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Transcript

301-Healing the Hustle: Mental Health Tools for the Spiritually Stuck · Stuck No More Voices

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you have a voice and you know it, right?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: But these nagging questions.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: What if no one understands me?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: What if it's worth spending time to really get my voice honed down?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Will it will it really matter?
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Questions like that I can relate to.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I'm so excited about our guests.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: I picked the pieces up with my mental therapist, and I'm so excited to introduce you, Britt.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: We just got connected on Michelle Tufford's No More Dry Ground.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: And Britt, the minute you showed up, it's like, ooh, we gotta listen to this girl.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this is Britt Skinner.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: She's a licensed clinical social worker and therapist.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: She specials in a lot of things.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Let me just say that.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: But we're gonna touch on how she touches on anxiety and depression, if that's all right, Britt.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: But first, Britt, welcome to the Sec No More Voices podcast.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for having me here.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to talk to your you and your audience today and just like be of service, really.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because, you know, I thought I like to just dive right in when people are thinking about their voice.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: And let me ask you this sometimes your voice really is your identity.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Do you agree with that?
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I I think more often than not, it points to how we actually view ourselves.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Ooh, wow.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, that relates to identity, the more you know who you are.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, how you view yourself.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, when someone says, Is it worth spending time to work on my voice?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say to them about that?
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if it's my therapy room, I'm gonna ask a lot of questions.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna want to, I'm really gonna want to know what the thoughts are, what the beliefs are behind that.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I would challenge your audience to actually ask themselves that.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why do I think that?
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Or where is that coming from?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Or have I learned that from somewhere else or someone else?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but at the end of the day, and what I could say without asking those questions now is absolutely it is worth it.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: You have a message, you have a God-given testimony and experience, you are here on purpose for a purpose.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And when you silence yourself, the enemy wins.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_01: I, you know, I asked God after my husband passed, because I was always fighting for my voice, Britt.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Literally, I had retired from radio of all things, and then had this span of time where I just knew that I knew that I had a voice.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I would I first started out in the closet with my podcast and then realized I got to get out of the closet.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I can tell you some of the feelings I was feeling, which is very much like, is it worth it?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: It is worth it, but can I tell you what God said to me why I was able to fight?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And you can speak to this, okay?
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: I it was about a year after, and I was looking back on those last few years were really tough, although I stayed in there and I said, God, why was I consistently fighting for my voice?
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_01: If it wasn't YouTube, it was Facebook live back then, it was my podcast.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what God said?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: He said, You were fighting and winning your voice because you were creating the way God creates.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: So, what do you do you have anything thoughts to that?
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're obviously a biblical therapist.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to hear a little more.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that mean to you when he said that to you?
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what happened in your spirit?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: What happened in your soul?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's probably a good question because I didn't really fill in the blanks.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: When I was struggling, I journaled a lot and journaled a lot, and then I can't explain it to you, but it wasn't conjured up.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: But there were some days I was so overwhelmed, and then I'd hear like the I love John 15, and I'd hear God say, Listen to the vine dresser.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: And then I started to write these things down, what he was telling me.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then, of course, afterwards, the good journalist cleaning them up.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I I released them on Facebook just like, oh, I wonder what if this if anyone can relate to this.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why that's how I was creating the way God created.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was listening to the vine dresser, and he was speaking to me in my spirit by the spirit, just like you know, as simple phrases, and but I made them into paragraphs and wrote three devotionals.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I think God was saying.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: You were creating the way God created.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I think another thing, can I say, whenever I went live, I did not speak from my wounds.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: No one would ever know.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And one thing I I teach in the Stuch No More Voices podcast is you we teach from the overflow.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: So I think on an early age, early time in the marriage, I was learning to speak from the overflow.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: I just didn't realize I had words from the overflow.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: So does that give you a little more clues?
