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Tonya Meisenbach: Surviving the Unthinkable & What Happened Next · The Iconic Midlife with Roxy Manning

• 0:00
  And
• 0:00
  I
• 0:00
  remember
• 0:00
  getting
• 0:00
  to
• 0:01
  that
• 0:01
  corner
• 0:01
  and
• 0:02
  looking
• 0:02
  back
• 0:02
  at
• 0:02
  him
• 0:02
  and
• 0:03
  saying,
• 0:03
  no.
• 0:04
  And
• 0:04
  he
• 0:04
  threw
• 0:05
  a
• 0:05
  Zippo
• 0:06
  at
• 0:06
  me
• 0:06
  that
• 0:07
  we
• 0:07
  had
• 0:07
  just
• 0:07
  bought
• 0:08
  in
• 0:08
  Switzerland.
• 0:08
  It
• 0:09
  was
• 0:09
  red
• 0:09
  with
• 0:09
  the
• 0:10
  Swiss
• 0:10
  flag
• 0:11
  with
• 0:11
  the
• 0:11
  point
• 0:11
  cross.
• 0:11
  And
• 0:12
  then
• 0:13
  I'm
• 0:13
  in
• 0:13
  flint.
• 0:14
  And
• 0:14
  I
• 0:14
  didn't
• 0:15
  know
• 0:15
  why,
• 0:15
  but
• 0:15
  I
• 0:15
  felt
• 0:16
  more
• 0:16
  confident
• 0:17
  than
• 0:17
  I
• 0:17
  did
• 0:17
  before
• 0:17
  I
• 0:18
  got
• 0:18
  burned.
• 0:18
  Isn't
• 0:19
  that
• 0:19
  amazing?
• 0:19
  I
• 0:19
  didn't
• 0:20
  know.
• 0:20
  Our
• 0:20
  truth
• 0:21
  is
• 0:21
  our
• 0:21
  power.
• 0:21
  When
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  speak
• 0:22
  out
• 0:23
  and
• 0:23
  you
• 0:23
  say
• 0:24
  whatever
• 0:24
  it
• 0:24
  is,
• 0:24
  no
• 0:25
  matter
• 0:25
  how
• 0:25
  ugly
• 0:26
  or
• 0:26
  dirty
• 0:26
  or
• 0:26
  whatever
• 0:27
  it
• 0:27
  is,
• 0:28
  there's
• 0:28
  nothing
• 0:28
  anybody
• 0:29
  can
• 0:29
  ever
• 0:29
  do
• 0:29
  to
• 0:29
  you.
• 0:30
  I
• 0:30
  want
• 0:30
  to
• 0:30
  tell
• 0:30
  the
• 0:30
  story
• 0:31
  again
• 0:31
  as
• 0:31
  loudly
• 0:32
  and
• 0:32
  proudly
• 0:33
  as
• 0:33
  I
• 0:33
  can.
• 0:33
  Also,
• 0:34
  it's
• 0:34
  not
• 0:34
  just
• 0:34
  a
• 0:34
  story
• 0:34
  of
• 0:35
  what
• 0:35
  happened.
• 0:35
  It's
• 0:35
  the
• 0:35
  story
• 0:36
  of
• 0:36
  what
• 0:36
  happened
• 0:36
  next.
• 0:44
  Hello,
• 0:45
  everyone,
• 0:45
  and
• 0:45
  welcome
• 0:46
  back
• 0:46
  to
• 0:46
  the
• 0:46
  iconic
• 0:47
  midlife.
• 0:47
  I'm
• 0:48
  your
• 0:48
  host,
• 0:48
  Roxy
• 0:49
  Manning.
• 0:50
  One
• 0:50
  of
• 0:50
  the
• 0:50
  things
• 0:50
  I
• 0:51
  believe
• 0:51
  most
• 0:51
  deeply
• 0:52
  is
• 0:52
  that
• 0:52
  life
• 0:52
  doesn't
• 0:53
  always
• 0:53
  ask
• 0:53
  our
• 0:53
  permission
• 0:54
  before
• 0:55
  it
• 0:55
  changes
• 0:55
  us.
• 0:56
  Sometimes
• 0:57
  those
• 0:57
  changes
• 0:58
  come
• 0:58
  gradually
• 0:59
  through
• 0:59
  aging,
• 1:00
  motherhood,
• 1:00
  divorce,
• 1:01
  illness,
• 1:02
  or
• 1:02
  loss.
• 1:03
  Other
• 1:03
  times
• 1:03
  they
• 1:04
  happen
• 1:04
  in
• 1:04
  an
• 1:04
  instant.
• 1:05
  Today's
• 1:06
  guest
• 1:06
  knows
• 1:06
  better
• 1:07
  than
• 1:07
  almost
• 1:07
  anyone.
• 1:08
  In
• 1:08
  2018,
• 1:09
  Tania
• 1:09
  Meisenbach
• 1:10
  survived
• 1:11
  an
• 1:11
  unimaginable
• 1:12
  act
• 1:12
  of
• 1:12
  domestic
• 1:13
  violence.
• 1:13
  When
• 1:13
  her
• 1:14
  then
• 1:14
  husband
• 1:15
  set
• 1:15
  her
• 1:15
  on
• 1:16
  fire.
• 1:16
  She
• 1:17
  suffered
• 1:17
  devastating
• 1:18
  burns
• 1:18
  that
• 1:19
  forever
• 1:19
  changed
• 1:19
  her
• 1:20
  appearance.
• 1:21
  But
• 1:21
  instead
• 1:21
  of
• 1:21
  allowing
• 1:22
  that
• 1:22
  tragedy
• 1:22
  to
• 1:23
  define
• 1:23
  her,
• 1:23
  she
• 1:24
  chose
• 1:24
  to
• 1:24
  redefine
• 1:25
  beauty
• 1:25
  itself.
• 1:27
  Today,
• 1:27
  Tanya
• 1:27
  is
• 1:28
  a
• 1:28
  model,
• 1:28
  media
• 1:29
  personality,
• 1:30
  advocate,
• 1:30
  entrepreneur,
• 1:31
  and
• 1:31
  the
• 1:32
  founder
• 1:32
  of
• 1:32
  Burn
• 1:32
  Beauty
• 1:33
  2018,
• 1:34
  where
• 1:34
  she's
• 1:35
  inspiring
• 1:35
  thousands
• 1:36
  of
• 1:36
  people
• 1:36
  to
• 1:36
  embrace
• 1:37
  their
• 1:37
  scars,
• 1:38
  both
• 1:38
  visible
• 1:38
  and
• 1:39
  invisible,
• 1:40
  and
• 1:40
  recognize
• 1:40
  that
• 1:41
  resilience
• 1:41
  can
• 1:41
  be
• 1:42
  one
• 1:42
  of
• 1:42
  the
• 1:42
  most
• 1:42
  beautiful
• 1:43
  things
• 1:43
  we
• 1:44
  ever
• 1:44
  wear.
• 1:45
  But
• 1:45
  what
• 1:46
  strikes
• 1:46
  struck
• 1:46
  me
• 1:46
  most
• 1:47
  about
• 1:47
  Tonya
• 1:48
  isn't
• 1:48
  simply
• 1:48
  what
• 1:49
  she
• 1:49
  survived.
• 1:50
  It's
• 1:50
  who
• 1:50
  she
• 1:51
  became
• 1:51
  because
• 1:52
  of
• 1:52
  it.
• 1:53
  This
• 1:53
  isn't
• 1:53
  just
• 1:53
  a
• 1:54
  conversation
• 1:54
  about
• 1:55
  trauma.
• 1:55
  It's
• 1:56
  a
• 1:56
  conversation
• 1:56
  about
• 1:57
  identity,
• 1:57
  confidence,
• 1:58
  reinvention,
• 1:59
  and
• 1:59
  finding
• 2:00
  the
• 2:00
  courage
• 2:01
  to
• 2:01
  love
• 2:01
  yourself
• 2:02
  after
• 2:02
  life
• 2:03
  changes
• 2:03
  everything.
• 2:04
  I
• 2:04
  hope
• 2:04
  you'll
• 2:05
  listen
• 2:05
  all
• 2:05
  the
• 2:05
  way
• 2:06
  through
• 2:06
  because
• 2:06
  I
• 2:07
  have
• 2:07
  a
• 2:07
  feeling
• 2:08
  this
• 2:08
  conversation
• 2:09
  is
• 2:09
  going
• 2:09
  to
• 2:09
  stay
• 2:09
  with
• 2:10
  you
• 2:10
  long
• 2:10
  after
• 2:11
  it
• 2:11
  ends.
• 2:12
  Here's
• 2:13
  my
• 2:13
  conversation
• 2:13
  with
• 2:14
  Tanya
• 2:14
  Meisenbach.
• 2:15
  Tanya,
• 2:15
  welcome
• 2:16
  to
• 2:16
  the
• 2:16
  iconic
• 2:17
  Midlife.
• 2:17
  I'm
• 2:17
  so
• 2:17
  happy
• 2:18
  to
• 2:18
  have
• 2:18
  you
• 2:18
  here.
• 2:18
  Thank
• 2:19
  you
• 2:19
  so
• 2:19
  much
• 2:19
  for
• 2:19
  coming.
• 2:20
  Thank
• 2:20
  you
• 2:20
  so
• 2:20
  much
• 2:21
  for
• 2:21
  having
• 2:21
  me.
• 2:22
  So
• 2:22
  I
• 2:22
  wanted
• 2:22
  to
• 2:22
  dive
• 2:23
  right
• 2:23
  into
• 2:23
  your
• 2:23
  story
• 2:23
  because
• 2:24
  I
• 2:24
  think
• 2:24
  it
• 2:24
  is
• 2:24
  so
• 2:25
  important
• 2:25
  for
• 2:25
  our
• 2:25
  audience.
• 2:26
  You
• 2:26
  know,
• 2:26
  I
• 2:26
  think
• 2:26
  there's
• 2:27
  a
• 2:27
  lot
• 2:28
  to.
• 2:28
  To
• 2:29
  go
• 2:29
  through.
• 2:29
  So
• 2:31
  just
• 2:31
  to
• 2:31
  give
• 2:31
  people
• 2:32
  the
• 2:32
  background
• 2:32
  who
• 2:33
  are
• 2:33
  listening
• 2:33
  and
• 2:33
  watching,
• 2:35
  can
• 2:35
  you
• 2:36
  take
• 2:36
  us
• 2:36
  back
• 2:36
  to
• 2:36
  2018?
• 2:37
  Like,
• 2:38
  what
• 2:38
  do
• 2:38
  you
• 2:38
  remember
• 2:39
  from
• 2:39
  that
• 2:39
  day?
• 2:39
  Take
• 2:39
  me
• 2:39
  back
• 2:40
  a
• 2:40
  little
• 2:40
  bit.
• 2:41
  I
• 2:41
  can
• 2:42
  recall
• 2:42
  being
• 2:43
  upset
• 2:44
  the
• 2:44
  Whole
• 2:45
  day
• 2:45
  that
• 2:46
  morning.
• 2:47
  It's
• 2:47
  called
• 2:47
  ruminating
• 2:48
  when
• 2:48
  you
• 2:48
  know
• 2:49
  a
• 2:49
  narcissist
• 2:50
  is
• 2:50
  lying
• 2:50
  to
• 2:50
  you,
• 2:50
  which
• 2:51
  is
• 2:51
  what
• 2:51
  I
• 2:51
  was
• 2:51
  marrying
• 2:51
  to
• 2:52
  you.
• 2:52
  I
• 2:52
  was
• 2:52
  ruminating
• 2:53
  like,
• 2:54
  you
• 2:54
  know,
• 2:54
  you're
• 2:54
  trying
• 2:54
  to.
• 2:55
  Like
• 2:55
  your
• 2:55
  mind
• 2:55
  is
• 2:56
  like
• 2:57
  this.
• 2:57
  2
• 2:57
  and
• 2:58
  2
• 2:58
  does
• 2:58
  not
• 2:58
  equal
• 2:58
  4.
• 2:59
  So.
• 3:00
  And
• 3:00
  it
• 3:00
  was
• 3:01
  because
• 3:01
  I'd
• 3:01
  been
• 3:01
  angry
• 3:02
  with
• 3:02
  him
• 3:02
  for
• 3:02
  a
• 3:02
  few
• 3:03
  weeks.
• 3:03
  We
• 3:03
  had
• 3:04
  just
• 3:04
  renewed
• 3:04
  our
• 3:05
  vows
• 3:06
  in
• 3:06
  the
• 3:06
  French
• 3:06
  Alps.
• 3:07
  Our
• 3:07
  10
• 3:07
  year
• 3:08
  vow
• 3:08
  renewal
• 3:08
  a
• 3:09
  month
• 3:09
  before
• 3:11
  in
• 3:11
  the
• 3:11
  French
• 3:12
  Alps.
• 3:12
  A
• 3:12
  dream.
• 3:13
  But
• 3:13
  he
• 3:14
  disappeared
• 3:14
  while
• 3:14
  we
• 3:15
  were.
• 3:15
  Left
• 3:15
  me
• 3:16
  standing
• 3:16
  on
• 3:16
  the
• 3:16
  streets
• 3:16
  of
• 3:16
  Geneva,
• 3:17
  Switzerland,
• 3:17
  which
• 3:17
  is
• 3:18
  the
• 3:18
  same
• 3:18
  thing
• 3:18
  he
• 3:18
  would
• 3:18
  have
• 3:19
  done
• 3:19
  at
• 3:19
  home,
• 3:19
  just
• 3:20
  like
• 3:20
  disappear
• 3:20
  for
• 3:21
  the
• 3:21
  whole
• 3:21
  night.
• 3:22
  I
• 3:22
  was
• 3:22
  not
• 3:23
  forgiving
• 3:23
  him
• 3:24
  that
• 3:24
  time,
• 3:24
  you
• 3:25
  know,
• 3:25
  it
• 3:25
  had
• 3:25
  been
• 3:25
  15
• 3:26
  years.
• 3:27
  The
• 3:27
  kids
• 3:27
  had
• 3:28
  just
• 3:28
  moved
• 3:28
  out
• 3:29
  that
• 3:29
  month
• 3:29
  as
• 3:30
  well,
• 3:30
  while
• 3:30
  we
• 3:30
  were
• 3:30
  in
• 3:30
  the
• 3:31
  ounce.
• 3:31
  Cause
• 3:31
  they
• 3:31
  were,
• 3:31
  you
• 3:32
  know,
• 3:32
  old
• 3:32
  enough
• 3:33
  and
• 3:34
  both
• 3:34
  moved
• 3:35
  out.
• 3:35
  We
• 3:35
  were
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  the
• 3:36
  house
• 3:36
  alone.
• 3:37
  And
• 3:37
  I
• 3:38
  had
• 3:38
  started
• 3:39
  working
• 3:39
  as
• 3:39
  a
• 3:39
  realtor.
• 3:40
  So
• 3:40
  working
• 3:40
  outside
• 3:41
  of
• 3:41
  the
• 3:41
  house
• 3:41
  again
• 3:42
  with
• 3:42
  my
• 3:42
  own
• 3:42
  money.
• 3:43
  And
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  think
• 3:43
  he
• 3:43
  felt
• 3:44
  threatened.
• 3:44
  I
• 3:45
  didn't
• 3:45
  know
• 3:45
  it
• 3:45
  though,
• 3:46
  you
• 3:46
  know,
• 3:46
  that's
• 3:47
  the
• 3:47
  retrospect.
• 3:48
  What
• 3:48
  was
• 3:49
  going
• 3:49
  on
• 3:49
  that
• 3:49
  day
• 3:49
  was
• 3:50
  I
• 3:50
  was
• 3:50
  just
• 3:50
  angry.
• 3:51
  I
• 3:51
  was
• 3:51
  just,
• 3:52
  you
• 3:52
  know,
• 3:52
  telling
• 3:52
  him,
• 3:53
  you
• 3:53
  know,
• 3:53
  you're
• 3:53
  a
• 3:54
  liar,
• 3:54
  whatever.
• 3:56
  And
• 3:56
  I
• 3:56
  sent
• 3:57
  him
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  text
• 3:57
  at
• 3:58
  5:40,
• 4:00
  I
• 4:00
  think
• 4:00
  it
• 4:01
  was
• 4:01
  5:43pm
• 4:02
  That
• 4:03
  I
• 4:03
  still
• 4:03
  is
• 4:04
  on
• 4:04
  my
• 4:04
  phone
• 4:04
  because
• 4:04
  iCloud,
• 4:05
  right,
• 4:06
  loaded
• 4:06
  it
• 4:06
  back
• 4:07
  in,
• 4:07
  he
• 4:07
  deleted
• 4:07
  it,
• 4:08
  but
• 4:08
  it
• 4:08
  came
• 4:09
  back
• 4:10
  and
• 4:10
  it
• 4:10
  was
• 4:11
  something
• 4:11
  snarky.
• 4:12
  And
• 4:12
  he
• 4:12
  got
• 4:12
  home
• 4:13
  shortly
• 4:13
  after
• 4:14
  that.
• 4:14
  And
• 4:14
  I
• 4:14
  remember
• 4:15
  him
• 4:15
  saying,
• 4:15
  let's
• 4:15
  go
• 4:16
  sit
• 4:16
  out
• 4:16
  by
• 4:17
  the
• 4:17
  fire.
• 4:17
  Because
• 4:17
  that's
• 4:18
  what
• 4:18
  he
• 4:18
  always
• 4:18
  loved
• 4:18
  to
• 4:19
  do
• 4:19
  that.
• 4:19
  So
• 4:20
  that
• 4:20
  wasn't
• 4:20
  unusual.
• 4:20
  We
• 4:20
  sit
• 4:21
  out
• 4:21
  there,
• 4:21
  we
• 4:21
  used
• 4:21
  to
• 4:21
  smoke,
• 4:22
  drink.
• 4:22
  So
• 4:23
  that's
• 4:23
  what
• 4:23
  I
• 4:23
  remember
• 4:24
  is
• 4:24
  him
• 4:24
  coming
• 4:25
  home
• 4:25
  after
• 4:25
  that
• 4:26
  text.
• 4:27
  5:43Pm,
• 4:28
  let's
• 4:29
  sit
• 4:29
  by
• 4:29
  the
• 4:29
  fire.
• 4:30
  And
• 4:30
  at
• 4:30
  8:09pm
• 4:32
  was
• 4:32
  the
• 4:32
  911
• 4:33
  call.
• 4:35
  So
• 4:35
  that
• 4:35
  time
• 4:36
  in
• 4:36
  between,
• 4:37
  that
• 4:37
  gets.
• 4:37
  Fuzzy,
• 4:38
  you
• 4:38
  know,
• 4:38
  because
• 4:39
  also
• 4:39
  I
• 4:39
  was
• 4:39
  drinking
• 4:39
  wine.
• 4:40
  I'm
• 4:40
  stressed.
• 4:41
  I'm
• 4:41
  drinking
• 4:41
  wine,
• 4:41
  some
• 4:42
  cigarettes.
• 4:42
  And
• 4:43
  I
• 4:43
  remember
• 4:43
  us
• 4:43
  sitting
• 4:44
  there,
• 4:44
  you
• 4:44
  know,
• 4:45
  sitting
• 4:45
  by
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  fire.
• 4:45
  I'm
• 4:45
  sure
• 4:46
  we
• 4:46
  were
• 4:46
  arguing.
• 4:47
  I
• 4:47
  know
• 4:48
  my
• 4:48
  daughter
• 4:49
  came
• 4:50
  to
• 4:50
  pick
• 4:50
  something
• 4:51
  up
• 4:51
  and
• 4:51
  she
• 4:52
  said,
• 4:52
  I
• 4:52
  can
• 4:52
  hear
• 4:52
  you
• 4:52
  from
• 4:52
  the
• 4:53
  street.
• 4:53
  She
• 4:53
  stuck
• 4:53
  her
• 4:54
  head
• 4:54
  out
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  back
• 4:54
  door
• 4:54
  and
• 4:54
  said,
• 4:55
  I
• 4:55
  could
• 4:55
  hear
• 4:55
  you
• 4:55
  from
• 4:55
  the
• 4:55
  street.
• 4:55
  And
• 4:56
  I
• 4:56
  remember
• 4:56
  kind
• 4:56
  of
• 4:56
  laughing.
• 4:57
  And
• 4:59
  in
• 4:59
  after
• 5:00
  I
• 5:00
  woke
• 5:00
  up,
• 5:00
  I
• 5:01
  remembered
• 5:02
  that
• 5:02
  I
• 5:02
  was
• 5:02
  laughing
• 5:03
  before
• 5:03
  she
• 5:04
  said
• 5:04
  that.
• 5:04
  So
• 5:04
  my
• 5:04
  mind
• 5:05
  got
• 5:05
  mixed
• 5:05
  up
• 5:06
  right
• 5:06
  with
• 5:06
  the
• 5:07
  afterthoughts.
• 5:07
  But
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  know,
• 5:11
  when
• 5:12
  I
• 5:12
  woke
• 5:12
  up
• 5:12
  from
• 5:12
  the
• 5:12
  coma,
• 5:13
  I
• 5:13
  didn't
• 5:13
  remember
• 5:14
  what
• 5:14
  happened.
• 5:14
  But
• 5:15
  what
• 5:15
  actually
• 5:15
  happened
• 5:17
  was
• 5:17
  me
• 5:18
  reaching
• 5:18
  out
• 5:18
  across
• 5:19
  the
• 5:19
  fire
• 5:19
  and
• 5:20
  him
• 5:20
  squirting
• 5:20
  the
• 5:21
  lighter
• 5:21
  fluid.
• 5:21
  So
• 5:22
  the
• 5:22
  flame
• 5:22
  came
• 5:22
  up
• 5:23
  and
• 5:24
  me
• 5:24
  running.
• 5:25
  We,
• 5:25
  you
• 5:25
  know,
• 5:26
  like,
• 5:26
  in
• 5:26
  the
• 5:26
  backyard.
• 5:27
  Our
• 5:27
  backyard
• 5:27
  was
• 5:27
  very
• 5:29
  private.
• 5:31
  So
• 5:31
  I
• 5:31
  ran
• 5:32
  like
• 5:32
  I
• 5:32
  was
• 5:32
  running
• 5:33
  to
• 5:33
  the
• 5:33
  driveway
• 5:33
  towards
• 5:34
  my
• 5:34
  car.
• 5:34
  And
• 5:35
  when
• 5:35
  I
• 5:35
  got
• 5:35
  to
• 5:35
  the
• 5:36
  corner,
• 5:39
  he
• 5:39
  had
• 5:39
  been
• 5:40
  squirting
• 5:40
  lighter
• 5:41
  fluid
• 5:41
  at
• 5:41
  me
• 5:41
  the
• 5:41
  whole
• 5:42
  time
• 5:42
  as
• 5:42
  I
• 5:42
  ran.
• 5:43
  I
• 5:44
  had
• 5:44
  this
• 5:44
  really
• 5:44
  long
• 5:45
  hair
• 5:45
  in.
• 5:45
  It
• 5:45
  was,
• 5:45
  like,
• 5:46
  down
• 5:46
  my
• 5:46
  bottom.
• 5:46
  And
• 5:47
  I
• 5:47
  can
• 5:48
  remember
• 5:49
  that.
• 5:49
  And
• 5:49
  I
• 5:49
  remember
• 5:49
  getting
• 5:50
  to
• 5:50
  that
• 5:50
  corner
• 5:51
  and
• 5:51
  looking
• 5:51
  back
• 5:52
  at
• 5:52
  him
• 5:52
  and
• 5:52
  saying,
• 5:54
  no.
• 5:54
  And
• 5:55
  he
• 5:55
  threw
• 5:56
  a
• 5:56
  Zippo
• 5:56
  at
• 5:57
  me
• 5:57
  that
• 5:57
  we
• 5:57
  had
• 5:58
  just
• 5:58
  bought
• 5:58
  in
• 5:58
  Switzerland.
• 5:59
  It
• 5:59
  was
• 6:00
  red
• 6:00
  with
• 6:00
  the.
• 6:01
  The.
• 6:02
  The
• 6:02
  Swiss
• 6:03
  flag
• 6:03
  with
• 6:03
  the
• 6:03
  white
• 6:03
  cross.
• 6:04
  And
• 6:05
  then
• 6:06
  I'm
• 6:06
  in.
• 6:06
  I'm
• 6:06
  in
• 6:07
  flames.
• 6:08
  So
• 6:08
  when
• 6:08
  you
• 6:08
  woke
• 6:08
  up
• 6:09
  in
• 6:09
  the
• 6:09
  hospital,
• 6:10
  what
• 6:10
  was
• 6:10
  going
• 6:11
  through
• 6:11
  your
• 6:11
  mind?
• 6:11
  Because
• 6:11
  again,
• 6:12
  this
• 6:12
  is
• 6:12
  like
• 6:12
  two
• 6:12
  months
• 6:13
  after
• 6:14
  it
• 6:14
  happened.
• 6:14
  So
• 6:15
  what
• 6:15
  was
• 6:15
  going
• 6:16
  through
• 6:16
  your
• 6:16
  mind,
• 6:16
  especially
• 6:16
  those
• 6:17
  first
• 6:17
  few
• 6:17
  days?
• 6:17
  And
• 6:18
  what
• 6:18
  happened?
• 6:18
  What
• 6:18
  had
• 6:19
  happened?
• 6:19
  Yeah,
• 6:20
  I
• 6:20
  couldn't
• 6:21
  remember
• 6:21
  everything,
• 6:22
  but
• 6:22
  as
• 6:22
  I
• 6:23
  was
• 6:23
  waking
• 6:23
  up,
• 6:24
  I
• 6:24
  was
• 6:24
  waking
• 6:25
  up
• 6:25
  to
• 6:25
  that
• 6:25
  man,
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  same
• 6:26
  man
• 6:27
  kissing
• 6:27
  my
• 6:27
  face,
• 6:29
  you
• 6:29
  know,
• 6:29
  saying,
• 6:29
  telling
• 6:30
  me
• 6:30
  how
• 6:30
  bad
• 6:30
  the
• 6:31
  accident
• 6:31
  was.
