Latest / Motivational Podcast / REPROGRAMMING | Program Your Mind EPISODE 06 [Compilation 01 | 2023] – Rebuild Your Mental Foundation
Transcript
- 0:05Speaker 1: In this issue, you'll discover how a little creative thinking
- 0:08Speaker 1: can lead to big rewards, and then you'll hear why
- 0:11Speaker 1: it's important to embrace new ideas, to experience failure and
- 0:15Speaker 1: reshape attitudes.
- 0:35Speaker 2: Failure is a gold mine. Successful people have it. One
- 0:42Speaker 2: time or another experienced catastrophic failure. There are people who
- 0:45Speaker 2: have rolled up his sleeves and gone to work on
- 0:47Speaker 2: a project in which they earnestly believed, only to discover
- 0:50Speaker 2: themselves ridiculous and embarrassing failures in spite of all their
- 0:53Speaker 2: plans and work. As a result, these people had to
- 0:56Speaker 2: sit down and perform ruthless surgery upon their souls to
- 0:59Speaker 2: examine themselves and the cause of their failure. The person
- 1:03Speaker 2: who settles in for a lifetime of doing an average
- 1:06Speaker 2: job in an average way experiences neither success nor failure,
- 1:10Speaker 2: but rather a lifetime of middle level performance. The single
- 1:14Speaker 2: element permanently inhibiting his success is not a lack of
- 1:17Speaker 2: inspiration or talent necessarily, but the absence of catastrophic failure
- 1:21Speaker 2: and the soul surgery that follows it. The element lacking
- 1:31Speaker 2: is shock therapy failure, the bucket of ice cold water
- 1:35Speaker 2: that forces him to take inventory reorganize, re educate himself,
- 1:39Speaker 2: and realize that a large success in any field takes
- 1:42Speaker 2: large effort and unflagging persistence and dedication. Don't let a
- 1:52Speaker 2: big failure or a series of little ones keep you
- 1:54Speaker 2: from trying again. William Blake wrote, if the sun and
- 2:03Speaker 2: the moon should doubt, they'd immediately go out. Perfectionism is
- 2:09Speaker 2: a dangerous state of mind in an imperfect world. We
- 2:13Speaker 2: set a goal of perfection before ourselves, and groaning, we
- 2:16Speaker 2: conclude that it cannot be achieved. The best way is
- 2:21Speaker 2: to forget doubts and set about the task in hand.
- 2:23Speaker 2: While the battle is being fought or the cake is
- 2:25Speaker 2: baking in the oven, leave the outcome to the future
- 2:28Speaker 2: where it belongs. Failure is the best guarantee of future success.
- 2:35Speaker 2: To fail, we have to try to do something. This
- 2:38Speaker 2: in itself is an achievement, regardless of the outcome, So
- 2:42Speaker 2: try again and build your success upon the failures of
- 2:45Speaker 2: the past. Go after that dream in your heart, give
- 2:49Speaker 2: it everything you've got, and don't concern yourself about the outcome.
- 2:53Speaker 2: Leave that to the future where it belongs. Concentrate only
- 2:56Speaker 2: on your goal and on doing your best. Worthy tranps
- 3:02Speaker 2: cannot be won without faith enough to maintain our integrity.
- 3:10Speaker 3: A man's life is what his thoughts make of it.
- 3:13Speaker 3: Everything comes if a man will only wait. I have
- 3:15Speaker 3: brought myself, by long meditation, to the conviction that a
- 3:18Speaker 3: human being with a settled purpose must accomplish it, and
- 3:22Speaker 3: that nothing can resist a will that will stake even
- 3:25Speaker 3: existence for its fulfillment. If you only care enough for
- 3:29Speaker 3: a result, you will almost certainly attain it. Only you
- 3:32Speaker 3: must then really wish these things, and wish them exclusively,
- 3:36Speaker 3: and not wish at the same time a hundred other
- 3:38Speaker 3: incompatible things. Just as strongly. Our doubts are traitors and
- 3:43Speaker 3: make us lose the good we oft might win by
- 3:46Speaker 3: fearing to attempt.
- 3:49Speaker 2: More than anything else, a person's manners tell the world
- 3:52Speaker 2: who and what he is. To be well mannered is
- 3:55Speaker 2: to do the thing you should do, although you're not
- 3:56Speaker 2: obliged to do it. In our day to day lives.
- 4:06Speaker 2: Manners are of more importance than laws. That is, the
- 4:09Speaker 2: law touches us only here and there and now and then,
- 4:12Speaker 2: But manners vex or please us, debase or exalt us constantly.
- 4:25Speaker 2: We do not know a man until we know how
- 4:27Speaker 2: he spends his leisure. It is when a man ceases
- 4:30Speaker 2: to do the things he has to do and does
- 4:32Speaker 2: the things he likes to do that the character is revealed.
- 4:36Speaker 2: It is then we see the inner man, his real self.
- 4:41Speaker 2: The thing that's always bothered me is how a human
- 4:44Speaker 2: being can live for thirty or forty or fifty years
- 4:47Speaker 2: and find no interest, no charm, and excitement in the world.
- 4:53Speaker 2: If someone should steal ten dollars from us, it might
- 4:55Speaker 2: take us days to get over it. Yet how much
- 4:58Speaker 2: priceless time do we steal from ourselves? Someone was calculated
- 5:03Speaker 2: that the average person is given about a half million hours,
- 5:06Speaker 2: give or take one hundred thousand or so, and it's
- 5:08Speaker 2: up to each of us to determine what his time
- 5:10Speaker 2: on earth is worth in whatever values he feels are
- 5:13Speaker 2: important to him. But if we don't get what we
- 5:16Speaker 2: want out of this life, it's seldom because we're not
- 5:18Speaker 2: given enough time for it. We have more than enough time,
- 5:22Speaker 2: As with most everything else, it's what we choose to
- 5:24Speaker 2: do with it that makes all the difference. Each of
- 5:30Speaker 2: us has a tendency to underestimate his own abilities. We
- 5:33Speaker 2: should realize that we have deep within ourselves in preserve
- 5:37Speaker 2: bore of genius. That can be tapped if we'll just
- 5:40Speaker 2: dig deeply enough. In order to spot and seize an opportunity,
- 5:47Speaker 2: or even to recognize an opportunity, we have to know
- 5:49Speaker 2: where we're going, what it is we want to do
- 5:52Speaker 2: and accomplish. It's always been the tendency of the human
- 5:56Speaker 2: being to mistake the obvious for the truth, to see
- 5:58Speaker 2: only the surface entirely that which lies below. It seems
- 6:02Speaker 2: with us in our age, we're concerned more with what
- 6:05Speaker 2: a person or a thing looks like than with what
- 6:07Speaker 2: is underneath. Ours seems to be an age of use
- 6:10Speaker 2: and beauty, of bright teeth, clear eyes, abundant health, so
- 6:13Speaker 2: that we can run, not walk, to those events calculated
- 6:16Speaker 2: to distract us. And this superficial attitude is as absurd
- 6:20Speaker 2: as that of the ancients, which held that the sun
- 6:22Speaker 2: traveled around the earth because that's what it appeared to do.
