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TMG: The Mum Guilt Is Real · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to The Mums Group. You actually want
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Sophie Torver. And I'm
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Amy Torver. And we've kicked Kate out of The Mums
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Group this week. Nah, just joking. We're actually prepping to
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: go to Hilary Duff over the weekend. We're having a
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: bit of a girls' trip. It's the first time away
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: from our sons. I'm starting to feel sad about it. Yeah,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling really sad. But I think once we're over there,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: like I think the hard thing will be saying goodbye. Yeah. Yeah.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: And then once we're over there, we'll be living the life, shopping. Yeah.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Seeing Hilary Duff would be great. I'm just looking forward
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: to getting up in the morning in Melbourne and having
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: time to get ready. Yeah. Having a shower, having a
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: bit of a quiet moment. I know. That sounds like
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: absolute bliss. Now, we thought it'd be fun to answer
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: some questions that you guys sent in. Thank you so much.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: There are so many good ones. So let's dive in.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: The first question is, how do you deal with judgment
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: from other mums? The sad thing is there's judgment from
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: people in real life. There's judgment from people online. Judgment comes...
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: from every corner really. I think you only realize once
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: you become a mom, just how judged you, you become.
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: As soon as you're pregnant, the judgment starts. Where are
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: you giving birth? How are you giving birth? Have you
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: thought about X, Y, and Z? And it's like, shut
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: the fuck up. Let me enjoy my little fruit app
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: and having fun, being immersed in the excitement of it
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: and leave me alone. So I don't deal with judgment well,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: I think. Yeah. I think my first slice of I
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: don't know if I want to call it judgment, but
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: more critique was I remember sharing a photo on my
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Instagram story and it was of Harry and Luca in
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: their car seats. It was this really cute one where
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: they were tiny and somebody messaged me and was like, oh,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: your straps are wrong on the car seat. But to
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: be fair to the person, they probably thought they were
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: helping me out. But it was like, in my mind,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: it was like, you've done something wrong. Do you know
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: what though? I don't really share that much about Harry anymore.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I spoke about last week how I've joined the You
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Just Wait mum group. Yeah. Unfortunately, even though I hated
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: it so much when I was pregnant and I don't
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: know what it is, but there is almost this inherent
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: thing in you to judge people when they do something
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: differently to you, which I fucking hate. And I don't
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: know why I catch myself doing it sometimes. And I
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: have to say to myself, no, everyone's parenting style is
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: different just because you do something a certain way doesn't
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: mean everyone wants to do it that way. Do you
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: know what it is? I think that when you're like,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: for example, we're 18 months into this motherhood thing. 16 months. Sorry,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: 18 and 16 months. And I feel like when you
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: see other mums who are now in the newborn stage,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: you think, oh my God, I could help them. Like
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you say, they're complaining about sleep and you're like, I
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: wish I could tell them about, for example, Dr. Golly's thing,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: or I wish I could tell them about how to birth.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: And it's, I think a lot of it actually does
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: come from a good place where people do want to
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: help you, but it just comes across as really judgmental.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: That is so true. I feel myself wanting to help
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: people and say, oh, why don't you do it this way?
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: But it's the last thing you want to hear when
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: you're going through it yourself. I really like this question.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: Someone said, how do you romanticize your night? This is
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: super important, I think, as a mom to actually have
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: little rituals in place. I mean, I've got a few
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: very small ones. Tell me. Okay. So this is what
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I do. Firstly, I have started using a wine glass
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: for my soft drink at nighttime, which sounds stupid, but...
