Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 5-MINUTE FRIDAY: How I Fixed the Fear of Spending Money on Myself

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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: How I Fixed the Fear of Spending Money on Myself · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, I'm only a body here with another installment
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of five Minute Friday from Hurdle. I'm having one of
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: those moments where I am absolutely nowhere where I expected
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to be in this moment, but maybe I'm everywhere I'm
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: supposed to be. The last few days, I felt so
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: many things right. Like I thought that I would be
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: doing many things that I'm not. I thought that I
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: would be booking a day two test in London and
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: thinking about making sure that I had my travel size
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: crunchy peanut butter. I thought that I would be thinking
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: about recovery devices I wanted to bring in my carry
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: on and looking at when I could get a reservation
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  Speaker 1: at Dashome.
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  Speaker 2: And instead of that, although nothing to be, you know, glum.
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  Speaker 1: About necessarily I am as you listen to this on
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  Speaker 1: my way.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: To Florence, I feel a lot.
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  Speaker 1: I feel content, I feel excited. I'm still kind of
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: mourning the things that aren't and I know that that's okay.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: But a really big theme for me over the last week,
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  Speaker 1: and something that I wanted to share with you all
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  Speaker 1: in this installment of five Minute Friday is talking.
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  Speaker 2: About investing in yourself.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm not just talking about your time and your energy,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: although those things are really really important, but I mean,
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  Speaker 1: like financially investing in yourself. It's been something that I
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: have had a lot of trouble doing in my adulthood,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: but have figured out a way to get better with
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  Speaker 1: over the last couple of years.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not easy, right. I certainly identify as a giver.
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  Speaker 1: I don't think twice when it comes to, you know,
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  Speaker 1: shelling out for a friend's birthday, or buying gifts for
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  Speaker 1: weddings or engagements or babies. Oh my god, please let
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: me buy your baby little baby Nikes. But when it
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: comes to spending dollars on me, oh my god, that
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  Speaker 1: gives me so much anxiety, or well, let me say
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: it used to give me a lot of anxiety. And
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  Speaker 1: what I came to realize in the last few years
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  Speaker 1: that has empowered me to spend on myself is that
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: if I do it wisely and responsibly, then I have
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  Speaker 1: no reason to feel guilt around this. So what do
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  Speaker 1: I mean by wisely and responsibly? For me, I have
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  Speaker 1: set aside a certain amount of money. I've budgeted a
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  Speaker 1: certain amount of money to spend on myself during a
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  Speaker 1: month over the course of a few months.
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  Speaker 2: And perhaps for different things.
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  Speaker 1: Right, So, I have a quote unquote self care budget
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  Speaker 1: that I would not say is anything exorbitant, but one
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  Speaker 1: that's set aside for something like a manicure every now
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: and again, or maybe taking myself out for a drink.
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  Speaker 1: I also, and I've talked about this specific quote unquote
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: money pop before, have had a bank account for a
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  Speaker 1: really long time that I've called my Italy Fund.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sitting here like shaking my head. Let me tell you.
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  Speaker 1: When it felt like everything blew up with London, I
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: felt like it was so serendipitous that the Italy Fund
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: was waiting for me. There is no you know, I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to be using all of the money that
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I had put in this Italy Fund. I essentially have
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  Speaker 1: put about three hundred dollars in that fund a month
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  Speaker 1: since my last trip to Italy about three years ago now,
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  Speaker 1: if maybe not a little bit longer ago. And I
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  Speaker 1: felt so proud and grateful and without guilt when I
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: was booking experiences or hotels or dinners. In my mind,
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  Speaker 1: it was like, Wow, good on me for looking out
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  Speaker 1: for me, and especially as a single woman in my thirties,
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  Speaker 1: I feel so empowered that I can spend on me
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  Speaker 1: and feel good about that investment. Of course, this is
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  Speaker 1: relative to my current predicament and the pivot, but I
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: also feel that way when it comes to my home
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: and again, and just like doing things that make me happy,
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  Speaker 1: I have worked so hard to get to this place,
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  Speaker 1: and I am of the camp that you don't need
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  Speaker 1: to be making obscene amounts of money to figure out
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  Speaker 1: a way to intelligently invest in yourself as well. It's
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: a few dollars here and there that you can save
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  Speaker 1: from a check.
