Latest / SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions / Mental Clutter- 3 things that are helping me

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Mental Clutter- 3 things that are helping me · SAY GRACE | Weight Loss + Health for Overwhelmed Women- Stress, Busy, Consistency, Realistic, Motivation, Starting Over, No Restrictions

• 0:39
  Okay, y'all, we are back and with better sound quality.
• 0:43
  Thank you for hanging with me last week as I recorded the episode in my car.
• 0:48
  But I got a lot of good messages and lots of good feedback, you know, just about the content.
• 0:52
  I'm like, okay, well, the sound quality wasn't terrible enough that they turned me off.
• 0:57
  So, you know, we achieved the goal, which was to just get the podcast out there.
• 1:04
  And so today I want to talk, and I actually had a different podcast topic on
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  deck, but I pivoted because,
• 1:12
  you know, I feel just so led to speak from my heart when, you know,
• 1:19
  when there is a stirring.
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  And so I felt really led to talk about this today instead, because if you caught
• 1:27
  my Facebook post early last week,
• 1:30
  or I also sent out an email late last week recapping it, I asked the public for prayers.
• 1:38
  Okay, and it is a long, a long story that I'll kind of try to make short here.
• 1:46
  But for a while now, I have kind of felt a nudge that...
• 1:52
  Something in the business needed to change, but there was no evidence to back it up, y'all.
• 1:59
  Like, it is so comical.
• 2:02
  I mean, literally, like, it makes me laugh because we are, the business is at
• 2:06
  the best place it's been in a really, really long time.
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  We have two employees that, like, know what they're doing.
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  We are like a well-oiled machine for the most part. You know,
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  everything just feels so smooth and so comfortable.
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  And I'm like, you know, so every time I've gotten that little nudge,
• 2:28
  I'm like, no, no, no, not now.
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  No, you know, God, are you sure now? Now is when we want to talk about this, you know?
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  And so I have kind of just taken it as like, not really that important right
• 2:47
  now. if that makes sense.
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  Like I haven't felt the weight of it to be so important until recently.
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  I just feel like the Lord will not let up on me about it. Like we need to pivot. We need to change.
• 3:00
  Something has got to change. And so I'm finally just like, oh my gosh, okay, I'm all in, right?
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  Like even though my little brain does not comprehend it,
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  because when I look around, right when I look at what I only I can see which
• 3:16
  obviously is not even a glimpse of what God can see but when I look at what
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  I can see it doesn't make sense to me for why this would be the case right now but we all know that like,
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  what makes sense to me ain't the whole picture.
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  You know what I mean? So I've finally kind of given into that and been like,
• 3:36
  okay, Lord, let's surrender.
• 3:38
  You know, let's, whatever, whatever you want, let's do it.
• 3:41
  And so I have been in prayer about that for about two weeks, maybe a little longer.
• 3:46
  No, well, by the time this episode goes out, it'll be like, you know, three or so weeks.
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  And so with that has come a lot of spiritual warfare.
• 3:56
  It has not gotten easier. I'll say that. And it's not like a couple weeks of prayer.
• 4:02
  I have just had these revelations, right? I really don't think that that's what this will be for me.
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  Like, I so hope that next week I can come on and be like, okay,
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  guys, here's the new plan.
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  But I really don't think that's going to be it, right? I think it's going to
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  be just this constant walk of obedience, like the Lord saying,
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  okay, Constance, all right, put one foot in front of the other.
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  Okay, good. You know, now put this other foot in front of the other. Okay, good.
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  And then, you know, eventually I will hopefully be able to look back and say,
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  golly, look at how far the Lord has taken me.
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  Like, look at what truly would have only happened because of his faithfulness
• 4:42
  and my willingness to be obedient, right?
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  Otherwise, I would have never dreamed of whatever it is that's coming down the line, right?
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  And so I think Satan has really, like, been fighting me with that.
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  Like, he doesn't want me to take the steps, right?
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  He doesn't want me to, like, move forward because obviously,
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  you know, it may be something awesome coming down the line, you know,
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  or something totally different. And Satan likes to keep us right where we are, you know?
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  And so I asked for prayers. And I wanted to kind of talk a little bit more about
• 5:17
  that and about, because when I ask for prayers, y'all, it is just incredible
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  how so many of us are praying.
