So
• 36:44
  Speaker 11: we're gonna take a quick commercial break, and when we return,
• 36:48
  Speaker 11: we're gonna continue talking about grief and loss of your
• 36:50
  Speaker 11: beautiful angel and rainbow babies.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 36:58
  Speaker 15: Roda's House was founded in two thousand and seven by
• 37:00
  Speaker 15: my family to honor our mother, Julia Robertamarsch. Our mother
• 37:04
  Speaker 15: and father provided funeral care for thousands of African Americans
• 37:08
  Speaker 15: in Baltimore of little needs. We recognize that the epidemic
• 37:13
  Speaker 15: of unresolved grief contributed to increased violence and health disparities
• 37:18
  Speaker 15: in our city. Many residents lose their jobs, their source
• 37:21
  Speaker 15: of income, or become as strange from family members and
• 37:25
  Speaker 15: their community, creating a perfect storm of loss, grief, anger,
• 37:30
  Speaker 15: and resignation. Roberta's House transforms the ability of individuals and
• 37:35
  Speaker 15: families to find new purpose, circles of support, manage stress,
• 37:39
  Speaker 15: and learn healthy coping skills that improve their well being.
• 37:43
  Speaker 15: We have provided free grief support and counseling to over
• 37:47
  Speaker 15: ten thousand survivors of homicide, suicide, overdose, and women who
• 37:51
  Speaker 15: have lost their babies. Our educational programs have reached thousands
• 37:56
  Speaker 15: in schools, workplaces, and faith communities. Roberta's House staff have
• 38:01
  Speaker 15: trained over eight hundred volunteers. Our volunteers reflect the experiences
• 38:06
  Speaker 15: of the communities we serve. In twenty twenty one, we
• 38:09
  Speaker 15: opened the first of a kind Bereatings Center in Baltimore.
• 38:13
  Speaker 15: The new center is an anchor for the revitalization of
• 38:17
  Speaker 15: a blighted neighborhood. Roberta's House is a leader and an
• 38:20
  Speaker 15: innovator in public health interventions to impact unresolved grief.
• 38:28
  Speaker 8: If you haven't been to Roberta's House, I tell you
• 38:36
  Speaker 8: you really need to go by there. Knock on the door,
• 38:38
  Speaker 8: ring the bell volunteer because it's they have so much.
• 38:46
  Speaker 8: They have so much.
• 38:47
  Speaker 11: I remember after I lost my husband and they had
• 38:52
  Speaker 11: any event there and it was around the Christmas time
• 38:56
  Speaker 11: and I heard about it and I said, I'm.
• 38:58
  Speaker 8: Not going, just couldn't take it.
• 39:01
  Speaker 11: But I walked in and when I came out, I
• 39:04
  Speaker 11: just I felt something left and I said I needed
• 39:09
  Speaker 11: to be in that place. So it behooved me to
• 39:11
  Speaker 11: be there at that time. Roberta's House has just offered
• 39:16
  Speaker 11: so much. Tracy, how does the whole project help a
• 39:20
  Speaker 11: bereaved team, because teenagers go through this as.
• 39:24
  Speaker 8: Well well teams.
• 39:29
  Speaker 13: We have our program called Changing the Game and it
• 39:33
  Speaker 13: is geared to adolescents and teens and they go out
• 39:39
  Speaker 13: into the schools and then they also have programs where
• 39:42
  Speaker 13: they meet on Thursdays at Roberta's House and they helped
• 39:46
  Speaker 13: them to process their grief and loss of anyone that
• 39:51
  Speaker 13: was significant to them. So, and actually we have Camp
• 39:56
  Speaker 13: Aaron coming up next weekend.
• 39:59
  Speaker 8: We take kids.
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: I think we have.
• 40:03
  Speaker 13: Like seventy kids that are going to camp over the
• 40:07
  Speaker 13: weekend and it's just filled with you know, fun camping activities,
• 40:12
  Speaker 13: but still that grief and laws support so that they
• 40:15
  Speaker 13: are able to you know, process their grief, honor their
• 40:19
  Speaker 13: loved ones, and still feel supportive, but yet still be
• 40:24
  Speaker 13: able to commune with their peers and have fun while you.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: Know, during the summer. So it's just for a couple
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: of days, but we have.
