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Is The Word Narcissist Thrown Around Too Much? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So y'all, is the word narcissist overused?
• 0:03
  I, I, hey, I already know this is going to be a sensitive topic
• 0:07
  for a lot of people and a lot of people are going to hop in the
• 0:09
  conversation and say yes, hell yeah.
• 0:11
  I'm so happy you tackled this topic.
• 0:13
  And some people like, no, Lee, it's not overused.
• 0:16
  What do I stand as a diagnosed narcissist?
• 0:19
  If you're new here, I'm a diagnosed narcissist and my name
• 0:21
  is Lee Hammock. And I give you an inside look at
• 0:23
  the mind of a narcissist and we're hopping right into it.
• 0:26
  Y'all no filler, no intro. I missed the intro y'all missed
• 0:30
  the intro. Let me know if y'all missed the
• 0:31
  intro but y'all is it overused? So I was talking to some people
• 0:36
  in my support group, the mental healers.
• 0:38
  You can find that at mentalillness.net.
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  I was talking to them right? And we were having our Sunday
• 0:43
  night Zoom meeting and one of the one of my members hopped on
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  and she's like, at first I always thought the word
• 0:50
  narcissist was overused until I started experiencing A
• 0:55
  narcissistic person. So what do I think?
• 1:00
  Let me get you out. Let me get you out my thoughts
• 1:01
  on this right here. Because is it overused?
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  Is everybody that's throwing the word narcissist around dealing
• 1:08
  with a narcissist? No, I just don't think that it's
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  possible. So technically it probably is
• 1:13
  overused, right? Not everybody's a narcissist.
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  And what one thing what people are going to say is like it's
• 1:19
  overused because everybody who's saying that their ex is a
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  narcissist is not qualified to diagnose anybody as a
• 1:27
  narcissist. Nobody is diagnosing anybody,
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  right? We're not Hey, take this psych
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  eval really quick. I'm trying to see something.
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  Nobody is handing their partner a psychiatric evaluation to
• 1:38
  take, right? But you know what you've
• 1:40
  experienced, You know, the behaviors it just lie happens to
• 1:44
  line up with this, the stuff that narcissism is all this says
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  about it online. The traits and behaviors that
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  you are experiencing line up with the traits and behaviors of
• 1:53
  a narcissist or a highly narcissistic toxic person,
• 1:57
  right? So yeah, it could absolutely be
• 2:00
  overused right now because sometimes people I get I see
• 2:03
  somebody in the comment section like Lee, do narcissists do
• 2:06
  this? And I'm just like, what is what
• 2:07
  are you talking about? And like, do narcissists all
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  snore? Do they all fart in their sleep?
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  Do they whatever they serious somebody actually do all
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  narcissists snore or do they fart their sleep or whatever?
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  Do they do they scream or have night terrors and stuff like
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  that? I get like, no, that's not
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  narcissism. Yeah, that's something else.
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  Could be a possession, could be a demon, right?
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  I know something I would like to say is demon, but no, it doesn't
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  always mean that it's a narcissistic person, right?
• 2:34
  But I'll say this as well. Most people, I think the word
• 2:38
  narcissist might be overused, but so many people are thankful
• 2:42
  that it's overused, right? So many people have, it's
• 2:45
  overused to the point where a lot of people have been awakened
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  to what? Awakened to what they were going
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  through. If it had not been overused, if
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  it had been, it is not thrown around as much.
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  So many people would not be aware of what they're going
• 2:58
  through. If I would have gotten called a
• 3:00
  narcissist to my face by my wife as she left out the door, I
• 3:03
  would have never knew what it was, right?
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  I might still be around here, still be out here at 40 years
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  old, still being narcissistic, right?
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  Still doing the narcissistic stuff, still being a
• 3:15
  undiagnosed. I was not diagnosed at the time,
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  but she called me a narcissist. It's so damn hard to live with a
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  narcissist. What a narcissist.
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  You're a narcissist. Because what I thought, what I
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  thought the word narcissist meant was just a cocky conceited
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  person, right? I was like, why?
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  Can't help how I look? I can't help that I'm handsome,
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  damn it. Like I can't help my how my face
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  look get out of here. I can't help but I'm fit.
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  You talking about you know what I'm saying?
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  That was stupid. I know it's dumb, but that's how
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  my mind worked. I always thought it was just an
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  attack on me for my physical attributes or my just my
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  confidence, which could be borderline cockiness, right?
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  But that's what happens to so many people.
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  You don't unders like you don't realize it.
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  So I think it needs to be thrown around.