- 6:29Speaker 2: That which is good or even great is always hidden
- 6:32Speaker 2: from our view. Whatever causes anything in creation to be
- 6:36Speaker 2: what it is is that which we cannot see by
- 6:40Speaker 2: looking at it. There is just as much for him
- 6:45Speaker 2: or her as there is for anyone else. It's a
- 6:49Speaker 2: matter of building upon our strengths instead of decrying and
- 6:52Speaker 2: wailing and gnashing our teeth over our weaknesses. When we
- 6:56Speaker 2: start thinking in new directions, which is the definition of genius,
- 6:59Speaker 2: we tend to challenge everything we presently take for granted
- 7:02Speaker 2: and throw out the window for a while all of
- 7:04Speaker 2: our comfortable knowledge of how things are or how they
- 7:08Speaker 2: should be. Well, this is the sort of information that
- 7:12Speaker 2: we need to remind our children of it, ourselves, but
- 7:15Speaker 2: particularly our children, so that they don't happen to look
- 7:18Speaker 2: like the picture on the package of baby food or
- 7:20Speaker 2: the ads of the magazines and on television. They won't
- 7:23Speaker 2: be scarred by unthinking. Children are adults whose frame of
- 7:26Speaker 2: reference is the common, the superficial.
- 7:35Speaker 4: They are all kinds of people in this world. Those
- 7:38Speaker 4: who are content to lead go nowhere lives, and those
- 7:42Speaker 4: who make the most of every opportunity they find. These
- 7:45Speaker 4: are the people who transform even their handicaps into assets
- 7:49Speaker 4: and add meaning to their lives. In short, they program
- 7:52Speaker 4: themselves for achievement. You too, can design your life by
- 7:56Speaker 4: the goals you set for yourself.
- 8:04Speaker 2: There's nothing commonplace in the world except the mental attitude
- 8:09Speaker 2: of man. Her attitudes are the result of choice. Each
- 8:21Speaker 2: of us chooses his or her attitude a human being
- 8:25Speaker 2: can grow accustomed to and take for granted the most
- 8:27Speaker 2: wonderful and astonishing things, not just the miraculous world about him,
- 8:31Speaker 2: but his work as well, and the people with whom
- 8:33Speaker 2: he works, and the people with whom he lives. After
- 8:38Speaker 2: a while, the glow, the radiance seems to fade, even
- 8:41Speaker 2: from the most wonderful and delightful aspects of life. And
- 8:44Speaker 2: that's too bad. It should never happen. Marcus Aurelia is,
- 8:50Speaker 2: a brilliant, thoughtful emperor of Rome about two thousand years ago,
- 8:53Speaker 2: said every man is worth just so much as the
- 8:57Speaker 2: things are worth about which he busies himself. Every man
- 9:04Speaker 2: is worth just so much as the things are worth
- 9:08Speaker 2: about which he busies himself. And that's about it. And
- 9:15Speaker 2: once in a while, it's good to take a look
- 9:17Speaker 2: at what we're doing and what we're noticing. What catches
- 9:19Speaker 2: and holds our interest? Are we conscious of a miracle
- 9:22Speaker 2: that consists of our living here on this small blue planet?
- 9:25Speaker 2: Do we find awe an inspiration from the mystery that
- 9:28Speaker 2: surrounds us during our personal holiday on earth? If we
- 9:31Speaker 2: think about it, the sameness of our lives will vanish,
- 9:34Speaker 2: The ordinary will be a thing of the past, and
- 9:36Speaker 2: we'll begin to notice and enjoy life again and all
- 9:38Speaker 2: that it entails. We won't take people for granted anymore,
- 9:42Speaker 2: or our work or our lives. Before we turn loose
- 9:46Speaker 2: of anything into which we've set our hand in mind,
- 9:48Speaker 2: we should ask ourselves, is this up to my standards
- 9:51Speaker 2: of quality? And because quality of any sort is a
- 9:54Speaker 2: journey more than a destination, we should also ask ourselves,
- 9:58Speaker 2: how can I improve on the quality of what I do?
- 10:05Speaker 2: Wood burns because it has the proper stuff in it,
- 10:08Speaker 2: and a man becomes great because he has the proper
- 10:11Speaker 2: stuff in him. I think that the most fortunate adults
- 10:18Speaker 2: are those who are living well today but who knew
- 10:20Speaker 2: a deprived childhood. It's also true I think that the
- 10:22Speaker 2: most creative people are those who had a rough time
- 10:25Speaker 2: as kids. Children raised in poverty, or if not poverty,
- 10:27Speaker 2: at least on the wrong side of the tracks, must
- 10:30Speaker 2: fall back on their imagination for enjoyment. Their lives are
- 10:33Speaker 2: filled with day dreams. Their imaginations become wonderfully active in
- 10:36Speaker 2: an instant. Their Greek surroundings, convenation, in the warm, sunny
- 10:40Speaker 2: world of their minds, all sorts of wonderful things can
- 10:43Speaker 2: happen to them under almost all conditions. There's a world
- 10:46Speaker 2: to be enjoyed, but the most fortunate people seem to
- 10:49Speaker 2: be those who knew a certain amount of privation. Success
- 10:52Speaker 2: beyond anything we might now imagine, lies in wait for
- 10:55Speaker 2: those who can put together enough courage to actually live
- 10:58Speaker 2: for life. You know, most people live in two worlds.
- 11:04Speaker 2: There's the real world, the world in which they work
- 11:07Speaker 2: and move and live, and there's the world of the imagination,
- 11:10Speaker 2: the world they would secretly like to live in. What
- 11:13Speaker 2: keeps them from moving from the world of reality into
- 11:15Speaker 2: the world of their imagination is habit and the fear
- 11:18Speaker 2: of falling fat on their face, and the attempt and
- 11:20Speaker 2: losing even the little which they presently am, and perhaps
- 11:23Speaker 2: looking ridiculous in the eyes of their loved ones and friends.
- 11:27Speaker 2: What we fare to realize is what Thorreaux discovered, that
- 11:30Speaker 2: if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams
- 11:34Speaker 2: and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined,
- 11:38Speaker 2: he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
- 11:44Speaker 2: Life pays off most handsomely when we're doing that which
- 11:47Speaker 2: we most want to do. When we're actually living the
- 11:50Speaker 2: life we have imagined for so long. It does mean
- 11:56Speaker 2: that we should live the life that we know deep
- 11:58Speaker 2: down in our very being and we would most like
- 12:01Speaker 2: to live. It means that we should be doing that
- 12:03Speaker 2: which every indicator of our makeup, every fiber of our being,
- 12:06Speaker 2: tells us we should be doing, and has been telling
- 12:09Speaker 2: us for some time. What an idea tugs at us
- 12:12Speaker 2: day after day, year after year, when we think about
- 12:15Speaker 2: it as we lie awake in bed, or the first
- 12:17Speaker 2: thing when we wake up, or every time there's a
- 12:19Speaker 2: lull in our days. When it worries our consciousness like
- 12:22Speaker 2: a puppy with a slipper, then it's time to do
- 12:25Speaker 2: something about it. And even though making the move might
- 12:27Speaker 2: seem to jeopardize everything of order in our lives. One
- 12:36Speaker 2: of the ultimate tests of faith is our capacity to
- 12:39Speaker 2: go on believing that somehow the right is the right,
- 12:43Speaker 2: even when right is on the scaffold and wrong seems
- 12:46Speaker 2: to be on the throne. All of the great ventures
- 12:49Speaker 2: of our lives require faith enough to bear the burden
- 12:51Speaker 2: of our doubts so that we're able to take the
- 12:54Speaker 2: first step in the direction that we wish to go.
