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EXPOSING A NARCISSIST: Why Outing Them is Your Greatest Power · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Did you know that exposing A narcissist could be your
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  greatest weapon against them? It could be your greatest power
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  against that toxic narcissistic person to finally get them to
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  leave you alone. To get other people to see them
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  for who they really are. To see them for who they
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  actually are. To pull that damn narcissistic
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  mask off. That's what we talk about today,
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  y'all. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist here
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  to give you the inside look at the mind of a narcissist and
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  let's hop right into it, y'all. I know that dealing with a
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  narcissist can be scary. It can be traumatic, it can be,
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  you know, it's life altering. Let's keep it hot and ready like
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  a Little Caesar's pizza. Dealing with a narcissistic
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  person can absolutely be life altering.
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  It could be like the thought of exposing them can be scary as
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  hell. It can be.
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  It can make you shaking your little empathetic boots or your
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  empathetic heels, whatever kind of footwear you got in your
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  empathetic footwear. It can make those things shake
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  right. But sometimes it's necessary.
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  Y'all I, I do a lot of one on ones of resume with survivors
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  and thrivers, right? I talked to so many people and
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  one of the main things that I hear from people is that they
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  regret not telling people who the narcissist was.
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  They regret defending the narcissistic person.
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  They regret taking up for the narcissist when they feel like
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  they shouldn't have. Those are all absolutely valid
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  regrets that people are going to have, right?
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  But and they because they regret it, because the narcissist has
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  done so, has done so much to protect their image, to put the
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  image out there like they are a good person.
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  And when they leave or when, when you leave them or when they
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  leave you, it's hard for people to get on your side because
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  you've been protecting them because you didn't expose them,
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  because you didn't tell people what you were going through.
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  That's the biggest regret, one of the biggest regrets that I
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  talk to people about, right? And that's why I say sometimes
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  exposing them is necessary right before you expose them.
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  Acknowledge that the fear is real because it is.
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  The fear of exposing them is real because you always want to
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  be safety first above all else. You want to protect your safety.
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  You want to protect the safety of your children, your family
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  members, your business, your finances, whatever it is, right,
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  your livelihood, whatever it is. You want to protect yourself.
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  So you want to go into it with a protective mindset, with a
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  protective mentality. You want to go into this type of
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  stuff, like acknowledging that the fear is real, but exposing
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  them might be necessary. You have the power.
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  Let's be real, y'all? Narcissists fear being exposed.
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  They absolutely do you. Yeah, yes, you are afraid, but
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  so are they. They are also afraid.
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  Afraid of being exposed, Afraid of you showing the world who
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  they really are, Afraid of you telling the world who they
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  really are. They are cowards, they know it.
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  That's why they spend so much time trying to trash your
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  reputation. That's why the smear campaign
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  exists, y'all. That's why they smear you so you
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  can't get ahead of who they are. That's why they smear you so you
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  can't tell, so your reputation is damaged.
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  They have plausible deniability. Like, look, I'm the victim here.
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  They can play the victim, like, just like you.
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  Just as much as you're afraid of them, they are afraid of you.
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  I promise you. Right.
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  And This is why sometimes exposure is necessary.
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  And what I mean, what I mean by exposure, I don't look.
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  Yeah. Exposing them pretty much means
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  telling your story, telling the truth.
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  You're not lying. I know the narcissistic people
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  will try to convince you that you're smear campaigning them,
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  right? That you are.
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  Just like you're you're lying about me.
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  You're crazy. You making stuff up.
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  You're telling the truth. Yo.
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  They think about it like this. If they hadn't done anything
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  bad, they wouldn't have anything to worry about, right?
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  Right. If they hadn't, if they had
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  treated you well, they wouldn't have had.
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  They wouldn't have anything to worry about.
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  They would. There would be nothing afraid to
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  be afraid of if they had treated you.
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  OK, You see what I'm saying? This is why exposing them,
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  sometimes it's necessary to break that, to break the
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  hypnosis that sometimes narcissistic people are dealing
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  with right now. I know that there are some valid
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  fears when you're dealing with the narcissist, right?
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  When you think about exposing them or telling your story.
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  There are valid theories about your safety and things like that
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  as well. But there's also a fear of you
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  telling your story and people not believing you, people not
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  listening to you. That's going to happen, y'all.
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  There are some people that are so entranced that are so
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  involved or so like that are so hypnotized by your narcissistic
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  partner or parent or whoever their ex that they don't care
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  what happened to you. The new supply might not care
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  about what happened to you, what you went through.