• 40:32
  Speaker 13: So many different services ranging again from adolescens and teenagers
• 40:40
  Speaker 13: to homicide survivor advocacy programs, Time of Sharing, Men of
• 40:49
  Speaker 13: Loyalty and dignity, Like we have something for everyone in
• 40:53
  Speaker 13: the family, and we also have counseling and therapy services
• 40:58
  Speaker 13: and everything that we provide us free.
• 41:01
  Speaker 8: So get there.
• 41:03
  Speaker 11: Everything, everything that they provide is free Channett Acts. Are
• 41:06
  Speaker 11: they connected to any program in California.
• 41:09
  Speaker 13: No, No, we're just in Baltimore City and in Prince
• 41:14
  Speaker 13: George's County, in the Atlantam Greenville area of Prince George's County.
• 41:21
  Speaker 11: But I got a feeling that you guys are going
• 41:23
  Speaker 11: to be going out a little further than where we're
• 41:25
  Speaker 11: at now, because this Roberta's House is something, It is
• 41:29
  Speaker 11: truly something. They Roberta's House. If you if you go
• 41:32
  Speaker 11: on their website, you'll see that they do much more
• 41:35
  Speaker 11: than what we're talking about tonight. They're just it's family.
• 41:41
  Speaker 11: It's it's family.
• 41:43
  Speaker 8: And if you're not born into their family of merited
• 41:51
  Speaker 8: that she is, you just feel the warmth.
• 41:53
  Speaker 11: There with them and they just bring you in. Have
• 41:58
  Speaker 11: you or any of you you told your child that
• 42:01
  Speaker 11: he or she is a rainbow angel or baby? Have
• 42:04
  Speaker 11: you explained it to your your child? And then so
• 42:09
  Speaker 11: what did what did they what did they think or
• 42:11
  Speaker 11: what did they say?
• 42:15
  Speaker 8: Patricia laughing because.
• 42:17
  Speaker 5: You're to.
• 42:21
  Speaker 9: It was questions, go more and then so that means
• 42:27
  Speaker 9: I get to celebrate two birthday and get kicked more often,
• 42:34
  Speaker 9: you say her, when you get a cupkicked, that means
• 42:39
  Speaker 9: you get.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: An extra one from now on, right? So I was like, yeah,
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: So I showed her the box? Can I have her?
• 42:46
  Speaker 8: Teddy Bear like, you're serious? When that is the piece
• 42:53
  Speaker 8: of something that she made want to hold on to.
• 42:55
  Speaker 4: M I tried to explain it to Tatum and he
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: was like, is that my my name? Tatum Ring?
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm like yes, and he was he said, you
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: sure because there's a wrestler his name is Roman Raine.
• 43:11
  Speaker 4: And I'm like.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: And I'm trying to explain it to him and he
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: was like, am I the only one do that mean
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I'm extra special because I'm named a favorite.
• 43:23
  Speaker 4: But they don't know I'm naming his favorite.
• 43:27
  Speaker 8: So you just put me on the basket with this boy.
• 43:29
  Speaker 8: So you have all the grandkids called me up to
• 43:31
  Speaker 8: see what you did.
• 43:32
  Speaker 11: You know, I got to sit there and start explaining
• 43:34
  Speaker 11: it to each and every one of them with how
• 43:36
  Speaker 11: special they are to me.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: Say, they go, I haven't experience that just yet, but
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: I only can imagine. My my older children, they do,
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: they well more so. My daughter, she's the one who
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: had questions, and when I explained to her what a
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: rainbow baby is, her reaction was, I love rainbows, so once,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: you know, so once she realized she loved rainbow, she
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: just thought it was an extra sprinkle of love. My
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: older children, they really didn't have experience, and I can
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: only imagine what questions I will have. I don't know
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: if it's a way to prepare for that, though.
• 44:23
  Speaker 8: How do they view themselves as being rainbow babies?
