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The Cost Of Your Comfort Zone · The Keri Croft Show

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Hey there, you beautiful badass.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Badass.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Carrie Croft Show.
0:10
SPEAKER_00: Happy Monday to you.
0:12
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully you're off to a great start.
0:15
SPEAKER_00: You've had a great morning full of, you know, getting your workout in, drinking your coffee, thinking good, badass thoughts about yourself in the day.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: And if not, if if this morning might have started off on a little bit of a rough note, maybe you're feeling rushed or something didn't happen the way that you thought maybe it should, it's okay, right?
0:37
SPEAKER_00: There's a chance right now to start again.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Let's make it a great day, no matter what.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: So if you've been following along on this solo cast journey, then you have completed all four parts of the what is mental athleticism series that I did.
0:53
SPEAKER_00: Hopefully you have sort of a high-level concept now of what exactly is this thing called mental athleticism that you're just chirping in my ear about.
1:04
SPEAKER_00: I can't stop.
1:05
SPEAKER_00: Hear it left and right.
1:06
SPEAKER_00: MA, mental athleticism, baby.
1:09
SPEAKER_00: And while we're on that dial, I think right now is the perfect time for me to once again reinforce the definition of mental athleticism in case it hasn't been pounded into your head with a mallet by by now.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: The mental athlete or someone who's mentally athletic has the ability to anchor to a big audacious vision, to relentlessly execute the small daily actions, to pursue the mastery of self-command and environmental design to put yourself in a position to win.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: And if you'll remember, back on March 11th, I did uh our first mental athleticism live.
1:47
SPEAKER_00: And it was all about the cost of the comfort zone.
1:50
SPEAKER_00: And since that time, I have had a lot of conversations and reach outs from people around this very topic.
1:58
SPEAKER_00: And so I figured I would just whip one out for you so you too can get a little bit of um perspective on what we in the mental athleticism world uh think about the cost of the comfort zone.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Now, before I start, before I dig into this, I do want to say, you know, there's a lot of very vague broad stroke motivation out there.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: So you'll hear things like, you know, grind, get out of your comfort zone, get uncomfortable.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: And all that's great, but you have to be discerning about it.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: So the goal, the my goal in life is not to be constantly uncomfortable or in some crazy state of misery or discomfort.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: And that's not the goal, that shouldn't be the goal.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: Yes, if you're doing small daily habits every single day that are uncomfortable, like possibly working out, progressive overload, maybe choosing something healthy to eat over something less healthy that you really want.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, those things are going to be uncomfortable.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: But I think big picture to think that you should be in a steady state of misery and discomfort in order to be successful, I think that's misleading.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: The way that we see it in the world of mental athleticism is very specific.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: The goal is not to live your life in a constant state of misery or anxiety.
3:16
SPEAKER_00: The goal is, though, to become someone who can strategically choose discomfort when it moves your life forward.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: That's that's a big difference.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I'm doing uncomfortable things every day in my pursuit of self-command, in those daily small things, right?
3:32
SPEAKER_00: But we're not constantly asking you to like make huge moves or do something ridiculously crazy or uncomfortable in your life, like switching careers or you know, leaving a relationship or whatever.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: You're not just getting uncomfortable for the sake of discomfort.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: There's a very strategic reason and a call inside of you to get uncomfortable.
3:54
SPEAKER_00: That's the way we see it.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: And that's a very different thing.
3:57
SPEAKER_00: And I do believe growth requires intentional discomfort.
4:01
SPEAKER_00: And you have to be strategic about that.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: You have to go with your gut, your intuition.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: I personally am someone who I'm always putting myself in a position at some point to feel nervous or feel that positive anxiety.
4:16
SPEAKER_00: What do I mean by that?
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Think about that feeling you get before you're getting on a roller coaster or before you're getting ready to like talk in front of a group of people.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: You have this anxiety or this feeling of, oh my gosh, what if I fall?
4:29
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you this self-doubt sort of that starts to creep in.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: That feeling, I'm constantly strategically putting myself there.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean?
4:41
SPEAKER_00: Give me an example.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
4:42
SPEAKER_00: So an example would be these in real life events that we're doing on the show.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: I've had anxiety over that for the last year and a half.
