Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Help, I Can't Find My Enneagram Type! with Shannon Renee

Transcript

Help, I Can't Find My Enneagram Type! with Shannon Renee · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks, your wholehearted life and business coach.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: You should know this podcast will inspire you to grow in self-awareness, be passionate about your faith, and get clear on your calling.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you are new here, then welcome to the community of multi-passionate women who love to go deep on topics like faith, Enneagram, relationships, leadership, and community.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: This conversation might provide the step you need to make the change you desire.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get started.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: Have you been struggling to find your Enneagram type or know someone who just can't find their type?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, don't worry, it's not only a common problem, but it is totally normal.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: Today's conversation is going to help normalize this process of finding your type while also sharing with you how coaching can still benefit you, even if you do not know your dominant Enneagram type.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, my friend Shannon and previous client has very generously and kindly shared her time with us to offer a little bit of her story and her experience of what it was like to not find their Enneagram type while we were doing our 12 wholehearted coaching sessions.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, it's true.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We went through all 12 sessions and we didn't 100% land on her dominant Enneagram type.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: She's going to share more of why it was a struggle, and also I'll be sharing more about my process and why it isn't the main objective when it comes to coaching.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching is so much more about examining life's current situation, your emotional struggle surrounding them, and how to get out of maladaptive behaviors that is not helping you thrive.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: We are all blowing it, we're all broken, but it is the brave one who does something about it.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: And Shannon was so brave to not only go through the coaching process, but to also share today.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's a really big deal that she offered her time, and I am so grateful because I think you're going to love learning from her.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: Be sure and give a hello to her on Instagram.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: You can find her at Shannon Renee, and I've put the links in the show notes.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And as an aside, she happens to be an amazing dancer who I have had the pleasure of watching in many performances over the last several years.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you happen to be a Kansas City resident and live in the area, you're going to have to follow her and check out some of the shows that she's in.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: She is phenomenal.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's get right to this conversation about finding your Enneagram type.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: So, Shannon, thank you so much.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to have my friends meet you because that's kind of what this is a little like, hey, meet my friend Shannon, get to know her.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for being willing.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know this wasn't necessarily an easy yes for you.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for the invitation.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I first would love for you to share a little bit of the backstory of what prompted you to check out Enneagram coaching.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like why coaching?
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: Why Enneagram?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Tell us how that came about.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: The kind of shorter version, I guess, is that I was just kind of considering do I need to look into life coaching?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: Do I need to look into counseling?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's Enneagram coaching.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that just has to do more with incorporating your personality and kind of adding that perspective.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was just kind of doing some research and asking questions.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually was listening to a podcast by Michael Jr., which they don't do anymore, but you were a guest on the podcast, and I found out you were based in Kansas City.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, well, I'll just ask and see and get more information.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so just after getting to do the initial consult with you, um, just wanted to keep going and keep probing.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: I just knew there were times in my life where just a lot of different seasons, and sometimes I'm like, man, I'm doing great.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_01: And then sometimes like I'm super overwhelmed and I really need help.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it would be, it would be nice to have some outside perspective.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to turn my friends into counselors.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And so after getting to talk with you, wanted to just kind of approach it from a perspective of, okay, what are my motivations, learning more about myself?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then how can I translate that into this season of life where I'm feeling overwhelmed and trying to figure out some work things and scheduling and community?
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: And there you were.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: And we got to actually meet in person, which was really special.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't always get to happen.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And even if I have a local client, we find Zoom tends to work a little bit better for time constraints.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, I just I loved where in my perspective, you'd been thinking about it for a while, and finally it was that okay, I can't keep doing this on my own.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Time to just seek out other counsel.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: And you were then I I just sensed this the teachability, the openness, and the desire to experience growth, to really engage with something that will take you from where you were and where you felt like you kept ending back to onto better and deeper things.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I love that.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Right away, you were curious and you came in with your question.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: So the first thing oftentimes we talk about, among a lot of other things, but we talked about Enneagram type.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was like, what do you know about the Enneagram?