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think someone's listening, they can relate to that.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I think that God is always talking if we slow down and listen, that God created in process, which is what I'm hearing when I hear your story.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: It was a process, it wasn't.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just get that very clear.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I also know that he heals in process.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And that's a lot of my work too, is helping people in process.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I think, you know, I go back to scripture where it says more than you could ask or imagine.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: That you'd give me more than you could ask or imagine.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that when people are praying for healing, when they're praying to get out of these situations or they're praying for for whatever that stuck piece is that is stopping them from sharing their voice, they're really like digging in and they're hoping for like that one thing.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But when God is in process, he is giving you more than you could ask or imagine.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: He's healing parts of you that you don't even know are broken.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times when I think of process, I think about that's your relationship with God, a walking with him.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So the process of step by step.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: So you're gonna have to rip off, let's take number one, anxiety.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_01: How would you walk someone ripping off that anxiety?
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_01: And and just, I guess a lot of it is them talking to you.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: But what would be some key bolder points for that?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: So really, my approach is very similar in a lot of ways when I start with someone, whether it's anxiety, depression, or codependence is the other piece.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: Although codependence can kind of fit under anxiety because a lot of times, really what codependence is is anxiety, but in relationship form.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So looking to others to know that you're okay, or trying to like keep the status quo, feeling like everything falls on you, like you have to like be the savior in a lot of situations.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: But there really is like almost like a sub sub-add-on to anxiety.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Some people experience it, some people don't.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: But that those are the three places that I really dive deeply in and have spent years in my career uh refining my skills there.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: But what I ultimately come back to is what scripture says in 2 Corinthians 10, 5.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it says, take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of what I teach in my course, mindset miracles and in the therapy room one-on-one with people is like, okay, well, how do I actually take a thought captive?
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: How do I make it obedient to Christ?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: And then how do I really blend that also with like neuroscience and like your loving?
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it shows like so Proverbs talks a lot about neuroscience when you understand neuroscience and you read proverbs, like, oh, it makes total sense.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, God has been saying this from the beginning, but science is just catching up, you know?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, okay, now we put our fingers on it outside of scripture.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that is actually a lot of of my work, is it's evidence-based.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a licensed therapist, I am trained in this, I know what I'm talking about.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: There's research to back it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: But really, at the end of the day, scripture's been saying it the whole time before we had this research.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that because my therapist is heavy on neuroscience.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: She's a godly woman, but I I think when people understand the rewiring is just renewing, the deconstruction is just like maybe confession.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: You said something really interesting that I've never really quite thought.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: You said uh the the word codependence.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: So I see, as you say that, immediately in my mind, I'm the one trying to keep the peace, codependence.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not I'm I'm not expecting responsibility on the other side.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: I just took the responsibility.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I didn't, you know, that's just mind-boggling how that codependence does interlock with anxiety because I walked on eggshells for most of my life.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: And that's codependence.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate you bringing that down because I think a lot of people, you know, it's hard.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: I get a lot of emails and messages from people who maybe are locked in a bad marriage controlling, abusive.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: And the number one thing is, you know, find your lane.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Don't give up, you know.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard to stand up to someone who is so controlling.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_01: But I think as you learn to take responsibility for yourself and like good, they have to take responsibility for themselves.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's a big one.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: I used to have a saying, on a good day, I do well to manage me.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: Try to manage everyone else.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: Here's one that's kind of it's on trauma and the nervous system.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I really believe that having a safe nervous system is so key.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you explain what I mean by safe nervous system?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Because you're the therapist, you understand what I'm saying.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Can I tell you what I think you're saying?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: And then you can confirm because I don't want to put words in your mouth either.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you're so sweet.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Something else to you.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think what you're saying is like, you know, our a lot of times when when we're in those high stress or high pain point times in our lives, and people mean well, but they're like, just pray, or I'll you're which like prayer is powerful, and I don't want to take that away.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I also believe that God has given you a body, and we have to call that body.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like when the noise is so loud in your head, when the noise is so loud in your body, when you're feeling like fight or flight, maybe your your throat is feeling like tight, your your chest is feeling tight, you have tension in your traps, your neck, like you know, maybe you're getting headaches, maybe you have stomach aches.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like your body is telling you things.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_00: Your body has an alarm system built in, and what it's telling you is that I need to feel safe and I need to come down off this ledge.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're listening to Brit Skinner.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_01: If you're listening on the podcast, you nailed that exactly.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what part of my healing was?
