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What The World Needs More Of - Tip Jones - S01E01 · What Does The World Need More Of?

• 0:07
  Speaker 2: Hi.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Everyone, welcome to the one question, what does the world
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: need more of? Today, I'm honored to introduce my friend
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: and former Tuck colleague, Tip Jones, who is going to
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: share her thoughts about what the world needs more of.
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: So Tip, what are we missing in our world and
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: what do we need more of?
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: The world needs more mirrors, for sure.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: I believe that if folks actually saw themselves in other people, um,
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: and release the need to judge as they don't judge themselves, um,
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: as critically as deeply.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Um, folks would not be jerks. People would be nicer.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Um, I get the impression that I get the impression
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: that humans have, um, a knack for being passive aggressive
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: and bully-ish, like nice nasty, because maybe they treat themselves
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: that way. If they saw themselves in their purest form,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: if they saw themselves kindly, if they saw themselves with.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: More grace, they would offer that to more people. And so,
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: go ahead, yeah.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry to interrupt. I was thinking about your mirror comment. And,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: you know, at first I said, you know, maybe I'm
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: used to seeing the mirror in front of me, but
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: when I go shopping, right, I get to have those
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: mirrors that are more surrounding and I get to see,
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not going to say the backside, but yeah, I think,
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: you know, I get to see the side and the
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: back and it's not always what is here. So is it,
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: is it part of it? A 360 kind of a,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: do you see how I am? Not only, emotionally in
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: my eyes, but, but in my heart and in my dealings.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. Um, I think, I think a three-way mirror, um,
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: might be more beneficial to your point.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: A three-way mirror. Yeah.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Well, three, three, the three panel, no, wait, three panels
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: so that you can see that 360, um, will be
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: very beneficial, but it, But again, it's still, if you
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: talk badly about yourself, chances are you'll talk badly about
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: other people. And the goal for the world having more
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: mirrors is so we take a good look at ourselves
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: and we see ourselves.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: Purely and kindly. And if we can give ourselves that.
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: Grace and not be so critical and nice, nasty to ourselves, like,
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: why is your nose so big? Or Why is your hair,
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: your hairline is pushed back too far. You can't lose
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: the weight. You know, that internal dialogue that too many
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: humans have. Then we go out into the world and
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: we spread more of that negative energy. But if you
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: look in the mirror, you're like, I'm fabulous. My God, girl, your.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Skin is clear, right? I mean, that type of energy
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: will flow out through you.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: So I guess in a way, having more mirrors in
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: the world could also be.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: Not so positive. if you don't see yourself well.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: So part of this then is developing my own self-worth
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: or my own self-ego to feel, are you saying if
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I feel better about myself because I'm looking in the mirror,
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: I'll enter the world in a better place?
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: So if we walk down into the world and the
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: world had more mirrors, What do you think some of
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: the cultural and corporate and family benefits might be? You've
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: used the word grace several times. And I think of
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: grace probably in very much a religious perspective, right? There's
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: a whole tremendous amount of grace. That may not be
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: how you're thinking about it. So let's assume we walk
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: into the world and tomorrow the world has more mirrors.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: What could we expect? to be an improvement?
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: I think initially the improvement, so the first thing, let
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: me just walk you through my train of thought. The
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: first thing I think of is folks will be in shock.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: They get tired of seeing themselves because there are people
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: who avoid mirrors at home.
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: And they only have one, right? So they have more
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: than one.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: So to have a bunch of mirrors could become startling
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: for many people. But to some degree, you start to
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: recognize that other people are looking at themselves and looking
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: at you and smiling. Because now, like if there are mirrors,
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: let's say we're in New York City, we're on 34th
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: Street near Macy's, And there were mirrors literally all the
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: way down the street on 34th Street.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: Technically, there are. It's just a reflection through windows. Right.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: You can see your reflection. Right. So imagine that those
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: windows are actually mirrors.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: Other people looking at themselves, they see you and they
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: they see you slightly differently than how they saw you
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: when they were walking behind you, beside you or in
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: front of you. and they compliment you just because you
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: happen to be sharing the.
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: Mirror with them, right? You're sharing in this experience.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: A positive outcome would be going home or going to
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: work and wanting to pass that compliment on. You know,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: it's kind of, you want to pay it forward. In
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: a way, just energetically, you want someone else to feel
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: the way you felt in that moment.
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: So I think that's one of the positive outcomes. Okay.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: So, so, you know, I think about that. When you
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: first met me, I was quite a bit heavier and
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: personal journey, personal choice. So, so no issues for other people.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: And I will tell you that I avoided the mirror, right?
