Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when a narcissist realizes that you don't care anymore?
Transcript
- 0:00So what happens when a narcissist realizes that you no
- 0:04longer care about that? When you when the caring has
- 0:08stopped, when the love and affection from your side has
- 0:11exited stage left, when you have logged out of the relationship
- 0:16emotionally? What happens to the narcissist?
- 0:17What do they do? How do they act?
- 0:19That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
- 0:20If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:22I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
- 0:24Here to give you the perspective of a narcissist.
- 0:26And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:46Welcome back. Welcome back.
- 0:48Welcome back, folks. Yes.
- 0:50What happens when a narcissist realizes that you no longer
- 0:54care? I got inspired, but I saw the
- 0:55thumbnail. Somebody else's video.
- 0:57I did not know whose page it was on.
- 0:58I'm sorry if I'll see the video. Tag it below.
- 1:01Listen, tag the creator below. I'm not.
- 1:03I'm not a content thief, but I was just reaching through
- 1:06scrolling while I was in the car going to my son's game and I saw
- 1:08the video. I was like, oh, there it is
- 1:10right there. And I was like, Dang, I can do
- 1:12that video right there. And I just, I, I can't find it
- 1:14again. So if y'all see that video,
- 1:17shout out to him. I'll if I find it, I'll tag the
- 1:20creator or whatever because I'm not a content deist.
- 1:22But this is what goes on y'all. What?
- 1:24What happens in the mind of a narcissist when they realized
- 1:27that you no longer care? What do they do?
- 1:29So there's going to be a 2 parter with two parts within one
- 1:31part. We call that narcissistic
- 1:33inception, right? But seriously, the first thing
- 1:40that typically happens when a narcissist.
- 1:42Good luck. When I say 2 parts is what I
- 1:43mean. Sometimes they want you to no
- 1:47longer care, right? Other times they do they want
- 1:51you to care. So we're going to we're going to
- 1:52talk about the part of first when they do want you to care.
- 1:55Like I've said this before, narcissistic people have like a
- 1:59sixth sense. Some of us do, right?
- 2:02We're like very intuitive. We can tell what something's
- 2:05going on with you. We can tell when you're hurting
- 2:08or when you're sad or whatever. We know y'all.
- 2:10I tell y'all. We know it.
- 2:11We know it. We might pretend like we don't
- 2:14know it, but we absolutely, absolutely, absolutely do know
- 2:18that something is going on. We do know that something is
- 2:20wrong. We do know that you're not
- 2:22feeling it because we can tell. We can tell when you're
- 2:24withdrawing, when you're pulling away from us.
- 2:26Like real life example, when my wife had left back in 2020,
- 2:31right when the pandemic started, right?
- 2:33I could tell that she was unhappy.
- 2:35We, we would be in the kitchen in her body language.
- 2:38I've read a bunch of I've read, I've read a bunch of body
- 2:40language books, right? So we'd be in the kitchen and
- 2:43her shoulders would be slumped and she would be like washing
- 2:45dishes or something like cooking and she would be like her head
- 2:47be down and I could just tell I was like, you know what my wife
- 2:49would need right now? She needs a hook.
- 2:52She, she seems like she's logged out, but my mind would not let
- 2:56me hug you. I was just telling you my mind,
- 2:58boy. I'm so glad for therapy.
- 3:00Therapy's allowed me to have so much more control over my mind
- 3:03and my thought process. It really, really has y'all.
- 3:07But that's been a big piece of my journey right there.
- 3:09It's just like getting control of my, my mind, just in general,
- 3:13getting control of my mind, of my head and whatnot.
- 3:16Because I knew that she was unhappy.
- 3:18You know, I did. I could tell it in certain
- 3:21situations I would like previously when she would be
- 3:23unhappy, I would just jump into hugging her, kissing on her,
- 3:28breadcrumbing her right love bombing her and things like
- 3:32that, right. You know, I would I would jump
- 3:34into doing that because that's what I wanted to do because I
- 3:37wasn't ready for her to leave. I didn't want her to leave.
- 3:40So I would jump right into that right.
- 3:43I would jump into it seriously, you know, I would just be ready
- 3:47to go. So, right, I'll be so ready to
- 3:51go. I'll be like, yeah, that's my
- 3:52opportunity to just to love bomb her, to give her a little love
- 3:55pop. It wasn't even, it wasn't even
- 3:57really a love bomb, right? Because sometimes when
- 3:59narcissists tell, could tell you no longer care anymore, you
- 4:02you're logged out. They'll start to love bomb you
- 4:05because they want you to care. They'll start to turn on the
- 4:08affection. They'll be overly affectionate.