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: And what do you think resonates with you?
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: Where had you landed?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I I kind of can remember because we were sitting across from each other at the local, I think it was Pilgrim Coffee, in fact.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: But we were talking about a couple types.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: What do you remember from that conversation?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I remember you asking, like, okay, do you think you know your dominant type?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Yeah, I think so.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was explaining um that I thought I was a nine.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_01: And then we just got into the conversation more, and you were like, I don't think you're a nine.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and landing on a nine, that took me a while too.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: I never took an Enneagram test.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_01: I actually really started to hear about the Enagram through some friends in different podcasts that they were listening to.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so at that time in my life, I just had a lot of time to listen to podcasts.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was kind of going the more narrative typing route.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: And it took me a while, like several weeks, probably more than a month, maybe.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was back and forth between the type one and a type nine, and not really knowing anything about the Enneagram, but knowing that sometimes the one is referred to as a perfectionist.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh yeah, that's probably me.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: But then as I was learning more about it, I was like, oh, this is interesting.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's not that's not the dominant type.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, just a lot of listening to podcasts, listening to other people who identified as different numbers, and resonating with, oh yeah, that makes sense.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because I was listening to this series and they were going through each of the numbers.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember getting to the type four, and I was like, that is definitely not me.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_01: I do not like emotions.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: And then just being able to resonate with almost all the other numbers, except for the seven, too.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: I was also like, I'm not a seven.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: But those two, I was like, Yeah, okay, I can rule those out.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it was also interesting because I was in a season in my life where I was actually back at home after having like done some dancings, I was living on my own, and then I was back at home.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was working at a factory and just kind of in a transition season and getting ready to do a discipleship training school with youth with a mission.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: And it just seemed like the Lord was the one who brought the Enneagram into my life as a tool to just do some deeper reflection.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, like I said, it took me a while to even land on the nine.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was like during those weeks, I was just kind of being more observational of myself and okay, how am I responding to this?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: How do I feel about this?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so in that season, I landed on the nine, and it seemed like, okay, this is the mediator, the peacekeeper, but also it kind of felt like uh a blank slate.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: And so as I was identifying with the type nine, and then I was going to France actually for this school, I was going there, I didn't know the language, and I remember being on the plane and felt like I had been in a season where the Lord was like stripping off labels.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And this was the first time in years that I was going to move somewhere, not specifically for a dance opportunity.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so it felt like the Lord was saying, like, that's the last label.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just felt like a blank slate, going to a different country, different language.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, Lord, I want, I want you to show me like who I am and who do you say that I am?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was just interesting to identify with the type nine in that season and feeling like, okay, here's a blank canvas.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And um I don't know.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: I guess I kind of affiliate the type nine with um just being able to resonate with all of the other types.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so just kind of having an openness.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, I just, I don't know, I felt like the Lord was intentional in that season of just kind of maybe revealing that part of me.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: And then so fast forward a couple of years, and then we met, and you're like, I don't the way you're talking, that doesn't really sound like the way type nine talks.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Are you kidding me?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: I've been saying this for like years now.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: And then you said a type four, and I was like, oh my goodness, that's the one I was like, definitely not me.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I did.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_01: We like we went through some numbers and like trying them on, and I appreciated that you gave me the space to like, okay, just try it on.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like, here's the sheet, read this.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Does that resonate with you?
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it doesn't resonate with you.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe that's not it, you know.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so there was a period uh we looked at maybe a type three, maybe a type four, and we kind of ended with like, okay, maybe a type three, not like totally confident in that.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was several months later, and I was like, I think I'm a type four.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: I had been listening to another podcast, and there was someone on there who even just her job, it seemed like it was similar to what I was doing spaces that I was in.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like a lot of times I'm doing a lot of different things, wearing a lot of different hats.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was also kind of hard to identify with how does this fit into a single type?
