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Break Free From Excuses - Masterminds EP2 · Masterminds Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Masterminds Podcast.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This podcast is a journey to full self-discovery and mastery of your most powerful tool, your mind.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: We'll explore powerful ideas and concepts that will shift your mindset and set you on a clear path for long-term success.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: You'll also hear conversations with some of the greatest minds around that will challenge and inspire you.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: But my goal and mission will always stay the same to help turn you into a true mastermind.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Let's start off with a question.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: If your life was a movie, would you blame how the story ends on the cameraman or one of the actors?
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Then why do we keep blaming other people for our lives when we are responsible for writing our own story?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Now the fact that you're watching this video already tells me that you are somebody who's ready to take ownership of your life.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that starts today.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we live in a world where so many people have made us feel that we are not in control of our actions, we are not in charge of what happens in our life.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: We end up blaming everybody for what happens to us, from the government to our friends, to you know our bosses, to our loved ones, to our family.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: We always have somebody else to blame for how our life is going.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: But if you know my mantra, I'm here to tell you yes, it's your fault.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Your life begins when you decide to take full ownership of it.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let me give you something to think about.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who doesn't understand life thinks that life is happening to them.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: They blame everyone for what's happening.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: Their problems are always somebody else's fault.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You know, they think this bad thing happened to me and this good thing happened to me.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: They always think life is happening to them.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Someone who's starting to get it believes that life is happening for them.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: They start to look at their opportunities and they start to realize that even their challenges sometimes lead to good things.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Those worst moments they had still led to a great achievement, and they start to believe that life is happening for them.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: But the person who fully understands life has come to be aware that life is happening because of them.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Life is happening because of the actions that they took, the decisions, the right decisions or the wrong decisions that they made.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Life is happening because of how they responded to their unfortunate circumstances and the fortunate ones.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: They understand that they are in full control.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: So life happens because of them.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, because look at it this way: you are the common denominator in your life.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: All those great moments, the big wins, the big losses, the times when you thought nothing was going to work out, the times when you felt everything was going just the way you wanted it to.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: You are the one person who's always been there.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: You can blame your spouse, you can blame this person, that person, but they are not there for every single moment.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: That alone should tell you that you are the deciding factor in everything that is happening in your life.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to decide today to stop waiting.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for that savior who's coming to change your life.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for that mentor who's coming to give you the right motivation and set you on the path.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for that billionaire who's coming to give you some money so you can start your business.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Stop waiting for the opportunity to become great.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: You need to understand nobody is coming to save you.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: You are the savior that you are looking for.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: As scary as that may sound, that is the most powerful news you can hear today.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you are the problem, then you are the solution.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because that means you can decide today to take your life into your hands, fix anything you don't like, enhance anything you like, and become even greater than you ever imagined.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: It just begins with the mindset of taking ownership.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know it's much easier to blame others for what's going on.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: It actually feels much better because you don't have to take the responsibility of everything that's happening in your life.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: But it actually steals your power from you.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Let's look at a few examples.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: You're heading to work, there was traffic, you're late.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: You get to work, what do you tell your boss, hmm, it wasn't me, there was traffic.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: But is it the traffic's fault, or could you have left a little earlier?
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: You have so many people who are complaining about their partners, and my partner did this, my partner didn't do that.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: But are you communicating to your partner?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Are you having productive conversations to try and solve it?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Or do you just want to find somebody to blame and sit there in self-pity?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Every single time that you put the blame on someone else is an opportunity you take from yourself to grow.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's an opportunity you take from yourself to become more responsible and take ownership of your life.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: Blame feels easy, but it keeps you stuck, it keeps you weak, and it takes away your power.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now let's look at excuses.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Excuses are just well-weded lies.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do this because I have ADHD, I can't do this because I'm poor.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I couldn't do this because I didn't start life well, I can't do this because I'm too big.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, some of these things may be facts, but they aren't limits.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Your situation should not define who you can be.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Let's use a real life example.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: There's a man called Immanuel Yabua.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Immanuel Yaboua was born with a disability.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: He only had one functioning leg.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: Very early in his life, he had his father abandon him.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this is someone who has every right, every right to say that life has been unfortunate to him, to use excuses to determine why he won't amount to anything.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: In 2001, Immanuel Yaboah rode a bicycle 600 kilometers across Ghana just to raise awareness to the fact that disabled people can still achieve great things.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, because he did this, his life just transformed.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: Now, because he decided to take his life in his own hands and not let his disability define him, he actually won a courage award by ESPN.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: He was featured on Oprah Winfrey's website, and now he has a foundation that helps other disabled people.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: This story should make you know that taking ownership does not mean punishing yourself.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't mean feeling guilty.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: It means taking responsibility for your life, understanding the fact that your actions define your results.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Life is not happening to you, life is happening because of you.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: In 1958, Fritz Hayder developed the attribution theory, which explains that as humans, we are always looking for why did this happen?