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: I put ice in there. Just something about the wine
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: glass just takes it to that next level. It elevates
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: the occasion, doesn't it? Yeah. I've even seen Kmart have
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: released these really cute Christmas wine glasses and I don't
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: drink wine, but I thought I must get one of
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: those for my Coke No Sugar. Now I have been
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: going between, actually I say Coke No Sugar. I am
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: a Pepsi Max fiend at the moment. I've also been
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: drinking now a lot of poppy soda as well. You
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: can get it on Amazon. It's really expensive, but it
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: makes me feel better about drinking it. It's got Molly
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Mays seal of approval too. Exactly. And the other thing
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I do is I like to have a red light
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: on at night. So I'll flick all of the lights
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: off and I put on, I've got this like Ikea light.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: You bought one at the same time as me. Changes colours,
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: doesn't it? Yeah, except I'm devastated because Harry accidentally broke it.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: So I need to get a new one ASAP because
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: it's just not the same without this light on. My
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: night is similar in the sense that when Brandon is
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: getting Luca to bed, Archie and I, my dog, we
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: will jump on our L-shaped couch. I will get myself
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: a fridge, Siggy. It doesn't need to be in a glass.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: I just have it out of the can. Do it
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: in a wine glass next time. Maybe I'll try. And
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: ice is a must, please. Well, I just think it's
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: perfect out the can. The can is, you know, at
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: a good temperature. Well, that's the other thing. The can
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: has to be properly marinated. That's right. It needs to
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: be in the– how many hours do you think a
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: can needs to be in the fridge for for it
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: to be enough? When we get a whole slab delivered,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: we just put them straight away in the fridge so
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: they're there. for days on end. Okay, another tip for
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: you then, Soph, and you have to come back and
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: report to the mums group, to elevate your fridge ciggy
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: even further, try 10 minutes before consuming it, put it
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: in the freezer. I have tried that but sometimes I
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: forget and then it's not, you know, fun. But, yeah,
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: so I have my drink and I will immediately turn
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: vlogs on because I know that this is the time
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: that I can watch them without being judged. So this
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: is because Brandon's putting Luca down to bed. Yeah, I
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: just love it. It's like 30 minutes to myself. uninterrupted.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I really should be getting dinner on, but
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: I just think, no, I'm going to enjoy it. And
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: I just veg. And then once Brandon comes out, we'll
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: either have our dinner that we've pre-organized, get takeaway a
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: lot of the time. And my new thing is watching
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: My Kitchen Rules. Again, I've spoken about this on the
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: subs episode. It's my guilty pleasure, but I just think
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: you've really got to embrace the coziness of the night. Yeah.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: Now someone else has written in saying, your boys are
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: all their dad's twins. I was hoping for little Torba
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: triplet boys. Come on now. I'm going to have to
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: put up a photo of me as a baby because
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: I have heard from so many people that Luca is
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: a spitting image of me. Do you know what it is?
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: It's almost like Luca can be a bit of a
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: two-face sometimes. Like he really does look like Sophie as
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: a baby and I suppose like Kate and I as
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: a baby. but then he'll pull an expression, which is brand.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Like we used to laugh. He's a two of us. Yeah.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: He's a combination. He is a combination. But the craziest
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: thing is that when Sophie and I go out with
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Harry and Luca, we will get stopped. And we've had
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: people ask like, or comment, oh, they're twins. Yeah. It's
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: going back to Luca for a second. It's so funny.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: Everyone says that the eyes and nose are me. And
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: then the smile and mouth and smile is Brandon. And
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: And when he cries. And when he cries. It's so
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: funny though because, as you said, he does have just
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: so many different expressions that are different people because I
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: can even see my papa in there as well and
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: my father-in-law. I mean, Jack definitely, he came out looking
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: a lot like Rhys, but I actually think he's getting
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: a bit more Torba in him. I suppose what they're
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: saying is that the three boys don't look identical. Yeah.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: But you know what? I'm happy that Harry looks like
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: my husband. Yeah. I'm quite pleased with that. Oh, I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: love that both of us are in there. I think
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: it's so special. You just feel sorry for one parent
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: when they don't even get a look in. Oh, yeah.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, people have joked that I haven't got a
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: look in with Harry. I can see little glints of you.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: As your mother-in-law said, he's got your crazy personality. She
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: didn't say crazy, but she said sense of humour. Sense
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: of humour. I meant crazy as an eccentric. Well, he's
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: got my hair. The poor thing, he's got my hair
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: too because Dale had like a lot of hair and
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: like thick jet black hair. Harry's got more of a
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: golden tinge. Same as Luca. They've both got the same hair. Yeah. Anyway,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: we could talk about that for a while. But it
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: makes me think, okay, so if we had a second,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: isn't the second meant to come out looking like the mother?
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Because the first always comes out looking like the dad. No,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: what would happen is your daughter comes out and they
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: look exactly like your husband. You know what I mean?