4:49
SPEAKER_00: And the anxiety doesn't come from getting in front of people and doing the show.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: That's actually exciting to me.
4:55
SPEAKER_00: The anxiety comes from I've never done this before.
4:58
SPEAKER_00: I don't have a roadmap for an event.
5:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm not a great event planner.
5:02
SPEAKER_00: I have event anxiety in terms of like, I don't want it to be some crusty, weird networking thing that is just this basic thing that you check the box.
5:10
SPEAKER_00: There's an experience in my mind that I want to bring to life that is unique and different.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: And so there's no blueprint for that.
5:17
SPEAKER_00: I'm blazing a trail for that.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: And so the in real life events are what I'm doing right now to push me into that space where I feel like I have two left feet, where I feel like I'm a beginner, where I feel like, oh my gosh, how is this gonna go?
5:32
SPEAKER_00: That's what I mean about putting yourself in discomfort for the greater good of your life.
5:37
SPEAKER_00: It's not just being uncomfortable for the sake of being uncomfortable.
5:40
SPEAKER_00: There's an actual reason why you're pushing yourself forward and trying to keep yourself at some point uncomfortable.
5:47
SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to have a million things that you're uncomfortable about.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: So for me right now, on the daily action train, like on the self-command, you know, daily action, if I'm getting up at 4:30, if I'm choosing to eat healthy, if I'm making all these quote unquote healthy choices, yeah, they're somewhat uncomfortable, but like you get used to it and it just becomes a habit.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: So it's like that's not even really uncomfortable anymore for me because I just do it.
6:11
SPEAKER_00: But then on the bigger picture vision end, anchoring to your big vision, if you have big visions and you have priorities and dreams, which if you are mentally athletic or you're striving to be, you should either have your priorities anchored in your boxes already or you're working toward that.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: There has to be something that you're getting uncomfortable with as you're trying to get to some of those bigger visions.
6:35
SPEAKER_00: So just it just has to happen.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: It's like a rite of passage.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: You can't always be a pro or, you know, doing things on autopilot or constantly feeling comfortable.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: So today let's focus on four, just four ways in which comfort can really cost you in ways that you don't even realize because maybe you just haven't pulled yourself away, stepped back and took a look at it.
6:59
SPEAKER_00: Take, you know, took a look at your life and where you're kind of staying small or where you're shrinking or pushing things off.
7:05
SPEAKER_00: So the first thing we that we talk about is the safety illusion.
7:10
SPEAKER_00: You feel safe in your comfort zone.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: That's what it's delivering, right?
7:13
SPEAKER_00: It's like, oh, you're safe here.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: It's a little nook.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: We like it here.
7:17
SPEAKER_00: It's warm.
7:18
SPEAKER_00: But over time, very slowly, it creates stagnation.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: And so I'll ask you in your life right now, where are you playing it safe?
7:27
SPEAKER_00: Where it's starting to kind of nudge at you a little bit.
7:30
SPEAKER_00: You're like, maybe I'm kind of keeping myself tucked away here a little bit too much.
7:34
SPEAKER_00: What decision or decisions have you been postponing?
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And we all know how that goes.
7:39
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna keep coming back.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: The thought loop, it's gonna keep coming back.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: And you keep pushing it, pushing it, putting on a shelf.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: What are you postponing that continues to sort of bring itself right back to front and center?
7:52
SPEAKER_00: And then one that I love, what truth do you already know that you haven't acted on?
7:58
SPEAKER_00: And look, comfort zones, they just feel like routines, and oftentimes they are.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: So let's say you're staying in a job that no longer challenges you.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, join the club.
8:07
SPEAKER_00: There's so many people listening to this right now that's like, okay, come on, like, not everybody's gonna love their job.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: Not everyone's gonna be a hundred percent passionate about their career.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: And quite frankly, not everyone can afford to take a leap and try to start something on their own.
8:20
SPEAKER_00: If they have a family, they have bills, it's like, oh, that'd be great, right?
8:24
SPEAKER_00: And I don't disagree with that.
