Latest / Dear Chelsea / Does This Make Me Funny? With Zosia Mamet

Transcript

Does This Make Me Funny? With Zosia Mamet · Dear Chelsea

0:00
Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea.
0:02
Speaker 2: Hi.
0:03
Speaker 3: What day is it today?
0:04
Speaker 4: Today's Thursday, because our podcast comes out on Thursday. Yes,
0:08
Speaker 4: and I have some very exciting news for our listeners.
0:11
Speaker 4: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
0:13
Speaker 4: on sale this week. It's called the Height and Mighty Tour.
0:17
Speaker 4: I will be starting debuting my new material. Well I've
0:20
Speaker 4: already started debuting my new material, but in an organized
0:24
Speaker 4: tour form in February of next year. So I'm coming
0:28
Speaker 4: to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
0:35
Speaker 4: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
0:43
Speaker 4: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
0:51
Speaker 4: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
0:57
Speaker 4: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Medeesta, California, and
1:04
Speaker 4: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
1:11
Speaker 3: I will be touring.
1:13
Speaker 4: From February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in.
1:17
Speaker 4: Pre sale started last week, so tickets are flying. I
1:19
Speaker 4: haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be
1:22
Speaker 4: to some of these, So go get your tickets now
1:25
Speaker 4: if you want good seats and you want to come
1:27
Speaker 4: see me perform, I will be on the High and
1:29
Speaker 4: Mighty tour.
1:30
Speaker 1: Yay, fantastic.
1:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
1:32
Speaker 2: What do you have going on this weekend?
1:34
Speaker 3: This weekend?
1:35
Speaker 4: Well, last weekend was more interesting because I got home
1:37
Speaker 4: Friday night at five in the morning. I went to
1:39
Speaker 4: go see The Who at the Hollywood Bowl, which was fun,
1:42
Speaker 4: so much fucking fun. He's eighty one years old, Roger Daltrey.
1:45
Speaker 4: He's a fucking nugget. I was in love with him.
1:48
Speaker 4: Of course had my LSD so that was like had
1:50
Speaker 4: me pumping and he was just so just vivacious. I
1:54
Speaker 4: couldn't believe this guy is eighty one years old. And
1:57
Speaker 4: Pete Townsend and it was just so fucking fun, fun
2:00
Speaker 4: going to the Hollywood Bowl.
2:01
Speaker 3: We had a great.
2:02
Speaker 4: Time and then we went out to another party. So
2:06
Speaker 4: I got home late that night, around three. Then the
2:08
Speaker 4: next night I went to Paris Hilton's party, which I
2:10
Speaker 4: thought was a birthday party. But it was a housewarming
2:13
Speaker 4: party to a house I'm pretty sure I've been to before,
2:15
Speaker 4: so I'm not really Anyway, that was a really fun
2:18
Speaker 4: night too, and then I ended up going to another
2:20
Speaker 4: party after that and I was out until six.
2:23
Speaker 3: In the morning. I mean this wild woman.
2:25
Speaker 4: Yeah, this is like me living in my thirties again.
2:28
Speaker 4: And then on Sunday i'd to cancel like I got
2:30
Speaker 4: a there's a uh what are those massages where they
2:34
Speaker 4: kind of go into your you know, the drainage at emphatic? Yeah,
2:38
Speaker 4: I had my Karen was texting me saying, your messuse
2:41
Speaker 4: is here. I'm like what, I'm like, I just got
2:44
Speaker 4: to sleep. No, thank you, Please pay her and tell
2:47
Speaker 4: her I'm sorry. And then canceled about three more things,
2:50
Speaker 4: and then I went to my friend DJs and she
2:52
Speaker 4: made us all dinner for a Sunday night, so lovely.
2:54
Speaker 3: It was a very jam packed weekend. Yeah.
2:56
Speaker 2: I am going to the Hollywood Bowl actually for the
2:58
Speaker 2: first time in years this week or no tomorrow to
3:01
Speaker 2: see Pulp.
3:02
Speaker 3: Oh. I saw that met Glassenberg did.
3:04
Speaker 1: Were the right.
3:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm so excited.
3:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're like one of my favorite, all time favorite
3:08
Speaker 2: bands and I've never seen the moment.
3:10
Speaker 3: They were amazing. Oh I'm jealous. When are they playing Friday?
3:13
Speaker 1: So it's yeah, it's tomorrow.
3:14
Speaker 4: I'm heading to h Away for the weekend, so I
3:16
Speaker 4: won't be able to go to the Hollywood Boat, but
3:18
Speaker 4: I would have gone back for them.
3:19
Speaker 3: No heck, yeah, yeah for sure.
3:21
Speaker 4: Our guest today is best known for her roles on
3:24
Speaker 4: The Flight Attendant and Girls. She's here to talk about
3:27
Speaker 4: her very new book, Does This Make Me Funny? Please
3:30
Speaker 4: welcome actor and writer Zasha Mammot. Hi, Hi, Katie Pie.
3:35
Speaker 3: How are you?
3:36
Speaker 1: What shake? And bacon?
3:38
Speaker 3: What Shake?
3:40
Speaker 4: And Zasha Mammett is here with us today. She's here
3:43
Speaker 4: promoting her new book. This is not her first book.
3:46
Speaker 4: This is her second book because she wrote, well, a
3:48
Speaker 4: kind of a cookbook.
3:50
Speaker 3: And a kind of a memoir.
3:53
Speaker 1: I don't know, well, it was an anthology, so like,
3:55
Speaker 1: I didn't entirely write it myself. I got I, like
3:59
Speaker 1: hoodwinked a bunch of other really smart, talented people to
4:02
Speaker 1: write it for me.
4:03
Speaker 3: That's what I do when I get bored with anything.
4:05
Speaker 4: I'm like, how do I continue this without actually contributing?
4:08
Speaker 4: But this book you did write yourself, and this is
4:11
Speaker 4: more of a memoir, I would say, right.
4:13
Speaker 1: Yeah, that word makes me want to like pull my
4:16
Speaker 1: teeth out one by one.
4:17
Speaker 4: But yes, does it make your vagina close tight? When
4:20
Speaker 4: things really annoy me, my vagina starts to hurt or shut. Yeah,
4:24
Speaker 4: just like, why why do you hate the word memoir?
4:26
Speaker 1: I feel like I don't like deserve to have written
4:30
Speaker 1: a memoir.
4:31
Speaker 4: I guess, Okay, well that's a great place to start,
4:33
Speaker 4: because this whole book is basically you not believing you
4:37
Speaker 4: deserve anything, which is before you got on. Catherine and
4:43
Speaker 4: I were talking about you, comparing it. She was saying
4:45
Speaker 4: it's generational, and I was missing. I was like, no,
4:48
Speaker 4: it's it's it's your whole generation that doesn't feel deserving
4:52
Speaker 4: of things. And she's like no, she was talking about
4:53
Speaker 4: your father, who's David Mammott, of course, having it. And
4:57
Speaker 4: I was like, isn't that intergenerational. That would be like
4:59
Speaker 4: the whole family doesn't feel like they're enough.
5:01
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, sure.
5:02
Speaker 3: But I think it is both things.
5:04
Speaker 4: It's intergenerational and generational. If we're getting down to the
5:09
Speaker 4: brass tacks of things, see, it's all of the above.
5:11
Speaker 3: It's all of the above.
5:12
Speaker 4: Anyway, it's a book of essays, and that's a better
5:14
Speaker 4: way to describe it. That's how I describe my books
5:16
Speaker 4: as well, because I've written so many that how could
5:18
Speaker 4: it possibly be a memoir?
5:19
Speaker 3: Even though each one is.
5:21
Speaker 4: They are just essays and stories that I want to share,
5:24
Speaker 4: which this book does.
5:25
Speaker 3: And the book is called does This Make Me Funny?
5:28
Speaker 4: And there's a really really adorable picture of you on
5:31
Speaker 4: the cover as a little girl. So I want to
5:34
Speaker 4: talk about you calling yourself a b minus NEPO baby
5:37
Speaker 4: at best. I want to talk a little bit about
5:42
Speaker 4: Nepo babies because I.
5:43
Speaker 3: Just had this conversation.
5:44
Speaker 4: I went to the US Open and Jessica Pagoula, who
5:47
Speaker 4: was playing at the US Open. I don't know if
5:49
Speaker 4: you're familiar with her. She's a great tennis player. She
5:51
Speaker 4: made it to like I guess, the semi finals. Her
5:54
Speaker 4: father is some big magnate of some business. I'm not
5:57
Speaker 4: sure which one. He's a billionaire though right. He had
6:00
Speaker 4: come into the US Open on his mega yacht to
6:03
Speaker 4: watch her at the at the finals, and and there
6:06
Speaker 4: were people talking about that, and I was with my
6:08
Speaker 4: trainer talking about it, and he goes, it makes me
6:11
Speaker 4: so crazy that anyone could say, think that you could
6:14
Speaker 4: get to that level just because your father has money,
6:18
Speaker 4: And I said, well, it's about money and access, But
6:21
Speaker 4: at the end of the day, you have to have
6:23
Speaker 4: the talent to sustain your ability to get more than
6:27
Speaker 4: one job. If you're going to base that on one job,
6:30
Speaker 4: it's not like your parents. You're in every movie with
6:32
Speaker 4: your fucking father, you know, and every show with your father.
6:37
Speaker 1: Look like Jessica Springsteen had parents who could allot her
6:43
Speaker 1: the opportunity, but like Bruce Springsteen did not get her
6:47
Speaker 1: to the Olympics.