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: Or if I did, I looked at the mirror straight ahead,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: but I didn't see what the camera saw because sometimes
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the camera sees it differently. And today, I'll tell you
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: that I don't avoid the mirrors. And so maybe because
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'm more aligned with myself, the mirrors, whether they're on
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: 34th Street or whether they're in my home, I embrace them. And,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: and I think, I think you're onto something there that,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: that just how we feel about each other will help us, um,
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: be better to others.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: There's also, um, so I too was a hundred pounds heavier, um,
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: and didn't particularly care for the mirror. Definitely hated shopping.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: Now I got to stop myself from shopping. I have
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: no problems with the mirror. So I feel you. But
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I was at a concert this weekend and quick story.
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: I was at a concert this weekend and there was
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: a young lady in a bodysuit and And I imagine
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: that when she put on that body suit, she thought
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: that she was going to look like the model who
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: was in the body suit that they used to sell it.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: That would be considered a delusion. And I think many
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: of us.
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: Look in a mirror and we have distanced ourselves from
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: our true self and.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: We see something that's not real.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: If we had more mirrors and we did some introspection,
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: we would recognize who we truly are. Not the picture
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: that somebody else painted us, not the, you know, based
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: on expectations, not the person that we seek to be
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: in the future, like who we are right now, so
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: that way we can make the necessary adjustments, changes, edits,
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: and frankly, or not make any changes based on seeing
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: our true selves. I would say that young lady, her
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: friends didn't tell her. The people in the store didn't
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: tell her.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: They made a sale. And when she looked at herself,
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: she saw her aspiration. She didn't see where she was going.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: So if the world's better with more mirrors because we're
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: more aligned and we're aware and we're improving ourselves, What
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: do you think happens when we have an absence of mirrors, right?
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: And we're not looking at ourselves. We possibly might not
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: be looking at others, right? So what do you think
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: the absence of mirrors has created, again, in our culture,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: our communities, our places of employment? What do you think?
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: I think a mirror is a symbol, a symbol to
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: remind us to check in with ourselves. You know, you
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: might tell a young child or a teenager, you know,
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: before you leave the house, look in the mirror. Make
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: sure you don't have coal in your eyes. You don't
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: also have jewel on your face. Your clothes are not wrinkled, right? Like,
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: check yourself out. By not having those mirrors on, We
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: don't do that introspection. And I do believe, Danielle, that
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: folks focus more externally and on other people. And that's
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: where there's so much judgment. Like all the time you
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: could be spending on doing the work on yourself because
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: you're checking the mirror, you now are avoiding that. Well, yeah,
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: you're avoiding it. You're not being intentional at the very
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: least to do that introspection. and therefore looking outside and,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: you know, making other people uncomfortable.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: So, you know, I think when we have more of it,
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: what I'm hearing is we're both internally understanding of ourselves,
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: and we're probably more gracious with our communities and strangers, right?
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Because.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: We're seeing a little bit more of the world as
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: it is and not necessarily how we perceive.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: It, right?
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: So let's kind of think about this for a second.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Imagine that somebody's listening to this podcast and they're in
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: the car, right? So they don't get to see us.
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: They don't have the mirror in front of them, right?
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: But they're listening. What? What?
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: One or two items might they be able to do
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: when they end their journey, because we don't want them
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: stopping their journey, right? What do you think they could
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: do today when they get wherever they're going to start
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: to understand and apply the construct of the world needs
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: more mirrors?
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Take a mindful moment and look at yourself. whether that's
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: closing your eyes and.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Assessing yourself internally or actually staring directly into your rear
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: view mirror. Um, and be grateful. Just a, just a
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: drop of gratefulness can change your day. Grateful for, um,
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: the journey that you're on, your ability to actually navigate it,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: how you got there, what it costs, you were able
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: to afford that, all the various elements of a day
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: and yourself that contributed to this moment, gratefulness. And when
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: you start hearing that inner critic, that is when you
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: add the grace. That is when you give yourself permission
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: to have made the mistakes to have not followed through
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: on a goal that you had in January. That is
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: when you give yourself, that is when you give yourself the, okay,
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: so we restart now. That is when you start habit stacking.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: That is when you try really, really, really small tasks
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: to achieve a goal, opposed to trying this big mountain
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: of a goal to achieve. And as a result of
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: you looking in the mirror, again, figuratively speaking, internally, and
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: then literally, I can, I would bet a few dollars
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: that when you look at other people, you recognize that
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: everyone is fighting a battle that you can't see and
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: you will give them more grace.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: That is absolutely beautiful. And I hope everybody listening just
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: takes that moment of reflection. And again, Tip Jones, thank
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: you very much for being on The One Big Question.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: And her contact information will be in the notes. And
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: I thank you very much. Have a graceful day.