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I I still, even though he's passed, I knew there was so much I needed healing.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: I had to find someone who I felt my nervous system felt safe with.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: And that was three years ago, and that was my therapist coach, one of my best friends now, but I felt safe.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_01: My nervous system did.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_01: So as we go through, I remember just this past month, I got sick and I was taking my son to school and I was working overtime.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm also a Christian radio announcer, by the way, and everyone was getting the flu.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: And it was like at the end of the month, even after I went to a doctor, it was like my nervous system got overloaded.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's like back to basics.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I think when you can find that place where you take care of, it's okay to take care of yourself, right?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay to take good care of yourself.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I just think the nerve, I'm so glad you said what you did with the nervous system because a lot of people don't know how to break that down and thought, oh, that's why I'm oh, and just between you and me, which we all both believe, the place that I get peace, the place where my nervous system calms down is every morning, it's coffee in Jesus.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, because I mean you gotta have that place of his presence.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I'm so big about even creating content.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I mean where you're you're where are you gonna get unstuck?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: If I think about it, when I was writing those things way back then, I was in the word.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: Even though I battled what I was battling, I was determined to get in the word.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so even if you're good, if someone's listening and they're going through some things, that's still his presence.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not trying to slap a Bible verse on you, but it's a big difference between that and talking presence of God.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: Just talk to me.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, this is conversational, please.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: So, for one, this when people start therapy, usually therapists start with the coping skills, right?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: That is why my freebie is the free coping skills guide that everyone can have access to.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like five pages, six pages of like all my favorite coping skills, so you can try and practice what works best for you.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is like a way to kind of just here, just like come back to the basics, learn this thing.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: But even further than that, what I like to do in my quiet time, because same thing, Jesus and coffee in the morning, that is my like, I know when I have like overslept or things are like, you know, crazy in the morning or something.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't get that time, like, oh, I can feel it the rest of my day.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Thing that a mentor of mine told me that has just been so sweet over the years, is that all of this, all of what we are living in is God's imagination.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we are made in the image of God.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: He gave us our imagination to engage it.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when I am in prayer to help with the racing thoughts, to help with the like, you know, oh, my to-do list, I gotta do this, I gotta do that.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And there's lots of different ways that I drill down into that.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: One of the ones that I love and go back to very often is visualizing where Jesus is in the room with me.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like sitting next to me on the couch or across from me and the love seat.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or you know, like sometimes I visualize myself in the palm of God's hand.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like just I'm just sitting there at crisscross applesauce talking to my dad, like you know, it I will tell you like that helps with keeping those thoughts out, but it also helps on my body.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, yeah, I'm always in the palm of my dad's hand.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we we will link to these free guides, by the way, if you're listening and like I want to get my hand on that.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: You know what when I have troubles going to sleep, I imagine myself lying in his palm.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: So that's kind of cool.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like brain techniques or just putting yourself mentally in a place that you're safe.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_01: And that may be now I know what that's like when you got bullets coming all over you, and and it's it's a control and abuse, and but Scott is still my refuge.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: I could still say, but I'm still here, you God.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know how to guy, you know, back then it wasn't that far, but I didn't know about narcissism.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't know that there was until the latter part of the years, I'm realizing, oh, I don't know what happened to me.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe someone can relate to this or they're feeling this.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: The last five years of my time last five years, I would get up and I would feel this heavy feeling.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'd have a good night's sleep.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: And Brit, I had to make a choice.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: This is where I tell you I fought for my voice.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: I could either go back to bed or I could get myself up and get in the word.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I always got up, but I would look at the bed and say, I just want to.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: But what I I don't think I realized that those were trauma effects deep in my body that my body was tired of fighting.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say so.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: I went to the word, but let's say someone can relate to that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: Some traumas got trapped, and it's it's to the point where it's affected, they don't even want to speak, they want to like hide behind their pain.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's a deep one, but what would you say to that?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I always would recommend getting in therapy, right?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like that is like I think that a lot of times in there's some bad theology out there about going to therapy.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I think it's important to find the right therapist.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, research will show the most important indicator for long-term success in therapy is actually the relationship that you have with your therapist.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's not the diagnosis, it's not the intervention, it's the relationship that you have because healing happens in relationship.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: Healing happens when people feel safe, when they feel heard, when they have a voice.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: That person, I'll tell you, like, as a therapist, like I'm all in on my clients.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Like when you're in front of me and this is our time together, like that's it for me.