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  In the midst of the same things. You know what I mean? And so,
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  so many people replied to me.
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  So many people like messaged me, text me, I mean, email me, like all these things
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  just telling me about their struggles too and how it can feel so overwhelming.
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  And like almost everybody I spoke to said, I know I need to get more still with the Lord.
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  Like I know I need to get more quiet. I know I need to just listen.
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  If I would just listen, I know this burden wouldn't feel as heavy.
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  And I'm like, I was that, like for this specific topic, you know,
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  that was my theme up until a couple weeks ago, right?
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  I'm just like, oh, I know something's changed, but I'm just kind of looking the other way on it.
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  You know, like I wasn't taking the time to really focus and look at it.
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  And so to me, that is a lot of mental clutter.
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  And oftentimes as human beings, we attack mental clutter in a way that we think
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  is useful. And in fact, it's working against us.
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  And so for me, you know, like I have clearly felt the nudge that I need to look at this more deeply.
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  I need to be in more prayer about this, you know, but I was finding every other.
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  Excuse and reason not to. Like, hello, we're busy, y'all.
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  Like, I'm busy just like you're busy. And we have had so many shifts and so many changes over here.
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  It is absolutely insane.
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  Just got a new job. And so a lot of his home responsibilities have shifted.
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  His distraction is a little higher right now. And so because he just got so
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  much on his brain and he's learning so much.
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  And so that's been a shift in our home.
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  And then, you know, so it's been a lot of like,
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  My focus has been there, like helping him with his distraction or helping take
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  something off of his plate or, you know, just encouraging him through this new journey, okay?
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  Also, hello, I'm pregnant and I'm pregnant, you know, with a baby that we kind
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  of had, we kind of decided we weren't having any more babies, you know?
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  So also our last baby is six.
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  So a lot of the baby things that we had for her, you know, we sold, we gave away.
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  So like my little mom brain is going into, you know, okay, preparation mode.
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  Like, oh my gosh, we got to get bottles.
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  And we got, you know, what kind of bottles do I want? Oh my gosh,
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  bottles have changed so much since, you know, 2019.
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  You know, all of these things like with, you know, what's new now with the baby.
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  And I really don't have time to even research it and figure it out.
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  You know, but that's going on. Also, none of my clothes fit, right?
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  And it's summer is coming. And so I'm like, I got to get some short sleeve shirts that fit.
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  I got to find some shorts that fit, you know, praise the Lord.
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  I have two younger sisters that have both have kids, had babies recently,
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  and they have just offloaded a ton of this stuff to me.
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  You know, their clothes, their baby things like anyway, that's been such a big help.
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  But and then so anyway, all that to say, lots, lots of things going.
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  Got to get a baby's room together.
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  Lord have mercy. And so, you know, a lot of things are going on for me as the
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  mom and me as the keeper of the baby,
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  you know, and I have just like been finding any excuse to look the other way on myself.
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  God has been kind of nudging my heart towards. And I have valid excuses,
• 9:05
  right? I just named half of them for you, you know?
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  And so now that I'm like, okay, I'm realizing that this is not going away.
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  I'm realizing that the Lord is saying, I need to focus here.
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  I am going to do that, but,
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  But also on the flip side, how do I reduce the mental clutter from all the other
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  things plus more that I just talked about?
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  You know, like the things that we hold as moms, like just because we know we
• 9:36
  need to focus in on our weight loss, right?
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  Or we know that we need to focus in on being more intentional with one of our
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  children or our husband or whatever.
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  Or we know that we need to focus in on praying and getting more,
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  you know, aligned and intentional with the Lord on X, Y, or Z.
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  Like, just because we know that doesn't mean that we always make this space for it, right?
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  And so today, that's what I really want to talk about is the three things that are helping me.
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  That was a really long introduction for this, but the three things that are
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  helping me with that mental clutter so that I can then lean into the thing that
• 10:16
  I know I really need to be leaning into right now, right?
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  Because oftentimes, y'all, we want to fix it.
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  Like we want to do it all. We want to say, okay, yeah, I'm going to focus on
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  that, but I'm still also going to carry all this other crap, right?
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  And it doesn't work that way, right? Like it doesn't work that way.
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  We have got to be able to offload to things or lay things down at least in order
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  to then put the focus where we feel our hearts being drawn.