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: And so just hearing her talk about her experience and then also as like a counter type, that was really helpful for me.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so yeah, I landed on a four, and honestly, I still feel a little like, all right, Lord, maybe it's in this season because you're teaching me how to deal with emotions and like plug into that part, and so holding that loosely, but I don't know, just grateful, recognize how the Lord has used the Enneagram and kind of studying that to show me more about how He's wired me.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So uh beautifully said, Shannon.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: I think you've encompassed the invitation that we get to except if we choose to, which is this journey of discovering different parts of us.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: And even utilizing this self-awareness tool.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: I love how you said this blank slate, going into a completely unknown, unique environment and coming in, okay, Lord, show me what it is about myself that I don't know, or the things that I've previously thought about myself.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: How can I put that on a shelf and be curious about what's really going on beneath the surface?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: So it and it's true.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: I remember sitting there and hearing talking about specific emotions or specific situations.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And while the manner of the ease that you carry, there is this just like you don't carry an intensity, maybe that an assertive stance would have, or there is that peacefulness about you.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I could see where people other people would affirm and say, Oh, I experienced you as a nine, right?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because I know you had a lot of that, but there was just enough where you're sharing the depths of your heart that it made me go, well, okay, like we could totally do the nine, but I would just wonder if there's something a little bit more.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we, yeah, I think we tried on the two at one point.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: We tried on the three, we tried on the one.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: We kind of went through most of them, except for I don't think I ever threw to you.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Here's a seven.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Is that you?
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: The seven or eight just didn't quite fit at all.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: And this is one of the reasons why I invited you to share your story because of of course I've had a lot of experiences with the typing process or mistyping, but the big overarching theme here is that we did our 12 sessions of coaching without being confident of your type.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so I'd love for you to speak to the benefits because some people may shrug off.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Well, can you get a benefit?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: Or do I need to know my type to benefit from coaching?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or what does it look like if I've been through coaching and then discover later on, oh, maybe I was wearing the wrong type through that process.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think one of the biggest benefits, I think, is just the ability to observe and to learn without feeling like I'm trying to fit into something or I'm trying to fit into a narrative, or I identify as this type.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: So my response should be X, Y, Z.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but just that ability to keep learning and observing how am I responding, what seems like it fits.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it also protected me from getting into that, like, oh, I am this number and therefore I act like this.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think that was helpful.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I think for both of us, my 12 sessions ended up looking different than I anticipated coming in because I was just going through a lot of work transition and just trying to figure out some of the like practical life things.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so I feel like there were sessions where even just the number was put on the back burner because here's a real live situation that I'm having to navigate.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I think you having the insight that you do about the Enneagram helped me to navigate in a way that allowed it to be true to me, I guess.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um, without making me feel like, oh, I'm supposed to feel like this, or I should say this, or I should find this solution.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I appreciated that.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think, yeah, it just provided some flexibility to be able to navigate, like, oh, this season I'm actually dealing with this, which I didn't realize I was going to be dealing with when I walked in, but it is very much on the front burner.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: And so I was really grateful for the coaching aspect in that way.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: So it is so true that oftentimes women find me or our paths cross at a moment of transition that they didn't know they were about to go through.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I've said many times, even that word transition, it's been a little bit co-opted, but let me say this.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_00: For those who've experienced labor pains and specifically transition, it is the most painful part of the process.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Where if you don't have an epidural, I promise you're screaming for one because that was me.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we need someone to hold our hand because it is painful, it is hard.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: We oftentimes don't think we're going to make it.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: And so I believe that's really the purpose as it would be for discipleship, kindred friendship, counseling, coaching.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_00: Having someone there through major life transition, whatever that looks like, is so invaluable to keep us going and to remind us we'll eventually get to the other side, or that there is another perspective, or there is someone who's not feeling pain.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: So they can take a little bit of yours as you go through the hard things.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that was part of what I wanted from coaching anyway, was an outside perspective.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so to be able to be in the middle of a situation, feel all the things I was feeling that I didn't want to feel or didn't know how to identify, and have someone from the outside be able to speak in objectively.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: And okay, that makes sense.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's valid that you're feeling like that.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I would recommend this, or this is a professional way to handle that.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so it is really helpful to have your hand guiding me through that.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, truly honored.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I I would hope that that's something else that people could think through, is just knowing uh coaching and specifically Enneagram coaching, it's more than the guide sheets.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_00: And even though I've created my own guide sheets and I love the content on them and I love to share and talk about them, more often than not, especially once we've gotten really comfortable, it's going, oh my gosh, I needed this session yesterday.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: You won't believe what I've been going through and help me process.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I have the benefit.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_00: I actually think the Enneagram piece helps more me, the coach, to be able to try on different perspectives, knowing that the way I would look at something is not the only way.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the advice that I need is not the only advice that is worth giving.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I kind of like it when someone's not totally sure of their types because it forces me to put on those different lenses as a coach and go, what are some other perspectives that would be really valuable?