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: We always want to explain our circumstances, which is a good thing.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: But the problem is for most people, when they ask why, they look for external attribution instead of internal.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: They always think there's an external factor that is making things happen the way they are happening.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: But everything happens from inside.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Let me say something a bit controversial.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: It's your fault because you are the only one that exists in your world.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody is living their life, existing in their world.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: But in your world, it's only you.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Everything that happens in your world is a reflection of your internal state.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: If your life is in chaos, it means internally there's chaos.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: If your life is successful, it means you have a successful mindset.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: If your bank account is empty, then it means your financial knowledge is empty.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: Change what is inside and the outside will begin to change.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, now let's get more practical.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Enough theory.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: You have to ask yourself, how can you take ownership of your life?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Now to do that, it begins with brutal honesty.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: With everything that happens in your life, you have to ask yourself these questions.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: How am I contributing to this?
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: If something is happening in your life, you don't like it, you like it, you enjoy it, you hate it, there is something that you have done.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: There is a decision that you took previously which made this happen.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to ask yourself, how am I contributing to this?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: The second question you need to ask is, what can I do to change this?
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you start to take responsibility, then you start to realize the things that you do that work and the things that you do that make the situation worse.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you start to become more intelligent about your own actions.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: So you ask yourself, what can I do to get a different result?
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I always talk about the fact that there is no such thing as failure.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because the only way to succeed is to fail, fail, fail, fail again until finally you get it right.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: So when you want to fix the things in your life, you have to ask, what did I fail at?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: What did I do that didn't work for me?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: What action did I take?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: What decision did I make that didn't suit my goal?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then you take a different action and you see the results of that.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you like how it went this time?
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: You spoke to your partner, you had a big fight.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: What did you say?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Did you trigger him or her?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Did you bring up something from the past that made the conversation go south?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: Did you talk with an attitude?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: Did you talk in a way that your partner did not appreciate?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: What did I say that could have made things escalate?
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: When you look at that, the next time you're talking to them, you try a different approach.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe calm down.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, maybe breathe in before you talk so that it doesn't seem as though you are angry.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe don't bring up something that upsets your partner.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe even ask them.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: When things have calmed down, ask them, did I do something yesterday that upset you?
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_00: Is there another way you would want me to approach this topic the next time?
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: You need to be able to reflect on your actions and your decisions.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: The average person takes about 2,000 decisions every single day.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: So how can you believe, after taking 2,000 actions every single day, that your life is not your responsibility?
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_00: There is something that you must have done right to get you to where you are, and there is something that you did wrong to bring you to the unfortunate situation you are in today.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: From the time you went to sleep to the time you woke up, to the food you ate in the morning, that's if you ate in the morning at all.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Did you exercise?
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Did you wake up with a smile or you decided to walk around frowning?
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: When you went to work and your colleague was rude to you, what did you say before the word rude to you?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Did you say hi?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: When your boss is scolding you, what did you do?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Did you finish your assignment on time?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: Did you communicate to your boss effectively?
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Every single day of your life, you are taking decisions that is shaping the future version of you.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to start being responsible with the decisions that you take.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now I know that most people are jumping to that unfortunate thing in their life.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Some one big moment that happened that they hated, and they are saying, that was not my fault.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: That definitely happened to me.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: But I have a question.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: How did you respond?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're driving, and a Trotra driver, a bus driver, crosses you rudely.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Do you stop your car, get out of the car, and go and fight with him?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: And then when you get late for the big meeting that you were heading to, you say, hmm, it wasn't my fault, or it was the Trotra driver.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was your fault.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't your fault that he crossed you.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: It wasn't your fault that he interrupted you.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: But how you responded was your choice.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: So you analyze that, and the next time, when he crosses you like that, you ask yourself, is it important for me to react in this way?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Is the meeting I'm heading to more important than the fight that I'm going to win with a Trotra driver?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's go back to the partner conversation.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I see two loved ones getting in a heated fight, and each person so desperately wants to be right.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_00: But there should come a time where you ask yourself, is it more important to win this argument or to win in the relationship?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: Are we in a relationship against each other, or are we in a are we in a relationship with each other?