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like you and me, and we're gonna walk it out and we're gonna talk.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be that safe place for you.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think like the value of therapy just can't be understated.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_00: And if you just like aren't ready for that step right now, like that's okay, but go to God with it.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_00: Have your therapy time with God, you know.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Talk to Him, use your voice there, use your voice with you and God first, let him be your safe place.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think everyone should be in therapy.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I'm sorry.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: I think what you just described is you you're very much like my therapist because I found a safe place.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: I remember in the beginning, and after I'd been with her for about a year, I said, you know, it says you only meet with me for an hour, but you were giving me two hours.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: You know, she said, Oh D, you needed to talk.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: You needed to talk.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: So I mean, then there were I record my therapy sessions, so I if in case so I don't have to worry about taking notes and stuff.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then I would say, I wish I would have shut up and just listen to you.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, no, you need so now a couple three I'm going on three years later, when she begins to talk, I'm like, I may even take notes, even though I know I'm recording it.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: I say all that to say, wow, to get with someone like Brit who's gonna go all in with you.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: And and you do need to do your homework.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're talking therapy, we are really talking, you get one-on-one with someone who's gonna go all in, like Brit said.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_01: And you and I love how you said you give them space, and so so we're just putting a plug in for therapy right there, because I I would not be the person that I am now if I didn't have therapy.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: So let me ask you one more question that often points to a trauma or nervous system response, and it's often misunderstood.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I I am very big on podcasting.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, I have a Secno More Voices Academy where we teach from the overflow.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: But this, when someone says this to me, I kind of got an idea what's going on, but I'm gonna ask you.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_01: So they say, Why do I freeze or shut down when I try to speak?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Or for some of them when I turn the mic on, why do I shut down?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: It could be a lot of things.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: It could be fear of rejection, fear of judgment, fear of people.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: The imposter syndrome.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the imposter syndrome for sure.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: Anxiety of what could be what I call it like one of the tools in the enemy's playbook is fortune telling, like assuming that you know the future and that it's gonna be bad.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_00: So you're gonna put this out there and you're gonna get all this bad backlash from the internet or you know, whoever is watching it or listening to it.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that those thoughts keep us very stuck, and we got to break those chains.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the motto, stuck no more voices is my motto.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: So thank you for saying that.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I think for some too, like I said, the imposter syndrome, or others, we're talking, let's just we're just talking me social media, which by the way, you rock it on Instagram.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: You'll have to be sure.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: I'll have all the links at the notes here.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think a lot of times they get they call call it algorithm tripped up.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, I only have three people who like that.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know how many walked by and just looked at it and didn't just because they didn't like it, doesn't mean so.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: I see that happen with numbers and and and all that is self-worth based on not if you know who you are in Christ, like I started this out, you feel voiceless.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times you just don't know who you are and whose you are, and that in itself is a whole nother thing that you can do with your therapist, you can talk about your identity in Christ.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just don't ever want to be like slap a Bible verse or do something religious, like, well, you gotta do these five steps.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I'm saying?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: To really help someone who is freezing or they don't have a they don't think that they're worthy of taking up space.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: My heart aches for them because I understand.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: But so much of that is rooted in anxiety and all other issues that you you're like you said, you gotta ask them a lot of questions.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you're not giving any pad answers, but it shows you how good of a therapist you are.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna ask you in a roundabout way how this is like how do you get to the point?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now you're you're a biblical therapist.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_01: So where do you get to the point where you bring in their identity?
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Or do or is it so in inclusive in what you do that you don't have to name it identity?
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_01: Or but I just think that's such a key for transformation.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, so the way that I structure my therapy sessions, I I used to be a teacher before I was a therapist.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all about teaching the skills.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm all about like teaching you the why behind what we're doing, like very much all these pieces.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I structure my sessions where usually they come in the first five, 10 minutes, we're checking in how's how are things going?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Bring me up to speed on anything that happened that is like something you want to talk about.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that there are big things that happen and that then takes a therapy session, and we really need to focus on that.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of times it's doing that check-in, then we're learning some skills, and then we're reviewing the homework.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_00: I definitely give homework because 15 minutes is not enough time, like for the week.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: So we would do that.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: And then at the end, we're always praying.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when we're praying, bringing their request before God, I'm bringing them as a person before God.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to war with these people for these people.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're in a spiritual battle and anxiety, depression, codependence, like all those things are spiritual as well.
