Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The Main Reasons Why Narcissists Don't Want YOU To Go To Therapy!
Transcript
- 0:00Why don't narcissist want you to go to therapy?
- 0:06I know a lot of times you see people making videos about why
- 0:08narcissist don't go to therapy, but today we flipping it on his
- 0:13head. We're flipping it upside down
- 0:16and answering the question, why don't they want you as a
- 0:19survivor or thriver to go to therapy?
- 0:22Of course, if you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
- 0:24I'm a diagnosed narcissist, and welcome to another episode of
- 0:28The Narcissist Code, y'all. Let's get into it.
- 0:32Straight into it, y'all. The Narcissist Code is also
- 0:35going to become the Mental Illness Podcast, or I've just
- 0:37started recording for the actual podcast, so that's coming soon,
- 0:41y'all. But let's hop right into it.
- 0:43Narcissistic people hate therapy unless they can benefit from it,
- 0:49right? But most times they don't
- 0:50benefit from it unless the therapist is on their side.
- 0:53In this scenario, do we talk about today, right.
- 0:56This scenario we talk about today, they don't benefit from
- 0:59it. So they don't want you to go.
- 1:02And one of the main reasons that they don't want you to go to
- 1:04therapy is because they want to keep lying.
- 1:10They want to keep you in their world of delusion.
- 1:15They want to keep you right where you are.
- 1:19Right narcissistic people do not like it when other people are
- 1:25telling you what is going on. They want to keep you in their
- 1:28delusional world because they benefit directly from your
- 1:33delusions. They do.
- 1:35They absolutely do. They benefit from your delusion.
- 1:39They benefit from you not understanding what exactly is
- 1:42going on. They absolutely benefit from it
- 1:46like they benefit from you living in their reality.
- 1:49They do. I feel like so many people have
- 1:53to understand it right there. Narcissistic people directly
- 1:57benefit from you not going to therapy and from you continuing
- 2:01to live in the world of their delusions continue for you to
- 2:05continue to live in their crazy, just twisted ass world.
- 2:10They benefit directly from it. Why would yeah, think about this
- 2:13right here. Why would they want you to go
- 2:15get help for somebody a qualified therapist to just say
- 2:20hey look, you're in a toxic relationship.
- 2:23They've been lying to you that them them cheating on you is not
- 2:26your fault. You haven't done anything wrong
- 2:28to this person to make them beat your ass or for them to threaten
- 2:32to take your life or whatever the case may be.
- 2:34They're lying to you. They don't want somebody that's
- 2:37more qualified than they are or smarter than they are to give
- 2:41you better advice. And that y'all, the fact that
- 2:45they don't want do to get a, a, an alternative perspective lets
- 2:50you know. It should let you know that they
- 2:53know what they're doing. It should let you know that they
- 2:58know what they're doing is not good.
- 3:01They know that it's abusive. They know that it's
- 3:03manipulative. They absolutely do.
- 3:07So I feel like that's one thing you have to start to understand
- 3:09is they really, really, truly do know what they're doing.
- 3:13That's why they want to hide it. That's why they don't want you
- 3:14to go to therapy. They want you to sit in their
- 3:17delusional world and just be twisted all up.
- 3:20What is going on, Charisse? Hope you're having a good day.
- 3:22That's what they want. They want you to be twisted all
- 3:24up and zooted and all of that other good stuff, y'all?
- 3:27Absolutely. The next reason that they don't
- 3:31want you to go to therapy is because they don't want to be
- 3:35exposed and feel that shame. They really don't.
- 3:42They don't want to go to therapy or marriage counseling for the
- 3:46therapist or the counselor or the coach or whoever it is to
- 3:51just expose them for their toxicity.
- 3:55They don't want to feel the shame of exposure.
- 3:57They want to keep that mask on. They want to be able to do
- 4:01whatever they want to do. They want to keep the toxicity
- 4:04going. They want to keep the illusions
- 4:06up. They don't want anybody else to
- 4:09know what they've been doing. So if you go to therapy and a
- 4:13therapist exposes them, they don't benefit from it.
- 4:17They, it, they don't help them. It absolutely does not help them
- 4:21and what not. And I saw somebody said Sarah
- 4:24says my therapist actually love my narcissistic ex.
- 4:27It was more of a me thing I suppose.
- 4:29Other than that she was great. She just didn't understand
- 4:31narcissism which is absolutely important.
- 4:34See this type of therapy that Sarah just described would
- 4:37benefit a narcissist most times. Right?
- 4:39Because if you don't and this is not me trying to down therapy,
- 4:42I'm a therapy advocate. Go take your ass to therapy.
- 4:45If that person is not is not well versed in manipulative
- 4:51behaviors or narcissistic people, it could set you up for
- 4:55failure. Let's just keep it hot and ready
- 4:57like a Little Caesar's pizza, right?