- 4:11They will become the person that they were in the beginning.
- 4:16And this is one of the most frustrating things that happens
- 4:18to so many people. They will become the person that
- 4:21they were originally and you will see it.
- 4:24Does this work sometimes? Yeah, it does.
- 4:28When they could tell you that you no longer care, when they
- 4:30could tell that you're no longer happy with them, they'll turn
- 4:32the love on and you'll be happy again.
- 4:36Your energy is back in the relationship.
- 4:38You'll be like, damn, maybe I'll this is have you questioning
- 4:40yourself. You'll be like, well, maybe I
- 4:42was. Maybe I was overreacting, maybe
- 4:45I was just wasn't seeing that they were actually trying to
- 4:47love me. I'm happy again.
- 4:50And you'll go right back into it head first.
- 4:52You dive head first back into the relationship.
- 4:54But you know what I'm saying? You dive is like your
- 4:56relationship with the narcissist is like a pool, right?
- 4:58You dive head first back into the relationship with your eyes
- 5:00closed, not realizing that the pool is empty.
- 5:05What happens when you dive head first into an empty pool with
- 5:07your eyes closed? I bet y'all can't imagine, like
- 5:11Willy, you dive head first into an empty pool with your eyes
- 5:14closed. You're probably going to snap
- 5:16your neck. Yes, you go snap your neck
- 5:18because you're going to, you definitely going to get hurt.
- 5:20Because you expected things to be different.
- 5:23You expected things to be different.
- 5:25You expected things to go back to how they used to be, which
- 5:28why would yeah, why wouldn't they go back to how they used to
- 5:31be? Because now y'all working with
- 5:33y'all doing things for each other, y'all working together,
- 5:35y'all are happy again, right? So why wouldn't things go back
- 5:38to how they used to be, right? So now you're working hard, now
- 5:43you're doing this, now you're doing that, now the relationship
- 5:45is moving forward or whatever the case may be, and you're
- 5:48happy again. But then they pull the love back
- 5:50and then you snap back to reality and then you're unhappy
- 5:53again. The ups and downs, the ups and
- 5:56downs. But now what?
- 5:57What's happened? They, they've given you a taste
- 6:00of happiness. They give you a taste of peace.
- 6:03They give you a taste of it, so now you're craving it.
- 6:06So now you might stay longer because now you should.
- 6:08You see who they are. Even though they start to act,
- 6:11they start to withdraw again. Even though they started to take
- 6:13the love away again, you start, you start to try again harder.
- 6:18You think it's on you now. Maybe it is me, maybe I
- 6:22overreacted, maybe I did this, maybe I did that.
- 6:24So you start to work harder on the relationship to keep this
- 6:28person there, to do this and to do that and that.
- 6:31And that makes a lot of sense when you're dealing with a
- 6:33narcissistic person, doesn't it? Because that that just keeps the
- 6:36cycle going. So sometimes when they see that
- 6:38you don't care anymore, that you no longer care that you're
- 6:40logged about, they'll start to literally love bomb you or
- 6:45they'll start an argument. Let's be real, even if they want
- 6:48you to stay, some of them will start an argument with you
- 6:50because of out of anger and the frustration, they'll just start
- 6:52to get mad as hell at you. What the hell is wrong with you?
- 6:54Why you acting like that? Why can't I touch you?
- 6:59Why you acting all Snooty? Why you acting all stuck up?
- 7:02See, that's why, that's why we that's why we're not going to
- 7:04work because you acting like look how you acting, look how
- 7:05you behaving. That's why we never work.
- 7:11You see, you see, it's crazy, isn't it?
- 7:15It's crazy how that goes. So, so many people get stuck in
- 7:18these situations because when they feel like you no longer
- 7:20care, they start to act like they do and it confuses you.
- 7:23You start to no longer care. You start to no longer care.
- 7:26You log out of the relationship because you think they logged
- 7:28out. You think y'all logged out
- 7:30together. He's like, oh, so we, I guess we
- 7:31logged out together. We both emotionally disconnected
- 7:35in this relationship. We both emotionally logged out,
- 7:38but then they turned it on. He like, well, I, I need to turn
- 7:40it on. But it doesn't always work,
- 7:41right? Sometimes you'll still escape,
- 7:44sometimes you still leave, which still happens.