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I stay curious and help this person stay curious about themselves so we don't get ourselves in a box because right?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: The whole purpose isn't like that's just us, and that's how I'm gonna stay.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, for sure.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: You mentioned it was a podcast that was maybe the catalyst to finally thinking, okay, maybe the four is going to fit me better.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_00: Are there some other moments of clarity that you experienced around that or specific details that just maybe settled it a little bit more in your heart?
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: Again, we will always leave room for going, well, maybe in 20 years I'll figure out a deeper layer, and that's totally fine.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: To be honest, I don't remember super specifically what it even was that she said.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was some of the responsibilities in the role that she was in and how she kind of approached that that helped, like, oh, okay, I'm in a similar role.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: I'm responding similarly, specifically with regard to work.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_01: And then I also think after that, when I was kind of like, okay, maybe this is it.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then I was like really trying on the four more.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think I was just in that season.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: Again, the Lord is like, this is what we're working on right now.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so just in that season where I was like, oh, I can see this, or oh, I can see that I may not like to feel all the things, but they are there.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I do feel things deeply.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think it came with me being in a season where I was recognizing things in myself that were there, but I maybe didn't realize when I was like reading the guide sheets earlier.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think after listening to that podcast, there were just a few things I was like, okay, yeah.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I do do that, you know.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's fantastic.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we've been done with coaching for a while.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, because gosh, we started at least two years ago.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: If I have that correct, the time just blends together.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: But in that, we went through, tried on a couple different types.
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: We went through the 12 sessions, we went through a lot of life transition and big life questions.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: How has it been helpful to know now general tools of coaching and with this combination of, oh, the four does seem to fit.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: How has it continued to help spiritual growth and life growth?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's really, that's why we're doing it.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's, I mean, it's not about navel gazing.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna use it as a tool of growth.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think just in general, the whole process and not being super confident about a type, it allowed me to just keep living my life, recognize there are times that the Lord brings up the Enneagram and He's like, I'm doing something in you, you know?
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think just having that freedom to not like, I have to figure this out and I have to know myself super well.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: And but just like, okay, Lord, you're like bringing this back around.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm paying more attention to that.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so that has been helpful for me.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like you affirmed that it's okay to, I don't have to walk around with my dominant type as my first label.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: So that was really helpful, and then it is helpful being able to name things, and so like settling on a four, and then I'm navigating emotions or I'm navigating just new territory in my life and different situations, being able to kind of okay, what am I feeling right now?
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_01: How am I processing this?
