Latest / Scripture Central / Filling the Hole in Your Heart | Genesis 24-33 | Come Follow Me 2026 | John Hilton III | Mar 2-8

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Filling the Hole in Your Heart | Genesis 24-33 | Come Follow Me 2026 | John Hilton III | Mar 2-8 · Scripture Central

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Right now you might be in a wrestle like Jacob.
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Maybe you are greatly afraid and distressed.
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Whenever we put our deepest hopes into anything other than
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God, eventually we wake up and we realize it's not enough.
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Remember, Jesus is not wrestling against us.
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He wrestled for us and He has said it is finished.
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When I was a kid, I used to think that life worked something
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like this. You make good plans, you try
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hard, you choose the right. You have a perfect life.
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But life has a way of throwing you curveballs, like a serious
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health challenge comes your way. Or you graduate from college but
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you're not married and you don't have a job.
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Or you fall in love with the person that you love doesn't
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love you. Or you're married and you have
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kids, but you're struggling with the happily ever after.
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So often in life we struggle, and today we're going to see
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several people who struggle. We'll talk about Rebecca's leap,
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Esau's trade, Isaac's blessing, Jacob's ladder, Leah's
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heartbreak, and Israel's wrestle.
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Each of these people are trying to fill a hole in their heart,
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and Genesis will show us what works and what doesn't.
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So let's start with Rebecca's leap as Genesis 24 begins.
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Abraham is now very old. His wife Sarah has passed away
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and Abraham has one basic goal left, finding a wife for his son
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Isaac. Abraham doesn't want Isaac to
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marry a local Canaanite woman. That would be like marrying
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outside of the covenant. So Abraham sends his servant
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back to the land of Abraham's ancestors to find a wife for
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Isaac. It was a lot of work.
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It would have been way easier if they would have had mutual like
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they do today. Can you imagine Isaac's mutual
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profile? I love quiet walks in the fields
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at sunset. Just looking for someone who
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draws water and draws close to God.
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Well, Abraham's servant is incredibly diligent.
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He journeys to Abraham's hometown, bringing along a
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caravan of camels. This was a several 100 mile
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journey and when he arrives, he stops outside the town at the
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well and offers a heartfelt prayer.
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Listen to his words. Abraham's servant says, Lord God
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of my master Abraham, make me successful.
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Today I am standing beside this spring and the daughters of the
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townspeople are coming out to draw water.
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May it be that when I say to a young woman, please let down
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your jar, that I may have a drink.
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And she says, drink, and I'll water your camels too.
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Let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac.
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Before he even finishes his prayer, Rebecca appears.
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The servant approaches her and says, please give me a little
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water from your jar. And Rebecca answers exactly the
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way she prayed. She's like, sure, I'll give you
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water and let me give water to your camels as well.
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So we see that Rebecca is a hard worker because remember, the
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servant has 10 camels with him, and camels drink a lot of water.
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Notice the verbs the narrator uses to describe Rebecca's
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actions. She quickly emptied her jar, ran
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back to the well to draw more water.
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The young woman ran and told her mother's household about these
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things. Rebecca is truly remarkable.
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She's quick to serve, and she's also quick to believe.
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When the servant explains everything, his connection to
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Abraham, his prayer, God's guidance, Rebecca's family
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agrees that this is from God. But then Abraham's servant says,
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OK, and now let's go right away. What would you feel if you were
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Rebecca's mother? What would you feel if you were
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Rebecca? The family says, I don't know.
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And they turn to Rebecca and say, Will you go with this man I
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love Rebecca's response. I will go.
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I wonder if we sometimes Passover how courageous this
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moment was. We often highlight Nephi's
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phrase, I will go and do the things which the Lord hath
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commanded, but Rebecca's I will go is no less powerful.
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Rebecca exercises faith to move forward with God's plan, so she
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travels with the servant back to Canaan.
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And Genesis 24 ends with this beautiful verse.
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Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he
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married Rebecca so she became his wife and he loved her.
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But that doesn't mean that everyone just lives happily ever
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after. 20 years pass and Isaac and Rebecca struggle with
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infertility just like Abraham and Sarah had.
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Eventually God answers their prayers and Rebecca becomes
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pregnant with twins. But then something strange
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happens. The babies jostled each other
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within her and she said why is this happening to me?
