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Don’t Stop… Let Me Cry: Why Tears Are the Rainbow After the Storm · Back Porch Confessions

• Gravesb41: Sometimes my soul is just tired, tired of being strong, tired of carrying the heaviness, tired of fighting battles nobody else can see. And maybe you know that kind of tired too. The kind of tired that doesn't come from sleep, the kind of tired that settles deep in your heart, your mind and your spirit, the kind that comes from surviving, enduring, holding it all together and still showing up when your life had tried to take everything out of you. But here's the truth. Being tired does not mean you are weak, it does not mean you are broken, and it does not mean your story is over. At Renewed Mind we talk about the hard things, the hidden heaviness, the silent battles, the trauma, the grief, the healing, and the fight to keep going when your soul feels weary. This is the place where strong people can finally tell the truth, where healing gets honest, where pain is spoken out loud. And where the ones who have spent their whole lives pouring into others can find a space to breathe, be seen, and remember they are worth the battle too because sometimes the healer needs healing. Sometimes the strong ones need somewhere soft to land, and sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is admit you're tired and keep choosing to heal anyway. This is renewed mind, real talk, real pain, real healing. One honest conversation at a time. If you're looking for beautiful, meaningful, and custom-made creations that tell a story, Little Butterfly Design and Print is where creativity and compassion come together. Cheryl specializes in personalized designs that celebrate life's most important moments, from custom shirts and prints to heartfelt gifts, memorial pieces and unique creations made just for you. Every design is crafted with intention, care, and a personal touch that you can feel. Whether you're honoring a loved one, supporting a cause, building your brand, or simply want something one of a kind, Cheryl brings your vision to life in a way that feels truly special. Little Butterfly Design and Print isn't just a business. It's a reminder that even the smallest ideas can transform into something beautiful. Support a small business that pours love into every detail. Find Little Butterfly Design and Print by Cheryl A. Harlan online and see how she can create something meaningful just for you. Welcome to Back Porch Confessions, where the sweet tea is strong, the stories are stronger, and no topic is too taboo for the porch. Grab a seat, kick off your shoes, and let's get into the kind of conversation your mama warned you about, but you listen anyway. Back Porch Confessions: Hello everybody, welcome in. Today I am going to be talking about don't stop. Let me cry. Why tears are the rainbow after the storm? Welcome back, my friends. Today we are going somewhere tender, somewhere a lot of us avoid. We're talking about something so simple that most of us don't even realize that we do it. Someone says something beautiful to us like, I'm proud of you. You changed my life. You are stronger than you realize. You are loved. You mattered to me. And before those words can ever even really fully land in our hearts, what do we say? Stop! You're gonna make me cry. But why? Why are we stopping the words our heart has waited years to hear? Why are we blocking out the moments when love finally reaches our wounded places? Because maybe the cry isn't the breakdown. Maybe the cry is the breakthrough. Maybe the tears are not proof that the storm won. Maybe the tears are the rainbow that shows up afterward. I'm gonna pause there for just a minute. I'm gonna have to go ahead and let Maggie out. One second. Here I am again. Sorry about that. Imagine that. Already a blooper in the very beginning. Anyway, back to where we were. So what I was saying was maybe the tears are not proof that the storm won. Maybe the tears are the rainbow that shows up afterward. Thank you, Aiksa, for that part. Anyway. So today we're going to talk about why we run from our emotions, why receiving love can feel uncomfortable, why tears are healing, and how To finally allow ourselves to feel the beautiful moments we spent years prayin' would come. So why do we apologize for feeling? It's kind of a pattern. How many times have you heard someone say, I'm sorry, I'm emotional? I'm sorry I'm crying. I don't know why I'm like this. But think about this. When did having feelings become something you needed forgiveness for? Somewhere along the way, many of us learned. Don't cry. Be strong. Hold it together. Don't make people uncomfortable. Don't be dramatic. Don't be too sensitive. So we started swallowing emotions and we learned to celebrate quietly, grieve quietly, hurt quietly, and even heal quietly. Right? Then one day someone offers you genuine kindness and your nervous system doesn't know what to do with it. Like why compliments can make us cry? Why do they make us cry? Sometimes compliments don't touch confidence first, right? So they touch what? They touch the wounds underneath. So someone is gonna say something like you're amazing and inside a younger version of us whispers I wish someone told me that when I needed it most. The tears are not about what was said. They are about all the years we needed to hear it. That has got to be an aha moment for