Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – Barney for sex education?
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Here we go, we go.
- 0:02Speaker 2: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM
- 0:07Speaker 2: Mornings KF Mornings.
- 0:10Speaker 3: Okay, senseless survey time. This is where I asked the
- 0:14Speaker 3: questions that others are too afraid to all in the
- 0:19Speaker 3: interest of the betterment of South African Okay, very serious.
- 0:23Speaker 1: This is where you corner innocent South Africans who are
- 0:26Speaker 1: generous with their time, thinking that they are bettering their country,
- 0:31Speaker 1: but they are just answering nonsense.
- 0:35Speaker 3: Interestingly, you know what, You're not too wrong in that assessment.
- 0:42Speaker 1: You know what says The survey's taught me that South
- 0:44Speaker 1: Africans are really patient people, truly that this man is
- 0:51Speaker 1: just very persistent. People have had to want to hang up.
- 0:55Speaker 1: And the last question, last question.
- 0:58Speaker 3: Question, Okay, sherildon, give me a guess how many questions
- 1:05Speaker 3: will ask this morning? Seven seven SIPs, ten questions, ten roomies,
- 1:11Speaker 3: twelve questions twelve producer bread eight eight more wrong oh ah, oay,
- 1:17Speaker 3: okay for a big prize from a small business here
- 1:21Speaker 3: in the Western Cape. Take no more takers on the
- 1:25Speaker 3: WhatsApp telephone. Here is this morning's senseless survey speaking good morning, sir,
- 1:32Speaker 3: I'm agent three one nine six two. I'm calling it
- 1:35Speaker 3: from the census beerer. I'd ask you a couple questions
- 1:37Speaker 3: for your country. It'll only take you about thirty seconds.
- 1:39Speaker 2: Yes, sir, do you reckon?
- 1:41Speaker 3: They should make a bed snorkel so that you can
- 1:45Speaker 3: be completely under the covers and still breathe. No, sir,
- 1:50Speaker 3: do you think six education classes in school should be
- 1:54Speaker 3: listening to a baby craft for a solid hour while
- 1:56Speaker 3: watching Barney Cartoon?
- 1:58Speaker 1: Yes?
- 2:00Speaker 2: Putn't it be a stupid thing to do?
- 2:03Speaker 3: So? If you weigh ninety nine kilograms and eat one
- 2:06Speaker 3: kilogram of Nutcho's, then are you technically one percent? Natcho? No,
- 2:15Speaker 3: if two vegans dislike each other, is it's still considered beef.
- 2:21Speaker 2: That they wouldn't know about?
- 2:24Speaker 3: Do you know the real reason that dinosaurs went extinct
- 2:28Speaker 3: was because they suffered from a reptile dysfunction?
- 2:33Speaker 2: Never paid attention to denis so I wouldn't be able
- 2:36Speaker 2: to agree or disagree.
- 2:38Speaker 3: When you feel bugs on you even though there are
- 2:40Speaker 3: no bugs on you? Are they the ghosts of bugs
- 2:43Speaker 3: you've killed? Oh?
- 2:46Speaker 2: No, don't believe in ghosts, so that's not.
- 2:50Speaker 3: How many times at a restaurant have you thought a
- 2:52Speaker 3: family was praying at the table, but then you realize
- 2:55Speaker 3: that they were just all on their smartphones.
- 2:59Speaker 2: I don't go to I haven't witnessed it.
- 3:03Speaker 3: Do you agree that reading a book under a tree
- 3:06Speaker 3: might sound all peaceful and beautiful, But imagine how stressful
- 3:10Speaker 3: it is for the tree to see a bunch of
- 3:12Speaker 3: its dead friends in your hand. So let's get this straight.
- 3:22Speaker 3: So you go to the grocery store and you buy
- 3:25Speaker 3: a kilogram of sliced ham in a plastic bag, a
- 3:28Speaker 3: loaf of bread in a plastic bag. You get a
- 3:31Speaker 3: two liter milk in a plastic jug, a pack of
- 3:36Speaker 3: serviettes in plastic wrap, a salad from the deli in
- 3:40Speaker 3: a plastic tub, a plastic bottle of tomato sauce. But
- 3:45Speaker 3: they won't give you a plastic bag to carry it
- 3:47Speaker 3: home because the plastic bag is bad for the environment.
- 3:57Speaker 1: Why is he my favorite person?
- 4:00Speaker 3: What does he do?
- 4:00Speaker 1: Because there's a lot that he does not He does.
- 4:03Speaker 3: Know that he sits on the couch all day.
- 4:05Speaker 1: Yeah, but he was there answering your questions, but that
- 4:08Speaker 1: plastic question was too much for him.
- 4:11Speaker 3: Probably the longest question you've ever asked. Well, you know
- 4:14Speaker 3: what like on Sunday. Yesterday, I popped to the Saturday,
- 4:19Speaker 3: I popped to the.
- 4:20Speaker 1: To the shirts.
- 4:21Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, And they said to me, do you want
- 4:25Speaker 3: to buy another back? So I'm not the shopper in
- 4:28Speaker 3: the house. I don't have a bootfull of these backs.
- 4:31Speaker 3: And you'll know who I'm talking about when I say
- 4:34Speaker 3: it's like fifty four rand for a back. So I'm like, no,
- 4:39Speaker 3: it's okay. I'm going to carry this stuff out myself.
- 4:42Speaker 3: So I took my shirt and I made like a
- 4:46Speaker 3: scoop with my shirts, and I packed this up. This
- 4:49Speaker 3: is about was this you protesting refusing to buy a
- 4:54Speaker 3: plastic I'm saving the environment. This is not about being frugal.
- 4:59Speaker 3: This is about in environmental safety. So I'm walking there
- 5:02Speaker 3: with my shirt scooped, carrying all my stuff because I
- 5:06Speaker 3: only have two hands and I couldn't carry all these items.
- 5:10Speaker 3: And I'm walking out there, but I'm looking at this
- 5:13Speaker 3: and I'm looking at all the plastic and it's duck plastic.
- 5:17Speaker 3: It's thick plastic. It's not thin plastic. It's not a
- 5:21Speaker 3: thin plastic bag. And I thought, wow, this doesn't make sense.
- 5:28Speaker 3: Let me put it to the senseless survey.
- 5:31Speaker 1: So now The Sensor Survey is a playground for you
- 5:34Speaker 1: to settle your scores.