- 12:56Speaker 2: Enough of faith to keep on going through struggle and
- 12:59Speaker 2: strain and maintain integrity on the way. Faith, as the
- 13:03Speaker 2: ancient seer wrote, is the assurance of things hoped for
- 13:07Speaker 2: the conviction of things not seen. And we need to
- 13:11Speaker 2: exchange a life of doubt diversified by faith, or one
- 13:15Speaker 2: of faith diversified by doubt. When a person doesn't know
- 13:35Speaker 2: what Harbury's making for, no wind is the right wind.
- 13:39Speaker 2: You have to know what you're shooting for to see
- 13:40Speaker 2: the opportunity by which we're all surrounded. If a man
- 13:52Speaker 2: is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where he's going,
- 13:56Speaker 2: that man is a success. If he's not doing that,
- 13:59Speaker 2: he's a faith The opposite of courage in our society
- 14:04Speaker 2: is not cowardice. It is conformity. People acting like.
- 14:09Speaker 3: Everyone else without knowing why, without knowing where they're going.
- 14:13Speaker 3: These people believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances,
- 14:16Speaker 3: by things that happen to them, by exterior forces. The
- 14:22Speaker 3: only man who succeeds is the man who is progressively
- 14:25Speaker 3: realizing a worthy ideal. He's the man who says I'm
- 14:28Speaker 3: going to become this and then begins to work toward
- 14:31Speaker 3: that goal. And have you ever noticed that a man
- 14:38Speaker 3: who becomes successful tends to continue to become successful. And
- 14:42Speaker 3: on the other hand, have you noticed how a man
- 14:44Speaker 3: who is a failure tends to continue to fail. It's
- 14:48Speaker 3: because of goals. Some of us have them, some don't.
- 14:52Speaker 3: People with goals succeed because they know where they're going. Now,
- 15:01Speaker 3: it stands to reason that a person who's thinking about
- 15:03Speaker 3: a concrete and worthwhile goal is going to reach it
- 15:06Speaker 3: because that's what he's thinking about, and we become what
- 15:09Speaker 3: we think about. Conversely, the man who has no goal,
- 15:13Speaker 3: who doesn't know where he is going, and whose thoughts
- 15:15Speaker 3: must therefore be thoughts of confusion and anxiety and fear
- 15:18Speaker 3: and worry, becomes what he thinks about. His life becomes
- 15:22Speaker 3: one of frustration, fear, anxiety, and worry. And if he
- 15:26Speaker 3: thinks about nothing, he becomes nothing. Now think of a
- 15:33Speaker 3: ship leaving a harbor, and think of it with the
- 15:35Speaker 3: complete voyage mapped out and planned. The captain and crew
- 15:39Speaker 3: know exactly where it's going and how long it will take.
- 15:41Speaker 2: It has a definite goal.
- 15:44Speaker 3: Nine hundred and ninety nine times out of ten thousand,
- 15:47Speaker 3: it will get to where it started out to get. Now,
- 15:50Speaker 3: let's take another ship just like the first, only let's
- 15:53Speaker 3: not put a crew on it or a captain of
- 15:55Speaker 3: the helm. Let's give it no aiming point, no goal,
- 15:58Speaker 3: no destination. Just start the engines and let it go.
- 16:02Speaker 3: I think you'll agree with me that if it gets
- 16:04Speaker 3: out of the harbor at all, it will either sink
- 16:06Speaker 3: or wind up on some deserted beach at Drylyn.
- 16:09Speaker 2: It can't go.
- 16:10Speaker 3: Any place because it has no destination and no guidance.
- 16:17Speaker 3: It's the same with a human being. Why do men
- 16:27Speaker 3: with goals succeed in life and men without them?
- 16:30Speaker 2: Faith?
- 16:31Speaker 3: Let me tell you something which, if you really understand it,
- 16:34Speaker 3: will alter.
- 16:34Speaker 2: Your life immediately.
- 16:36Speaker 3: If you understand completely what I'm going to tell you,
- 16:38Speaker 3: from this moment on, your life will never be the
- 16:41Speaker 3: same again. You'll suddenly find that good luck just seems
- 16:44Speaker 3: to be attracted to you, The things you want just
- 16:47Speaker 3: seem to fall in line, and from now on you
- 16:49Speaker 3: won't have the problems, the worries, the gnawing lump of
- 16:53Speaker 3: anxiety that perhaps you've experienced before, doubt fear, well, they'll
- 16:58Speaker 3: be things of the past. Here's the key to success
- 17:02Speaker 3: and the key to failure. We become what we think about.
- 17:26Speaker 5: I think one of the sharpest distinctions between people is
- 17:30Speaker 5: between the small percent who look words up in the
- 17:33Speaker 5: dictionary and the overwhelming majority that don't. I find it
- 17:41Speaker 5: especially helpful when I discover something about the origins of
- 17:45Speaker 5: words in ancient or foreign languages. I looked up the
- 17:48Speaker 5: word character in the dictionary. I learned the origin of
- 17:55Speaker 5: the word, and then I just sat there for a
- 17:57Speaker 5: minute and realized that in this case of the word
- 18:01Speaker 5: just about says it all. So I'm going to tell
- 18:03Speaker 5: you where the word character comes from, and I hope
- 18:06Speaker 5: it has as big an effect on you as it
- 18:08Speaker 5: did on me. Character comes from a Greek word meaning chisel,
- 18:13Speaker 5: or the mark left by a chisel. I'm going to
- 18:16Speaker 5: repeat that because I think it's very important.
- 18:20Speaker 6: Character is derived.
- 18:21Speaker 5: From the Greek word for chisel, And of course, a
- 18:24Speaker 5: chisel is a sharp steel tool used for making a
- 18:27Speaker 5: sculpture out of a hard or difficult material like granite
- 18:31Speaker 5: or marble, and a chisel is also used for stripping
- 18:36Speaker 5: waste material from an option, stripping away stuff that might
- 18:40Speaker 5: get in the way in order to get down to
- 18:42Speaker 5: the essential thing, the thing that really matters. And I
- 18:47Speaker 5: hope you'll remember that you've got to chisel your character
- 18:50Speaker 5: out of the raw material of yourself, just like a
- 18:53Speaker 5: sculptor has to create a statue. The raw material is
- 18:59Speaker 5: always there. Everything that happens to you, good or bad,
- 19:04Speaker 5: is an opportunity for building your character.
- 19:08Speaker 6: Character doesn't refer to other people.
- 19:11Speaker 5: It doesn't refer to having power over other people, or
- 19:14Speaker 5: getting other people to follow you, or gaining favor with
- 19:19Speaker 5: other people. Character is something that you have and.
- 19:24Speaker 6: That you are. Character is all about you.
- 19:31Speaker 5: Character is the person you are after you've chiseled and
- 19:35Speaker 5: chiseled and have gotten past all the unnecessary material to
- 19:39Speaker 5: what's underneath. Character is what's left after charisma is gone.