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So she went to inquire of the Lord.
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The Lord said to her, two nations are in your womb and two
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peoples from within you will be separated.
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One people will be stronger than the other, and the older will
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serve the younger. This is one of the earliest
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recorded revelations given specifically to a woman.
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Again, this tells us something about Rebecca's character.
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God told Rebecca that the younger son, Jacob would rule,
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not the older son Esau. It was Jacob who would inherit
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the covenant blessings. So when the twins are born, Esau
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comes out first. He's all red and hairy, and
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Jacob follows immediately after grasping his brother's heels.
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So we're set to see that there will be conflict.
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And let's look at the first episode of conflict, the well
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known story of Esau's trade. You probably know the basic
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storyline, but let's walk through it.
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In Genesis chapter 25, starting in verse 29, we read once when
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Jacob was cooking some Stew. Esau came in from the open
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country, famished. He said to Jacob, quick, let me
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have some of that red Stew. I'm famished.
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Jacob replied, first sell me your birthright.
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Look, I'm about to die. Esau said, what good is the
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birthright to me? But Jacob said, swear to me
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first. So Esau swore an oath selling
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his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob gave Esau some bread
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and some lentil Stew. He ate and drank and then got up
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and left. So Esau despised his birthright.
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Now, growing up, when I heard the story of my first reaction
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was like, man, Jacob is such a mean brother.
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Esau starving, he's about to die, and Jacob's going to use
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that as a bargaining chip. But think about it.
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Do you think that Esau was really about to die?
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I mean, how far is it from Jacob's tent to Esau's or
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Rebecca's? What, Esau really collapsed
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right there on the kitchen floor?
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Maybe, but probably not. Notice what the New Testament
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says. See that no one is godless like
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Esau, who for a single meal sold his inheritance rights as the
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oldest son. So clearly there's something off
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with Esau here. And we might ask, what exactly
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is Esau trading for a bowl of soup?
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Culturally, the oldest would inherit a position of leadership
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in the family, a greater portion of the estate.
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And in the case of Abraham's family, it also meant carrying
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forward the covenant promises that God had made.
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So in this case, we see when Esau says what good is the
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birthright, to me it shows he didn't value his spiritual
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heritage. Esau traded his leadership in
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the Abrahamic Covenant for a bowl of soup.
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But before we point the finger at Esau, we might ask ourselves
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what modern red bean soups tempt us to trade long term blessings
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for short term satisfaction? Think about it, either in your
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life or hypothetically speaking, what modern red bean soups tempt
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us to trade long term blessings for short term satisfaction?
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Taking time in social media rather than taking time in the
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temple. Taking time with your
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scriptures, even taking time with your family.
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OK, so just scrolling through trading, it's my red bean soup.
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Wonderful. Other thoughts?
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Pornography is replacing long term blessings that are meant
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for a spouse, and so I think that that's trading your
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blessings for some soup. Powerful example, thank you.
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Another thing that I can think of is just sort of simple
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distraction. Maybe I should be completely
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present with my family, but there's some type of red bean
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soup. I don't know, maybe it's an
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interesting show on television or something that is pulling me
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away from what matters most now. When Elder David A Bernard was
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president of BYU Idaho, he taught Esau gave up his
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birthright blessing for a bowl of red bean soup.
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Would you really want to forfeit your birthright as the seed of
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Abraham fore ordained in the pre mortal existence, living on
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earth at this particular time the most glorious spiritual
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destiny you could ever hope for? Do you really want to give up
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those blessings and opportunities for a few minutes
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of messing around? Sister Susan Bednar also gave a
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poignant insight into the story. She said what series of events,
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circumstances, and prior choices would have brought Esau to this
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tragic moment. From our own experience, I
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believe we can conclude that a grave outcome such as Esau
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selling his birthright is not usually the result of a sudden
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impulse, but rather the consequence of small,
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incremental decisions made day by day.
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So this story leaves us with a question, a question that I hope
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each one of us will look deep in our hearts and ask ourselves.
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What am I treasuring and what am I trading now?
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In this story, Esau clearly seems to be in the wrong.
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But the next story is more of a Gray area.
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Let's look at the story of Isaac's blessing.