6:48
Speaker 4: Also, like Bruce Springsteen sings and she rides horses.
6:53
Speaker 3: So it's so fucking and like.
6:55
Speaker 1: Maybe my family is like slightly closer together, but like
6:59
Speaker 1: I'm I'm and I now have written a book, but
7:02
Speaker 1: like I certainly wasn't doing exactly what my dad did.
7:07
Speaker 3: No, And also, nepotism doesn't replace talent.
7:11
Speaker 4: People aren't going to continue to hire somebody because of
7:15
Speaker 4: their parents.
7:16
Speaker 3: Like that's just not the way that it works.
7:18
Speaker 4: When there's other people that could be more talented if
7:21
Speaker 4: they if they could hire them, they're hiring them a favor.
7:23
Speaker 4: It happens once, it doesn't happen over and over and
7:27
Speaker 4: over again. And also with regard to Jessica, like there's
7:30
Speaker 4: this background story when she had withstood like major back injuries,
7:34
Speaker 4: major rehabilitation, major like things that went awry earlier in
7:39
Speaker 4: her career that she had to recover from, and also
7:42
Speaker 4: you know, have a determination to actually improve upon and
7:45
Speaker 4: get better and better.
7:46
Speaker 3: So arguably she had to fight even harder.
7:49
Speaker 4: And what I would say is, in my experience in
7:52
Speaker 4: this business, I find that people who have famous parents
7:56
Speaker 4: like yourself, actually many times have to work harder.
8:00
Speaker 1: It's interesting. I was having that conversation with Billy Lord
8:03
Speaker 1: recently and we're talking about how love Billy. I think
8:06
Speaker 1: she's the best ever.
8:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's so great.
8:09
Speaker 1: But like, there is this misconception that we are handed
8:12
Speaker 1: it so easily and that we don't have to work
8:16
Speaker 1: hard for it, and people forget that you do actually
8:18
Speaker 1: have to be good at what you're doing. And so
8:20
Speaker 1: I think people often try to create higher, harder, more
8:26
Speaker 1: obstacles for us because they've like they're like they have
8:31
Speaker 1: a chip on their shoulder about it.
8:32
Speaker 4: Absolutely, that's what I think, and it's not a blanket statement.
8:36
Speaker 4: I'm sure there are some celebrity kids that you know,
8:39
Speaker 4: maybe aren't that talented that are getting more opportunities than others.
8:42
Speaker 4: But you almost have to prove yourself even more because
8:45
Speaker 4: people are like, oh, well, you're not just gonna fly
8:47
Speaker 4: by on your mother or your father's name.
8:49
Speaker 3: You actually have to prove yourself.
8:51
Speaker 1: And I'm sure that this isn't the case for everybody,
8:53
Speaker 1: But like Billy and I were talking, really it's not
8:55
Speaker 1: as if our parents were like, here's a fully financed
8:58
Speaker 1: movie with a leading role for you that's gonna hopefully
9:03
Speaker 1: win you and Oscar, Like they were not helping us
9:07
Speaker 1: in any way, Like my dad never gave me a job.
9:10
Speaker 1: My dad never told someone else to give me a job.
9:13
Speaker 1: Like you know, we were just saying, our parents aren't
9:16
Speaker 1: just handing out legs up you know, here, there and everywhere.
9:20
Speaker 1: We happened to have maybe access, And I honestly think
9:27
Speaker 1: the greatest thing that growing up in a famous family
9:30
Speaker 1: in the industry allotted me was knowledge, Like I just
9:34
Speaker 1: got to see what it was actually like, so I
9:37
Speaker 1: went into it without any misconceptions.
9:39
Speaker 3: But that's also another point.
9:40
Speaker 4: It's like, if you have two parents that are in
9:43
Speaker 4: the industry of entertainment, it's not like you're going to
9:46
Speaker 4: be attracted to plumbing and you're gonna say, oh, I
9:50
Speaker 4: want it, or accounting or any of the other vocations.
9:53
Speaker 4: It's natural for children to have two parents that are
9:57
Speaker 4: in some industry to also become a person that is
10:00
Speaker 4: in that industry.
10:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, even if their lawyers are a plumber.
10:02
Speaker 3: Like you said, get very defensive on your behalf. I
10:05
Speaker 3: hope you can. I hope you can feel my aggravation.
10:08
Speaker 1: Fantastic.
10:09
Speaker 4: I sound like I'm an EPO baby, but I wanted
10:12
Speaker 4: to be an EPO baby.
10:13
Speaker 3: That would have been a dream come true for me.
10:15
Speaker 4: But no, Okay, this is something that that you talk
10:18
Speaker 4: about in the very first chapter or the introduction of
10:21
Speaker 4: your book that I just want to read on the
10:22
Speaker 4: podcast because I thought it was so fucking bold and
10:24
Speaker 4: great and such a thing that a man could do.
10:27
Speaker 3: She's talking about her dad.
10:29
Speaker 4: And he walked in to a producer in Chicago with
10:33
Speaker 4: a copy of his first Broadway play, American Buffalo, and
10:36
Speaker 4: without a penny to his name. He threw the play
10:38
Speaker 4: down on the producer's desk they had hard copies in
10:41
Speaker 4: those days, and said, if that play doesn't win the
10:44
Speaker 4: Pulitzer Prize, I'll pay you five thousand dollars.
10:46
Speaker 3: It did not, but the next one did.
10:49
Speaker 4: The brazenness of that and the confidence of that is like,
10:56
Speaker 4: it's what I want for every woman to feel.
10:59
Speaker 1: I know, it's pretty crazy, right, like never a day,
11:04
Speaker 1: never a day in my life, or if I did
11:06
Speaker 1: that immediately followed by an apology.
11:13
Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, I mean, we still say we're sorry if
11:15
Speaker 4: we cough, yeah, I'm sorry.
11:17
Speaker 1: I could get to the point of doing it, and
11:19
Speaker 1: then the second I had finished being like I am
11:22
Speaker 1: powerful woman, hear me where I'd be like, I'm so sorry.
11:25
Speaker 1: That was really inappropriate. I didn't actually I'm I'm going
11:30
Speaker 1: to leave your lunches on me, like yeah.
11:33
Speaker 4: I also hate when we say I'm sorry. When we
11:35
Speaker 4: start to cry, we always go i'm so sorry. It's like,
11:37
Speaker 4: why why are we sorry that we're crying we're feeling emotions.
11:40
Speaker 2: When we correct someone else's mistake, it's like, I'm sorry,
11:43
Speaker 2: but this is actually no.
11:44
Speaker 4: Yeah, don't know, I know, I know, there's so much
11:46
Speaker 4: there's too much material to talk about that.
11:48
Speaker 1: I mean, please, sorry, but you're reading that book upside down.
11:51
Speaker 1: I'm really sorry, but.
11:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, you say something here on this is something
11:55
Speaker 4: I talk a lot about on this podcast, whether it's writers, actors.
12:00
Speaker 4: If you say I didn't yet have the career I want,
12:02
Speaker 4: and I spend an unhealthy amount of time thinking about
12:04
Speaker 4: women my age who do and wishing them not harm
12:07
Speaker 4: per se, but maybe hoping that they change their names
12:09
Speaker 4: and move to Siberia for a few years and give
12:12
Speaker 4: me a shot at bat for a while. To most people,
12:14
Speaker 4: I've had a very successful career, for which I am
12:17
Speaker 4: intertally grateful.
12:18
Speaker 3: I would like to talk about jealousy a little bit
12:20
Speaker 3: and envy.
12:21
Speaker 4: Because I also feel like that is a healthy, normal
12:25
Speaker 4: feeling for anyone in any any part of the world.
12:29
Speaker 4: It doesn't matter what industry you are in to feel
12:32
Speaker 4: there is nothing wrong with feeling envy. It's acting on
12:35
Speaker 4: envy where things become problematic. So I love that you
12:39
Speaker 4: wrote that in the book. Do you want to talk
12:41
Speaker 4: a little bit about that.
12:42
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do think that it's normal. I think it
12:45
Speaker 1: would be weird if we didn't feel that way. I
12:49
Speaker 1: do think that it can reach an unhealthy, abnormal level
12:55
Speaker 1: in this industry, specifically amongst women, because I think we're
13:00
Speaker 1: fed this idea in the entertainment industry. I mean, I
13:04
Speaker 1: don't know I guess, being women in general in any industry,
13:08
Speaker 1: that there's a finite amount of pie to be had,
13:12
Speaker 1: and so if someone else gets a piece of it,
13:16
Speaker 1: that means that there's less for you. And I just
13:21
Speaker 1: don't think at the end of the day that that's
13:24
Speaker 1: actually accurate. I think that that's untrue, and like, if
13:29
Speaker 1: you want to get really heavy, part of me is like,
13:32
Speaker 1: is that a deep seated move on the patriarchy, because
13:36
Speaker 1: like if we were to all band together, we would
13:39
Speaker 1: just be too fucking powerful to like kind of pit
13:43
Speaker 1: us against each other.
13:45
Speaker 3: I think that's absolutely true. I mean that's the whole
13:48
Speaker 3: point of it.
13:48
Speaker 4: I mean, because women are just now coming to the
13:51
Speaker 4: realization that we're stronger together, you know, and that all
13:54
Speaker 4: ships do rise with the tide.