many, many of you listeners. The tears are not only about what was said. They are about all the years we needed to hear it. So I want to ask you some questions, like I normally do. What is your automatic response when someone compliments you? Do you accept it? Deflect it, joke it away, change the subject. It depends on the situation for me, I reckon. Sometimes I deflect, probably more often than not. If I accept it, I usually accept and deflect and or joke it away. I don't usually change the subject, but I do kind of move along from it, if that makes sense. But yeah. So what do you do? Sit and think about it for a minute. Really sit and think about it for a minute. What do you do when someone says something like that to you? Give you a minute to think on that. The second question is who taught you that crying was weakness? I think for me, for most Gen Xers, it was our family, our parents, teachers, society itself. You were to be seen and not heard. And you and you you've you've heard me say that a million times throughout all of these podcasts. You were supposed to be seen and not heard. So why is that? Why were we taught and our parents were taught and their parents were taught and their parents were taught not to show emotion? Where along the line did that become a problem? Why was it a problem? If I could only go back to the beginning of when it was a problem and have a conversation with these people. And imagine how the world would change if we didn't grow up predispositioned with the fact that weakness meant Crying. Weakness meant being heard. Weakness meant Emotions were bad. But it's actually just the opposite. It's the polar opposite. Having the courage to cry, having the courage to feel, having the courage to show emotion, having the courage to accept. Compliments to accept kind words being brought your way. That's not weakness. That's strength. But we've been taught that is weakness. When was the last time someone said something kind to you and you truly allowed yourself to receive it? Like actually allowed yourself to receive it. Like a friend or a spouse says, You're beautiful. I loved your hair like that. Most of us will go, I don't think so, or it looks this way or it looks that way, but thank you. Well, do you realize honestly that you're insulting the person that's giving you the compliment? Because you're telling them what they're seeing isn't true. You're telling them that they're lying. You're telling them that what they say is not valid or valuable. So what happens in that situation? People stop complimenting you. People stop telling you things that are nice. And then you wonder why nobody ever says anything nice to you. You don't ever accept it when they do. So when was the last time someone said something kind to you and you truly allowed yourself to receive it? Husband comes to me. Today, just a little while ago. You look really good in that thing you got on. He doesn't know what to call it, but he anyway, he says, I looked good in the outfit. And I said, really? And whatever. So it's added kind of a little bit of a deflect. And I said, Well, thank you. I'm glad you like it. That was a half-assed welcome to his compliment. but partial deflection in that. I need to work on that. So do you apologize when you cry? How many times do you apologize when you cry? Do you have any idea why you're you're apologizing? Do you know why you apologize? I've never thought about it. I've never thought about it until it was brought up in my live on TikTok today. I'd never really thought of about why. Why is it that we do that? And the question was proposed by Aiksa. I said her name earlier. And she said Don't do that. Don't apologize when you need to cry. Feel the emotion. It's okay. So what emotions did your childhood allow? Sorry. What what emotions did your childhood allow? Were you allowed to cry? Were you allowed to feel? Were you allowed to express your thoughts or feelings? Were you allowed to have your own boundaries? Were you allowed to discuss things that maybe did or didn't make you feel good? Were you shut down when you went to family members and tried to tell them that this or that is going on and you're feeling this way? Or this person at school is making you feel this way? What did they say? I can tell you what I was told. Just say in your in your mind that I am rubber and you are glue, what bounces off of me sticks to you. And that was somehow supposed to make it all go away. That was somehow supposed to take their ugly, meaning. hateful, disrespectful comments away somehow. But it didn't. But you were to accept the fact that it quote unquote did because you said that. That's what we were taught. Which emotions were considered too much? I don't know, all of them, as far as I was concerned, I wasn't allowed to think, I wasn't allowed to feel, I wasn't allowed to express when something wasn't making me happy. I was taught at the age of 14 that if I stand up for myself and I express my discomfort in a situation. It may cost me someone I love. I stood up for myself. And my mom took me to foster care and dropped me off. When really I I just needed her to hear me. Anyway. That's one of that I just need to have a good cry over. Do you have an emotion that was too much for you? Were you told to be quiet? What were the things that you were told to be quiet for? I don't know. There's so many things to unwrap in that whole discussion. You