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  You know, but it's so much easier to just put out little mini fires every day
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  than to actually go to the source and figure out like what is causing the big
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  fire. You know what I mean?
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  And so I want to talk about just three things that are really helping me to
• 11:04
  get rid of some of that mental clutter.
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  Okay. And then, and it's crazy because in turn, it's also like these three things
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  are also allowing me to constantly be reminded that.
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  The thing that I am, you know, trying to be in more prayer about and be more
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  intentional about is going to take that time, that faith, that trust and that intentionality.
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  Like we're not going to be able to solve lack of clarity about the direction
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  the business is headed in in a day, you know.
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  And so it's just a constant reminder by removing the mental clutter of some of this other stuff.
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  It's a constant reminder that like, OK, I can exhale because this is not an
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  emergency. you know what I mean?
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  And so anyway, I've got my three things and I'm just going to start here with the first one.
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  The first thing that I'm really focusing on to help me with that mental clutter is not really new to me.
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  I think I'm just being a little more intentional with other things,
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  but it is starting the day intentional and aligned.
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  Okay, like if we wake up and our feet hit the ground and we are running.
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  You know, kids need this, barely putting our makeup on, you know,
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  have one shoe on running out the door, like it just makes it really hard for
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  you to then say, okay, now I'm going to declutter my mind and focus on all the
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  things I know I need to focus on, right?
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  So I always wake up early and I have my quiet time.
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  It just depends on the season and kind of how I'm feeling as far as what I do.
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  Sometimes I just read straight out of the Bible.
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  We have a devotion or a Bible study that I'm doing with my mom's group.
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  So sometimes I read that Bible study.
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  And then sometimes, again, I just sit and listen to worship music.
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  I'm quiet, you know, whatever.
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  But I always make sure to be intentional about that morning time.
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  Now, let me tell you something I have recently started doing because I noticed
• 13:02
  that I would wake up, I would go grab my phone, and I would sit with my phone.
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  And like, it would just kind of be there. And like, if I wasn't super,
• 13:12
  super intentional, next thing you know, I'd have it in my hand and I'd be doing
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  who knows what with it, you know.
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  So, I don't know. I think I've shared with you guys on a podcast episode before
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  that I own something called a Brick.
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  Look it up. It's B-R-I-C-K.
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  And it is this little device that helps you turn off apps at certain times of the day.
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  So, it literally blocks apps on your phone at certain times of the day so that
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  you cannot get into Instagram when you are supposed to be in the Bible.
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  You know, like literally, that is it. You know, it prevents that distraction.
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  And so I have kind of changed up my brick schedule. I've been using it for a
• 13:53
  while now, but I've changed it up so that...
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  It automatically blocks my social media apps starting, you know,
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  right when I wake up and does not turn my social media apps off until after 9 a.m.
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  And so for me, what that looks like is I wake up, I do my quiet time,
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  I get my kids' lunches made, I get everybody's breakfast made,
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  I get everybody off the door, right? Jess takes them to school.
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  And then that's what? That's 7.30.
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  And then usually what my habit has been is I will go sit down on the couch.
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  I will talk to my PFM plus clients and then I will kind of waste time, right?
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  Like 30 minutes, 45 minutes some days of just like checking in with the world.
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  And I was starting my morning like that every single morning.
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  And so I'm like, no wonder I go upstairs and I'm just kind of like,
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  okay, let me get to the day. Let me see what, you know, what people need from
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  me or whatever, because I had lost my zen, for the lack of a better word, right?
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  Like I had had my quiet time. I was feeling so peaceful with the Lord.
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  And then what? The kids wake up, we're going 500 miles an hour.
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  And then I'm staying distracted all the way, you know, until I decide to get
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  ready and start working.
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  And so I realized that that was like a disconnect for me because I was starting
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  the day so intentional with the Lord, but then I was allowing, you know,
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  the world's chaos to kind of distract me before I started my work,
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  which for me, right, the focus is my work.
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  I'm like starting the day wanting to say, Lord, what do you have for me?
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  You know, what do you want me to say today? That kind of thing.
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  But it was hard for me to get back to that point after I had let the world distract
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  me for, you know, the past hour or whatever.
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  So my brick does not go off until 9 a.m.
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  And usually by 9 a.m., I have been up here all up in all the things for work.