13:56
Speaker 1: I think that's really accurate. I think they all I
13:58
Speaker 1: have to say out a lot, but I think this
14:02
Speaker 1: is an industry that is so success oriented, Like it's
14:06
Speaker 1: you're not getting brownie points for the script you wrote
14:11
Speaker 1: that didn't get produced, you know, like, and the most talented,
14:15
Speaker 1: nice person doesn't always get the job, and so I
14:18
Speaker 1: think it can foster a sort of unhealthy comparison game.
14:24
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say comparison. Yeah, and so I
14:26
Speaker 1: think I think that it is healthy to a certain extent.
14:30
Speaker 1: I think it is one thousand percent normal. But I think,
14:33
Speaker 1: specifically in this industry, I do a lot of work
14:37
Speaker 1: trying to check myself of just like mem it, stay
14:40
Speaker 1: in your own lane, Just stay in your like stop
14:43
Speaker 1: doing this, and just like stay in your own lane.
14:47
Speaker 4: You have a pretty heartbreaking chapter in here about school
14:50
Speaker 4: as a young girl and going to school because your
14:52
Speaker 4: parents split up before you were even a year old,
14:54
Speaker 4: and then you were living in Cambridge initially, right, and
14:57
Speaker 4: then you moved with your mother, and then that created
15:00
Speaker 4: some separation between you and your dad, and then they
15:02
Speaker 4: both went on to have other children and other families.
15:06
Speaker 4: So your first kind of formative years at school were brutal.
15:10
Speaker 4: It was kind of, you know, really triggering to read,
15:13
Speaker 4: because I mean, we've all been there, you know, and
15:16
Speaker 4: some worse than others, but yours sounded like you withstood
15:20
Speaker 4: that trauma for as long as you possibly could and
15:24
Speaker 4: then had to say I can't do this anymore.
15:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, and like too long looking back on it. But
15:30
Speaker 1: also I was a kid and I didn't know I
15:34
Speaker 1: didn't really know that I could say that, but yeah,
15:37
Speaker 1: it got to the point where I was unable to
15:41
Speaker 1: handle it. Like those all the kids, but I think
15:45
Speaker 1: those girls in particular were really They just seemed to
15:49
Speaker 1: live to make my life miserable.
15:52
Speaker 4: Tell why don't you tell us the story about the
15:54
Speaker 4: birthday party and revealing being invited to the birthday party
15:59
Speaker 4: and having to call and find out what time it was.
16:03
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, this is like a perfect example. They
16:04
Speaker 1: would pull this shit all the time. They would sort
16:08
Speaker 1: of lure me into asking a question about some things.
16:12
Speaker 1: They were talking about something in front of me, and
16:14
Speaker 1: I was like, well, are you guys talking about They
16:15
Speaker 1: were like, oh, we're talking about I forget what I
16:18
Speaker 1: renamed the d's birthday party. Yeah, And I was like, oh,
16:22
Speaker 1: when is it? They were like, it's on Saturday. It
16:25
Speaker 1: was like what time. They're like, we're not sure. You
16:27
Speaker 1: should call her and ask what time it is, like
16:29
Speaker 1: she hasn't told any of us, so we're waiting to
16:32
Speaker 1: find out. And I was like, okay, great. So then
16:34
Speaker 1: I go home and I call Evie and I'm like, hey, Evy,
16:37
Speaker 1: all the girls were talking about your birthday party on Saturday,
16:39
Speaker 1: and they told me to call you and ask what
16:40
Speaker 1: time it is? What time is it? And then she
16:43
Speaker 1: started hysterically sobbing and hung up the phone. And then
16:46
Speaker 1: I get a call from a bunch of the girls,
16:48
Speaker 1: you know, a couple of minutes later, chastising me for
16:52
Speaker 1: ruining Evie's surprise birthday party. So they would just set
16:56
Speaker 1: these traps for me. Mind games, one thousand percent mind games.
17:03
Speaker 1: They were full like Machiavellian. These young little blonde ladies,
17:09
Speaker 1: I mean, young little.
17:10
Speaker 3: Girls are brutal.
17:11
Speaker 4: And for every woman here who's listening to this podcast,
17:13
Speaker 4: like anyone who has children, it is so important to
17:18
Speaker 4: teach your children kindness and compassion and not to be bullies.
17:22
Speaker 4: Like I've had friends whose daughters have been billies and
17:25
Speaker 4: they were in complete denial about it because they chose
17:29
Speaker 4: to believe their daughter was a bully.
17:30
Speaker 3: It is so important. I mean, it is tortuous when you.
17:34
Speaker 4: Are young and in defend like you don't know how
17:37
Speaker 4: to defend yourself, and you don't know where to go
17:39
Speaker 4: or who to talk to, and you know, it leads
17:42
Speaker 4: to so many problems in life. And for like, I
17:45
Speaker 4: saw this beautiful video yesterday on Instagram of this boy
17:49
Speaker 4: wrestling at this wrestling match, and he was wrestling this
17:53
Speaker 4: kid who had cerebral palsy, whose.
17:56
Speaker 3: Team allowed him to compete.
17:57
Speaker 4: You know, at this level, they were looked like they
17:59
Speaker 4: were in sixth or seventh grade. And the kid from
18:02
Speaker 4: the other school immediately recognized, you know, how easy it
18:05
Speaker 4: would be to beat this kid, and he sat there
18:07
Speaker 4: with him and let him, like slowly, slowly help this
18:12
Speaker 4: guy wrestle him to the ground so that he would
18:14
Speaker 4: win that match. And every comment was like, whoever raised
18:18
Speaker 4: this boy did such a beautiful job, Like, and that's
18:22
Speaker 4: what I think about with regard to bullying. It's like
18:25
Speaker 4: your parents have to be paying attention to how their children,
18:28
Speaker 4: especially young girls, because they are brutal. And I know
18:31
Speaker 4: that we have problems with young boys too, but girls
18:34
Speaker 4: are just so mean to each other, and like, you
18:37
Speaker 4: cannot have your child behaving that way. And it's very
18:40
Speaker 4: illustrative in this book of what you went through, so
18:42
Speaker 4: I think people are going to really like you know,
18:44
Speaker 4: I know I went through somehow growing up too.
18:46
Speaker 3: And then you end up becoming a bully.
18:48
Speaker 4: You either end up retreating and having an eating disorder,
18:52
Speaker 4: this disorder, you know, having no self esteem, or you
18:54
Speaker 4: end up becoming the bully that bullied you in order
18:57
Speaker 4: to defend yourself. So your story is also great because
19:02
Speaker 4: that woman or that girl at the time, who's named
19:05
Speaker 4: Evie in the book, comes to see.
19:07
Speaker 3: You during were You? Was it the play on Broadway?
19:09
Speaker 3: When she came with her father?
19:12
Speaker 1: We were off Broadway? Was the play that I met
19:13
Speaker 1: my husband doing. We were doing it at the Littel.
19:17
Speaker 3: And tell us what happened she came.
19:19
Speaker 1: Yeah, So I left one night and the security guard
19:21
Speaker 1: told me that someone had left a note for me
19:24
Speaker 1: while we were on stage. I and he gave me
19:27
Speaker 1: the note. And I hadn't thought about this girl. It's
19:31
Speaker 1: in over a decade, and I guess she and her
19:34
Speaker 1: dad had been walking by the theater and they had
19:37
Speaker 1: seen my name on the marquee and they'd written a
19:41
Speaker 1: note and left it with the box office. And it
19:44
Speaker 1: was in her like you know, little curly cue scirwl
19:47
Speaker 1: and she's like, oh my god, Sash, We're so proud
19:51
Speaker 1: of you. And it just made my blood run cold.
19:56
Speaker 1: It like took me back to being that little girl
20:00
Speaker 1: with her playing these horrible nine games on me, and
20:04
Speaker 1: it made me so angry because I think that feeling
20:09
Speaker 1: pride for someone innately involves a type of ownership is
20:15
Speaker 1: the wrong word, but like you had a hand in that.
20:18
Speaker 1: When you're like, I'm so proud of you, it normally
20:20
Speaker 1: means that like you have a deep connection to that person,
20:22
Speaker 1: or maybe you had a hand in them accomplishing whatever
20:25
Speaker 1: this thing was. And it made me so deeply furious.
20:30
Speaker 1: I was like, you don't get to be proud of me.
20:34
Speaker 1: You don't get to have that. And I tore up
20:37
Speaker 1: the note and I ground it into the New York
20:41
Speaker 1: sidewalk with my boot.
20:43
Speaker 3: So you don't know that they saw the play, you
20:45
Speaker 3: just did? They didn't.
20:47
Speaker 1: It literally just walked by and saw my name on
20:50
Speaker 1: the marquee, which also I was just like, that's okay, okay,
20:55
Speaker 1: I don't know. It wasn't even like they paid for
20:57
Speaker 1: and bought a ticket and came to see what I did.
21:00
Speaker 4: Right exactly, Let's talk about your eating disorder. And I
21:04
Speaker 4: say that in an upbeat tone for no reason whatsoever,
21:08
Speaker 4: but just because I'm assuming that you're out of the
21:11
Speaker 4: woods on that issue, Am I correct?
21:13
Speaker 1: Now? O? Good?
21:15
Speaker 3: You talk a lot.
21:15
Speaker 4: About this and about this number in your head, one
21:19
Speaker 4: hundred pounds, one hundred pounds that.
21:21
Speaker 3: Was the right weight.