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: When you think like this, you will let go of so many things in your life.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: And life begins to happen when you begin to let go of anything that is just a distraction.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_00: So now you need to understand there's a big difference between fault and power.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: So you may not have caused the wound, but it's your job to heal.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's not good enough to say that this just happened to me.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm going to sit there and let things keep going bad.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: When I started out in the music industry, one of the things I realized very, very quickly was that things weren't as structured as I thought they were going to be.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: I met so many problems, and I tried at first to just solve everybody's problems and come up with these things, and when it wasn't working, I said, Oh, the industry is not this and the industry is that, and I was complaining.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: But then I thought about it, what can I do?
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, if I can't fix everybody's problem, how about I fix the problems in my space?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_00: How about I grow?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: How about I learn more?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I would find books online and learn more about sound engineering, learn about music management, learn about marketing, learn about structures.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I decided to fix my space and then I would grow my space.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I went from having a few employees to more employees, which gives me the power to influence more people to also do things right.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I now built an ecosystem of people that were operating the way I believe things would work.
• 15:45
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of complaining about those who wouldn't do things right, I created my own world.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what you need to do with everything happening in your life.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: Be it your friends, be it your workplace, you can create your own world.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let anybody deceive you that you don't have a choice.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: You always have a choice.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let me even say something weird.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: You have a choice where you work, who you work with, who you are married to.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your kids, you have a choice on every single thing.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: If anything does not serve you, walk away from it.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: If your job does not serve you, walk away from it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I see people who have abusive bosses, insulting them, talking to them rudely, and they sit there and take it because I need to make money.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: The fact that you need to make money does not change the fact that you have a choice.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: You have many choices.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can get another job, you can improve in your job so that you are promoted over that abusive boss.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: You can start your own company.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying any of these choices is easy, but they are still choices that you can make.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_00: Which means if you buckle down and work hard at it, you can make it.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: Because here's a funny thing.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of us, every one of us knows exactly what we need to do.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: We just don't do it because it's too difficult.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: That just means that being successful is simple, but it's not easy.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of you watching me right now knows exactly what you need to do if you want to be the strongest man in the world, if you want to be the girl with the fittest body in the world, you need to go to the gym every day, you need to eat healthy.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone knows what to do.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if you are not in shape, it's not because you don't know what to do, it's because it's difficult.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to be rich, we all know the path to riches.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Save money, invest money, grow your knowledge, work hard, and you will make it.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: So if you aren't rich, it's because it's difficult.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of blaming the system, instead of blaming your circumstances, look inside and ask yourself: how do I build the discipline that I need to overcome this difficult journey that I must go on?
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, let me talk about something with um motivational speakers and rich entrepreneurs who come and give advice.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Every time a rich person gives an advice and they say that I started with one teaspoon, or I started with one cube of sugar, or I started by planting one corn, they always get backlash.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody insults them and always says that instead of showing us the way you are coming to tell us, you know, fairy tale stories.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: But the truth is, everybody started from nothing.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_00: There's no exception.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Even the person who is benefiting from generational wealth, an earlier generation started from nothing.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: So the path to success is the same.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: You go from nothing to something to everything.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you need to decide how hard you are going to work, how smart you are going to get, how serious you're going to be about succeeding.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: Take the ownership.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Every time you fail, dust yourself off and keep going again.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody succeeded overnight.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_00: You can check the stories of some of the greatest people in the world from Henry Ford, Alan Watts, Tesla, Edison, the Wright brothers, what all these people have in common, yes.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_00: They were determined.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: They kept going when everyone thought it was impossible, and they understood that their failures did not define them.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_00: So they pushed through time until they succeeded.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're watching me right now, this means you're ready to take ownership of your life.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is and will always be your life.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let anybody control you.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: Don't let anybody make you feel they have power to make something happen in your life.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_00: It is your life.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: Take control today and change things to be how you want them to be.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it's your fault, but that is your superpower.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_00: So now I need you to ask yourself what part of your life are you outsourcing to others?
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: What power of yours have you handed over to somebody else to take control of?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: What did you believe before today that you could not control, that you could not take full responsibility for?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: Look at that and make that change today.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Take full ownership.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: And the next time anything is happening in your life, the next time something is happening that you don't like, ask which part of this is mine to fix?
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do next to take me closer to who I want to be?
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: What choice can I make today that benefits my future self?
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_00: How can I take control of what is happening to me?
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: As always, my mission is to help turn you into a true mastermind.