• 6:33
  The
• 6:33
  police
• 6:33
  didn't
• 6:34
  question
• 6:34
  him
• 6:35
  at
• 6:35
  all.
• 6:37
  I
• 6:37
  didn't
• 6:37
  see.
• 6:38
  I
• 6:38
  didn't
• 6:38
  know
• 6:38
  until
• 6:39
  2024.
• 6:40
  I
• 6:40
  didn't
• 6:40
  see
• 6:40
  the
• 6:40
  police
• 6:41
  report
• 6:41
  that
• 6:41
  showed
• 6:43
  they
• 6:43
  closed
• 6:43
  the
• 6:44
  case
• 6:44
  within
• 6:44
  maybe
• 6:44
  eight
• 6:45
  hours.
• 6:45
  Like,
• 6:46
  oh,
• 6:46
  yeah,
• 6:46
  it
• 6:46
  looks
• 6:46
  like
• 6:46
  an
• 6:46
  accident.
• 6:49
  And
• 6:49
  he
• 6:49
  told
• 6:49
  a
• 6:49
  bunch
• 6:49
  of
• 6:49
  different
• 6:50
  stories,
• 6:50
  you
• 6:50
  know,
• 6:51
  throughout
• 6:51
  the
• 6:51
  time.
• 6:51
  Cause,
• 6:51
  you
• 6:52
  know,
• 6:52
  it
• 6:52
  takes
• 6:52
  a
• 6:52
  liar
• 6:52
  a
• 6:52
  while
• 6:53
  to
• 6:53
  work
• 6:53
  that
• 6:53
  out.
• 6:53
  And
• 6:53
  he's
• 6:54
  under
• 6:54
  stress.
• 6:55
  But.
• 6:55
  So
• 6:55
  I'm
• 6:56
  waking
• 6:56
  up
• 6:56
  and
• 6:57
  he's
• 6:57
  there
• 6:57
  because
• 6:58
  he's
• 6:58
  not
• 6:58
  been
• 6:58
  questioned.
• 7:00
  He's
• 7:00
  been
• 7:00
  the
• 7:01
  doting
• 7:01
  husband
• 7:01
  in
• 7:02
  the
• 7:02
  hospital.
• 7:04
  He's
• 7:04
  enjoying
• 7:04
  it.
• 7:05
  He's
• 7:05
  the
• 7:05
  hero
• 7:06
  now,
• 7:06
  taking
• 7:07
  care
• 7:07
  of
• 7:07
  his.
• 7:08
  I
• 7:09
  wake
• 7:09
  up
• 7:09
  and
• 7:09
  it
• 7:10
  was
• 7:10
  February
• 7:10
  when
• 7:10
  I
• 7:11
  woke
• 7:11
  up,
• 7:11
  and
• 7:11
  there
• 7:12
  were
• 7:13
  roses
• 7:14
  there
• 7:14
  and
• 7:14
  a
• 7:14
  giant
• 7:15
  stuffed
• 7:15
  grass.
• 7:15
  Yeah,
• 7:16
  he's
• 7:16
  buying
• 7:16
  me
• 7:16
  stuff.
• 7:16
  Why
• 7:16
  I'm
• 7:17
  in
• 7:17
  a
• 7:17
  coma.
• 7:17
  Who
• 7:17
  are
• 7:18
  the
• 7:18
  flowers
• 7:18
  for?
• 7:19
  They're
• 7:19
  for
• 7:20
  everybody
• 7:20
  else,
• 7:20
  right?
• 7:22
  It's
• 7:22
  for
• 7:22
  the
• 7:22
  show.
• 7:23
  I'm
• 7:24
  in
• 7:24
  a
• 7:24
  coma.
• 7:24
  Why
• 7:25
  are
• 7:25
  you
• 7:25
  doing
• 7:25
  these
• 7:26
  things?
• 7:27
  And
• 7:27
  I
• 7:27
  don't
• 7:28
  know.
• 7:28
  I
• 7:28
  think
• 7:29
  a
• 7:29
  lot
• 7:29
  of
• 7:29
  people
• 7:29
  knew
• 7:30
  he
• 7:30
  wasn't
• 7:31
  right
• 7:32
  in
• 7:32
  the
• 7:32
  hospital,
• 7:32
  but
• 7:33
  it's
• 7:33
  not
• 7:33
  theirs
• 7:34
  to
• 7:34
  their
• 7:35
  decision
• 7:35
  to
• 7:35
  make.
• 7:36
  But,
• 7:36
  yeah.
• 7:37
  So
• 7:37
  waking
• 7:37
  up,
• 7:37
  then
• 7:38
  he's
• 7:38
  telling
• 7:39
  me
• 7:39
  about
• 7:39
  the
• 7:39
  accident.
• 7:40
  And,
• 7:41
  you
• 7:41
  know,
• 7:42
  you
• 7:42
  are
• 7:42
  so
• 7:43
  heavily
• 7:44
  sedated.
• 7:45
  You've
• 7:45
  got
• 7:46
  paralytics
• 7:46
  and
• 7:47
  fentanyl
• 7:47
  and
• 7:48
  morphine,
• 7:48
  and
• 7:48
  you're
• 7:49
  just
• 7:49
  like,
• 7:49
  you
• 7:49
  don't
• 7:50
  know
• 7:50
  what's
• 7:50
  going
• 7:50
  on.
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  just
• 7:52
  knew
• 7:53
  I
• 7:53
  was
• 7:53
  alive.
• 7:53
  They
• 7:53
  were
• 7:53
  asking
• 7:54
  Me,
• 7:54
  if
• 7:54
  I
• 7:54
  knew.
• 7:55
  What
• 7:55
  month
• 7:56
  is
• 7:56
  it?
• 7:56
  It's
• 7:56
  like
• 7:56
  December,
• 7:57
  you
• 7:57
  know,
• 7:58
  and
• 7:58
  they're
• 7:58
  like,
• 7:58
  no,
• 7:58
  it's
• 7:58
  February.
• 7:59
  And
• 8:01
  so
• 8:01
  you're
• 8:02
  just
• 8:02
  very
• 8:02
  confused.
• 8:03
  And
• 8:03
  I'll
• 8:03
  tell
• 8:04
  you
• 8:04
  the
• 8:04
  one
• 8:04
  thing
• 8:04
  I
• 8:04
  thought,
• 8:05
  though,
• 8:05
  you
• 8:06
  know,
• 8:06
  a
• 8:06
  little
• 8:06
  bit
• 8:06
  later,
• 8:07
  he
• 8:07
  said
• 8:07
  to
• 8:07
  me,
• 8:08
  you
• 8:08
  know,
• 8:09
  I
• 8:09
  really
• 8:10
  missed
• 8:10
  you.
• 8:11
  I'm
• 8:11
  really
• 8:11
  sorry.
• 8:12
  Now
• 8:13
  I
• 8:13
  can
• 8:13
  see
• 8:14
  how
• 8:15
  bad
• 8:15
  I've
• 8:16
  been
• 8:16
  treating
• 8:16
  you
• 8:16
  all
• 8:17
  these
• 8:17
  years,
• 8:19
  and
• 8:19
  I
• 8:19
  really
• 8:19
  missed
• 8:20
  you.
• 8:20
  I'll
• 8:20
  never
• 8:20
  do
• 8:20
  it
• 8:20
  again.
• 8:21
  Now
• 8:21
  I
• 8:21
  understand
• 8:22
  how
• 8:22
  bad
• 8:22
  I've
• 8:23
  been
• 8:23
  treating
• 8:23
  you.
• 8:24
  Now.
• 8:24
  He
• 8:24
  hadn't
• 8:24
  been
• 8:24
  hitting
• 8:25
  me
• 8:25
  all
• 8:25
  those
• 8:25
  years,
• 8:25
  but
• 8:26
  emotional
• 8:26
  abuse
• 8:27
  all
• 8:27
  those
• 8:27
  years
• 8:28
  that
• 8:28
  I
• 8:28
  didn't
• 8:28
  know
• 8:28
  was
• 8:28
  abuse.
• 8:29
  And
• 8:29
  do
• 8:30
  you
• 8:30
  know,
• 8:30
  I
• 8:30
  found
• 8:31
  that
• 8:31
  to
• 8:31
  be
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  relief.
• 8:32
  That's
• 8:33
  how
• 8:33
  bad
• 8:33
  narcissistic
• 8:34
  abuse
• 8:34
  is.
• 8:35
  I
• 8:35
  was
• 8:35
  laying
• 8:36
  in
• 8:36
  a
• 8:36
  bed.
• 8:38
  I
• 8:39
  literally
• 8:39
  didn't
• 8:39
  have
• 8:39
  a
• 8:40
  face.
• 8:40
  I
• 8:40
  couldn't
• 8:41
  move.
• 8:41
  I
• 8:41
  couldn't
• 8:41
  pick
• 8:42
  up
• 8:42
  an
• 8:42
  arm.
• 8:43
  I
• 8:43
  don't
• 8:43
  know
• 8:44
  if
• 8:44
  I'm
• 8:44
  going
• 8:44
  to
• 8:44
  live
• 8:44
  or
• 8:44
  die,
• 8:45
  because
• 8:45
  just
• 8:45
  waking
• 8:46
  up
• 8:46
  from
• 8:46
  the
• 8:46
  coma
• 8:46
  is
• 8:46
  no
• 8:47
  guarantee.
• 8:50
  And
• 8:50
  I
• 8:50
  felt
• 8:50
  relieved
• 8:51
  just
• 8:51
  by
• 8:52
  him
• 8:52
  saying
• 8:52
  he
• 8:53
  was
• 8:53
  not
• 8:53
  going
• 8:53
  to
• 8:53
  torture
• 8:54
  me
• 8:54
  anymore.
• 8:55
  That.
• 8:56
  And
• 8:56
  that's.
• 8:57
  That's
• 8:57
  what
• 8:57
  we
• 8:57
  have
• 8:57
  to
• 8:58
  understand
• 8:58
  about
• 8:58
  emotional
• 8:59
  abuse,
• 8:59
  right?
• 9:00
  It
• 9:00
  is
• 9:00
  killing
• 9:01
  you.
• 9:01
  It
• 9:01
  is
• 9:02
  horrible.
• 9:03
  When
• 9:03
  was,
• 9:03
  like,
• 9:03
  the
• 9:04
  first
• 9:04
  time
• 9:04
  you
• 9:05
  knew,
• 9:06
  like,
• 9:06
  the
• 9:06
  totality
• 9:07
  of
• 9:07
  what
• 9:07
  had
• 9:07
  happened?
• 9:08
  It
• 9:08
  was
• 9:08
  2023.
• 9:09
  So
• 9:09
  that's
• 9:10
  many
• 9:10
  years
• 9:11
  later
• 9:11
  now.
• 9:11
  The
• 9:11
  first.
• 9:12
  Okay,
• 9:12
  so
• 9:13
  that's
• 9:13
  not
• 9:14
  fair.
• 9:14
  I
• 9:14
  knew
• 9:14
  things
• 9:15
  were
• 9:15
  going
• 9:15
  wrong
• 9:16
  the
• 9:16
  whole
• 9:16
  time
• 9:17
  after
• 9:17
  we
• 9:17
  got
• 9:17
  home,
• 9:18
  he
• 9:18
  was
• 9:18
  doing
• 9:19
  stuff
• 9:19
  like
• 9:19
  stealing
• 9:19
  my
• 9:20
  pain
• 9:20
  medicine.
• 9:21
  No
• 9:22
  kidding.
• 9:23
  I
• 9:24
  mean.
• 9:24
  And
• 9:24
  then
• 9:25
  I
• 9:25
  later,
• 9:25
  like,
• 9:25
  20,
• 9:26
  22
• 9:27
  or
• 9:27
  somewhere
• 9:27
  in
• 9:28
  there,
• 9:28
  found
• 9:28
  out
• 9:28
  he
• 9:28
  had
• 9:28
  been
• 9:29
  on
• 9:29
  meth
• 9:29
  the
• 9:29
  whole
• 9:30
  time.
• 9:30
  I
• 9:30
  had
• 9:31
  no
• 9:31
  idea.
• 9:31
  I
• 9:31
  thought
• 9:31
  he
• 9:31
  had
• 9:31
  a
• 9:31
  problem
• 9:32
  drinking,
• 9:33
  right?
• 9:33
  No,
• 9:34
  he's
• 9:34
  on
• 9:34
  meth
• 9:34
  and
• 9:35
  heroin.
• 9:35
  He's
• 9:36
  stealing
• 9:36
  my
• 9:36
  pain
• 9:37
  medicine.
• 9:38
  But
• 9:38
  still,
• 9:38
  I
• 9:39
  felt
• 9:39
  like
• 9:40
  I
• 9:40
  still
• 9:40
  didn't
• 9:40
  remember.
• 9:41
  And
• 9:41
  I
• 9:41
  don't
• 9:41
  know
• 9:41
  if
• 9:41
  that
• 9:42
  was
• 9:42
  a
• 9:42
  choice
• 9:42
  or
• 9:43
  not
• 9:43
  because
• 9:44
  I
• 9:44
  didn't
• 9:44
  have
• 9:44
  anywhere
• 9:44
  to
• 9:45
  go.
• 9:45
  I
• 9:45
  don't
• 9:45
  have
• 9:45
  family.
• 9:46
  I
• 9:46
  don't
• 9:46
  want
• 9:47
  to
• 9:47
  move
• 9:47
  in.
• 9:47
  And
• 9:48
  with
• 9:48
  my
• 9:48
  kids,
• 9:49
  they're
• 9:49
  living
• 9:49
  their
• 9:49
  best
• 9:50
  life.
• 9:50
  So
• 9:51
  I
• 9:51
  just
• 9:51
  kind
• 9:51
  of
• 9:52
  hunkered
• 9:52
  down
• 9:52
  and
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  don't
• 9:53
  know
• 9:53
  where
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  was.
• 9:54
  A
• 9:54
  very
• 9:54
  dark
• 9:55
  place,
• 9:55
  you
• 9:55
  know,
• 9:56
  just
• 9:56
  try
• 9:56
  to
• 9:56
  stay
• 9:56
  alive.
• 9:57
  I'm
• 9:57
  hiding
• 9:57
  my
• 9:58
  pain
• 9:58
  medicine
• 9:59
  once
• 9:59
  I
• 9:59
  was
• 9:59
  able
• 9:59
  to
• 9:59
  give
• 10:00
  it
• 10:00
  to
• 10:00
  myself,
• 10:01
  so
• 10:02
  I
• 10:02
  started
• 10:02
  doing
• 10:03
  burn
• 10:03
  beauty.
• 10:04
  And
• 10:04
  that
• 10:04
  was
• 10:04
  just
• 10:04
  because
• 10:05
  I
• 10:05
  finally
• 10:05
  made
• 10:05
  a
• 10:06
  video
• 10:06
  to
• 10:06
  tell
• 10:06
  my
• 10:07
  friends
• 10:08
  what
• 10:08
  had
• 10:08
  happened.
• 10:09
  Like,
• 10:09
  my
• 10:09
  Facebook
• 10:09
  friends.
• 10:11
  I
• 10:11
  didn't
• 10:11
  know
• 10:11
  anything
• 10:11
  about
• 10:11
  making
• 10:12
  videos.
• 10:12
  I
• 10:12
  didn't
• 10:12
  know
• 10:13
  anything
• 10:13
  about
• 10:13
  social
• 10:13
  media,
• 10:14
  but
• 10:14
  I
• 10:14
  made
• 10:14
  it.
• 10:15
  And
• 10:15
  didn't
• 10:16
  realize
• 10:16
  that
• 10:16
  anybody
• 10:17
  could
• 10:17
  see
• 10:17
  it.
• 10:18
  And
• 10:18
  so
• 10:19
  people
• 10:19
  started
• 10:19
  to
• 10:19
  respond,
• 10:20
  right?
• 10:21
  They're
• 10:21
  like,
• 10:21
  oh,
• 10:21
  my
• 10:21
  gosh,
• 10:21
  we're
• 10:22
  going
• 10:22
  through
• 10:22
  this.
• 10:23
  So
• 10:23
  when
• 10:23
  I
• 10:23
  was
• 10:23
  able
• 10:24
  to
• 10:24
  connect
• 10:24
  that
• 10:24
  dot,
• 10:25
  like,
• 10:25
  okay,
• 10:27
  this
• 10:27
  is
• 10:27
  what
• 10:27
  I
• 10:28
  can
• 10:28
  do
• 10:28
  for
• 10:28
  the
• 10:28
  rest
• 10:28
  of
• 10:28
  my
• 10:29
  life,
• 10:29
  because
• 10:29
  I
• 10:29
  was
• 10:30
  only
• 10:30
  47
• 10:31
  at
• 10:32
  the
• 10:32
  time,
• 10:33
  and
• 10:33
  I
• 10:34
  don't
• 10:34
  want
• 10:34
  to
• 10:34
  sit
• 10:34
  on
• 10:34
  the
• 10:34
  couch
• 10:35
  for
• 10:35
  the
• 10:35
  rest
• 10:35
  of
• 10:35
  my
• 10:35
  life,
• 10:36
  right?
• 10:37
  So
• 10:37
  when
• 10:38
  I
• 10:38
  started
• 10:38
  doing
• 10:38
  that,
• 10:39
  it
• 10:39
  started
• 10:39
  to
• 10:40
  change
• 10:40
  things.
• 10:41
  Now
• 10:41
  he
• 10:41
  started
• 10:41
  to
• 10:41
  get
• 10:42
  jealous,
• 10:43
  and
• 10:43
  I
• 10:43
  think
• 10:43
  that
• 10:43
  was
• 10:43
  dangerous,
• 10:44
  but
• 10:44
  only
• 10:45
  in
• 10:45
  retrospect
• 10:45
  do
• 10:45
  I
• 10:46
  realize
• 10:46
  that.
• 10:47
  But
• 10:47
  in
• 10:47
  2023,
• 10:48
  I
• 10:48
  started
• 10:48
  doing
• 10:49
  TikTok.
• 10:50
  And
• 10:50
  I
• 10:51
  was
• 10:51
  doing
• 10:51
  TikTok
• 10:52
  live
• 10:52
  and
• 10:52
  telling
• 10:53
  my
• 10:53
  story
• 10:54
  every
• 10:54
  day
• 10:55
  and
• 10:56
  doing
• 10:56
  my
• 10:56
  makeup.
• 10:56
  And
• 10:56
  I
• 10:57
  did
• 10:57
  that
• 10:57
  for
• 10:57
  two
• 10:58
  months,
• 10:58
  maybe
• 10:58
  three
• 10:59
  months.
• 10:59
  And
• 11:00
  eventually,
• 11:00
  just
• 11:00
  the
• 11:01
  pictures
• 11:01
  in
• 11:01
  my
• 11:02
  head
• 11:03
  didn't
• 11:04
  match
• 11:05
  my
• 11:06
  words,
• 11:06
  because,
• 11:06
  you
• 11:07
  know,
• 11:07
  you're
• 11:07
  on
• 11:07
  autopilot
• 11:08
  with
• 11:08
  the
• 11:08
  words.
• 11:09
  The
• 11:10
  pictures
• 11:10
  didn't
• 11:10
  match,
• 11:11
  and
• 11:11
  I
• 11:11
  got
• 11:12
  so
• 11:12
  confused.
• 11:12
  Fortunately,
• 11:13
  I
• 11:13
  was
• 11:13
  in
• 11:13
  therapy,
• 11:15
  and
• 11:15
  I
• 11:15
  asked
• 11:15
  my
• 11:15
  therapist,
• 11:16
  like,
• 11:16
  is
• 11:17
  this
• 11:17
  real?
• 11:17
  Could
• 11:18
  this
• 11:18
  be
• 11:19
  true?
• 11:19
  And
• 11:19
  she
• 11:20
  went,
• 11:20
  yes.
• 11:20
  And
• 11:21
  I
• 11:21
  think
• 11:21
  she
• 11:21
  already
• 11:21
  knew.
• 11:22
  She
• 11:22
  was
• 11:23
  very
• 11:23
  quid.
• 11:24
  I
• 11:24
  could
• 11:24
  tell
• 11:24
  she
• 11:26
  didn't
• 11:26
  care
• 11:26
  for
• 11:27
  him,
• 11:27
  you
• 11:27
  know,
• 11:27
  and
• 11:29
  she
• 11:29
  was
• 11:29
  like,
• 11:29
  absolutely.
• 11:30
  Let's
• 11:30
  work
• 11:30
  it
• 11:31
  out.
• 11:32
  Wow.
• 11:32
  And
• 11:34
  life
• 11:34
  saving.
• 11:35
  Life
• 11:35
  saving.
• 11:35
  Thank
• 11:35
  God
• 11:36
  you
• 11:36
  had
• 11:36
  therapy
• 11:37
  like
• 11:37
  that.
• 11:37
  So
• 11:38
  when
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  came
• 11:38
  home
• 11:38
  from
• 11:38
  the
• 11:38
  hospital,
• 11:39
  you
• 11:39
  two
• 11:39
  were
• 11:39
  still
• 11:40
  living
• 11:40
  together
• 11:40
  at
• 11:40
  that
• 11:41
  point?
• 11:41
  For
• 11:41
  years
• 11:42
  after
• 11:42
  that,
• 11:42
  right?
• 11:43
  He's
• 11:43
  my
• 11:43
  caretaker.
• 11:44
  Yes.
• 11:45
  They
• 11:45
  send
• 11:46
  me
• 11:46
  home
• 11:46
  with
• 11:46
  him,
• 11:48
  perpetrator
• 11:49
  with
• 11:49
  him.
• 11:50
  You're
• 11:50
  sleeping
• 11:51
  with
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  enemy.
• 11:51
  And
• 11:52
  how
• 11:52
  he's
• 11:52
  taking
• 11:52
  care
• 11:53
  of
• 11:53
  me.
• 11:53
  I
• 11:54
  still
• 11:54
  couldn't
• 11:54
  walk.
• 11:54
  I
• 11:54
  had
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  learn
• 11:55
  to
• 11:55
  walk
• 11:55
  and
• 11:56
  talk.
• 11:56
  I
• 11:56
  couldn't
• 11:57
  swallow,
• 11:58
  so
• 11:58
  I
• 11:58
  had
• 11:58
  a
• 11:58
  feeding
• 11:59
  tube,
• 11:59
  and
• 12:00
  I
• 12:00
  couldn't
• 12:00
  swallow
• 12:01
  the
• 12:01
  pills.
• 12:01
  They
• 12:01
  had
• 12:02
  to
• 12:02
  be
• 12:02
  grinded
• 12:02
  up
• 12:02
  and
• 12:03
  put
• 12:04
  right.
• 12:04
  So
• 12:04
  he
• 12:04
  was
• 12:05
  completely
• 12:05
  in
• 12:05
  charge
• 12:05
  of
• 12:06
  everything.
• 12:07
  Oh,
• 12:07
  my
• 12:07
  gosh.
• 12:08
  And
• 12:08
  he's
• 12:08
  sadistic,
• 12:09
  too.
• 12:09
  He
• 12:09
  does
• 12:09
  some
• 12:09
  ugly
• 12:10
  things,
• 12:10
  but
• 12:11
  he,
• 12:11
  like,
• 12:12
  he.
• 12:13
  On
• 12:13
  like,
• 12:14
  three
• 12:14
  occasions,
• 12:15
  he
• 12:15
  put,
• 12:16
  like,
• 12:16
  this
• 12:16
  liquid
• 12:17
  laxative.
• 12:17
  I
• 12:17
  don't
• 12:18
  know
• 12:18
  what
• 12:18
  it's
• 12:18
  called,
• 12:18
  but
• 12:18
  it's
• 12:18
  really
• 12:19
  strong.
• 12:19
  It's
• 12:19
  magnesium
• 12:20
  stuff,
• 12:20
  right?
• 12:21
  You
• 12:21
  know,
• 12:21
  it's
• 12:21
  the
• 12:21
  clear
• 12:21
  stuff.
• 12:22
  But
• 12:22
  he
• 12:23
  put
• 12:23
  that
• 12:23
  in
• 12:24
  my
• 12:24
  feeding
• 12:25
  tube
• 12:25
  without
• 12:25
  telling
• 12:26
  me,
• 12:27
  and
• 12:27
  put
• 12:27
  so
• 12:28
  much
• 12:28
  that
• 12:28
  I
• 12:28
  woke
• 12:29
  up
• 12:29
  in
• 12:30
  the
• 12:30
  middle
• 12:30
  of
• 12:30
  the
• 12:30
  night
• 12:31
  laying
• 12:31
  in
• 12:33
  waste.
• 12:33
  Oh,
• 12:33
  my.
• 12:34
  Laying
• 12:34
  in
• 12:34
  waste
• 12:35
  with
• 12:35
  him
• 12:35
  saying,
• 12:36
  well,
• 12:36
  I
• 12:36
  don't
• 12:36
  want
• 12:36
  you
• 12:36
  to
• 12:36
  get
• 12:36
  constipated
• 12:37
  because
• 12:37
  of
• 12:37
  the
• 12:37
  pills.
• 12:38
  They
• 12:38
  keep
• 12:38
  saying
• 12:39
  not
• 12:39
  to
• 12:39
  get.
• 12:39
  I
• 12:39
  was
• 12:39
  like,
• 12:40
  what
• 12:40
  is
• 12:40
  wrong
• 12:40
  with
• 12:41
  you?
• 12:41
  Oh,
• 12:41
  my
• 12:42
  God.