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  I like I say, you're not saying you have narcissistic
• 4:00
  personality disorder. Nobody's not everybody's saying
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  that. Nobody's throwing around the
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  diagnosis like that. You have clinical narcissistic
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  personality disorder. You've been diagnosed with the
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  DSM 5, the MMPI 2 and the PDQ 4. That's what you are.
• 4:14
  No, I think the word narcissist has helped so many people out,
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  including myself, because if it hadn't been thrown around and
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  my, my wife's aunt wouldn't have said it to her, wouldn't just
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  say, hey, my ex is a narcissist. You might need to check into
• 4:29
  this about Lee Boom. That's how I got bought to my
• 4:32
  that's how I got bought to my attention because they were
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  throwing it around, right? But they knew what they had
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  experienced. The traits were similar.
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  The traits were out there. So they knew exactly what they
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  had been experiencing. So they knew it right.
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  So that's what I'm just saying. I'm a huge proponent of people
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  just like seriously, I'm a huge proponent of people
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  understanding what they went through because thank God it's
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  used. Thank God it's blown over.
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  Thank God it's blown overboard. Because if it wasn't, so many
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  people would not understand what they've been through.
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  So many people right now, it still don't understand what
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  they're going through. That's why I have millions of
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  people that follow me, almost what, almost three and a half
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  million people that follow me throughout all my platforms now.
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  Like that's crazy to me. And they're still up the three,
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  three and a half million people is not even what it's about 1%
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  of the population of the United States.
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  So only 1% of the people would know.
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  Like, you see what I'm saying, people, they follow me, but
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  other people might know it but not follow me, right?
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  Let's just say 2% of people that know, there's still hundreds of
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  millions of people that might be going through some type of
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  something similar. They haven't been awakened to
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  what they're going through. At least millions of people,
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  right? At least millions of people that
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  are going through something similar, going through this
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  narcissistic abuse, getting gas lit, getting manipulated,
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  getting guilt tripped, getting lied to and cheated on and
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  making it feel like it's their fault that they got lied to.
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  It's their fault. Like I went through your phone
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  and caught you cheating. But the biggest issue is me
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  going through the phone. You know what I'm saying?
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  That's insane. That's crazy, but that's the
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  mentality that so many narcissistic people have right
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  there. They want you to feel like they
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  seriously want you to feel like you are the problem.
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  That's why I'm just happy that the word narcissist came into my
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  life because it is that it has allowed me to help out so many
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  other people. You know what I'm saying?
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  It really has allowed me the space to grow in within myself
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  and to help wake other people up.
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  Now there's now not every of course y'all, not everyone is a
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  narcissist. I think that we all can agree on
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  that right there. Not every single person that you
• 6:40
  encounter or you've dealt with is a full blown narcissist.
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  Could they have narcissistic traits?
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  Absolutely. Hell yeah, they can have
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  narcissistic traits. But are they a full blown
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  psychotic narcissist? Maybe not right?
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  But I think the word narcissist at least, like I said, at least
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  allows people, yeah, the label of narcissists or the word of it
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  at least allows people to understand what they went
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  through. And I feel like that's so to me,
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  yeah. I feel like that's so important
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  to people, not just the people in general, but I feel like
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  that's so important to most that are going through this.
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  Most that are dealing with this type of stuff, like dealing with
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  narcissistic people is such a tough thing to experience, a
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  tough thing to do. And I'm just so I'm so thankful
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  and grateful that it it was open.
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  It bought into my life because without the word narcissist,
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  there'll be so many people out there just lost.
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  Just anybody else. Think about the time before
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  social media. A lot of people act like
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  narcissist or the word narcissist is, is new.
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  It's not narcissist. They're narcissistic people in
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  the Bible. They're narcissistic people in,
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  in, in Greek and Roman times. They're narcissistic people
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  everywhere. You know what I'm saying?
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  Everywhere they, they all they've been through the,
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  through the, you know, they have been narcissistic people from in
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  all throughout history, psychopaths all throughout
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  history. You think you think the dude
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  that ran Germany, that, that led Germany into World War 2, that
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  dude right there with the mustache man.
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  You think that he was a normal, a normal functioning person or
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  you think he was a literal sociopath or a psychopath
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  narcissist at minimum. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's been around for a long time.
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  It's just that right now social media is shining a brighter
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  light on it, right? The word narcissist.
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  Like some of our grandparents would deal with grandparents or
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  great grandparents. We're dealing with narcissistic
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  partners or spouses, but they didn't understand what they went
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  through. This is just normal behavior.
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  This is just my husband. This is just how my wife acts.
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  This is just who she is. This is how she's always been.
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  This is how he's always been. I just learned.
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  I just learned how to deal with it, right?
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  This is what so many people have been saying over the years.