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  So I'm not even thinking about.
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  You know, checking Instagram at that point. So anyway, that has been really beneficial to me.
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  But that takes intentionality, right?
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  Like it takes you zooming out and saying, okay, where in my day am I kind of losing it?
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  Where in my day am I losing my peace, my zen, my focus, right?
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  And it's really easy to blame other people, okay?
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  It's really easy to say, well, it's when my kids wake me up and they're so cranky
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  or whatever, Or, well, it's when my boss gets to work and he comes in my office fussing.
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  But like, if you really zoom out even further and you think about what kind
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  of heart posture were you in when that happened?
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  Were you already distracted by something?
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  You know, because a lot of times we can be frustrated with our kids or our co-workers or whatever.
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  And usually, I mean, sure, we can have some pain in the tail,
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  kids and co-workers, don't get me wrong, but usually it's because our brains
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  weren't equipped and prepared for what they delivered.
• 17:01
  To us because we were distracted by something else, right?
• 17:06
  And so, anyway, this has been a game changer for me over the past few weeks.
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  I actually started it with Lent, and it has been great.
• 17:14
  Also, for, you know, starting that day intentional, I have really been putting,
• 17:20
  I always put worship music on, like, when I'm in my office working,
• 17:24
  as long as it's something, you know, as long as, like, right now it's clearly
• 17:27
  not on, but I've actually been doing it first thing in the morning too,
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  like over our speakers in the kitchen.
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  And that has been not only so good for me, but so good for everybody.
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  You know, they all wake up and we're just listening to Jesus music and Glory's
• 17:42
  looking like she wants to kill somebody because she hates to wake up in the morning.
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  But you can see her little self just soften as she's eating her toast,
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  you know. So that's been really good.
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  And I think another thing that I have really been doing in this area is constantly
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  coming back to presence in the now.
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  A lot of times mental clutter comes when we are trying to solve the problems
• 18:08
  that are due next hour, next day, next week, next month. You know,
• 18:13
  we're already thinking ahead.
• 18:14
  And our brain is wired that way. Our brain is wired to think like,
• 18:18
  okay, if I can just get ahead of this, I'll fix it.
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  You know what I mean? And the reality is that's not true.
• 18:24
  Like we, nothing can be solved unless you were in the present moment doing the present thing, right?
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  And so worrying about your doctor's appointment next week is not going to help.
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  Worrying about your kid's science test that you're not at the school sitting by her present for.
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  Will not help, you know, and so really constantly throughout my day,
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  especially in the beginning parts of the day, I'm reminding myself,
• 18:48
  okay, this is where I'm at right now.
• 18:51
  Constance, you don't have the answer for the future of the program.
• 18:55
  You don't know what Perfect Fit Nutrition will look like in October of 2026,
• 19:00
  but what can you do today that feels aligned with how you are feeling and what
• 19:07
  you know you need to be doing for the program today, right?
• 19:11
  And that immediately takes the pressure off of what does the program look like in October, 2026?
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  You know, like I'm immediately like, okay, I can't worry about that right now.
• 19:21
  You know, another thing that we talked about this on the retreat and I think
• 19:25
  it's really, it's so simple, but like it has been so beneficial for me and I
• 19:31
  may have shared it here too.
• 19:32
  I cannot remember, but for the past several years, I've tried to use a paper
• 19:35
  planner, and y'all, it just doesn't work.
• 19:37
  When you're an online business owner, you can't use a paper planner,
• 19:40
  because everything's online, like, you know, like, I just would,
• 19:43
  and my planner was never with me when I needed it to.
• 19:46
  Now, I know some people, like teachers and different, different,
• 19:50
  you know, style women, they carry their planner everywhere, and so it works,
• 19:55
  but for me, it was not working.
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  So, this year, I decided, okay, I'm going to go back to,
• 20:00
  just using my Google Calendar for my to-do, like my appointments and meetings and all of that.
• 20:08
  But I still, just like every other woman on the planet, because I talk about
• 20:11
  this all the time, right, I still have a ton of things on my mental load.
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  Like there's just so many things I need to be thinking about or want to remember
• 20:20
  to do when I have some downtime or I have to get done today at work.
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  And I may not have it on my calendar, right, but it's got to get done.
• 20:29
  Like this podcast got to get recorded today. You know what I mean?