• 23:02
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'm talking right in my prayer about, you know, I know how much you love this person.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_00: I know how much that they mean to you.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know you know every single hair on their head.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: God, I know that you're in this journey.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: I know that you're walking with them.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: So not only am I repeating that for them to hear, but I'm walking it out with them.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm also going before God and I'm thanking him for his role in this.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_00: And when I talked to you earlier about like how do we make that thought obedient to Christ?
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, part of that is going to scripture.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_00: And it's what does God say about this?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_00: What does God say about you?
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_00: Well, he says that you are his daughter, he says that you are chosen and appointed to bear fruit, that you're here on purpose, that you're here this time, this very year, this very day.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_00: You are here on purpose.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: So good.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Get me fired up.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I had to go down to the one thing that, like one thing that obviously all these other things came from.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just sharing, honestly.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_01: And my one thing was I'm not enough.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I think a lot of uh women struggle with that.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_01: I am just not enough.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: For me, it was like I don't, whatever I cook, it's not good enough.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_01: Whatever I clean, it was just a conglomerate of different things.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_01: But when you get to the root of something, like you have someone like you who's walking you through and having you do your homework, and then you get to the root of it, and then you get to peel that onion layer off and say, there may be other onion layers, but that to me was the beginning of my healing, really going diving deep into that, doing my homework, you know, being honest.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it would always be like, How do you feel?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: T.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, you know, I it would take me like I I had that the go around the mountain person.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: I would take her all around the mountain, then you get to the how do I feel?
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me tell you how I feel.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_01: And but you know, feeling is healing, though.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: I had to realize that because I was a stuffer.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: So to be able to have someone like you who really, you know, you in a way, you get in their face, you get in their stuff because they hired you, and that's your job.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: That is that is so refreshing to hear that from you.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_01: I have to say thank you.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_00: Honestly, God put me on this path, God put me in this profession.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: I am just doing my kingdom calling, and I'm honored to do it.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'm honored to walk with each and every person.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't forget a single client.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: I still pray for people I haven't seen in five, 10 years.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_00: But that being said, I just want to speak to because when you said the not being enough, I mean, man, I see that so much.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I just want to speak to the woman who heard that and felt it in her body, who who really was like, Man, that's me.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: I'm there.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_00: My question to you, without bringing you into my therapy room, without talking about it all, my question to you in this very moment is who are you trying to be enough for?
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, you are always enough for your father.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: That's for someone listening right now.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: So who do you not feel enough to?
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: But when you realize you're his much-loved daughter, you are enough.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's good.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_00: Can you preach this world will always tell you that you're not enough?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's always striving, there's perfectionism, we're setting the bar way too high.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: We're telling people that they need to be this, that, and everything else.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And in reality, like, is God actually telling you that?
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, don't scroll.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: Stop the scroll.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: There's too many AI perfect things now.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: I love AI, but so sometimes you just gotta stop the scroll because you look.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, especially on the weekend, maybe you're a little down, and then you see family happy, perfect here, and perfect woman here.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, she's doing really good in her business.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, look at her podcast.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_01: Ah, no, no, no, no.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: God made you specifically for a it's so funny that you said that because in my stories today, I actually my stories on Instagram.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: So I know we are gonna link if you're listening and you want it now.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: It's at Biblical Therapist with an underscore at the end.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: In my stories today, I was talking about what I do because when we just live in a world where like stop the scroll would be great.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_00: And also sometimes, you know, we find ourselves back there.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I like to do is like work within that framework, right?
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I was telling my people on stories is like save the things that are speaking into the places in your heart that need to be healed.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_00: When you see something come across and you're like, oh, that's good.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna need to remember that.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_00: Make I have a folder in my Instagram saves, and it's called Faith Over Fear.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I find something that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna need that.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_00: Like I put it in that folder.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And on the days that I myself, like, because we all have them, are feeling like, oh, I'm afraid of the future or worried about this test result, or I don't know how this is gonna go.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: I go back to that folder and I look at those because maybe stop the scroll is impossible for you, but scrolling you have picked to what has spoken to your heart is 100% possible.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_01: I went on your story.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: You have a sweet husband.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you sound like that.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell you guys really chilled good together.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: I can tell that I did see that so good.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is it is a biblical therapist?