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: I feel like a daughter should look like their mother. No,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: but sorry, look at Kim Kardashian. Her first daughter came out.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: And looks like Kanye. The second one came, or one
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: of them, one of them really looks like her after that.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I have lost complete interest in the Kardashians. I need
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: to get back in. I feel like they've become a
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: bit irrelevant. I hate to say that because it corresponds
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: with the Kardashians getting older. For me, it's nothing to
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: do with their age. I just think that they have
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: exhausted every possible dramatic storyline. Do you know what I
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: think it is? It's because people consume content differently. I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: can't watch reality TV anymore. It's just overly dramatized. If
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: they brought out a doco, maybe they need a docuseries.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Do you know what's weird? I feel like my attention
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: span because of TikTok has reduced so much that when
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: I sit down to watch a reality TV show, I
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: can't concentrate on it. Yet I can really concentrate if
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I'm watching a thriller or a really good docu-series. I
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: never thought I'd say this. I love an Australian drama.
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: An Australian crime drama. That hooks me and that's when
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: I have to get off my phone and just be
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: engulfed in it. If anyone's got a good... Please send
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: them in because I do... Last scene. Have you watched
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: it yet? No, but I will have to. It is
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: so good. It's got the guy from Colin from Accounts.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I fucking love him. He's great in everything he does.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe we've spoken about this before. I can't remember, but
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: get on it. I also love anything with Teresa Palmer.
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: Love her. Really? Is she in this? No, she's not.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: But before she had her child... She was pregnant around
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: the same time as me. She was literally in so
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: many Aussie dramas. Doesn't she have like six kids or something? Yeah,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: she's got so many. Does that lead on to our
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: question about One and Done? Someone sent in, now that
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: your kids are one, what are your thoughts on One
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: and Done? Look, I can see now why people have
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: more kids because I said to Sophie, this is real talk,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: I said to Sophie the other day on the phone,
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, when I was in the newborn trenches,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I was like, how do people do this again and
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: have another one? Like, this is just so intense. And
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: then obviously as your child grows and they get into
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: a routine and things get easier and you get used
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: to it and they're just so beautiful. And like, for example,
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the other day, Harry just came up and gave me
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: a hug and his little arms wrapped around my neck.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: And I thought, I don't think there is any greater
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: feeling in the world than this. And even just this
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: age that Harry and Luke are at specifically, like they're
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: saying all these words, but it's not like they can
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: talk back to you. Whereas like Kate's son, Jack, he
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: can tell, like he's so gorgeous, but You know, he
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: dictates what Kate's doing. It is such a cute age one.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I love it. So they're at this really cute age
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: and I think that's what a lot of people do.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: They go, oh, my God, this is so cute. I
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: could have another one. I saw this on TikTok. Someone
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: was saying. what the hell is wrong with me? I
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: literally have started to romanticize pregnancy and the newborn stage.
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: And it's happened to me, if you will believe it.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I saw this video. You're romanticizing pregnancy. Well, not pregnancy,
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: like the hospital experience. So even though I literally was
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: crying most days, was fucking depressed out of my eyeballs.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: I literally saw this video and it was of the
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: person's baby and it was sitting in the clear thing.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: And it said my view when I woke up today
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: for the first time. And I literally felt like crying
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: and had to scroll back and find the picture of
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Luca when I first woke up to him. And, you know,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: you see those TikToks that are like, I will never
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: get this feeling back. And I was like, oh my God.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: I could see myself having another one. Oh, my God.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: Brandon's like listening to this on the way to work.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: He's just swerved off the road. I was like, oh,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: my God, like that is so special, that moment in
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: the hospital when you meet them. But then it takes
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: over me and I think I'm romanticising wanting to meet
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Luca again. Yeah. I see so many people saying that
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: they yearn for this feeling of meeting their child again.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: not a new child. It was funny the other day,
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: I think we were sending each other all photos of
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: the boys as babies. And Kate was like, someone's got
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: to have another one because we need that feeling, the
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: excitement of going to the hospital and meeting a baby
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: for the first time. Do you know, I hate talking
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: about this whole one and done thing because I hear
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: myself out loud and I think, oh, you sound like
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: you're being really cold. Or it sounds like you're not
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: enjoying motherhood. I am loving motherhood. I literally am obsessed
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: with Luca and obsessed with this age. And I constantly
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: say to my husband all the time, why can't he
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: stay like this forever? I love him so much. And
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: I just, I literally am already mourning him growing up.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: But the thing that I think about is one, financially,
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: it's very difficult to have a second child. Two, I
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: have to be realistic with myself. I'm turning 38 in March.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: I don't want to have two under two. can I
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: do this to myself and my mental health? Because obviously
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: everyone knows I struggled a bit in the early days.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: Do you know what? I would be so interested that like,
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: I don't personally want to be the guinea pig, but
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: I'd be so interested if, let's just put Kate forward
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: because her son's older. I'd like to see how Kate
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: went having a second in terms of juggling it all.