21:21
Speaker 4: And even when you went underneath one hundred pounds to
21:25
Speaker 4: ninety two pounds to ninety three pounds, you were sick,
21:28
Speaker 4: you were using drugs, you were partying, you were escaping.
21:33
Speaker 4: Talk to us a little bit about that for the
21:36
Speaker 4: people that are listening, with children and girls that are
21:38
Speaker 4: experiencing that that are listening.
21:40
Speaker 1: You know, I think the biggest misconception about an eating
21:44
Speaker 1: disorder is that that it's about the weight and that
21:48
Speaker 1: it's about the food, which, like, obviously, yes, that is
21:51
Speaker 1: an aspect of it, but at its core, it's about control,
21:55
Speaker 1: and it's born from this need to control when you
22:00
Speaker 1: feel out of control, and so food and your weight
22:05
Speaker 1: feel like these very tangible things, when like the thing
22:08
Speaker 1: that probably is making you feel out of control is
22:13
Speaker 1: not tangible whatsoever. Like for me, it was my circumstance,
22:16
Speaker 1: my surroundings, the kids that I was in school with,
22:20
Speaker 1: my home life, and so my anxiety eating disorder brain
22:25
Speaker 1: latched onto this number that felt like if I can
22:29
Speaker 1: just achieve that number, then all of these feelings of
22:34
Speaker 1: fear and worthlessness and sadness will go away and I
22:38
Speaker 1: will finally feel safe. But obviously that wasn't true because
22:45
Speaker 1: I hit that number and none of those feelings went
22:49
Speaker 1: away and I didn't feel safe, and so I was like, Okay,
22:52
Speaker 1: well maybe it's still that number, but I just have
22:55
Speaker 1: to try harder. It's like your brain starts to make
23:00
Speaker 1: excuses as to why the thing you've decided is the
23:04
Speaker 1: answer is still the answer, when obviously it very much isn't.
23:08
Speaker 1: And so I just kept trying to reach one hundred pounds.
23:13
Speaker 1: It was a sort of amorphous goal in my mind
23:16
Speaker 1: that seemed like the silver bullet to all of my problems,
23:21
Speaker 1: and it really wasn't. It was actually just slowly killing me.
23:26
Speaker 4: And how did you finally come out of that? Did
23:29
Speaker 4: you go into treatment?
23:30
Speaker 1: I almost went into in treatment. I didn't, And honestly,
23:33
Speaker 1: looking back on it, I do not envy a parent
23:37
Speaker 1: who is dealing with this. I can only like it
23:39
Speaker 1: was obviously hard for me. I think it was so
23:41
Speaker 1: much harder for my dad to feel helpless as well
23:45
Speaker 1: on the other side of it. And I'm sure it
23:48
Speaker 1: is so hard to put a kid in treatment, and
23:53
Speaker 1: he tried, and I fought back really hard, and I
23:56
Speaker 1: honestly wish that I had, because I think my recovery
23:59
Speaker 1: would of taken is law, you know. I think in
24:03
Speaker 1: treatment programs are there for a reason. But really I
24:07
Speaker 1: have my dad to credit with finally turning the ship around.
24:11
Speaker 1: I was really in a bad way. I'd seen a
24:13
Speaker 1: lot of doctors who basically were like, you are You're dying,
24:17
Speaker 1: that's what's happening. Like your body is disintegrating and you're dying.
24:21
Speaker 4: And how brittle your bones were that they told you, like,
24:24
Speaker 4: you know, if you fell down, you could potentially break
24:26
Speaker 4: your pelvis like that. You had just had no nutrition.
24:30
Speaker 1: No nutrition, Yeah, I had. I had arthritis. I couldn't
24:35
Speaker 1: ride horses anymore. I could like barely walk up a
24:37
Speaker 1: set of stairs like I had. I had issues with
24:42
Speaker 1: my heart. It was it was really bad. And my
24:44
Speaker 1: dad came home from a dinner party one night where
24:47
Speaker 1: he'd sat next to someone whose daughter had recently gone
24:51
Speaker 1: through the same thing and had sort of come out
24:53
Speaker 1: the other side, and he ended up opening up to
24:55
Speaker 1: her and she talked to him for the whole dinner party,
24:58
Speaker 1: and she gave him the number of this woman who
25:00
Speaker 1: then become my therapist, who was incredible and fully saved
25:04
Speaker 1: my life. But he came home and I was up
25:07
Speaker 1: reading in my bedroom and he came into my room
25:09
Speaker 1: and he sat on my bed, and my dad, as
25:12
Speaker 1: I'm sure you can imagine, is like a very strong,
25:15
Speaker 1: oftentimes very stoic person, and I'd never seen him cry,
25:21
Speaker 1: and he started crying and he put his head in
25:24
Speaker 1: my lap and he said, you have to promise me
25:28
Speaker 1: that you won't die, and you just kept saying it
25:31
Speaker 1: over and over again. And it was the first time
25:33
Speaker 1: that I realized that what was happening to me wasn't
25:38
Speaker 1: just about me, and it was really my wake up call.
25:44
Speaker 1: And I realized that if I died, it wouldn't just
25:48
Speaker 1: affect me, it would also affect him. And I was like, Okay, well,
25:51
Speaker 1: I don't want to do that to him. I don't
25:53
Speaker 1: really care about me yet, but I don't want to
25:55
Speaker 1: do that to him. Yeah.
25:57
Speaker 3: Wow, that's really moving.
25:59
Speaker 4: It's amazing when you know somebody can say something like
26:02
Speaker 4: that to you and it has the impact that is
26:04
Speaker 4: strong enough to make you quit the thing, or to
26:07
Speaker 4: make you understand that you have to quit the thing
26:09
Speaker 4: that is going to destroy you and destroy the lives
26:12
Speaker 4: of the people that love you. Yeah, okay, let's talk
26:15
Speaker 4: about some let's talk about girls. Let's talk about getting
26:18
Speaker 4: that role and working with Lena and how that experience
26:23
Speaker 4: changed your life. I mean, first of all, best fucking
26:26
Speaker 4: show ever, so great, so fucking awesome. I mean I
26:29
Speaker 4: remember watching that show the first time. I was like,
26:31
Speaker 4: this is going to be a huge because I think
26:33
Speaker 4: I was interviewing Lena.
26:34
Speaker 3: Probably on Chelsea Lately or maybe my other talk show.
26:37
Speaker 4: And I so I saw it before it was out
26:40
Speaker 4: and I got to watch the whole series. I was like,
26:42
Speaker 4: this is going to be fucking huge, And of course
26:45
Speaker 4: it was because it was just exactly what everybody needed.
26:48
Speaker 4: It was like your generations, Sex and the City just
26:52
Speaker 4: such a coming of age in New York City, so funny,
26:55
Speaker 4: so well cast, all of everybody in it was incredible.
26:58
Speaker 4: So tell us about getting that part. How that happened.
27:02
Speaker 1: I was shooting this movie. This is like truly terrible
27:05
Speaker 1: indie film in upstate New York with horrible conditions, like
27:11
Speaker 1: you know, nineteen twenty hour days all told in we
27:16
Speaker 1: were meant to be cheating early September, and it was
27:20
Speaker 1: late October and it was the coldest October on record.
27:23
Speaker 1: It was so cold that the farmers were all like
27:26
Speaker 1: there will be no pumpkins for Halloween because our crops
27:28
Speaker 1: have frozen. So it was like some sort of record
27:31
Speaker 1: breaking cold. And I was always basically ninety percent of
27:35
Speaker 1: the movie was exteriors, and I was always in this
27:39
Speaker 1: tank top trash bag dress. It was like literally a
27:42
Speaker 1: dress made of trash bags that I had to get
27:45
Speaker 1: ironed into every day, which is really, looking back on it,
27:48
Speaker 1: like should have been my first sign that this was
27:50
Speaker 1: not going to be a good experience because I was
27:52
Speaker 1: like literally wearing trash And I got this audition. We
27:57
Speaker 1: were shooting six day weeks, so I had one day off,
28:00
Speaker 1: and I convinced this young pa not to go to
28:04
Speaker 1: church with her husband and her newborn baby and instead
28:08
Speaker 1: stay behind and help me film this audition in our
28:12
Speaker 1: production office, which was an abandoned barn that had very
28:17
Speaker 1: bad WI FI. And I'm pretty technologically inept, so we
28:24
Speaker 1: filmed the audition. It takes me like seven hours to
28:29
Speaker 1: get the tape to send to my agent, which almost
28:32
Speaker 1: doesn't happen. At like hour three or four, I was like,
28:35
Speaker 1: I give up, I can't get this to send to
28:37
Speaker 1: keep saying your file is too large, and he was like, please, please, please, please,
28:41
Speaker 1: I really need your tape. I think this show is
28:43
Speaker 1: going to be a really big deal. So I finally
28:45
Speaker 1: get in my tape. I end up getting the job.
28:48
Speaker 1: We happen to have the Monday off that the table
28:51
Speaker 1: read is scheduled for in Manhattan, And at this point
28:56
Speaker 1: I've developed pneumonia from these long days shooting in the
29:00
Speaker 1: colds in my trash back dress. But the producers have
29:03
Speaker 1: paid off a local doctor to tell me that I
29:07
Speaker 1: just have a head cold so that I can keep working.