• 20:33
  And so I have just a note in my phone.
• 20:37
  And under that note, I brain dump everything I need to do. I need to think about.
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  I need to, you know, whatever.
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  Anything that comes across my mind, right? I put it there. I have one for work
• 20:52
  and I have one for everything else.
• 20:54
  And so things like order a rug for the baby's room, you know,
• 20:58
  order some maternity denim shorts, return the vuory shorts that did not fit,
• 21:06
  you know, but all the things, right?
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  And I just put it there so that it's no longer on repeat in my brain.
• 21:15
  It is now on paper, for lack of a better word. And I don't have to like feel
• 21:21
  like I have to hold it all.
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  I know that when I do get a down minute, I can open that note.
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  If it's the working hours, I will open my work note. And if it's non-working
• 21:31
  hours and I have free time, I will open the other note, right?
• 21:34
  And knock out some of those things on my list, okay?
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  And so for work specifically, I have it listed out in a way that is kind of
• 21:44
  like next week, these are the things I need to get done.
• 21:47
  And then long term, these are the things I need to get done.
• 21:50
  And then at the beginning of each week, I try to take the previous week's next week section, right?
• 21:58
  Because it's next week. Now we up in this week, right?
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  I try to go in and assign, okay, I'm going to do this on Monday.
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  I'm going to do this on Tuesday. I'm going to do this on so that I have a plan
• 22:09
  like that immediately gives me a plan for the week of how to accomplish the
• 22:14
  things that I need to accomplish.
• 22:15
  And so this is something that I have been doing for a while,
• 22:18
  but I thought I'd mention it here because it really has helped me just lighten
• 22:23
  that mental load and also like lose the pressure of doing everything at once, specifically at home.
• 22:31
  You know, I am so bad about wanting to like cook a bunch of meals on Monday,
• 22:37
  also do the laundry on Monday, also clean all the house on Monday,
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  also make sure the kids like random things like their school shoes and their
• 22:46
  lunchboxes get a wash and, you know, I'll just.
• 22:49
  Also need to run to Kroger and I need to pick up something from Target.
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  And, you know, like I just I want to do it all on the day that I think about it.
• 22:57
  And so this has really helped me to say like no girl we're gonna wash them lunch boxes on wednesday,
• 23:04
  because wednesday is when they eat lunch at school because every wednesday they
• 23:07
  serve breakfast at school and these children love breakfast at school you know
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  like it helps me to say these are all the things that i still need to get done
• 23:14
  nothing has changed they do need to get done but then i can look at them with
• 23:18
  a better lens that says okay.
• 23:21
  What can realistically wait so I don't wear myself out and go to bed cussing everybody out today?
• 23:26
  You know what I mean? So that is one thing that is really helping me with,
• 23:30
  you know, just my mental clutter is starting the day intentional and aligned.
• 23:35
  The next thing is taking pockets throughout the day.
• 23:39
  Now, this one's a little harder, right? Especially for those of us who get caught up in all of our things.
• 23:44
  But it has been probably the biggest game changer for me as of late.
• 23:51
  OK, because the last one and then the next one that I'm going to talk about,
• 23:54
  I really have been working on doing a lot more over time.
• 23:59
  But this one I've been like a lot more intentional about since I have decided
• 24:04
  something had to shift so that I could make room to put this focus on praying
• 24:07
  with the Lord about what's next. Right.
• 24:10
  So just taking throughout my day five minutes. OK, and that may look like my
• 24:14
  walk to the bathroom because I'm pregnant and I'd be walking to the bathroom a lot.
• 24:17
  Right or my walk downstairs to fix my
• 24:21
  lunch or whatever it is but just taking five minutes
• 24:23
  of stepping away breath doing
• 24:27
  some of my breath exercises like a box breath or just focusing in on my breathing
• 24:32
  for a minute or two right or just praying and and y'all I'm not gonna lie it's
• 24:36
  not like a beautifully spoken long elaborate prayer it's just that reminder
• 24:43
  of going hey God I don't know.
• 24:45
  I'm here. I know you're there. Like, let's do this thing. You know what I mean?
• 24:49
  I'm just acknowledging that he is with me during the day, even in the midst
• 24:53
  of the emailing or the webinar or whatever it is that I've got going on, right?