8:25
SPEAKER_00: I agree that if you are someone who is stuck or you feel stuck, you hate your job, or you just feel not challenged, you feel like you're an autopilot, maybe you don't hate it, you're just kind of like going through the motions.
8:37
SPEAKER_00: And that could be fine.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you have other priorities and it's paying the bills, there's no shame in that at all.
8:42
SPEAKER_00: But if you're someone who it's starting to create a little bit more noise, a little bit more resentment, and it's more than just, yeah, I don't necessarily love my job.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: If it's something where you're feeling more of a scream with your intuition where like you can barely stand it and it's affecting other parts of your life, that's a different conversation.
9:04
SPEAKER_00: And even then, if you feel trapped in it because you have bills to pay, you have mouths to feed, totally understood.
9:10
SPEAKER_00: But it's also worth stepping back to say, okay, could I prop something else up on the side?
9:16
SPEAKER_00: Do I have something else that I am talented at or that I'm passionate about?
9:20
SPEAKER_00: That maybe no, I couldn't jump off a cliff today.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: But if I believed in myself enough and became resourceful and strategic enough, is there something that could bud and work in parallel to what I'm doing now that will start breathing life into my shell of a human being body right now that I'm living in because I hate what I'm doing so much?
9:40
SPEAKER_00: What I don't want to do here is give some big like, oh yeah, follow your dreams, get out of your comfort zone, jump off the bridge.
9:47
SPEAKER_00: That's not, that's not the vibe here.
9:50
SPEAKER_00: But the vibe is take a look and figure out do you have a way to be resourceful enough?
9:57
SPEAKER_00: Again, believe in yourself enough to maybe let something sprout over time and then see what happens.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: So I don't know, if that's perking up your ears and you're feeling like, man, that's that's me.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: I would say have a conversation with people.
10:12
SPEAKER_00: Start talking about the possibilities.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: What is it you're passionate about?
10:16
SPEAKER_00: What do you want to do?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: Who's done that?
10:18
SPEAKER_00: Go talk to them, research.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Again, go Aaron Brokovich, that shit.
10:23
SPEAKER_00: Figure it out.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: There's nothing worse than dying on the vine somewhere and not putting your heart and soul into it because you hate it.
10:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, again, if you got to do it, you gotta do what you got to do right now.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: But then again, just figure out how to start creating something small for yourself that could possibly gain momentum and turn into something.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: Another example is avoiding hard conversations.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: We all do it because it's uncomfortable.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: Here's the way I look at a hard conversation.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: How are you gonna know what's on the other side of something if you don't know what the other person's thinking?
10:57
SPEAKER_00: Because nine times out of ten, they're thinking something completely different than what you think they're thinking.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: You've created a story, your own story, and then also a narrative around what they're thinking.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: Therefore, you think you have the answer or the conclusion.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: It's not until you actually get curious and ask the other person that you can get to the other side together and figure something out.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: People are so, so afraid of having a kind confrontation.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's uncomfortable, but I also get FOMO.
11:25
SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's my sick twisted mind.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: I get so curious about what they are really thinking or what I could have done that I didn't realize, like my blind side, that if I don't try to get to the other side of that with them to know what's really going on, and yeah, sometimes it's gonna sting.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's not gonna be the answer you want to hear.
11:44
SPEAKER_00: But it, you know, I don't know.
11:45
SPEAKER_00: I just feel like it's the grown-up, mature thing to do.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: I see way too many adults who are so passive aggressive and have this childlike behavior where they're going to, they're gonna stonewall you, or they're not gonna, or they're gonna give you the silent treatment, or they're gonna tell you everything with their body language.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: It's like, really, really?
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Do we have the skills of a second grader in terms of back and forth?
12:12
SPEAKER_00: So for me, I would rather kindly confront and have a conversation than continue to avoid a hard conversation and have it fester deep down inside of me and just create this intangible, weird, negative space in my orbit.
12:30
SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
12:31
SPEAKER_00: And then the third one is keeping ideas in your head instead of starting.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: I know you, I know some of you out there can feel that, right?
12:40
SPEAKER_00: You keep these ideas in your head instead of starting because once you put it out there, you open it up for judgment.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: You open it up for someone to say, Yo, baby is ugly.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: You open it up to criticism.