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: Because obviously when you have your first child, you don't
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: know how to do anything. Like I remember coming home
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: from the hospital. I was like, what the fuck? What
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: do we actually do now? But because you know all
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: of the burping techniques and you know that you, the
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: bottles and all that sort of stuff, routines, you go,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: it'd be so interesting to see you doing it again
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and how it would be. My sister-in-law, she has two
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: under 18 months old Wonder Woman. I don't know how
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: she's doing it. And she said she finds the newborn
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: easier at this stage. She's two months old than the toddler.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: And we were joking about how. Again, romanticising, oh, it's
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: nice just to sit down and give them a bottle
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: and watch the TV. Now you can't do it. But
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: do you know, because you're comparing it, so it's like,
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: would I rather sit on the couch with a newborn
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: and watch telly or would I rather go out the
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: back and have to kick a ball? But then again,
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: I was saying to her, it really depends on the
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: temperament of the baby, whether they're underweight, whether they've got colic,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: like what issues are going on. They're all so different.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: And also we were saying that what made the first
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: time around so difficult is that your whole life has
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: been totally changed. Like you are literally grieving your old
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: life and it's this shock to the system. You're like,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: what the fuck? It's not all about me. I think
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: that another reason why I'm very content with one is
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: the fact that I don't want to have to put, like,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I don't want to take my time away from Harry.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: That's what I keep thinking. I'm like, oh yeah, this
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: age is gorgeous. And like, I can see why other
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: people have another one. But then I think The amount
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: of time you have to put into a newborn, like
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: you're having to really tag team with your partner. And
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: I feel like the mum mainly gets, not stuck, but
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: you would generally look after the newborn while the dad
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: looked after the toddler. The thing with me too is
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: like now that he's 16 months old, I am seeing
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: more glimpses of my old self and I've never felt,
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: like I haven't felt this happy in so long. The
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: other thing is I am now getting to the stage
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: where I feel more like me again and I feel
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: like I'm, balancing things more. I'm loving the days that
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: we all get to spend together and I am excited
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to do activities. And Sophie and I have, we've been
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: talking about like going and doing some Pilates or playing
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: tennis and trying to get fit for summer in a
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: healthy way. But I'm saying not even just our own activities,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: but I'm loving doing the activities with the three boys
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: and I think that that's what is really different. Sorry,
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's a fucking psychology session, but this
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: is another episode. We've got to entitle it one and done.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I feel like what's different for us is that our
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: sons see each other every single day, which I know
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: a lot of people were initially shocked by when they
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: heard that. We catch up every day with them. We
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: are so lucky though. I actually, I do not know,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: like mums listening who have a child and they don't
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: have either a really strong friendship group of other mums.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I don't know how you do it. Yeah. I actually
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: said to my husband, if it wasn't for having a
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: daily activity where I could go and see Kate and
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Amy and get out of the house and get the
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: boys together, I think I'd be driven absolutely crazy because
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: it's just the mundaneness of it all. And Again, it's
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: so beautiful to engage with them and to interact with them,
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: but you can only do that for so long in
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: your own house. Actually, I mean, I've got to point
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: out though, the other thing I think which can keep
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: you sane is pop your AirPods in and you can
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: only do this for a certain amount of time because
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: obviously once your kid is having full blown conversations with you,
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: you can't just be on the phone. But like popping
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: your AirPod in and like, you know, I'll go out
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: in the backyard with Harry and kick a ball around
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: or whatever and I'll be talking to you on the phone.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: So even if you don't have someone that's close by
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: that you can hang out with. Also, I've got to
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: say podcast is such a form of escapism. I can't
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: listen to them when I'm with Luca because he's at
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: the very clingy stage where, you know, like they've got
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: such a short attention span. Read me a book. Let's
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: play with this. I want to go over here. So
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I can't actually do that right now. Okay. Anyway, I
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: feel like we've probably gone around in a few circles
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: with that question, but thank you for sending that one in.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: Someone else wrote, how do you make time for your
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: relationship when the kids take up everything? I think that
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: that is one of the biggest struggles in the first year.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: I think you've almost got to drop any expectations of,
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: you know, date nights and, you know, time for the
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: two of you because you're in survival mode. Like I
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: feel like a date night is watching a nice– australian
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: drama on the couch having some takeaway together like i
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: don't for we had our wedding anniversary i don't think
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: we didn't go out at all we just went down
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to the beach that day and had some lunch as
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: a family we also celebrate at the anniversary of our
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: first date again didn't go out didn't do anything but
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: now this year i would like to do something i
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: feel like that's when it's time to invest like pull
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: back into your own cup and maybe do something but
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: even as you said like you don't necessarily have to
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: go out like i love nothing more then, okay, so