29:10
Speaker 1: They pay How did you find that out the PA's talk,
29:13
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So the woman who was
29:16
Speaker 1: like the PA that I spent the most time with
29:19
Speaker 1: ended up giving me the skinny. Also, I sort of
29:22
Speaker 1: put it together anyways, because she kept showing up and
29:25
Speaker 1: listening to me, like breathing, and literally it sounded like,
29:29
Speaker 1: you know, like a water cooler in my lungs. There
29:31
Speaker 1: was so much fluid. And she would be like, just
29:35
Speaker 1: take some echinesia, and I was like, I feel like
29:37
Speaker 1: we're beyond that.
29:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, achanesia.
29:41
Speaker 4: And it's like when people talk about melotonin, it's like place.
29:44
Speaker 5: Yeah.
29:44
Speaker 1: I was so sick. I was like at Death Store.
29:49
Speaker 1: I would cough so hard i'd throw up like it
29:51
Speaker 1: was not cute. So I came in that Sunday night
29:57
Speaker 1: before and I stayed with a friend of mine in
29:59
Speaker 1: the city, and I was like, I really want to
30:02
Speaker 1: be I want to be on my A game tomorrow.
30:05
Speaker 1: I was super nervous. It's like, I need to get
30:07
Speaker 1: a good night's sleep so I can like be with
30:09
Speaker 1: it tomorrow morning. So I took some niightq Wuill and
30:13
Speaker 1: I I'm sure I took Nike Will before this, but
30:16
Speaker 1: I don't really have a recollection of doing so. But
30:21
Speaker 1: I now know that Nike Will and I don't mesh well.
30:25
Speaker 1: I don't remember much about the following morning. I remember
30:29
Speaker 1: getting in the car, I remember it was raining, I
30:31
Speaker 1: remember getting to Silver Crep Studios, walking into the table Read.
30:38
Speaker 1: I remember being introduced to Lena Dunham and Jedd Apatout
30:42
Speaker 1: and shaking their hands, and then I literally do not
30:46
Speaker 1: remember anything, like nothing. It is a full void until
30:51
Speaker 1: I woke up on my friend's floor who I was
30:55
Speaker 1: staying with, like drenched in sweat, and I had this
31:00
Speaker 1: weird sort of fever dream recollection that I in the
31:06
Speaker 1: middle of the table read had like projectile vomited on
31:09
Speaker 1: the table, but I also didn't know if that was
31:13
Speaker 1: real or not because I was still sort of in
31:16
Speaker 1: a niqual haze. So I called my agent freaking out
31:21
Speaker 1: and I was like, so this may have happened, but
31:24
Speaker 1: I'm not sure, and he was like, Okay, calm down,
31:29
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's gonna be fine. I'm gonna call the executives.
31:32
Speaker 1: I'll get back to you. Meanwhile, I had to like
31:34
Speaker 1: get on a train and high tail it back to
31:37
Speaker 1: hell Town, upstate New York, finished shooting this movie that
31:42
Speaker 1: I wore a trash bag dress in and I don't
31:46
Speaker 1: hear from him for a full week, during which I'm like, yeah,
31:50
Speaker 1: that face exactly.
31:51
Speaker 3: I'm I'm like like, don't you how did you not?
31:55
Speaker 3: Did you to call him and call him?
31:56
Speaker 1: And Gallo yeah, and he like I would call him,
31:58
Speaker 1: but he was like, I haven't heard from them, and
32:00
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god. So obviously I'm fired,
32:05
Speaker 1: Like for sure, no question, I'm fired, But like, beyond that,
32:09
Speaker 1: they're going to tell everybody I'm a drug addict. They're
32:12
Speaker 1: going to tell everybody not to work with me, Like
32:15
Speaker 1: I'm fucked. So then after a week of just full spiral,
32:21
Speaker 1: he calls me, and he's like, the reason it took
32:23
Speaker 1: them so long to get back to us is that
32:26
Speaker 1: they were amending your contract. They loved what you did
32:29
Speaker 1: so much at the table read that they want to
32:32
Speaker 1: make you a series regular because initially the show was
32:35
Speaker 1: written for three girls, not four, and they were like,
32:39
Speaker 1: they want to make you the fourth girl.
32:41
Speaker 4: Oh that's so fucking awesome. I mean, who knows what
32:46
Speaker 4: happened during that table read. Maybe that's how you should
32:49
Speaker 4: go into all table reads truly.
32:52
Speaker 1: I'm like, do I just take Nike will always?
32:54
Speaker 4: You should just get like a vaccine the day you
32:56
Speaker 4: have to go it. Yeah, yeah, Jesse, I just got
33:00
Speaker 4: my polio booster vaccine yesterday since there's polio going around
33:03
Speaker 4: all all of a sudden again. And they were like, oh,
33:06
Speaker 4: you might be sick for the next few days. And
33:08
Speaker 4: I was like, oh, that's what you're describing. I mean,
33:10
Speaker 4: basically I could have symptoms. I don't have them, but
33:13
Speaker 4: because I'm a fucking horse. But oh, that's really funny.
33:17
Speaker 3: Yeah. And so what was it like, how was it?
33:19
Speaker 3: How was it? What was it like working with Lena
33:21
Speaker 3: and the other girls.
33:23
Speaker 1: It was just a dream, like that whole we shot
33:26
Speaker 1: that show all told from like shooting the pilot to
33:28
Speaker 1: our last episode was seven years.
33:30
Speaker 4: I spent my twenties shooting that show. I like the
33:33
Speaker 4: number seven as a time of work. I feel like
33:35
Speaker 4: the reason that there's a phrase of seven year itch
33:37
Speaker 4: because it's so true, Like seven years is a great
33:40
Speaker 4: amount of time to spend in a relationship on a job,
33:43
Speaker 4: Like seven years is a good like chunk, and it's
33:47
Speaker 4: it doesn't take away like it's a great addition.
33:50
Speaker 3: And it doesn't.
33:51
Speaker 4: It's not too long when you like when you have
33:53
Speaker 4: a good experience with something. It's just the perfect amount
33:56
Speaker 4: of time. I think there's something about the number seven.
33:59
Speaker 1: It's a good about it.
34:01
Speaker 3: Okay, so we're going to take a break.
34:02
Speaker 4: We'll take a break right now, and we'll be right
34:04
Speaker 4: back with Zasha Mabbot.
34:06
Speaker 5: This week.
34:06
Speaker 2: We're looking for folks to write in. If you're in
34:08
Speaker 2: the middle of a career transition, and especially if you've
34:11
Speaker 2: just been fired, please write into Dear Chelsea podcast at
34:14
Speaker 2: gmail dot com.
34:19
Speaker 3: And we're back with Zasha Mabbott.
34:21
Speaker 4: Okay, So, this book is filled with lots of stories.
34:25
Speaker 4: Some are really sad, some are really sweet, and some
34:28
Speaker 4: are really moving. And some are really really funny. Yes,
34:30
Speaker 4: I would say this book. I think this book does
34:32
Speaker 4: make you funny. That's the title of the book. Does
34:34
Speaker 4: this make me funny? I think you're already funny. So
34:37
Speaker 4: it was good that you put it down on paper.
34:39
Speaker 4: How did you decide to write this right now?
34:41
Speaker 1: So it wasn't my decision. When I pitched that book
34:47
Speaker 1: my first Popsicle, the woman who ended up becoming my
34:51
Speaker 1: editor at Penguins, woman Meg Letter, who's amazing, had asked
34:55
Speaker 1: if I would consider doing a two book deal and
34:58
Speaker 1: doing Popsicle Verse, but then and following it up with
35:01
Speaker 1: the book of essays.
35:02
Speaker 3: And this was like.
35:05
Speaker 1: Five years ago at this point, maybe more.
35:07
Speaker 4: That's a very interesting way for the publishing industry to
35:09
Speaker 4: work before you've proven yourself, to give you offer you
35:12
Speaker 4: a two book deal.
35:13
Speaker 1: Though, Well, I think she'd read my essays in Glamor,
35:17
Speaker 1: and so I think she was like, Oh, I've since
35:20
Speaker 1: learned that anthologies are very hard. They're hard for people
35:26
Speaker 1: to put together, they're hard for people to sell. I
35:29
Speaker 1: was like, what could be cooler than like a bunch
35:32
Speaker 1: of amazing people all in the same place writing their stories.
35:36
Speaker 1: But I guess I'm sort of maybe alone in that
35:38
Speaker 1: or I'm not that's not the popular thought. So she
35:43
Speaker 1: kind of agreed to do my anthology essay idea, but
35:48
Speaker 1: really what she had wanted was this book of essays,
35:52
Speaker 1: and I was super shocked that she asked for that.
35:57
Speaker 1: I was like, I mean, I write this column for Glamor.
36:00
Speaker 1: Who wants to read a full book of my essays?
36:02
Speaker 1: But I said yes because I'm an actor and I'll
36:06
Speaker 1: say yes to any job anyone wants to give me
36:09
Speaker 1: that they pay me money for pretty much. I just
36:14
Speaker 1: like didn't think it would ever actually happen, Like I
36:17
Speaker 1: think in my brain, I was like, yeah, yeah, I'm
36:20
Speaker 1: saying yes to this, but we're going to do this
36:21
Speaker 1: anthology and then like I don't know, but they'll probably
36:24
Speaker 1: forget about this one, or they'll like change their mind
36:27
Speaker 1: or something. And it takes so long to write and
36:31
Speaker 1: publish a book. I mean, you know, it's like it
36:34
Speaker 1: takes like seven thousand years from the moment procise.