- 19:49Speaker 5: The essential point is this, I don't think character is
- 19:53Speaker 5: something that just happens by itself. A conscious process of
- 19:57Speaker 5: design is at work. Character is the result of hundreds
- 20:00Speaker 5: and hundreds of choices you may make that gradually turn
- 20:04Speaker 5: who you are at any given moment into who you
- 20:08Speaker 5: want to be. If that decision making process is not present,
- 20:13Speaker 5: you'll still be somebody. You'll still be alive, but may
- 20:17Speaker 5: have a personality rather than a character. Character isn't something
- 20:23Speaker 5: you were born with and can't change, like your fingerprints.
- 20:27Speaker 5: It's something you weren't born with and that you must
- 20:30Speaker 5: take responsibility for making You may not be able to
- 20:36Speaker 5: cross the rocky mountains in a covered wagon, but you
- 20:39Speaker 5: can still create a better life for yourself by crossing
- 20:43Speaker 5: the mountains of your soul, and that may be even
- 20:47Speaker 5: a greater challenge. I don't think adversity by itself builds character,
- 20:55Speaker 5: and I certainly don't think that success erodes it. You
- 21:00Speaker 5: can build character by how you respond to what happens
- 21:03Speaker 5: in your life, whether it's winning every game or losing
- 21:06Speaker 5: every game, or getting rich or dealing with hard times.
- 21:11Speaker 6: You build character out.
- 21:12Speaker 5: Of certain qualities that you must create and diligently nurture
- 21:16Speaker 5: within yourself, just like you would plant and water a seed,
- 21:20Speaker 5: or gather wood and build a campfire. You've got to
- 21:25Speaker 5: look for those things in your heart and in your gut.
- 21:30Speaker 5: You've got to chisel away in order to find them,
- 21:33Speaker 5: just like chiseling away rock in order to create the
- 21:36Speaker 5: sculpture that has previously existed only in your imagination. But
- 21:47Speaker 5: the really amazing thing about character is that if you're
- 21:51Speaker 5: sincerely committed to making yourself into the person you want
- 21:54Speaker 5: to be, you'll not only create those qualities, strengthen them,
- 22:00Speaker 5: and recreate them in abundance even as you're drawing on
- 22:04Speaker 5: them every day of your life. Character sustains itself and
- 22:08Speaker 5: nurtures itself even as it's being put to work and
- 22:12Speaker 5: tested and challenged. Since ancient times, philosophers have seen it
- 22:22Speaker 5: as the basis of all real achievement.
- 22:26Speaker 6: This is the quality of courage.
- 22:33Speaker 5: I can't put it any better than the Greek philosopher
- 22:36Speaker 5: Aristotle did more than two thousand years ago.
- 22:40Speaker 6: A truly courageous person is not someone who never feels fear,
- 22:47Speaker 6: but who fears the.
- 22:48Speaker 5: Right thing at the right time, in the right way.
- 22:57Speaker 5: For a mature human being, there has got to be
- 22:59Speaker 5: some higher value or higher truth than just staying on
- 23:03Speaker 5: in life. Part of wisdom is knowing what you lack
- 23:15Speaker 5: and looking for it and asking for it. Another part
- 23:19Speaker 5: of wisdom is knowing, at the same time as you ask,
- 23:23Speaker 5: that there are no final answers, there are always more questions.
- 23:40Speaker 6: Remember, you're never.
- 23:42Speaker 5: Really helpless, and the sense that you are helpless, or
- 23:46Speaker 5: that you might be if certain things were to happen,
- 23:48Speaker 5: is something we really ought to be afraid of and
- 23:52Speaker 5: that we should refuse to accept. You're never just a
- 23:59Speaker 5: victim of circumstances. No matter what happens, you're never without
- 24:04Speaker 5: options that can get you back on track. It takes
- 24:09Speaker 5: courage to recognize that, because it means accepting responsibility for
- 24:13Speaker 5: your own future. Let me emphasize that underlying most fears
- 24:20Speaker 5: the fear of helplessness, of being victimized, or being blown
- 24:24Speaker 5: around by the winds of fate like a leaf is
- 24:26Speaker 5: blown off a tree. But is that really a legitimate
- 24:31Speaker 5: way of looking at things? To me, it sounds like
- 24:34Speaker 5: being afraid of the dark, in which case the best
- 24:38Speaker 5: thing to do is to get yourself up out of
- 24:41Speaker 5: bed and switch on the light. It's only in the
- 24:45Speaker 5: past fifty years or so people have come to expect
- 24:48Speaker 5: a life without real tough times and real difficulties. But
- 24:53Speaker 5: adversity isn't something to fear. It's something to expect, something
- 24:58Speaker 5: to prepare for, and something to overcome. The truly courageous
- 25:04Speaker 5: person is not immune to fear, but it plays a
- 25:07Speaker 5: different role in his or her life than it does
- 25:10Speaker 5: for other people. If you're a courageous person, your fears
- 25:16Speaker 5: aren't about what someone might do to you or something
- 25:19Speaker 5: that might happen to you. Your fears are about not
- 25:25Speaker 5: living up to your ideals, about reacting instead of acting
- 25:31Speaker 5: about not taking advantage of the opportunities that are always
- 25:34Speaker 5: within reach. A truly courageous person is not afraid of
- 25:43Speaker 5: what might or might not happen next week or next year.
- 25:47Speaker 5: He fears not making the most of every moment. Today,
- 25:52Speaker 5: a truly courageous person fears the impulse to dominate other people.
- 25:57Speaker 5: She leads by helping others to be their best. In
- 26:10Speaker 5: ancient Greece, the philosopher Demasenes went searching for an honest man,
- 26:15Speaker 5: and he never found one. Honesty and integrity are rather rare.
- 26:24Speaker 5: Despite the fact that these are some of the clearest,
- 26:26Speaker 5: most easily recognized elements of strong character in the real world,
- 26:31Speaker 5: they are also some of the most difficult to find.
- 26:36Speaker 5: It seems it's always been that way. There was a
- 26:40Speaker 5: time when telling a lie was very serious business. It
- 26:44Speaker 5: was also very serious if you accuse someone of lying.
- 26:48Speaker 5: For hundreds of years in the past, calling someone a
- 26:51Speaker 5: liar was the most common way to provoke a duel,
- 26:55Speaker 5: at first with swords.
- 26:56Speaker 6: Later with pistols.
- 26:58Speaker 5: Dishonesty was treated like a personal insult that demanded immediate redress.
- 27:04Speaker 5: But there's no such risk today. Is there Some people
- 27:07Speaker 5: lie all the time without thinking about it. Most people
- 27:10Speaker 5: know when they're being lied to, which they may find irritating,
- 27:14Speaker 5: but they just accept it. Maybe they decide to become
- 27:17Speaker 5: liars themselves. It's a price they're willing to pay in
- 27:21Speaker 5: order to have exactly what they want right now. There
- 27:25Speaker 5: are many situations where it's painful to tell the truth.
- 27:31Speaker 5: It's more like a boomerang that's going to come around
- 27:34Speaker 5: and hit you in the back of the head someday.