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: this is what we would do on say a Saturday
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: night if we were looking to just sort of like
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: not sit on our asses watching Netflix, but basically. Is
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: there anything else to do about that? Well, no, this
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: is kind of, it basically, actually it is this, but it's,
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: so we've got an outdoor area where we've got like
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: a couch outside and a TV and we've, Dale, I
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: think like a year ago, he put in this fireplace.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: What is it called? It's not a fireplace. Oh, a
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: combustion heater. Combustion heater. And there's something about even though
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: we're sitting outside just metres away from our lounge room,
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: it seems like a different experience because we're sitting outside,
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: we've got the combustion heater on and we watched all
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: of the Harry Potter movies together but we would either
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: do like we'd cook a barbecue for dinner or we'd
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: get my favourite pasta go-go for dinner and you would just, again,
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: talking about romanticising, there was something about like getting all
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: the blankets out and being all cozy outside that seemed
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: almost like a date, but it wasn't. Since Luke has
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: been born, we've been to two weddings together and they
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: were really nice to get dressed up and actually have
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: dinner together. And we said it was just even weird
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: us driving in Brandon's ute because he actually didn't have
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: a baby seat in there for so long. And I
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: was like, I haven't even driven in your new car
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: with you. Like this is crazy. I also think it's
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: really important to have other things than just your child
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to talk about. Cause I was finding myself when I
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: was so in the trenches, that was, all I had
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: to talk about. And I was even like, you know,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: you can hear yourself speaking out loud and you're like,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: shut the fuck up. And today their poo looked like this. Yeah.
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: And so Brandon and I, we really love talking about
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: like home reno projects, like just something to get excited
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: about and something else to talk about. That's so true.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, poor Dale, he's been in all these TikToks
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: that I've been putting up recently, but it's been such
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: a fun activity to do with him. Like we've been
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: laughing and stuff. So as you said, like it's, finding
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: an activity away from just being a parent is really
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: good also I said today we haven't done this yet
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: but I want to start going out for like early
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: dinners with Harry so where we where we live there's
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: actually a pub that's not that far from us and
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I said we should walk over there and just like
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: have a have an early dinner and have Hazzy has
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: his meal then as well or it's my husband's birthday
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: coming up and we feel like we have fallen into
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: this trap of being like we're not doing dinners we're
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: gonna get the boys home and then we'll relax afterwards
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: and I said to Brandon He's now a bit older.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: So why don't we just take him out with us?
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: It doesn't matter if he goes to bed a little
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: bit later now. I don't think it's going to affect
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: things too much. It's more when you have to get
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: them to sleep at other people's houses. That's the stressful thing. Yeah, exactly.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: Someone also asked, do you ever feel guilty wanting time
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: away from your kids? I think as soon as you're
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: a mum, the guilt kicks in over anything. Like I'm
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: feeling so guilty about us going away this weekend even
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: though I've, you know, not spent one night away from him.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: But do you know what's shit? Like men don't seem
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: to have that. I've said to Dale previously, oh, do
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: you feel guilty when you go to work or anything?
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: And he's like, no. And I, it is a hormonal thing.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Like I've looked into it. It's, it's unfortunately, it's just
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: something that women have that men don't get. I just
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: feel guilty all the time. Yeah. Because I love him
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: so much. I'm like, I must be around him every second.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: I must see him all the time. Actually, that being said,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: I used to feel really guilty when we'd go out
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: to dinner at night, even though all the boys were
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: asleep and everything. I'd always have my baby monitor on watching.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I'd be really on edge. And now I don't do
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: it because I trust that. Well, not that I didn't
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: trust Al, but, you know, you trust that he's fine.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: And it's kind of good to switch off. So because
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: you need it. You need to actually switch off from
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: being a parent. It's because for some reason you get
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: it in your head that it's selfish to want to
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: do anything that's for you and not for your child.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: Is that normal? Well, maybe that's just me. I don't know. No,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: I agree with you, but I'm saying– Does everyone feel
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: like that? I think a lot of people would. I
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: also think that's a really important one to help mums
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: feel like themselves again is making time to spend with
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: your friends. The difficulty is I think that it's impossible
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: to do it if your child's not sleeping. That's what's
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: really tough because then there's a lot of guilt or
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: extra guilt and burden on the other parent who's got
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: to stay home with them. Yeah, definitely. But I think
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: that you will get there. Yeah. Once your child starts
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: sleeping all right, you can make the time to go out,
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: see your friends. Now, someone else has written, what's something
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: you swore you'd never do as a parent, but now
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: do all the time? I never thought I'd be that
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: annoying person that shares a lot of photos of their
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: child on social media. I remember paying, well, not paying
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: people out, but being like, oh my God, who wants
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: to see this? Skip, skip, skip, skip, skip. And now
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: I'm like, my child is so beautiful. I want everyone
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: to see how gorgeous they are and how special they are.