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By the time we reach Genesis chapter 27, Jacob and Esau are
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about 40 years old. That means that Isaac is 100 at
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this point. His eyesight is completely
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failing him, and he thinks the end of his life is near.
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He's actually going to live for 20 more years.
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But Isaac doesn't know that, so he calls for Esau, his older
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son, and says, go hunt some wild game for me.
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Prepare me the kind of tasty food I like and bring it to me
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to eat so that I may give you my blessing before I die.
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Rebecca was listening, and she remembers God's promise about
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Jacob. So she pulls Jacob aside and
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says, look, I overheard your father say to your brother Esau,
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prepare me some tasty food to eat so that I may give you my
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blessing. Now my son, go to the flock,
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bring me two choice young goats so I can prepare some tasty food
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for your father just the way he likes it.
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Then take it to your father to eat so that he may give you his
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blessing before he dies. Now I'll be honest, I've never
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really liked this story. Maybe it's because I'm a husband
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and a father, but I can't help think why am I reading a story
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about a wife tricking her husband and a son deceiving his
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father? Like much of Genesis, the story
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is more than 3000 years old, so we have to know that there's
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probably parts that we're missing.
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I love how the church's scripture study helps.
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Manuel gives some insight. First, it says it is possible
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that the actions of Rebecca and Jacob recorded in Genesis 27
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were overzealous, imperfect attempts to help Jacob receive
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blessings the Lord had already promised to give him.
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Some commentators say that Rebecca and Jacob, they just
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should have trusted in God more and things would have gone
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better. I know it's certainly true that
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in my life, sometimes God has given me a promise, but I'm
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still worried and stressed, and I actually wind up making things
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harder than if I would have just believed in God's promise.
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But at the same time, we also know that we're supposed to be
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proactive, right? Anxiously engaged in a good
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cause. So as the manual continues, it
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says this account may also be lacking details that could help
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us more clearly understand the actions and intentions of
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Rebecca and Jacob. So for sure we don't know the
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whole story, but we do know that Rebecca tells Jacob to deliver
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the Stew. Jacob, though, has a concern.
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He says my brother Esau is a hairy man.
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What if my father touches me? I would appear to be tricking
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him and bring down a curse on myself rather than a blessing.
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Rebecca says my son, let the curse fall on me.
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Just do what I say. Now, remember that phrase?
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We're going to come back to it. That's actually a pretty
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powerful phrase. So Jacob brings two young goats.
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Rebecca prepares the food. She dresses Jacob and Esau's
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clothes, puts on the goat skins to imitate Esau's body.
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Can you imagine? Jacob?
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He's got the tray of food. He's outside his father's den.
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He's like, oh, boy, what's going to happen here?
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Think Harry, think Harry, Right. He walks in.
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And when Jacob speaks to Isaac, Isaac is suspicious.
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He says, how did you find the game so quickly, my son?
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The voice is the voice of Jacob, but the hands are the hands of
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Esau. And so Isaac eats the meal.
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And then he pronounces the blessing, the blessing meant for
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the first born on Jacob. Jacob leaves, and as soon as he
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does, Isaac arrives, carrying his own meal.
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Isaac and Esau realize that they've been tricked.
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Isaac says. Who was it then, that haunted
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game? And brought it to me.
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I ate it just before you came. And I blessed him.
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And indeed, he will be blessed. Notice that phrase.
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Indeed, he will be blessed. Isaac could have revoked the
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blessing, but he didn't. It's like in that moment, Isaac
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recognizes this blessing really was meant for Jacob, so it's
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good for Jacob. But Esau is furious.
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He vows the days of mourning for my father are near.
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Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.
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Now pause for a moment and see how everybody living in Isaac's
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tent has a hole in their heart that they're trying to fill.
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Rebecca tries to control the situation.
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Jacob pretends to be somebody he's not.
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Esau tries to fill the hole with anger.
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And Isaac just wants to eat a good meal.
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Everyone's trying to fill the emptiness inside, but it doesn't
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work. When Rebecca heard of the
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threat, she urged Jacob to flee to her brother's Laban's house
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in her on this was a several 100 mile journey.
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Rebecca told Jacob. Stay with him for a while until
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your brother's fury subsides. And sadly, this will be the last
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time Jacob ever sees his mother. I wish we knew more about
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Rebecca. She is clearly a remarkable
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woman with spiritual foresight. God spoke to her and guided her.
