Latest / Anele and the Club on 947 / How to teach your kids to deal with disappointment

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How to teach your kids to deal with disappointment · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a plang, Hi l hand the trap.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: On nine four seven.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Tom, We're still waiting for your follow up voice on
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: my Baby.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 0:11
  Speaker 4: We sent it earlier this morning, while you sent it
• 0:13
  Speaker 4: before six o'clock, and we said, we love the story.
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: We want to participate in what you're asking us, but
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: we need more details. So we're still waiting for that.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Let's give you Tom's one really quickly.
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: Hi Ela, I prefer not to share my name, so.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Please keep me anonymous.
• 0:29
  Speaker 5: But I'm planning on proposing to my girlfriend of a
• 0:32
  Speaker 5: few years now.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: I've already booked we can get away.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I bought the engagement ring and everything, and.
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: Last night I met our father obviously to get his blessing,
• 0:45
  Speaker 5: and he said I can have it, but there's a condition.
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: So now I'm just stuck, like I don't know do
• 0:52
  Speaker 5: I go ahead with it against his wishes or like,
• 0:56
  Speaker 5: what what do I do?
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: We're not going to allow anyone to call in or
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: give WhatsApps or weigh in on this until we know
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: what the conditions are.
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: We don't want to have big stories here, No.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Tom, we need to know because that will inform what
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: we say.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Right A fully baked one Okay.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: We've got a fully bigd story that we can all
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: gather around to discuss.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Is Lirato's voice.
• 1:19
  Speaker 6: Note Anyway, So I ordered a cake for Couma's based
• 1:25
  Speaker 6: day at some bakery, but I ordered it over the phone,
• 1:29
  Speaker 6: and I went to go collect this cake and they
• 1:32
  Speaker 6: spelled his name wrong.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: They refuse to fix that cake.
• 1:37
  Speaker 6: Certainly I would not spell my child's name wrong over
• 1:40
  Speaker 6: the phone or anywhere else. They are so I never
• 1:43
  Speaker 6: used this speakery they are.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: I'm yeah, hmm.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: I'd be upset if I was the mom, though.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Justified, But you can't be upset for too long.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: It's a mistake. It's fine, The cake is still delicious.
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: Let your child take the cake to school. Everyone around
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: your child knows that that's not his name. That's funny,
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: how hard, and let's move on. Honestly, guys, the world
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: is not going to end because our children's lives are
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: not perfect.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Stop this thing.
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: I suppose you can take on the bakery because that's
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: what you're saying. Just message them and say, hey, guys,
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: this is amaking. But there's no you can't change it.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 2:25
  Speaker 7: My thing is, it can't be such a big thing
• 2:28
  Speaker 7: that it ruins your child's experience of their birthday. So
• 2:31
  Speaker 7: there's a mistake. But is that now going to be
• 2:34
  Speaker 7: what we talk about on the day.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: It wouldn't be the first time anyone had a mistake
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: done on.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: The order.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: Do you know what I'm saying? And your child will
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: have a story. I mean I remember a few years
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: ago my child wanted Manchester City cupcakes and the bakery,
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: not me. The bakery didn't Manchester United cupcakes.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: This was like two years ago.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I remember that, and it's a plausible mistake. It
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: can happen because the bakery you heard, Manchester, same city.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying. Do you know who's still
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: fine today, breathing, walking around, thriving, having himself a good
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: old time.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Ye, my son nothing was broken.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I mean he pointed it out immediately. Yes,
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: but I'm sure he went to school with us and
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: he was like, hey, guys, even at.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: School, it was the thing. It was a conversation. It
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: was funny and he kept on telling you can have
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: the cupcake. But remember I don't support United, I support
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: man City. I just and I don't know if some
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: parents will agree with me. This or disagree, and this
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: is I suppose that's a conversation at the hadea is
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: we need to raise our kids to be okay with
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: flaws and okay with mistakes.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: And you just brushed off your shoulder and you move on.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: You know, when we talk about resilience, we're not just
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: talking about oh, you didn't make the cricket team. Even
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: things like this that are supposed to be perfect. It's okay, guys.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Do you know what's nice?
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: The cake? That's still nice? Step some candles on the end,
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: let's sing for you.
• 3:57
  Speaker 7: Because also, I mean, how our parents react or response
• 4:02
  Speaker 7: to situations also influences how we do the same later.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: So is everything a crisis?