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I know, you're so delusional because you're like, oh, but
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: this is cute. Like that other stuff I've seen, like pfft. Yeah, pfft,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: that's just a normal child. But to be, okay, to
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: be fair though, the other day I was on Instagram
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: and a girl we both know, she and her partner
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: have had a baby, such a cute baby. Oh, I
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: know who told me, he is gorgeous. And she put
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: up a video of him walking for the first time
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: in shoes. Oh, I saw that, yeah. And I was like, oh,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: my God, don't look at this. This is so cute.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And I've not even met the baby. I feel like
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: I know him. It just was so cute. And I
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: was like, double tap. That is gorgeous. I think you
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: care once you are a mom. Yes, because I was like, oh,
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: that is so beautiful. You get it then. You get
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: it because you also think, oh, it's going to be close.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Where did I get that from? Or is it posting etiquette?
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Because the video was cute. But sometimes, you know, when
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: people share like, It's like a photo dump but it's
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: like photos of all these children. I feel like that's me. No,
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: but it's like there's like six kids and they're all
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: just standing in a line. It's got to be a
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: cute photo. It's not particularly cute or funny. It's a criteria.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: The photo has to be fucking cute. Or the video
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: has to be funny. Yeah, that's right. Someone else wrote,
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: do you ever feel like you're failing as a mum
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: even when you're doing your best all the time? I
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: feel like social media sets you up to feel like
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: you're failing. I see these people making these comments. lavish
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: meals for the baby and they've got those bowls you
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: know those plates bento bowls no not the bento well
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: that but you know the silicone bowls and they've got
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: all the compartments and they've got so many different things
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: in the compartments there's always lots of fruit and different
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: things chopped up and I'm like fuck well for dinner
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I mainly feed him risone you know broccoli and something
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: risone I don't have all these different things I heard
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: someone talking about those plates and said it's actually bad
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: because you shouldn't feel the urge to fill every section
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: and that's why sometimes people can maybe give like bad
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: food that they shouldn't, like they have this urge, I
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: must fill this section of the plate. I think I'm
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: not a terribly organised person so I always feel like, oh,
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: you know, you need to be better at having these
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: clothes all ready to go or folding them away perfectly or,
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: you know, all of those things. But then I think
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: about it, I'm like, no, I am a good mum. Yeah,
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I'll just say that you are a good mum. It's funny,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: when you said that I thought, oh, I never feel
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: like a bad mum because But I feel. You said
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: you feel like you're failing sometimes. Oh, sorry. Sorry. But
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: I don't feel like I'm failing because I look at
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Harry and I am proud of the time I've spent
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: with him and everything he knows and the fact that,
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: you know, I've put effort into his food. I mean,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: I know what you mean about the food, though. Like,
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: for example, I try and bulk make stuff, but I think, oh,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: does he have as much variety as what I'm seeing
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: on TikTok? And I just don't think that that's necessarily
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: real life. That's the thing. The constant comparison is hard.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: But I mean, sometimes I think it's just me personally
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: not having enough self-esteem to be like, no, you are
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: doing a good job. And also, you know what? You
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: can only do so much. That's what I say all
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: the time. I'm like, you can only do so much.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I think it's because you just care so much about
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: them and they're your whole world that you just want
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: to be the best for them. I've got into that
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: stage now where it's sort of like, I don't care
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: about myself, like the safety of myself or whatever. I
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: just care about him. Like for example, the other day
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I was, Harry loves going on wheelbarrow rides and I
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: was like, Oh yep. He's got sun cream on. He's
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: got his hat on. He's got everything. And I was like, Oh,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: I don't have my hat. Oh, I don't have a,
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: Oh shit. I don't want to. And I was like,
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: Oh well. And then I'm like, wait a sec. No,
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: you need to look after yourself because you want to
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: be here for Harry. Like, isn't that terrible? It is
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: really hard. Cause you do feel like you fall to
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: the last person on the list to look after at
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: times when You really shouldn't. You can't pour from an
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: empty cup. That's right, babe. You can't pour a Fridge
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: Ziggy from an empty cup. Now someone else said, what's
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: the hardest part of motherhood that nobody really prepares you for?