36:37
Speaker 4: It could only be described as tedious and annoying because
36:41
Speaker 4: you are so creative, you feel like you're putting so
36:44
Speaker 4: much in and then what follows all the creative bursts
36:48
Speaker 4: and blasts and all of this like Catharsis and sharing
36:54
Speaker 4: is so tedious the book. You know, once they put
36:57
Speaker 4: the book actually together, it's just like one task after
37:00
Speaker 4: another that you're like, way to take the fucking fun
37:02
Speaker 4: out of this.
37:03
Speaker 1: By the time we were talking about what kind of
37:06
Speaker 1: font like the numbers would be next to that, I
37:10
Speaker 1: was just like, I'm out, Just I don't care.
37:13
Speaker 3: You could do it my last book. For the cover.
37:15
Speaker 4: I was like, can you just find a fucking shot
37:16
Speaker 4: that matches what we're doing? Like, do we really need
37:18
Speaker 4: to do a photo shoot for this cover? They're like,
37:21
Speaker 4: most people get excited about this.
37:22
Speaker 3: I'm like, not me. I'm not excited to shoot another
37:24
Speaker 3: book cover.
37:25
Speaker 1: That was the one thing that I really held Firman,
37:28
Speaker 1: though I knew that I wanted my buddy Danny Sangre
37:32
Speaker 1: to design the cover. He's an incredible filmmaker, he'sil's an
37:36
Speaker 1: amazing visual artist, and he is one of my dearest
37:39
Speaker 1: friends and knows me so well. I just have to
37:41
Speaker 1: be like, Danny, can you do my cover? And he'll
37:43
Speaker 1: make it perfect. And they kept sending me these options
37:47
Speaker 1: that were like great, but just I was like no,
37:51
Speaker 1: and they made me jump through so many because I
37:54
Speaker 1: now know they like to keep it internal, and I
37:56
Speaker 1: just was like, every time they would send me an
37:58
Speaker 1: email with options, I would write back, can Danny please
38:01
Speaker 1: design my cover? And they finally said yes, But we
38:05
Speaker 1: did Popsicle. I loved doing it because I wrote one
38:10
Speaker 1: essay and then I just got it to edit a
38:12
Speaker 1: bunch of other brilliant people's work and by edit basically
38:16
Speaker 1: be like, thanks so much, it looks great. So when
38:20
Speaker 1: we when that came out, I was like, Okay, Meg,
38:23
Speaker 1: my editor, can we do another one of these? And
38:26
Speaker 1: she was like, well, no, because now you have to
38:29
Speaker 1: write your book. And I was like, right, but can
38:31
Speaker 1: we do another one of these? And I'll do that
38:32
Speaker 1: after And she was like no, because you're contractually obligated
38:35
Speaker 1: to write this book first.
38:37
Speaker 4: Okay, we're going to take a couple of callers and
38:39
Speaker 4: give them advice life advice, Sasha, Okay, that's what we
38:42
Speaker 4: do here, Dear Chelsea. Yeah, let's do it. Nothing better
38:45
Speaker 4: than an outside perspective. What do we got, Catherine. Well,
38:48
Speaker 4: our first caller is Alex. He says, Dear Chelsea. I'm
38:51
Speaker 4: a thirty six year old gay guy and I am
38:53
Speaker 4: chronically online. I have a good full time job, and
38:56
Speaker 4: most people that know me hold me in high esteem.
38:59
Speaker 2: But I I'm absolutely obsessed with Instagram and threats.
39:02
Speaker 3: Mostly.
39:03
Speaker 2: I always get into fights in the comments, especially about politics.
39:08
Speaker 2: I always think I have the best points to make,
39:10
Speaker 2: and often maybe I do, But I know that my
39:12
Speaker 2: comments are unlikely to really result in epiphanies where mega
39:15
Speaker 2: people will change their ways. I figured, since I don't
39:18
Speaker 2: argue with family or friends, what's the harm. But I
39:21
Speaker 2: comment so often that on popular pages, my friends will
39:24
Speaker 2: see what I've written, and everyone knows how chronically online
39:27
Speaker 2: and combat if I am help Alex.
39:30
Speaker 4: Hi, Alex Hey, Chelsea Hi, this is our special guest
39:34
Speaker 4: Sasha Mammot today.
39:35
Speaker 3: Oh hey, hey, hey listen.
39:39
Speaker 1: Hi.
39:39
Speaker 4: As fun and as addicting as social media it can be,
39:44
Speaker 4: well addicting it is, and as fun as it can be,
39:48
Speaker 4: it is not good for your brain. You are not
39:51
Speaker 4: feeding your brain when you are on social media.
39:54
Speaker 3: So you need to start detoxing.
39:56
Speaker 4: And by detoxing, I mean you need to like you
40:00
Speaker 4: can start small. You can start with an hour a
40:02
Speaker 4: day that you turn your phone off and put it somewhere.
40:06
Speaker 3: Just put it away somewhere when you get home.
40:08
Speaker 4: From work or your most vulnerable time, wherever you feel
40:11
Speaker 4: it the most. But you have to understand, like there
40:14
Speaker 4: are so many articles if you just google what does
40:17
Speaker 4: social media do to your brain?
40:19
Speaker 3: You can read it's going to make you sick.
40:22
Speaker 4: You can't spend that much time a online looking at
40:26
Speaker 4: other people's lives is not healthy.
40:28
Speaker 3: You need to fucking read a book. That's what you
40:30
Speaker 3: need to be doing, and.
40:31
Speaker 4: You need to You need to get into the habit
40:34
Speaker 4: of when you don't have anything to do that you're
40:36
Speaker 4: reading a book because you're addicted. You have an addiction
40:39
Speaker 4: and now you have to detox from your addiction.
40:42
Speaker 6: Healthy but ours I.
40:43
Speaker 4: Know, I know, but it's true. It's like it's not
40:46
Speaker 4: good for us. And listen, we all are dealing with this.
40:49
Speaker 4: You're not alone. But you can take steps like don't
40:54
Speaker 4: you want to be a more well rounded person? You
40:57
Speaker 4: don't want to just be somebody who's arguing online and
41:00
Speaker 4: are trying to make brilliant points online to what availed?
41:03
Speaker 3: Like what is that going to get you? What does
41:05
Speaker 3: it give you?
41:06
Speaker 6: It gives me some satisfaction when I win.
41:10
Speaker 3: How do you How does winning What does winning look like?
41:13
Speaker 6: Winning to me looks like when the other person maybe
41:17
Speaker 6: ends up blocking me because in my head, they've like
41:21
Speaker 6: decided that they cannot argue my valid points anymore. Okay, Like,
41:26
Speaker 6: you know, one of my most passionate things is about Chicago.
41:29
Speaker 6: I live in Chicago, and like people are calling it
41:32
Speaker 6: a hell hole and all this crazy stuff. And this
41:35
Speaker 6: guy was just going in on me, like a lot
41:38
Speaker 6: of people because of the way I look. They're like,
41:40
Speaker 6: you must live in a suburb or like on the
41:42
Speaker 6: North Side or something, and I don't, And like this
41:45
Speaker 6: person was going in on me. And then I was like,
41:48
Speaker 6: I told him where I lived and like where I
41:50
Speaker 6: have lived and the things that are great about where
41:52
Speaker 6: I live, and then he blocked me, and so I was,
41:55
Speaker 6: I mean, it gives me a lot of satisfaction that
41:58
Speaker 6: I won that argument and.
42:00
Speaker 3: Win the argument.
42:00
Speaker 4: Winning the argument would have been him going, wow, you
42:03
Speaker 4: brought up so many you raised so many great points
42:06
Speaker 4: about Chicago, and I was misinformed that would be a win.
42:11
Speaker 4: Changing someone's mind would be a win. Having someone block
42:14
Speaker 4: you is not a win.
42:16
Speaker 2: So don't tell people online that you're arguing with where
42:19
Speaker 2: you live, like a first rule, just.
42:21
Speaker 4: To say that maybe, Yeah, Sasha, how do you handle
42:25
Speaker 4: your relationship with social media.
42:27
Speaker 1: It's very tough because I have to be on it
42:29
Speaker 1: for work. It sadly is now like a part of
42:32
Speaker 1: the job. But I find it's so true if I
42:36
Speaker 1: don't go on it, or I only go on it
42:39
Speaker 1: for a specific amount of time to a specific end,
42:43
Speaker 1: it makes me feel so much better if I spend
42:47
Speaker 1: multiple days. Not because the problem is it's not real,
42:52
Speaker 1: but society and our brains keep telling us that it is.
42:56
Speaker 1: But it's not, and it's creating these like very weird
42:58
Speaker 1: parasocial dynamics that aren't actually based in reality. So it's
43:04
Speaker 1: like and it is absolutely an addiction. I mean, it's
43:06
Speaker 1: a dopamine hit one thousand.
43:08
Speaker 4: Percent, absolutely absolutely, and we're all guilty of it. So
43:11
Speaker 4: just like you know, you're living in a world where
43:13
Speaker 4: everyone is dealing with this, so you should get some
43:16
Speaker 4: comfort from that, but you should also be worried about
43:19
Speaker 4: your brain health, you know what I mean, Because no
43:21
Speaker 4: one's coming to save you.
43:22
Speaker 3: You have to take care of yourself.