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: For example?
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  Speaker 7: I can't function around people with everything is a crisis.
• 4:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're having constant mouthdowns about everything. I think
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: that's maybe this is part of the conversation, right, Susiness
• 4:22
  Speaker 4: Mom is obviously very upset about the becase's upset. She's yeah, right,
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: And but is it that have you I think maybe
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: as parents, have you caught yourself in a moment where
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: you go, this is actually a teaching moment for my
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: child because the way I handle the situation is going
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: to inform what they see.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: Kids mimic what you do. So if you're.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: Anxious all the time, most kids are going to be
• 4:43
  Speaker 4: anxious all the time. Isn't that that's how it works?
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Or if you want everything to be perfect all the time.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Do you know who your kids are not going to
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: go to when they've made a mistake?
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: You right, because they're scared.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Because you had a meltdown about the wrong spelling of
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: a name. I know your name, you know your name,
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: your friends know your name. Yes, the bakery is wrong.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: And I think maybe the bakery of you know, kind
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: of thrown in muffins or cupcakes or scorns to be like, oh,
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: we so sorry our mistake type of thing.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: But to have a.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Complete meltdown, and now you want to cancel and throw
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: away the entire cake and wrap the party, and your
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: child is watching this.
• 5:18
  Speaker 7: I mean, we're still throwing tomatoes at the bakery owner,
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: just not in front of the kids exactly.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Oh one one eight thirty eight nine four seven. As
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: a parent, what would you do if the bakery missed.
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: Your child's cake up like this? Right? And also, you.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Don't have the luxury of time. There's the luxurary to
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: go to another bakery, you know.
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well that's the conundrum here.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's like what moment, what are you using this
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: moment to do in your household?
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Exactly?
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  Speaker 3: And I mean I can you may think that we
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: are all up against anyone wants to complain, but I
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: want to hear you out.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: I'm just relieved.
• 5:54
  Speaker 7: I grew up in the era and bloom contained where
• 5:55
  Speaker 7: your cake had a generic happy birthday and came in
• 5:58
  Speaker 7: a Castle Laga box And that's what you.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Took to all those flat boxes. No one was off, dude, because.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: You know what, the cakes, the cakes, the cakes, the cake.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Those kids won't care. No one is looking to.
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Be like, hey, it's cherry with the J, not with
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: the G.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, I just really
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: think we we.
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: Over what making mountains out of mole hills?
• 6:21
  Speaker 6: Is?
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: That?
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: Is that the saying?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: That's it?
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: And this is why we're raising people who like strive
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: for this perfection And you can strive for perfection, but
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I think this is one of those things that do
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: not matter. And I suppose that's the question I'm asking you.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: This is my opinion.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, is this is this worth a mount on the
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: cake side.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Does it matter?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: Does it matter?
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: Oh one one eighty eight thirty eight nine four seven.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: Lolato's got us talking here on a Thursday morning, Send
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: us a voice noted zero eight four double zero double
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: zero nine four seven.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: Does it matter any? So?
• 6:55
  Speaker 6: I ordered a cake for Couma's birth day at some bakery,
• 6:59
  Speaker 6: but I ordered it over the phone. And I went
• 7:02
  Speaker 6: to go collect this cake, and they spelled his name wrong.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: They refuse to fix that cake.
• 7:09
  Speaker 6: Surely I would not spell my taild's name wrong over
• 7:12
  Speaker 6: the phone or anywhere else. They are so, I'll never
• 7:16
  Speaker 6: use this speakery. They are, I'm yeah. So I ordered
• 7:23
  Speaker 6: a cake for Comma's birthday at some bakery, but I
• 7:26
  Speaker 6: ordered it over the phone, and I went to go
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: collect this cake, and they spelled his name wrong.
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: They refused to fix that cake.
• 7:37
  Speaker 6: Surely I would not spell my tild's name wrong over
• 7:40
  Speaker 6: the phone or anywhere else. They are so slack, I
• 7:43
  Speaker 6: will never use this bakery. They are, I'm yeah.
• 7:48
  Speaker 8: This thing where customers will call or send a voice
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  Speaker 8: note instead of writing what they want for their birthday cake.
• 7:57
  Speaker 8: Such things, such mistakes can happen because I'm I mean,
• 8:00
  Speaker 8: we don't know how to spell each mail's name.