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  Speaker 2: Right. It's planning to take care of you. And if
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: you're not taking the time to.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Plan to take care of you, but you're so focused
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: on taking care of others, then you're gonna hit a
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: hurdle in that, right, because you need to fill your
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: own cup up to pour from it to the rest
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: of the world. It's that ever beautiful saying. If you
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: don't put your oxygen mask on first, then you can't
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  Speaker 1: help others, or you know what I'm getting at something
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  Speaker 1: along those lines. Anyway, it feels really good to invest
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  Speaker 1: in me, and amidst you know this really emotional time,
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  Speaker 1: I understand now that this too is an opportunity. And yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I know money is like a weird thing to talk about,
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  Speaker 1: but that's what we do here, right, We talk about
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  Speaker 1: the weird stuff sometimes, and so that's.
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  Speaker 2: Where my head's at with that.
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  Speaker 1: Anyway, my prompt for you this week, how can you
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  Speaker 1: invest in you? What can you put into place? What parameters,
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  Speaker 1: what strategy can you put into place so that you
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  Speaker 1: don't have to feel guilty about spending on yourself. I
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: do have an episode that I feel like I should
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  Speaker 1: reference here. I talked about financial wellness once on the show.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I'm going to put a link to that in the
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  Speaker 1: show notes. But remember you're worthy of your own investment,
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: your energy, your time giving to yourself, and of course,
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  Speaker 1: as I just mentioned, financially. So the prompt again, how
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  Speaker 1: can you better invest in yourself in the weeks and
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  Speaker 1: months to come? Now in her question, okay.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: Emily, this is any from Minnesota. My question is how
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  Speaker 3: do you best deal with disappointments in your life? More
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  Speaker 3: like when you're like disappointed in yourself or you feel
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  Speaker 3: like you could have done better and you didn't and
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  Speaker 3: you didn't put your best foot forward, whether that be
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  Speaker 3: in a race or workout or in relationships. In your life.
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  Speaker 3: Just wondering if you have any practical tips or ways
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  Speaker 3: just like retrain your mind to have dealt with those
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  Speaker 3: disappointments and overcome them. Thanks so much, bye.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: Oh man. How relevant to the timing.
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  Speaker 1: So disappointment is challenging, right, because you need to feel
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  Speaker 1: that disappointment. If you try to pretend that you're not disappointed,
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  Speaker 1: that doesn't serve you. So you need to navigate those
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  Speaker 1: feelings and go through all of them. Now, with that said,
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  Speaker 1: if you're only focused on one part of an experience
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: or a specific journey, then you're not seeing the whole
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: bigger picture. So I'll take this marathon into the picture
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: for a second. I said that wrong, but you're following
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  Speaker 1: where I'm going here. If I based my success of
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  Speaker 1: the marathon solely around crossing the ultimate finish line in London,
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  Speaker 1: then I was missing the point. I will not be
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: crossing that finish line in London, but I can say
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: that without a doubt that there are many successes from
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: this training cycle that have nothing to do with that.
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  Speaker 2: And so even though I'm not towing the line for the.
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Marathon, I do think of this training cycle the last
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: three months of my life as a success because in
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: those three months I was able to find new community,
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  Speaker 1: learn a lot about myself, and show up for myself.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, this perspective isn't something that just snaps into place, however,
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  Speaker 1: I use this word a lot. But you have an
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: opportunity to find that perspective, and you also have the
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: opportunity to find what success looks like for you. Right So,
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  Speaker 1: just because one person, someone you know, has one definition
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: of success, that doesn't mean that you need to see
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: things in the same light. And they can't define what
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: success looks like for you. Let me say that again,
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  Speaker 1: No one else can define what success looks like for you.
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  Speaker 2: Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
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  Speaker 1: But what matters most, forever and always is the opinion
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  Speaker 1: that you have of yourself. You know where you're coming from,
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  Speaker 1: so focus on that again. Feel all the feelings. It's
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  Speaker 1: okay to be disappointed, but lingering that, lingering in that
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  Speaker 1: for too long, and you're the only person that really
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  Speaker 1: gets articulate what too long could be. Lingering in that
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  Speaker 1: for too long isn't going to serve you. Take a
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  Speaker 1: deep breath on those days that feel hard, and do
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  Speaker 1: the best you can with what you have something else.
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  Speaker 2: My pet said to me earlier today.
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  Speaker 1: He's trying to give me some perspective about a date
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  Speaker 1: that fell through. He said to me, sometimes I have
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  Speaker 1: to remind myself that if I thought about this one
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  Speaker 1: thing that was bumming me out today three months from now,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: is it even going to be on my radar? Made
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  Speaker 1: me think. Maybe it makes you think too, anyway, you know.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: The drill over at Hurdle podcast at Emily a Body.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: The Hurdle membership is kicking off today and more goodies
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: to come in October as we focus on our first
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: value as.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: A community, and that is community.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: For more information on the membership, text the word membership
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: to seven three two hurdler Again. That is seven three
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: to two hurdler. That's all she wrote. Another hurdle conquered.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time,