12:53
SPEAKER_00: And if you are too fragile to handle that, I don't know what to tell you because it's it's truly a rite of passage for someone to tell you that like your product stinks or this needs fixed or this was a horrible experience or that sucks.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you're gonna get all kinds of feedback, but I'd rather have that feedback than no feedback because I don't have the belief or the balls to step up and bring the thing to bear because I'm afraid of criticism.
13:21
SPEAKER_00: Call me if that's your problem, because I'll I'll talk you right, right through that one.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's a safety illusion.
13:28
SPEAKER_00: The second one is the energy drain.
13:31
SPEAKER_00: And this one we can all feel.
13:32
SPEAKER_00: And and I think from my experience, the way that that I've been able to feel this is like there's like a tired, like I'm a sleepy tired, and then I'm like tired.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: I've had nine hours of sleep and I still feel exhausted.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: That's when you know you have an energy drain.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: That's when what you're doing makes you feel like a shell of a human, as opposed to filling you with joy and color and texture and all the things that that make you want to get up and click your heels in the morning.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: So comfort will come in sort of the form of an energy drain.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And people would would assume that discomfort would drain energy, right?
14:11
SPEAKER_00: But no, it's the opposite.
14:12
SPEAKER_00: So over time, you're comfortable, you're safe, things are fine, humdrumming along, but you do wonder why you're so exhausted and why, no matter how much sleep you get, it doesn't seem to help.
14:26
SPEAKER_00: Because it's not a sleep problem, it's an energy problem.
14:29
SPEAKER_00: It's you don't feel you're not tapped in.
14:33
SPEAKER_00: You're not tapped in to the thing, the purpose, the the badassery, you know, you're over here in another neighborhood that's just making you feel like you're a phone with, you know, 8% charge left.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: And nobody's got time for that.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: So I'll ask you if you want to assess the energy drain to figure out, like, oh, is this me?
14:54
SPEAKER_00: What part of your life right now feels numb or stale?
14:57
SPEAKER_00: Like what part of your life you're like, oh God, we're playing this, we're playing this movie again today.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: Now, mind you, especially when you have young kids, your days can feel very long.
15:10
SPEAKER_00: They can feel very much the same.
15:12
SPEAKER_00: You feel like you're you're in, you know, groundhog day.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: That's not what I'm talking about, though.
15:17
SPEAKER_00: You understand that when you, you know, once you're a parent and you quickly realize, okay, this is what's going down, I'm talking about something different.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about when you're a parent, you feel that purpose.
15:29
SPEAKER_00: You're raising these human beings and it's not about you.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: So when I say like what part feels numb or stale, understand that I know the parenting grind and the groundhog day feeling that comes with being a parent, especially of young kids.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: Where do I feel disengaged or checked out, you know?
15:47
SPEAKER_00: And what used to excite me that now feels underwhelming or automatic.
15:52
SPEAKER_00: And I will say this in my opinion, energy is the clearest signal of alignment or lack thereof.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: So take this time, do the exercise, think about yourself energetically.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: Are you aligned or not?
16:05
SPEAKER_00: Because energy doesn't lie.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: Number three, the identity ceiling.
16:10
SPEAKER_00: I love this one.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: I actually love them all.
16:12
SPEAKER_00: But comfort zones um can come in the form of an outdated identity.
16:19
SPEAKER_00: What do I mean by that?
16:20
SPEAKER_00: You know, oh, I'm the responsible one, I'm the stable one, I'm the one who holds everything together.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm not the kind of person who fill in the blank.
16:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: You know, we all get comfortable and get labeled as the X, Y, and Z person.
16:34
SPEAKER_00: But don't you kind of get tired of that?
16:36
SPEAKER_00: And if if you're looking at that and you're thinking, yeah, you know what?
16:39
SPEAKER_00: I do feel like I'm kind of tired of I've outgrown this identity, or I don't want to like hitch my wagon to this thing anymore.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: That's um the identity ceiling.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: You've outgrown it.
16:53
SPEAKER_00: Like, let's shift, let's change the narrative.
16:56
SPEAKER_00: And so the question to you would be like, who have I been in this season of life?
