Latest / Wedded Wednesday with Pastor Don & Lisa Smith / Love Finds Opportunities
Transcript
- 0:09Don Smith: What if marriage advice didn't have to feel like a lecture or a counseling session?
- 0:14Don Smith: But welcome to a weekly coffee date for your marriage that we're calling Wedded Wednesday.
- 0:20Don Smith: I'm Pastor Don Smith along with my wife Lisa, and we are right there in the trenches with you.
- 0:25Don Smith: And this podcast takes the pressure off perfect and puts the focus on purposeful.
- 0:31Don Smith: Our desire is to give you Bible-based tools to work on your marriage, not just in it.
- 0:37Don Smith: Each week we get real, we keep it lighthearted because marriage is hard enough without being stuffy.
- 0:43Don Smith: We want to leave you with one practical challenge to actually use before the next podcast.
- 0:50Don Smith: Whether you're in a great season or barely holding on, I want you to pull up a chair, get a cup of coffee, and let's be intentional together.
- 1:00Don Smith: Well, welcome back if you're joining us here for Wedded Wednesday.
- 1:05Don Smith: Um, if you've been with us before, you probably have noticed that uh we've been away for a few bit.
- 1:10Lisa Smith: Yes.
- 1:11Don Smith: A few bit?
- 1:12Don Smith: A few weeks.
- 1:13Don Smith: A few weeks.
- 1:14Lisa Smith: Yeah, you can tell we're still not going to be able to do that.
- 1:16Lisa Smith: Yeah, a few weeks.
- 1:17Don Smith: Lisa and I have been on a sabbatical after seven years of really not taking a break.
- 1:22Don Smith: Our eldership team gave us a break for about five weeks.
- 1:26Don Smith: And uh, so in that time uh we all missed out on Wedded Wednesday.
- 1:29Don Smith: Yes.
- 1:30Don Smith: Did you miss Wedded Wednesday?
- 1:32Lisa Smith: Did I miss it?
- 1:33Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 1:34Lisa Smith: I feel like I was living Wedded Wednesday every day.
- 1:38Lisa Smith: There we go.
- 1:38Lisa Smith: I like that.
- 1:39Don Smith: That's the right answer.
- 1:41Don Smith: That's the right answer.
- 1:42Don Smith: And while we were gone, if you're logging in today, you may notice everything's a little bit different.
- 1:48Don Smith: Yes.
- 1:48Don Smith: As a surprise and a gift from our leadership team, they redecorated my office, created a new studio for us.
- 1:56Don Smith: And so you are the first to see the Legacy Leadership Studio.
- 2:03Don Smith: We we love Legacy Leaders.
- 2:05Don Smith: That's what uh Lisa and I have given our life to, uh, you know, shaping and building leadership.
- 2:12Don Smith: And uh so they they designed a whole new studio for us.
- 2:15Don Smith: Um, still gonna work on a little bit of lighting and that kind of thing.
- 2:19Don Smith: But man, we could not be more blessed when we walked back in here, right?
- 2:22Don Smith: Yeah.
- 2:22Don Smith: So welcome really nice.
- 2:23Don Smith: Welcome to Legacy Leaders, where we do Wedded Wednesday, where I do the Talk About It podcast, and uh we hope to do a lot more things in this studio, right?
- 2:34Don Smith: Are you excited about it?
- 2:35Don Smith: Yes, I am.
- 2:36Don Smith: But today, uh everybody say today.
- 2:38Don Smith: Today.
- 2:39Don Smith: See?
- 2:39Don Smith: Here we go.
- 2:41Don Smith: We are gonna talk about love finding opportunities.
- 2:46Don Smith: So I've I have a scripture for us today.
- 2:48Don Smith: Are you ready?
- 2:49Don Smith: I hope that you're tuning in.
- 2:50Don Smith: And uh what we want you to do is maybe on Wednesdays you get to watch this with your spouse when we do it live.
- 2:55Don Smith: If not, it's on Facebook.
- 2:57Don Smith: Also, it's gonna be part of the podcast.
- 2:59Don Smith: So you can go to Spotify or Apple uh podcast, anywhere you find podcasts, and find Wedded Wednesday with Pastor Don and Lisa, and uh just subscribe.
- 3:08Don Smith: It'll be there in audio form.
- 3:10Don Smith: Uh, so all of that's there.
- 3:12Don Smith: But today uh I want to read this scripture from Luke chapter six.
- 3:15Don Smith: Are you ready?
- 3:16Don Smith: All right, Luke chapter six, verse 38.
- 3:19Don Smith: Given it'll be given to you, good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over.
- 3:24Don Smith: It'll be poured into your lap.
- 3:27Don Smith: For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.
- 3:32Don Smith: Okay.