• 12:42
  Why
• 12:42
  would
• 12:42
  you
• 12:42
  do
• 12:43
  that?
• 12:43
  Why
• 12:43
  would
• 12:43
  you
• 12:43
  do
• 12:43
  that?
• 12:44
  He
• 12:44
  just
• 12:44
  wanted
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  Talk
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  you?
• 12:44
  I'm
• 12:44
  not
• 12:45
  sure.
• 12:45
  Once.
• 12:45
  Right.
• 12:46
  But
• 12:46
  three
• 12:46
  times.
• 12:46
  That's
• 12:47
  why.
• 12:47
  It's
• 12:47
  not
• 12:47
  a
• 12:47
  mistake.
• 12:48
  No,
• 12:49
  it's
• 12:49
  a
• 12:49
  choice.
• 12:50
  That's
• 12:50
  sick.
• 12:51
  And
• 12:51
  is
• 12:51
  he.
• 12:52
  Yeah,
• 12:52
  no,
• 12:53
  that's
• 12:53
  absolutely
• 12:53
  sick.
• 12:54
  So
• 12:54
  what
• 12:54
  took.
• 12:55
  Was
• 12:55
  it
• 12:55
  the
• 12:56
  therapist
• 12:56
  that
• 12:56
  kind
• 12:57
  of
• 12:57
  pushed
• 12:57
  you
• 12:57
  to
• 12:58
  make
• 12:58
  the
• 12:58
  decision
• 12:58
  to,
• 12:59
  you
• 12:59
  know,
• 12:59
  like,
• 13:00
  escape
• 13:00
  him
• 13:00
  essentially?
• 13:01
  You
• 13:01
  know,
• 13:02
  I
• 13:02
  mean,
• 13:02
  as
• 13:02
  soon
• 13:03
  as
• 13:03
  I
• 13:04
  remembered
• 13:04
  and
• 13:05
  I
• 13:05
  needed
• 13:06
  validation
• 13:07
  from
• 13:07
  someone
• 13:07
  else
• 13:08
  to
• 13:08
  say,
• 13:08
  yes,
• 13:08
  you
• 13:09
  are
• 13:09
  allowed
• 13:09
  to
• 13:09
  believe
• 13:10
  your
• 13:11
  memory
• 13:11
  because
• 13:12
  that's
• 13:12
  the
• 13:12
  damage
• 13:13
  narcissistic
• 13:13
  abuse
• 13:14
  does,
• 13:14
  or
• 13:15
  any
• 13:15
  emotional
• 13:15
  abuse,
• 13:16
  you
• 13:16
  doubt
• 13:16
  yourself.
• 13:17
  That's
• 13:17
  the
• 13:17
  biggest
• 13:18
  loss.
• 13:21
  So
• 13:21
  I
• 13:22
  wanted
• 13:22
  to
• 13:22
  leave.
• 13:23
  But
• 13:24
  then
• 13:24
  it's
• 13:24
  like,
• 13:24
  well,
• 13:25
  I
• 13:25
  don't
• 13:25
  have
• 13:25
  any.
• 13:25
  I
• 13:26
  don't
• 13:26
  have
• 13:26
  enough
• 13:26
  money.
• 13:27
  He
• 13:28
  had
• 13:28
  all
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  money,
• 13:28
  and
• 13:29
  by
• 13:29
  this
• 13:29
  point,
• 13:29
  he
• 13:29
  had
• 13:30
  blown
• 13:30
  all
• 13:30
  the
• 13:30
  money.
• 13:30
  We
• 13:30
  had
• 13:31
  a
• 13:31
  family
• 13:31
  business,
• 13:32
  and
• 13:33
  it
• 13:33
  was
• 13:33
  falling
• 13:33
  apart
• 13:34
  because
• 13:34
  I
• 13:34
  used
• 13:34
  to
• 13:35
  run
• 13:35
  it,
• 13:36
  and
• 13:36
  I
• 13:37
  would
• 13:37
  run
• 13:37
  it
• 13:37
  as
• 13:37
  the
• 13:38
  office
• 13:38
  manager,
• 13:38
  and
• 13:39
  he
• 13:39
  would
• 13:39
  always,
• 13:39
  you
• 13:40
  know,
• 13:40
  tell
• 13:40
  me,
• 13:41
  and
• 13:41
  he
• 13:41
  would
• 13:41
  just
• 13:41
  insult
• 13:42
  me
• 13:42
  about
• 13:42
  it,
• 13:42
  like,
• 13:43
  oh,
• 13:43
  you
• 13:43
  can
• 13:43
  never
• 13:43
  run
• 13:43
  a
• 13:43
  business.
• 13:44
  Blah,
• 13:44
  blah,
• 13:44
  blah.
• 13:44
  And
• 13:45
  in
• 13:45
  retrospect,
• 13:46
  I
• 13:46
  was
• 13:46
  running
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  business.
• 13:47
  Right.
• 13:47
  So.
• 13:49
  But,
• 13:50
  yeah,
• 13:50
  so
• 13:50
  it
• 13:50
  was
• 13:50
  falling
• 13:51
  apart.
• 13:51
  There
• 13:51
  was.
• 13:52
  I
• 13:52
  didn't
• 13:52
  realize
• 13:54
  a
• 13:54
  lot
• 13:54
  of
• 13:55
  things
• 13:55
  like,
• 13:55
  that
• 13:56
  I
• 13:56
  could
• 13:56
  leave
• 13:56
  and
• 13:56
  get
• 13:57
  temporary
• 13:57
  alimony.
• 13:59
  Didn't
• 13:59
  know
• 13:59
  that.
• 14:00
  Right.
• 14:02
  Ultimately,
• 14:04
  I
• 14:04
  started.
• 14:04
  I
• 14:05
  thought,
• 14:05
  well,
• 14:05
  let
• 14:05
  me
• 14:05
  save
• 14:05
  my
• 14:06
  money.
• 14:06
  I've
• 14:06
  got
• 14:06
  to
• 14:06
  get
• 14:07
  out.
• 14:07
  And
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  contacted
• 14:08
  the
• 14:08
  Partnership
• 14:08
  Against
• 14:09
  Domestic
• 14:09
  Violence
• 14:10
  in
• 14:10
  Atlanta,
• 14:11
  told
• 14:11
  them
• 14:12
  my
• 14:12
  story.
• 14:13
  They
• 14:13
  said,
• 14:13
  you
• 14:13
  could
• 14:13
  go
• 14:13
  to
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  shelter,
• 14:14
  but
• 14:14
  you
• 14:14
  can't
• 14:15
  take
• 14:15
  your
• 14:15
  dog.
• 14:17
  And
• 14:17
  I
• 14:17
  said,
• 14:17
  no.
• 14:18
  I
• 14:19
  said,
• 14:19
  no.
• 14:19
  Now
• 14:20
  a
• 14:20
  lot
• 14:20
  of
• 14:20
  shelters
• 14:20
  have
• 14:21
  changed
• 14:21
  that
• 14:22
  because
• 14:22
  I
• 14:23
  didn't
• 14:23
  want
• 14:23
  to
• 14:23
  kennel
• 14:23
  him
• 14:23
  because
• 14:24
  he
• 14:24
  knows
• 14:24
  how
• 14:24
  long
• 14:24
  I'm
• 14:24
  going
• 14:25
  to
• 14:25
  be
• 14:25
  there,
• 14:25
  and
• 14:26
  he
• 14:26
  and
• 14:26
  I
• 14:26
  are
• 14:26
  all
• 14:26
  together.
• 14:27
  He's
• 14:27
  my
• 14:27
  emotional
• 14:27
  support.
• 14:29
  So
• 14:29
  I
• 14:30
  started
• 14:30
  sleeping
• 14:30
  downstairs
• 14:31
  on
• 14:31
  the
• 14:31
  couch
• 14:32
  in
• 14:32
  the
• 14:32
  house.
• 14:33
  He
• 14:33
  would
• 14:33
  sleep
• 14:33
  upstairs.
• 14:34
  My
• 14:35
  dog
• 14:35
  would
• 14:35
  sleep
• 14:35
  in
• 14:35
  the
• 14:35
  bed
• 14:36
  because
• 14:36
  my
• 14:36
  dog
• 14:36
  went
• 14:36
  to
• 14:36
  bed.
• 14:37
  You
• 14:37
  have
• 14:37
  to
• 14:37
  know
• 14:37
  him.
• 14:37
  No
• 14:38
  matter
• 14:38
  what.
• 14:38
  He's
• 14:39
  going
• 14:39
  to
• 14:39
  bed.
• 14:40
  He's
• 14:40
  like,
• 14:40
  look,
• 14:40
  I'm
• 14:41
  going
• 14:41
  to
• 14:41
  bed.
• 14:42
  Right.
• 14:42
  Right.
• 14:42
  So
• 14:43
  he'd
• 14:43
  be
• 14:43
  in
• 14:43
  the
• 14:43
  bed.
• 14:43
  They'd
• 14:43
  sleep
• 14:44
  up
• 14:44
  there.
• 14:44
  And
• 14:44
  I
• 14:44
  slept
• 14:45
  on
• 14:45
  the
• 14:45
  couch
• 14:45
  for
• 14:45
  over
• 14:46
  a
• 14:46
  year.
• 14:46
  And
• 14:46
  it
• 14:46
  wasn't
• 14:47
  even
• 14:47
  a
• 14:47
  real
• 14:47
  couch.
• 14:47
  It
• 14:48
  was
• 14:48
  like
• 14:48
  a
• 14:48
  recliner.
• 14:49
  And
• 14:50
  I
• 14:50
  slept
• 14:50
  there
• 14:50
  for
• 14:51
  over
• 14:51
  a
• 14:51
  year
• 14:51
  with
• 14:51
  sort
• 14:52
  of
• 14:52
  my
• 14:52
  aching,
• 14:52
  broken
• 14:53
  body.
• 14:53
  But
• 14:53
  I
• 14:53
  would
• 14:54
  work.
• 14:54
  I
• 14:54
  would
• 14:55
  sleep
• 14:55
  there
• 14:55
  so
• 14:55
  I
• 14:55
  could
• 14:55
  hear
• 14:55
  him
• 14:56
  coming.
• 14:56
  We
• 14:57
  had
• 14:57
  guest
• 14:57
  rooms
• 14:57
  upstairs.
• 14:58
  But,
• 14:58
  no,
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  needed
• 14:59
  to
• 14:59
  hear
• 14:59
  him
• 15:00
  coming.
• 15:00
  And
• 15:01
  no
• 15:01
  one
• 15:02
  should
• 15:02
  do
• 15:02
  that.
• 15:02
  This
• 15:03
  is
• 15:03
  not
• 15:03
  what
• 15:03
  you
• 15:03
  should
• 15:04
  do.
• 15:06
  But
• 15:06
  I
• 15:06
  didn't
• 15:07
  know
• 15:07
  at
• 15:08
  that
• 15:08
  Point.
• 15:08
  I
• 15:08
  still
• 15:09
  didn't
• 15:09
  know
• 15:10
  what
• 15:10
  narcissistic
• 15:11
  abuse
• 15:11
  was.
• 15:12
  I
• 15:12
  still
• 15:12
  didn't
• 15:13
  know
• 15:13
  that
• 15:13
  the
• 15:13
  15
• 15:13
  years
• 15:14
  prior
• 15:15
  had
• 15:15
  been
• 15:15
  abuse.
• 15:16
  I
• 15:17
  thought
• 15:17
  it
• 15:17
  had
• 15:17
  just
• 15:17
  been,
• 15:17
  he's
• 15:18
  a
• 15:18
  jerk.
• 15:18
  It's
• 15:18
  a
• 15:19
  difficult
• 15:19
  marriage,
• 15:21
  but
• 15:21
  when
• 15:21
  you
• 15:21
  come
• 15:21
  to
• 15:21
  understand
• 15:22
  what's
• 15:22
  happening
• 15:23
  to
• 15:23
  you,
• 15:23
  you
• 15:23
  have
• 15:23
  to
• 15:23
  get
• 15:24
  out.
• 15:24
  So
• 15:25
  I
• 15:25
  worked
• 15:26
  at
• 15:26
  least.
• 15:26
  I
• 15:26
  called
• 15:27
  the
• 15:27
  Partnership
• 15:27
  Against
• 15:27
  Domestic
• 15:28
  Violence.
• 15:28
  We
• 15:28
  put
• 15:28
  together
• 15:29
  a
• 15:29
  safety
• 15:29
  plan
• 15:29
  because
• 15:30
  they
• 15:30
  understood
• 15:30
  that
• 15:30
  I
• 15:30
  was
• 15:31
  staying,
• 15:31
  and
• 15:32
  they
• 15:32
  said,
• 15:32
  okay,
• 15:32
  well,
• 15:33
  here's
• 15:33
  what's
• 15:33
  gonna
• 15:34
  happen.
• 15:34
  If
• 15:34
  he
• 15:34
  gets
• 15:34
  upset,
• 15:35
  what
• 15:35
  are
• 15:35
  you
• 15:35
  gonna
• 15:35
  do?
• 15:35
  So
• 15:36
  I
• 15:36
  had
• 15:36
  XYZ
• 15:37
  that
• 15:37
  I
• 15:37
  need
• 15:37
  to
• 15:37
  do.
• 15:41
  And
• 15:42
  then
• 15:42
  the
• 15:42
  financial
• 15:42
  abuse
• 15:43
  started.
• 15:43
  He
• 15:43
  knew
• 15:44
  I
• 15:44
  was
• 15:44
  making
• 15:44
  money,
• 15:44
  so
• 15:45
  he
• 15:45
  stopped
• 15:45
  paying
• 15:45
  bills.
• 15:47
  And,
• 15:47
  like,
• 15:47
  the
• 15:48
  electricity
• 15:48
  gets
• 15:48
  turned
• 15:49
  off.
• 15:49
  I've
• 15:49
  got
• 15:49
  to
• 15:49
  get
• 15:49
  the
• 15:50
  electricity
• 15:50
  turned
• 15:50
  back
• 15:50
  on.
• 15:51
  We're
• 15:51
  in
• 15:51
  a
• 15:51
  huge
• 15:51
  house,
• 15:52
  like,
• 15:52
  4,500
• 15:53
  square
• 15:53
  feet,
• 15:54
  and
• 15:54
  the
• 15:54
  heirs
• 15:55
  were
• 15:55
  in.
• 15:55
  All
• 15:56
  these
• 15:56
  are
• 15:56
  huge
• 15:56
  bills,
• 15:57
  Right.
• 15:58
  So
• 15:59
  it
• 15:59
  started
• 15:59
  to
• 15:59
  drain
• 16:00
  my
• 16:00
  money
• 16:00
  that
• 16:00
  way.
• 16:01
  I'm
• 16:01
  always
• 16:01
  trying
• 16:01
  to
• 16:01
  cover
• 16:02
  the
• 16:02
  bills.
• 16:02
  He's
• 16:03
  not.
• 16:03
  I
• 16:03
  saw
• 16:04
  him
• 16:04
  not
• 16:04
  go
• 16:04
  to
• 16:04
  work
• 16:04
  for
• 16:05
  two
• 16:05
  months
• 16:06
  at
• 16:06
  one
• 16:07
  point,
• 16:07
  and
• 16:08
  that's
• 16:08
  when
• 16:08
  it
• 16:09
  started
• 16:09
  to
• 16:09
  feel
• 16:09
  hopeless.
• 16:09
  Like,
• 16:10
  how
• 16:10
  do
• 16:10
  I
• 16:10
  get
• 16:11
  out?
• 16:12
  And
• 16:13
  he
• 16:14
  actually.
• 16:16
  He
• 16:16
  got
• 16:16
  me
• 16:17
  arrested.
• 16:17
  People.
• 16:18
  Oh,
• 16:18
  girl.
• 16:19
  Oh,
• 16:19
  my
• 16:19
  God.
• 16:20
  So
• 16:20
  there's
• 16:20
  a
• 16:20
  thing
• 16:20
  called
• 16:20
  provoke
• 16:21
  and
• 16:21
  record
• 16:21
  for
• 16:22
  a
• 16:22
  narcissist,
• 16:22
  where
• 16:23
  they're
• 16:23
  gonna
• 16:23
  get
• 16:23
  you
• 16:23
  riled
• 16:24
  up,
• 16:24
  and
• 16:24
  then
• 16:24
  they're
• 16:24
  gonna
• 16:24
  turn
• 16:24
  on
• 16:25
  the
• 16:25
  camera
• 16:25
  and
• 16:25
  act
• 16:25
  very
• 16:25
  calm.
• 16:26
  Well,
• 16:27
  he
• 16:27
  did
• 16:27
  that
• 16:27
  when
• 16:27
  my
• 16:28
  dog
• 16:28
  was
• 16:28
  injured,
• 16:29
  and
• 16:29
  I
• 16:29
  pushed
• 16:29
  him
• 16:30
  out
• 16:30
  of
• 16:30
  the
• 16:30
  way.
• 16:30
  Cause
• 16:30
  he
• 16:30
  was
• 16:31
  in
• 16:31
  my
• 16:31
  face.
• 16:31
  He's
• 16:31
  6'
• 16:32
  4,
• 16:32
  220.
• 16:33
  I
• 16:33
  pushed
• 16:33
  him
• 16:33
  out
• 16:33
  of
• 16:34
  the
• 16:34
  way,
• 16:34
  didn't
• 16:34
  know
• 16:34
  he
• 16:35
  was
• 16:35
  recording,
• 16:35
  didn't
• 16:35
  care,
• 16:36
  came
• 16:36
  back.
• 16:37
  The
• 16:37
  police
• 16:37
  didn't
• 16:38
  believe
• 16:38
  him.
• 16:38
  But
• 16:38
  still,
• 16:39
  I
• 16:39
  got
• 16:39
  arrested.
• 16:40
  I've
• 16:40
  never
• 16:40
  even
• 16:40
  had
• 16:40
  a
• 16:40
  ticket.
• 16:41
  It
• 16:42
  all
• 16:42
  got
• 16:42
  dismissed.
• 16:42
  Everybody
• 16:43
  understood
• 16:43
  what
• 16:44
  was
• 16:44
  what,
• 16:44
  you
• 16:44
  know,
• 16:44
  I
• 16:45
  got
• 16:45
  let
• 16:45
  out.
• 16:46
  However,
• 16:48
  he
• 16:49
  then,
• 16:49
  on
• 16:49
  top
• 16:49
  of
• 16:49
  it,
• 16:49
  went
• 16:50
  to
• 16:50
  get
• 16:50
  a
• 16:50
  restraining
• 16:50
  order
• 16:51
  against
• 16:51
  me.
• 16:53
  But
• 16:53
  that
• 16:53
  gave
• 16:54
  me
• 16:54
  the
• 16:54
  opportunity
• 16:55
  to
• 16:56
  file
• 16:56
  for
• 16:56
  one
• 16:56
  against
• 16:57
  him.
• 16:57
  Because
• 16:57
  until
• 16:58
  that
• 16:58
  moment,
• 16:58
  I
• 16:59
  wasn't
• 16:59
  able
• 16:59
  to.
• 17:00
  Telling
• 17:01
  the
• 17:01
  court,
• 17:01
  oh,
• 17:02
  he
• 17:02
  set
• 17:02
  me
• 17:02
  on
• 17:02
  fire
• 17:03
  five
• 17:03
  years
• 17:03
  ago
• 17:03
  is
• 17:04
  not
• 17:04
  enough
• 17:04
  to
• 17:04
  get
• 17:04
  you
• 17:04
  a
• 17:05
  restraining
• 17:05
  order.
• 17:06
  Like,
• 17:06
  well,
• 17:07
  what
• 17:07
  has
• 17:07
  he
• 17:07
  done
• 17:07
  lately?
• 17:09
  That's
• 17:09
  the
• 17:10
  response.
• 17:10
  That's
• 17:11
  really.
• 17:11
  It's
• 17:11
  like,
• 17:11
  he
• 17:11
  hasn't
• 17:11
  done
• 17:12
  anything
• 17:12
  recently.
• 17:13
  So
• 17:14
  you're
• 17:14
  like,
• 17:14
  he
• 17:14
  tried
• 17:14
  to
• 17:14
  kill
• 17:15
  me.
• 17:15
  It's
• 17:15
  like,
• 17:15
  yeah,
• 17:16
  but
• 17:16
  he
• 17:16
  hasn't
• 17:17
  done
• 17:17
  anything
• 17:17
  recently.
• 17:17
  So
• 17:18
  you
• 17:18
  don't
• 17:18
  go
• 17:18
  to
• 17:18
  restraining
• 17:18
  order.
• 17:19
  But
• 17:19
  when
• 17:19
  he
• 17:20
  did
• 17:20
  that,
• 17:20
  then
• 17:20
  I
• 17:21
  could
• 17:21
  answer
• 17:22
  counterclaim.
• 17:22
  And
• 17:23
  that
• 17:23
  got
• 17:23
  him
• 17:23
  out
• 17:23
  of
• 17:23
  the
• 17:24
  house.
• 17:24
  And
• 17:25
  that
• 17:25
  was
• 17:25
  20,
• 17:25
  24.
• 17:27
  I
• 17:27
  was
• 17:27
  still
• 17:27
  stuck
• 17:28
  though,
• 17:28
  in
• 17:28
  Georgia,
• 17:28
  because
• 17:29
  now
• 17:29
  I'm
• 17:29
  in
• 17:29
  the
• 17:29
  house.
• 17:30
  I've
• 17:30
  got
• 17:30
  some
• 17:31
  temporary
• 17:31
  alimony.
• 17:32
  But
• 17:33
  what
• 17:34
  do
• 17:34
  I
• 17:34
  do
• 17:34
  now?
• 17:34
  You
• 17:35
  know,
• 17:35
  like,
• 17:35
  I
• 17:35
  can't
• 17:36
  stay
• 17:36
  here,
• 17:36
  but
• 17:36
  how
• 17:36
  do
• 17:37
  I
• 17:37
  save
• 17:37
  money
• 17:37
  to
• 17:37
  move?
• 17:38
  It
• 17:38
  was
• 17:38
  always
• 17:39
  just
• 17:39
  a
• 17:39
  challenge
• 17:40
  to
• 17:42
  get
• 17:42
  out
• 17:43
  until
• 17:43
  a
• 17:43
  nonprofit
• 17:44
  called
• 17:44
  Face
• 17:44
  Worried
• 17:45
  International
• 17:46
  saw
• 17:46
  me
• 17:47
  on
• 17:47
  an
• 17:47
  ad
• 17:48
  that
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  did
• 17:49
  on
• 17:50
  Instagram
• 17:50
  and
• 17:51
  said,
• 17:51
  hey,
• 17:51
  you
• 17:52
  know,
• 17:52
  we
• 17:52
  could
• 17:52
  do
• 17:52
  some
• 17:52
  work
• 17:52
  around
• 17:53
  your
• 17:53
  nose
• 17:53
  and
• 17:53
  your
• 17:53
  eyes.
• 17:54
  And
• 17:54
  we
• 17:54
  have
• 17:54
  a
• 17:54
  place
• 17:55
  for
• 17:55
  you
• 17:55
  to
• 17:55
  stay
• 17:55
  in
• 17:56
  Los
• 17:57
  Angeles.
• 17:57
  You
• 17:57
  can
• 17:58
  stay
• 17:58
  for
• 17:58
  free,
• 17:58
  you
• 17:59
  and
• 17:59
  your
• 17:59
  dog.
• 18:00
  That's
• 18:00
  how
• 18:00
  I
• 18:00
  got
• 18:01
  out.
• 18:02
  And
• 18:02
  that's
• 18:02
  how
• 18:02
  you
• 18:02
  did
• 18:03
  it.
• 18:03
  That's
• 18:03
  how
• 18:03
  you
• 18:03
  did
• 18:03
  it.
• 18:04
  You.
• 18:04
  I
• 18:04
  just
• 18:05
  said
• 18:05
  yes.
• 18:05
  Yeah,
• 18:05
  you
• 18:06
  just
• 18:06
  said
• 18:06
  that's
• 18:06
  it.
• 18:06
  It
• 18:07
  was
• 18:07
  just
• 18:07
  like.
• 18:08
  I
• 18:08
  mean,
• 18:09
  it
• 18:09
  was
• 18:09
  a
• 18:09
  crazy
• 18:09
  thing
• 18:10
  to
• 18:10
  do.
• 18:10
  I
• 18:10
  didn't
• 18:10
  have
• 18:10
  nostrils
• 18:11
  at
• 18:11
  the
• 18:11
  time,
• 18:12
  so
• 18:13
  I
• 18:13
  mean,
• 18:13
  of
• 18:13
  course
• 18:13
  I
• 18:14
  would
• 18:14
  like
• 18:14
  to
• 18:14
  have
• 18:14
  them,
• 18:15
  but
• 18:15
  I
• 18:15
  wasn't
• 18:15
  thinking
• 18:16
  of
• 18:16
  having
• 18:16
  surgery.
• 18:17
  But
• 18:18
  I
• 18:18
  literally.
• 18:19
  I
• 18:19
  had
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  meeting
• 18:20
  with
• 18:20
  the
• 18:21
  executive
• 18:21
  director.
• 18:22
  She
• 18:22
  told
• 18:23
  me
• 18:23
  they
• 18:23
  could
• 18:23
  help
• 18:23
  me
• 18:24
  because
• 18:24
  I
• 18:24
  thought
• 18:24
  we
• 18:24
  were
• 18:24
  meeting
• 18:25
  about
• 18:25
  me
• 18:25
  being
• 18:25
  like
• 18:26
  a
• 18:26
  brand
• 18:26
  ambassador.
• 18:27
  I
• 18:27
  didn't
• 18:27
  know
• 18:27
  they
• 18:27
  wanted
• 18:27
  to
• 18:27
  help
• 18:28
  me.