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  Speaker 3: No, guys, then what is going to become of the
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: world If we keep saying it's not the first time
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: a mistake it No, people must do their job right,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: and that's just what it is.
• 8:11
  Speaker 6: Well, if it's just the name, but the cake is
• 8:14
  Speaker 6: not a disaster, then I don't think I would be upset.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: My friend has a daughter named Peyton.
• 8:19
  Speaker 8: For her birthday, she ordered a cake and she instructed
• 8:22
  Speaker 8: them to please write Peyton in the middle.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: They wrote out the words Peyton in the middle on
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: the cake. She's the new malcome in the middle. We
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: saw all her Peyton in the middle.
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: And now we have a story for the rest of
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: our lives.
• 8:43
  Speaker 7: The lady who said, if we write everything off, because
• 8:45
  Speaker 7: you know, everyone makes a mistake, what's going to be
• 8:48
  Speaker 7: kind of the world?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: I hear you, sus Well, the standard's gonna go. Good morning,
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: guts a incenturion.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Annel in the club.
• 8:57
  Speaker 9: Good morning in the club. How are you, Cagi, I'm
• 9:01
  Speaker 9: all thanks about you.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Talk to us.
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: What do you think about this, this mistake that the
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: bakery made.
• 9:06
  Speaker 9: Yeah, look for me. A name is something that is
• 9:10
  Speaker 9: of paramount important because if you're identity and how easily,
• 9:14
  Speaker 9: especially when you're talking about kits and stuff. Can that
• 9:16
  Speaker 9: turn into a bully. Somebody might come and say that
• 9:19
  Speaker 9: maybe you saw somebody's ky because it's not about the
• 9:22
  Speaker 9: right way. But then the cluster of the matter for
• 9:25
  Speaker 9: me is the identity, because that is something that you
• 9:27
  Speaker 9: cat and it should be valued. I think their cakeshop
• 9:30
  Speaker 9: should have tried to make an amense. I mean if
• 9:33
  Speaker 9: we say, like it's a mistake, for instance, and we're
• 9:35
  Speaker 9: just gonna move on nobody. Let's let's say you use
• 9:38
  Speaker 9: that tribal agency, for instance, to book a flight somewhere,
• 9:41
  Speaker 9: and then they get your idea number, just that one
• 9:43
  Speaker 9: number of you think at the flight they're when I say,
• 9:45
  Speaker 9: I just and if they get on the flight, no,
• 9:48
  Speaker 9: you're going to have to suffer. And what if you're
• 9:49
  Speaker 9: missing a meeting. So a name, for me is something
• 9:53
  Speaker 9: of high value that you've got to write to be
• 9:56
  Speaker 9: upset about it, but for the rest of your life
• 9:59
  Speaker 9: as well. But it's something that tend be six. Let
• 10:02
  Speaker 9: it be six instead of saying it's just a small mistake,
• 10:05
  Speaker 9: and then it's not a small mistake. But it's my identity.
• 10:08
  Speaker 9: This is it's me that's not that's me. It's attached
• 10:11
  Speaker 9: to me and it should be right.
• 10:13
  Speaker 7: Oh, you must hate working in corporate where you'll type
• 10:15
  Speaker 7: your name out in full and someone will still call
• 10:18
  Speaker 7: you the wrong thing when they reply. Excuse me, you
• 10:20
  Speaker 7: typed it in full and you send it from the
• 10:22
  Speaker 7: email address that says.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: At seven. Oh, try ten belition, and then they'll still
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: come back.
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: But now that is I absolutely agree with you, right,
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: And I also believe that you know, two things can
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: be right at the same time. Because a child's identity
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: is their name.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Absolutely correct.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: But if a cake is going to crumble your child's identity,
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: you as a parent haven't done enough to solidify your
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: child within their identity, right.
• 10:49
  Speaker 9: I hear that, But how old are they are? They
• 10:51
  Speaker 9: emotionally strongly because it's a child at the end of
• 10:54
  Speaker 9: the day, it's not an adult that can just try
• 10:58
  Speaker 9: and get over it. It's a child, and you can
• 11:00
  Speaker 9: easily berate that child by that. What you perceived to
• 11:04
  Speaker 9: be to be smaller than children are not the same.