- 4:59It could absolutely set you up for failure if your person just
- 5:04does not understand toxic manipulative behavior.
- 5:07It just doesn't help you out right there.
- 5:08And OGNC says do fat, do, do therapy alone, separate.
- 5:13Yeah, I, I truly believe that right there.
- 5:15I truly believe that you should, if you, if you going to go to
- 5:17therapy in a toxic relationship when you're dealing with a
- 5:19narcissistic person, it's better that you go by yourself most
- 5:22times, right? The only benefit that I could
- 5:26see in the going to couples counseling with a narcissist is
- 5:30for them to for them to just show you exactly who they are in
- 5:34front of somebody else. It's for them to just validate
- 5:37you by being manipulative, by being dismissive, by cussing out
- 5:41the therapist that just validates you more and that.
- 5:44But that's a rarity. That happens right there, y'all?
- 5:45That's a rarity. Do not go to the marriage.
- 5:48I'm the Yeah, hold on. I got to do this right here.
- 5:52Do not go to marriage counseling with a narcissist based on what
- 5:55I just said. Well, Lee told me to go to
- 5:57therapy because go to counseling because they would help me.
- 5:59No, that's not what I said. I didn't say that, I said that
- 6:05some narcissist you can benefit from marriage conscious
- 6:08sometimes because they expose themselves by being abusive and
- 6:12manipulative to the therapist. That's what I said.
- 6:18I didn't say the other stuff. No.
- 6:24Another reason why they don't want to want you to go to
- 6:27therapy. But this is probably the main
- 6:29reason why narcissists don't want to go to therapy right
- 6:31here. Y'all is because they don't want
- 6:34you to leave. They do not want you to leave.
- 6:41We'll leave. How?
- 6:42If I go to therapy, why did they?
- 6:44Why would they think that I would leave them just by going
- 6:47to therapy? Because they know that they're
- 6:50doing wrong. They know what they've put you
- 6:53through. They know that they've hurt you
- 6:56or harmed you or just bring some type of toxicity into your life.
- 6:59They know that they've been horrible.
- 7:02They don't want the therapist to just say you should leave.
- 7:05You need to leave them. They already have it in their
- 7:08head that they know that if you told somebody else what they are
- 7:11doing to you or what they have done to you that you will
- 7:14probably leave. So that's why they don't want
- 7:16you to go to therapy because they assume, assume ASS oom that
- 7:23you're going to leave based on what they've done.
- 7:27Oh, Bailey, I don't think you need to go talk to that
- 7:30therapist because then you going to come home and you going to
- 7:33leave me. You don't want to leave.
- 7:34You go to therapy and then you come home and you don't want to
- 7:37leave me. Why would babe look, I'm I don't
- 7:41want to leave you, but like, why would you worry about that?
- 7:45Why would you worry about the therapist telling me to to leave
- 7:48you? If you haven't done anything
- 7:50wrong, if you ain't done nothing wrong, you got nothing to worry
- 7:52about, right, Right. You see what I'm saying?
- 7:57That's, that's how it should look, right?
- 8:06That's how it should go right there.
- 8:08They know that they're doing you wrong.
- 8:10They know that they're putting you through BS.
- 8:13They know that they are hurting you or harming you.
- 8:16You know, that's what they do. They, they do absolutely know.
- 8:22And so they, they know. So they assume that the
- 8:25therapist or your friends or whoever it is will tell you to
- 8:30leave them. Absolutely.
- 8:32The guilt is thick with eight KS.
- 8:37Lisa 8 KS thick. It's so thick you got to it's
- 8:43hard to even say it thick. But that's what goes right
- 8:49there. Y'all.
- 8:49That literally is it is you, Jerry.
- 8:53It is absolutely shameful toxic behavior.
- 8:56This is what goes on right here. This is what ends up happening.
- 8:59And Angela says some therapists can be narcissists and defend
- 9:02their narcissistic patients. Absolutely true.
- 9:05In this situation right here, that would benefit the
- 9:07narcissist though. That would benefit the
- 9:09narcissist to go in there and put on an act.
- 9:11The cross stay little toxic ass narcissistic legs and just
- 9:15pretend to be pretend to be the non to to pretend to be the
- 9:19victim and understanding they'll be looking at the third like
- 9:22this. I'm like you're right.
- 9:25Yeah, I understand that Yeah, the the emotions need to we need
- 9:31to we need to be here. We're here, but we need to be
- 9:33here. I get you.
- 9:35You over there pissed off you like what the hell?
- 9:37You understand them and then you look crazy.
- 9:41You see what I'm saying? So that absolutely does happen
- 9:43right here. Advice.
- 9:45My wife, who has now reverse discarded me by telling me God
- 9:47wants her separate from me for six months to have us grow.
- 9:51Meanwhile, she has manipulated me the whole time I ghosted her
- 9:54and now she's waiting for the six months to be over to seem
- 9:56like the victims. Oh, hell no.