43:24
Speaker 4: You have to make the moves to make sure that
43:27
Speaker 4: you are having like a healthier relationship with social media
43:30
Speaker 4: and also find some other things to do that prevent
43:33
Speaker 4: you from being online. Go fucking play tennis, Go play basketball,
43:36
Speaker 4: go do yoga, whatever is interesting to you. Commit to
43:40
Speaker 4: these things with the intention of breaking away from social media,
43:44
Speaker 4: so it is not an addiction. Set the timer they
43:47
Speaker 4: give you those timers. Okay, you've spent an hour on
43:49
Speaker 4: social media today. You can choose to ignore it.
43:52
Speaker 3: But you have to be in.
43:53
Speaker 4: Control of yourself to exercise your willingness to.
43:57
Speaker 3: Change, you know what I mean.
43:58
Speaker 4: You have to have a willingness, and then you have
44:00
Speaker 4: to have a follow through. And I think follow through
44:02
Speaker 4: is pretty much the most important thing in life is
44:04
Speaker 4: following through. You're calling because you know you have a problem.
44:08
Speaker 4: You're not calling to hear me tell you, Oh my god,
44:10
Speaker 4: I love it. Keep doing it?
44:11
Speaker 3: Are you No? I'm not right. So you know you
44:15
Speaker 3: have a problem. You've admitted it. Great.
44:17
Speaker 4: Those are the first two major steps. Now you could
44:19
Speaker 4: take some steps to just spend less time. You don't
44:22
Speaker 4: have to quit, just spend less time and stop arguing
44:26
Speaker 4: with people.
44:26
Speaker 3: Don't tell people where you live.
44:28
Speaker 4: That's all just kind of like jerking off into a
44:32
Speaker 4: fucking wall, do you know what I mean?
44:36
Speaker 3: Just what is the point? You know? Go read?
44:39
Speaker 4: Go read Anna KARENAA, go read a book that's going
44:42
Speaker 4: to make you think. Zasha just wrote a great book
44:44
Speaker 4: of essays called does This Make Me Funny? Start reading
44:47
Speaker 4: books that is going to add to your brain health
44:49
Speaker 4: way more than social media.
44:51
Speaker 3: And that's a fucking doctor's order. Okay, okay, okay, I understand, okay.
44:56
Speaker 4: Okay, keep us posted, check back in in a month,
44:58
Speaker 4: and let us know how you're doing. Even if you
45:00
Speaker 4: failed miserably, we want to know about it.
45:02
Speaker 6: Okay, sounds good. I think I'll start by trying to
45:05
Speaker 6: put a separation like.
45:06
Speaker 1: Right after work.
45:07
Speaker 6: Like unfortunately work requires me to use a smartphone now too,
45:10
Speaker 6: and so that'll be a good separation from work to life.
45:15
Speaker 6: And I'll start there.
45:17
Speaker 4: And just look at and write it down, write it
45:19
Speaker 4: down every night, look at how many hours you spent
45:21
Speaker 4: on your phone. And you know, I know sometimes you're
45:23
Speaker 4: on your phone for work and not social media, but
45:25
Speaker 4: there's a differentiation there.
45:26
Speaker 3: They show you.
45:27
Speaker 4: They break it up, so like, look at that amount
45:30
Speaker 4: of hours and then every day work on decreasing that
45:33
Speaker 4: amount of hours.
45:34
Speaker 6: Yeah.
45:34
Speaker 2: I like what you said about like putting something in
45:36
Speaker 2: its place, like going out, so doing something real, like
45:38
Speaker 2: Sasha said, like something real that's in the real world.
45:40
Speaker 2: You can also log that and be like today I
45:42
Speaker 2: did an hour, I took a walk, or I did
45:44
Speaker 2: you know.
45:45
Speaker 6: The thing is, yeah, and maybe if I want a
45:47
Speaker 6: crusade for the world, I should do something real and
45:50
Speaker 6: volunteer instead.
45:51
Speaker 4: Yes, right, exactly, that's right. That's what Mitch Album said.
45:55
Speaker 4: We just had Mitch Album on the writer. You've probably
45:57
Speaker 4: never heard of him because you're too busy online all
45:59
Speaker 4: that time. He's written so many beautiful books, and he
46:03
Speaker 4: said he when he wakes up in the morning, he
46:06
Speaker 4: just starts to write immediately, without looking at the news,
46:09
Speaker 4: without looking at He doesn't want anything in his head
46:12
Speaker 4: other than fresh ideas. And so if you think about
46:15
Speaker 4: all that noise that you're putting, you're allowing and you're
46:18
Speaker 4: welcoming into your brain, that could be re engineered to
46:22
Speaker 4: have so much more and so and just have a
46:24
Speaker 4: fuller life.
46:26
Speaker 6: Yeah, Okay, this is helpful.
46:28
Speaker 3: Okay, good marching orders, good luck. Thanks, Yes, Chelsea, can
46:32
Speaker 3: I say one thing to you.
46:33
Speaker 6: I've been a really big fan of you for a
46:35
Speaker 6: long time, and I just think that you're a model
46:37
Speaker 6: of someone that's sown personal growth, that's obvious while preserving
46:41
Speaker 6: your authenticity. I really appreciate it.
46:44
Speaker 3: Oh I love that. Thank you so much. You're welcome. Okay, bye,
46:48
Speaker 3: bye bye. I love yelling at my fans, you know
46:52
Speaker 3: a lot of them.
46:53
Speaker 1: That's what they're asking me.
46:56
Speaker 6: Yeah.
46:56
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have come on if he if he didn't
46:58
Speaker 1: want that, right right. It's like a kid sort of
47:01
Speaker 1: wanting to get caught.
47:04
Speaker 3: Yeah.
47:05
Speaker 2: Yes, Well, our next caller is John So John says,
47:10
Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea, your stand up and books have gotten me
47:12
Speaker 2: through some really rough times in my life, so I
47:15
Speaker 2: thought it would be fitting for me to reach out
47:16
Speaker 2: to you about an issue I'm having with my wedding
47:18
Speaker 2: guest list. I'm a gay man and my partner and
47:21
Speaker 2: I have been together for five years. This is both
47:23
Speaker 2: of our first ever relationships, which also led us to
47:26
Speaker 2: coming out to our family members. Although most of my
47:28
Speaker 2: family was highly supportive, my mother was.
47:30
Speaker 1: Not.
47:30
Speaker 2: To put it mildly, my mother and I have never
47:33
Speaker 2: really had a healthy relationship. She gave me up to
47:36
Speaker 2: be raised by my grandparents when I was in the
47:37
Speaker 2: fifth grade. We remained cordial for the most part for
47:41
Speaker 2: the sake of my grandparents, but this all changed in
47:43
Speaker 2: twenty eighteen, when a disagreement between my grandparents and my
47:46
Speaker 2: mother resulted in a significant family rupture in which I
47:49
Speaker 2: ultimately sided with my grandparents. During my coming out year,
47:53
Speaker 2: my grandparents encouraged me to have a conversation with my mother,
47:56
Speaker 2: which I was hesitant about but agreed to. As predicted,
47:59
Speaker 2: the common versation went horribly. She was not accepting of
48:02
Speaker 2: as she put it, my life choices sidebar. Some of
48:05
Speaker 2: my life choices include that I am the first college
48:07
Speaker 2: graduate in my family, a licensed psychotherapist soon to be
48:10
Speaker 2: a psychologist, and caring partner. So I think it turned
48:13
Speaker 2: out pretty well despite the trauma that comes along with
48:16
Speaker 2: being abandoned by a parent. Anyway, my mother found out
48:19
Speaker 2: about the engagement and has been speaking to my grandmother
48:22
Speaker 2: about it, who has been slightly pressuring me to invite
48:24
Speaker 2: her to the wedding. It's important for me to be
48:26
Speaker 2: surrounded by people who have been supportive of my relationship. However,
48:30
Speaker 2: I don't want my grandparents to be upset that my
48:32
Speaker 2: mother wasn't invited, since she has a history of taking
48:35
Speaker 2: things out on them when she's upset with me, and
48:37
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'll regret not inviting her, which
48:39
Speaker 2: is probably influenced by my inner child still longing for
48:42
Speaker 2: his mother. My partner and I are getting ready to
48:45
Speaker 2: send out Save the Dates next month, and I'm really
48:47
Speaker 2: on the fence about whether or not to invite her.
48:49
Speaker 2: I could really use her unfiltered and unbiased feedback.
48:52
Speaker 3: John.
48:53
Speaker 4: Hi, John, hellou Hi, This is Zasha Mammett. She's our
48:58
Speaker 4: special guest today.
48:59
Speaker 3: By John.
49:00
Speaker 1: Hello.
49:00
Speaker 3: Nice to meet too, too.
49:02
Speaker 4: Hi. Well, listen, first of all, congratulations on having your
49:04
Speaker 4: fucking shit together. Okay, you have your shit together, and
49:08
Speaker 4: if your mother won't tell you, I will.
49:10
Speaker 3: You are a fucking success.
49:12
Speaker 4: And I love when a psychotherapist calls here for advice,
49:15
Speaker 4: So I mean, that's always very entertaining. Have you had
49:19
Speaker 4: conversations with your mother recently about your relationship or about, like,
49:23
Speaker 4: you know, the seriousness of your relationship.
49:25
Speaker 3: Does she know your partner.
49:27
Speaker 5: She met him once a couple years ago. We went
49:30
Speaker 5: to drop off Christmas presents there and he is with me,
49:33
Speaker 5: but she said high to him and then ignored him
49:36
Speaker 5: the rest of the time we were there. She knows
49:38
Speaker 5: we're engaged, she knows we're getting married, but she doesn't
49:40
Speaker 5: really talk about him to me whenever we talk she
49:43
Speaker 5: avoids that.
