Latest / Unstoppable You / What It Really Means to be Unstoppable? The Truth About Success, Ambition & Losing Yourself
Transcript
- Bree Katulak (00:00): Parents were yelling, kids were running. It was total chaos. And then suddenly it wasn't. The ball came to me, I kicked it, and it went in the goal. I just ran straight into my dad's arms. And in that moment it was truly everything knowing I had won and knowing that I made him so proud. That was success to me and that feeling has stuck with me for a long time, even up to this day. I felt unstoppable. Hey, I'm Bree and this is Unstoppable You, the podcast for women ready to stop choosing between their dreams, family and personal growth. (00:46): Welcome to Unstoppable You. This podcast is for anyone who's ever felt like they're trying to do it all, to be everything to everyone and still wondering why does this not feel like success? I'm Bree. I'm a CEO. I'm a mom of four, a wife, and someone who has spent most of my life chasing what I thought success was supposed to look like. I'm someone who naturally goes towards the hard things. I charge hard for it. I love change. I love a challenge and I have a tendency to push myself right to the edge. Sometimes my family would say I push myself past it. I'm wildly competitive in a lot of things that don't even make sense. Whether it's beating my four-year-old at a game of trouble, yes, you heard that right. Running faster than the person that's on the treadmill next to me at Orangetheory or lifting even just two pounds more than I did the week before at the gym. (01:54): Every little challenge matters. I'm terrified of heights, but I will take risks in other areas of my life without thinking twice. But I've also had to learn that being driven and being fulfilled are not the same thing. And more than anything, I really do care about helping people become the best version of what they are capable of because I'm honestly still trying to figure that out too. And if I'm being honest about everything, I got really good at achieving what externally looks like success over the years. I mean, I became CFO at the age of 37 and that was driving a lot of change throughout an organization that had typically just been stuck in their ways previously. I was getting really meaningful board level roles at organizations that are nationwide that truly do impact our communities day in and day out. Then I was promoted to CEO. (03:08): This was something that I never thought I would even be able to achieve in my lifetime and that was at the age of 38. I had so much learning to do. I had a finance background, but I learned about operations. I learned about commercial levels of the business and I was pushing myself to new heights. I started to learn how to tell stories and how to captivate an audience through presentations. And more than everything that I just mentioned, the best part is that I have four beautiful healthy children that are really, honestly, well behaved. They are being successful academically and they have a lot of friends and are involved in activities in the community. Plus one thing that I love most of all is giving back to people in the community. I'm still able to participate in book clubs with my friends. I'm still able to organize a blood drive for neighbors that unfortunately ran into a bout of cancer to help out. (04:14): Life is about giving back. Life is about the impact that we make. I'm also looking forward to helping my children in their journey through their faith and making sure they have a sound moral compass as they continue to grow up and develop who they are. But somewhere along the way, I did realize in this journey that I needed to redefine success. This podcast is about that journey, not perfection, not having it all figured out, but becoming unstoppable in the way that actually matters. For a long time, success was really, really simple for me and it meant winning. It meant standing on a stage at the State Deca competition in downtown Indianapolis as a high school senior next to my teammate knowing that we had put everything that we had into our specific business plan that we presented at that competition. The lights on the stage were hot and shining down and hitting your face, making everything in the moment totally feels surreal. (05:29): You could hear the crowd, but at the same time, everything started to get quiet and fade away. Then they called the third place winner. It wasn't us. Then second place and it's still not us, but for a split second, my heart totally sank because second place, the team that won, was the team that won first place last year. And then with the drum roll, they called first and it was our names. And all at once it totally hit the adrenaline, the excitement and utter disbelief, the hugs, the yelling, and even some screams on stage, which I'll admit definitely came from me. That's what success looked like to me, especially back then. And what's interesting is that feeling was not new, that soccer game. It wasn't just about the goal. It was about the feeling, the excitement, the pride. Going back to that summer day and seeing my dad's face, knowing that I made him so proud and seeing the huge smile on his face, feeling his arms wrapped so tightly around me and feeling my legs swinging around as he spun me across the soccer field. (06:54): It gave me a high that time totally meant success to me and for a long time I never questioned that definition. Success to me was tied to achievement, to recognition from others. And honestly, it was tied to love. Like I said before, that definition followed me up until this day, but success honestly has really evolved over time. And as I've gotten older, that definition didn't go away, but it just got bigger. Winning became titles. It became promotions. It became leading teams and seeing their success. It became driving results and I leaned in really hard. That meant there were countless late nights and really early mornings where people thought I was absolutely insane for getting up at 4:00 AM because it was honestly the only time of day where I didn't have people expecting something from me. It looked like skipping a ton of workouts, racing the clock to pick up daycare so that I didn't get charged that extra $15 for being late for a minute. (08:15): And worst of all, missing those bedtimes so that I could be at yet another networking event, always moving, always trying to keep up, constantly feeling behind. I'm sure no one else has ever felt that way, but at the same time, I absolutely loved the hustle. I love building. I love leading. I love the