- 7:46You know, if you are unhappy, you might should leave, right?
- 7:51But that ends up being a big piece of it.
- 7:54So many people that are dealing with narcissistic people fall
- 7:57into this category, fall into this, this kind of vortex of the
- 8:00narcissist being extremely manipulative and abusive and
- 8:03toxic as hell. And you're like, what the hell
- 8:05is going on between the sheets in my home?
- 8:08Baby, wait, let me explain before you start the point.
- 8:10You can't, OK? Y'all know I had to.
- 8:12I had to hit R Kelly. I mean, not to R.
- 8:14Is that R Kelly? Yeah, Well, I think it is.
- 8:17I'm sorry, y'all. I know R Kelly is on some
- 8:18craziness. Sorry, y'all apologies for that
- 8:20one, but that's how it goes. Now, on the other side of
- 8:24things, when a narcissist realizes that you don't that,
- 8:28that you no longer care. Sometimes, y'all, and I've
- 8:30talked about this in other videos, sometimes they want you
- 8:33to no longer care. Sometimes they are intentionally
- 8:37trying to push you out of the door.
- 8:39They don't want to be with you no more anyway.
- 8:43Sometimes they are hopefully hoping that they've treated you
- 8:46bad enough to the point where you just up and leave.
- 8:51To the point where you break up with them.
- 8:53To the point that you call it quits, that you call off the
- 8:56relate, that you end the relationship, that you call off
- 8:58the engagement, that you file for divorce and you move out,
- 9:01you file for separation. That's called the reverse
- 9:05discard. And that is a way that a lot of
- 9:08narcissists play the victim. So when they don't longer care
- 9:11and they want you to leave, they'll keep, they'll pretty
- 9:13much usher you out the door if they have new supply or they or
- 9:17they want to hunt for some new supply.
- 9:18Yeah, they'll usher you out the damn door pretty much because
- 9:21they want to go out there and find somebody else or they
- 9:23already have somebody else and they won't have the, they want
- 9:26to be able to play the victim. They want to be able to have
- 9:29that excuse. So sometimes if they want you to
- 9:31leave, they'll start to treat you bad so you no longer care.
- 9:34And then the love mommy won't start back over, right?
- 9:37The little love pop won't happen.
- 9:40And that's the truth. The love pop will not happen.
- 9:44And that's confusing as hell. They can mess with you as well,
- 9:47can't it? It's one of the things, y'all,
- 9:49this is one of these situations that continuously happens to so
- 9:51many people. Well, they'll mess with your
- 9:53head over and over and over again.
- 9:54They'll get deep into your psyche over and over and over
- 9:56again to the point where you are just perpetually unhappy and
- 10:00then you leave. So some nurses want you to be
- 10:03the one to leave so they can play the victim.
- 10:05But back to the first part, when they don't want you to leave
- 10:09some or, or when they do want you to leave, this can, this can
- 10:11apply for both right here. Sometimes when they realize that
- 10:14you no longer care, even if they want you to stay, sometimes
- 10:18they'll start a smear campaign on you.
- 10:21They'll go ahead and get ahead, try to get ahead of you leaving
- 10:24because even if they want you to stay, you might not want to
- 10:28stay. You might be logged out and
- 10:29never coming back. So they go ahead and start a
- 10:30smear campaign within your friend group or within your
- 10:33family circle or your family unit to go ahead and try to get
- 10:36it to go ahead and try to get ahead of the things that you're
- 10:38going to say about them possibly.
- 10:41So sometimes they'll start a smear campaign on you in order
- 10:44to try to get ahead of things that you might say, might or
- 10:46might might not say, you may or may not say about them.
- 10:50So sometimes if they've realized, when they realize that
- 10:52you no longer care, they will start to lose their damn minds.
- 10:56They'll start the active monkey pretty much right when they
- 10:58start the active monkey. You already know what this you
- 11:00already know what what what happens when people start the
- 11:02active monkey? They start beating their chest
- 11:04like a gorilla. Anyway, y'all thanks for rocking
- 11:08me to the end of this video. Y'all know I've got nothing to
- 11:09love and appreciation for every single one of y'all.
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- 12:08Peace.