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: What is helpful from just what I know of the Enneagram and even the things that I don't know, but I just know to pay attention.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think that that has been helpful to have less like self condemnation, less like, oh, you should have this figured out, or what are you doing?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_01: But more observation and okay, let's like.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Observe that, take that in.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be my definition, it doesn't have to be the end story, but I can recognize this is what I'm feeling or this is how I'm processing this.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And honestly, the Enneagram has been hugely helpful for me and just getting to interact with other people.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so getting to recognize that people think very differently.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess this is maybe some of the four coming out, but I feel like I think super differently from everybody else.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think just being able to be in different communities, to work different things out in various communities, to improve communication, to not take everything personally, but to be able to recognize, like this person said that thing, and I am tempted to take it in this way, but I know them and I don't think that they meant it like that.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't have to hold on to that.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so that has been really helpful for me, especially as someone who can just be super sensitive and take a lot of things personally.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that has helped.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it's also given me a freedom to have a voice and to say something that maybe I would be afraid to usually, I don't want that person to take it the wrong way, but to know, like, oh, also other people can they can take things.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: They can handle me saying this, or I want to speak the truth in love.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I can also, I'm allowed to have emotions.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: I'm allowed to show up as a person who's not just uh always perfectly accommodating and uh not ruffling feathers or negatively impacting the atmosphere.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's okay to to be frustrated and to actually walk through that emotion as opposed to pretending that I am not frustrated or just things like that.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it has helped relationally as well to let people be where they are feeling what they're feeling, let myself be where I am, feeling what I'm feeling, and then walk through that without having to take everything so personally.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: So wow, that's so good.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_00: I know that just sharing that piece helped someone listening and it was yeah, so good.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_00: I have two more questions for you.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: One is just this idea again, the tension, kind of going back to the beginning of the story where we're sitting together and I'm encouraging you to try on a different type.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because in that process, it was like we're gonna still try on the nine.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: Was what was it for you with the nine that you because it wasn't too long where we got into it, where you're like, oh yeah, I'm not sure if this fits.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'd just love to hear in your own words because it hasn't come up as much as maybe someone would think when you're trying on the different types and you thought for a while that maybe the dominant was nine.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think part of it was that I had thought I was in nine for years.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I think there were things that I was like, oh yeah, this makes sense.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, it's like that's the nine part.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I think then being like, oh, but those things were like really like I really did feel like that in that moment, or I really did respond in that way.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: So I think some of it was just like being okay with, okay, you you responded in that way, or that seemed like it identified with the nine, but maybe there's other types that would respond similarly.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe there's another reason why that seems like it fit the nine, but that isn't the dominant type.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And then I came to you because I wanted help.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: So I think being willing to like, okay, she's the expert.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna like try this on, and yeah, and then just be willing to go back to the drawing board.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think yeah, I don't know.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: Again, just that it's okay if you don't have it all figured out.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: There was definitely humility involved in like, okay, I guess I don't know myself that well.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, just being willing to try on another number by size.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: I think there ultimately was freedom in that.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: Just recognizing like I'm a human being who has a complexity of you know, body, soul, and spirit.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay to keep discovering and keep learning.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Does that answer your question?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so good.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: I you and I want to just highlight something.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: It it did take humility.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I want to, I know I've I think I've said that to you of like way to go.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I saw that in you, the teachable, humble heart in this process of going, okay, maybe I don't know.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it is hard to think that we may not know ourselves.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so I just want to put that in the light for a second, and it can create anxiety in us to think, oh my gosh, I have been blinded to my own motivations or my own behavior.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: But you highlight something even in in that sharing that where it can be very easy to just put on a type and just only to to continue to assign ourselves to it.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I see people do it often.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm such a type, this, or it's because I'm this type, I act this way, right?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_00: Using it as a sword or as a shield and weaponizing it against ourselves, maybe not weaponizing it against others, but against ourselves can keep us blinded to who God really created us to be.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: And so yeah, I it took humility.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: And if I can encourage anyone else in this, is like it's okay if you are a coach and you've misassigned your number, if you have studied the Enneagram for 20 years and declared to the world what number you were all this time.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: There's only beautiful things and beauty that can come from going, well, there's room to be wrong in this or to just only see part of it.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so anyway, I that was that was really beautiful.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you for sharing that.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you just are like you're just a beautiful person.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I've overused that word in this conversation, but it's true and and it's what you just exude and you offer.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think one last thing, and then my last question is just I would give a nod to the profession that we're in or the circumstances that we find ourselves surrounded by can influence how we see ourselves.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because to your point, in a world of performers, there's there's so many elements of that that can impact.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_00: And for years, I mean, dancing has been the majority of your life and a big part of your life.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that can impact how you go through these processes.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: So it's important and valuable to be able to step outside of it.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: I I know for me, the working genius has been a complex, very beneficial system, but I've also had a hard time stepping outside of my role as a solopreneur to go, what actually brings me joy?