- 3:33Don Smith: All right, so let's put this in the context of put it in a context for me.
- 3:37Don Smith: Of marriage.
- 3:38Don Smith: Are you ready?
- 3:38Don Smith: All right, so in the context of marriage, let me ask you this, uh, Lisa.
- 3:43Lisa Smith: How?
- 3:43Lisa Smith: Starting off with the question already.
- 3:46Don Smith: How unique do you think our marriage is?
- 3:52Lisa Smith: No, that's a silly question.
- 3:53Lisa Smith: I think ours is pretty much.
- 3:54Lisa Smith: Why?
- 3:55Don Smith: In what in what ways?
- 3:56Don Smith: Because I'm married to you.
- 3:57Don Smith: But what does that mean?
- 4:01Don Smith: You're it means you might find yourself in Athens on top of the Acropolis walking around the Parthenon, or there's just no one else like you.
- 4:12Don Smith: Oh, we're gonna need a little bit more explanation than that.
- 4:16Lisa Smith: No, that's okay.
- 4:19Lisa Smith: Question again then, since you want something a little bit deeper.
- 4:22Don Smith: Uh-huh.
- 4:22Lisa Smith: Okay, what?
- 4:23Lisa Smith: What's the question?
- 4:24Don Smith: In what ways do you see our marriage as being unique?
- 4:30Don Smith: Unique.
- 4:31Don Smith: You you said, oh, because I'm married to you.
- 4:34Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 4:35Lisa Smith: Not everyone's like you.
- 4:37Lisa Smith: You're adventurous, you're passionate about it.
- 4:39Don Smith: I don't know if I should see that as a compliment or something I should worry about.
- 4:47Don Smith: I'm a I uh I I'm a dreamer.
- 4:50Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 4:50Don Smith: Okay.
- 4:51Don Smith: That's what I said.
- 4:51Don Smith: Well, passionate about things.
- 4:53Don Smith: I am a visionary.
- 4:56Don Smith: How how how does that affect you?
- 4:59Lisa Smith: Uh sometimes it's overwhelming because you you dream very big.
- 5:05Lisa Smith: You have big dreams sometimes, and great imagination, and sometimes it's like, whoa, hold up.
- 5:12unknown: Okay.
- 5:13Don Smith: All right, so dreams, dreams and desires come in all kinds of shapes, right?
- 5:19Don Smith: They do, they come in all kinds of shapes.
- 5:21Don Smith: Um so let's put that in the aspect of marriage, because love finds opportunities.
- 5:30Lisa Smith: Okay.
- 5:31Don Smith: Right?
- 5:31Don Smith: And so uh if each marriage is unique, would you agree?
- 5:37Lisa Smith: Yes, I think every marriage is unique because you two are married to each other, not to someone else.
- 5:43Lisa Smith: If you were married to someone else, that one would be unique.
- 5:47Lisa Smith: But this is who you're with, so it's unique.
- 5:49Lisa Smith: Yes.
- 5:50Lisa Smith: It's it can't be compared to someone else's marriage.
- 5:55Lisa Smith: It just can't.
- 5:56Don Smith: And so do you think that uh marriages that are are wrestling?
- 6:02Don Smith: Do you think that they sh they struggle with comparing their current state of their marriage with marriages around them?
- 6:11Lisa Smith: I think that could be part of because they see what someone else has and they wonder why they don't have it.
- 6:18Don Smith: Okay, so that that comparison to other marriages could blind you to the opportunities in your own marriage.
- 6:23Lisa Smith: It sure can.
- 6:24Don Smith: Yeah.
- 6:25Don Smith: Uh because then all you do is sit around and begin to complain about what you don't think are opportunities.
- 6:32Lisa Smith: Which we could do that about everything in our life, not just.
- 6:35Don Smith: When you're not realizing that each marriage is unique.
- 6:39Don Smith: And so if love finds opportunities, that means that love is careful not to compare your marriage to another marriage because your marriage is unique.
- 6:48Don Smith: Right.
- 6:48Don Smith: That marriage is unique.
- 6:49Don Smith: Right.
- 6:50Don Smith: And the moment you start comparing them, you come into the You're never satisfied with what you have.
- 6:56Don Smith: Oh, that's good.
- 6:57Don Smith: Because apples and oranges, right?
- 7:00Don Smith: They're different uh in in that way.
- 7:02Don Smith: So what love does though is love takes careful notice, I believe, to discover the uniqueness of its own marriage.
- 7:17Lisa Smith: Yes.
- 7:18Don Smith: I think people forget why they got married to that particular person.
- 7:21Lisa Smith: I do.
- 7:22Lisa Smith: I think so too.
- 7:23Don Smith: I don't know how long you've been married today.
- 7:25Don Smith: If you're watching us or listening to us, think about how many we we were coming up on 35 years.