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And did you notice at least a small way that she points to
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Christ? Remember her phrase, My son, let
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the curse fall on me. And that moment she points to
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someone far greater, someone who would step into the human story
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and say, let their curse fall on me.
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Give them my blessing. As the apostle Paul writes,
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Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a
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curse for us. So Jacob flees from Esau's
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wrath, leaving everything behind.
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And that takes us to the story of Jacob's Ladder.
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So stop and think about how hard it would be for Jacob.
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He's on the road. He's left everything behind.
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There's an uncertain future ahead.
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We read Jacob stopped for the night because the sun had set.
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Taking one of the stones there, he put it under his head and lay
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down to sleep. You know you're scraping the
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bottom of the barrel when a stone is your pillow.
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Now some of you might be reading this passage and little bells
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are going off in your mind, reminding you that there's a
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certain hymn you probably know and love, and it's based on this
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story. Nearer my God to thee.
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Think of the lyrics, though. Like the wanderer.
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That's Jacob. The sun gone down, remember the
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sun had set. Darkness be over me.
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My rest a stone. I don't know if you've ever
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just, you've probably seen that and you're like, I don't even
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know what I'm singing here. We're just like singing along.
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My rest is stone. That's the stone that Jacob used
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for a pillow. The hymn you love is totally
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about this experience. In this very night, Jacob is
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going to have a dream about coming nearer to God.
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We read Jacob dreamed and behold a ladder set up on the earth,
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and the top of it reached to heaven, and behold the angels of
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God ascending and descending on it on the ladder.
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So this ladder connects heaven and earth, and angels are
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traveling up and down between the two realms.
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The ladder is the path between heaven and earth.
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The Lord tells Jacob, I am the Lord, the God of your father,
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Abraham, the God of Isaac. I will give you and your
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descendants the land on which you were lying.
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All peoples on earth will be blessed through you, you and
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your offspring. I am with you and will watch
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over you wherever you go. It's beautiful.
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God is renewing the covenant with Jacob.
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Imagine Jacob waking up from this dream, his heart pounding.
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Jacob made the place Bethel, meaning House of God, and set up
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the stone pillow as a pillar of worship.
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This is a beautiful experience on its own, but there's even
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more to Jacob's ladder. Centuries later in John chapter
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1, Jesus was calling his disciples.
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One of them, Nathaniel, was skeptical at first, but Jesus
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surprised him by revealing that he knew Nathaniel even before
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meeting him. Nathaniel was stunned and he
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declared, Rabbi, you are the Son of God.
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And Jesus responds with an allusion to Genesis 28.
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He said, verily, truly I tell you, you will see the heaven
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open and the angels of God ascending and descending upon
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the Son of man. Now that phrase angels ascending
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and descending, it only appears twice in Scripture, once in
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Genesis 28 with Jacob's ladder, and then here in John chapter 1
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you can see the parallels. Jesus is deliberately connecting
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himself to Jacob's dream. Now here's the point.
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Remember that the angels, they were ascending and descending on
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a ladder, but now Jesus says angels will be ascending and
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descending on him. The latter is what linked heaven
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and earth. The latter is the path to
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heaven. And Jesus is saying, I'm the
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ladder. He's the true ladder that leads
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us to heaven. Jesus gave Jacob this promise.
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I am with you. I will not leave you.
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And he gives us that same promise today.
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So Jacob, now fortified, continues his journey to Iran.
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And that's where we'll see the story of Leah's heartbreak.
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Before Jacob meets Leah, he meets Leah's younger sister,
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Rachel. We read.
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Rachel came with her father's sheep, for she was a shepherd.
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When Jacob saw Rachel, daughter of his uncle Laban, he watered
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his uncle's sheep. Now, this sounds like a very
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nice story, right? A very nice way to treat someone
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you've just met. But then we read.
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Then Jacob kissed Rachel and began to weep aloud.
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I don't know if you should do that on your first date.
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I love how this picture though portrays it as a very chaste
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kiss. And and who knows, perhaps they
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had met before previously just to get this family dynamic
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right. Jacob is cousins with Leah and
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Rachel, Leah's the older sister. Rachel is the younger sister and
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back then it was relatively common to marry a cousin.