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  So when you expose this person, sometimes you have to temper
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  your expectations. The fear of not being believed
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  is absolutely real. But sometimes when you go to go
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  for to go for this exposure or go to tell your story, you might
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  have to temper your expectations of people that might or might
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  not be on your side. You see what I'm saying?
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  Because not everybody is going to believe you.
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  Not everybody is going to take your side.
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  Some people will just call you a liar.
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  Some people will say, you know what they've already treated.
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  They've always treated me well. They've like, maybe you're
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  crazy. What did you do?
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  That's going to happen, y'all? Not everybody is going to be on
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  your side. So when you go to expose this
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  person to tell your story, whatever the case may be, just
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  understand that not everybody is going to be with you.
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  That's something you got to understand, y'all.
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  And the reason why there are so many narcissists that fear being
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  exposed is because you shatter that perfect illusion.
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  Oh yeah. They want to appear to be such
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  people of high people of the cloth, people with high ilk,
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  right? People with that role models,
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  they want to be role models. They want to be people that are
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  looked up to and admired. That's what they want.
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  So when you expose me, you, you expose them or tell your story
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  or tell the truth. That shatters that that
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  illusion, that possibility exists.
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  That's why narcissists fear being exposed so damn much,
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  because you could absolutely shatter the illusion that people
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  have of them. You can break that hypnosis.
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  Not for everybody. Again, go back to the other part
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  I was just talking about. It doesn't work for everybody.
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  There are some narcissists out there or some some people out
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  there that are dealing with a narcissist that do not care what
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  you went through, that do not care what you experienced, that
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  do not care what has happened. They don't care.
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  So you have to this one, you gotta be OK with y'all just
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  understand that you're not crazy like and when you go public, a
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  lot of times the perfect illusion that this narcissist
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  has not out, the narcissist has put out there.
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  Not only does it break them or break that perfect illusion, but
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  it also means a lot of times you're not coming back that
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  you're absolutely done. So many people ask me like Lee,
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  how do I get them to leave me alone?
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  What is the final discard? Sometimes the final discard
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  results in his exposure because they don't think that they can
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  come back. They've been thoroughly
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  embarrassed in public, right? They've been thoroughly
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  embarrassed by people. So they just like, well, I'm not
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  coming back. You know that they, I'm not, I'm
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  just done. I'm not coming back ever again.
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  Like they are done. They don't think you're ever
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  going to come back once you expose them.
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  So sometimes in order to get them to leave you alone for
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  good, you need to expose them, right?
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  And like, let me table this right here.
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  When I say expose, I don't mean necessarily making a TikTok and
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  going viral and getting 100 million views.
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  That's not what I mean. Sometimes exposure can simply
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  mean telling your friends, telling your family, telling
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  their friends, telling their family.
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  Sometimes that's what exposure is.
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  Not everybody's going to be a TikTok or YouTube or Instagram
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  celebrity based on exposing their narcissistic partner.
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  It just doesn't happen that way, you know what I mean?
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  So the fact that it doesn't happen that way just let you
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  know, this is like, not everybody is going to be this
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  major exposure. Not everybody is going to be on
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  the front page of the New York Times exposing their
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  narcissistic ex right Now, are there some people who end up on
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  the New York Times for exposing A narcissistic ex or for
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  exposing domestic violence or abuse that they've been through?
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  Yeah, it's one woman. She she started running a
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  marathon or whatever in her bride in her wedding dress to
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  raise money for domestic violence, right?
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  That's on the front page of newspapers.
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  That's some magazines. But not everybody's going to do
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  that. You're not you.
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  I want look, you gonna run a marathon, but maybe not
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  everybody runs a marathon in their wedding dress.
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  They just to raise money and things like that.
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  Y'all Also I would say this as well, when and if you plan to go
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  public, when and if you plan to expose this narcissistic person
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  to tell you a story. One thing that you need to
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  understand is that it's taking your power back.
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  You get to reclaim the narrative.
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  Narcissistic people spend so much time lying and being just
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  obtuse and being misleading and being fake as hell to so many
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  people. Then it can be very difficult to
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  deal with this person overall. It can be very difficult to just
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  live your life with any semblance of normalcy because
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  they've lied so much, because they've been manipulating so
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  much. So you get to reclaim the
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  narrative. You get to you get to put your
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  side of the story out there because a lot of times
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  narcissists are the telling the lie.