17:01
SPEAKER_00: Who, who is it?
17:03
SPEAKER_00: And then does that identity still serve me?
17:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, how, how am I outgrowing it?
17:07
SPEAKER_00: How is it exhausting me?
17:09
SPEAKER_00: And then what version of me is trying to emerge?
17:13
SPEAKER_00: And that's a great exercise to do.
17:16
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you're the responsible one in a family unit or a friend group and you're constantly putting expectations on yourself or feel like there's expectations on you and you're feeling exhausted by it and your energy's drained from it, um, it might be time to look at that and say, you know, I'm just carrying this torch of this title.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: And I'm, you know, how can we sort of shift and evolve and create, it's not like you have to abandon the identity altogether, like, hey, I'm the responsible and I'm always planning the trips and, you know, making sure everything is set, and I'm gonna go over here off the rails and just go rogue.
17:56
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean that.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: It just means, yeah, you know what?
17:59
SPEAKER_00: I've really taken on a lot here and it's served me here.
18:03
SPEAKER_00: And now I need to evolve into this new space, which is gonna look a little bit different because I'm going to now be doing these things differently.
18:12
SPEAKER_00: So it's it's all a process, you know.
18:14
SPEAKER_00: But you, if you feel like your identity, like you're like, okay, I'm over this, I've outgrown this, then how can you take responsibility and sit down and figure out like, how am I going to evolve away from this and step into a more fitting, aligned identity?
18:29
SPEAKER_00: And that's nobody else's responsibility but yours.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: I'm here to remind you of that.
18:34
SPEAKER_00: It's not the group's fault, it's not your family's fault.
18:37
SPEAKER_00: You have to take radical ownership around, okay, I acknowledge this, this isn't working anymore.
18:43
SPEAKER_00: So how do I sort of strategically walk the path into this new space?
18:48
SPEAKER_00: It's as simple and as complicated as that.
18:50
SPEAKER_00: And then last but not least, we have the opportunity cost, which you always hear in business, right?
18:55
SPEAKER_00: The opportunity cost of doing something or not doing something.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: And I absolutely love this one.
19:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna say this is my favorite.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: And I talk about this in other episodes with some guests that I've had in the past.
19:05
SPEAKER_00: It is the most powerful one to me.
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Comfort zones don't just maintain the present, they delay the future.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: And when I think about that, like the way that I tee it up is I get FOMO.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: So you don't, you're not gonna see me getting FOMO about social stuff anymore.
19:22
SPEAKER_00: I I like I want to be invited, don't want to go kind of person most of the time.
19:27
SPEAKER_00: So I get more Jo JOMO from that kind of stuff.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: But when it comes to my life, my potential success, and when I say success, I mean in all of the buckets, I get FOMO thinking about if I don't believe in myself enough to have the confidence enough to build momentum and put myself in a position to open another door, what am I missing out on?
19:51
SPEAKER_00: So that's where my FOMO lies.
19:54
SPEAKER_00: And I would love for that to stick with you.
19:56
SPEAKER_00: Like if you don't remember anything else from this conversation today, I want you to get FOMO about missing out on the door that you're not gonna get to because you didn't believe in yourself enough.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: Again, you didn't believe in yourself enough to go to the door, turn the knob, and walk through.
20:16
SPEAKER_00: And a good question to ask yourself along these lines, good exercise for you today, would be if I stay exactly where I am for the next three years.
20:27
SPEAKER_00: So so picture it, sit with it.
20:29
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be exactly where I am for the next three years.
20:33
SPEAKER_00: What kind of emotion does that bring up?
20:35
SPEAKER_00: Thoughts, feelings, like what happens there?
20:38
SPEAKER_00: Do you continue to die on the vine?
20:40
SPEAKER_00: Are you like, oh my God, I would absolutely lose my mind?
20:43
SPEAKER_00: There's no way.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Or yeah, you know what?
20:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm pretty comfortable here.
20:46
SPEAKER_00: It's good for now.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that bring up for you?
20:50
SPEAKER_00: And then you ask yourself, like, what opportunities might I miss?