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There's clearly a connection though, a special connection
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between Jacob and Rachel. Scripture tells us Rachel had a
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lovely figure and was beautiful. Leah was tender eyed.
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Now, when I was growing up, I always imagined tender eyed is
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meaning, like her eyes were soft, warm and loving.
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But the Hebrew phrase that's translated as tender eyed
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probably means having weak eyes. And this isn't a comment on
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Leah's eyesight like she needs glasses, especially because it's
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contrasted with Rachel's beautiful appearance.
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Just like today, you might say, oh, that person has a really
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great personality. Saying Leah was tender eyed is
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probably a nice way of describing her physical
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appearance without seeming to be harsh.
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So Jacob immediately falls in love with Rachel and her father.
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Jacob's uncle Laban sees an opportunity to put Jacob to
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work. So Laban says what do you want
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for your wages? And Jacob says, well I'll work
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for you for seven years if you give me Rachel as my bride.
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Working seven years for Rachel seems like a heavy price, but we
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read seven years pass like a few days to Jacob because of his
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love for her. Now think about Jacob.
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His life has been pretty tough so far.
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His father favors Esau. Jacob's been on the run, but he
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feels like once he's married to Rachel, everything will be
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perfect. Finally, the day of the wedding
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arrives. There's the big feast, and in
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the darkness of the honeymoon night, Laban brings a veiled
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daughter to Jacob's tent. He thinks it's Rachel.
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But in the morning we see it was Leah.
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Pause for a moment and think about this verse.
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In the morning, it was Leah. There's lots of sides to this,
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and in a moment we're going to focus on Leah.
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But consider for a moment Jacob and his situation.
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He's poured all his hopes and dreams into Rachel.
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He believed if only I have her, my life will be perfect.
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But in the morning, it was Leah. Pastor Timothy Keller suggests
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that this moment is a metaphor for all of us in the human
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condition. He says when you get married, no
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matter how great you think that marriage is going to be, when
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you get a career, no matter how great you think your career is
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going to be, you think you are going to bed with Rachel.
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And in the morning it is always Leah.
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In other words, whenever we put our deepest hopes into anything
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other than God, eventually we wake up and we realize it's not
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enough. It's always Leah in the morning.
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So there's heartbreak for Jacob, but that's nothing compared to
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the heartbreak for Leah. What was she thinking on that
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night? Had her father given her strict
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instructions like don't say anything?
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Or did Laban lie to her and say, hey, good news, Jacob actually
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chose you? Was Leah secretly hoping she
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could win Jacob's heart? Did she feel excited, nervous,
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scared, disappointed, violated? How did she feel the next
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morning when Jacob protested? It's interesting how once Jacob
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had tricked his father, now Jacob is the one who is tricked,
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Laban told Jacob. It's not our custom here to give
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the younger daughter in marriage before the older one finish
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Leah's bridal week. Then we will give you Rachel
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also in return for another seven years of work.
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Now, sometimes we think that Jacob then works for another
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seven years and marries Rachel, but that's not the case.
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One week later, Jacob marries Rachel and then works for
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another seven years. So Leah only has seven days with
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a husband to herself. And there's another devastating
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verse we read. Jacob loved Rachel more than
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Leah. So what does that feel like for
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Leah? Think about her.
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She gets an idea in her head. It's almost too painful to speak
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it but it's right from the scriptures.
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She thinks to herself, if I give my husband kids then he'll love
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me. When she has her first born son
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Reuben, she says surely my husband will love me now, but he
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doesn't. She gets pregnant again and
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gives birth to Simeon. Leah says, Because the Lord
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heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.
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But Jacob still prefers Rachel. A third son, Levi is born and
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again Leah hopes now at last my husband will become attached to
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me because I have borne him three sons.
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Is your heart breaking for Leah? Child after child, Leah pleads
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for Jacob's love, but it never comes.
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Can we see the same thing in our own lives?
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We think, if only I get married, if only I have children, if only
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I get that dream job, if only I get into this graduate program,
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if only my health improves, if only my children start making
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right choices, then I'll be happy.
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Then the hole in my heart will disappear.
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But here's the thing, it doesn't.