• 18:29
  And
• 18:29
  when
• 18:30
  she
• 18:30
  said
• 18:30
  it,
• 18:30
  I
• 18:30
  just
• 18:31
  said
• 18:31
  yes.
• 18:31
  And
• 18:32
  40
• 18:32
  days
• 18:32
  and
• 18:33
  40
• 18:33
  nights
• 18:33
  later,
• 18:33
  we
• 18:34
  were
• 18:34
  in
• 18:34
  LA.
• 18:35
  I
• 18:35
  packed
• 18:35
  up
• 18:36
  what
• 18:36
  I
• 18:36
  could
• 18:36
  into
• 18:36
  a
• 18:36
  pod
• 18:38
  and
• 18:38
  put
• 18:38
  it
• 18:38
  in
• 18:38
  storage.
• 18:39
  And
• 18:40
  then
• 18:41
  I
• 18:41
  couldn't
• 18:41
  fly
• 18:41
  with
• 18:42
  my
• 18:42
  dog.
• 18:42
  Cause
• 18:42
  he's
• 18:43
  giant.
• 18:43
  He's
• 18:44
  126
• 18:45
  pounds.
• 18:45
  So
• 18:45
  they
• 18:45
  flew
• 18:46
  one
• 18:47
  of
• 18:47
  my
• 18:47
  friends
• 18:47
  from
• 18:48
  Los
• 18:48
  Angeles
• 18:48
  to
• 18:48
  Atlanta,
• 18:49
  rented
• 18:50
  us
• 18:50
  a
• 18:50
  car
• 18:50
  and
• 18:50
  we
• 18:50
  drove
• 18:51
  back
• 18:51
  across
• 18:52
  the
• 18:52
  country.
• 18:52
  So
• 18:53
  what
• 18:53
  do
• 18:53
  you
• 18:53
  think
• 18:53
  was
• 18:54
  holding
• 18:54
  you
• 18:54
  back
• 18:54
  from
• 18:54
  saying
• 18:55
  yes
• 18:57
  earlier?
• 18:57
  From
• 18:58
  just
• 18:58
  getting
• 18:58
  out?
• 18:59
  Just
• 18:59
  the
• 19:00
  fear
• 19:00
  of,
• 19:01
  you
• 19:02
  know,
• 19:02
  I'm
• 19:02
  53
• 19:03
  and
• 19:03
  I.
• 19:03
  Until
• 19:04
  last
• 19:04
  year,
• 19:04
  I'd
• 19:04
  never
• 19:05
  lived
• 19:05
  on
• 19:05
  my
• 19:05
  own
• 19:05
  because
• 19:06
  I'd
• 19:06
  been
• 19:06
  in
• 19:06
  my
• 19:06
  grandparents
• 19:07
  house.
• 19:07
  First
• 19:07
  husband,
• 19:09
  kids.
• 19:09
  Met
• 19:09
  the
• 19:09
  second
• 19:10
  husband
• 19:10
  very
• 19:10
  shortly
• 19:11
  thereafter.
• 19:12
  Quirrel
• 19:12
  ran,
• 19:12
  which
• 19:12
  it
• 19:13
  always
• 19:13
  is.
• 19:14
  So
• 19:14
  I
• 19:14
  didn't
• 19:14
  know
• 19:14
  I
• 19:14
  could
• 19:14
  do
• 19:15
  it
• 19:15
  by
• 19:15
  myself.
• 19:16
  That
• 19:16
  fear,
• 19:17
  and
• 19:17
  that's
• 19:17
  what
• 19:18
  keeps
• 19:18
  a
• 19:18
  lot
• 19:18
  of
• 19:18
  us
• 19:19
  in,
• 19:19
  you
• 19:20
  know,
• 19:20
  we
• 19:20
  choose
• 19:20
  a
• 19:20
  familiar
• 19:21
  hell
• 19:22
  over,
• 19:22
  you
• 19:23
  know,
• 19:23
  over
• 19:24
  what
• 19:24
  may
• 19:24
  be.
• 19:25
  Isn't
• 19:25
  that
• 19:25
  crazy?
• 19:26
  It's
• 19:26
  like
• 19:26
  the.
• 19:26
  It's
• 19:26
  almost
• 19:27
  like
• 19:27
  part
• 19:27
  of
• 19:27
  your
• 19:27
  comfort
• 19:28
  zone.
• 19:28
  Like
• 19:28
  in
• 19:28
  a
• 19:28
  way
• 19:28
  as
• 19:29
  bad
• 19:29
  as
• 19:29
  it
• 19:29
  is.
• 19:30
  Right.
• 19:30
  At
• 19:31
  least
• 19:31
  you
• 19:31
  know
• 19:31
  what
• 19:31
  it
• 19:32
  is.
• 19:32
  You
• 19:32
  know,
• 19:32
  it's
• 19:33
  familiar.
• 19:33
  You
• 19:33
  know,
• 19:34
  it
• 19:34
  could
• 19:34
  get
• 19:34
  worse
• 19:35
  in
• 19:35
  your
• 19:35
  mind,
• 19:36
  but
• 19:36
  it
• 19:36
  really
• 19:36
  can't.
• 19:37
  Yeah,
• 19:37
  no,
• 19:37
  it
• 19:37
  really
• 19:38
  can't.
• 19:38
  It
• 19:38
  really
• 19:38
  can't.
• 19:39
  So
• 19:40
  as
• 19:40
  you're
• 19:40
  going
• 19:40
  through
• 19:40
  like
• 19:41
  the
• 19:41
  healing
• 19:41
  process
• 19:42
  as
• 19:42
  well,
• 19:43
  what
• 19:43
  was
• 19:45
  harder
• 19:45
  for
• 19:45
  you
• 19:45
  was
• 19:45
  it
• 19:46
  the
• 19:46
  emotional
• 19:46
  Scars,
• 19:47
  the
• 19:48
  feeling,
• 19:48
  physical
• 19:48
  scars.
• 19:49
  I
• 19:49
  mean,
• 19:49
  what.
• 19:50
  What.
• 19:50
  How
• 19:50
  did
• 19:50
  that
• 19:50
  look?
• 19:51
  I
• 19:51
  think
• 19:51
  that
• 19:51
  the
• 19:52
  emotional
• 19:53
  scars
• 19:53
  are
• 19:53
  much
• 19:54
  worse.
• 19:54
  You
• 19:54
  know,
• 19:54
  of
• 19:55
  course,
• 19:55
  initially
• 19:55
  it
• 19:56
  was
• 19:56
  the
• 19:56
  physical
• 19:57
  because
• 19:57
  I
• 19:57
  had
• 19:57
  a
• 19:57
  lot
• 19:58
  of.
• 19:59
  There
• 19:59
  was
• 19:59
  a
• 19:59
  lot
• 20:00
  happening.
• 20:00
  You
• 20:00
  know,
• 20:00
  you
• 20:00
  don't
• 20:01
  have
• 20:01
  nose,
• 20:01
  your
• 20:01
  mouth
• 20:01
  doesn't
• 20:02
  close.
• 20:02
  They've
• 20:02
  recreated
• 20:03
  me
• 20:04
  completely.
• 20:08
  So
• 20:08
  that
• 20:08
  was
• 20:08
  definitely
• 20:09
  my
• 20:09
  focus
• 20:09
  in
• 20:10
  the
• 20:10
  beginning.
• 20:10
  And
• 20:10
  that
• 20:10
  took
• 20:11
  a
• 20:11
  few
• 20:11
  years
• 20:11
  just
• 20:11
  to
• 20:11
  overcome
• 20:12
  that.
• 20:13
  And
• 20:13
  I
• 20:13
  didn't
• 20:14
  know
• 20:14
  why,
• 20:14
  but
• 20:14
  I
• 20:14
  felt
• 20:15
  more
• 20:16
  confident
• 20:17
  than
• 20:17
  I
• 20:17
  did
• 20:17
  before
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  got
• 20:18
  burned.
• 20:18
  Isn't
• 20:19
  that
• 20:19
  amazing?
• 20:19
  I
• 20:20
  didn't
• 20:20
  know.
• 20:20
  Yeah.
• 20:20
  Wow.
• 20:21
  Wow.
• 20:22
  You
• 20:22
  just.
• 20:22
  I
• 20:23
  just.
• 20:23
  You're
• 20:24
  like
• 20:24
  a
• 20:24
  different
• 20:24
  person
• 20:25
  now
• 20:25
  completely.
• 20:26
  You
• 20:26
  know
• 20:27
  when
• 20:27
  they
• 20:27
  say
• 20:27
  trial
• 20:27
  by
• 20:28
  fire
• 20:28
  or
• 20:28
  forged
• 20:29
  in
• 20:29
  fire,
• 20:30
  and
• 20:31
  a
• 20:31
  lot
• 20:31
  of
• 20:31
  us,
• 20:32
  you
• 20:32
  know,
• 20:32
  do
• 20:32
  it.
• 20:33
  Not
• 20:33
  literally
• 20:34
  like
• 20:34
  I
• 20:34
  did,
• 20:35
  but
• 20:35
  it
• 20:35
  really
• 20:36
  is
• 20:37
  a
• 20:37
  change
• 20:37
  if
• 20:37
  you
• 20:38
  can
• 20:38
  just
• 20:38
  get
• 20:38
  to
• 20:38
  the
• 20:39
  other
• 20:39
  side.
• 20:40
  That's
• 20:40
  what
• 20:40
  I
• 20:41
  always
• 20:41
  try
• 20:41
  to
• 20:41
  encourage.
• 20:42
  And
• 20:42
  I
• 20:42
  know
• 20:42
  it's
• 20:42
  hard
• 20:43
  to
• 20:43
  walk
• 20:44
  out.
• 20:44
  I
• 20:44
  often
• 20:44
  say
• 20:45
  I
• 20:45
  don't
• 20:45
  know
• 20:45
  if
• 20:45
  I
• 20:45
  ever
• 20:46
  would
• 20:46
  have
• 20:46
  gotten
• 20:46
  out
• 20:46
  if
• 20:47
  he
• 20:47
  hadn't
• 20:47
  done
• 20:47
  that.
• 20:48
  And
• 20:49
  I
• 20:49
  was
• 20:49
  miserable.
• 20:51
  I
• 20:51
  can't,
• 20:52
  you
• 20:52
  know.
• 20:52
  So
• 20:52
  those
• 20:52
  emotional
• 20:53
  scars
• 20:53
  are
• 20:54
  still
• 20:54
  popping
• 20:54
  up
• 20:55
  because
• 20:56
  I
• 20:56
  didn't
• 20:56
  even
• 20:56
  know
• 20:56
  I
• 20:56
  was
• 20:57
  a
• 20:57
  domestic
• 20:57
  violence
• 20:57
  survivor.
• 20:58
  I
• 20:59
  thought,
• 20:59
  okay,
• 21:00
  I
• 21:00
  got
• 21:00
  attacked.
• 21:00
  He
• 21:01
  set
• 21:01
  me
• 21:01
  on
• 21:01
  fire
• 21:01
  even
• 21:01
  after
• 21:02
  I
• 21:02
  remembered.
• 21:03
  But
• 21:03
  the
• 21:03
  words
• 21:03
  domestic
• 21:04
  violence,
• 21:04
  it
• 21:05
  took
• 21:05
  me
• 21:05
  a
• 21:05
  long
• 21:06
  time.
• 21:06
  It
• 21:07
  was
• 21:07
  like
• 21:07
  20,
• 21:07
  24
• 21:08
  when
• 21:08
  I
• 21:08
  was
• 21:08
  like,
• 21:08
  okay,
• 21:09
  I'm
• 21:09
  a.
• 21:10
  That
• 21:10
  was
• 21:10
  domestic
• 21:11
  violence
• 21:11
  the
• 21:11
  whole
• 21:11
  time.
• 21:12
  Was
• 21:12
  it
• 21:12
  just
• 21:13
  too
• 21:13
  heavy,
• 21:13
  too
• 21:13
  hard
• 21:14
  to
• 21:14
  kind
• 21:14
  of,
• 21:14
  you
• 21:15
  know,
• 21:15
  really
• 21:15
  put.
• 21:16
  Put
• 21:16
  those
• 21:16
  words
• 21:17
  to
• 21:17
  what
• 21:17
  happened?
• 21:18
  Yeah,
• 21:18
  I
• 21:19
  mean,
• 21:19
  it
• 21:20
  really
• 21:20
  was,
• 21:20
  because
• 21:21
  I.
• 21:22
  I
• 21:22
  don't
• 21:22
  know,
• 21:22
  it's
• 21:23
  odd
• 21:23
  just
• 21:23
  thinking,
• 21:23
  okay,
• 21:24
  well,
• 21:24
  he
• 21:24
  attacked
• 21:25
  me.
• 21:25
  But
• 21:25
  when
• 21:26
  you
• 21:26
  say
• 21:26
  domestic
• 21:27
  violence
• 21:27
  and
• 21:27
  then
• 21:28
  you
• 21:28
  add
• 21:28
  in
• 21:29
  all
• 21:29
  those
• 21:30
  horrible
• 21:30
  feelings
• 21:31
  for
• 21:31
  the
• 21:32
  15
• 21:32
  years
• 21:32
  before,
• 21:34
  the
• 21:34
  misery,
• 21:35
  the
• 21:35
  anxiety
• 21:36
  that
• 21:36
  fight
• 21:36
  or
• 21:37
  flight,
• 21:37
  the,
• 21:38
  you
• 21:38
  know,
• 21:38
  you
• 21:39
  feel.
• 21:40
  I
• 21:41
  think
• 21:41
  that's
• 21:41
  worse.
• 21:42
  I
• 21:43
  do.
• 21:43
  I
• 21:43
  think
• 21:43
  that
• 21:43
  emotional
• 21:44
  aspect
• 21:44
  is.
• 21:45
  Is
• 21:45
  worse
• 21:45
  than
• 21:45
  the
• 21:46
  physical.
• 21:46
  Much
• 21:46
  harder.
• 21:47
  It's
• 21:47
  like
• 21:47
  the
• 21:47
  scars
• 21:47
  you
• 21:48
  don't
• 21:48
  see,
• 21:48
  you
• 21:48
  know,
• 21:48
  that's
• 21:49
  what's
• 21:49
  inside.
• 21:50
  And,
• 21:50
  yeah,
• 21:51
  it's
• 21:51
  cutting.
• 21:52
  It's
• 21:52
  deep,
• 21:53
  right?
• 21:53
  It's
• 21:54
  very
• 21:54
  deep.
• 21:56
  So
• 21:56
  what
• 21:56
  part
• 21:57
  of
• 21:57
  you
• 21:58
  remained
• 21:59
  untouched
• 22:00
  through
• 22:00
  all
• 22:00
  of
• 22:01
  this
• 22:01
  process?
• 22:01
  What
• 22:01
  is
• 22:01
  something
• 22:02
  the
• 22:02
  fire
• 22:02
  did
• 22:03
  not
• 22:03
  take
• 22:04
  from
• 22:04
  you?
• 22:05
  My
• 22:05
  joy
• 22:06
  and
• 22:06
  my
• 22:07
  optimism.
• 22:08
  It's
• 22:08
  important
• 22:09
  that
• 22:09
  you
• 22:09
  not
• 22:10
  let
• 22:10
  the
• 22:11
  negativity
• 22:11
  change
• 22:12
  who
• 22:12
  you
• 22:12
  are.
• 22:13
  I
• 22:13
  still
• 22:14
  trust
• 22:15
  people.
• 22:15
  Even
• 22:15
  I
• 22:16
  get
• 22:16
  so
• 22:16
  mad
• 22:16
  at
• 22:16
  myself.
• 22:18
  Right.
• 22:18
  For
• 22:19
  I'll
• 22:19
  be
• 22:19
  like,
• 22:19
  why
• 22:20
  do
• 22:20
  I
• 22:20
  insist
• 22:21
  on
• 22:21
  trusting?
• 22:22
  Right?
• 22:22
  I
• 22:23
  said,
• 22:23
  why
• 22:23
  do
• 22:23
  I
• 22:24
  insist
• 22:24
  on
• 22:24
  doing
• 22:25
  this
• 22:25
  until.
• 22:26
  Until
• 22:26
  someone
• 22:26
  shows
• 22:27
  me
• 22:27
  otherwise.
• 22:27
  And
• 22:28
  I
• 22:28
  was
• 22:28
  saying
• 22:28
  that
• 22:29
  to
• 22:29
  A
• 22:29
  friend.
• 22:29
  And
• 22:30
  she's
• 22:31
  like,
• 22:31
  because
• 22:32
  you
• 22:32
  didn't
• 22:32
  let
• 22:32
  it
• 22:32
  change
• 22:33
  you,
• 22:33
  because
• 22:34
  you
• 22:34
  didn't
• 22:34
  let
• 22:34
  the
• 22:34
  negativity
• 22:35
  change
• 22:35
  you.
• 22:36
  And
• 22:37
  I
• 22:37
  thought
• 22:38
  about
• 22:38
  that
• 22:38
  a
• 22:38
  lot
• 22:38
  and
• 22:38
  I
• 22:39
  was
• 22:39
  like,
• 22:39
  yeah,
• 22:39
  that
• 22:39
  is
• 22:40
  important.
• 22:40
  Don't
• 22:41
  let
• 22:41
  them
• 22:42
  change
• 22:42
  who
• 22:42
  you
• 22:43
  are
• 22:43
  at
• 22:43
  your
• 22:44
  core.
• 22:44
  And
• 22:45
  you
• 22:45
  know
• 22:45
  that.
• 22:45
  Really,
• 22:46
  I
• 22:46
  think
• 22:47
  that
• 22:47
  is
• 22:47
  part
• 22:47
  of
• 22:48
  your
• 22:48
  magic
• 22:48
  because
• 22:49
  that
• 22:50
  has
• 22:50
  allowed
• 22:51
  you
• 22:51
  to
• 22:51
  continue
• 22:51
  on
• 22:52
  and
• 22:52
  build
• 22:52
  this
• 22:52
  amazing
• 22:54
  platform
• 22:55
  Burn
• 22:55
  Beauty
• 22:55
  2018
• 22:56
  that
• 22:56
  you've
• 22:56
  built,
• 22:57
  which
• 22:57
  is.
• 22:58
  I
• 22:58
  mean,
• 22:59
  it's
• 22:59
  absolutely
• 22:59
  amazing,
• 23:00
  actually,
• 23:00
  Tonya,
• 23:01
  because
• 23:03
  I
• 23:03
  feel
• 23:03
  like
• 23:03
  so
• 23:03
  many
• 23:04
  people
• 23:04
  might
• 23:05
  shy
• 23:05
  away
• 23:06
  from
• 23:06
  what
• 23:06
  happened
• 23:07
  to
• 23:07
  them
• 23:07
  and
• 23:08
  maybe
• 23:08
  retreat
• 23:09
  or
• 23:09
  maybe
• 23:10
  just
• 23:10
  allow
• 23:11
  it
• 23:11
  to
• 23:11
  change
• 23:11
  them
• 23:12
  all
• 23:12
  the
• 23:12
  way.
• 23:13
  And
• 23:13
  it's
• 23:13
  like
• 23:13
  you've
• 23:13
  done
• 23:14
  the
• 23:14
  opposite.
• 23:14
  You've
• 23:14
  run
• 23:14
  towards
• 23:15
  it.
• 23:15
  You've
• 23:16
  put
• 23:16
  it
• 23:16
  out
• 23:17
  there
• 23:17
  for
• 23:17
  people
• 23:17
  to
• 23:17
  see,
• 23:18
  and
• 23:18
  you've
• 23:19
  really.
• 23:19
  So
• 23:20
  talk
• 23:20
  to
• 23:20
  me
• 23:21
  about
• 23:21
  that.
• 23:21
  Why
• 23:21
  was
• 23:21
  it
• 23:21
  important
• 23:22
  for
• 23:22
  you
• 23:22
  to
• 23:23
  kind
• 23:23
  of
• 23:23
  put
• 23:24
  it
• 23:24
  all
• 23:24
  out
• 23:24
  there?
• 23:25
  Well,
• 23:25
  for
• 23:26
  variety
• 23:26
  of
• 23:27
  reasons.
• 23:27
  Number
• 23:27
  one,
• 23:28
  he's
• 23:28
  not
• 23:28
  in
• 23:28
  jail.
• 23:29
  My
• 23:30
  biggest
• 23:30
  fear
• 23:31
  is
• 23:31
  he's
• 23:32
  going
• 23:32
  to
• 23:32
  do
• 23:32
  this
• 23:33
  to
• 23:33
  somebody
• 23:33
  else.
• 23:33
  Or
• 23:34
  how
• 23:34
  was
• 23:34
  he
• 23:34
  not
• 23:34
  in
• 23:34
  jail,
• 23:35
  by
• 23:35
  the
• 23:35
  way?
• 23:35
  Oh,
• 23:35
  well,
• 23:36
  because
• 23:36
  it
• 23:36
  was
• 23:37
  when
• 23:37
  I
• 23:37
  asked
• 23:37
  him,
• 23:38
  when
• 23:38
  I
• 23:38
  asked
• 23:38
  the
• 23:38
  police
• 23:38
  to
• 23:39
  reopen
• 23:39
  the
• 23:39
  case.
• 23:40
  Just
• 23:41
  never
• 23:41
  heard
• 23:41
  back.
• 23:42
  It's
• 23:42
  just
• 23:42
  like,
• 23:42
  no
• 23:43
  matter.
• 23:43
  I've
• 23:43
  checked.
• 23:44
  I
• 23:44
  checked.
• 23:44
  It's
• 23:44
  up
• 23:45
  to
• 23:45
  the
• 23:45
  state
• 23:45
  and
• 23:46
  the
• 23:47
  prosecutors
• 23:48
  for
• 23:48
  what
• 23:49
  they
• 23:49
  think
• 23:49
  they
• 23:49
  can.
• 23:51
  What
• 23:51
  they
• 23:51
  think
• 23:51
  they
• 23:51
  can
• 23:52
  prove.
• 23:52
  And
• 23:53
  you
• 23:53
  need
• 23:53
  to
• 23:53
  call
• 23:53
  it
• 23:54
  attempted
• 23:54
  murder,
• 23:54
  which
• 23:55
  is
• 23:55
  a
• 23:55
  crime
• 23:55
  in
• 23:55
  Georgia,
• 23:56
  believe
• 23:56
  it
• 23:56
  or
• 23:56
  not.
• 23:56
  That
• 23:57
  is
• 23:57
  not
• 23:57
  a
• 23:57
  crime
• 23:57
  in
• 23:57
  every
• 23:58
  state.
• 23:59
  It's
• 23:59
  not
• 23:59
  called
• 23:59
  attempted
• 24:00
  murder.
• 24:00
  You
• 24:00
  would
• 24:00
  call
• 24:00
  it
• 24:00
  aggravated
• 24:01
  assault,
• 24:02
  because
• 24:02
  aggravated
• 24:03
  assault
• 24:03
  is
• 24:04
  a
• 24:04
  whole
• 24:04
  crime.
• 24:05
  Attempted
• 24:05
  murder
• 24:06
  indicates
• 24:06
  half
• 24:07
  a
• 24:07
  crime
• 24:07
  and
• 24:08
  the
• 24:08
  sentence
• 24:08
  could
• 24:09
  be
• 24:09
  less.
• 24:10
  But
• 24:10
  most
• 24:11
  states
• 24:11
  want
• 24:11
  to
• 24:11
  prosecute
• 24:12
  it
• 24:12
  as
• 24:12
  aggravated
• 24:13
  assault,
• 24:13
  and
• 24:13
  that
• 24:14
  has
• 24:14
  usually
• 24:15
  a
• 24:15
  4.
• 24:16
  Your
• 24:16
  statute
• 24:17
  of
• 24:17
  limitations.
• 24:19
  There
• 24:19
  should
• 24:19
  be
• 24:19
  no
• 24:19
  statute
• 24:20
  of
• 24:20
  limitations.
• 24:20
  There
• 24:20
  should
• 24:20
  be
• 24:20
  none
• 24:21
  at
• 24:21
  all.
• 24:22
  I'll
• 24:22
  be
• 24:22
  campaigning
• 24:23
  for
• 24:23
  that
• 24:23
  because
• 24:24
  that's
• 24:24
  ridiculous.
• 24:25
  Is
• 24:25
  that
• 24:25
  something
• 24:25
  I
• 24:25
  would
• 24:25
  like
• 24:26
  no
• 24:26
  statute.
• 24:27
  Yes.
• 24:27
  I
• 24:27
  would
• 24:27
  like
• 24:27
  no
• 24:28
  statute
• 24:28
  of
• 24:28
  limitations
• 24:29
  in
• 24:30
  domestic
• 24:31
  violence
• 24:31
  or
• 24:32
  however
• 24:32
  it
• 24:32
  can
• 24:33
  be
• 24:33
  written,
• 24:34
  because
• 24:34
  it
• 24:34
  is
• 24:35
  so
• 24:35
  often
• 24:36
  that
• 24:36
  we
• 24:36
  don't
• 24:37
  come
• 24:37
  out
• 24:37
  and
• 24:38
  speak
• 24:38
  about
• 24:38
  it.
• 24:39
  I
• 24:39
  did,
• 24:40
  number
• 24:40
  one,
• 24:40
  because
• 24:41
  of
• 24:41
  that.
• 24:42
  And
• 24:42
  number
• 24:43
  two,
• 24:43
  because
• 24:43
  just
• 24:44
  of
• 24:44
  what
• 24:44
  my
• 24:44
  platform
• 24:45
  is,
• 24:46
  and
• 24:47
  I've
• 24:48
  always
• 24:48
  been
• 24:48
  transparent.
• 24:49
  Also,
• 24:50
  it
• 24:50
  gives
• 24:50
  me
• 24:51
  power.