20:54
SPEAKER_00: You know, what are the potential opportunities you're missing out on because you're not putting yourself in a position to win?
21:00
SPEAKER_00: And then I guess a third question would be what kind of person could I become if I did take a shot and stretch myself a bit?
21:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, what does that look like?
21:11
SPEAKER_00: So, like back to the big audacious vision.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: I would say, like, at some point this week, when you're taking a walk by yourself and you have no music on, you don't have any podcasts coming through your ear holes, like just literally like silence, listening to yourself.
21:25
SPEAKER_00: I would task you to dream that big dream.
21:29
SPEAKER_00: Like, what do I look like if I really was able to do the thing or have the conversation or change the identity or, you know, what does the ideal state for me look like right now in my mind's eye?
21:44
SPEAKER_00: Think about it.
21:45
SPEAKER_00: Have a minute with it, just let it run in your mind like a movie and see what plays out.
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Get FOMO.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: So, since my goal with mental athleticism is to always give you some kind of thought provoking or action.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Actionable takeaway.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: What I will ask you to do very simply this week, if any of this speaks to you, is number one, very simply just locate the friction.
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Where in your life do you feel misaligned, over it, outgrown?
22:14
SPEAKER_00: Like, where is it?
22:15
SPEAKER_00: And then I would take that one one step further.
22:17
SPEAKER_00: So, like, where in your life do you feel misaligned?
22:19
SPEAKER_00: And then what phrase would capture it the most?
22:21
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm coasting along.
22:24
SPEAKER_00: This no longer fits me.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: I actually am, I'm ready.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: I really want to change, but I just don't know how.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to get myself on the track and rolling forward.
22:34
SPEAKER_00: And then fourth, I would say, I definitely know what I want.
22:38
SPEAKER_00: It lights me up inside, it puts fire in my belly like I haven't felt in a long time, but I'm just afraid.
22:44
SPEAKER_00: Like owning that part of it, I love, I would love for you to be in that space.
22:50
SPEAKER_00: It's like, no, I know what I want, man.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: I've got this burning desire.
22:54
SPEAKER_00: I know what I was meant to do.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: I'm just scared.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: Because if you get with the right person or people, get resourceful, you can you can build those reps.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: You can you have to be brave before good.
23:06
SPEAKER_00: You can get brave.
23:08
SPEAKER_00: Brave is not a personality trait, it's a muscle that you build.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: So if you're scared, that's normal.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: It's part of being human.
23:18
SPEAKER_00: But being brave or courageous is not something somebody else possesses over you.
23:23
SPEAKER_00: Yes, there could be some DNA that makes somebody a little more, you know, bold, unapologetic, but you can build that muscle.
23:32
SPEAKER_00: You can build the courage muscle.
23:34
SPEAKER_00: And yes, I will die on that hill.
23:36
SPEAKER_00: I will die.
23:37
SPEAKER_00: All right, so here's where you have to take action.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: And this is very, very bite-sized.
23:42
SPEAKER_00: This is very doable.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Now that you've identified the friction, I want you to, I want you to pull a couple levers.
23:49
SPEAKER_00: And there's gonna be one in your internal world, and there's gonna be one in your external world.
23:54
SPEAKER_00: If you are in a comfort zone, you have identified your point of friction, I want you to create or do one rep, one thing that you decide, like I'm gonna commit to doing this thing that is going to allow me to experiment, to feel, and to push me very slowly, kind of in the direction of exploring what it would be like to step out of your comfort zone.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by that?
24:19
SPEAKER_00: So, example, you have a job right now that's killing you inside.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: You're not passionate about it, you're going through the motions, it pays the bills, but you feel like an empty shell of a human.
24:29
SPEAKER_00: You have this outlet over here that you feel passionately about, but you can't figure out a way to prop it up.
24:34
SPEAKER_00: So, what I would ask for you to do is just do something that would give you a tiny step forward in this creative spot.
24:43
SPEAKER_00: So if it's making something, if it's writing something, creating something, put yourself in a space every week, put some time on your calendar, whether it's just one hour.
24:53
SPEAKER_00: Let's use this as a very specific example.