- 27:39Speaker 5: Let me give you some good advice about avoiding a
- 27:42Speaker 5: bankrupt character. Pay your ethical debts, keep your integrity in
- 27:48Speaker 5: the black. Face ugly realities with the truth as soon
- 27:52Speaker 5: as they appear. When you feel that temptation to hedge,
- 27:57Speaker 5: resist it immediately.
- 27:58Speaker 6: Don't treat it cash.
- 28:01Speaker 5: Treat it like a grease fire in the kitchen that
- 28:03Speaker 5: you've got to put out before it burns your house
- 28:06Speaker 5: down or fills the whole place up with so much
- 28:09Speaker 5: smoke that you can't see where you're going anymore. Because
- 28:13Speaker 5: that's exactly what will happen when your ethical capital runs out,
- 28:18Speaker 5: You just won't be able to see where.
- 28:20Speaker 6: You're going anymore.
- 28:25Speaker 5: Any addictive behavior offers a simple short term escape from
- 28:29Speaker 5: a problem, But that escape becomes more and more complicated
- 28:33Speaker 5: as time goes on.
- 28:35Speaker 6: Shakespeare had it right all along.
- 28:37Speaker 5: What a tangled web we weave when at first we
- 28:40Speaker 5: practice to deceive, lying with an ulterior motive, lying for
- 28:47Speaker 5: personal gain. That kind of lying is definitely something to
- 28:51Speaker 5: be avoided. It's not the kind of behavior that defines
- 28:56Speaker 5: strong character. Real lying is like theft. It's creating an illusion.
- 29:05Speaker 5: Usually the people who are being deceived awaken from the
- 29:08Speaker 5: illusions that have been foisted upon them. But even if
- 29:12Speaker 5: this never happens, the criminal and I don't think that's
- 29:16Speaker 5: too strong a word has to buy into the illusion
- 29:20Speaker 5: so deeply himself that his own sense.
- 29:23Speaker 6: Of reality is eroded.
- 29:29Speaker 5: By trying to loosen other people's grasp of the truth,
- 29:32Speaker 5: you end up losing your own.
- 29:38Speaker 6: It all comes from fear.
- 29:41Speaker 5: Somebody is afraid the truth about themselves isn't good enough,
- 29:44Speaker 5: so they depart from the truth. It's really cowardice. Courage
- 29:51Speaker 5: is fearing the right thing at the right time and
- 29:54Speaker 5: in the right way. Fear the temptation to misrepresent who
- 29:59Speaker 5: you are or what you've done or intend to do.
- 30:04Speaker 5: Trust who you really are, Trust your ability to earn
- 30:08Speaker 5: the respect of others.
- 30:10Speaker 6: Pay whatever price the truth costs.
- 30:13Speaker 5: Pay that bill immediately, because in the long run, it's
- 30:17Speaker 5: a real bargain. Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential to survive.
- 30:24Speaker 5: This is an extremely important element of strong character. Goals
- 30:36Speaker 5: are major to a genuinely success oriented person. Without them,
- 30:41Speaker 5: you're just playing around. Despite everything that's been written about
- 30:45Speaker 5: the importance of goal setting, very few people actually put
- 30:49Speaker 5: it into practice. Challenge creates strong character, and goals represent
- 30:57Speaker 5: challenge in its most positive form. What do I want
- 31:03Speaker 5: to do? What do I want to be? What do
- 31:09Speaker 5: I want to see? What do I want to have?
- 31:17Speaker 5: Where do I want to go? Above all, persevere goal
- 31:27Speaker 5: setting is a very important first step, but goal achievement
- 31:30Speaker 5: is a continuous, lifelong process.
- 31:35Speaker 6: That's what makes it so challenging.
- 31:38Speaker 5: Perseverance is about as important a goal achievement as gasoline
- 31:42Speaker 5: is to driving a car. Sure, there will be times
- 31:46Speaker 5: when you feel like you're spinning your wheels, but you'll
- 31:50Speaker 5: always get out of the ret with genuine perseverance. Without it,
- 31:54Speaker 5: you won't even be able to start your engine. It's ironic,
- 32:03Speaker 5: isn't it. Wisdom is not a thing you can buy, or,
- 32:07Speaker 5: of course, you can take in school or a degree
- 32:10Speaker 5: you can earn. Wisdom is not really something you can
- 32:19Speaker 5: get from another person, Yet you can gain some wisdom
- 32:22Speaker 5: from everyone you meet. Wisdom is something a wise man
- 32:28Speaker 5: always feels he needs more of. Yet the true sources
- 32:32Speaker 5: of wisdom lie nowhere but within ourselves.
- 32:59Speaker 6: You're never just a victim of circumstances.
- 33:04Speaker 5: It takes courage to recognize that, because it means accepting
- 33:08Speaker 5: responsibility for your own future. If you're a courageous person,
- 33:13Speaker 5: your fears aren't about what someone might do to you
- 33:16Speaker 5: or something that might happen to you. Your fears are
- 33:20Speaker 5: about not living up to your ideals, about reacting instead
- 33:24Speaker 5: of acting, about not taking advantage of the opportunities that
- 33:28Speaker 5: are always within reach. Class is calling on reserve energy.
- 33:59Speaker 5: Class is the ability to overcome any number of challenges
- 34:03Speaker 5: during a race. Class doesn't mean you never get tired,
- 34:14Speaker 5: but it does mean you never show it. Class doesn't
- 34:24Speaker 5: mean you're not tempted to quit sometimes, but it does
- 34:27Speaker 5: mean you never actually do and in the final yards
- 34:33Speaker 5: of a race. Class makes the difference. This is an
- 34:40Speaker 5: extremely important element of strong character. I also suspect that
- 34:49Speaker 5: in recent years we've overlooked the importance of perseverance to
- 34:52Speaker 5: some extent, because we believe so strongly in talent as
- 34:56Speaker 5: the true determinant of success. Perseverance means you never quit.
- 35:09Speaker 5: Procrastination usually means you never get started, although I consider
- 35:17Speaker 5: the inability to finish something to be a form of procrastination.
- 35:28Speaker 5: I'm a perfectionist. Everything has to be just right before
- 35:32Speaker 5: I can get down to work. No distractions, not too
- 35:36Speaker 5: much noise, no telephone calls interrupting me. And of course
- 35:40Speaker 5: I have to be feeling well physically too. I can't
- 35:43Speaker 5: work when I have a headache. The other end of procrastination,
- 35:48Speaker 5: being unable to finish, also has a perfectionist explanation. I'm
- 35:53Speaker 5: just never satisfied. I'm my own harshest critic. If all
- 35:58Speaker 5: the eyes aren't dotted and all the teas aren't crossed,
- 36:01Speaker 5: I just can't consider that I'm done. That's just the
- 36:05Speaker 5: way I am, and I'll probably never change. Do you
- 36:09Speaker 5: see what's going on here? A fault is being turned
- 36:13Speaker 5: into a virtue. The perfectionist is saying that his standards
- 36:16Speaker 5: are just too high for this world. This fault into
- 36:21Speaker 5: virtue syndrome is a common defense when people are called
- 36:24Speaker 5: upon to discuss their weaknesses.
- 36:27Speaker 6: But in the end, it's just a very pious kind
- 36:30Speaker 6: of excuse making.