know, your tears they tell you a story. Your mouth never got to tell. Your teal your tears, rather your tears tell a story your mouth never got to tell. That's pretty profound, isn't it? How do we understand emotional release? How do you understand it? We often think that tears mean what? I'm falling apart. But sometimes tears they just mean I'm finally safe enough to feel. For years people can operate in survival mode. I've done it a couple of times in my life. And they think that when you are operating in survival mode, a lot of people just think that you can handle everything. They can handle anything. They're so strong. They're so amazing. Survival mode puts you in that, handle everything, the loss, betrayal, disappointment, loneliness, trauma. They become the dependable one, the strong one, the one everyone calls, but nobody ever asks. Where does the strong person put their pain? Where? Are you the strong person? Where do you put your pain if you are the strong person? I have to say honestly, sometimes for me being the strong person, sometimes it just sits there quietly. It's like it's just sitting there waiting for permission. And then somewhere along the way, someone says, I see you. That's right. Out of the blue, someone is just gonna say, I see you. And the wall cracks. It's gonna crack wide open when you ever get the moment to feel that safety. And it's not gonna be because you're weak. It's because something finally reached you. Someone finally reached you. Someone finally sees you. All of you. There's so many different types of tears that come with that. You will find in those moments that there are tears of grief. I lost something that mattered. All of those things that mattered, those tears of grief are gonna flow. Tears of relief. I survived something I never thought I would. I made it through to the other side. And I thought this was gonna take me out. Tears of recognition, someone finally understands me. When you ever find someone that understands you and sees you, truly sees you, the overwhelming emotion that that can bring to the surface. That's recognition. Your body's feeling it, your mind is feeling it, your survival mode is feeling it. That's recognition written all over you. You could go into tears of joy. I never thought I would experience this. I never thought somebody would actually see me. So when you go into those moments of joy and you feel that joy so deep in your heart that there's nowhere for those emotions to go but out. Nowhere for those emotions to go. But to burst out in joy and embrace that joy, accept that joy. Because it doesn't always come along. You know, sometimes those tears end up being tears of healing. Because once you've been seen and once you know somebody truly understands and gets you. That healing that comes from that. Is like I I'm I'm letting something leave my body. That's what it feels like. You're letting something leave your body. It's like a weight somehow just comes off of you. The heaviness that you felt in your soul for years dissipates. That's what it is. It's tears of healing. If you ever get the chance to have those tears of healing, embrace them. They are irreplaceable. They are amazingly beautiful. And they're so cleansing. It's a s it's a strong cleansing of the depths of your souls. Tears of healing. What tears have you been holding back? I could probably name a ton. Probably way more than I should be, because I know better. I hold back in my lives sometimes because I don't want I don't want them to see me. to what I think is is being weak. You can't cry and have emotions right now. You've got listeners that are trying to be there and they need the healing, not you. You are the strong one right now. Sometimes I can't help it, but I have to let it go. So what tears are you holding back? Are you afraid that if you start crying you won't stop? That seems to be a problem for a lot of people, to be honest. Why is that a bad thing? 'Cause here I got a secret for you. They will stop. Do I say that they may bubble up again? They might. But eventually, once you cry it out for a little while, they'll stop. And you can feel the moments of joy again. So don't be afraid of the tears not stopping, because they will, I promise. What would your tears say if they could talk? Man, that's probably a podcast in and of itself. What would your tears say if they could talk? She's strong She's independent stubborn frustrating. One of the most fierce, loyal people you'll ever know. Is that you? She's been broken. She's been brought to healing. She's been brought back to her knees. She's had nervous breakdowns. She's tried to stand her ground, or he What emotions have you been carrying silently? Carrying your emotions silently. Hmm. That sounds like there's a lot of healing under there that need needs to slowly be unpacked, slowly risen to the top. That's what it sounds like to me. emotions we carry silently will slowly, slowly bring you to your knees. You will withdraw further and further inside and And become colder and meaner. Stop carrying that. It's not a weight God ever meant for you to carry. We have tears for a reason, but So if you're one of the strong ones. Who sees the real you behind that smile? Who truly sees you? Do you have anybody in your life that sees all of you? I have people that see me. And I'm thankful and grateful for them. Can I be resistant to them seeing me? I can. It's just