24:55
SPEAKER_00: Let's say I my dream is to write.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: I want to be a writer.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: So instead of just thinking about it and making it this unattainable thing over here because I have this main job, it's like, no, I'm gonna put this on my calendar for one week.
25:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna sit down and I'm going to write.
25:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do the thing that I wish I could do in a very small, digestible rep every single week.
25:16
SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna just explore and see how that makes me feel, see what that unlocks, see what it opens up.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: So you're not jumping off any major bridge, you're not doing anything wrong, illegal, that's gonna put your put you in a position with your job.
25:30
SPEAKER_00: You are simply just exploring a little bit more and opening up that door to what it is you would want to do and actually taking some reps toward it just to see.
25:41
SPEAKER_00: And you'd be amazed at what will happen when you lean in, uh, saying the thing that you've been avoiding.
25:46
SPEAKER_00: So if you're someone who part of your issue with your comfort zone is maybe the people situation or you have some kind of thing going on that you're afraid, you're just you're avoiding an inevitable conversation.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: Say the thing you've been avoiding.
25:58
SPEAKER_00: And when I say that, maybe a small rep would be say it to yourself.
26:03
SPEAKER_00: Send an audio text to yourself, pretend like you're talking to the person.
26:07
SPEAKER_00: That might sound weird, but like, why not?
26:09
SPEAKER_00: Write it in your notes, practice it, see how it feels, really kind of just build the rep of like what would that look like if I actually had this conversation?
26:18
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, nine times out of 10, when you have a conversation like that that feels so scary on one side, you're gonna feel so much better on the other side of it.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: Even when it doesn't go your way, and I've had a couple of these in the last few years where I have decided to step forward and kindly try to confront something.
26:38
SPEAKER_00: And it's not always gonna end the way that either you want or you want to position it to end.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: But when it all shakes out, you realize, yeah, you know what?
26:47
SPEAKER_00: This is exactly the way that it was meant to be.
26:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, you kind of look at it and you're like, huh.
26:52
SPEAKER_00: So you can't be afraid of the outcome or worry about the outcome.
26:56
SPEAKER_00: The truth that you feel inside, that's that should be your anchor and your guide.
27:01
SPEAKER_00: And that you have to have that conversation.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: And then again, giving yourself permission to explore is part of it.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: Play, play around, dip your toe in it, see what happens, see how you feel.
27:12
SPEAKER_00: There's no pressure of outcome, just exploration.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so that's your internal world, that's self-command.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: And then secondly, I would ask you to look at your external world and environmental design.
27:24
SPEAKER_00: So I want you to try to change something around you if it makes sense.
27:28
SPEAKER_00: So here's an example.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: Let's say you are, let's say you're looking to start a side hustle.
27:36
SPEAKER_00: And again, it just feels so out there and so foreign.
27:39
SPEAKER_00: Maybe join a community that is tangent or complimentary or um might put you around people who either have done the thing or could be clients of the thing.
27:50
SPEAKER_00: Um, step outside and put yourself into a situation where you're going to start having more conversations about the thing.
27:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, like if you are a creative person, set up a little space in your home where you can do the creative thing.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, and always one of the main uh environmental things is like removing distractions or obligations out of your life to free you up to have space to potentially do something else.
28:17
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, so if I'm super busy and I'm hating my job and you know, all these things, maybe you need to take a look and say, okay, what am I super busy with?
28:26
SPEAKER_00: You know, so maybe there's an opportunity there.
28:29
SPEAKER_00: So if you're super busy with things that are just meh, maybe I could carve, you know, maybe I could cut those down and carve out more time.
28:37
SPEAKER_00: So now I'm feeling like, oh, wait, I do have an extra, you know, 10 hours a week to potentially start this thing.
28:44
SPEAKER_00: Whereas before I didn't feel like I even had, you know, the ability to do that.
28:49
SPEAKER_00: So obviously taking a look at your week and removing or reducing any type of obligation that isn't serving you or distraction, um, that's amazing time that you can have to open up space to do the thing.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so do that.
29:06
SPEAKER_00: So do it for your internal world and your external world and track it.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: Pay attention.
29:10
SPEAKER_00: Do the reps.