- 36:35Speaker 5: The basis of procrastination could be fear of failure.
- 36:40Speaker 6: That's what extreme.
- 36:41Speaker 5: Perfectionism really is, once you take a hard look at it.
- 36:45Speaker 5: What's the difference whether you're afraid of being less than
- 36:48Speaker 5: perfect or afraid of anything else. You're still paralyzed by fear.
- 36:58Speaker 5: What's the difference whether you never start or never finish.
- 37:02Speaker 5: You're still stuck. You're still going nowhere. You're still overwhelmed
- 37:09Speaker 5: by whatever task is before you. You're still allowing yourself
- 37:15Speaker 5: to be dominated by a negative vision of the future
- 37:18Speaker 5: in which you see yourself being criticized or laughed at,
- 37:22Speaker 5: or punished or ridden out of town on a rail.
- 37:28Speaker 5: Of course, this negative vision of the future is really
- 37:30Speaker 5: a mechanism that allows you to do nothing. It's a
- 37:34Speaker 5: very convenient mental tool. I'm going to show you how
- 37:40Speaker 5: to turn procrastination into perseverance. I'm going to be very
- 37:46Speaker 5: specific about how you can do this. A moment ago,
- 37:51Speaker 5: I referred to a negative vision of the future as
- 37:55Speaker 5: a mental tool for inactivity. If you've been using that too, well,
- 38:02Speaker 5: I'm going to ask you to toss it aside and
- 38:05Speaker 5: start using two other very powerful principles that foster productivity
- 38:10Speaker 5: and perseverance instead of passivity and procrastination. The first principle
- 38:17Speaker 5: is break it down. No matter what you're trying to accomplish,
- 38:24Speaker 5: whether it's writing a book or climbing a mountain or
- 38:27Speaker 5: painting a house, the key to achievement is your ability
- 38:31Speaker 5: to break down the task into manageable pieces and knock
- 38:35Speaker 5: them off one at a time. Focus on accomplishing what's
- 38:41Speaker 5: right in front of you at this moment, and ignore
- 38:44Speaker 5: what's off in the distance someplace. Substitute real time positive
- 38:52Speaker 5: thinking for negative future visualization. That's the first all important
- 39:00Speaker 5: technique for bringing an end to procrastination. Suppose I were
- 39:08Speaker 5: to ask you if you could write a four hundred
- 39:10Speaker 5: page novel. If you're like most people, that would be
- 39:14Speaker 5: an impossible task. Yes, somebody must have written the book
- 39:18Speaker 5: that you see in your mind's eye, but that person
- 39:20Speaker 5: surely wasn't you.
- 39:23Speaker 6: But suppose I asked you a different question. Suppose I ask.
- 39:27Speaker 5: If you can write a page and a quarter a
- 39:31Speaker 5: day for one year.
- 39:35Speaker 6: Do you think you could do it?
- 39:40Speaker 5: Now, the task is starting to seem more manageable. We're
- 39:43Speaker 5: breaking down the four hundred page book into bite sized pieces.
- 39:47Speaker 5: But even so, I suspect many people would still find
- 39:50Speaker 5: the prospect intimidating. Do you see why writing a page
- 39:56Speaker 5: and a quarter may not seem so bad, But you're
- 39:59Speaker 5: being asked to look ahead one whole year. When people
- 40:02Speaker 5: start to look that far ahead, many of them automatically
- 40:06Speaker 5: go into a negative mood. So let me formulate the
- 40:10Speaker 5: idea of writing a book, and yet another way, let
- 40:13Speaker 5: me break it down even more.
- 40:19Speaker 6: Suppose I were.
- 40:19Speaker 5: To ask you, can you fill up a page and
- 40:22Speaker 5: a quarter with words, Not for a year, not for
- 40:25Speaker 5: a month, not even for a week, but just today.
- 40:32Speaker 5: Don't look any further ahead than that. Do you think
- 40:35Speaker 5: you can do it one day at a time. You've
- 40:40Speaker 5: probably heard that phrase. That's what we're doing here. We're
- 40:44Speaker 5: breaking the time required for a major task down into
- 40:48Speaker 5: one day segments. Keep this up for one year, and
- 40:54Speaker 5: you'll write the book. Discipline yourself to look neither forward
- 41:04Speaker 5: nor backward, and you can accomplish things you never thought
- 41:08Speaker 5: you could possibly do. Then all you have to do
- 41:13Speaker 5: is persevere. Procrastination won't be a problem because the task
- 41:18Speaker 5: is now so small that fear won't kick in, and
- 41:23Speaker 5: it all begins with those three words, break it down.
- 41:31Speaker 5: My second technique for defeating procrastination is also only three
- 41:35Speaker 5: words long. The three words are write it down. Instead
- 41:46Speaker 5: of describing the things that you want to do or
- 41:48Speaker 5: the places you want to go, you're going to describe
- 41:52Speaker 5: what you actually do with your time, and you're going
- 41:56Speaker 5: to keep a written record of the places you actually go.
- 42:01Speaker 5: In other words, you're going to keep a diary of
- 42:04Speaker 5: your activities. And you're going to be amazed by the distractions, detours,
- 42:09Speaker 5: and downright waste of time that you come up with
- 42:12Speaker 5: during the course of a day. All of these get
- 42:15Speaker 5: in the way of achieving your goals. For many people,
- 42:19Speaker 5: it's almost like they planned it that way, and maybe
- 42:22Speaker 5: at some unconscious level they did. It forces you to
- 42:28Speaker 5: see what you're actually doing and what you're not doing,
- 42:35Speaker 5: and you should keep this up for at least a week.
- 42:40Speaker 5: You don't have to.
- 42:41Speaker 6: Do anything else at all.
- 42:43Speaker 5: It's just a process for making yourself aware of how
- 42:46Speaker 5: you actually spend your time. You will naturally and effortlessly
- 42:53Speaker 5: begin to reorganize your life. That seems like too much
- 43:01Speaker 5: to believe, but it's true. When you're forced to write
- 43:05Speaker 5: down the fact that you hung out at the coffee
- 43:07Speaker 5: machine for fifteen minutes today. You'll think twice about doing
- 43:12Speaker 5: that again tomorrow, when you've got to put it in
- 43:15Speaker 5: writing that you worked on an important project for thirty
- 43:18Speaker 5: minutes today and then took a break to read the newspaper.
- 43:22Speaker 5: You'll persevere a little longer on the project tomorrow and
- 43:26Speaker 5: forget about the newspaper. Break it down, write it down.
- 43:35Speaker 5: This is how you put an end to procrastination. This
- 43:38Speaker 5: is how you get yourself started. But how do you
- 43:43Speaker 5: keep going? How do you keep your motivation consistently high?
- 43:50Speaker 5: How do you learn to persevere when the novelty is
- 43:52Speaker 5: worn't off and you're still some distance from your goal.
- 43:58Speaker 5: The Irish poet William Yates once wrote a poem describing
- 44:02Speaker 5: some of the unfortunate characteristics of the modern world. One
- 44:07Speaker 5: of the things Yates noticed was the fact that bad
- 44:09Speaker 5: people seem to have the most energy, while good people
- 44:13Speaker 5: become discouraged and doubtful of their own abilities. The best
- 44:19Speaker 5: lack all conviction, while the worst are filled with a
- 44:22Speaker 5: passionate intensity. Those are the words Yates used. And it's
- 44:30Speaker 5: true that we can look around the world and see
- 44:32Speaker 5: all sorts of things happening that we might wish were
- 44:36Speaker 5: not happening, and there are people working very hard to
- 44:39Speaker 5: make those things happen for reasons that we might not admire.