• 44:30
  Speaker 11: Do they are they thinking that they're that extra special
• 44:33
  Speaker 11: baby or do they think that there's substitute baby?
• 44:38
  Speaker 5: Now.
• 44:39
  Speaker 11: I know your children are very young, but I just
• 44:42
  Speaker 11: questioned whether that's something that they may think of later
• 44:45
  Speaker 11: because I was watching them. I don't know if recommention
• 44:49
  Speaker 11: the name of the show, Womber saying, anyway, I was.
• 44:50
  Speaker 11: I was watching Grey's Anatomy, and that was the first
• 44:55
  Speaker 11: time I heard of a donor baby where the couple
• 44:59
  Speaker 11: had a baby for the sake of the other child
• 45:03
  Speaker 11: so the other child can live. How do your children
• 45:08
  Speaker 11: right now view themselves? Yeah, that's what I've learned, but
• 45:12
  Speaker 11: a dona.
• 45:13
  Speaker 8: Baby that.
• 45:15
  Speaker 11: This couple had a baby because their child was sick
• 45:20
  Speaker 11: and the parent didn't match the child.
• 45:23
  Speaker 8: So they said, if you had another child, and might
• 45:25
  Speaker 8: and so they.
• 45:26
  Speaker 11: Had another child, and whenever that child needed what she
• 45:30
  Speaker 11: considered parts, they would take it from their child to
• 45:34
  Speaker 11: get to their child. It's an episode on Gray's Anatomy
• 45:37
  Speaker 11: that if you watch it, and it was it was
• 45:40
  Speaker 11: something that happened my mouth just like Pattersea's mouth, like.
• 45:44
  Speaker 8: I was.
• 45:45
  Speaker 11: I was really really surprised that. You know, Seanda Hime's
• 45:48
  Speaker 11: great job with bringing up the topic, but it's out there.
• 45:52
  Speaker 11: It's out there for her to bring that topic up
• 45:54
  Speaker 11: and hand, it's probably out there. But about your children,
• 45:58
  Speaker 11: how do you think they view themselves? You did tell
• 46:00
  Speaker 11: them about them being a rainbow baby. But do you
• 46:03
  Speaker 11: see them thinking or feeling a certain way about themselves
• 46:08
  Speaker 11: because they are rainbow babies, or how specially do they
• 46:12
  Speaker 11: think that they believe they are?
• 46:16
  Speaker 10: Well, I have my oldest son is twenty one, and
• 46:20
  Speaker 10: then there was my daughter, and then it's the rainbow baby,
• 46:24
  Speaker 10: which is my daughter Naya. He always tells her, you're
• 46:29
  Speaker 10: the special one because you get away with bloody Scott murder.
• 46:34
  Speaker 8: Really but she knows that she's very special.
• 46:41
  Speaker 10: And I think I show that a lot, right, a lot,
• 46:49
  Speaker 10: I think too much sometimes, But yeah.
• 46:53
  Speaker 11: Well there's a difference in their age too, so you
• 46:55
  Speaker 11: know that it doesn't help, but it helped both sides.
• 47:00
  Speaker 11: It doesn't help, but it doesn't help. In one word,
• 47:04
  Speaker 11: how do you what is the personality of your angel
• 47:07
  Speaker 11: or rainbow baby? I heard they have a positive, happy,
• 47:11
  Speaker 11: and cooperative attitude? One word, how would you say they?
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: Are you asking somebody's specific?
• 47:21
  Speaker 11: Yeah, and that's yeah, that's the ask the question, And
• 47:24
  Speaker 11: one word, how do you view your this's their personalities.
• 47:29
  Speaker 11: What is the personality of your angel or a rainbow baby?
• 47:32
  Speaker 11: I heard that they have a positive, happy, and cooperative attitude.
• 47:36
  Speaker 11: Something that's just you've never seen before, because I know
• 47:39
  Speaker 11: I say that about my grandchildren and many of them
• 47:42
  Speaker 11: not Rainbow Baby. I say that, Well, it's something about
• 47:47
  Speaker 11: what is it about that baby that you see that
• 47:51
  Speaker 11: is different than maybe some of your other children. Now,
• 47:55
  Speaker 11: all children are different, but it's just something different because
• 47:58
  Speaker 11: they were Rainbow Baby, and not because of the way
• 48:01
  Speaker 11: you feel, but the way that they they feel, or
• 48:04
  Speaker 11: maybe like this kid is the happiest kid in the world.