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These are all holes in our heart that can only be filled through
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God. Imagine you had everything, all
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the money, all the fame, all the power.
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How would you feel? The pop superstar Madonna, she
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had all of those things. And she said I have a horrible
24:59
fear of being mediocre because even though I become somebody, I
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still have to prove that I'm somebody.
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My struggle has never ended and it probably never will.
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Esau wanted soup, Jacob wanted Rachel, Leah wanted love.
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Madonna wants to prove that she's somebody.
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We all keep thinking that something in this world will
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finally satisfy us, but it never does.
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The truth is, the human heart has a God shaped hole that
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nothing else can fill. The only one who can truly
25:33
satisfy our hearts is Jesus Christ.
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And it seems like Leah Tender eyed Leah starts to begin to
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realize this when she gives birth to her fourth son, Judah.
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She says, this time I will praise the Lord.
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No more worrying about Jacob's love, just praise for God.
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Think about Leah's life. It was hard.
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As far as we can tell, there's no happy ending for her
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immortality. She never becomes the favored
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wife. Are you seeing connections in
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your own life? What does this look like today
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if we tried to fill our heart with some external source of
26:19
love or hope rather than filling it with the love of God?
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When you were talking about Leah, I have this feeling when
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you were saying that maybe she wasn't wanted and she keeps
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praying and said maybe with this child he will love me.
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And maybe sometimes that happens in our lives.
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It doesn't matter what we accomplish.
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Sometimes we won't feel enough. It doesn't matter what we do.
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Then Heavenly Father comes and his Savior and his Spirit comes
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and said, I'll re, I'll meet you there.
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You are enough. Thank.
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You I think about Leah and I think that her relationship with
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Jesus Christ was not first in the beginning of her life, and
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we see that transformation as time goes on.
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She was looking for an external force, her husband, her family
27:10
dynamics to fulfill that hole, when actually it was Jesus
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Christ who needed to be first and foremost in her life.
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And the same holds true for each of us is when we put Christ 1st
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and the focus of our lives. Everything else just kind of
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falls to the side. Our disappointments will still
27:30
be there, but it won't have the impact on our happiness.
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Thank you. With Leah's story, you know it's
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a good thing you want to put your husband first, your spouse
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look to that right, Gain his love.
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But I remember a story from President Hinckley's biography
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where Sister Hinckley had said, I always knew I would come
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second in his life. And that was a good thing
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because him putting Christ first made him the best man that he
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that he could be. And so even that even no matter
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what relationship in our life, we just need to focus that
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Christ needs to go above everything.
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Thank you. I wonder if in heaven Leah
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smiled when she saw her posterity.
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Remember, her son was Judah. Judah was the ancestor of King
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David. That means Leah is also the
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ancestor of Jesus Christ. I like to think that maybe she
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was one of the angels singing at the birth of the Savior.
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Now you might be thinking to yourself, wow, this story of
28:23
Leah, it is so tender. I wish I could learn more about
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her. Wish granted.
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Actually, Timothy Keller gave a powerful talk called The Girl
28:33
Nobody Wanted. I've been drawing on his ideas
28:35
in this discussion, and I've linked to the full talk on the
28:38
course website. I hope we'll remember Leah and
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her story. Well, time passes.
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Rachel's not able to bear children, so she gives Jacob her
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servant, kind of like we saw with Sarah and Hagar, and Leah
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does the same. Finally, Rachel has a son,
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Joseph, who, not surprisingly, will become the favorite
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eventually. Jacob has twelve sons and a
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daughter named Dinah. As we'll soon see, Jacob's name
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is changed to Israel. So this is the whole story about
29:05
where the 12 tribes of Israel come from.
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These are Jacob's twelve sons. So Jacob prospers more and more.
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But as Jacob's flocks multiply, Laban's attitude towards Jacob's
29:17
shifts. So God tells Jacob to go back
29:21
home. Jacob quietly gathers his family
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and his flocks and heads back. When Laban catches up to him,
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there's a little confrontation, but they make a covenant of
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peace and go their separate ways.
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But no sooner is this problem resolved, then Jacob is
29:34
presented with a new crisis. Esau messengers come ahead to
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Jacob, telling him alarming news.
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Esau is heading towards them with 400 men.