the fear, the fear of letting someone see you because you've been hurt so many times. Learning to let go of that fear and that hurt. It's a process. It's not easy. It's a one day at a time type thing. Those of us that are like that are generally very skeptical and don't trust and let people in too easy. You have to really show that you're truly. A loyal person. It's gonna take a while to let somebody to see the real you behind that smile. Why is it why why is it? Why does love sometimes feel more uncomfortable than pain? Seems like an odd thing, doesn't it? Love to feel more uncomfortable than pain? But it's the truth, it's what most people do. Familiar, familiarity, it feels safe. That's the way somebody can be in the most loving relationship ever. And if they grew up in nothing but chaos and lies and destruction, and that's what they know of life, and they're with somebody that's completely safe and sees them. and loves them unconditionally, they will sabotage that and go find something familiar, which is chaos. Crazy. Yeah. And then the person that's truly loved this person and wanted to to help make them be the best person they could ever be, is left sitting there going, Well But I loved him or I loved her. Why was that not enough? Because pain is more uncomfortable than love. Familiarity feels safe to them. Ultimately your love did not. And that's sad. It's so sad. But there's nothing you can do about that. The person on the other end of that Is the only person that can choose to do and see that differently no matter how hard you love them, no matter how hard you show them that they're great and they're amazing and and they deserve this and they deserve that. If they don't truly believe it and they are more afraid of the feeling of love than pain, they'll never cross that line and actually truly love you. They'll destroy you. And here's something even more powerful than that. Sometimes people who have experienced emotional wounds They're more comfortable with criticism than kindness and And there's people on the other end of that going, make that make sense. Why would you rather be criticized than to be loved than to have kindness shown your way? Why? Why? Because you should be answering this by now. It feels familiar. Love feels unknown. So if you spent years proving your worth, peace to you. Is gonna feel strange. Peace to them will feel strange. So if you spent years earning attention, being freely loved feels suspicious. If you spent years earning attention, being freely loved, it's on the other side of fear. You become so suspicious of the person, all of it feels suspicious. There's something gonna happen, the shoe's gonna drop, it's just gonna fall apart. I just know it is. So your mind will start asking numerous questions. What do they want? Why are they really with me? What do they want from me? How long will this last? Constantly waiting for the other shoe to fall off. When does that shoe drop? Yeah. Good things trigger grief. I'm telling you. You don't even realize it unless you've been in it. Good things trigger grief. Sometimes happiness actually opens old wounds. I know. Strange as it may sound, happiness can open old wounds. So a healthy relationship may remind you. Of all the unhealthy ones. Or if the person on the other side of you, if you're the good person, not that they're not not that they're bad, but if you you are on the side of being on the loving side, not the rejection side. A healthy relationship for that person, they remind them of all the unhealthy ones. Wow, mind blowing, right? So a loving friendship may remind you of all the people who left. So it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. It can be about any frit friendship. Any ship that we ride. Relationship, situationship, romantic ship, friendship, any of it. So a compliment may remind them or you of every person who criticized you, of every person who criticized them. A simple compliment. Is going to trigger all of that. If you ever stop and think about it, it makes perfect sense. Of course it's going to. Because they've spent most of their entire life being criticized. If that's the person that you're dealing with. Healing is strange. Truly, it's strange. Because sometimes the good moments reveal where the hurt was. So, what do we make of that? The good moments reveal where the hurt was. Why? Why? Why is that the case? Because it's what we've known our entire lives, because it's why we sit in survival mode. Do you trust the good moments? Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I am the one sitting there waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm not saying it's healthy. I know it's not. I know I'm not supposed to be doing that. do you wait for something bad to happen? Just waiting on that other shoe to drop. You just sit and you wonder. And it may just be in the subconscious mind that you're thinking of it. Like it may just be sitting back there and you don't even realize you're doing it. That you're just waiting for something bad to happen. Do you struggle more with receiving love or giving love? I struggle more with receiving it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I tend to want to tear it down and not believe it and think that it's just gonna turn into crap and da da da da. So I know exactly the person that we're talking about on here. I can be both of these people. I have been both of these people. What