• 48:07
  Speaker 8: I've never seen anything like this before, I feel, Yeah.
• 48:13
  Speaker 4: And Night is very empathetic, very very much. Yeah, is
• 48:21
  Speaker 4: very compassionate. Yeah, he's very compassionate.
• 48:26
  Speaker 11: Oh m hm, that's that, and that's that rainbow. That's
• 48:32
  Speaker 11: that rainbow coming over for them, you know. So it's different.
• 48:39
  Speaker 11: How did you feel learning you were pregnant again after.
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: The loss.
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: A whole bunch have one time.
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: It was I was excited, I was worried, I was nervous,
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I was I wanted to hit a back flip, and
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I feel so many different emotions even still going through
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: the pregnancy.
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: I think the very first feeling was shocked, though.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: I think it took until I've really hit that twelve
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: week month to really accept that I was expecting again.
• 49:23
  Speaker 11: So many parents use rainbow imaginery and they announcement because
• 49:28
  Speaker 11: it keeps in mind the baby they lost while they
• 49:30
  Speaker 11: celebrate the baby that's coming. How did you announce and
• 49:33
  Speaker 11: celebrate the coming of your beautiful rainbow baby and people
• 49:37
  Speaker 11: they celebrate this new presence? How did you did you
• 49:42
  Speaker 11: keep it quiet? Did you just go out and tell
• 49:45
  Speaker 11: everybody I'm pregnant again? I know you mentioned that you
• 49:49
  Speaker 11: were nervous, but how did you make the announcement to
• 49:51
  Speaker 11: everybody else? And how did they take it when you
• 49:54
  Speaker 11: told them? So?
• 49:56
  Speaker 2: For me, I it was an increments, right. I compartmentalized immediately.
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: I told my system, I support systems, Roberta's house, my therapist,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: and my immediate family. They were the only ones that
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: knew because I knew I was gonna go through so much.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: Because even finding out it was a lot going on,
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: I kept it a secret until people saw me. When
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: you see me, see me and here it is. But
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: everyone has been so supportive and excited, they are ready.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of joy and positivity, positive feedback that
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: I've been getting regardless of when anyone found out.
• 50:46
  Speaker 11: So back then again can rate a lot of conflicting
• 50:49
  Speaker 11: emotions like guilt, relief, excitement, and sadness. Imagine families go
• 50:54
  Speaker 11: through every type of emotion, tracy. Do you find many
• 50:58
  Speaker 11: families keeping to themselves until they're agnancy becomes visible.
• 51:03
  Speaker 13: I've heard I've had some moms. Again, my interaction has
• 51:10
  Speaker 13: been with the moms. I've had moms say that they
• 51:13
  Speaker 13: wanted to, you know, wait until at least a certain
• 51:19
  Speaker 13: period in the pregnancy, maybe the second trimester or getting
• 51:23
  Speaker 13: past that point where they may have lost the previous
• 51:26
  Speaker 13: pregnancy before they tell anyone. And then you know, they're peers,
• 51:34
  Speaker 13: especially coming through our support groups and being a part
• 51:38
  Speaker 13: of still a Mom or even in our home visiting program.
• 51:41
  Speaker 13: Being a part of this community and you become pregnant,
• 51:45
  Speaker 13: you don't want.
• 51:46
  Speaker 2: To trigger.
• 51:48
  Speaker 13: Your peer by you being pregnant. So there's trepidation with
• 51:53
  Speaker 13: that as well. So there are just a lot of
• 51:55
  Speaker 13: layers too, you know, the process as the group process
• 52:01
  Speaker 13: and then sharing that information because you don't want to
• 52:04
  Speaker 13: trigger someone else's grief.