• 25:01
  Maybe even like changing locations. This has been kind of helpful for me,
• 25:06
  like getting up from my desk if I've been here for a couple hours and maybe
• 25:10
  just going to sit outside for just a minute, right?
• 25:13
  Or walking on my walking pad. I have been getting up and walking on my walking
• 25:18
  pad for like five minutes and then coming to sit back down.
• 25:22
  Just something that changes the scenery and it kind of changes my brain, you know?
• 25:30
  But like by doing all these little things, I'm constantly trying to come back
• 25:38
  to that calm and that present, like constantly that reality check so that I
• 25:43
  don't go down that spiral of like,
• 25:45
  okay, and now I got to do this and now I got to do this and now I got to do
• 25:48
  this. And this is why I can never get anything done.
• 25:50
  You know, that doesn't serve any of us ever, you know?
• 25:54
  So by stepping away in some shape, form, or fashion, it has really helped me
• 25:59
  to remember and to put things into perspective as my day goes on.
• 26:04
  Also, one thing that like I've heard, I've heard it being called closing a loop.
• 26:09
  I just call it like closing out tabs, like literally and figuratively. Okay.
• 26:15
  I have been taking the time each day to close out tabs that are open on my computer
• 26:22
  if I no longer need them, right? I am notorious for having like 20 tabs open on my computer.
• 26:27
  And so just truly just every little X gives me some satisfaction just closing
• 26:33
  it out and telling myself, right?
• 26:35
  Like if I need to get back to that website, I will, you know,
• 26:39
  and even things for me, I'm like, sometimes I'll forget websites or forget things.
• 26:44
  And I'm like, OK, if the Lord really wants me to remember this recipe that I
• 26:49
  was looking for this recipe, we'll remember it, you know, or I will Google it
• 26:55
  and it will come up as, you know, recently visited or whatever.
• 26:59
  Like, it is OK to close this out because you have been looking at this same
• 27:03
  recipe in your tabs for the past month and you have not cooked it yet.
• 27:06
  Close it out, you know, because otherwise it's just a reminder of like,
• 27:11
  oh, crap, there's another thing that I meant to do that I keep forgetting to
• 27:14
  do, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 27:15
  So just removing the tabs that are open in my phone and open in my computer has been so helpful.
• 27:23
  I've also forced myself to reply to emails that have sat there too long.
• 27:27
  Either read them and don't reply to them or just reply to them and get on about your day, right?
• 27:33
  Just something about doing the thing I know I need to do, right?
• 27:38
  And setting a timer to prove to myself that it's not going to take all day long
• 27:43
  and it's not going to hurt as bad, right? I have a PFM Plus client and like
• 27:46
  every week, her battle here recently is finishing up her chart notes.
• 27:51
  Like, it's just like finishing up her chart notes. So every week I'm like,
• 27:56
  okay, how many charts you got sitting there?
• 27:59
  You know, how many charts are left open? That kind of thing.
• 28:02
  And so, because I know the power.
• 28:05
  Of what it feels like to close that loop, to say, okay, the circle is fully
• 28:11
  formed. It is fully finished. And now we can put that fully away, right?
• 28:17
  And so anything that you can just remove from,
• 28:20
  is going to be so beneficial to giving you a little more of that satisfaction
• 28:26
  of coming back to the present,
• 28:29
  of finding that calm, of quite literally decluttering your brain just that much more, right?
• 28:36
  So taking those pockets to really just come up against the struggle.
• 28:42
  Honestly, That's what that is, taking the pockets to fight against the battle
• 28:49
  that is constantly pressing on you, the burdens that are constantly pressing on you.
• 28:54
  Instead of running from them by trying to do something else,
• 28:58
  by trying to add something else to your plate, by not looking at them,
• 29:01
  by looking the other way, can you just stop.
• 29:04
  And turn around and look at it in the face and then say, now what can I do here to make it better?
• 29:13
  Like just little things, right? Again, like I said, I'm not gonna be able to
• 29:17
  make, you know, the description of October, 2026, what's perfect fit gonna look like.
• 29:23
  Like that's not something I can handle today.
• 29:26
  But can I close out of the open YouTube video that I've had for three weeks
• 29:33
  of some influencer talking about how she pivoted her business and blah, blah, blah.
• 29:39
  Can I close that out? Because clearly it's been three weeks and I haven't cared
• 29:42
  enough to watch it. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. You know?