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. It's how all consuming it is. That's
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: what I'd never realized. Or relentless. I think that's a
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: good word. Relentless was my year of 2025 being in
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: the newborn stage. Is that the Kylie Jenner quote? I'm
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: just learning and it's all about learning. And yeah, I
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: learned a lot in 2025. Yeah. I just think that
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: you don't truly understand it until you're in it. And
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: I just think that that first year is so tough,
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: but I wish more people spoke about how much better
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: it gets and how much you're going to enjoy it.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: And when their little personality comes out and they're just,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: you know, I just love who Luca is now. And
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: I think no one prepares you for the fact that
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: your newborn's not going to give you much. Yeah. That's
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: what I've realized. And also I think no one prepares
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: you for how long the days are, but short the
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: months and years are. I also think no one prepares
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: you for how much you're going to love them. Yeah.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: And just how obsessed with them you're going to be
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: and that you're so tired by the end of the night,
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: but then all you want to do is look at
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: photos of them and just send them to everyone you know.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: I said to Dale last night, I was like, God,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Harry could ask me to do anything in the world
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: and I would just do it. Like I would just
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: do anything. I can see why some boy mums are
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: so toxic. Yeah. Because they're just, oh, they just make
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: you melt. Like one minute Harry's pulling my hair, then
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: he's giving me a hug and I'm like, oh, I
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: just love you. You know, there's people who are like,
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I just want to eat them up. That's me now.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Like I just sniff him and engulf him. Sometimes at
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: night time, like obviously you're absolutely loving getting time to relax.
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: But then I look at the monitor and I'm like,
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: I'm missing out on spending time with him. I'm not
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: waking him up. You're like, I miss them. And then
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: they move and like. But they're just so funny. They are. Again,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe ask us in a couple of months
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: time when they start getting into the terrible twos category. Yeah.
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: Someone else has asked, what are your top three baby products? Okay,
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: this might sound superficial, but one piece of advice for
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: any mums who want to feel like themselves, check out
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: the Muse edition. This is not sponsored. I wish it was.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: They have the most aesthetic looking baby furniture, bags, fucking
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: pram liners. What the hell is that? Bags, shoes. Bags, shoes. Oh,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: my God. So I got the pram liner. It was
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: in that, what is it called, hood something? Anyway, it's.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Like the little squares, is that what? It's kind of
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: like the David Jones thing. The little square. No, it's
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: in David Jones. Yeah, yeah. Whatever it's called. And I
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: got it in beige and white. To go with my.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: To go with your beige nursery. That's right. And I
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: just love their stuff. I loved having a baby bag
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: that felt like me. You know what I mean? Because
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: you're already in this whirlwind of not. I love that
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: it's like recommend the baby products and it's like things
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: that are yours that are beige. I think they mean
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: things like, for example. No, no, I know. But I'm
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: just saying that I think that that's one way that
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: you can feel like yourself is by having things that
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: don't look like kiddie things. Like everyone asked me where
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I got my playpen from. That was one of the
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: things I knew I immediately wanted because obviously we have
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: a dog and I didn't want them to come face
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: to face as a newborn. And it's this wooden, beautiful playpen.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: It goes with all of the furniture in my house
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: because no offense to Kate, she had the fucking ugliest
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: playpen I think I've ever seen. They used to call
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: it the forest and it was like this big plastic,
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: ugly reindeer. Sorry, Rhys, if you're listening to this too,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you didn't pick it. That was savage. Sorry.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: Was it not ugly? Well, she ended up getting the
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: same one as you later. It was a bit of
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: an eyesore. Actually, I think it was actually quite popular.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: Do you know what? No offense if anyone has it.