• 24:51
  I
• 24:51
  think
• 24:52
  that
• 24:52
  our
• 24:52
  truth
• 24:52
  is
• 24:53
  our
• 24:53
  power.
• 24:54
  When
• 24:55
  you
• 24:55
  speak
• 24:55
  out
• 24:56
  and
• 24:56
  you
• 24:57
  say
• 24:57
  whatever
• 24:57
  it
• 24:58
  is,
• 24:58
  no
• 24:58
  matter
• 24:58
  how
• 24:59
  ugly
• 24:59
  or
• 24:59
  dirty
• 25:00
  or
• 25:00
  whatever
• 25:00
  it
• 25:01
  is,
• 25:02
  there's
• 25:03
  nothing
• 25:03
  anybody
• 25:04
  can
• 25:04
  ever
• 25:04
  do
• 25:04
  to
• 25:04
  you.
• 25:04
  No.
• 25:05
  And
• 25:05
  you're
• 25:05
  helping
• 25:05
  people
• 25:06
  like
• 25:06
  you're
• 25:06
  helping.
• 25:07
  There's
• 25:07
  gotta
• 25:07
  be.
• 25:07
  There's
• 25:08
  so
• 25:08
  many
• 25:08
  other
• 25:08
  women
• 25:09
  who
• 25:10
  are
• 25:10
  in
• 25:10
  that
• 25:10
  same
• 25:10
  spot,
• 25:11
  you
• 25:11
  know,
• 25:12
  and
• 25:12
  that
• 25:13
  need
• 25:13
  the,
• 25:14
  you
• 25:14
  know,
• 25:14
  the
• 25:14
  assurance
• 25:15
  that
• 25:15
  things
• 25:15
  can
• 25:15
  be
• 25:16
  okay
• 25:16
  on
• 25:16
  the
• 25:16
  other
• 25:16
  side.
• 25:17
  Exactly
• 25:17
  right.
• 25:18
  That
• 25:18
  they
• 25:18
  can
• 25:18
  have
• 25:18
  the
• 25:18
  confidence
• 25:19
  to
• 25:19
  do
• 25:19
  it.
• 25:19
  Yes,
• 25:20
  right.
• 25:20
  That
• 25:21
  it
• 25:21
  is
• 25:21
  okay
• 25:22
  because
• 25:22
  it
• 25:22
  definitely
• 25:22
  doesn't
• 25:23
  feel
• 25:23
  like
• 25:23
  it
• 25:23
  when
• 25:23
  you're
• 25:24
  in
• 25:24
  it.
• 25:24
  It
• 25:25
  doesn't.
• 25:25
  They've
• 25:25
  trained
• 25:26
  you
• 25:26
  to
• 25:26
  not
• 25:27
  feel
• 25:27
  like
• 25:27
  you
• 25:27
  can
• 25:27
  survive
• 25:28
  without
• 25:28
  them
• 25:29
  and
• 25:29
  you're
• 25:29
  afraid.
• 25:31
  But
• 25:31
  I'm
• 25:31
  here
• 25:31
  to
• 25:32
  say
• 25:32
  you
• 25:32
  can.
• 25:33
  I'm
• 25:33
  also
• 25:33
  here
• 25:34
  to
• 25:34
  say
• 25:34
  again,
• 25:34
  your
• 25:35
  truth
• 25:35
  is
• 25:35
  your
• 25:35
  power.
• 25:36
  We
• 25:36
  are
• 25:36
  not
• 25:36
  going
• 25:36
  to
• 25:36
  live
• 25:37
  in
• 25:37
  their
• 25:37
  shame.
• 25:38
  I
• 25:39
  am
• 25:39
  not
• 25:39
  going
• 25:39
  to
• 25:39
  be
• 25:39
  ashamed
• 25:40
  of
• 25:40
  what
• 25:40
  he
• 25:40
  did
• 25:41
  to
• 25:41
  me.
• 25:42
  I'm
• 25:42
  not
• 25:42
  going
• 25:42
  to
• 25:42
  be
• 25:42
  judged
• 25:43
  by
• 25:43
  it.
• 25:43
  That's
• 25:44
  him.
• 25:45
  And
• 25:45
  that's
• 25:46
  a
• 25:46
  big
• 25:47
  part
• 25:47
  of
• 25:47
  domestic
• 25:48
  violence,
• 25:48
  is
• 25:49
  that
• 25:49
  we
• 25:49
  feel
• 25:50
  ashamed
• 25:51
  for
• 25:52
  what
• 25:52
  they've
• 25:52
  done.
• 25:53
  Or
• 25:53
  people
• 25:53
  will
• 25:53
  say,
• 25:53
  why
• 25:54
  didn't
• 25:54
  you
• 25:54
  leave?
• 25:55
  Well,
• 25:55
  ask
• 25:55
  any
• 25:56
  of
• 25:56
  the
• 25:56
  women
• 25:56
  who
• 25:56
  try
• 25:57
  to
• 25:57
  leave
• 25:57
  and
• 25:57
  don't
• 25:58
  make
• 25:58
  it
• 25:58
  because
• 25:58
  that's
• 25:58
  the
• 25:58
  most
• 25:59
  dangerous
• 25:59
  day
• 25:59
  you
• 25:59
  can
• 26:00
  be
• 26:00
  with
• 26:00
  one
• 26:00
  of
• 26:00
  those
• 26:00
  guys.
• 26:01
  That's
• 26:02
  when
• 26:02
  you,
• 26:03
  even
• 26:03
  if
• 26:03
  they
• 26:03
  haven't
• 26:03
  touched
• 26:04
  you,
• 26:04
  that's
• 26:04
  where
• 26:04
  you
• 26:05
  might
• 26:06
  lose
• 26:06
  your
• 26:06
  life.
• 26:08
  Why
• 26:08
  didn't
• 26:08
  you
• 26:08
  leave?
• 26:09
  Well,
• 26:09
  I
• 26:10
  have
• 26:10
  kids,
• 26:10
  I
• 26:10
  don't
• 26:11
  have
• 26:11
  any
• 26:11
  money.
• 26:11
  I'm
• 26:11
  isolated.
• 26:12
  I
• 26:12
  don't
• 26:12
  have
• 26:12
  my
• 26:13
  family
• 26:13
  anymore.
• 26:14
  It's
• 26:14
  not
• 26:14
  that
• 26:14
  easy
• 26:15
  as
• 26:15
  why
• 26:16
  didn't
• 26:16
  you
• 26:16
  leave?
• 26:17
  Rather
• 26:17
  than
• 26:18
  asking
• 26:18
  women
• 26:19
  that,
• 26:20
  we
• 26:20
  need
• 26:20
  to
• 26:20
  say,
• 26:21
  what
• 26:21
  can
• 26:21
  I
• 26:21
  do?
• 26:22
  Or
• 26:23
  not
• 26:23
  even
• 26:23
  what
• 26:23
  can
• 26:24
  I
• 26:24
  do?
• 26:24
  Offer
• 26:25
  suggestions.
• 26:26
  Don't
• 26:26
  leave
• 26:26
  it
• 26:26
  open
• 26:27
  ended.
• 26:27
  Can
• 26:28
  I
• 26:28
  help
• 26:28
  you?
• 26:28
  Can
• 26:29
  I
• 26:30
  pick
• 26:30
  up
• 26:30
  the
• 26:30
  kids?
• 26:30
  Can
• 26:30
  I?
• 26:31
  Whatever,
• 26:31
  just
• 26:31
  offer
• 26:32
  something
• 26:34
  if
• 26:34
  you
• 26:34
  want
• 26:34
  to
• 26:34
  help.
• 26:36
  A
• 26:36
  lot
• 26:36
  of
• 26:36
  times
• 26:38
  it
• 26:38
  won't
• 26:39
  work
• 26:39
  out.
• 26:40
  It
• 26:41
  takes
• 26:41
  time.
• 26:41
  It
• 26:42
  takes
• 26:42
  time.
• 26:42
  It
• 26:42
  takes
• 26:43
  time.
• 26:43
  And
• 26:43
  you
• 26:43
  have
• 26:43
  to
• 26:43
  be
• 26:43
  able
• 26:43
  to
• 26:44
  make
• 26:44
  that
• 26:44
  choice
• 26:44
  right
• 26:44
  for
• 26:45
  yourself.
• 26:45
  I
• 26:45
  mean,
• 26:45
  it's
• 26:46
  putting
• 26:46
  yourself
• 26:46
  first,
• 26:47
  essentially.
• 26:48
  You
• 26:48
  know,
• 26:48
  you
• 26:48
  have
• 26:48
  to
• 26:49
  get
• 26:49
  tired.
• 26:50
  And
• 26:51
  most
• 26:51
  of
• 26:51
  us
• 26:52
  get
• 26:52
  scared
• 26:52
  and
• 26:52
  realize,
• 26:53
  okay,
• 26:54
  I'm
• 26:54
  not
• 26:54
  going
• 26:55
  to
• 26:55
  make
• 26:55
  it
• 26:55
  if
• 26:56
  I
• 26:56
  stay
• 26:56
  with
• 26:56
  him.
• 26:57
  My
• 26:58
  kids
• 26:58
  are
• 26:58
  not
• 26:58
  going
• 26:59
  to
• 26:59
  have
• 26:59
  a
• 26:59
  mother
• 26:59
  if
• 27:00
  I
• 27:00
  stay
• 27:00
  with
• 27:00
  them.
• 27:01
  And
• 27:01
  I
• 27:01
  think
• 27:01
  I
• 27:02
  represent
• 27:02
  that.
• 27:02
  I
• 27:03
  think
• 27:03
  that
• 27:03
  when
• 27:04
  women
• 27:04
  see
• 27:05
  me
• 27:05
  and
• 27:05
  men,
• 27:06
  because
• 27:06
  it
• 27:06
  happens
• 27:06
  to
• 27:06
  a
• 27:06
  lot
• 27:07
  of
• 27:07
  men
• 27:07
  too,
• 27:07
  but
• 27:08
  when
• 27:08
  they
• 27:08
  see
• 27:08
  me,
• 27:11
  they
• 27:12
  can't
• 27:12
  not
• 27:13
  understand
• 27:14
  how
• 27:14
  bad
• 27:14
  it
• 27:15
  can
• 27:15
  get.
• 27:16
  There's
• 27:16
  a
• 27:16
  physical
• 27:17
  representation,
• 27:18
  you
• 27:18
  know,
• 27:18
  my
• 27:18
  words,
• 27:19
  my
• 27:19
  story
• 27:20
  will
• 27:20
  match
• 27:21
  a
• 27:21
  lot
• 27:21
  of
• 27:21
  theirs,
• 27:22
  but
• 27:23
  they
• 27:23
  really
• 27:24
  have
• 27:24
  to
• 27:24
  get
• 27:24
  it
• 27:25
  in
• 27:25
  their
• 27:25
  mind,
• 27:25
  like
• 27:25
  this
• 27:26
  is
• 27:26
  what
• 27:26
  can
• 27:26
  happen.
• 27:28
  I.
• 27:29
  You
• 27:29
  can't
• 27:29
  get
• 27:30
  around
• 27:30
  it.
• 27:31
  You
• 27:31
  can't,
• 27:31
  you
• 27:31
  can't,
• 27:32
  you
• 27:32
  can't
• 27:32
  get
• 27:32
  around
• 27:32
  it.
• 27:33
  So
• 27:33
  I
• 27:33
  think
• 27:34
  it's,
• 27:34
  you
• 27:34
  know,
• 27:34
  a
• 27:35
  Big
• 27:35
  part
• 27:35
  of
• 27:35
  the.
• 27:36
  I
• 27:36
  love
• 27:36
  it.
• 27:37
  It
• 27:37
  makes
• 27:37
  me
• 27:37
  smile.
• 27:37
  If
• 27:38
  you
• 27:38
  can
• 27:38
  do
• 27:38
  it,
• 27:38
  you
• 27:39
  know,.
• 27:39
  Like,
• 27:40
  you're
• 27:40
  a
• 27:40
  very
• 27:40
  bright
• 27:41
  light,
• 27:41
  which
• 27:41
  I
• 27:41
  love.
• 27:42
  I'm
• 27:42
  like,
• 27:42
  I
• 27:42
  feel
• 27:43
  the
• 27:43
  energy
• 27:43
  and
• 27:44
  the
• 27:44
  brightness.
• 27:44
  Yeah,
• 27:46
  I
• 27:46
  love
• 27:46
  that.
• 27:46
  I
• 27:47
  love
• 27:47
  that
• 27:47
  about
• 27:47
  you.
• 27:49
  But,
• 27:49
  you
• 27:50
  know,
• 27:50
  I
• 27:50
  love
• 27:50
  that
• 27:50
  also.
• 27:51
  You've
• 27:51
  named
• 27:51
  your
• 27:51
  platform
• 27:52
  burned
• 27:53
  beauty
• 27:53
  2018.
• 27:54
  So
• 27:54
  I
• 27:55
  really
• 27:55
  want
• 27:55
  to
• 27:55
  know,
• 27:57
  what
• 27:57
  is
• 27:58
  your
• 27:58
  definition
• 27:58
  of
• 27:59
  beauty
• 27:59
  now?
• 28:00
  Like,
• 28:01
  how
• 28:01
  do
• 28:01
  you
• 28:01
  feel
• 28:01
  about
• 28:02
  beauty?
• 28:02
  You
• 28:03
  know?
• 28:03
  And
• 28:03
  what
• 28:03
  do
• 28:03
  you
• 28:04
  want
• 28:04
  other
• 28:04
  women
• 28:04
  to
• 28:04
  know
• 28:04
  about
• 28:05
  beauty
• 28:05
  and
• 28:05
  confidence?
• 28:06
  Oh,
• 28:06
  my
• 28:06
  gosh.
• 28:08
  I
• 28:08
  had
• 28:08
  so
• 28:09
  little
• 28:09
  my
• 28:09
  whole
• 28:09
  life,
• 28:10
  and
• 28:10
  that's
• 28:10
  what
• 28:11
  set
• 28:11
  me
• 28:11
  up
• 28:12
  for
• 28:13
  all
• 28:13
  the
• 28:13
  men
• 28:14
  I
• 28:15
  was
• 28:15
  with.
• 28:16
  And
• 28:16
  I
• 28:16
  want
• 28:17
  women
• 28:17
  to
• 28:18
  know
• 28:18
  that
• 28:18
  it
• 28:18
  is
• 28:18
  inside
• 28:19
  you.
• 28:19
  You
• 28:20
  know,
• 28:20
  we
• 28:20
  love
• 28:20
  hair,
• 28:21
  and
• 28:21
  we
• 28:21
  love
• 28:21
  makeup,
• 28:22
  and,
• 28:23
  you
• 28:23
  know,
• 28:23
  I
• 28:24
  like
• 28:24
  pretty
• 28:24
  nails
• 28:25
  and
• 28:25
  all
• 28:25
  these
• 28:25
  things,
• 28:26
  but
• 28:26
  without
• 28:28
  doing
• 28:28
  the
• 28:29
  inner
• 28:29
  work,
• 28:30
  none
• 28:30
  of
• 28:30
  it
• 28:30
  will
• 28:30
  shine
• 28:31
  through,
• 28:32
  ever.
• 28:32
  You
• 28:33
  won't
• 28:33
  see
• 28:33
  it,
• 28:34
  and
• 28:34
  others
• 28:35
  won't
• 28:36
  see
• 28:36
  it,
• 28:36
  because
• 28:36
  I
• 28:36
  know
• 28:37
  if
• 28:37
  you're
• 28:38
  listening,
• 28:38
  you've
• 28:38
  seen
• 28:38
  a
• 28:39
  lot
• 28:39
  of
• 28:39
  people
• 28:39
  who
• 28:40
  should
• 28:40
  be
• 28:40
  are
• 28:41
  classically
• 28:42
  beautiful,
• 28:43
  but
• 28:43
  you
• 28:43
  look
• 28:43
  at
• 28:43
  them
• 28:44
  and
• 28:44
  you
• 28:44
  don't
• 28:45
  see
• 28:46
  beauty.
• 28:48
  That's.
• 28:49
  That's
• 28:50
  part
• 28:50
  of
• 28:50
  the
• 28:50
  definition,
• 28:51
  because
• 28:51
  so
• 28:51
  much
• 28:52
  of
• 28:52
  it
• 28:52
  is
• 28:52
  inside
• 28:53
  of
• 28:53
  you.
• 28:53
  It's
• 28:53
  got
• 28:54
  to
• 28:54
  radiate
• 28:54
  out.
• 28:54
  It
• 28:55
  has
• 28:55
  to.
• 28:55
  It
• 28:55
  starts
• 28:56
  on
• 28:56
  the
• 28:56
  inside,
• 28:56
  and
• 28:57
  it's
• 28:57
  not
• 28:57
  about
• 28:57
  makeup,
• 28:58
  even
• 28:58
  though
• 28:58
  I
• 28:58
  love
• 28:58
  it.
• 28:59
  I
• 29:00
  have
• 29:00
  a
• 29:00
  sign
• 29:00
  on
• 29:00
  my
• 29:00
  wall
• 29:01
  that
• 29:01
  says,
• 29:01
  makeup
• 29:01
  is
• 29:01
  our
• 29:02
  beauty
• 29:02
  of
• 29:02
  spirit.
• 29:03
  And
• 29:03
  it
• 29:04
  is.
• 29:04
  It
• 29:04
  starts
• 29:04
  on
• 29:04
  the
• 29:05
  outside,
• 29:05
  and
• 29:05
  then,
• 29:05
  of
• 29:06
  course,
• 29:06
  good
• 29:06
  hair.
• 29:06
  Yeah,
• 29:07
  yeah,
• 29:07
  but,
• 29:07
  you
• 29:07
  know,
• 29:08
  how
• 29:08
  about
• 29:08
  me
• 29:09
  and
• 29:09
  hair?
• 29:10
  No,
• 29:10
  no,
• 29:10
  no.
• 29:11
  No
• 29:11
  insults
• 29:11
  to
• 29:12
  that.
• 29:12
  But
• 29:12
  you've
• 29:13
  really
• 29:13
  got
• 29:13
  to
• 29:13
  do
• 29:13
  the
• 29:13
  inner
• 29:14
  work.
• 29:15
  You
• 29:15
  really
• 29:15
  have
• 29:15
  to
• 29:16
  love
• 29:16
  yourself.
• 29:16
  And
• 29:16
  in
• 29:17
  order
• 29:17
  to
• 29:17
  do
• 29:17
  that,
• 29:17
  I
• 29:17
  think
• 29:18
  you
• 29:18
  have
• 29:18
  to
• 29:18
  understand
• 29:20
  your
• 29:20
  part
• 29:20
  in
• 29:21
  situations
• 29:22
  so
• 29:22
  that
• 29:22
  you
• 29:22
  can
• 29:22
  heal
• 29:23
  them.
• 29:23
  And
• 29:23
  when
• 29:24
  I
• 29:24
  say
• 29:24
  your
• 29:24
  part
• 29:24
  in
• 29:25
  it,
• 29:25
  not
• 29:25
  your
• 29:25
  fault,
• 29:26
  but
• 29:27
  you
• 29:28
  have
• 29:28
  a
• 29:28
  part
• 29:29
  in
• 29:29
  everything
• 29:29
  except
• 29:30
  maybe
• 29:30
  a
• 29:30
  random
• 29:30
  violent
• 29:31
  crime.
• 29:32
  What
• 29:32
  is
• 29:32
  the
• 29:32
  part
• 29:32
  in
• 29:32
  it?
• 29:33
  Well,
• 29:33
  I
• 29:33
  didn't
• 29:34
  love
• 29:34
  myself.
• 29:35
  I
• 29:36
  was
• 29:37
  okay
• 29:37
  with
• 29:37
  someone
• 29:38
  treating
• 29:38
  me
• 29:39
  that
• 29:39
  way,
• 29:40
  so
• 29:40
  I'm
• 29:41
  going
• 29:41
  to
• 29:41
  heal
• 29:41
  that
• 29:42
  so
• 29:42
  no
• 29:42
  one
• 29:43
  can
• 29:43
  ever
• 29:43
  do
• 29:43
  that
• 29:43
  to
• 29:44
  me
• 29:44
  again.
• 29:46
  And,
• 29:46
  you
• 29:47
  know,
• 29:47
  you'll
• 29:47
  always
• 29:47
  have
• 29:47
  a
• 29:48
  part.
• 29:48
  And
• 29:48
  if
• 29:48
  you
• 29:48
  just
• 29:49
  go
• 29:49
  for
• 29:49
  that
• 29:50
  and
• 29:50
  sit
• 29:50
  with
• 29:50
  it,
• 29:51
  that
• 29:51
  helped
• 29:51
  me
• 29:52
  so
• 29:52
  much.
• 29:53
  Do
• 29:53
  you
• 29:53
  know
• 29:53
  the
• 29:53
  moment
• 29:54
  that
• 29:54
  you
• 29:54
  started
• 29:54
  loving
• 29:55
  yourself
• 29:55
  in
• 29:55
  that
• 29:56
  way,
• 29:56
  that.
• 29:56
  That
• 29:57
  was,
• 29:57
  like,
• 29:57
  the
• 29:57
  moment.
• 29:58
  Oh,
• 30:01
  you
• 30:01
  know
• 30:01
  what?
• 30:01
  It
• 30:01
  was
• 30:02
  probably
• 30:02
  a
• 30:02
  lot
• 30:02
  more
• 30:02
  recently
• 30:03
  than
• 30:04
  everyone
• 30:04
  would
• 30:04
  think,
• 30:05
  because,
• 30:05
  like,
• 30:06
  truly
• 30:06
  feeling
• 30:07
  it,
• 30:07
  you
• 30:07
  know,
• 30:07
  I
• 30:07
  felt
• 30:07
  confident
• 30:09
  after
• 30:09
  the
• 30:10
  burns.
• 30:10
  I
• 30:10
  don't.
• 30:11
  Again,
• 30:11
  I
• 30:11
  don't
• 30:11
  know
• 30:12
  why
• 30:12
  people
• 30:12
  were
• 30:12
  looking
• 30:12
  at
• 30:13
  me
• 30:13
  like
• 30:13
  crazy.
• 30:14
  And
• 30:14
  it
• 30:14
  was
• 30:14
  Hard.
• 30:15
  In
• 30:15
  the
• 30:16
  first
• 30:16
  couple
• 30:16
  of
• 30:16
  years,
• 30:16
  I
• 30:16
  didn't
• 30:17
  go
• 30:17
  out
• 30:17
  much,
• 30:17
  but
• 30:17
  it
• 30:17
  was
• 30:17
  also
• 30:18
  Covid,
• 30:18
  you
• 30:19
  know,
• 30:22
  But
• 30:22
  I
• 30:22
  felt
• 30:22
  confident
• 30:23
  then,
• 30:23
  but
• 30:23
  truly
• 30:24
  beautiful.
• 30:26
  I
• 30:26
  really
• 30:27
  think
• 30:27
  that
• 30:27
  came
• 30:28
  pretty
• 30:28
  recently
• 30:29
  after
• 30:30
  working
• 30:30
  with
• 30:31
  face
• 30:31
  forward
• 30:32
  and
• 30:32
  when
• 30:32
  they
• 30:33
  did
• 30:33
  my
• 30:33
  nose
• 30:35
  and
• 30:35
  they've
• 30:36
  done,
• 30:36
  you
• 30:36
  know,
• 30:36
  some
• 30:37
  injections
• 30:37
  in
• 30:37
  my
• 30:37
  face,
• 30:38
  and
• 30:38
  I
• 30:38
  can
• 30:38
  move
• 30:39
  my
• 30:39
  face
• 30:40
  and
• 30:41
  my
• 30:42
  eyes
• 30:42
  crinkle
• 30:42
  when
• 30:43
  I
• 30:43
  smile.
• 30:43
  Just
• 30:43
  things
• 30:44
  are
• 30:44
  coming
• 30:44
  back
• 30:44
  to
• 30:45
  normal.
• 30:46
  And
• 30:46
  I
• 30:46
  really
• 30:46
  just
• 30:47
  fell
• 30:47
  in
• 30:47
  love
• 30:47
  with
• 30:47
  that.
• 30:48
  And
• 30:48
  so
• 30:49
  that's
• 30:49
  like
• 30:49
  2020
• 30:51
  into
• 30:51
  24
• 30:52
  to
• 30:53
  the
• 30:53
  beginning
• 30:53
  of
• 30:53
  2025.
• 30:55
  And
• 30:55
  with
• 30:56
  that,
• 30:56
  I
• 30:56
  started
• 30:56
  to
• 30:56
  do
• 30:56
  a
• 30:57
  lot
• 30:57
  of
• 30:57
  things
• 30:57
  differently.
• 30:58
  I
• 30:58
  was
• 30:58
  able
• 30:58
  to
• 30:58
  then,
• 30:59
  Okay,
• 30:59
  I
• 30:59
  didn't
• 30:59
  lose
• 31:00
  a
• 31:00
  lot
• 31:00
  of
• 31:00
  weight.
• 31:00
  That
• 31:00
  was
• 31:00
  really
• 31:01
  weighing
• 31:01
  me
• 31:02
  down
• 31:02
  physically.
• 31:03
  The
• 31:03
  skin
• 31:03
  grafts,
• 31:04
  they
• 31:04
  don't
• 31:04
  stretch,
• 31:05
  so
• 31:05
  if
• 31:05
  you
• 31:05
  gain
• 31:06
  weight,
• 31:06
  it's
• 31:06
  painful.
• 31:07
  So
• 31:07
  things
• 31:08
  I
• 31:08
  had
• 31:08
  to
• 31:08
  do.
• 31:09
  And
• 31:09
  then
• 31:09
  I
• 31:09
  started
• 31:10
  to
• 31:10
  stand
• 31:10
  up
• 31:10
  straigh
• 31:12
  Right.