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Fear grips Jacob's heart. Remember the last time he saw
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Esau, Esau threatened to kill him.
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So they camp at the Javik River. Jacob sends everyone across to
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the other side. Only Jacob is remaining.
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Tomorrow's going to be the day when he will face Esau, who
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might still be sharpening his sword.
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This takes us to Israel's wrestle.
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Picture the scene. Jacob's alone on the riverbank.
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He's cracking his knuckles. He's rehearsing to himself.
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What is he going to say when he sees Esau?
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Esau, wow. You are looking good, man.
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You've been hitting up the gym or he saw.
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Sorry about the whole soup thing.
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I brought you some goats. Jacob has no idea what to
30:27
expect. And then out of the shadows, a
30:30
figure lunges at him. We read Jacob was left alone and
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a man wrestled with him till Daybreak.
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Who is this man Jacob is wrestling with?
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Here's what the church's scripture study helps.
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Book says it is unclear who the man was something he was an
30:46
Angel, while others suggest he was a mortal messenger sent from
30:50
God. The Hebrew word used for man in
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these verses supports both possibilities and could even
30:56
refer to God himself. So as they continued wrestling,
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Jacob would not let go of the Angel.
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Jacob said I will not let you go unless you bless me.
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The Angel asked him what is your name?
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Jacob told him and then the Angel gave him a new name.
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The Angel said, your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,
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because you have struggled with God and with humans and have
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overcome. So Jacob called the name of the
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place, the face of God, because he said, I saw God face to face,
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and yet my life was spared. Now there's a lesson in this
31:32
story that's easy to miss. Do you remember that we read
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Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed on the night of the
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wrestle, the time before it? Jacob is freaking out.
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Over the next 24 hours, Jacob would prepare to meet Esau.
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He arranges his family into different groups.
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The ideas of Esau attacks one group, maybe the other one will
31:52
be able to escape. He creates this intricate system
31:55
of sending servants to give gifts to Esau in the hopes of
31:58
placating his brother. But Jacob actually had no need
32:02
to worry. The next day when the two
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brothers met, we read, Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him
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and fell on his neck and kissed him and they wept.
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So first, pause for a moment and celebrate Esau's forgiveness.
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Esau obviously has made some mistakes, but what a beautiful
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example of a brother who forgives.
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There's another lesson that I want to highlight.
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Absolutely nothing that Jacob had been greatly afraid and
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distressed about happened. I think this is a key lesson
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about the distortion of worry. Much of what we worry about
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never actually happens, and when it does, we're better able to
32:46
handle it than we think we are. Dozens of psychological studies
32:50
show that we generally 1 overestimate how likely it is
32:54
that the thing we are worried about will happen.
32:57
Two, we overestimate how devastated we will be by future
33:00
negative events, and three, we underestimate our ability to
33:05
bounce back should the thing we are worried about actually
33:10
occur. All of these skewed estimations
33:13
increase our worry. So, for example, imagine that
33:16
this small circle on the screen represents the actual amount of
33:20
damage something you're worried about will likely do to you.
33:23
We think that what we're worried about is more likely to happen
33:25
than it is, so it feels bigger. And then we think what we're
33:29
worried about will hurt more than it really will, so it feels
33:31
bigger, and we think we'll be less able to cope than we
33:34
actually will be. The result is that a worry that
33:37
is actually pretty small can feel really big.
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Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed, but what he was
33:46
worried about never even happened.
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So take a moment and think about your life.
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Do you see an echo of this principle?
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Is there a time when you've been greatly afraid and distressed
33:58
about something that in retrospect, you did not need to
34:02
worry about? I think as a mom, looking back
34:06
on my mothering, there are a lot of things I would do
34:08
differently. And one of the things that I
34:11
would do differently is some of the decisions I made for my
34:15
children were based out of my own fear.
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You know, it's you want to keep your children safe.
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You want them to be happy, you want them to be protected from
34:26
physical harm and emotional harm.
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And sometimes that's based on our own experiences.
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And I have, I feel in looking back, kept them from experiences
34:39
that would have been OK for them to make decisions about.
34:42
But I also look at their lives and where they've gone, and
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they've all become amazing individuals.