- 44:43Speaker 5: And when we see that, it's easy to start saying,
- 44:46Speaker 5: what's the use?
- 44:47Speaker 6: What hope do I really have? Why don't I just give.
- 44:51Speaker 5: Up on all the things I've been trying to accomplish
- 44:54Speaker 5: and just start taking it easy. Even people have strong
- 45:00Speaker 5: character feel that way. Sometimes all of us have moments
- 45:04Speaker 5: like that. That's when perseverance gets really, really tough. What's
- 45:11Speaker 5: the answer? What do you want to do? What do
- 45:15Speaker 5: you want to be? What do you want to see?
- 45:18Speaker 5: What do you want to have? Where do you want
- 45:21Speaker 5: to go.
- 45:23Speaker 4: With?
- 45:23Speaker 5: Whom do you want to share? In other words, who
- 45:28Speaker 5: are you working for besides yourself? Who is depending on you?
- 45:36Speaker 5: Who will benefit if you persevere and succeed? Who will
- 45:42Speaker 5: suffer if you give up and stop trying.
- 45:45Speaker 2: I'm scared the world is full of bad things. That's
- 45:49Speaker 2: why I have to become stronger.
- 45:51Speaker 5: Who can you reach out to and help once you've
- 45:54Speaker 5: achieved your goals?
- 45:56Speaker 6: The world's not a dark place. That's a lie.
- 46:00Speaker 5: If you have a family. Your spouse and your children
- 46:03Speaker 5: are depending on you. Perhaps even your parents are depending
- 46:08Speaker 5: on you now if they're elderly and require some care.
- 46:13Speaker 5: But even if you're a single person or just starting
- 46:15Speaker 5: out in your career, you can think of reasons to
- 46:18Speaker 5: persevere and succeed that go beyond your personal needs. This
- 46:22Speaker 5: sharing doesn't have to be limited to money either. If
- 46:26Speaker 5: your work has given you certain skills, you can share
- 46:28Speaker 5: your time and your abilities. You can, and you should.
- 46:36Speaker 5: But even this isn't putting it strongly enough. It isn't
- 46:40Speaker 5: just that you'll do better if you feel you're working
- 46:43Speaker 5: for others in addition to yourself. You absolutely must find
- 46:48Speaker 5: reasons outside yourself to persevere if you want to keep
- 46:53Speaker 5: going when the going gets tough. Hemingway wrote, a man
- 47:02Speaker 5: alone hasn't got a chance. And that doesn't mean only
- 47:06Speaker 5: that you need people to help you in life. It
- 47:09Speaker 5: means also that you need people you can help. You
- 47:12Speaker 5: need people who can become the real reasons for perseverance,
- 47:16Speaker 5: above and beyond your material possessions or your financial success.
- 47:22Speaker 5: What's in it for me can only.
- 47:24Speaker 6: Take you so far.
- 47:27Speaker 5: What's in it for somebody besides me can take you
- 47:30Speaker 5: as far as you need to go. In the last
- 47:39Speaker 5: days of World War two, the American cruiser Indianapolis was
- 47:43Speaker 5: sunk by an enemy submarine. This was one of the
- 47:46Speaker 5: most tragic incidents of the war for American forces, in
- 47:51Speaker 5: which hundreds of men lost their lives. Many who made
- 47:55Speaker 5: it through the initial attack had to spend days and
- 47:58Speaker 5: nights in the water.
- 47:59Speaker 6: Before for rescuers arrived.
- 48:03Speaker 5: The experience of trying to stay alive in the water
- 48:06Speaker 5: was so overwhelming that many people simply gave up. In fact,
- 48:11Speaker 5: the survivors reported later that virtually everyone wanted to give
- 48:15Speaker 5: up at one time or another. But whenever someone wanted
- 48:19Speaker 5: to quit trying, the others would talk to him about
- 48:22Speaker 5: the people back home who needed him, who were depending
- 48:26Speaker 5: on him to survive. And if there was no one
- 48:29Speaker 5: who was depending on him right then they would talk
- 48:32Speaker 5: about people in the future who would someday be needing him,
- 48:36Speaker 5: people he hadn't met yet, people who hadn't even been
- 48:41Speaker 5: born yet. This motivation beyond the self was the only
- 48:47Speaker 5: motivation that was strong enough. Some of us are hungry
- 48:59Speaker 5: for wealth, power, some of us are hungry for truth.
- 49:04Speaker 5: Some people want everyone to love them, others want everyone
- 49:08Speaker 5: to fear them. But there's a fundamental challenge with all
- 49:12Speaker 5: these appetites. None of them can ever be permanently satisfied.
- 49:19Speaker 5: When it comes to wanting things, there's never any such
- 49:22Speaker 5: thing as enough. You get a new car, but in
- 50:03Speaker 5: a couple of years it's an old car. You get
- 50:06Speaker 5: a new computer and does everything real fast, certainly faster
- 50:10Speaker 5: than the one your neighbor's got. But then a year
- 50:12Speaker 5: goes by and now your neighbor gets a computer that's
- 50:15Speaker 5: even faster than yours. Where does it all end. There's
- 50:20Speaker 5: really only one kind of person who's actually comfortable with
- 50:25Speaker 5: the impossibility of satisfying is appetize. This is the person
- 50:30Speaker 5: who wants that mysterious commodity called wisdom, whatever.
- 50:36Speaker 6: That is, and wants it more than all the cars
- 50:39Speaker 6: and computers in the world.
- 50:42Speaker 5: Wisdom, like the learning capacity of the human brain, is infinite.
- 50:48Speaker 5: There will always be more to know, and there will
- 50:51Speaker 5: always be plenty of room in your brain for everything
- 50:54Speaker 5: you've learned. Life is a paradise. Really. If you're a
- 50:59Speaker 5: person who genuinely wants wisdom, I hope you'll understand that
- 51:12Speaker 5: it's in your best interests to take responsibility for everything
- 51:17Speaker 5: you do. But that's only the beginning. I'm also going
- 51:24Speaker 5: to suggest it many times, it's even best to accept
- 51:27Speaker 5: responsibility for the mistakes of others. I can hear you saying,
- 51:34Speaker 5: what accept responsibility for someone else's mess ups? Why would
- 51:41Speaker 5: I want to do something like that. Just look at
- 51:45Speaker 5: a baby during the first few years of life. Every gesture,
- 51:49Speaker 5: every facial expression, every tentative word has one message for
- 51:53Speaker 5: the baby's parents. The message is, I am totally dependent
- 51:57Speaker 5: on you. I can't do anything for myself, even if
- 52:04Speaker 5: I try, I can't be held responsible for the consequences.
- 52:10Speaker 5: After all, I'm just a baby. Ten or twelve years later,
- 52:18Speaker 5: of course, as the boy or girl enters adolescence, this
- 52:22Speaker 5: message to the parents will be very different. It will
- 52:28Speaker 5: sound something like this, why don't you just leave me alone?