29:12
SPEAKER_00: They're not big reps, they're small little things.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: No one even has to know about it.
29:15
SPEAKER_00: It can just be something you decide to do for yourself and do it for for a good amount of time.
29:20
SPEAKER_00: Do it for 30 days, 60 days.
29:22
SPEAKER_00: And then once that happens, you collect evidence.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: This is what we call collecting evidence.
29:27
SPEAKER_00: And so when you continue to do that over time, what happens is you collect evidence, you know, and that's a magical thing.
29:34
SPEAKER_00: And to get real specific around that, let's say you do decide to write for an hour, and all of a sudden you're like, wait, my energy, I'm feeling so juiced up.
29:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I used to feel my energy was so drained, and now I'm like ready to go, and I want to have conversations with people, and I feel like I'm tiptoeing through the tulips.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, it could be because those small reps you're taking in the direction of what you're passionate about are bringing more light and energy.
30:00
SPEAKER_00: That's like what you're that's the universe, that's your intuition telling you, like, yes, this is aligned.
30:06
SPEAKER_00: This hour of writing that you're doing, or this time you've freed up from these distractions and these obligations, like this is what's giving you the juice again.
30:15
SPEAKER_00: That is evidence that you are aligned, losing track of time.
30:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, this is like such a big one.
30:21
SPEAKER_00: That is such evidence.
30:23
SPEAKER_00: If you start doing something, getting into something, let's say I do decide to get into a community um that aligns with maybe something that I want to do.
30:33
SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden it's like, oh my gosh, five hours have gone by and it feels like two minutes.
30:37
SPEAKER_00: Well, you know what they say.
30:38
SPEAKER_00: Time flies when you're having fun, right?
30:40
SPEAKER_00: You lose track of time.
30:41
SPEAKER_00: You get into a flow state because you're aligned, you're in the space, you're doing the thing.
30:47
SPEAKER_00: That is evidence that you're doing the thing you're supposed to be doing.
30:50
SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, wanting to do it more.
30:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, that's that's also great evidence.
30:55
SPEAKER_00: So I said a lot here.
30:56
SPEAKER_00: And you know, I always make a commitment to make these solo casts less than a half hour.
31:01
SPEAKER_00: I may have broken that promise today, but I think it was well worth it.
31:05
SPEAKER_00: Listen, take what you want from this.
31:07
SPEAKER_00: I hope you take something useful.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: If you want to talk about it, please feel free to set up a 15-minute call with me.
31:14
SPEAKER_00: I love nothing more than to help somebody sort of um think through things that are happening.
31:19
SPEAKER_00: And if I can be any sort of help for you as you're kind of trying to manage a comfort zone or figure out what to do for yourself next, I am so happy to do it.
31:27
SPEAKER_00: There's a link in my bio.
31:28
SPEAKER_00: You can set up a call.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: And don't forget about the B10.
31:31
SPEAKER_00: The B10 starts on April 13th.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: There has never been a better time to do it.
31:37
SPEAKER_00: The B10 is basically our entrance into mental athleticism.
31:40
SPEAKER_00: It's a 10-day challenge with yours truly.
31:43
SPEAKER_00: It is very community-based.
31:45
SPEAKER_00: We give up 10 things.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: You sign up, you sign a contract, we give up some things together, we go through the dot system together, which is a way to just put training wheels on your day.
31:57
SPEAKER_00: You will go through very small micro reps that are super easy to do and they're so tiny that you're you can't negotiate with it.
32:04
SPEAKER_00: Um, you're doing it with a group of people.
32:06
SPEAKER_00: It's a lot of fun, it's a very manageable amount of time.
32:10
SPEAKER_00: And when you walk away, you will have a really great solid foundation of what it takes to live a life that is intentional.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: And when you walk away, you will have a really solid foundation of mental athleticism.
32:25
SPEAKER_00: So I'm really, really excited about that.
32:27
SPEAKER_00: I'll put the link in the notes too.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: All right, I said a lot here.
32:30
SPEAKER_00: I hope you go out and have a fantastic day.
32:33
SPEAKER_00: I hope some of this sinks in and resonates with you.
32:35
SPEAKER_00: And until next time, keep moving, baby.