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not gonna link it, but yeah, biblical therapist, Instagram.com forward slash biblical therapist.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I'm a big Instagram follower, girl.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I checked you out and I'm like 33.5 followers, come on.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: I realize maybe not all three are that's a great reach.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_01: Praise God for that, because I really believe that you can I that's part of my thing with that podcast.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: You have a voice and someone needs to hear it.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's your worst day, but you're obedient.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe it's just to get in front of that camera on Instagram, but you're obedient, and I think obedience beats everything.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_01: And when it comes to your voice, sometimes you just gotta be obedient to God and go back to the basics.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: What did God say about me?
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why for for me, even to speak, whatever we're gonna speak on stage, in a podcast, and and one-on-one with someone, I think if we if we don't go from the overflow, what are we pouring from?
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: Are we pouring from a deep well that's been seasons that's gone through it?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_01: Are we pouring through the you know the alligator-infested fungi pond?
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: We get to choose where we renew our mind.
• 29:41
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, when I say quiet time too, I can be a little religious about it because I've been doing it for so long, but it really is when I say Jesus and coffee, sometimes I d I just sit with my coffee and listen.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a big fan of U version, the Bible app.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_01: Reason being is I had cataracts I couldn't see for much of my marriage, and I finally, and so that's how I read my Bible because I could see it on the U version.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: But even though I got my cataracts and I can see, I there's some there's like this one, and it's called Time with God.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's a it's a little square, and I swear it's like therapy.
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_01: I swear they use where I keep saying that.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: It's something they use like if I was to sit with God in like a session, it'd be like because this is your time, which it's all about you.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: You get to be honest with and sometimes they say, Imagine yourself sitting with Jesus, and and and so I've been doing that uh for like 10 years, but I love it because there's a stillness.
• 30:42
  SPEAKER_01: There's not this, okay, I gotta read my 10 chapters.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness, that's so draining.
• 30:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, uh, we've all been there.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like that gentleness, they give you some verses, and they even have this one section where it where you can write your prayer requests.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of times I have like uh years worth of prayer requests.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_01: I don't look at them all, but sometimes I really need to dig deep because what is affecting me?
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's because I've been praying about that and I'm still gonna pray about that, whatever the issue was.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I say all that encapsulated in when we say your quiet time, we're really talking about presence.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: And from that presence of God is where things get healed, visions come, dreams come, and you get to walk it out from that place.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it and you're not, it's from the overflow.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_01: So, can you relate to that what I just said?
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_01: I just kind of rambled, but I'm just so passionate about it.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, I love it, and I I love what you say when you're like, Well, here's my issue with the word quiet time, and and expound on that.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_00: You know, one thing that I myself am also doing is is just doing this thing called the holy work method.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Have you heard of that?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no, talk to me about that.
• 31:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so you spend like a minute just grounding yourself.
• 31:57
  SPEAKER_00: So um if anyone does grab my guide, like there's a lot of grounding techniques in there that you can do, but some breath work, some, you know, noticing your five senses, like whatever it is that is grounding you.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_00: But take a minute and really come into the present moment, feel your body, feel where you're at.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Then we move into two minutes of gratitude, and you're just reflecting on the day before.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_00: I always do my time with God in the morning, so I always reflect on the day before.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: But if you're doing it at night, reflect that day and write down three to four things that that you're grateful for that day or from the day before.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: And then then we go into what's called like the epidermis layer.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: So you're like just trying to peel back those pieces.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_00: I hear it when you're talking about your own therapy.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_00: I hear you're saying you go around the mountain, you're like bringing me back.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're just like, just jump, brain dump, don't censor, don't like check things, don't reread it, just let it out.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: Uh just just write everything.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I set a timer on my phone, and it's supposed to be for like 10 minutes.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I just write every thought that comes to mind, every fear, everything I'm like wrestling with in that 10 minutes, right?