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_00: What have I just had to do?
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_00: Because that was how I was assigned or what I have to carry.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think we can the same thing can happen with Enneagram.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: What role did I have to play?
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: And how did the lens I was looking through impact that?
• 29:10
  SPEAKER_00: And as we've continued to talk about here, you know, trauma plays a part, and there's there's all sorts of reasons.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_01: So I was just gonna say, I do think that was also a part of the process and recognizing um, oh, I've shown up in these spaces in this way because I felt like I had to.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: And so I've kind of put this on as, oh, I think this is who I am, but some of it was the Lord peeling back layers of you thought this is who you had to be.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you let go of that, then what actually comes to the surface?
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so, yeah, just what you were saying about different seasons and circumstances and situations, it definitely impacts, I think.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_00: 100%.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that was a great last word, but I did want to open it up.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_00: Is there anything else that you would share with a friend here who is on this journey, maybe realizing they mistyped themselves or are still trying to figure out what's true of them?
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would just encourage you to keep going.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen this in my life a lot, and I think it is valid for personal discovery as well.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like just recognize the seasons that you're in and recognize when it is this is like an observational or a research gathering season.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it's okay if I don't have the answers, which is hard sometimes, but it's okay if I don't have the answers.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just gathering data, I'm just recognizing this is what is what I'm gravitating to towards in this season.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is what's resonating with me.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_01: This is the type that seems like it fits right now.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: And okay, but this thing happened and that doesn't really fit with that type.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm just like receiving that and kind of cataloging it.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to know what to do with it yet.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I would, yeah, I just encourage people to keep observing and know that the Lord knows you and sees you as you are because he made you.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so we don't have to have all the answers to be able to put a bunch of labels on when I went to do the discipleship training school, and I was like, Lord, I want you to teach me who I am.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to teach me my identity.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I felt like after really years prior of the Lord starting to do the work of stripping off labels, labels I didn't even realize I was holding on to.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: The only label he gave me was daughter.
• 31:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so just to encourage people as they're learning more about who they are, that ultimately the Lord is the one who defines us.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so there's freedom in not having all the answers about all the other things because the Lord also provides promises to provide what we need.
• 31:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we don't know, then we don't need to know it in that moment, but we can trust the Lord to give us the insight we need when we need it.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: So oh that will preach, Shannon.
• 31:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well done, friend.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well done.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: This is so good.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: I know it was a sacrifice to share.
• 32:03
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for that sacrifice and that love offering.
• 32:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I have so much confidence that there are going to be many people blessed by your words.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, praise the Lord.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for making it fun.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thanks again to Shannon for coming on and sharing a little bit of your story and helping the rest of us realize that this discovery process is totally normal and unique to each one of us.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_00: I hope that you were inspired and encouraged as you listen along to not only use the Enneagram for spiritual growth and discovery, but also to maybe invest in some coaching in your life that will help you gain more clarity on the situations that you're facing in your life.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you know a friend who is struggling to find their Enneagram type or maybe who has been curious about coaching, or you find you're coaching them all the time and you think maybe they could use another voice in their life, would you send them this conversation?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: I love adding more friends to this community and building it and helping others grow, not only in discovering their Enneagram type, but in their spiritual walk, their relationships, and even in the work that they do day in and day out.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Alright, friend, I've got more conversations just like this coming your way where we're going to spend a summer in the Enneagram.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can't wait to have another Ennea summer with you.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, friends, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.