- 52:32Speaker 5: I want to be totally independent. I don't want to
- 52:36Speaker 5: do anything but think about myself. I certainly don't want
- 52:39Speaker 5: to accept any responsibility for anything beyond my own very
- 52:43Speaker 5: well defined.
- 52:44Speaker 6: Needs and desires.
- 52:48Speaker 5: It's only when we're at last grown up that the
- 52:51Speaker 5: first two messages I'm totally dependent on you and I'm
- 52:56Speaker 5: totally independent of you finally turn into you can depend
- 53:02Speaker 5: on me which is the truly adult outlook. Strange as
- 53:11Speaker 5: it may seem, of course, there are people in their
- 53:17Speaker 5: thirties and forties who are still acting like adolescents. And
- 53:21Speaker 5: there are even people in their forties and fifties who
- 53:24Speaker 5: are still acting like babies as far as their attitude.
- 53:28Speaker 6: Toward responsibility is concerned.
- 53:33Speaker 5: These kinds of people can be hard to have around,
- 53:36Speaker 5: especially if you have to work with them. Let me
- 53:43Speaker 5: be more specific about exactly what is involved in becoming
- 53:46Speaker 5: a responsible person. It means, first of all, that you
- 53:50Speaker 5: accept the consequences of your actions.
- 53:56Speaker 6: But I'll go even further than that. Responsibility.
- 54:00Speaker 5: It means you look to yourself as the source of
- 54:02Speaker 5: everything that happens to you. It means that you assume command,
- 54:10Speaker 5: regardless of the hardships you may have undergone early in life,
- 54:16Speaker 5: or the prejudice you may have encountered, or the dozens
- 54:19Speaker 5: of people who may have failed to understand you. Do
- 54:25Speaker 5: I sound hard hearted? Do I seem to be denying
- 54:29Speaker 5: the existence of difficult childhoods, or of prejudice, or of
- 54:34Speaker 5: people who are insensitive to the needs of others. Well,
- 54:40Speaker 5: that is certainly not my intention, nor is it my belief.
- 54:44Speaker 5: I'm saying that, regardless of the presence of those negative
- 54:48Speaker 5: influences in your life, the best thing you can do,
- 54:52Speaker 5: the most empowering thing, the strongest thing, and ultimately the
- 54:56Speaker 5: wisest thing, is to accept responsibility for your own destiny,
- 55:02Speaker 5: plain and simple. The benefits of this approach to life
- 55:06Speaker 5: have been proven in some pretty dramatic ways. People who
- 55:13Speaker 5: have been afflicted by serious illness, for example, appear to
- 55:17Speaker 5: have a better chance of recovery if they decide to
- 55:20Speaker 5: take responsibility for what has happened to them, despite the
- 55:25Speaker 5: fact that it would be easier and perhaps even more reasonable,
- 55:30Speaker 5: to simply see themselves as victims of faith. I've gotten
- 55:35Speaker 5: myself locked into a certain kind of thinking, and now
- 55:39Speaker 5: I've got to get myself out of it.
- 55:42Speaker 6: It's as simple as that.
- 55:47Speaker 5: Anybody can have an excuse for absolutely anything, and people
- 55:50Speaker 5: have never been better at it than they are today.
- 55:55Speaker 5: But the downside of excuses, even good ones, is that
- 55:59Speaker 5: nobody really leaves it. I don't care what people tell you.
- 56:04Speaker 5: If you make excuses, they're going to know it and
- 56:07Speaker 5: they're going to think less of you. But if you
- 56:10Speaker 5: refuse to rely on excuses, people are going to know
- 56:13Speaker 5: that too, And they'll admire you for it. So many
- 56:18Speaker 5: people use excuses, but nobody really buys them. It's our
- 56:23Speaker 5: modern version of the fable about the boy who cried wolf,
- 56:31Speaker 5: an offshoot of the I didn't mean to do it
- 56:34Speaker 5: excuse for evading responsibility is the eye wasn't myself at
- 56:38Speaker 5: the time excuse. It's like being at the helm of
- 56:44Speaker 5: a ship. You are responsible for everything that takes place
- 56:49Speaker 5: on your watch. You must wake up from the dream
- 56:57Speaker 5: that somebody else will handle the pressure, sure that somebody
- 57:01Speaker 5: else will shoot those two free throws. I slept and
- 57:09Speaker 5: dreamed that life was beauty. I woke and saw that
- 57:13Speaker 5: life was duty. A strong character is not a rigid character.
- 57:21Speaker 5: In fact, exactly the opposite is true. Although it's important
- 57:25Speaker 5: to be firm when you know something is right, and
- 57:28Speaker 5: to maintain that right position even when the crowd is
- 57:31Speaker 5: going against you and wants to put you down. Sometimes,
- 57:35Speaker 5: when the tide has run against you for a long time,
- 57:38Speaker 5: it may be that what you held as a certainty
- 57:41Speaker 5: was in fact not true in the light of overwhelming circumstances.
- 57:47Speaker 5: It's not only right, it's also smart to be able
- 57:50Speaker 5: to see more than one way to accomplish a task.
- 57:53Speaker 5: It's wise to see more than one solution to any problem.
- 57:57Speaker 5: It's a good skill to see things as someone else
- 57:59Speaker 5: might see them, Because when the plan that served you
- 58:03Speaker 5: so well for so long doesn't work anymore, then it's
- 58:06Speaker 5: time to find another way. It's time to bend. It's
- 58:11Speaker 5: time to move on, to change, to compromise, to talk,
- 58:16Speaker 5: or you'll risk snapping like a dead branch in a
- 58:19Speaker 5: stiff breeze. I don't really think it's less important or
- 58:30Speaker 5: more important today to be open to change and flexible
- 58:34Speaker 5: in adapting to it than it has been in the past.
- 58:37Speaker 5: It's always been important to be flexible and far sighted,
- 58:42Speaker 5: anticipating whenever we can and when we can't, anticipate, being
- 58:46Speaker 5: prepared for all possibilities. Sometimes it is best to advance
- 58:56Speaker 5: by retreating. Sometimes wars can be won by losing a
- 59:01Speaker 5: few battles, and long term goals can be achieved by
- 59:08Speaker 5: accepting short term reversals. Sometimes it is best to resist,
- 59:15Speaker 5: like the tall grasses bending in the wind, or like
- 59:21Speaker 5: a river finding a new route around an obstacle. A
- 59:25Speaker 5: powerful ocean wave smashing onto a beach may wash away
- 59:29Speaker 5: a sand dune, but the individual grain of sand simply
- 59:34Speaker 5: goes with the flow and is unharmed. Flexibility is simple
- 1:00:01Speaker 5: in theory, but tremendously challenging in practice. It means we
- 1:00:06Speaker 5: have to learn to distinguish between what we can control
- 1:00:09Speaker 5: and what is beyond our control. Practicing flexibility requires great
- 1:00:14Speaker 5: self knowledge and iron self control. To be flexible does
- 1:00:19Speaker 5: not mean to be weak, to flounder about aimlessly and
- 1:00:23Speaker 5: confuse because we think there's nothing to be done. No,
- 1:00:27Speaker 5: it requires self discipline.