• 11:07
  Speaker 9: I mean I grew up playing in sports and they
• 11:09
  Speaker 9: spelled my surname Maubert daily and they spelled it in
• 11:12
  Speaker 9: all different way. They ll make a gisu and all
• 11:16
  Speaker 9: of that. But there's other people that you know, they
• 11:20
  Speaker 9: actually they take it to hat because they're not felt
• 11:23
  Speaker 9: the fame. So we mustn't take it for granted that
• 11:26
  Speaker 9: after a child, you must just you know, they'll they'll
• 11:29
  Speaker 9: get over it and all of that. It doesn't happen.
• 11:31
  Speaker 9: It might be a scarf for the future and lack
• 11:33
  Speaker 9: of pay. If it tends into bullying, it could just know.
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: But that's the bullying thing is weird for me, because now,
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: why must we do things so that our children don't
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: get bullied as opposed to as addressing that the bullies do?
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
• 11:47
  Speaker 9: You need to control the controllable.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: But and there we go as much as and this
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: is as a parent, you say, hey, broh me. I
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: tried everything I could. I told those people this is
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: your name and this is what they spelled. Next time,
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: we'll definitely make sure that we write it out, we
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: send it in an email or takes or whatever. But
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: at this point in time, I gave your name over
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: the phone, so one of us made a mistake. They
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: say it's me, I say it's them. You explain that
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: to your child.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: You luck.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: But at the end of the day. Do not we
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: have here a cake, let's ehat the cake.
• 12:18
  Speaker 9: I think we're expecting too much of a child to
• 12:20
  Speaker 9: just think that they can understand.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Yes, but that's why you are parents. That's why you're there.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: That's why you're there.
• 12:27
  Speaker 9: I'm a parent, but I'm not dead. So I've gone
• 12:30
  Speaker 9: through lives and I've seen things, and I understand there's
• 12:33
  Speaker 9: some things that I can handle it in a certain way.
• 12:35
  Speaker 9: I'm a parent, yes, yes.
• 12:36
  Speaker 3: But your children, your children will be alarmed if you
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: are alarmed, if you the way you you must see
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: monkey see monkey do if you if you have a
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: meltdown over something, your child is going to learn to
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: have a meltdown over those things. If you show them that, oh,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: there are mistakes in the world, we're gonna take this
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: within our stride.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Are they wrong? Absolutely? You know. Do you have a
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: right to take this up with them? Absolutely?
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: But even your behavior in how you take it up
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: and how you react to add to adversity is what
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: your kids are going to grow up to do. You
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: can't be like a militant about everything that goes wrong
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: in your child's life, because you're going to raise children.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: Who are militant about everything.
• 13:17
  Speaker 9: So it's not everything. It is this particular things, not
• 13:20
  Speaker 9: like identities. You spoke about Manchester city and Manchester na
• 13:23
  Speaker 9: It is fine. It's not my name Manchester natter or
• 13:25
  Speaker 9: Manchester City. It's not my name. It's not my identity.
• 13:28
  Speaker 9: It's not something that is engraved in meat up over thing.
• 13:31
  Speaker 9: But my name is. So in terms of when you're
• 13:33
  Speaker 9: talking about obviously not about everything else, I'm not going
• 13:37
  Speaker 9: to go in front of my child and the people
• 13:39
  Speaker 9: don't going to use not the name wrong or whatever
• 13:41
  Speaker 9: the case is. It is something that we always need
• 13:43
  Speaker 9: to protect our children where they can. So I will
• 13:46
  Speaker 9: not address it and be agro and everything in front
• 13:49
  Speaker 9: of the child because they don't cause more damage than
• 13:51
  Speaker 9: what they initial.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: The name is.
• 13:54
  Speaker 9: But with them to understand, and it's a matter of
• 13:57
  Speaker 9: and sometimes such things can be fixed. And I'm saying
• 14:00
  Speaker 9: if they can say like sorry, we made a mistakes
• 14:03
  Speaker 9: and we might not have time to fix it, then
• 14:06
  Speaker 9: it's an understandable because now we're having an admicable type
• 14:09
  Speaker 9: of a conversation instead of now you're just not going
• 14:11
  Speaker 9: to fix the type of repersent. The reaction from them
• 14:14
  Speaker 9: also is important because I need them to understand that
• 14:17
  Speaker 9: it's not right. If somebody goes whatever, then the next
• 14:19
  Speaker 9: person of the but they think it's right.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so this is the thing.