• 31:12
  I
• 31:12
  could
• 31:13
  feel
• 31:13
  it.
• 31:13
  And
• 31:14
  my
• 31:14
  nose
• 31:14
  is
• 31:14
  done,
• 31:15
  and
• 31:15
  people
• 31:15
  are,
• 31:16
  like,
• 31:17
  complimenting
• 31:17
  that.
• 31:18
  And
• 31:18
  then
• 31:18
  it's
• 31:18
  like,
• 31:18
  yeah.
• 31:20
  And
• 31:20
  the
• 31:20
  reflection
• 31:21
  in
• 31:21
  the
• 31:21
  mirror,
• 31:22
  I'm
• 31:22
  so
• 31:22
  happy
• 31:23
  with.
• 31:24
  That's
• 31:24
  amazing.
• 31:25
  Yeah.
• 31:26
  So
• 31:26
  it
• 31:26
  really.
• 31:26
  It
• 31:26
  took
• 31:26
  time.
• 31:27
  I
• 31:27
  guess
• 31:27
  that's
• 31:28
  the
• 31:28
  point.
• 31:28
  You
• 31:28
  know,
• 31:28
  you
• 31:28
  can.
• 31:29
  There's
• 31:29
  stages
• 31:29
  to
• 31:30
  it
• 31:30
  where,
• 31:30
  okay,
• 31:31
  I'm
• 31:31
  building
• 31:31
  my
• 31:31
  confidence.
• 31:31
  I'm
• 31:32
  feeling
• 31:32
  really
• 31:32
  good.
• 31:33
  But
• 31:33
  now
• 31:34
  you
• 31:34
  can't
• 31:34
  tell
• 31:34
  me
• 31:34
  nothing.
• 31:36
  Now
• 31:36
  we're
• 31:36
  done.
• 31:38
  You're
• 31:39
  like,
• 31:39
  I
• 31:39
  am
• 31:39
  gonna
• 31:39
  walk
• 31:40
  out
• 31:40
  there.
• 31:40
  And
• 31:40
  you
• 31:40
  should,
• 31:41
  by
• 31:41
  the
• 31:41
  way,
• 31:42
  I
• 31:42
  want
• 31:42
  you
• 31:42
  to
• 31:42
  get
• 31:42
  a
• 31:42
  modeling
• 31:43
  contract
• 31:43
  with
• 31:43
  Fenty.
• 31:44
  Oh,
• 31:44
  yeah.
• 31:46
  Rihanna.
• 31:47
  Riri.
• 31:49
  I'm
• 31:49
  like,
• 31:50
  you
• 31:50
  need
• 31:50
  to
• 31:50
  put
• 31:50
  this
• 31:50
  woman
• 31:51
  in
• 31:51
  your
• 31:51
  campaign.
• 31:52
  Hello.
• 31:53
  It's
• 31:54
  because
• 31:54
  I
• 31:54
  love
• 31:54
  her
• 31:54
  so
• 31:55
  much
• 31:55
  because
• 31:55
  those
• 31:56
  clothes
• 31:56
  were
• 31:56
  the
• 31:56
  only
• 31:57
  thing
• 31:57
  I
• 31:57
  could
• 31:57
  wear
• 31:58
  in
• 31:58
  the
• 31:59
  beginning.
• 31:59
  I
• 32:00
  couldn't
• 32:00
  even
• 32:00
  find
• 32:00
  a
• 32:00
  bra
• 32:01
  that
• 32:01
  would
• 32:01
  work
• 32:01
  because
• 32:02
  everything
• 32:02
  hurt
• 32:02
  me.
• 32:03
  Right?
• 32:04
  My
• 32:04
  skin.
• 32:05
  So
• 32:05
  I
• 32:05
  started
• 32:05
  wearing
• 32:06
  them
• 32:06
  because
• 32:06
  I
• 32:06
  had
• 32:06
  to
• 32:07
  think
• 32:07
  about,
• 32:07
  like,
• 32:07
  why
• 32:07
  is
• 32:08
  it
• 32:08
  that
• 32:08
  I'm
• 32:08
  so
• 32:08
  obsessed
• 32:09
  with
• 32:09
  this?
• 32:09
  That's
• 32:10
  why
• 32:10
  I
• 32:10
  put
• 32:10
  it
• 32:10
  on.
• 32:11
  Even
• 32:11
  sitting
• 32:11
  at
• 32:11
  home
• 32:11
  in
• 32:12
  a
• 32:12
  wheelchair,
• 32:13
  it
• 32:13
  made
• 32:13
  me
• 32:13
  feel
• 32:13
  feel
• 32:14
  good.
• 32:14
  As
• 32:14
  part
• 32:14
  of
• 32:14
  your
• 32:15
  recovery
• 32:15
  process.
• 32:15
  It
• 32:15
  was
• 32:16
  part
• 32:16
  of
• 32:16
  your
• 32:16
  healing.
• 32:17
  It
• 32:17
  made
• 32:17
  me
• 32:18
  feel
• 32:18
  cute.
• 32:18
  Amazing.
• 32:19
  Yes.
• 32:20
  And
• 32:20
  you
• 32:20
  are
• 32:20
  so
• 32:20
  cute.
• 32:21
  I
• 32:21
  was
• 32:21
  watching
• 32:22
  your
• 32:22
  social
• 32:22
  media.
• 32:22
  I'm
• 32:22
  like,
• 32:23
  okay.
• 32:23
  I'm
• 32:24
  like,
• 32:24
  you
• 32:25
  have
• 32:25
  got
• 32:25
  all
• 32:25
  the
• 32:26
  amazing
• 32:26
  looks.
• 32:26
  I'm
• 32:27
  like,
• 32:27
  okay,
• 32:27
  I
• 32:27
  need
• 32:27
  to
• 32:28
  go,
• 32:28
  like,
• 32:28
  hang
• 32:28
  out
• 32:28
  with
• 32:29
  Tanya
• 32:29
  more
• 32:29
  because
• 32:29
  this
• 32:30
  is.
• 32:30
  She's
• 32:30
  got
• 32:30
  it
• 32:30
  all
• 32:31
  down.
• 32:31
  That's
• 32:31
  what's
• 32:31
  starting
• 32:32
  to
• 32:32
  happen
• 32:32
  now.
• 32:32
  I'm
• 32:33
  really
• 32:33
  starting
• 32:33
  to
• 32:33
  enjoy
• 32:34
  it.
• 32:34
  See,
• 32:35
  that's
• 32:35
  amazing.
• 32:36
  Like,
• 32:36
  having
• 32:36
  that
• 32:36
  joy,
• 32:37
  like,
• 32:37
  you're
• 32:37
  saying,
• 32:38
  like,
• 32:38
  undiluted
• 32:39
  joy.
• 32:40
  My
• 32:40
  grandmother
• 32:40
  Always
• 32:40
  said,
• 32:41
  never
• 32:41
  let
• 32:41
  it
• 32:41
  steal
• 32:42
  your
• 32:42
  joy.
• 32:43
  That's
• 32:43
  the
• 32:43
  key.
• 32:43
  No
• 32:43
  matter
• 32:44
  what
• 32:44
  happens,
• 32:44
  never
• 32:45
  let
• 32:45
  it
• 32:45
  steal
• 32:45
  your
• 32:45
  joy.
• 32:46
  And
• 32:46
  you
• 32:46
  haven't.
• 32:47
  But
• 32:48
  I
• 32:48
  would
• 32:48
  say
• 32:48
  he
• 32:48
  was
• 32:49
  definitely
• 32:49
  stealing
• 32:49
  my
• 32:49
  joy
• 32:50
  during
• 32:50
  that
• 32:50
  emotional
• 32:51
  abuse
• 32:51
  time,
• 32:51
  because
• 32:52
  that's
• 32:53
  the
• 32:53
  biggest
• 32:53
  thing.
• 32:53
  There's
• 32:54
  no
• 32:54
  way
• 32:54
  to
• 32:54
  feel
• 32:55
  good
• 32:55
  during
• 32:55
  that.
• 32:56
  Yeah.
• 32:56
  That's
• 32:57
  like
• 32:58
  a.
• 32:59
  I
• 32:59
  mean,
• 33:00
  just
• 33:00
  the
• 33:00
  daily
• 33:01
  toll
• 33:01
  of
• 33:01
  it.
• 33:01
  Every
• 33:02
  day,
• 33:02
  day
• 33:02
  in,
• 33:02
  day
• 33:02
  out.
• 33:03
  Yeah.
• 33:03
  How
• 33:03
  does
• 33:03
  brain
• 33:04
  damage.
• 33:04
  It
• 33:04
  changes
• 33:05
  your
• 33:05
  brain.
• 33:05
  You're
• 33:05
  probably
• 33:05
  your
• 33:06
  chemistry,
• 33:06
  Right.
• 33:07
  Change
• 33:07
  your
• 33:07
  brain
• 33:08
  chemistry,
• 33:08
  it
• 33:09
  reduces
• 33:09
  your
• 33:10
  amygdala.
• 33:10
  It
• 33:10
  causes
• 33:11
  actual
• 33:11
  brain
• 33:11
  damage.
• 33:12
  The
• 33:12
  scans
• 33:12
  of
• 33:13
  women
• 33:14
  who've
• 33:14
  been
• 33:15
  through
• 33:15
  it
• 33:15
  look
• 33:15
  like
• 33:15
  that
• 33:15
  of
• 33:16
  combat
• 33:16
  veterans.
• 33:19
  Isn't
• 33:19
  that
• 33:20
  amazing?
• 33:20
  So
• 33:21
  the
• 33:21
  fact
• 33:21
  that
• 33:21
  brain
• 33:21
  damage
• 33:22
  doesn't
• 33:22
  have
• 33:22
  to
• 33:22
  happen
• 33:23
  in,
• 33:23
  like,
• 33:23
  one
• 33:23
  big.
• 33:24
  You
• 33:24
  know,
• 33:24
  we
• 33:24
  think
• 33:24
  of
• 33:25
  one
• 33:25
  big.
• 33:25
  Hit
• 33:25
  on
• 33:25
  the
• 33:25
  head,
• 33:26
  blunt
• 33:26
  force
• 33:26
  trauma
• 33:27
  like
• 33:27
  that,
• 33:28
  Right?
• 33:28
  Yeah.
• 33:28
  And
• 33:29
  the
• 33:29
  fact
• 33:30
  the
• 33:30
  studies
• 33:30
  show
• 33:30
  now
• 33:31
  it
• 33:31
  can
• 33:31
  be
• 33:31
  over
• 33:32
  time,
• 33:32
  a
• 33:32
  little
• 33:32
  bit
• 33:33
  at
• 33:33
  a
• 33:33
  time.
• 33:33
  And
• 33:33
  that's
• 33:34
  why
• 33:34
  you
• 33:34
  see
• 33:34
  women
• 33:35
  with
• 33:35
  such
• 33:35
  a
• 33:35
  higher
• 33:35
  incidence
• 33:36
  of
• 33:36
  Alzheimer's.
• 33:38
  Wow.
• 33:39
  It's
• 33:39
  just
• 33:39
  learning
• 33:39
  that
• 33:40
  in
• 33:40
  so
• 33:41
  much.
• 33:41
  Just
• 33:41
  so
• 33:42
  much.
• 33:42
  If
• 33:42
  they're
• 33:42
  with
• 33:43
  it,
• 33:43
  if
• 33:43
  they're
• 33:43
  with
• 33:43
  an
• 33:44
  emotionally
• 33:44
  abusive
• 33:45
  person.
• 33:46
  And
• 33:46
  then,
• 33:46
  you
• 33:46
  know,
• 33:47
  you
• 33:47
  see
• 33:47
  grandma
• 33:47
  who's
• 33:48
  been
• 33:48
  with
• 33:48
  grandpa
• 33:48
  forever,
• 33:49
  and
• 33:49
  he's
• 33:49
  never
• 33:49
  laid
• 33:50
  a
• 33:50
  hand
• 33:50
  on
• 33:50
  her.
• 33:50
  But
• 33:52
  maybe
• 33:53
  you
• 33:53
  don't
• 33:53
  know
• 33:53
  what's
• 33:54
  really
• 33:54
  happening.
• 33:55
  Emotional
• 33:55
  abuse
• 33:56
  is
• 33:57
  manipulation.
• 33:58
  It's
• 33:58
  not
• 33:58
  screaming.
• 34:00
  It's
• 34:00
  not.
• 34:00
  I
• 34:00
  mean,
• 34:00
  it
• 34:01
  can
• 34:01
  be,
• 34:02
  but
• 34:02
  it's
• 34:02
  more
• 34:02
  about
• 34:03
  making
• 34:03
  you
• 34:03
  doubt
• 34:03
  your
• 34:03
  own
• 34:04
  reality
• 34:05
  so
• 34:05
  that
• 34:05
  you
• 34:05
  have
• 34:06
  to
• 34:06
  depend
• 34:06
  on
• 34:06
  them.
• 34:08
  Absolutely.
• 34:09
  How
• 34:09
  did
• 34:10
  becoming
• 34:10
  a
• 34:11
  survivor
• 34:11
  change
• 34:11
  you
• 34:12
  as
• 34:12
  a
• 34:12
  mother?
• 34:13
  Like,
• 34:14
  what
• 34:14
  was
• 34:15
  that
• 34:15
  sort
• 34:15
  of,
• 34:16
  you
• 34:16
  know,
• 34:16
  journey
• 34:16
  like?
• 34:17
  Did
• 34:17
  it
• 34:17
  change
• 34:17
  you?
• 34:18
  How
• 34:18
  did
• 34:18
  you.
• 34:19
  Like,
• 34:19
  what.
• 34:20
  What
• 34:20
  was
• 34:20
  your
• 34:20
  relationship
• 34:21
  with
• 34:21
  your
• 34:21
  kids.
• 34:21
  Like
• 34:21
  throughout
• 34:22
  all
• 34:22
  those?
• 34:22
  It
• 34:22
  got
• 34:22
  better
• 34:23
  because
• 34:23
  they
• 34:24
  had
• 34:24
  been.
• 34:24
  My
• 34:24
  kids
• 34:25
  are
• 34:25
  from
• 34:25
  my
• 34:25
  first
• 34:26
  husband,
• 34:26
  thank
• 34:27
  God.
• 34:28
  So
• 34:28
  I
• 34:28
  was
• 34:29
  like,
• 34:29
  thank
• 34:29
  God.
• 34:30
  And
• 34:30
  there's,
• 34:30
  like,
• 34:31
  no
• 34:31
  gene
• 34:31
  sharing
• 34:32
  there.
• 34:32
  Dodged
• 34:33
  that
• 34:33
  bullet
• 34:34
  because
• 34:34
  that
• 34:34
  would
• 34:34
  be
• 34:35
  horrible.
• 34:35
  And
• 34:36
  they
• 34:36
  are.
• 34:36
  My
• 34:37
  daughter's
• 34:37
  28.
• 34:38
  My
• 34:38
  son
• 34:38
  is
• 34:38
  30.
• 34:39
  So
• 34:39
  I
• 34:39
  got
• 34:39
  married
• 34:40
  young,
• 34:40
  you
• 34:40
  know,
• 34:41
  the
• 34:41
  first
• 34:41
  time.
• 34:42
  And
• 34:43
  they
• 34:43
  were
• 34:44
  so
• 34:44
  angry
• 34:44
  with
• 34:45
  me
• 34:47
  during
• 34:47
  that
• 34:47
  marriage
• 34:48
  because
• 34:48
  they
• 34:48
  were
• 34:49
  seeing
• 34:49
  and
• 34:49
  accepting
• 34:50
  what
• 34:50
  I
• 34:50
  didn't
• 34:51
  like.
• 34:53
  They
• 34:53
  were
• 34:53
  seeing
• 34:54
  me
• 34:54
  take
• 34:54
  less
• 34:55
  than
• 34:55
  I
• 34:55
  deserved.
• 34:56
  I
• 34:56
  wasn't
• 34:56
  being
• 34:56
  hit,
• 34:57
  but
• 34:57
  I
• 34:57
  was
• 34:57
  always
• 34:58
  unhappy.
• 34:59
  And
• 35:00
  my
• 35:00
  daughter,
• 35:01
  you
• 35:01
  know,
• 35:02
  after
• 35:02
  getting
• 35:03
  away,
• 35:04
  and
• 35:04
  I
• 35:04
  told
• 35:05
  her,
• 35:05
  okay,
• 35:05
  I'm
• 35:05
  gonna
• 35:06
  get
• 35:06
  a
• 35:06
  divorce.
• 35:06
  And
• 35:06
  this
• 35:06
  is
• 35:07
  even
• 35:07
  before
• 35:07
  I
• 35:07
  knew
• 35:07
  I
• 35:07
  was
• 35:08
  gonna
• 35:08
  get
• 35:08
  out
• 35:08
  of
• 35:08
  the
• 35:08
  house
• 35:08
  or
• 35:09
  anything.
• 35:09
  And
• 35:10
  she
• 35:10
  said,
• 35:10
  you
• 35:10
  should
• 35:10
  have
• 35:10
  left
• 35:11
  him
• 35:11
  10
• 35:11
  years
• 35:11
  ago.
• 35:13
  Was
• 35:13
  she
• 35:13
  telling
• 35:13
  you
• 35:13
  this
• 35:14
  whole
• 35:14
  time
• 35:14
  during
• 35:14
  that
• 35:15
  10
• 35:15
  years,
• 35:15
  or
• 35:15
  was
• 35:15
  It.
• 35:15
  No,
• 35:17
  she
• 35:17
  said
• 35:17
  it
• 35:17
  after.
• 35:18
  I
• 35:18
  mean,
• 35:19
  she
• 35:20
  said
• 35:20
  it
• 35:20
  after,
• 35:20
  you
• 35:21
  know,
• 35:21
  you
• 35:21
  should
• 35:21
  have
• 35:21
  left
• 35:21
  10
• 35:22
  years
• 35:22
  ago.
• 35:23
  And
• 35:23
  so
• 35:23
  that's
• 35:24
  how
• 35:24
  much
• 35:24
  her
• 35:24
  kids
• 35:24
  are
• 35:25
  seeing.
• 35:25
  And
• 35:26
  they
• 35:26
  were
• 35:26
  a
• 35:26
  big
• 35:26
  part
• 35:27
  of
• 35:27
  why
• 35:27
  I
• 35:27
  wouldn't.
• 35:27
  And
• 35:28
  that's
• 35:28
  why
• 35:28
  I
• 35:28
  say
• 35:28
  when
• 35:28
  people
• 35:28
  ask,
• 35:29
  why
• 35:29
  didn't
• 35:30
  she
• 35:30
  leave?
• 35:31
  They
• 35:31
  were
• 35:31
  teenagers.
• 35:32
  We
• 35:32
  were
• 35:33
  pretty
• 35:33
  well
• 35:33
  off.
• 35:34
  They
• 35:35
  had
• 35:36
  every
• 35:36
  opportunity.
• 35:37
  You
• 35:38
  know,
• 35:38
  their
• 35:38
  college.
• 35:38
  They
• 35:38
  don't
• 35:39
  have
• 35:39
  student
• 35:39
  loans.
• 35:40
  That
• 35:40
  was
• 35:41
  paid
• 35:41
  for.
• 35:42
  And
• 35:42
  all
• 35:42
  I
• 35:42
  could
• 35:42
  think,
• 35:43
  you
• 35:43
  know,
• 35:43
  when
• 35:43
  it
• 35:43
  was
• 35:43
  getting
• 35:43
  bad
• 35:44
  there
• 35:44
  at
• 35:44
  the
• 35:44
  end
• 35:45
  was,
• 35:45
  how
• 35:45
  can
• 35:46
  I
• 35:46
  provide
• 35:46
  this
• 35:46
  by
• 35:47
  myself
• 35:47
  when
• 35:47
  the
• 35:48
  business
• 35:49
  is.
• 35:49
  You
• 35:50
  know,
• 35:50
  he
• 35:50
  would
• 35:50
  always
• 35:50
  say,
• 35:50
  it's
• 35:51
  my
• 35:51
  business.
• 35:52
  It's
• 35:52
  my
• 35:52
  business,
• 35:53
  you
• 35:54
  know,
• 35:54
  And
• 35:54
  I.
• 35:56
  I
• 35:56
  wanted
• 35:56
  to
• 35:56
  be
• 35:56
  able
• 35:56
  to
• 35:56
  give
• 35:57
  them
• 35:57
  that
• 35:57
  life,
• 35:57
  but
• 35:58
  I
• 35:58
  know
• 35:59
  they
• 35:59
  would
• 35:59
  have
• 35:59
  rather
• 36:00
  had
• 36:01
  less.
• 36:01
  So
• 36:02
  that's
• 36:02
  how
• 36:02
  it
• 36:02
  changed
• 36:02
  me
• 36:02
  as
• 36:03
  a
• 36:03
  mother.
• 36:03
  Talking
• 36:04
  to
• 36:04
  my
• 36:04
  son.
• 36:05
  He
• 36:05
  said,
• 36:05
  mom,
• 36:06
  we
• 36:06
  would
• 36:06
  have
• 36:06
  worked
• 36:06
  Johns.
• 36:07
  We
• 36:07
  could
• 36:07
  all
• 36:07
  worked.
• 36:08
  And
• 36:09
  so
• 36:10
  that
• 36:10
  makes
• 36:10
  me
• 36:11
  want
• 36:11
  to
• 36:11
  cry,
• 36:12
  because
• 36:12
  how
• 36:12
  sweet
• 36:13
  is
• 36:13
  that,
• 36:13
  right?
• 36:13
  They'd
• 36:14
  rather
• 36:14
  see
• 36:14
  their
• 36:14
  mother
• 36:15
  happy,
• 36:15
  safe,
• 36:16
  loved,
• 36:17
  than
• 36:17
  all
• 36:17
  the
• 36:17
  material
• 36:18
  things
• 36:18
  in.
• 36:18
  The
• 36:18
  world
• 36:18
  and
• 36:19
  all
• 36:19
  this
• 36:19
  nonsense.
• 36:20
  And
• 36:20
  I'm
• 36:20
  always
• 36:20
  unhappy
• 36:21
  and,
• 36:21
  you
• 36:21
  know,
• 36:22
  and
• 36:22
  I'm.
• 36:23
  It
• 36:23
  was.
• 36:24
  It's
• 36:24
  amazing
• 36:25
  what
• 36:25
  you
• 36:25
  can
• 36:25
  learn.
• 36:25
  But,
• 36:26
  you
• 36:26
  know,
• 36:26
  my
• 36:26
  kids
• 36:27
  were
• 36:27
  older.
• 36:28
  But
• 36:29
  I
• 36:29
  promise,
• 36:30
  if
• 36:30
  you
• 36:30
  have
• 36:30
  younger
• 36:30
  kids,
• 36:31
  they're
• 36:31
  still
• 36:32
  thinking
• 36:32
  that
• 36:32
  same
• 36:32
  thing,
• 36:34
  that
• 36:34
  they
• 36:34
  just
• 36:34
  want
• 36:35
  to
• 36:35
  see
• 36:35
  you,
• 36:35
  mom
• 36:35
  or
• 36:36
  dad
• 36:36
  happy.
• 36:36
  Because
• 36:36
  there
• 36:37
  are
• 36:37
  a
• 36:37
  lot
• 36:37
  of
• 36:37
  women
• 36:37
  narcissists
• 36:38
  out
• 36:38
  there,
• 36:40
  just
• 36:40
  operating
• 36:40
  a
• 36:41
  little
• 36:41
  differently
• 36:41
  with
• 36:41
  the
• 36:41
  men,
• 36:42
  but
• 36:42
  it's
• 36:42
  still
• 36:42
  dangerous.
• 36:43
  Yeah.
• 36:43
  Do
• 36:44
  they
• 36:44
  operate
• 36:44
  in
• 36:44
  men
• 36:44
  and
• 36:44
  women
• 36:45
  in
• 36:45
  the
• 36:45
  same
• 36:45
  way
• 36:46
  if
• 36:46
  they're,
• 36:46
  like,
• 36:46
  true
• 36:47
  narcissists?
• 36:47
  Yeah,
• 36:48
  a
• 36:48
  little.
• 36:50
  Kind
• 36:50
  of.
• 36:52
  Very
• 36:52
  much
• 36:52
  my
• 36:53
  brother.
• 36:53
  He's
• 36:53
  not
• 36:54
  really.
• 36:54
  He's
• 36:54
  my
• 36:55
  cousin,
• 36:55
  but
• 36:55
  we're
• 36:55
  brother.
• 36:56
  Brother
• 36:56
  and
• 36:56
  sister.
• 36:56
  Right.
• 36:57
  So
• 36:57
  we
• 36:57
  grew
• 36:58
  up
• 36:58
  together.
• 36:58
  Yeah.
• 36:59
  So
• 37:00
  his
• 37:00
  wife,
• 37:00
  clearly
• 37:01
  a
• 37:01
  narcissist,
• 37:02
  and.
• 37:02
  And
• 37:02
  he
• 37:03
  was
• 37:03
  going
• 37:03
  through
• 37:04
  it
• 37:04
  at
• 37:04
  the
• 37:05
  same
• 37:05
  time
• 37:05
  that
• 37:06
  I
• 37:06
  was
• 37:06
  going
• 37:06
  through
• 37:06
  this
• 37:07
  with
• 37:07
  my
• 37:08
  husband.
• 37:08
  So
• 37:08
  we
• 37:08
  couldn't
• 37:09
  even
• 37:09
  see
• 37:09
  to
• 37:09
  help
• 37:09
  each
• 37:10
  other.