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  They're telling their side of the story as the truth, as the
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  whole truth and nothing but the truth.
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  So help me, God, narcissists, they are like they just got
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  sworn in to testify and they're, they're lying their asses off,
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  right? They're lying, being
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  manipulative, being a horrible human being.
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  They're doing all of this stuff. So when you tell your story,
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  that's why I say it gives you the power back because now you
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  control the narrative about you to some or most people depending
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  on the situation. Again, some people won't care
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  about you telling your story because they're because just
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  like when victims of Grape or SA come out years later and tell
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  their story, some people will automatically dismiss them
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  because why did you wait five years to tell your story?
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  Why did you wait so long to tell your story?
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  Why did you tell your story when it actually happened?
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  See, that's why I don't believe you.
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  You see, I'm saying your story could 100% absolutely be true.
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  You can have irrefutable, verifiable evidence that it
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  actually happened to you, and some people will still not care
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  and make up things. They'll absolutely create
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  falsities and things like that to benefit themselves.
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  This is what they'll do. This is how they go about doing
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  things, right? They don't.
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  Some people don't care that you're sharing your story, but
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  taking your power back. It's not just taking it back
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  from everybody else. It's giving you yourself the
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  power. You're giving yourself the power
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  back, and that's what the goal is.
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  A lot of times. You get to reclaim your power,
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  reclaim the narrative around yourself.
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  This is what happens, y'all, And I said before you take the step
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  in exposing this person, understand that it's going to
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  require courage. It absolutely it's going to
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  require courage. It's going to require that you
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  sometimes break the isolation that you might have been in
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  because sometimes you get isolated from your friends or
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  family. Sometimes you haven't talked to
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  your friends or family members in a long ass time.
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  You haven't you haven't spoken to them.
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  Isolation and toxic relationships is a real thing.
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  So taking your power back, sometimes you get to expose
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  them. You get your life back, you on
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  the other side of this exposure. Yes, it's fear, you and me
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  afraid, but you opportunity to get your life back exist like
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  they took your life from you, not just physically, right you,
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  you get to live and whatnot most times, but you also get your
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  family and friends back who might miss you, who might still
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  be there to be supportive of you, who might understand what
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  you've been through and be there to comfort and love you because
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  that's necessary y'all. But again, before you expose
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  this person, understand that there will be some backlash.
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  Understand that once you expose them now, so could narcissist,
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  could a narcissist disappear once you expose them?
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  Yeah, they could absolutely disappear and vanish.
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  They could vanish from the face of the earth, right?
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  Afraid with a little narcissistic tail tucked in,
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  right? They could do that.
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  But the tail tucked in between their legs, they could vanish.
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  But some of them will not vanish.
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  Some of them will absolutely fight back.
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  And just it's kind of like starting a war, going back and
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  forth, going back and forth. They're lying.
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  You telling the truth, just understand you might get, you
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  might run into some narcissistic grades, they might make up more
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  salacious rumors. They might actually try to
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  expose you, You know what I mean?
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  Sometimes they might try to expose you with lies and things
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  like that, or episodes of reactive abuse.
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  If they've ever got you on camera reacting to something
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  that they have done, they'll get you acts bad back.
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  Act bad babe, bad Barbie, bad Barbie.
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  She got exposed like she exposed her narcissistic partner or
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  whatever, or X for being abusive to her.
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  You know what happened? He put a video online of her on
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  the hood of the car, like the hood of the car, screaming,
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  trying to keep him from leaving. So she exposed him.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what ended up happening.
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  That's why you have to protect yourself and be prepared for it
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  because if you're not ready, they're going to embarrass you.
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  If you're not ready, they're going to come back and just lie
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  more and more and more. Y'all, so not everybody is like
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  not everybody needs to expose their narcissistic partners.
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  Some people you feel like you might need to just think about
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  this type of stuff. Y'all you do get your power back
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  you again. You could aggravate them and
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  cause a narcissistic rage and they could just make your try to
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  make your life a live in hell because you exposed them, but
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  only because you told the truth. So prepare for all exit.
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  Prepare for everything that could happen in these
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  situations. Y'all protect your peace,
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  protect yourself. Hit that subscribe button if you
• 13:44
  haven't already. Y'all mental illness.net for all
• 13:46
  things Lee Hammock started my interviews, my podcast here next
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  week. So hit the subscribe button
• 13:51
  y'all and I am out please.