• 14:25
  Speaker 4: And look, I get what you're saying about the name
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: and the identity, right in this situation, I think there
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: wasn't time to change the case they picked it up
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: on the way to school or whatever the case is.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: But the I think all of us must be careful.
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: And I've experienced this in my own life. It happened
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: to you, right, So yes, name and identity is important,
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: but to be careful to to because it happened to you,
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: it's going to happen to your child, right. And I've
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: seen a lot of parents who sort of their fears
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: parenting backwards.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Yeah, their fears inform how they look forward. If it
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: was me, I would have said, ah, look they spelled
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: your name wrong. Let's take a knife name off the cake.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: I just feel like it's not the end of the world.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: And and and your points about identity are valid, very
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: but identity is formed at home, and it is the
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: foundation is unshakable from home. So by the time you're
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: having these identity things, your child should be unshakable in
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: knowing that are but my name is Anne. That you
• 15:24
  Speaker 3: know that was a mistake and your child should be
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: able to see that people.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: Are making mistakes. When people go out.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Of their way tombarrassed to belittle your identity, that's way.
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: That's a different case. But in mis you.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: Know, in mistakes, you have to we have to raise
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: our kids to understand that other people make mistakes, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: other people's mistakes are not more heinous than the ones
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: that we are going to make ourselves. Because let me
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: tell you something about your child, They themselves, one day
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: in their lives, is going to spell somebody's name wrong,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: and then must they crucify themselves until they go to
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: bed that night, because that's how they were taught, that's
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: how they were raised that when you get someone's name wrong,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: you're punishable by this.
• 16:03
  Speaker 9: Yeah, but I think they expecting too much our children
• 16:05
  Speaker 9: to just be okay with it, like I said, when
• 16:07
  Speaker 9: it happened to me it was or whatever type of
• 16:10
  Speaker 9: the take okay.
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: But Jack, so how long how long is your child
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: allowed to be angry about their name beings about wrong?
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: But when you say you're expecting too much for your
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: child to say, it's just the thing. How long are
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: they allowed to sit and be upset that their name
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: was done wrong? Ten minutes, ten hours.
• 16:26
  Speaker 9: The first thing is I protect them in terms of
• 16:29
  Speaker 9: doing that when I go speak to so that the
• 16:31
  Speaker 9: issue here it's not really between me and my child
• 16:34
  Speaker 9: and giving her the cake and the cake and she
• 16:37
  Speaker 9: sees it, and what iman the case is when I
• 16:39
  Speaker 9: get that, the difference is going to be very very
• 16:41
  Speaker 9: different than whatever. So my thing is allowing the people
• 16:46
  Speaker 9: to make a mistakes to think that it's right when
• 16:48
  Speaker 9: we get home, you come back.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Now you're saying lots of things.
• 16:51
  Speaker 9: Now, no, no, no, no, But remember the story of her
• 16:55
  Speaker 9: is actually I'm upset with the people. Isn't that what
• 16:58
  Speaker 9: she said?
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: A January baby?
• 17:01
  Speaker 8: All?
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I took to school with pray on.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: And now we're going in circles every time we say
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: something got you, some moves got with you?
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: Hi got this on egg?
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: We must must make the same thing, even me, I
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: don't even know what I'm saying anymore. Now, look, bang,
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: you're a cake now, guys.
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: Well, so I ordered a cake for Coma's birthday and
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: some bakery, but I ordered it over the phone, and
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: I went to go collect this cake and they spelled
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: his name wrong.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: They refused to fix that cake.
• 17:42
  Speaker 6: Sutinly, I would not spell my child's name wrong over
• 17:45
  Speaker 6: the phone or anywhere else. They are so I never
• 17:48
  Speaker 6: used to speakery, they are.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I'm yeah, cleto.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: It's okay to throw your toys around, to go fr bag,
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: but to live the whole cake it's very wrong.
• 18:02
  Speaker 6: I get what you mean with teaching the child not
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: to be mad or throw ten trums over everything, but
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: with my money, that's where I drew the line.
• 18:10
  Speaker 7: I wouldn't care if they spelled my child's name wrong,
• 18:13
  Speaker 7: but what would make a difference for me is how
• 18:16
  Speaker 7: they respond when I let them know that the name
• 18:18
  Speaker 7: is spelled wrong.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: Guys, is no issue if you the spelling is wrong.
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: As long as I'm getting a discount, it's okay. The
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: person who who made that cake actually needs to have
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: the ears the wax removed out of the ears because
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: they seem to have made the mistake.