• 29:46
  So then my last focus for mental clutter lately has been shutting it down at night.
• 29:51
  Okay? And so I have talked about this for the past over a year.
• 29:55
  I've put my phone in my closet. Like I don't even have, I don't have my phone by my bed at night.
• 29:59
  But when I climb into bed, I really am winding down instead of going to sleep
• 30:05
  with my brain still wired, right, from social media or whatever.
• 30:10
  But I have kind of backed it up even further here lately, meaning...
• 30:15
  There's like a period between when after dinner's over and my kids go to bed
• 30:20
  before Jess and I go to bed.
• 30:22
  And like every single night I'm discerning, what am I going to do with that
• 30:26
  pocket of time? Right. Am I going to take a bath? Am I going to read a book?
• 30:30
  Am I going to scroll? Am I going to shop for maternity clothes lately?
• 30:35
  You know, am I going to finish up any like things that have been on my mind for work?
• 30:41
  Like, what am I going to do with that pocket of time?
• 30:43
  And so here lately, I have been being very intentional about minimal social
• 30:50
  media because I have just noticed that it doesn't help with this mental clutter,
• 30:56
  right? Like I'm not, it doesn't matter.
• 30:58
  It doesn't matter like what y'all are talking about or what is,
• 31:02
  you know, out there. I just, it is not helping me with my mental clutter.
• 31:06
  So minimal social media.
• 31:09
  I have also been very intentional about not responding to texts if like my brain can't get there.
• 31:18
  Like I know, I know, I know my friends, they don't think about things till 8 30 or 9 o'clock at night.
• 31:24
  And they're like, oh, I got to text Constance that or else I'll forget tomorrow
• 31:28
  too. Like I totally understand and I totally get that.
• 31:31
  But just because they remembered at 8 30 or 9
• 31:34
  o'clock does not does not mean that I have
• 31:37
  to engage at 8 30 or 9 o'clock that
• 31:40
  I have to put my my brain there you know because my brain's tired my brain doesn't
• 31:44
  want to think about helping you with xyz or my opinion on xyz because I'm trying
• 31:50
  so hard to again unclutter my brain right so so you talking about you know.
• 31:58
  Should I buy this dress or this dress is maybe not something that my brain is
• 32:04
  ready to just add on, you know, more to talk about.
• 32:08
  And that is not, and y'all, if you feel like that's offensive,
• 32:12
  then that is a boundaries issue.
• 32:14
  Like you, someone has taught you that urgent response and self-sacrificing response equals love.
• 32:23
  And that is not the truth, right? I want to be able to show up for my people
• 32:27
  in the best way when I am at my best, right?
• 32:33
  Instead of just being annoyed that they even thought to ask me about this dress or whatever, right?
• 32:39
  And so I am just choosing to wait till tomorrow.
• 32:43
  And the thing is, it's like I respond when I can respond.
• 32:47
  Like I had a girlfriend ask me last or this week about trip details,
• 32:52
  because a place I had been, she's going and she wanted, you know, some ideas.
• 32:57
  And I'm like, oh my God, when I read it, I'm like, I don't even have the bandwidth
• 33:00
  to think about that. It's been a few years since we've been.
• 33:04
  So I literally waited almost a full 24 hours before I responded to her.
• 33:09
  Right. And like, that was fine. She understood because she will do the same thing to me.
• 33:15
  Wait like a full 24 hours to respond. Like we have that understanding with each
• 33:18
  other where it's like, I know you've got a lot going on and I want I want you
• 33:23
  to reply when you can give me your best, right? And so it's the same for her.
• 33:29
  Like if I ask her about something, I know she may not reply till next week,
• 33:32
  you know, and that's okay.
• 33:34
  Also to shut it down, you know, have to be okay with leaving some things for tomorrow.
• 33:41
  You know, one thing that I've been kind of picking up lately is more of the dishes.
• 33:46
  Jess, you know, Jess is our dish daddy around here, but he is just really like
• 33:51
  his work. Like, my mental thought is like, okay, he comes in at five.
• 33:57
  He can either, you know, spend some of his short time, and that's if we don't
• 34:02
  have dance or soccer or whatever going on after, you know, in the evening,
• 34:06
  in those three hours that we maybe get with him, like he can spend 30 minutes
• 34:13
  of it doing the dishes, or I can spend,
• 34:16
  you know, I do the dishes a lot faster than him, but don't tell him I said that.