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  I just learned how to to deal with it right.
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  There are people that I talked to y'all that have that have
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  been married for 40 years. They just woke up to what
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  they've been through, the word narcissist where they were in
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  their car or something driving and one of my videos or so, one
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  of my podcasts came online and the word narcissist, they hear,
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  they heard it and they understood.
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  They started understanding what they were dealing with.
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  They definitely did. They started understanding what
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  they dealt with and it helps out so many people, right?
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  Imagine being 70 years old and waking up to what you've been
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  through. Waking up and understanding what
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  has happened and the things that you've been through and things
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  like that. Think about it from that
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  perspective right there. It it doesn't like I said, it's
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  helped so many people out, even if they're waking up in their
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  60s or 70s. I thought the 70 year old people
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  on it through my one-on-one calls that I'm so glad the word
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  narcissist came into my life or I, I figured out about it right,
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  because it helped me understand my son-in-law.
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  It helped me understand my daughter-in-law.
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  It helped me understand my husband or my wife.
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  It helped me understand them. Like I'm glad to wake up now
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  then to not ever know what I was going through because I've been
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  feel like I've been feeling like I was going crazy for twenty,
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  30-40 years. That's why I say it's so
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  important to keep talking about narcissism, to keep talking
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  about narcissistic abuse, to keep to allow people to keep
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  waking up and they allow them to, to move forward and to help
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  them understand what they've been through and what they've
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  been experiencing. It is extremely important to so
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  many people, right? That's why I'm just saying,
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  like, as you keep going forward out here, yeah, it might be
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  overused and it might be annoying, but so many people
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  don't believe in everybody's a narcissist because they haven't
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  experienced it, right? Not everybody is a narcissist.
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  Like so many people don't believe when people are sharing
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  their stories about narcissistic abuse because they haven't been
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  through it. They don't understand it.
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  And thank God they don't understand sometimes.
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  Thank God they haven't been through it.
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  But to invalidate somebody because you don't, because you
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  don't understand it, it's kind of wild, right?
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  It's kind of wild to invalidate somebody's somebody's
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  experiences because you yourself haven't experienced it is very,
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  that's a very toxic mindset to have in and of itself, Right.
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  So the word narcissist has helped wake up so many people.
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  I don't, yeah, it might be thrown around a lot, but is that
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  a bad thing if it's helped so many help, help so many people
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  understand what they went through and heal.
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  I don't want a counter side of it.
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  I don't want a counterpoint on it.
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  There are there people out there that are, that are actually
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  narcissists that are playing the victim absolutely right.
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  There are a lot of narcissists out there.
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  There are a lot of narcissistic people out there who have Co
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  opted the word narcissist and are using it against people,
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  right? They're using to try to make it
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  seem like they're trying to make it seem like they themselves
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  were the victim when they absolutely are not.
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  They are not the victim here and believe what about the people
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  who falsely use the word narcissist to destroy somebody's
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  lives? I, I could the word narcissist
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  call us my narcissist, ruin their reputation Possibly, but I
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  haven't seen that happen yet. That's crazy, right?
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  I really haven't seen that happen as much.
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  I haven't seen it yet. I don't think.
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  I don't, I can't think of an example, but somebody just
• 12:01
  caught somebody falsely called somebody a narcissist and it
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  ruined their life, right? Yeah.
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  It can set you off, especially if you're an empath, being
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  called a narcissist, It can set you off on a spiral where you
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  feel like you have to defend yourself and you're constantly
• 12:14
  going crazy and dealing with this type of person, right.
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  It can be a lot. So as you keep healing, as you
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  keep growing, yeah, the word narcissist might be tossed
• 12:23
  around way too much. But I think there are so many
• 12:26
  people out there that are thankful that it is because it
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  helped wake them up. If it wasn't tossed around as
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  much, there'll be, there'll still be so many people sleep
• 12:35
  right now. They won't, they wouldn't
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  understand what they've been through or what they've
• 12:39
  experienced because they would have no idea.
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  Because how would you know you something like, how would you
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  know? Because you haven't, you haven't
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  done what it would not. They will say, I think it's so
• 12:48
  important to help wake people up to narcissistic abuse or these
• 12:52
  toxic relationship dynamics because there's so many people
• 12:54
  out there that need help. So it might be thrown around a
• 12:57
  lot, but I'm grateful that it is personally because it helped me
• 13:00
  grow. It's helped so many other people
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  out as well. Anyway, y'all, my courses, my
• 13:05
  coaching, every single thing you want to know about me is that
• 13:07
  mental illness.net All things Lee Hamburg go there.
• 13:12
  Hey, this subscribe. But yeah, I'm out.
• 13:13
  Peace.