kindness have you rejected because it felt uncomfortable? That one will sit you on your butt. Not a question you've ever asked, not something you've ever thought about. What kindness, what kindness have you rejected because it felt uncomfortable? That goes all the way back to say the compliment my husband gave me about this outfit. Looks nice on me. Why did that make me feel uncomfortable? Why did I not immediately believe him? And and have a completely different reaction to that. Because I've spent my entire life being brought down, my entire life being talked down to, my entire life being made to feel like I was not enough, unvalued, undesired, unbeautiful. So when a compliment comes it makes you feel uncomfortable because You wanna laugh at their face and go, Okay, quit lying. Because nobody's ever really felt that way. Or have there been people that have felt that way and you've sabotaged it because you stick with what's familiar, and that's the uncomfortable pain. It's rejecting these ideas, it's sabotaging the relationships. Do you know how to exist without constantly preparing for disappointment? That's a tough one. That's a that's a really tough one. 'Cause if you have to learn to exist. And trust that there's not going to be disappointment at the end of whatever it is. If you are a doomsday preparer, if you are a relationship naysayer. You have to know and understand that when you try to coexist with someone and wholeheartedly believe that they are not going to disappoint you, you have to learn to let go of the pain that is associated from your past. You have to live in the present and you have to. Heal yourself in order to not have those things from your past to carry through forward with your current world. Because if you don't, you're always gonna be preparing for that disappointment, for that other shoe to fall. We do it. That's why I try to reach so many people to help in healing. Healing from those past wounds so you can live healthy in your present. Stop saying stop. Let the love land. The power in receiving love. Mmm. It's a beautiful thing. Imagine giving someone a gift. They open it and immediately hand it back. I have had something very similar happen with Tommy. Still remember it to this day. Ripped my heart out. Anyway, say they immediately hand it back. Isn't that what we do sometimes? Emotionally? That's pretty much what we're doing. That's pretty much what's what's what we're saying. So someone says to you, you matter, and we say what? Stop. Stop. I don't matter. I'm I'm not important. I'm nobody important. Stop it. Само сейчас you look beautiful. No I don't. No I don't. No, no, don't say that. I don't look beautiful. I look wretched today. My hair is a mess. It's just it's frizzy from this humidity. I my my makeup is running on my face from all the sweat. I it's just I look terrible. No, I don't look beautiful. Don't say that. Does this sound like any of you? Someone says, You helped me. What do we say? It was nothing. Don't worry about it. It was nothing. I didn't do anything special. I just did what anybody would do. It was nothing. Just let's let's not let's not linger with that. Why does that feel so uncomfortable? Why can we not embrace that moment of, you're right. I did help you. This is my passion. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is what I do this for. Take the compliment. What if instead we practiced saying thank you? Thank you so much. I needed to hear that today. That means more than you will ever know. You truly trust touched my heart in ways that I can't even express. What if we let love complete its mission? Another moment. What if we let love complete its mission? Is it so bad? It's not. Next time someone compliments you Pause. Take a breath. Receive it. Don't explain it away. Don't reject it. Let yourself have the moment. We so often explain it away, and we don't allow ourselves to have the moment. Have the moment. So why do you struggle believing good things about yourself? Do you? Do you struggle believing good things about yourself? I know I do. I wholeheartedly do. All the time. My friends are beautiful on TikTok. They will post clips from my lives. And I will sit there and tear myself down. Look how silly you sound. Look at the fat around your neck. I mean, I will say all kinds of things to myself as I totally rip myself apart in those videos. Why do I do that? Why do I do that? Why do we do that? They're trying to support me, and here I am tearing myself apart. Why do we struggle believing good things about ourselves? What compliment do you secretly wish someone would give you? Hmm, I got a few. But we're not gonna be vain. But seriously. We we have things that we wish people would say at times. You know, there are times when you can tell sometimes with social media these days when girls are feeling themselves. They are like I feel good today. I look pretty, I feel pretty, and I'm gonna post a picture or a video or I'm gonna do this or that because I feel beautiful today. And you secretly want people to see and feel your beauty or whatever it is that you're feeling. If you're feeling it, post that video. Do that dance. Make that meme. Whatever it is that you want to do. Do it. Do it for you. You deserve it. I mean w what would happen if you stopped rejecting kindness? If you stopped rejecting kindness, what would happen? mean people would see you? Would that mean you're vain somehow? Does that mean that you're arrogant somehow? No. I mean there are some arrogant and vain people in this world. But just because you accept someone giving you a compliment when you truly deserve it doesn't make you vain or arrogant. It makes you healed. And it doesn't tell them. That you think they're lying. That you don't believe them. Who are you protecting by hiding your emotions? Seriously, who are you protecting? Anyone? Your inner child? Does that inner child need to heal? Cause who who truly are you protecting by hiding those emotions? 