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I'm getting into the stage where I think the playpen
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: needs to go. It's just harboring all these toys. I
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: agree with you, Soph, that it's really good to have
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: stuff that you're not going to like hate in the house.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: But the other thing is at some point you just
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: have to let the toys take over your house. It
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: gets to this point where you're like, I don't care
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: if the house looks aesthetic. I just want my child
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: to be entertained. So you come to my house and
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: you're like, why aren't there any toys in your lounge
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: room and dining area? And it is because our dog
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: would steal them. So we'd keep them in the playpen,
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: very contained. But no, that is a good point. You'd
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: rather your child be entertained. I really want to get
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: a water station. Again, this is more toddler stuff. So yeah,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: I was going to say baby stuff. I would highly
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: recommend a baby bouncer. I had the baby Bjorn bouncer,
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: which was kindly gifted. And it was a lifesaver. Like
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: this thing was my most used device. It's funny because
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of like, I think your kid
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: either really loves to be in a bouncer or it
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: hates it. But Harry loved being in his bouncer. You
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: would always send me these snapshots of Harry. in the bouncer.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: And I was really upset because I think your child
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: has to be over a certain amount of weight. I
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: can't remember what it is. Luca was always too small
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: for it. And it took him so long to be
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: able to go on the bouncer. And then by that stage,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: he wasn't really into it. One of my essential baby
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: items is the snotty gobbler. We've spoken about the legend
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: of the snotty gobbler a lot. It's, it's called a
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: snotty boss or there's other, our mum accidentally called it
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: a snotty gobbler once. And we were like, maybe we
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: should copyright it and bring it up. There's other versions
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: of it on Amazon and stuff, but it's literally a
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: snot sucker. And I didn't realize how important this thing
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: would be. I was, my sister-in-law gave it to us
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: in a little pack for our baby shower. She got
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: all of the things that she found really useful because
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: her son's four months old and The stuff was great
• 30:22
  Speaker 1: because I remember at first Brandon opened it and he's like,
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is this? And we're like, oh my God,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: best thing to get. There's nothing worse than your child
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: being all blocked up. Another thing that was a lifesaver
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: for me when doing formula feeds was the Tommy Tippy
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: prep machine. Oh yeah. Oh my God. We were given
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: this by one of Dale's friends. I remember it was
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: like at my baby shower. They're like, please take this.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: This isn't the present, but this is actually really good.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: We could sell it, but we just want you to
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: have it. And I was like, oh, okay. Not fully understanding.
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: what a godsend this gift was. It's like a little
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: coffee maker. It is. I mean, it just shoots out
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: the water at a perfect temperature every time. Because I
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: remember when we came home from the hospital, we were
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: getting boiling water and pouring it straight into the formula
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: and then having to like put it in the freezer
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: and wait for it to cool down. And it was
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: hell because Harry would be like, ah! This thing, the
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: bottle is ready instantly. Another essential is that infamous Fisher-Price
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: piano thing. You know what I mean? It's like, you
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: could be a purple monkey on a purple tea. I
• 31:20
  Speaker 1: feel like... You almost need to have one. It's like
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: a rite of passage as a new mum. For that
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: song to just drive you insane. Because it's like it
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: is fantastic but it's also that's music. Oh, it's anxiety-inducing.
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: But it was good for them to have something to
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: do because it's got like little toys over the arch
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: and they can, you know, try and move and such
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: and do a bit of tummy time. The other thing
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: which I didn't mind spending quite a bit of money
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: on was a good chair in the nursery because Like
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: I kept seeing a lot of chairs advertised. I ended
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: up buying one of the El Tutto chairs and it
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: was worth every penny. Like it is so comfortable. The
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: only thing I wish I did was spend a bit
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: more money so I could get the, like the electric
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: one where the chair goes up automatically because I've got
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: that release one. And so basically if you put up
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: the footstand, if you then, if they then fall asleep
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: on you, you have to like kick the footrest back
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: in and it makes a really loud noise. So spend
• 32:16
  Speaker 1: that little bit more. I got kind of gifted one
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: from Furniture Forum and it's this beautiful boucle white rocker.
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: It's very aesthetic. Very aesthetic. Very me. Very Luca's favorite
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: color now, white and beige. And I just honestly think
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: that the chair is so important because you spend so
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: much time on it. I find it so comfortable when
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: I'm getting to sleep. I just lie back. And you
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: could literally fall asleep in those things. It's also a
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: great spot to then go on and read your kids'
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: books because they just feel so safe and comfortable there.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: But I would highly recommend those rockers as well. Yeah, well,
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: I think that is all we've got time for today.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening to another episode of
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: The Mums Group. If you did enjoy this style of episode,
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: let us know. And send us in any more questions
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: that we might have missed. This episode was recorded on
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: the traditional land of the Kaurna people of the Adelaide Plains.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: We pay respect to elders past and present.