• 37:10
  But
• 37:10
  that's
• 37:11
  kind
• 37:11
  of
• 37:11
  interesting
• 37:11
  because
• 37:12
  we're
• 37:12
  both
• 37:12
  from
• 37:12
  the
• 37:12
  same
• 37:12
  background,
• 37:13
  so
• 37:13
  we
• 37:13
  both
• 37:14
  have
• 37:14
  the
• 37:14
  same.
• 37:15
  We're
• 37:15
  both
• 37:15
  empathetic,
• 37:17
  both
• 37:17
  kind,
• 37:17
  but
• 37:17
  we
• 37:17
  both
• 37:18
  have
• 37:18
  some
• 37:18
  of
• 37:18
  those
• 37:18
  same
• 37:19
  insecurities,
• 37:20
  and
• 37:20
  that
• 37:20
  opens
• 37:21
  us
• 37:21
  up
• 37:21
  to
• 37:21
  these
• 37:22
  people.
• 37:22
  This
• 37:23
  woman
• 37:23
  behaved
• 37:23
  very
• 37:23
  much
• 37:24
  the
• 37:24
  same
• 37:24
  way,
• 37:25
  just
• 37:26
  lying,
• 37:26
  cheating,
• 37:27
  disappearing.
• 37:31
  And
• 37:32
  they
• 37:32
  are
• 37:32
  not,
• 37:34
  you
• 37:34
  know,
• 37:34
  men
• 37:35
  are
• 37:35
  a
• 37:35
  little
• 37:35
  bit
• 37:35
  harder
• 37:36
  on
• 37:36
  us
• 37:36
  as
• 37:36
  narcissists
• 37:37
  about.
• 37:37
  They
• 37:37
  kind
• 37:38
  of
• 37:38
  attack
• 37:38
  the
• 37:38
  way
• 37:38
  we
• 37:39
  look.
• 37:39
  Women
• 37:40
  generally
• 37:40
  attack
• 37:41
  your
• 37:42
  worth
• 37:42
  as
• 37:42
  a
• 37:42
  man
• 37:43
  or
• 37:43
  how
• 37:43
  you
• 37:43
  just
• 37:44
  mean
• 37:44
  things.
• 37:45
  It's
• 37:46
  all
• 37:46
  the
• 37:46
  same.
• 37:46
  It's
• 37:46
  all
• 37:47
  about
• 37:47
  ego.
• 37:48
  And
• 37:49
  they're
• 37:49
  so
• 37:49
  broken
• 37:49
  inside
• 37:50
  that
• 37:50
  they're
• 37:50
  trying
• 37:50
  to
• 37:51
  hurt.
• 37:51
  They're
• 37:51
  trying
• 37:51
  to
• 37:52
  somebody
• 37:53
  else.
• 37:53
  On
• 37:53
  the
• 37:53
  outside,
• 37:53
  they
• 37:53
  know
• 37:54
  they're
• 37:54
  broken.
• 37:54
  They
• 37:55
  think
• 37:55
  they're
• 37:56
  jealous
• 37:56
  of
• 37:56
  you.
• 37:57
  They
• 37:57
  don't
• 37:58
  like
• 37:58
  you.
• 37:58
  You
• 37:59
  know,
• 37:59
  if
• 37:59
  you're
• 37:59
  with
• 37:59
  a
• 37:59
  narcissist
• 38:00
  or
• 38:00
  you're
• 38:00
  with
• 38:00
  someone
• 38:01
  who's
• 38:01
  treating
• 38:01
  you
• 38:01
  this
• 38:02
  way,
• 38:02
  they
• 38:02
  do
• 38:03
  not
• 38:03
  love
• 38:03
  you.
• 38:05
  People
• 38:05
  who
• 38:05
  love
• 38:06
  you
• 38:06
  do
• 38:07
  not
• 38:07
  purposefully
• 38:08
  hurt
• 38:08
  you.
• 38:09
  Not
• 38:09
  ever.
• 38:11
  Not
• 38:11
  ever.
• 38:11
  Not
• 38:12
  ever.
• 38:12
  Not
• 38:12
  ever.
• 38:13
  Not
• 38:13
  on
• 38:13
  purpose.
• 38:14
  I
• 38:14
  mean,
• 38:14
  we
• 38:14
  can
• 38:14
  hurt
• 38:15
  people,
• 38:15
  but
• 38:15
  not
• 38:16
  purposefully.
• 38:17
  And,
• 38:19
  you
• 38:19
  know,
• 38:19
  they
• 38:19
  really.
• 38:19
  They
• 38:20
  do
• 38:20
  hate
• 38:20
  you
• 38:22
  because
• 38:22
  they're
• 38:22
  jealous
• 38:23
  of
• 38:23
  you.
• 38:23
  You're
• 38:23
  everything
• 38:23
  they
• 38:24
  can
• 38:24
  never
• 38:24
  be.
• 38:26
  And
• 38:27
  all
• 38:27
  it
• 38:27
  takes
• 38:28
  is
• 38:28
  one
• 38:28
  moment,
• 38:29
  one
• 38:29
  fit
• 38:30
  of
• 38:30
  narcissistic
• 38:31
  rage,
• 38:31
  and
• 38:31
  you
• 38:32
  can
• 38:32
  get
• 38:32
  hurt.
• 38:33
  And
• 38:33
  it
• 38:33
  happens
• 38:34
  more
• 38:34
  than
• 38:35
  we
• 38:35
  know,
• 38:36
  you
• 38:36
  know,
• 38:37
  when.
• 38:37
  For
• 38:37
  the
• 38:38
  people
• 38:38
  who
• 38:38
  don't
• 38:38
  survive,
• 38:38
  they're
• 38:39
  not
• 38:39
  there
• 38:39
  to
• 38:39
  tell
• 38:39
  the
• 38:39
  tale.
• 38:40
  But
• 38:40
  I'll
• 38:41
  look
• 38:41
  at
• 38:41
  a
• 38:41
  lot
• 38:41
  of
• 38:41
  news
• 38:41
  stories
• 38:42
  and
• 38:42
  I'll
• 38:42
  think,
• 38:42
  yeah,
• 38:43
  okay,
• 38:43
  well,
• 38:44
  we
• 38:44
  know
• 38:44
  what
• 38:45
  happened.
• 38:45
  Because
• 38:45
  it'll
• 38:45
  just
• 38:45
  be
• 38:46
  like,
• 38:46
  oh,
• 38:46
  he
• 38:46
  snapped.
• 38:48
  No,
• 38:48
  he
• 38:48
  didn't.
• 38:49
  He's
• 38:49
  been
• 38:49
  abusive
• 38:50
  the
• 38:50
  whole
• 38:50
  time,
• 38:50
  just
• 38:51
  not
• 38:51
  physically.
• 38:52
  He
• 38:53
  just,
• 38:53
  you
• 38:53
  know,
• 38:54
  got
• 38:54
  tired.
• 38:56
  And
• 38:56
  I
• 38:56
  want
• 38:58
  all
• 38:58
  of
• 38:58
  us
• 38:58
  to
• 38:58
  know
• 38:59
  that
• 39:02
  I
• 39:02
  think
• 39:02
  men
• 39:02
  are
• 39:02
  in
• 39:03
  less
• 39:03
  physical
• 39:04
  danger
• 39:04
  from
• 39:05
  women
• 39:05
  narcissists
• 39:06
  because
• 39:06
  we're
• 39:06
  women
• 39:07
  right.
• 39:07
  At
• 39:07
  our
• 39:08
  core.
• 39:09
  But
• 39:11
  you're
• 39:11
  really
• 39:11
  in
• 39:11
  danger
• 39:12
  if
• 39:12
  you're
• 39:12
  with
• 39:12
  someone
• 39:13
  like
• 39:13
  that.
• 39:14
  And
• 39:14
  if
• 39:14
  they
• 39:14
  have
• 39:15
  ever
• 39:15
  choked
• 39:15
  you,
• 39:17
  then
• 39:18
  you're
• 39:18
  800%
• 39:19
  more
• 39:19
  likely
• 39:20
  to
• 39:20
  be
• 39:21
  killed
• 39:21
  by
• 39:21
  them
• 39:22
  than
• 39:23
  in
• 39:23
  an
• 39:23
  instant,
• 39:24
  than
• 39:24
  regular
• 39:25
  domestic
• 39:25
  violence.
• 39:27
  There's
• 39:27
  just
• 39:27
  so
• 39:27
  many
• 39:28
  interesting
• 39:28
  studies
• 39:28
  now
• 39:29
  about
• 39:29
  how
• 39:30
  this
• 39:30
  works,
• 39:30
  and
• 39:31
  I
• 39:31
  love
• 39:31
  being
• 39:31
  able
• 39:31
  to
• 39:32
  talk
• 39:32
  about
• 39:32
  it,
• 39:32
  and
• 39:33
  I
• 39:33
  love
• 39:33
  that
• 39:33
  we
• 39:33
  have
• 39:33
  platforms
• 39:34
  where
• 39:35
  we
• 39:35
  can
• 39:35
  share
• 39:35
  it,
• 39:36
  because
• 39:37
  I
• 39:37
  never
• 39:37
  knew.
• 39:38
  I
• 39:38
  never
• 39:39
  heard.
• 39:39
  If
• 39:40
  you'd
• 39:40
  asked
• 39:40
  me
• 39:40
  what
• 39:41
  a
• 39:41
  narcissist
• 39:41
  was,
• 39:41
  I
• 39:41
  would
• 39:42
  have
• 39:42
  told
• 39:42
  you.
• 39:42
  Somebody
• 39:42
  who
• 39:42
  really
• 39:43
  loves
• 39:43
  himself.
• 39:44
  Right,
• 39:44
  right,
• 39:45
  right.
• 39:45
  Because
• 39:45
  that's
• 39:45
  what
• 39:45
  you
• 39:46
  think.
• 39:46
  That's
• 39:46
  what
• 39:46
  we
• 39:46
  heard
• 39:47
  from
• 39:47
  Narcissus.
• 39:48
  He's
• 39:49
  staring
• 39:49
  at
• 39:49
  his
• 39:50
  image
• 39:51
  in
• 39:51
  the
• 39:51
  water.
• 39:51
  Right.
• 39:52
  He's
• 39:52
  amazing.
• 39:53
  Well,
• 39:53
  he
• 39:53
  was
• 39:53
  staring
• 39:54
  at
• 39:54
  himself
• 39:54
  because
• 39:55
  he
• 39:56
  didn't
• 39:56
  like
• 39:56
  himself.
• 39:57
  Wow.
• 39:58
  That's
• 39:58
  the
• 39:58
  part
• 39:58
  we
• 39:59
  missed,
• 39:59
  you
• 40:00
  know?
• 40:00
  Right.
• 40:00
  Because
• 40:00
  you
• 40:01
  think
• 40:01
  one
• 40:01
  way,
• 40:01
  like
• 40:02
  that,.
• 40:02
  It's
• 40:02
  that
• 40:02
  way,
• 40:02
  but
• 40:02
  it's
• 40:03
  counterattack.
• 40:03
  Exactly.
• 40:04
  We
• 40:04
  think
• 40:04
  it's
• 40:05
  vanity.
• 40:05
  And
• 40:05
  it's
• 40:05
  everything
• 40:06
  but
• 40:06
  vanity.
• 40:07
  It's
• 40:07
  self
• 40:08
  loathing.
• 40:08
  And
• 40:09
  they
• 40:09
  want
• 40:10
  you
• 40:11
  to
• 40:12
  be
• 40:12
  unhappy.
• 40:13
  So
• 40:13
  people
• 40:14
  who
• 40:14
  love
• 40:14
  you
• 40:14
  don't
• 40:14
  want
• 40:15
  you
• 40:15
  to
• 40:15
  be
• 40:15
  unhappy.
• 40:16
  Oh,
• 40:16
  my
• 40:16
  God.
• 40:17
  And
• 40:17
  you
• 40:17
  have
• 40:17
  to
• 40:17
  get
• 40:17
  out.
• 40:18
  Yep.
• 40:18
  You
• 40:18
  have
• 40:18
  to
• 40:18
  get
• 40:19
  out.
• 40:19
  So
• 40:19
  what
• 40:19
  would
• 40:19
  you
• 40:20
  Say
• 40:20
  to
• 40:20
  the
• 40:20
  women
• 40:20
  who
• 40:20
  might
• 40:21
  be
• 40:21
  listening
• 40:21
  and
• 40:21
  watching
• 40:22
  this
• 40:22
  that,
• 40:23
  you
• 40:23
  know,
• 40:23
  feel
• 40:23
  stuck
• 40:24
  or
• 40:24
  might
• 40:24
  be
• 40:24
  in
• 40:25
  some
• 40:25
  sort
• 40:25
  of
• 40:25
  a
• 40:25
  situation
• 40:26
  that
• 40:26
  they
• 40:26
  do
• 40:27
  want
• 40:27
  to
• 40:27
  get
• 40:27
  out
• 40:27
  of
• 40:28
  or,
• 40:28
  you
• 40:28
  know,
• 40:28
  just
• 40:29
  want
• 40:29
  to
• 40:29
  make
• 40:29
  a
• 40:29
  change
• 40:30
  on
• 40:30
  their
• 40:30
  life
• 40:30
  in
• 40:31
  some
• 40:31
  way.
• 40:31
  Like,
• 40:31
  what
• 40:31
  would
• 40:31
  you
• 40:32
  say
• 40:32
  to
• 40:32
  them?
• 40:32
  Well,
• 40:33
  if
• 40:33
  you're
• 40:33
  with
• 40:33
  someone
• 40:34
  and
• 40:35
  it
• 40:35
  is
• 40:35
  emotional
• 40:36
  abuse,
• 40:36
  you
• 40:36
  need
• 40:37
  to
• 40:37
  contact
• 40:37
  a
• 40:37
  domestic
• 40:38
  violence
• 40:38
  organization.
• 40:39
  A
• 40:39
  lot
• 40:40
  of
• 40:40
  people
• 40:40
  hesitate
• 40:40
  to
• 40:41
  do
• 40:41
  that
• 40:41
  because
• 40:41
  he's
• 40:41
  not
• 40:42
  hitting
• 40:42
  me.
• 40:43
  But
• 40:43
  I
• 40:43
  promise
• 40:43
  you,
• 40:43
  they
• 40:44
  are
• 40:44
  versed
• 40:45
  for
• 40:45
  it.
• 40:46
  Do
• 40:46
  that
• 40:47
  and
• 40:47
  then
• 40:48
  please
• 40:48
  reach
• 40:49
  out
• 40:50
  to
• 40:51
  whoever
• 40:51
  it
• 40:51
  is
• 40:52
  you
• 40:52
  are
• 40:52
  now
• 40:52
  estranged
• 40:53
  from,
• 40:53
  because
• 40:53
  I
• 40:54
  know
• 40:54
  you
• 40:54
  are.
• 40:55
  If
• 40:55
  you're
• 40:55
  with
• 40:55
  someone
• 40:56
  like
• 40:56
  that,
• 40:56
  your
• 40:56
  family
• 40:57
  isn't
• 40:57
  close.
• 40:57
  Now,
• 40:58
  they've
• 40:58
  had
• 40:58
  to.
• 40:59
  They've
• 40:59
  had
• 40:59
  to
• 40:59
  put
• 40:59
  up
• 40:59
  a
• 41:00
  boundary
• 41:00
  to
• 41:01
  protect
• 41:01
  themselves
• 41:02
  because
• 41:02
  you
• 41:03
  continue
• 41:03
  to
• 41:03
  go
• 41:03
  back
• 41:03
  to
• 41:04
  them.
• 41:04
  But
• 41:04
  if
• 41:05
  you're
• 41:05
  ready,
• 41:06
  reach
• 41:06
  out
• 41:07
  to
• 41:07
  your
• 41:08
  friend,
• 41:08
  your
• 41:08
  family,
• 41:09
  whoever
• 41:09
  it
• 41:09
  is
• 41:09
  that's
• 41:10
  not
• 41:10
  speaking
• 41:10
  to
• 41:10
  you,
• 41:11
  they
• 41:11
  love
• 41:12
  you.
• 41:12
  They
• 41:12
  just
• 41:13
  had
• 41:13
  to
• 41:13
  draw
• 41:13
  a
• 41:13
  boundary.
• 41:14
  They
• 41:14
  will
• 41:15
  help
• 41:15
  you
• 41:15
  when
• 41:16
  you
• 41:16
  come
• 41:16
  back.
• 41:17
  Genuinely,
• 41:18
  you
• 41:19
  cannot
• 41:20
  do
• 41:20
  it
• 41:20
  alone
• 41:22
  either.
• 41:22
  You
• 41:23
  know,
• 41:23
  a
• 41:23
  support
• 41:23
  group
• 41:25
  is
• 41:25
  so
• 41:25
  helpful
• 41:27
  and
• 41:28
  a
• 41:28
  domestic
• 41:29
  violence
• 41:29
  organization,
• 41:30
  they
• 41:30
  will
• 41:30
  give
• 41:31
  you
• 41:31
  a
• 41:32
  mentor
• 41:33
  to
• 41:33
  help
• 41:33
  you.
• 41:34
  Don't
• 41:34
  try
• 41:34
  to
• 41:35
  get
• 41:35
  out
• 41:35
  alone,
• 41:35
  because
• 41:36
  a
• 41:36
  lot
• 41:36
  of
• 41:36
  times
• 41:36
  if
• 41:37
  you
• 41:37
  do,
• 41:37
  that's
• 41:38
  where
• 41:38
  you're
• 41:38
  really
• 41:38
  going
• 41:38
  to
• 41:39
  get
• 41:39
  hurt.
• 41:40
  And
• 41:40
  if
• 41:40
  you're
• 41:40
  just
• 41:41
  looking
• 41:41
  to
• 41:41
  make
• 41:41
  a
• 41:41
  change
• 41:42
  in
• 41:42
  life
• 41:43
  altogether,
• 41:44
  do
• 41:45
  it.
• 41:45
  Just
• 41:46
  say
• 41:46
  yes,
• 41:46
  right?
• 41:47
  Just
• 41:48
  do
• 41:48
  it.
• 41:48
  Just
• 41:48
  take
• 41:49
  the
• 41:49
  step.
• 41:49
  Yes.
• 41:50
  And
• 41:50
  I
• 41:50
  imagine
• 41:50
  a
• 41:50
  lot
• 41:50
  of
• 41:50
  women
• 41:51
  also
• 41:51
  feel
• 41:51
  like
• 41:51
  shame
• 41:52
  and
• 41:52
  embarrassment
• 41:52
  of
• 41:53
  what
• 41:53
  is
• 41:53
  going
• 41:53
  on
• 41:54
  with
• 41:55
  what's
• 41:55
  happening.
• 41:55
  And
• 41:55
  that
• 41:56
  might
• 41:56
  even
• 41:56
  keep
• 41:56
  them
• 41:57
  from
• 41:57
  telling
• 41:57
  friends,
• 41:58
  family,
• 41:58
  you
• 41:58
  know,
• 41:59
  trusted
• 41:59
  confidants.
• 42:00
  But
• 42:01
  tell
• 42:01
  somebody,
• 42:01
  right?
• 42:02
  Tell
• 42:02
  somebody.
• 42:02
  Talk
• 42:03
  to
• 42:03
  people.
• 42:03
  I
• 42:04
  didn't
• 42:04
  talk.
• 42:04
  I
• 42:05
  mean,
• 42:05
  if
• 42:05
  I
• 42:06
  had
• 42:06
  told
• 42:07
  my
• 42:07
  friends,
• 42:08
  hey,
• 42:08
  you
• 42:08
  know,
• 42:09
  my
• 42:09
  husband
• 42:09
  disappears
• 42:09
  a
• 42:10
  couple
• 42:10
  of
• 42:10
  times
• 42:10
  a
• 42:10
  week.
• 42:11
  He
• 42:11
  turns
• 42:11
  off
• 42:11
  his
• 42:12
  phone.
• 42:12
  No,
• 42:12
  they
• 42:12
  didn't
• 42:13
  know.
• 42:13
  Because
• 42:13
  you're.
• 42:14
  Because
• 42:14
  you're
• 42:14
  ashamed,
• 42:15
  you're
• 42:16
  embarrassed.
• 42:16
  And
• 42:16
  that's
• 42:16
  why
• 42:16
  I
• 42:17
  said,
• 42:17
  I
• 42:17
  refuse
• 42:17
  to
• 42:17
  live
• 42:17
  in
• 42:18
  his
• 42:18
  shame.
• 42:18
  Now,
• 42:19
  I
• 42:19
  did
• 42:19
  it
• 42:19
  for
• 42:19
  so
• 42:20
  many
• 42:20
  years.
• 42:21
  But
• 42:21
  you
• 42:21
  also
• 42:22
  do
• 42:22
  it
• 42:22
  because
• 42:22
  you
• 42:23
  know
• 42:23
  that
• 42:24
  if
• 42:24
  you
• 42:24
  tell
• 42:24
  them,
• 42:25
  hey,
• 42:25
  my
• 42:25
  husband
• 42:25
  disappears
• 42:26
  twice
• 42:26
  a
• 42:26
  week,
• 42:26
  turns
• 42:27
  off
• 42:27
  his
• 42:27
  phone,
• 42:27
  disappears
• 42:28
  until
• 42:28
  bar
• 42:28
  closes.
• 42:29
  They're
• 42:29
  going
• 42:29
  to
• 42:29
  be
• 42:30
  like,
• 42:30
  what
• 42:30
  are
• 42:30
  you
• 42:30
  doing?
• 42:32
  They
• 42:32
  might
• 42:32
  make
• 42:32
  you
• 42:33
  make
• 42:33
  a
• 42:33
  change,
• 42:33
  you
• 42:34
  know,
• 42:34
  so
• 42:35
  don't.
• 42:36
  Don't
• 42:36
  hide
• 42:37
  it.
• 42:37
  Your
• 42:38
  truth
• 42:38
  is
• 42:39
  your
• 42:39
  power.
• 42:40
  You
• 42:40
  don't
• 42:41
  have
• 42:41
  to
• 42:41
  tell
• 42:41
  the
• 42:41
  world
• 42:41
  like
• 42:42
  I
• 42:42
  do,
• 42:42
  but
• 42:42
  tell
• 42:42
  somebody.
• 42:43
  Tell
• 42:43
  somebody,
• 42:44
  and
• 42:44
  no
• 42:44
  one
• 42:44
  can
• 42:45
  change
• 42:45
  it.
• 42:45
  That
• 42:45
  is
• 42:45
  yours.
• 42:46
  That's
• 42:46
  yours.
• 42:46
  Is
• 42:47
  yours.
• 42:47
  Yes,
• 42:48
  yes.
• 42:48
  Nobody
• 42:48
  can.
• 42:49
  There's
• 42:49
  never
• 42:50
  a
• 42:50
  Wrong
• 42:50
  answer.
• 42:50
  No.
• 42:51
  No,
• 42:51
  never.
• 42:52
  Right?
• 42:52
  Never.
• 42:53
  Well,
• 42:53
  I
• 42:53
  mean,
• 42:54
  you
• 42:54
  have
• 42:54
  so
• 42:54
  many
• 42:54
  bright
• 42:55
  things
• 42:55
  on
• 42:55
  the
• 42:55
  horizon.
• 42:56
  A
• 42:56
  little
• 42:56
  birdie
• 42:57
  told
• 42:57
  me
• 42:57
  you
• 42:57
  have
• 42:58
  a
• 42:58
  talk
• 42:58
  show
• 42:58
  in
• 42:58
  the
• 42:59
  works.
• 42:59
  Working
• 42:59
  on
• 43:00
  it.
• 43:00
  I
• 43:00
  wanted
• 43:01
  this.
• 43:01
  What?
• 43:02
  Like,
• 43:02
  that
• 43:02
  is
• 43:02
  absolutely
• 43:03
  amazing.
• 43:04
  It's
• 43:04
  like
• 43:04
  a
• 43:04
  dream.
• 43:05
  Can
• 43:06
  you
• 43:06
  always
• 43:06
  listen
• 43:06
  to
• 43:06
  me?
• 43:06
  Can
• 43:06
  you
• 43:07
  talk
• 43:07
  a
• 43:07
  little
• 43:07
  bit
• 43:07
  about.
• 43:07
  What's
• 43:07
  happening
• 43:08
  with
• 43:08
  that?
• 43:09
  Well,
• 43:09
  we're
• 43:09
  working
• 43:10
  on.
• 43:11
  I
• 43:11
  need
• 43:11
  to
• 43:11
  get
• 43:11
  a
• 43:11
  pilot
• 43:12
  together.
• 43:12
  Okay.
• 43:13
  I
• 43:13
  first
• 43:13
  found
• 43:14
  my
• 43:14
  interest
• 43:14
  in
• 43:14
  Talk
• 43:15
  shows
• 43:15
  when
• 43:15
  TikTok
• 43:16
  asked
• 43:16
  me
• 43:16
  to
• 43:16
  do
• 43:17
  one
• 43:17
  years
• 43:17
  ago
• 43:17
  when
• 43:18
  they
• 43:18
  started
• 43:19
  doing,
• 43:21
  you
• 43:21
  know,
• 43:22
  livestreams,
• 43:22
  culture.
• 43:23
  And
• 43:24
  my
• 43:24
  TikTok
• 43:25
  actually
• 43:26
  asked
• 43:26
  me
• 43:26
  to
• 43:26
  do
• 43:26
  a
• 43:26
  show.
• 43:27
  Well,
• 43:27
  it
• 43:27
  was
• 43:27
  done
• 43:27
  virtually,
• 43:28
  but
• 43:29
  it
• 43:29
  was
• 43:29
  so
• 43:29
  good.
• 43:30
  It
• 43:30
  was
• 43:30
  done
• 43:30
  virtually
• 43:31
  and
• 43:31
  live,
• 43:31
  which,
• 43:32
  you
• 43:32
  know,
• 43:32
  creates
• 43:33
  some
• 43:33
  situations,
• 43:34
  right?