• 34:20
  I can spend, you know, 10 or 15 minutes doing the dishes before he's even home,
• 34:26
  you know, while the kids are doing homework or watching TV or whatever they're
• 34:29
  doing, you know, and get it done. Right.
• 34:33
  And so, so it's kind of become my responsibility and, but I've kind of become
• 34:37
  a helicopter at the dishes to where it's like after dinner, if we have four
• 34:41
  dishes in the sink, I'm thinking, oh, I got to get them done before we go to
• 34:44
  bed and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 34:45
  And I have had to be very intentional about saying, no, you can leave those.
• 34:50
  It's okay. If Jess comes along and does them great, but if not,
• 34:53
  like they can still be there in the morning.
• 34:56
  And then the thing is, is like I'm up and moving in the mornings in the kitchen
• 35:00
  before the kids have even come out, so I can then do the dishes while,
• 35:04
  you know, in the morning. Anyway, that's just a rant. That's.
• 35:10
  Okay, it is okay if you leave some things, but if you're like me,
• 35:14
  I can't just be like, screw them dishes, I'm gonna let them rot there.
• 35:17
  You know, I do have to have a plan for how I'm gonna come in later and actually follow up there.
• 35:22
  But think about how can you shift things a little bit different so that you
• 35:26
  can actually shut it down at night.
• 35:28
  So you don't feel like you are zooming around like a bat out of hell until you
• 35:33
  are so exhausted that you just hit the bed.
• 35:37
  You know, that is not the way to reduce the mental clutter, right?
• 35:43
  Another thing that I've really been doing that kind of falls under this category
• 35:46
  is just reflecting on what I did get done, like at the end of the day,
• 35:52
  you know, like what did I get done?
• 35:54
  No, I'm not going to sit here and dwell on all the things on that little notes
• 35:58
  list that I did not get done.
• 36:01
  I really want to try to lean into, okay, what did I get done?
• 36:04
  Like I accomplished some stuff today, you know, may not have been exactly everything
• 36:08
  I wanted to accomplish, but still that doesn't discount the things that I actually did accomplish.
• 36:14
  And just remembering that, that positive mindset, that gratitude for the things
• 36:19
  that did actually happen today,
• 36:21
  instead of spending so much time dwelling on the things that did not.
• 36:25
  Because again, that dwelling creates more clutter in our brain,
• 36:29
  more like, okay, well now I have all this stuff to do tomorrow and I have to
• 36:32
  tack on all the three things that I didn't get done today. I got to do that tomorrow, too.
• 36:35
  So I need to wake up at 4 a.m. and I'm probably not going to be able to go to bed till whatever.
• 36:39
  You know, it helps us zero.
• 36:43
  And so, you know, that is another thing that I have just really been trying to lean into.
• 36:47
  Okay, I did not solve the perfect fit nutrition future of 2026 problem today.
• 36:56
  But I did get more clarity around this topic with the business, you know what I mean?
• 37:02
  Or I was more intentional about diving in deeper in this area, you know.
• 37:07
  So anyway, I hope that is helpful for you guys today. I have just noticed so many,
• 37:13
  ladies, right here with me, right? Like we have got, there are so many moving
• 37:17
  parts all the time, and there are so many opinions and ideas and everything
• 37:20
  coming from everywhere.
• 37:21
  And so I think this topic is more important now than ever.
• 37:25
  I think it's something we need to be constantly reminded of.
• 37:27
  It's like, if we don't take control of our days, take control of our mental
• 37:33
  capacity, then it will run wild and it will not turn out good.
• 37:39
  You know, that is not a good things. So we have really got to take those thoughts captive.
• 37:43
  We have really got to create some boundaries and really just kind of walk in
• 37:49
  our days remembering to come back to the present so that our perspective is in the right place.
• 37:57
  So anyway, as always, I hope you guys have a wonderful week and remember to say grace. Thank you.
• 38:13
  Five-star review. Also, make sure to follow the show so you don't miss another episode.
• 38:18
  Plus, if you're interested in learning more about losing weight and eating the
• 38:22
  food you love, make sure to subscribe to my email list by going to perfectfitnutrient.com.