• 52:05
  Speaker 11: To we had Schanette asked the question about whether you
• 52:10
  Speaker 11: were in California or not? What about virtual would they
• 52:15
  Speaker 11: support someone who's in another state? With the whole project
• 52:19
  Speaker 11: and rovertis support someone if they're in another state and
• 52:23
  Speaker 11: they needed to talk to someone and because of your
• 52:25
  Speaker 11: beautiful program that you have in your office so much
• 52:28
  Speaker 11: and some states may not have that.
• 52:31
  Speaker 8: Would you do virtual? Do you do the virtual already?
• 52:35
  Speaker 13: We do have an option for virtual service, but anyone
• 52:39
  Speaker 13: in a different state, they are more than welcome to
• 52:42
  Speaker 13: give me a call and I'll put my information up there.
• 52:46
  Speaker 13: Call me or shoot me an email and we'll see.
• 52:49
  Speaker 13: If there's not anything that we can provide you, I
• 52:52
  Speaker 13: will make sure I give you resources that you can
• 52:55
  Speaker 13: reach out to because the goal is to make sure
• 52:57
  Speaker 13: that you have the support you need, no matter where
• 53:00
  Speaker 13: it comes from.
• 53:02
  Speaker 8: This has been awesome.
• 53:04
  Speaker 11: I want to thank Tracy for bringing the Whole Project
• 53:08
  Speaker 11: to Basic back after Dark and for Patrice Blue and
• 53:12
  Speaker 11: Adrea for sharing their journey Tracy, can you share without viewers?
• 53:17
  Speaker 11: And this is some of the other programs through the
• 53:19
  Speaker 11: Whole Project and how individuals and families can connect.
• 53:23
  Speaker 14: Yes.
• 53:24
  Speaker 13: So with the Whole Project, we have Still a Mom,
• 53:28
  Speaker 13: which is our ten week support group for Angel moms,
• 53:32
  Speaker 13: and that's on Monday evenings from eight to six and
• 53:36
  Speaker 13: it's on site. But I am going to offer a
• 53:39
  Speaker 13: virtual component to it as well. Then we also have
• 53:44
  Speaker 13: Pregnancy After Loss also known as POWELL, and that's going
• 53:47
  Speaker 13: to be going back to SAM. So our next SAM
• 53:50
  Speaker 13: group is going to start up for the fall session
• 53:54
  Speaker 13: September ninth, and that's on a Monday and ten weeks.
• 53:58
  Speaker 13: And then our POW, which is Pregnancy After Loss for
• 54:02
  Speaker 13: those moms that are currently pregnant after experiencing a loss
• 54:06
  Speaker 13: of a pregnancy or an infant, will start for the
• 54:10
  Speaker 13: fall session September twenty fourth, and that's a Tuesday from
• 54:15
  Speaker 13: six to eight and that's for six weeks. And then
• 54:19
  Speaker 13: we also have angel Versary coming up, which is in October.
• 54:24
  Speaker 13: We're in Perinato and Infant Loss Awareness Month and Angel
• 54:30
  Speaker 13: Versary is going to be held on the fifteenth. It's
• 54:33
  Speaker 13: a big celebration at Roberta's house. There'll be keynote, speakers
• 54:38
  Speaker 13: and candlelight vigil and dinner. So those you'll be able
• 54:44
  Speaker 13: to register for that in the next coming weeks. And
• 54:48
  Speaker 13: then we have our twelve month home Visiting program where
• 54:52
  Speaker 13: it is you would be assigned to a family support
• 54:56
  Speaker 13: worker and they will visit you once a week and
• 54:59
  Speaker 13: you will learn in different tools and they will make
• 55:01
  Speaker 13: sure that you have connections and linkage to any resources
• 55:05
  Speaker 13: you need throughout Baltimore City. So and that's just the
• 55:08
  Speaker 13: whole project. So Roberta's house again, we have time of sharing.
• 55:13
  Speaker 8: Raise Bernie because I.
• 55:17
  Speaker 11: And you really, you know, I wouldn't care what state
• 55:20
  Speaker 11: you're in. I would still say connect with them because
• 55:23
  Speaker 11: of resources. You can speak with someone there. They may
• 55:28
  Speaker 11: be able to give you that advice that or support
• 55:31
  Speaker 11: that you that you're looking for that you may not
• 55:34
  Speaker 11: have in the state that you're in.