34:48
And when I look at that, I think of my Savior Jesus Christ and
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His Atonement, that it's there not just for my children, but it
34:56
is there for me and my imperfections as a mother, that
35:00
He makes up the difference. He can soften hearts.
35:03
He can lead His children where they need to be, and He can help
35:09
you in building relationships that are meaningful and loving
35:13
and forgiving. And you see this with these two
35:17
brothers. And it is if it's possible for
35:20
them, it's possible for each one of us.
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And I think that it's so important that we trust the Lord
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and let our own fears be pushed aside, that He can make up the
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difference not just in our lives, but in the lives of those
35:35
we love. Thank you.
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I'll just share a personal story from my life.
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Many years ago I lived in a small town, Nyssa, Oregon, had
35:44
two young kids, and I was preparing to move my family to
35:48
Boston for Graduate School. We had loved living in Nyssa and
35:52
being a part of the community there, and I felt really good
35:55
about my work over the past three years, having been a full
35:58
time seminary teacher. But a couple of months before we
36:02
moved, there was a knock at the door, and it was the father of
36:05
one of my seminary students. And he started yelling at me
36:08
about how was the worst seminary teacher ever.
36:11
I had ruined his daughter's life, and he was going to make
36:13
sure that I was fired. And then he, like, walked away
36:16
in a huge huff. And I was really stressed out.
36:19
I mean, first of all, I loved his daughter.
36:20
Felt like I'd been a good seminary teacher for her.
36:23
And I started to get worried, like, maybe I won't be able to
36:26
move to Boston. Maybe I'm going to lose my job.
36:27
What's going to happen? And I just stewed in this in
36:30
kind of internal cycle for a week.
36:33
After about a week, a member of the state presidency called me.
36:37
And he said, hey, John, I heard that this guy came and yelled at
36:39
you. And that made me feel worse.
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I'm like, oh man, now people are talking about it.
36:43
But he said, John, everyone knows that you haven't done
36:45
anything wrong, Just go to the guy's house and talk to him.
36:50
And I was like, I don't know if I can do that.
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And I worried about that for a while.
36:52
Finally I went and I knocked on the man's door and he welcomed
36:55
me in the home and we had a great conversation.
36:57
It was kind of like nothing had happened and we've all lived
37:00
happily ever after. Nothing that I was worried about
37:05
came to pass. I really believe that just like
37:08
Jacob fearing Esau, in our own lives, often the things that we
37:12
are worried about, the anxiety we have, it makes things worse
37:17
than they need to be. And I wonder if sometimes worry
37:19
is a way that we try to fill the hole in our heart.
37:23
We try to control the future, we rehearse outcomes, we predict
37:26
disasters, all because we're afraid of uncertainty.
37:30
But when we understand that the things that we're worried about
37:33
are not as likely to happen as we think they are, we're in a
37:36
much better position to confront those fears.
37:40
In the case of Jacob, he was greatly afraid and distressed,
37:43
but he could have remembered Jesus Christ.
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Aben and I called the Savior the founder of peace, and I testify
37:53
that just like with Isaac's Russell, in each of the stories
37:56
that we've talked about today, we can find peace when we fill
38:01
the hole in our heart with the love of our Heavenly Father and
38:05
Jesus Christ. Whatever our situation might be,
38:08
we find greater peace as we focus on the Savior.
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Centuries later, Jesus would be by the Brook Kidron, a little
38:17
different than the Javik River, but Jesus would also have a
38:20
wrestle. Not a wrestle for a new name,
38:24
but a wrestle for our salvation. On that night, Jesus fell to the
38:28
ground and cried out. Father, if you are willing, take
38:30
this cup from me yet not my will, but yours be done.
38:35
Jacob's wrestling opponent said to him, You have overcome.
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Jesus on the evening before his death promised his disciples and
38:45
us in this world, you will have trouble.
38:49
Some of our worries actually will happen in the world.
38:52
We will have trouble. But Jesus said, take heart, I
38:55
have overcome the world right now.
38:59
You might be in a wrestle like Jacob.
39:01
Maybe you are greatly afraid and distressed.
39:04
But remember, Jesus is not wrestling against us.
39:07
He wrestled for us and he has said it is finished in Jacob's
39:13
wrestle. No matter what, he wouldn't let
39:17
go of God. And we have the promise.
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God is not letting go of us.