- 9:58See, in this situation right here, you got to, you got to cut
- 10:00that. You got to cut that loose right
- 10:01there. Because six months like such a
- 10:04specific time God told me I needed, we needed six months
- 10:07apart. I need I, I, I need y'all
- 10:13sidebar, sidebar. I hate, I hate when people just
- 10:21say God told them to do some shit.
- 10:24I'm sorry that just I don't it's that type of stuff be pissing me
- 10:27off. Like prove to me that God said
- 10:31you can't. I can't prove it to you.
- 10:33God said it though. Then you just making shit up.
- 10:36God ain't told you to do this. God, you just want it.
- 10:40Just be real. Don't put that shit on God.
- 10:42Just say you want this. You just won't.
- 10:44You want to be together. You don't want to be together.
- 10:46They say you want to go out here and do something else.
- 10:47You want you want to be single. Don't you just say put God into
- 10:50this. God.
- 10:50Look, God looking down God like I ain't say that shit.
- 10:58Archangel Gabrielle, bring me my bring me my cell phone.
- 11:02This woman down here tell me I take.
- 11:04I told her to this woman down here telling her husband that I
- 11:08told her she needs six months separation.
- 11:10Bring me my phone. God going through the God going
- 11:14through his messages. I ain't text that What the hell
- 11:16I ain't that. I ain't even text nothing but no
- 11:18her leave she be lying. She lying on my name.
- 11:20That's what God said. That's what God looking like
- 11:24God. God looking down like that God.
- 11:37God ain't say that, the guy said.
- 11:42God said love does not boast. Oh my goodness, I'm telling
- 11:46y'all. My husband has been cheating on
- 11:48me for years and I called him out.
- 11:50He spit on me, pushed me, told me to unlock myself and won't
- 11:53talk to me now because he needs space.
- 11:55Ash, you need some space from that relationship or you're
- 11:58going to end up losing your life.
- 11:59Because if you confront him about cheating and he spit on
- 12:02you, hell no, I'm going to tell you.
- 12:03I'm going to tell you my prediction what happens here.
- 12:06You give him another, you give him another chance.
- 12:08You go back to him because you're trauma bonded or whatever
- 12:10the case may be. He is just bidding his time and
- 12:13then eventually he leaves you for somebody else and then you
- 12:17you're left picking up the pieces.
- 12:19You're left picking up the pieces and having so much.
- 12:23You're so right about God is looking down God, God like God,
- 12:26stop lying on me. God told me God, I I ain't say
- 12:31that I've been giving him chances for 18 years.
- 12:34So now you give him enough chances, you how many more
- 12:37chances you got in you 18 years that look, you don't raise your
- 12:40your the, the years right there. You're 18 years.
- 12:44The chances, the chances you've given him can vote right now in
- 12:47America, the chances that you've given him can vote in the in the
- 12:522026 primary, right? That's too old.
- 12:55That's too many chances. That's too much time right
- 12:57there, you know, you see what I'm saying?
- 12:59That love don't do that. That's not love no more.
- 13:01That's trauma. That's that's not love.
- 13:03That's trauma. You see what it feels, It looks,
- 13:05look, it looks like love. It smells like love, but that's
- 13:11trauma. That's love adjacent.
- 13:13That's like, it's not, that's not sugar, that's sucrose,
- 13:15that's split, that's splendor. That's splendor.
- 13:18It looks like sugar, tastes like sugar, but it's not sugar.
- 13:21It's splendor. That's splendor love.
- 13:22That's not real love. You know what I'm saying?
- 13:24But now you have to make a plan. You have to make a plan right
- 13:26here in this situation. Yeah.
- 13:27But yeah, I do got to hop off this thing.
- 13:28I have to do like this little haunted house or whatever with
- 13:31my kids. I do my, my coaching, my
- 13:33courses. Everything is at
- 13:36mentalillness.net. My, my coaching, my courses.
- 13:40If you like I said, mental illness.net for my one on ones
- 13:43and whatnot, But I also not just also enter the code mothers and
- 13:48fathers, mothers or fathers for 50% off my courses.
- 13:53So mental illness.net for all things Lee Hammock, y'all, I got
- 13:57to hop off here. I got to drive through the
- 13:59little haunted house or whatever in in North Carolina.
- 14:02I think it's in Oxford or somewhere.
- 14:03So I got to hit this road. Y'all, I just had to go live for
- 14:05a few minutes. Appreciate y'all being here.
- 14:08Hit the subscribe button if you haven't already.
- 14:09And as always, y'all, as always, as always, mental illness is out
- 14:16where my stuff go. This is crazy.
- 14:19I used to have a an exit. I used to have an exit thing.
- 14:22Mental is out. Peace.
- 14:23Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 14:25I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
- 14:28If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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- 14:39you heal and understand what you've been through.
- 14:41Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
- 14:43video. Peace.