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: Is the I think for you guys to say no,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: just get over it until you order a nine four
• 18:40
  Speaker 3: seven cake and then it comes out saying nine seven forms.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: My friend. I don't think you I don't think I
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: don't think you know how unserious we are. We would, right,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: we would.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Change the jingles on the station for a week.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Brah and be like nine seven far, Hey, what's up?
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: You're a nine seven four right out of right?
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: A mind nine seven for what for fun? No, no, guys,
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: you know what it is.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying that a mistake hasn't been made here
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: in yet, But it's like I was saying now to
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: my friend Rose, because she was talking about like her
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: cricket team and they continuously spell her one of the
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: kids names on the team wrong. The coaches, everyone, district everyone.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: A mistake is a mistake only once. After that you
• 19:33
  Speaker 3: are you Now you're.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Just being flippant type of thing.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: So I'm always look at the situation. Is this a
• 19:39
  Speaker 3: recurring thing? Is this person choosing, you know, to be
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: to belittle you by missing up your name and spelling
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: it wrong.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: On all the time. Then put them gloves on and
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: let's go.
• 19:50
  Speaker 3: But you allow everybody to make one mistake and then
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: after that it's done. For instance, if Kumo's mom is
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: gonna use that bakery again, they know her now, do
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying? In fact, even themselves that
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: bakery should start towards changing their systems. Where hey guys,
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: we've made this mistake once before, it wasn't grand from
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: now on, please, Yes, we can take your order over
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: the phone, but the messaging or whatever's going on the
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: on the cake, send it with a whiteesapp or write
• 20:15
  Speaker 3: it down or things like that.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, look, and I think we've got to separate a
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: few issues. Yeah, the bakery messed up the name, correct, right.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: I agree that you can hold the bakery accountable and
• 20:23
  Speaker 4: say this is not right. But we're talking about what
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: happens with that cake and with your child. So what's
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: the step after that? And to to your point by
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: our friend rise, when the child's name is written wrong
• 20:35
  Speaker 4: all the time, continuously, week in week out, you're obviously
• 20:38
  Speaker 4: going to take it up with that person. But what
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: are we what are we teaching our child?
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: So stand up, say your name is wrong. If they continue,
• 20:47
  Speaker 4: what are you going to do? It's outside your control
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: right there? You are you going to lose your mind
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: every single time? Are you going to go this anti CONTs?
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: But people are going to get things wrong in your life? No,
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: how do you handle it?
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: There's no ways your cricket which just getting your name
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: right that week. Wow, guys, know we're fighting. Go go
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: do something else. You're the one who chose to work
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: with people.
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Well, I agree. If you're writing it down every week
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: is written wrong every week? Every week?
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: Ohet friend, good morning.
• 21:15
  Speaker 10: Good morning guys.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: How are you guys? Day? We're good, Teo? What do
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: you think about this?
• 21:19
  Speaker 10: First time on radio?
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: Welcome, Welcome to nine seven four.
• 21:28
  Speaker 10: So, guys, I'm saying, listen, let's.
• 21:30
  Speaker 11: Take the cake.
• 21:31
  Speaker 10: How don't I care care? That's how we'll get over it.
• 21:34
  Speaker 10: Those are the children we're kind. We are supposed to
• 21:37
  Speaker 10: actually raise kids that don't get affected by little things right,
• 21:42
  Speaker 10: because there are so many problems, so much can go
• 21:44
  Speaker 10: wrong in corporate I get an email, Hi Teple, you
• 21:48
  Speaker 10: saw my previous emails at tehole with the g okay,
• 21:52
  Speaker 10: let's keep it moving and who cares? Kids don't care
• 21:55
  Speaker 10: because don't care.
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: Here's the thing, right, you say you incorporate. Now now
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: we're gonna forget what the body of the email was saying,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: and we.
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: Must all stop and call it yes, like Hi, Hi Temple,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: it's actually tech. Listen about what you were saying. No no,
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: no no no no no no no no then you
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: carry it on.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: If that person insists, then on calling new Taple. Now
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: there's a transgression there, and somebody is trying to bait you.