49:44
Speaker 4: Okay, do you think it would be worthwhile to have
49:48
Speaker 4: a conversation with her to see where she stands with
49:51
Speaker 4: regard to your relationship If she understands that you're in love,
49:54
Speaker 4: that you're marrying a partner, that you guys are intending
49:57
Speaker 4: to be together for the rest of your lives.
49:59
Speaker 3: Do you I think that's a worthwhile endeavor for you?
50:02
Speaker 5: Ideally it would be I struggle with trusting what her
50:06
Speaker 5: reaction is going to be, and usually in conversations like those,
50:09
Speaker 5: I walk away feeling pretty shitty, So I don't want
50:13
Speaker 5: to feel that way.
50:14
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, well, yes, you can't control what she's going
50:17
Speaker 4: to say, obviously, but if you, in any way, shape
50:20
Speaker 4: or form, are not feeling like you're going to have
50:22
Speaker 4: a safe experience at your wedding emotionally, then your mother
50:26
Speaker 4: isn't welcome there, and you can't take care of your grandparents'
50:29
Speaker 4: feelings either, You know what I mean?
50:30
Speaker 3: This is about you, and this is about.
50:32
Speaker 4: Your partnership with your husband and what you guys are
50:35
Speaker 4: building together, and building it on a foundation of strength
50:39
Speaker 4: rather than negativity would be the starting point, right And
50:42
Speaker 4: I think you probably know well enough that if you
50:45
Speaker 4: can't rely on her to be supportive and to be
50:47
Speaker 4: there for the right reasons, then it's not just about
50:50
Speaker 4: inviting her so that your grandparents feel better. You're saving
50:54
Speaker 4: them some trouble too. Like she'll take it out on them,
50:57
Speaker 4: is what I gather. If she doesn't get invited, right,
51:00
Speaker 4: take it out? Yeah, absolutely so it might be worthwhile
51:02
Speaker 4: just to send her an email and let her know
51:04
Speaker 4: why she's not invited, you know, and if she really
51:07
Speaker 4: or if you want to do it prematurely, like if
51:10
Speaker 4: you want to reach out to her via email, because
51:12
Speaker 4: sometimes it's better to write these things instead of say
51:14
Speaker 4: them out loud, because you your emotions will get the
51:16
Speaker 4: better of you to write down and say, listen, this
51:19
Speaker 4: is what I'm embarking on. I'm about to spend the
51:21
Speaker 4: rest of my life with the man that I love,
51:22
Speaker 4: and we've been you know, you've never really exhibited any
51:25
Speaker 4: support for this relationship or shown any interest in him,
51:29
Speaker 4: So I'm unclear as to how to proceed about including
51:32
Speaker 4: you in the wedding. Is this something you think that
51:34
Speaker 4: you would want to be a part of. Do you
51:36
Speaker 4: think that you can show up for me and be
51:38
Speaker 4: one hundred percent supportive, because that's all I want on
51:40
Speaker 4: that day, and leave it in her court and see
51:43
Speaker 4: how she comes back to you. And if she comes
51:45
Speaker 4: back to you in any way that makes you feel
51:47
Speaker 4: ick or weird or nervous or you're emotionally not taken
51:51
Speaker 4: care of, then that's your answer. And you don't have
51:54
Speaker 4: to have the conversation with her. And you can easily
51:57
Speaker 4: explain to your grandparents that you did that you could
52:00
Speaker 4: see see them or not see see them. Don't involve
52:02
Speaker 4: them when it's not necessary. They're probably old and tired. Zasha,
52:05
Speaker 4: what do you think I mean?
52:07
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry that you're in this position. It's truly terrible,
52:10
Speaker 1: and it's it's such a bummer because you're the child
52:13
Speaker 1: here and this shouldn't have to be your responsibility. But sadly,
52:17
Speaker 1: that's just sometimes life. But you know, my husband and
52:20
Speaker 1: I had some tricky family stuff when we were getting married,
52:24
Speaker 1: some tricky friends stuff, and we really sat down and said,
52:27
Speaker 1: this is a day to celebrate our love. This is
52:30
Speaker 1: the day that's supposed to kick off the rest of
52:32
Speaker 1: our lives. And we decided the only people that were
52:37
Speaker 1: allowed to be at our wedding were people who we
52:41
Speaker 1: felt like we either saw or talked to every week.
52:44
Speaker 1: They were people that made us feel happy and good
52:47
Speaker 1: and safe, and you know, we would have these sort
52:50
Speaker 1: of like You can get very political when you're planning
52:52
Speaker 1: a wedding, right you start to be like, well, by
52:54
Speaker 1: this person, we have to bet, and you're like, you
52:55
Speaker 1: know what this wedding is for us. This wedding is
52:59
Speaker 1: about us saying I love you in front of I
53:04
Speaker 1: love you forever, in front of our community. And the
53:07
Speaker 1: only people that we want there are those who are
53:09
Speaker 1: going to elevate that love. And that was our hard line,
53:13
Speaker 1: and it didn't always make the decision to maybe not
53:17
Speaker 1: invite some people easy, but I think at the end
53:19
Speaker 1: of the day, it was the right choice because it
53:23
Speaker 1: truly did feel like a joy love bubble. And I
53:28
Speaker 1: think Chelsea's right, this is your day and everyone who's
53:34
Speaker 1: there should be in support of that union. And it's
53:38
Speaker 1: really up to your mom whether or not she can
53:40
Speaker 1: do that. But if she can't, I don't think it's
53:42
Speaker 1: your responsibility to make her and your grandparents feel better
53:46
Speaker 1: by inviting her.
53:47
Speaker 5: I appreciate that both of your advice is amazing. Sounds
53:50
Speaker 5: similar to some of the advice I would give one
53:52
Speaker 5: of my clients, but I think I need to practice
53:55
Speaker 5: what I appreciate here a little bit more.
53:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you have from this call mission to
54:01
Speaker 2: say no. You know, it's sometimes it's hardest for us
54:03
Speaker 2: to give ourselves permission, and you definitely have that here.
54:08
Speaker 3: Thank you.
54:08
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.
54:09
Speaker 4: And just remember, you know, when you make a decision
54:12
Speaker 4: like this, either way you go, then that becomes the decision.
54:16
Speaker 4: You know, like if you decide not to include your mom,
54:18
Speaker 4: I don't know that that's something that's necessarily going to
54:20
Speaker 4: weigh on you personally for moths, you know, for the
54:23
Speaker 4: time that's remaining until the wedding. It might be like, oh, okay,
54:27
Speaker 4: that's off my plate, like I've made a decision. Or conversely,
54:30
Speaker 4: to say I'm including her, it's like, okay, I've accepted
54:32
Speaker 4: that she's going to come.
54:33
Speaker 3: Like, whatever decision you go with, it's fine.
54:35
Speaker 4: But I think that you can write that letter an
54:37
Speaker 4: email and put it in writing so that she has
54:39
Speaker 4: time to read it reflect on it. You know, it
54:42
Speaker 4: can't be it's not going to be argumentative. It's going
54:44
Speaker 4: to come from a place of love and self protection.
54:47
Speaker 5: I will definitely do that. I don't have to circle
54:49
Speaker 5: back and update you folks, Yes.
54:51
Speaker 3: Definitely please do all right, thank you John.
54:54
Speaker 4: Thanks John, have so much fun at your congratulations.
54:57
Speaker 5: Thank you, thank you.
54:59
Speaker 4: I Okay, well we'll take a break and we'll be
55:03
Speaker 4: right back to wrap up with Sasha. Okay, and we're
55:09
Speaker 4: back with Sasha Mammut, who wrote this great little book
55:12
Speaker 4: called Does This Make Me Funny. It's a book of essays,
55:15
Speaker 4: her personal essays, and it's filled with well, it's filled
55:19
Speaker 4: with everything you could want out of a book, quite frankly.
55:21
Speaker 4: So thank you Sasha for being here today. I wish
55:24
Speaker 4: you the best luck with this book. And I'm just
55:27
Speaker 4: so happy you're healthy and bouncing around the world and
55:29
Speaker 4: you're in love with your hus You've been married for
55:31
Speaker 4: thirteen years now, right something like.
55:33
Speaker 1: That, married together thirteen married in October for nine Yeah,
55:40
Speaker 1: long time.
55:41
Speaker 3: Wow.
55:41
Speaker 4: Good for you. And no children not yet? No, okay, okay,
55:45
Speaker 4: well maybe that's a good thing.
55:47
Speaker 3: Okay, So.
55:51
Speaker 4: Have a great day, Love you, honey, Sesha, Bye bye bye.
55:58
Speaker 4: I just announced all my tour day. They just went
56:00
Speaker 4: on sale this week. It's called The High and Mighty Tour.
56:04
Speaker 4: I will be starting in February of next year, so
56:08
Speaker 4: I will be touring from February through June. I haven't
56:12
Speaker 4: added second shows yet, but we probably will be to
56:15
Speaker 4: some of these. So go get your tickets now if
56:17
Speaker 4: you want good seats and you want to come see
56:19
Speaker 4: me perform. I will be on the high and mighty
56:22
Speaker 4: toour Do.
56:23
Speaker 1: You want advice from Chelsea?
56:25
Speaker 2: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
56:28
Speaker 2: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
56:31
Speaker 2: at Dear Chelsea Pod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered
56:35
Speaker 2: by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine Law and be sure
56:39
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