'Cause I don't think that we're protecting really anybody by hiding our emotions. We've just been taught to do that for so long, our entire lives really. So I guess with all of this what I'm trying to get to is the cry. The cry that you've tell people to stop. The cry can be the rainbow after the storm. Aren't they beautiful? Rainbows? They're so beautiful, so mystical. Лак да й скінс да ви кані. Rain and storms create rainbows, right? No rain, no rainbow. Maybe your tears are the evidence that something is changing. There's food for thought. Maybe your tears are evidence that something is changing. Hmm. Maybe they mean the ice is melting around your heart. My ice had to melt around my heart when Tommy and I had our paws. Maybe the wall is lowering. It's okay. It's okay to let someone in. The heart is opening, the healing is happening. We spend years asking, when will my storm end? Maybe we should stop asking. Because it's gonna keep coming. It's kind of like praying to God for patience. You keep praying and asking for patience. What's gonna happen? God is going to send you trials and tribulations. Allah, the greater being, whomever you believe in, you're going to get more trials and tribulations. With trials and tribulations grows patience. So stop asking when your storm will end. 'Cause sometimes, you know, we miss the rainbow because we're embarrassed by the rain. Why? Why are we embarrassed by the rain? What if the most beautiful version of you is waiting on the other side of the emotions you keep avoiding? What if What storm created your greatest growth? I would say this last storm probably created my greatest growth as a as an adult woman. I think most of them throughout my life has kind of equally created growth. What did your pain teach you? What does pain teach you? More often than not, it teaches you to keep to yourself, don't trust anybody, be skeptical, reject others, sabotage something that's good. Always expect the worst. That's what pain teaches you. How about we just look at pain different? Maybe pain teaches you to be stronger, teaches you to be more resilient, teaches you to be wiser, stronger boundaries, more protective, but in a good way. What beauty came from something that you thought would destroy you? Do you have anything Because there's been many things that I thought would destroy me in my life and yet here I am almost fifty four years old and still kicking. What tears are you thankful for now? What tears that you allowed to flow are you thankful for now? What moments of healing that you allowed yourself to be in that brought those tears are you thankful for now? And what rainbow appeared after your hardest season? Was it someone? Was it something? Was it a better sense of who you are? Was it a feeling of love and accomplishment for yourself? Was it an open healing process? What was it for you? Cause once you get to that point, you're pretty much giving yourself permission to feel again. So I want you to give yourself permission. It's okay. Give yourself permission to cry when someone loves you. Feel that moment. Allow that love to envelop you. Permission to feel proud. It's okay. It doesn't mean that you're prideful. There's a difference. If I have to tell you to feel proud, you're probably never going to cross the line of being prideful. So that's not a fear that you need to enlist in your arsenal of fears. So give yourself permission to be proud of where you've come from. And where you're going to, where you have gone, what healing process you have gone through. Have the ability to feel moved. Give yourself permission to cry when you need to. Don't say stop. You're gonna make me cry. Cry. Don't do that. You're making me cry. Thank you so much. Thank them. Because when you say you're making me cry, they're no, no, no, I don't want you to cry, I don't because they know what it is to cry. They don't want to cry either. They're in the same boat as you are, most likely, in the same fields. So permission to be moved and to cry. It's okay. Permission to let kindness reach you. How many of us have people do things that are kind for us? And we feel like we need to repay them somehow. We feel like we don't just deserve kindness from someone. that if someone's being kind we must somehow reciprocate. Where'd we learn that? Why? Why do we feel that way? I mean, yes, it's nice to be thankful, it's nice to be grateful, it's nice to show a grateful heart. But we don't have to do anything in return. People should be kind because they genuinely want to be kind, not because they're looking for something in return. If you're looking for something in return, it's not a genuine kindness. It's transactional. So the next time someone says something beautiful to you. I don't want you to stop them. Don't interrupt your healing. Stop that. Stop interrupting your healing. Don't block the moment. Don't