• 43:34
  Yeah,
• 43:35
  there's
• 43:35
  some
• 43:35
  situations
• 43:36
  live.
• 43:36
  But
• 43:37
  it
• 43:37
  was
• 43:37
  so
• 43:37
  good.
• 43:38
  It
• 43:38
  was
• 43:38
  so
• 43:38
  moving.
• 43:39
  And
• 43:39
  I
• 43:39
  thought,
• 43:40
  oh,
• 43:40
  my
• 43:40
  gosh,
• 43:42
  that's
• 43:42
  what
• 43:42
  I
• 43:42
  want
• 43:42
  to
• 43:43
  do.
• 43:43
  I
• 43:43
  tell
• 43:43
  my
• 43:43
  story
• 43:44
  all
• 43:44
  the
• 43:44
  time,
• 43:44
  and
• 43:45
  I
• 43:45
  gladly
• 43:45
  do.
• 43:46
  But
• 43:46
  when
• 43:46
  you
• 43:47
  can
• 43:47
  give
• 43:47
  people
• 43:48
  a
• 43:48
  platform
• 43:48
  to
• 43:49
  tell
• 43:49
  theirs
• 43:50
  when
• 43:50
  they're
• 43:51
  ready,
• 43:53
  it
• 43:53
  is
• 43:53
  so
• 43:53
  empowering
• 43:54
  for
• 43:54
  them
• 43:55
  to
• 43:56
  sit
• 43:56
  and
• 43:56
  talk
• 43:56
  about
• 43:57
  it
• 43:57
  and
• 43:58
  tell
• 43:58
  the
• 43:58
  world,
• 43:59
  because,
• 43:59
  again,
• 43:59
  that
• 44:00
  truth
• 44:00
  is
• 44:00
  their
• 44:00
  power.
• 44:00
  And
• 44:01
  that's
• 44:01
  what
• 44:01
  I
• 44:01
  want
• 44:01
  the
• 44:01
  talk
• 44:02
  show
• 44:02
  to
• 44:02
  do.
• 44:02
  I
• 44:03
  want
• 44:03
  to
• 44:03
  be
• 44:03
  able
• 44:03
  to
• 44:03
  use
• 44:04
  my
• 44:04
  platforms,
• 44:05
  pull
• 44:05
  that
• 44:06
  together,
• 44:07
  and
• 44:08
  give
• 44:08
  people
• 44:08
  a
• 44:09
  chair
• 44:09
  to
• 44:09
  sit
• 44:09
  in
• 44:09
  and
• 44:10
  to
• 44:10
  tell
• 44:10
  their
• 44:10
  story
• 44:11
  if
• 44:11
  they
• 44:11
  want,
• 44:11
  give
• 44:11
  a
• 44:12
  voice.
• 44:13
  And
• 44:14
  the
• 44:14
  more
• 44:15
  voices
• 44:15
  we
• 44:16
  give,
• 44:16
  the
• 44:16
  more
• 44:16
  people
• 44:16
  we
• 44:17
  reach,
• 44:18
  the
• 44:18
  more
• 44:19
  the
• 44:19
  people
• 44:19
  have
• 44:20
  to
• 44:20
  hear
• 44:20
  these
• 44:20
  stories.
• 44:21
  Yes.
• 44:21
  And
• 44:21
  I
• 44:22
  understand
• 44:22
  you
• 44:22
  have
• 44:22
  some
• 44:22
  big
• 44:23
  talent
• 44:23
  attached
• 44:23
  to
• 44:23
  that
• 44:24
  too,
• 44:24
  Ms.
• 44:24
  Sherri
• 44:25
  Shepherd.
• 44:26
  Oh,
• 44:26
  that
• 44:27
  was.
• 44:28
  Is
• 44:28
  that.
• 44:29
  Well,
• 44:29
  she's
• 44:30
  attached
• 44:30
  to
• 44:31
  something
• 44:31
  else.
• 44:32
  I
• 44:32
  met
• 44:32
  her.
• 44:33
  Listen,
• 44:33
  this
• 44:33
  is
• 44:33
  the
• 44:34
  craziest
• 44:34
  thing,
• 44:34
  okay.
• 44:35
  My
• 44:36
  agent
• 44:36
  contacted
• 44:37
  me
• 44:37
  and
• 44:37
  said,
• 44:38
  do
• 44:38
  you
• 44:38
  know
• 44:39
  Sherri
• 44:39
  Shepherd?
• 44:39
  I
• 44:40
  was
• 44:40
  like,
• 44:40
  yes,
• 44:42
  like,
• 44:42
  of
• 44:42
  course.
• 44:42
  I
• 44:42
  know
• 44:42
  Sherri
• 44:43
  Shepherd.
• 44:43
  Hello.
• 44:44
  Like,
• 44:45
  Sherri
• 44:46
  Shepherd.
• 44:46
  I
• 44:46
  love
• 44:47
  Sherri
• 44:47
  Shepherd.
• 44:49
  And
• 44:49
  they
• 44:49
  just
• 44:49
  said,
• 44:49
  she's
• 44:50
  a
• 44:50
  fan.
• 44:50
  She
• 44:51
  would
• 44:51
  like
• 44:51
  to
• 44:52
  meet
• 44:53
  you.
• 44:54
  And
• 44:54
  I
• 44:55
  just
• 44:55
  thought
• 44:55
  that
• 44:55
  was
• 44:56
  the
• 44:56
  craziest
• 44:56
  thing
• 44:56
  I'd
• 44:57
  ever.
• 44:57
  I
• 44:57
  was
• 44:57
  like,
• 44:58
  what?
• 44:58
  That
• 44:59
  is
• 44:59
  so
• 44:59
  amazing.
• 44:59
  So
• 45:00
  we
• 45:00
  had
• 45:00
  a
• 45:00
  big
• 45:00
  zoom
• 45:00
  call,
• 45:01
  and,
• 45:01
  you
• 45:02
  know,
• 45:02
  all
• 45:02
  the
• 45:02
  details.
• 45:02
  I
• 45:03
  don't
• 45:03
  know
• 45:03
  what
• 45:03
  will
• 45:03
  come
• 45:04
  of
• 45:04
  what.
• 45:04
  And,
• 45:04
  you
• 45:04
  know,
• 45:05
  all
• 45:05
  that
• 45:05
  still
• 45:05
  under
• 45:06
  wraps.
• 45:06
  But
• 45:06
  that
• 45:07
  was
• 45:07
  amazing
• 45:07
  because
• 45:08
  I,
• 45:08
  you
• 45:09
  know,
• 45:09
  was
• 45:09
  sitting
• 45:09
  with
• 45:09
  her
• 45:10
  and
• 45:10
  her
• 45:10
  agents,
• 45:10
  and
• 45:11
  they
• 45:11
  said,
• 45:11
  what
• 45:11
  do
• 45:11
  you
• 45:11
  want?
• 45:12
  And
• 45:12
  I
• 45:12
  said,
• 45:12
  I
• 45:13
  want
• 45:13
  a
• 45:13
  NETFLIX
• 45:13
  original.
• 45:14
  And
• 45:14
  I've
• 45:14
  been
• 45:15
  manifesting
• 45:15
  that
• 45:16
  because,
• 45:16
  you
• 45:16
  know,
• 45:16
  I
• 45:16
  believe
• 45:16
  in
• 45:17
  manifestation,
• 45:17
  like
• 45:18
  to
• 45:18
  say,
• 45:18
  ever
• 45:19
  since
• 45:19
  I
• 45:19
  got
• 45:19
  to
• 45:19
  la,
• 45:20
  every
• 45:20
  time
• 45:21
  someone
• 45:21
  asked
• 45:21
  me
• 45:21
  what
• 45:22
  I
• 45:22
  wanted,
• 45:22
  I
• 45:23
  said,
• 45:23
  I
• 45:24
  want
• 45:24
  a
• 45:24
  NETFLIX
• 45:25
  original
• 45:25
  because
• 45:26
  I
• 45:26
  want
• 45:26
  to
• 45:26
  tell
• 45:26
  the
• 45:26
  story
• 45:27
  again
• 45:27
  as
• 45:27
  loudly
• 45:28
  and
• 45:28
  proudly
• 45:29
  as
• 45:29
  I
• 45:30
  can.
• 45:30
  But
• 45:30
  it's
• 45:30
  not
• 45:30
  just
• 45:31
  a
• 45:31
  story
• 45:31
  of.
• 45:32
  Also,
• 45:32
  it's
• 45:32
  not
• 45:32
  just
• 45:32
  a
• 45:33
  story
• 45:33
  of
• 45:33
  what
• 45:33
  happened.
• 45:33
  It's
• 45:34
  the
• 45:34
  story
• 45:34
  of
• 45:34
  what
• 45:34
  happened
• 45:35
  next.
• 45:35
  Yes.
• 45:36
  I
• 45:36
  think
• 45:36
  overcoming
• 45:37
  that.
• 45:37
  Yes.
• 45:38
  That's
• 45:38
  so
• 45:39
  important
• 45:39
  because
• 45:40
  you're
• 45:40
  showing
• 45:41
  women
• 45:41
  out
• 45:41
  there
• 45:42
  that
• 45:43
  there
• 45:43
  is
• 45:43
  hope
• 45:43
  and
• 45:44
  they
• 45:44
  can
• 45:44
  do
• 45:45
  it.
• 45:45
  You
• 45:45
  know,
• 45:45
  people
• 45:46
  can
• 45:46
  do
• 45:46
  it.
• 45:46
  So
• 45:47
  I
• 45:47
  want
• 45:47
  them
• 45:47
  to
• 45:47
  see,
• 45:48
  like,
• 45:48
  hey,
• 45:49
  if
• 45:49
  you're
• 45:49
  in
• 45:49
  this
• 45:49
  situation,
• 45:49
  it's
• 45:50
  bad.
• 45:51
  You
• 45:51
  need
• 45:51
  to
• 45:51
  get
• 45:52
  out.
• 45:52
  Yes,
• 45:53
  the
• 45:53
  story
• 45:53
  is
• 45:53
  tragic,
• 45:55
  but
• 45:56
  over
• 45:56
  here,
• 45:57
  on
• 45:57
  the
• 45:57
  other
• 45:57
  side,
• 45:58
  you
• 45:59
  can
• 45:59
  be
• 45:59
  living
• 45:59
  your
• 46:00
  best
• 46:00
  life,
• 46:00
  happier
• 46:01
  than
• 46:01
  you've
• 46:01
  ever
• 46:01
  been.
• 46:02
  Yes.
• 46:02
  100%.
• 46:03
  Looking
• 46:04
  back,
• 46:04
  would
• 46:05
  you
• 46:05
  change
• 46:05
  anything?
• 46:08
  No.
• 46:08
  Well,
• 46:09
  because
• 46:09
  I
• 46:09
  couldn't
• 46:10
  end
• 46:10
  up
• 46:10
  here.
• 46:10
  You
• 46:11
  know,
• 46:11
  I
• 46:11
  just
• 46:11
  said
• 46:12
  the
• 46:12
  other
• 46:12
  night,
• 46:13
  like,
• 46:13
  you
• 46:13
  know,
• 46:14
  would
• 46:14
  I,
• 46:15
  if
• 46:16
  possible,
• 46:17
  learn
• 46:17
  my
• 46:17
  lesson
• 46:18
  sooner
• 46:18
  and
• 46:19
  skip
• 46:19
  all
• 46:19
  the
• 46:19
  pain?
• 46:20
  Of
• 46:20
  course.
• 46:21
  You
• 46:21
  know,
• 46:21
  I
• 46:22
  can't
• 46:22
  say
• 46:22
  I'm
• 46:22
  happy
• 46:23
  I
• 46:23
  got
• 46:23
  set
• 46:23
  on
• 46:23
  fire,
• 46:24
  but
• 46:24
  I
• 46:24
  can
• 46:24
  say
• 46:25
  that
• 46:25
  I'm
• 46:26
  grateful
• 46:26
  for
• 46:26
  everything
• 46:26
  that's
• 46:27
  happened
• 46:27
  since.
• 46:28
  And
• 46:28
  if
• 46:28
  that
• 46:28
  was
• 46:29
  a
• 46:29
  part
• 46:29
  of
• 46:29
  it,
• 46:29
  then
• 46:29
  that's
• 46:30
  what
• 46:30
  it
• 46:30
  is.
• 46:31
  And
• 46:31
  look
• 46:31
  what
• 46:31
  you've
• 46:31
  done
• 46:32
  with
• 46:32
  it.
• 46:32
  I
• 46:32
  mean,
• 46:32
  it's
• 46:32
  absolutely
• 46:33
  amazing.
• 46:34
  And
• 46:34
  I
• 46:34
  feel
• 46:34
  kind
• 46:35
  of
• 46:35
  like
• 46:35
  a
• 46:35
  badass.
• 46:36
  Like,
• 46:36
  it's
• 46:36
  like
• 46:36
  a
• 46:36
  word.
• 46:38
  Hello.
• 46:39
  This
• 46:39
  is
• 46:39
  what
• 46:39
  I
• 46:39
  see
• 46:40
  in
• 46:40
  your
• 46:40
  future.
• 46:40
  Like
• 46:41
  in
• 46:41
  the
• 46:41
  next
• 46:41
  year,
• 46:41
  talk
• 46:42
  show
• 46:42
  and
• 46:42
  modeling
• 46:43
  for
• 46:43
  Fenty.
• 46:43
  Right.
• 46:44
  Like,
• 46:44
  and
• 46:45
  we're
• 46:45
  going
• 46:45
  to
• 46:45
  get
• 46:45
  that.
• 46:46
  And
• 46:46
  I
• 46:46
  need
• 46:46
  a
• 46:46
  Netflix
• 46:47
  original.
• 46:47
  Yes,
• 46:48
  the
• 46:48
  Netflix
• 46:49
  original.
• 46:49
  That
• 46:49
  is
• 46:50
  no
• 46:50
  doubt
• 46:50
  going
• 46:51
  to
• 46:51
  happen.
• 46:51
  I
• 46:51
  mean,
• 46:51
  it's
• 46:52
  all
• 46:52
  happening.
• 46:52
  Yes,
• 46:53
  it
• 46:53
  is.
• 46:53
  Yes,
• 46:54
  it
• 46:54
  is.
• 46:54
  It's
• 46:54
  happening.
• 46:55
  It's
• 46:55
  happening.
• 46:55
  I
• 46:56
  mean,
• 46:56
  the
• 46:56
  way
• 46:56
  that
• 46:56
  people
• 46:57
  have,
• 46:58
  you
• 46:58
  know,
• 46:58
  embraced
• 46:59
  you,
• 46:59
  especially
• 47:00
  on
• 47:00
  social
• 47:00
  media,
• 47:01
  has
• 47:01
  been
• 47:01
  amazing.
• 47:02
  So
• 47:03
  grateful,
• 47:03
  so
• 47:03
  great.
• 47:04
  But
• 47:04
  it
• 47:04
  does
• 47:04
  mean
• 47:04
  that
• 47:05
  they
• 47:05
  relate
• 47:05
  to
• 47:06
  me.
• 47:06
  Yes.
• 47:06
  And
• 47:06
  that's
• 47:07
  huge
• 47:08
  to
• 47:08
  realize,
• 47:08
  how
• 47:08
  widespread.
• 47:09
  Yes.
• 47:09
  And
• 47:09
  it's
• 47:10
  not
• 47:10
  even
• 47:10
  necessarily
• 47:10
  that
• 47:11
  maybe
• 47:11
  they
• 47:11
  had
• 47:11
  the
• 47:11
  exact
• 47:12
  same
• 47:12
  thing
• 47:12
  happen
• 47:13
  to
• 47:13
  them,
• 47:13
  but
• 47:14
  they
• 47:14
  might
• 47:14
  be
• 47:14
  feeling
• 47:15
  the
• 47:15
  same
• 47:15
  way.
• 47:15
  You
• 47:16
  know,
• 47:16
  it's
• 47:16
  like,
• 47:16
  people
• 47:17
  are
• 47:17
  right.
• 47:18
  It's
• 47:18
  more
• 47:18
  so
• 47:19
  about
• 47:19
  resilience.
• 47:19
  That's
• 47:20
  why
• 47:20
  the
• 47:20
  important
• 47:20
  part
• 47:21
  is
• 47:21
  about
• 47:21
  what
• 47:21
  happened
• 47:22
  next.
• 47:22
  Because
• 47:22
  whatever
• 47:24
  knocked
• 47:24
  you
• 47:24
  off
• 47:24
  the
• 47:25
  horse,
• 47:25
  Right.
• 47:25
  It's
• 47:26
  not
• 47:26
  about
• 47:26
  that.
• 47:26
  It's
• 47:27
  about
• 47:27
  getting
• 47:27
  back
• 47:27
  on
• 47:28
  it.
• 47:28
  That's
• 47:28
  right.
• 47:28
  That's
• 47:29
  absolutely
• 47:29
  right.
• 47:29
  Well,
• 47:30
  Tanya,
• 47:30
  thank
• 47:30
  you
• 47:31
  so
• 47:31
  much
• 47:31
  for
• 47:31
  joining
• 47:32
  us.
• 47:32
  Your
• 47:32
  story
• 47:32
  is
• 47:33
  just
• 47:34
  as
• 47:34
  soon
• 47:34
  as
• 47:35
  I
• 47:35
  heard
• 47:35
  it,
• 47:35
  like,
• 47:35
  it
• 47:35
  hit
• 47:36
  me,
• 47:36
  and
• 47:36
  I
• 47:37
  knew
• 47:37
  I
• 47:37
  wanted
• 47:37
  you
• 47:37
  to
• 47:37
  come
• 47:38
  on
• 47:38
  the
• 47:38
  iconic
• 47:38
  midlife,
• 47:39
  because
• 47:39
  no
• 47:39
  doubt
• 47:39
  you
• 47:39
  are
• 47:39
  going
• 47:40
  to
• 47:40
  help
• 47:40
  so
• 47:40
  many
• 47:40
  women
• 47:41
  listening
• 47:41
  and
• 47:41
  watching.
• 47:42
  So
• 47:42
  if
• 47:42
  people
• 47:43
  want
• 47:43
  to
• 47:44
  follow
• 47:44
  you
• 47:44
  and
• 47:45
  find
• 47:45
  out
• 47:45
  more
• 47:45
  about
• 47:45
  you.
• 47:46
  Where
• 47:46
  can
• 47:46
  they
• 47:46
  do
• 47:47
  that?
• 47:47
  You
• 47:47
  can
• 47:48
  find
• 47:48
  me
• 47:49
  on
• 47:49
  Every
• 47:49
  platform
• 47:50
  as
• 47:51
  Burned
• 47:51
  Beauty2018
• 47:53
  literally
• 47:54
  everyone
• 47:55
  I
• 47:55
  do
• 47:55
  lives
• 47:56
  on
• 47:56
  YouTube.
• 47:58
  Might
• 47:58
  start
• 47:58
  doing
• 47:58
  some
• 47:59
  on
• 47:59
  TikTok
• 47:59
  again,
• 47:59
  but
• 48:00
  all
• 48:00
  my
• 48:00
  I
• 48:01
  always
• 48:01
  make
• 48:01
  sure
• 48:01
  to
• 48:02
  post
• 48:02
  all
• 48:02
  my
• 48:02
  content
• 48:03
  to
• 48:03
  every
• 48:03
  platform
• 48:04
  because
• 48:04
  the
• 48:05
  goal
• 48:05
  is
• 48:05
  to
• 48:05
  reach
• 48:06
  everyone
• 48:07
  neat
• 48:08
  people
• 48:08
  where
• 48:08
  they
• 48:08
  live.
• 48:09
  So
• 48:09
  you'll
• 48:09
  find
• 48:09
  me.
• 48:10
  Oh
• 48:10
  it's
• 48:10
  amazing.
• 48:11
  And
• 48:11
  I
• 48:11
  can't
• 48:11
  wait.
• 48:12
  I
• 48:12
  can't
• 48:12
  wait
• 48:12
  to
• 48:12
  see
• 48:12
  that
• 48:12
  Netflix
• 48:13
  show
• 48:13
  and
• 48:13
  that
• 48:13
  modeling
• 48:13
  gig
• 48:14
  with
• 48:14
  Rihanna.
• 48:14
  Yes,
• 48:15
  it's
• 48:15
  happening.
• 48:16
  It's
• 48:16
  happening.
• 48:18
  Call
• 48:18
  her.
• 48:18
  Call
• 48:18
  Tanya.
• 48:21
  Amazing.
• 48:22
  Thank
• 48:22
  you
• 48:22
  so
• 48:22
  much,
• 48:23
  Tanya
• 48:23
  for
• 48:23
  joining
• 48:23
  us
• 48:24
  on
• 48:24
  the
• 48:24
  Iconic
• 48:24
  Midlife.
• 48:25
  I
• 48:25
  am
• 48:26
  so
• 48:26
  happy
• 48:27
  to
• 48:27
  have
• 48:27
  been
• 48:27
  here.
• 48:27
  Thank
• 48:28
  you.
• 48:28
  Thank
• 48:28
  you.
• 48:29
  What
• 48:29
  an
• 48:29
  extraordinary
• 48:30
  conversation.
• 48:31
  Tanya's
• 48:32
  story
• 48:32
  reminds
• 48:33
  us
• 48:33
  that
• 48:33
  beauty
• 48:33
  isn't
• 48:34
  the
• 48:34
  absence
• 48:35
  of
• 48:35
  scars
• 48:35
  and
• 48:36
  it's
• 48:36
  the
• 48:36
  courage
• 48:36
  to
• 48:37
  stop
• 48:37
  hiding
• 48:37
  them.
• 48:38
  Whether
• 48:39
  your
• 48:39
  scars
• 48:39
  are
• 48:39
  visible
• 48:40
  or
• 48:40
  invisible,
• 48:41
  whether
• 48:41
  they
• 48:42
  came
• 48:42
  from
• 48:42
  trauma,
• 48:43
  illness,
• 48:43
  heartbreak,
• 48:44
  motherhood,
• 48:45
  or
• 48:45
  simply
• 48:46
  the
• 48:46
  passage
• 48:46
  of
• 48:46
  time,
• 48:47
  I
• 48:47
  hope
• 48:48
  today's
• 48:48
  conversation
• 48:49
  reminded
• 48:49
  you
• 48:50
  that
• 48:50
  your
• 48:51
  story
• 48:51
  is
• 48:52
  still
• 48:52
  being
• 48:52
  written.
• 48:53
  If
• 48:53
  this
• 48:53
  episode
• 48:54
  moved
• 48:54
  you,
• 48:54
  inspired
• 48:55
  you,
• 48:55
  or
• 48:55
  made
• 48:56
  you
• 48:56
  think
• 48:56
  differently
• 48:57
  about
• 48:57
  your
• 48:57
  own
• 48:58
  journey,
• 48:58
  I'd
• 48:59
  be
• 48:59
  so
• 48:59
  grateful
• 49:00
  if
• 49:00
  you'd
• 49:00
  help
• 49:01
  us
• 49:01
  reach
• 49:01
  more
• 49:02
  women
• 49:02
  by
• 49:02
  following
• 49:03
  the
• 49:03
  show,
• 49:04
  downloading
• 49:04
  this
• 49:04
  episode,
• 49:05
  and
• 49:05
  leaving
• 49:05
  a
• 49:06
  quick
• 49:06
  review
• 49:06
  on
• 49:07
  Apple
• 49:07
  Podcasts,
• 49:08
  Spotify,
• 49:08
  or
• 49:09
  Amazon
• 49:09
  Music.
• 49:10
  Those
• 49:11
  reviews
• 49:11
  truly
• 49:11
  make
• 49:12
  a
• 49:12
  difference
• 49:12
  and
• 49:13
  help
• 49:13
  other
• 49:13
  women
• 49:14
  discover
• 49:14
  these
• 49:15
  conversations.
• 49:16
  You
• 49:16
  can
• 49:16
  also
• 49:16
  watch
• 49:17
  the
• 49:17
  full
• 49:17
  video
• 49:17
  episode
• 49:18
  on
• 49:18
  YouTube
• 49:19
  by
• 49:19
  searching
• 49:20
  the
• 49:20
  Iconic
• 49:21
  Midlife
• 49:21
  and
• 49:21
  be
• 49:22
  sure
• 49:22
  to
• 49:22
  follow
• 49:22
  us
• 49:22
  on
• 49:22
  social
• 49:23
  media,
• 49:24
  heconicmidlife
• 49:25
  and
• 49:25
  edcarpetroxy
• 49:27
  for
• 49:27
  behind
• 49:27
  the
• 49:28
  scenes
• 49:28
  moments,
• 49:28
  clips
• 49:29
  and
• 49:29
  updates
• 49:29
  on
• 49:30
  upcoming
• 49:30
  guests.
• 49:31
  Thank
• 49:31
  you
• 49:31
  so
• 49:32
  much
• 49:32
  for
• 49:32
  spending
• 49:32
  part
• 49:33
  of
• 49:33
  your
• 49:33
  day
• 49:33
  with
• 49:33
  us.
• 49:34
  Until
• 49:34
  next
• 49:34
  time,
• 49:35
  remember
• 49:35
  this
• 49:36
  life
• 49:36
  may
• 49:36
  change
• 49:37
  the
• 49:37
  way
• 49:37
  you
• 49:37
  look,
• 49:38
  but
• 49:38
  it
• 49:39
  never
• 49:39
  gets
• 49:39
  to
• 49:39
  decide
• 49:40
  your
• 49:40
  worth.
• 49:40
  I'll
• 49:41
  see
• 49:41
  you
• 49:41
  next
• 49:42
  week
• 49:42
  on
• 49:42
  the
• 49:42
  Iconic
• 49:43
  Midlife.