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Bonus IMPROV - Listen, I've Seen a Hundred Smiles · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends bonus improv joke we please get a suggestion
• 0:22
  your suggestion is mature
• 0:24
  mature
• 0:26
  mature
• 0:27
  mature
• 0:29
  I think
• 0:32
  the
• 0:33
  term mature
• 0:36
  like referring to old people
• 0:38
  or older like
• 0:40
  geriatrics yeah
• 0:41
  I think that's
• 0:44
  worse than just saying old
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  I don't know why
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  the euphemism
• 0:50
  I don't know.
• 0:53
  It sounds condescending to me.
• 0:55
  When I hear mature, I think of
• 0:58
  like how when I was a kid,
• 1:00
  I was always considered more mature than other kids.
• 1:04
  So in my mind, it's more of a mental thing.
• 1:07
  Yeah.
• 1:08
  I picture you as like a kid in a little suit.
• 1:12
  Did you wear suits a lot?
• 1:13
  Maybe you're just picturing my communion photo.
• 1:15
  Where you were.
• 1:16
  No, I mean, you're so well-dressed now.
• 1:19
  I figure you probably always were very well dressed.
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  Not the case.
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  I have school photos of me in like Looney Tunes shirts.
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  T-shirts.
• 1:27
  I think whenever my dad was in control, all bets were off.
• 1:30
  Yeah.
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  When I had my own like ownership of myself.
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  And I think my junior year school picture, I was in an In-N-Out t-shirt.
• 1:41
  Oh, okay.
• 1:43
  Which sucks because it was the year I was the hottest.
• 1:45
  Seventh grade?
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  Junior.
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  Junior.
• 1:48
  Oh, junior.
• 1:49
  Why did I process that at seventh grade?
• 1:54
  That's better.
• 1:55
  Yeah.
• 1:55
  Much better.
• 1:56
  I don't know why I was...
• 1:57
  I would not be referring to myself as hot at 12.
• 2:02
  Whoa.
• 2:03
  Whoops.
• 2:03
  Whoops-a-daisies.
• 2:07
  When were you the hottest?
• 2:09
  Besides now.
• 2:09
  I was going to say right now.
• 2:11
  And then...
• 2:12
  No, no, now.
• 2:13
  Now.
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  Now is it now?
• 2:14
  No.
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  Refresh now.
• 2:17
  I don't know.
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  I mean, probably sometime in my 20s.
• 2:24
  That's probably 20, 21.
• 2:27
  Nice.
• 2:27
  Yeah.
• 2:28
  Show me some pictures later.
• 2:30
  I don really think I have any You were too busy living in your hotness Yeah Yeah I get it And I not really a big picture person I don care for it I don like being photographed either Yeah And now improv
• 2:49
  Caitlin, step over here, please.
• 2:50
  Yeah.
• 2:51
  All right.
• 2:53
  I don't know why you're being so difficult with all the other teachers,
• 2:56
  but we have to get this yearbook closed down.
• 2:59
  so just stand over there on the spot
• 3:01
  I'm going to be taking your picture today. No.
• 3:03
  Yes. No.
• 3:05
  No, I'm sorry.
• 3:07
  Just can't you put a not
• 3:08
  not pictured thing where my
• 3:11
  spot should be in your book?
• 3:12
  Any other year we could but you know that
• 3:15
  recent legislation has passed that says
• 3:17
  every student must be photographed and published.
• 3:19
  I can't do anything about this. Damn my
• 3:21
  congressman. Why did he vote for that?
• 3:23
  Write a letter. Now stand over on the X.
• 3:25
  No, no, don't make me do it.
• 3:27
  I'm making you do it.
• 3:28
  stand there now all right you could make me stand there but it doesn't doesn't mean that
• 3:36
  you're gonna get the photo that you want i don't care as long as you're smiling i've done my job
• 3:42
  okay well just don't make me all right fine all right and smile okay i'm smiling no you're not
• 3:52
  yeah i am this is how i smile don't judge how i smile listen i've seen a hundred smiles that's
• 3:58
  not a smile here oh no no look at the birdie no tweet tweet hey look at me oops i farted
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  no oops i don't like scatological humor okay let me check the book hold on um
• 4:14
  smile
• 4:17
  Ha ha!
• 4:23
  Joke's on you.
• 4:26
  Why?
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  I just held up a fake face in front of me with a smile on it.
• 4:31
  That's not my real face.
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  Ha ha!
• 4:33
  I don't know why this has been a joke to you.
• 4:35
  That was the last click on my camera.
• 4:38
  I'm gonna get fired over this.
• 4:40
  Well, you shouldn't try to make me.
• 4:42
  I had to.
• 4:44
  No, you didn't.
• 4:45
  If a law is unjust, you could break that law.
• 4:49
  That is-
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  This is the hill you're going to die on?
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  I can't feed my family now.
• 4:53
  Okay, you don't- you're not out of a job yet.