challenge. But here's the part that I don't think we talk about enough. We can be winning on paper and still something just feels off unbalanced because success when it's only defined externally, eventually it starts to feel empty internally. And for me, that shift really started coming out in the small moments of life, like opening up my laptop at work and finding Post-it notes from my kids saying, "You're the best mommy, but I wish you didn't always work." Or sitting at a baseball game and not really being there, scrolling through contracts on my phone, thinking about how am I going to orchestrate the next strategy session for work or realizing just thinking about always what's coming next. (09:43): And I really sat back and thought I'm missing moments that I'm never going to be able to get back. And that's when I started asking myself, "What am I optimizing my life for? More achievements or more presence, more recognition or more connection with my kids, my husband and myself. Success is honestly evolving for me. It's not just about what I build, but it's about how I live while I'm building it. It's being present, like going on a walk with my 14-year-old daughter and actually being there, leaving my phone so that I don't think about the next email, but truly listening to her and understanding her world fully. How many opportunities do we really get with our 14-year-old children that think their parents are the dumbest thing ever? I need to capitalize on those moments when she asks to spend time with me. It's creating space for what truly matters and being willing to say no, even when it's really uncomfortable. (11:04): I'm the type of person that loves to say yes so saying no makes me uncomfortable. It's not doing what's expected of me all the time from other people, but choosing what actually fulfills me. It's taking risks that align with who I am, who I really am and trying new things like this podcast, building something grounded in what I care about, which is helping people realize their full potential and being present for my family in the moments that really matter for them because that's the foundation for everything. Like this podcast, this is not something that I have to do, but it is something I really want to do and I'm excited about it. And that's a very, very different kind of success from how I grew up thinking success was defined to be. When people hear unstoppable, they think hustle. They think hard charging and always getting achievements. (12:19): They think pushing through barriers. They think never slowing down, but that's not what it means to me anymore because I've lived that version and I'm going to call it the corporate version. I'm trying to be everything at work, at home, for everyone. And then there's a moment where you hit a wall, where you realize I can't keep doing it the same way. Something that that makes me think of is everyone talks about the Sunday scaries, that pit in your stomach when you start thinking about the week ahead, but this time it really felt different to me. It wasn't just Sunday, it was all the time. It was showing up at home after work, after a lot of travel for work, or after a series of events completely exhausted and drained and realizing I wasn't giving my family the best version of myself. In fact, I think I was actually at times giving my family the people I care about most the worst version of myself and that hurt. (13:35): There was actually even a morning before a board meeting, I woke up already drained after a full night of sleep, replaying everything that I hadn't done, everything I might miss in the meeting. And I had this thought, what version of Bri needs to show up today? And that question really did stop me in my tracks as I was getting ready that morning because in that moment I realized I didn't know anymore and I might actually get a little emotional here, but that was the first time I realized I had lost her. I lost Bri. I had spent so much time performing, adapting, and being what was needed by everyone else that I had lost track of who I really was. And that was that kind of moment I've realized now does not mean you're weak. It means you're aware. And to me, being unstoppable now means something very different. (14:46): It means you don't quit on your life, but you're willing to change how you live it. We get to redefine success. We are willing to choose what actually matters to us. That's the important part, not to everyone else, but you get to decide what success looks like. It's much harder but much braver and this is the version of Unstoppable that I want to talk about today. So here's what I want to leave you with, not a big, overwhelming life overhaul, just on question. What does success actually mean to you? And I want you to really look inside yourself for this one. Don't rush to an answer, but take some time to think about what actually matters. What does success actually mean to you, not what you've been told it should be, not what it looks like on paper. That's the easy part, but what it feels like in your life and if you don't know yet, that's okay. (16:00): Just start noticing, noticing how you feel. Pay attention to those moments that bring you real joy. The ones that feel effortless present and aligned. I'm going to go back to the story of going on a walk with my 14-year-old daughter. That to me brought me pure joy that is hard to replicate and I wish I could bottle up. And also notice the opposite moments. That's important too. What drains you? What creates stress? What pulls you away from who you want to be? Because this awareness, it creates patterns and then patterns create clarity in our life. And the moment that you define that for yourself, that's when you start becoming unstoppable. And honestly, this is just the beginning. In the next episodes, which I'm really excited about, you'll hear from badass high performing women, each with their own definition of success and that's the best part. (17:12): Their version of what being unstoppable means to them because it might be vastly different from what I think being unstoppable is. You'll even hear from my oldest daughter what it's like to grow up with an unstoppable mom and how she defines success in her own life. And I can't wait to share this journey with all of you. This is your life. Define it, live it, become unstoppable. Thank you for listening to Unstoppable You. If this episode was helpful, I'd love to know. Connect with me on LinkedIn at BreeKatulak. That's K-A-T-U-L-A-K on LinkedIn and shoot me a message. This show is for you. Be Unstoppable. I'll see you next time.