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: But somebody made a mistake once with your name. I'm
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: gonna check you on it, like, actually, that's not my name.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: This is my name. But now now we're getting distracted.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: Now we're forgetting that Coca Cola wants ten thousand bottles
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: by the end of today. Is Coca Cola gonna get
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: ten thousand bottles by the end of the day. If
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: we're all stopping to be upset that you spelt my
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: name wrong once for the first time in your life,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: do you know what I'm saying?
• 22:43
  Speaker 10: Exactly? Exactly? So they have to live and kids in
• 22:47
  Speaker 10: school don't care. A new nickname might come.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: From it, a cooler nickname even, And guys, let's get
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: cake and don't take photos.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I think that's my other solution.
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: Just take take the photo strategically, because the way we
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: don't miss see your name Melane and Alberton morning guys.
• 23:05
  Speaker 11: First time.
• 23:06
  Speaker 10: I'm ready, h that's what it was, Okay, And.
• 23:13
  Speaker 11: Listen, I don't think the issues the cake here. I
• 23:16
  Speaker 11: think we are making this small but it's not as
• 23:19
  Speaker 11: small as it seem. That bakery needs to take accountability.
• 23:23
  Speaker 11: People make mistakes and they think they can get away
• 23:26
  Speaker 11: with it. She told them that they spell the name wrong,
• 23:29
  Speaker 11: they must do something about it. Ecclease be nice or something.
• 23:35
  Speaker 11: Because I had my baby's name spelled wrong on a cake.
• 23:39
  Speaker 7: I was fine.
• 23:40
  Speaker 11: My husband was like, you know what, let's.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Just let her know that.
• 23:43
  Speaker 11: This name is missed. It was actually missing. The lady
• 23:46
  Speaker 11: came in the morning to fix it before the party
• 23:49
  Speaker 11: starts it, you know, So yeah it was. And I
• 23:53
  Speaker 11: didn't live and think. But she He was like, we
• 23:55
  Speaker 11: are paying for service. We need to get the service
• 23:58
  Speaker 11: that we paid for.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: They they were they are Shorty Bakery. Do you know
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: how I knew they were Shorty domelling?
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: The fact that they take names over the phone. Yeah
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: to me already. They must be very.
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: Good at making cakes, but when it comes to the admin,
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: they're not great at it.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: Because even a florist will will will insist. Okay, I
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: get it.
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: Can you WhatsApp me the message because imagine if florist
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: gets a message wrong, you know what I'm saying. So
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: that's when I really knew there were shorty one. But
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: I think to our to our discussion, and I think
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: you'll agree. You know, here we we we're discussing showing
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: our kids that mistakes are gonna happen. You're gonna make mistakes,
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: Other people are gonna make mistakes. How are we raising
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: our kids to deal with, you know, speed bumps along
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: the way where now the entire party has to have
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: a warble purely because the cake was wrong. So now
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: you're throwing out everything because the cake is wrong, and
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: then that's that's the memory your child has of this,
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: of this birthday. Yeah, no, my tenth birthday, all I
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: remember the cake had the wrong name.
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: You just want to equip your kids with.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: You know, rewiring, you know, yeah, what is the what
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: is the reason for what we're doing here? We're celebrating you,
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: crating you and the name on the If someone's got
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: your name on the cake wrong, that doesn't influence how
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: we celebrate to you.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: We're just having fun.
• 25:17
  Speaker 11: Yeah, no, it doesn't.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: How old was your baby when they got the name wrong?
• 25:21
  Speaker 11: She was one. She didn't even care for the world exactly.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: I think your husband was the one was most upset
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: because it's the first bad day.
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: It's a memory, and they get the name.
• 25:32
  Speaker 11: My husband is the guy that calls the manager. If
• 25:35
  Speaker 11: we go to a restaurant a minute later, they haven't
• 25:38
  Speaker 11: attended to us. He wants to talk to the manager.
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: I'm with your husband because service is free. That's how
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: I always look at it. Good service is free. Bad
• 25:48
  Speaker 4: service is also free. So that's the option of the place.
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: But I love that you guys are like, ah, let's
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: we're going to all them accountable. Then then they can
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: fixed it.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: But it's not going to change.
• 25:57
  Speaker 4: How are we going to celebrate with the cakes right about.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: Our child's first birthday? And the first birthday is a
• 26:02
  Speaker 3: big thing. So this is not a mistake that you wanted.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: But okay, fine, okay, it's here now, but okay, dig
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: back for exactly five minutes and then you meet.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: Now stack to making your morning and on nine four seven,