block it. Receive it. Open eyes, open heart, open mind, open. Tell them, keep going. My heart needs this. I need to hear this today. Bless me today with your beautiful words. and feel the moment. Give yourself permission to be moved. Because maybe those tears are not sadness now. Maybe, just maybe those tears are parts of you that have been waiting for I don't know, for you to come home. Parts of you who've been waiting to finally come home. Maybe that's what those tears are. I want you to finish some sentences for me before I wrap this up. Come along, you can answer. I always stop myself from feeling what What do you stop yourself from feeling? I often stop myself from feeling happiness, from feeling truly. Loved from feeling like I don't have to worry about and be prepared for the other shoe to fall off. Always in protection mode. The next one. I learned that crying meant what? What did you learn that crying meant? Crying meant that you were weak. Crying meant that you didn't have a backbone. Crying meant that you were a sissy. Crying meant that you were too emotional, dramatic, drama queen. I learned that crying meant. The next sentence I want you to say the answer to is I want to teach myself crying means release. I want to teach myself that crying means release. Alexa started talking. I don't even say her name and she just starts talking. goodness. I was like, who's talking? It was Alexa. So the words I have always needed to hear are what are the words that you've always needed to hear? There's nothing wrong with you, said You are enough, Mr. What are your words? The person I am becoming deserves love deserves happiness deserves fulfillment. What is your answer? The person I am becoming deserves what? Don't be afraid of the rain, my friends. Everyone that's listening, don't be afraid of the rain. The rain waters things. The rain cleans things. The rain grows things, and sometimes the cry you're trying so hard to stop is the rainbow your soul has been waiting for. I love you all. Thank you for being with me again today. Thank you, AEXA with our way skin. You guys will see her commercial. For giving me this title idea for today. I appreciate every single one of you for listening, for ensuring that you listen to the commercials, even though you all probably know them by heart by now. It is my way of supporting the women-owned businesses in my life. If you feel like you want to help support me. Send me a comment and I can figure out how for you to send me some extra change to do a boga tea or a coffee or a pastry or something, you know, the things that I love, the little secret things that I love to do. Anyway, if you so feel the need to give me a cup of coffee or something, write me a comment. Please go and follow me in all the platforms. Give me a good rating on all the platforms. Please help pick me up and put me out there. And when you comment, it helps push me out there. When you give me a five-star rating, it helps push me out there. When you say something, it helps push me out there. When you share it out to friends, it helps push me out there. Use the share button. You can find me in all the places. You can see me on TikTok Monday through Friday. Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, we have. therapeutic type conversations. Tuesdays and Thursdays I read. Right now we're reading men are from Mars and Women A From Venus. It's a very good reading. Anyway, thank you for coming in. I appreciate you being here. I love every single one of you. Thank you. Have a great evening. Gravesb41: Y'all, let me tell you about one of my favorite little gyms back home in Robinson, Illinois. If you're looking for boutique style that feels good, fits right, and doesn't break the bank, you have to stop by Polished Boutique, owned by my sweet friend, Mindy, and her two friends, Jennifer and Valerie. And it's ran with heart, y'all. Polished is one of those places where you're not just shopping, you're family. From on-trend outfits, cozy everyday staples, statement accessories, and deals that make your wallet smile, Polished has something for every woman, every season of life. So if you're anywhere near Robinson, Illinois, go see Mindy and her girls at Polished Boutique. Tell them Back porch confession sent you. And don't be surprised if you leave feeling a little more confident than when you walked in. Polished Boutique, where style meets heart. Hey beautiful people, it's Barbara here from Backport's Confessions. You know, I am only gonna share what I truly love. And y'all, this one's a game changer. Our Way Skin by AYXA is a simple, luxurious skincare created with real women in mind. Think clean ingredients, formulas you can see and feel, smoother texture, that healthy glow and confidence looking back at you in the mirror. Whether you're juggling family, work, or just need a little self-care moment, Ixa's products give you spa quality results right at home. I'm obsessed with Our Way Skin and the way it makes my skin feel buttery soft. Go check out Our Way Skin by Ixa at ourwayskin.com and tell them Barbara sent you because your skin deserves to be cared for your way. That's a wrap on this episode of Back Porch Confessions. Where the tea is hot, the stories are real, and we never apologize for keeping it honest. Produced and edited by the magic makers over at Zay Media. Until next time, keep your porch talk spicy and your secrets safe, mostly.