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_00: But like I'm writing a letter to God.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I go into two minutes of just sitting before God and I say, in light of everything I've written, Lord, what is it that you want me to know?
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then and I close my eyes and I just I just sit.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I hear something, sometimes I see something, sometimes it's God has a message for me about it.
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it's just, hey, I still have you.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like sometimes it's just picturing myself still in his hand in light of everything I've written.
• 33:45
  SPEAKER_00: Man, he is still my father and he still loves me.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think like that just brings perspective to it.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_00: I think quieting ourselves and and really being present in that moment, and there's a lot of power in that.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like when you're just driving and you're like, it's fine, he's got it, but you're still like desperate the wheel.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: Been there, done that.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is, do you have that?
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: Is that one of your free guides too?
• 34:10
  SPEAKER_01: What you just described?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because that is no power.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Whoever's listening, you have to listen over to that.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in this.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's very similar to what I do.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_00: There's one more step at the end.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just don't want to get too far away.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm sorry, because I got sidetracked.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: No, I love this.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_00: But the last step is sometimes sometimes I add this other minute into my two minutes of just quiet time.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Again, set the timer so you're not worried about like, has it been two minutes?
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um but this last minute, either I roll it into that quiet time and I'm asking God this question, or if I have asked and I haven't felt like I really gotten an answer from it, then I'm I'll pick it myself.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: But it's one small step that I can do that day.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like what because movement creates momentum.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so every day, it's what do I do?
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, this week, God asked me to spend my lunch break with him.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: He said, just pray with me, just sit with me in your lunch break today.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I did.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I there were things that came up in my afternoon that like I really needed that time with God on my lunch break that I didn't even know, but he knew.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: That's so good.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna have to listen to that over if you're listening.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_01: Rewind that part because I'm gonna rewind it.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's very similar, but I like some of the elements you added, and we're just talking about presence, we're not talking about the bear.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: So you would totally get that.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Man, this has been so much fun.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: I've not been here.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 35:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, your energy is great.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_01: I I know when I saw you at one of those masterminds, we're in the same mastermind, by the way, no more no more dry ground with Michelle Tufford.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Oh dare, that is like so.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't realize, you know, really as a therapist, I totally get you, but you also have some techniques and some things that I think like I'll make sure you guys get linked to get some of these free reef resources because these are practical things.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then if you really need to go deeper, I'm sure there's a way to get in contact with Britt.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, wouldn't you want her as your therapist?
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Come on, guys.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we have been listening to Britt Skinner.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: You just kind of midway got in.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: She's a licensed clinical social worker and therapist.
• 36:24
  SPEAKER_01: She specializes in anxiety, depression, and code dependence.
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_01: She helps clients understand how their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors connect all through a biblical lens so they can go from overwhelmed to anchored in peace.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you've gotten a lot of that in this interview.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I really appreciate you just letting us have your heart and just being so real.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just really appreciate you for sharing like you have.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, D, I just really appreciate you having me on.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that your podcast is touching so many more people.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: And man, I just I can't help but think like one day we will get to be in heaven and see the impact that God has had us when he calls us into these roles.
• 37:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I'm talking to each and every woman and man who is listening to this.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like he has a kingdom impact for you.
• 37:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this podcast, you're here because you have a voice and you want to get your message out, but you're stuck.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so don't be stuck anymore.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: Let's move forward.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start chiseling away at the blocks that are causing you to be stuck because you have a kingdom purpose.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: And one day I just believe that we will be able to see the reach that God had because of our voice, because of our impact.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: If you're on my podcast listening, you can't see my cat.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: He totally agrees.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_01: He's very attracted to anointed voices.
• 37:41
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, Britt, thank you so much.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: God bless you.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm glad I get to connect with you on Michelle's No More Dry Ground.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_01: That's a blessing.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And you've been listening to the Suck No More Voices podcast, be sure to check the download links for some of Brit's resources.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: Also, we have uh opened up our Stuck No More Voices Academy.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_01: And just to start, play through the webinar.
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_01: You can you sign up for the webinar and I'll give you a bonus video three steps to start your podcast.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope you can check that out.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: And uh yeah, just thank you for listening, and I'll talk to you in the next episode of the Second No More Voices podcast.