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: They may connect you with someone that's close enough in
• 55:39
  Speaker 2: your state.
• 55:41
  Speaker 11: Many families identified with the phrase rainbow baby because there's
• 55:44
  Speaker 11: subsequent pregnancy representa after brief. It could also be aware
• 55:49
  Speaker 11: of honoring a child who is no longer living but
• 55:53
  Speaker 11: an ever present member of their family. On August twenty second,
• 55:58
  Speaker 11: families will celebrate their living children and honor the siblings
• 56:03
  Speaker 11: that did not survive. This is called Rainbow Baby Day.
• 56:07
  Speaker 11: Please join the hundreds of parents and families honoring and
• 56:10
  Speaker 11: celebrating their babies. There are many organizations they are to
• 56:15
  Speaker 11: support you during your time of grief. You can find
• 56:18
  Speaker 11: information and support both when you've lost the pregnancy and
• 56:22
  Speaker 11: when you're having a rainbow baby, such as the March
• 56:25
  Speaker 11: of Dimes, Pregnancy After Loss Support and Robta's House with
• 56:29
  Speaker 11: grief counseling not just parents of Angel and Rainbow babies,
• 56:33
  Speaker 11: but for families who.
• 56:34
  Speaker 8: Have lost loved ones, and what we know as The
• 56:38
  Speaker 8: Whole Project as.
• 56:40
  Speaker 11: Part of their commitment to healing the healing ourselves through
• 56:43
  Speaker 11: peer empowerment. Project empowers it supports mothers who have fetal
• 56:49
  Speaker 11: or infant loss. The Whole Project is the most pressing
• 56:53
  Speaker 11: program that provides resources and comfort, care and teaches how
• 56:57
  Speaker 11: to plan for a healthy future. Join us on Friday,
• 57:02
  Speaker 11: August sixteenth with author Nellie v and his poetry on
• 57:07
  Speaker 11: Basic Black after eight after Dawn. I appreciate you ladies
• 57:13
  Speaker 11: for coming and being so transparent and sharing your stories.
• 57:16
  Speaker 11: I'm hoping that there's someone out there that's heard your.
• 57:20
  Speaker 8: Story and that you were able to give them that
• 57:25
  Speaker 8: I can do this.
• 57:27
  Speaker 11: I need to connect with and if anybody has missed
• 57:31
  Speaker 11: any of the information, you can go into the replay
• 57:35
  Speaker 11: and get all the information. And I'm not sure if
• 57:38
  Speaker 11: there's a connection with any one of these ladies' stories
• 57:41
  Speaker 11: that you may want to connect with, you can contact me.
• 57:45
  Speaker 11: I will try to reach out to them and ask
• 57:47
  Speaker 11: them what it be okay for them to have a
• 57:50
  Speaker 11: contact with you, because some people need some people. You
• 57:55
  Speaker 11: always see and hear that hurt people, hurt people, helping people,
• 57:59
  Speaker 11: help speak. Good Night everybody, and thank you so much
• 58:06
  Speaker 11: for being a part of this, and this is what
• 58:08
  Speaker 11: we're going to try to do every year, and we'll
• 58:11
  Speaker 11: celebrate with them in August Rainbow Babies because unfortunately there's
• 58:17
  Speaker 11: probably going to be more rainbow babies and rainbow families
• 58:22
  Speaker 11: within the next year or so.
• 58:24
  Speaker 8: But remember there's nothing that you did that was wrong.
• 58:28
  Speaker 8: Good Night, ladies, and thank you so much.
• 58:32
  Speaker 13: Good night, good night, Thank you, Tracy, thank you so
• 58:46
  Speaker 13: very much for inviting us and having us here.
• 58:53
  Speaker 14: Let's just reach out, you guys.
• 58:58
  Speaker 7: Office Basic Black After Darn, the all new podcast show
• 59:05
  Speaker 7: with your
• 59:05
  Speaker 5: Host, Black Diamond.