• 4:57
  Once they see this picture, I'm over.
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  I'm done.
• 5:01
  Well, there's still a way we could prevent your firing.
• 5:05
  Oh, now you want to help?
• 5:06
  Okay, what's your big idea?
• 5:07
  Well you didn want to help me Maybe I shouldn try and help you It wasn about what I wanted It wasn about what I wanted either That for damn sure Great When a rock meets a hard place
• 5:18
  All right.
• 5:22
  How are we going to...
• 5:24
  You tell me, idea girl.
• 5:25
  127 hours our way out of this...
• 5:27
  I don't know.
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  ...rocking hard place.
• 5:30
  I'm willing to try, but what's your idea?
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  All right.
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  I'm just going to...
• 5:37
  I know what I have to do.
• 5:39
  Oh god, I'm really, really taking one for the team here, though.
• 5:43
  Well, this is your fault.
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  I'm going to have to strap this fake face to my head and walk around with it for two or three months.
• 5:55
  So no one knows it was...
• 5:57
  No one thinks it's a fake. They just think that's what I look like.
• 6:00
  This could work.
• 6:02
  Okay.
• 6:04
  Alright. Here goes nothing.
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  okay thank you cut to the principal's office
• 6:10
  you wanted to see me principal gordon i did i did okay we had a complaint from a librarian
• 6:22
  who overheard a troubling conversation between you and a photographer principal gordon i don't
• 6:32
  know what you're talking about was was it is was it because i have a hard time smiling that's really
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  my only problem but as you can see i'm always smiling now i figured it out there be some
• 6:43
  disturbing allegations that's your face not be your face i see i see
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  Principal Gordon
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  just
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  I assure you it's my real face
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  put your hand really close
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  but don't actually touch it
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  and then you'll see
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  it's my real face
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  okay
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  oh see
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  close
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  but doesn't it feel like you're close
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  to a real face
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  you're on thin eyes
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  I'm going to be watching.
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  You've done a great job since coming here from the bayou.
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  Cut to my parents' house.
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  My house.
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  Honey.
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  Hey, Mom.
• 7:40
  What's on your face?
• 7:42
  It's just my face, Mom.
• 7:43
  What are you talking about?
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  Honey what on your face What are you wearing What is that No I wearing my face Paul get in here Mom this is so insulting Do you not know what I look like I know your face I birthed your face
• 7:54
  Yes, you birthed this.
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  This smiling monstrosity.
• 7:58
  What is it?
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  Are you wearing cardboard?
• 8:00
  No, this is...
• 8:01
  Paul!
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  I'm wearing skin.
• 8:03
  You're lying.
• 8:04
  Get back down here, young lady.
• 8:06
  Honey, don't lie to your mother.
• 8:08
  No, I'm wearing...
• 8:10
  I'm wearing my own real face.
• 8:13
  This is my real smile.
• 8:14
  Okay, then you won't mind if I try and take it off?
• 8:17
  Just, no, you can't.
• 8:18
  Put your hand close to, but not touching my face.
• 8:21
  Who would agree to these terms?
• 8:23
  Well, Principal Gordon was very accommodating.
• 8:25
  Slap yourself.
• 8:29
  Why is your face swinging as though on a hinge?
• 8:32
  Mom.
• 8:32
  Paul!
• 8:33
  No, mom, mom.
• 8:35
  It's hinge face.
• 8:36
  It's the new trend.
• 8:37
  All the kids are doing it at school.
• 8:39
  Just trust me on this one, okay?
• 8:40
  I worked too hard to have this argument.
• 8:42
  You're right.
• 8:43
  if that's the face you want to have have it
• 8:45
  cut to
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  yearbook day
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  with the photographer
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  oh say
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  hey okay
• 8:57
  I think I've done
• 8:58
  I think I've done all I can do I don't
• 9:01
  think everyone's buying it I can't thank
• 9:03
  you enough god you I mean you're still
• 9:05
  employed right yeah no one's fired me
• 9:07
  the picture looks great
• 9:08
  I don't want to apologize for the way I talked to you
• 9:11
  I know that the principal gave you a hard time
• 9:14
  but
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  yeah
• 9:15
  my mom was easy
• 9:17
  it was the principal
• 9:18
  he's got that
• 9:20
  Louisiana sense of justice
• 9:22
  yeah he's out to get you
• 9:25
  yeah he is
• 9:26
  but I think we dodged a bullet
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  I just want to thank you
• 9:29
  in another world we could be friends
• 9:33
  why not this world
• 9:35
  the age gap
• 9:36
  oh that's fair
• 9:37
  yeah so uh yeah shaking my hands it has been a pleasure yep um let's not do this again
• 9:46
  all right well can i finally take this monstrosity off yeah i think you'll be fine
• 9:50
  okay good oh oh what in the hell i knew it principal gordon you're just burning and you're
• 10:02
  fired.
• 10:04
  No! That's
• 10:06
  Gator Jousters.
• 10:09
  Unseen.