- 7:31Lisa Smith: Is it 35?
- 7:32unknown: Yeah.
- 7:32Don Smith: Yeah.
- 7:33Don Smith: Um think back to when you first got married, to why you wanted to get married.
- 7:38Don Smith: Uh, that's a unique moment, right?
- 7:41Don Smith: Yeah, there's something about that that said, man, this is unique in all of the world, and I want this.
- 7:47Lisa Smith: No, there are some marriages I think get married for the wrong reasons.
- 7:52Don Smith: That's not what we're that's a different podcast.
- 7:54Lisa Smith: I guess it is.
- 7:55Lisa Smith: But I'm just saying.
- 7:57Don Smith: We don't want to compound uh one more problem.
- 8:00Don Smith: But that's a different, that's a different podcast.
- 8:02Lisa Smith: What I don't need to evaluate that though.
- 8:05Lisa Smith: You did, you get got attracted to someone for a reasonable.
- 8:09Lisa Smith: A unique reason.
- 8:10Lisa Smith: And that's what you need to focus on.
- 8:12Don Smith: So that's what we're doing.
- 8:13Don Smith: Love finds opportunities because you've been attracted to this person, you've been called to this person, you've been joined to this person, your spouse for a unique reason.
- 8:22Don Smith: And I believe that when it you realize that it's your job to take careful notice of the unique reason that you're married, uh, you can begin to listen to what your spouse is saying and hoping for.
- 8:34Don Smith: How often do you you think spouses ask each other, uh, tell me about your dreams, tell me about your desires, tell me about your wants.
- 8:44Lisa Smith: I think after a while they get stuck in a rut and they don't.
- 8:47Lisa Smith: They just think that's how someone is.
- 8:49Lisa Smith: And they or they feel that they're not heard when they speak.
- 8:56Don Smith: Or they don't even ask anymore.
- 8:57Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 8:58Lisa Smith: So it's like, well, they don't ever answer my question, so I don't I'm just gonna move on.
- 9:03Lisa Smith: Or there's avoidance or something like that.
- 9:06Lisa Smith: So yeah, they don't you quit asking and you quit telling.
- 9:12Don Smith: But if but if we realize that the way we can overcome that, okay, is remember the things that are unique about our marriage.
- 9:21Don Smith: We can focus on those.
- 9:22Lisa Smith: Or about that person that drew you to them to begin with.
- 9:27Don Smith: I love that.
- 9:27Don Smith: I love that.
- 9:28Don Smith: The pleasures, the enjoyments.
- 9:32Don Smith: I I remember uh one uh married couple was telling us that uh, you know, when they w used to date, they used to sit on their front porch and just sit on the porch swing and talk for hours.
- 9:44Don Smith: Uh, you know, that was kind of like something they would do before they were married.
- 9:48Don Smith: And and uh I remember us asking questions like, what was it that brought you so much joy in the beginning of your relationship?
- 9:56Don Smith: And they they both said, Man, we just loved this moment.
- 9:59Don Smith: We used to always do that.
- 10:00Don Smith: And then we said, Why don't you do you do you do that anymore?
- 10:04Don Smith: And they're like, nah, we can't remember the last time we did it.
- 10:08Don Smith: And we're like, that's something that's unique to you.
- 10:11Don Smith: And so, you know, as we were sitting with them just in a mentorship, just kind of loving on them, helping them walk through, you know, just a dry season, right?
- 10:20Don Smith: We assigned for homework for them.
- 10:23Don Smith: Right?
- 10:24Don Smith: Go sit on the front porch.
- 10:25Don Smith: This was literally their homework.
- 10:27Lisa Smith: Put kids to bed.
- 10:28Don Smith: Put the kids to sit in bed early, uh, go sit on the front porch swing with a cup of coffee or some tea or whatever, and just turn the phones off.
- 10:38Don Smith: And uh, I I never will forget the next meeting, you know, uh, asking them, like, so tell us about the swing.
- 10:45Don Smith: And they were like, you know what?
- 10:47Don Smith: It was awkward to start with.
- 10:49Don Smith: And then they thought, you know, this is silly, we love this.
- 10:52Don Smith: And uh they just shared about how um they really enjoyed that moment.
- 10:57Don Smith: It was a unique thing to them.
- 10:58Lisa Smith: Yes, it was.
- 11:00Don Smith: Um, so what we want you to do is remember sitting still.
- 11:03Don Smith: The things that bring a smile to your spouse's face.
- 11:07Don Smith: Okay.
- 11:07Don Smith: Uh, just uh I'll say this, and I haven't spoken to you about this yet.
- 11:11Don Smith: Oh boy.
- 11:11Don Smith: Uh but I'll say this, it just you know brought some joy.
- 11:14Don Smith: We just got back off of a five-week uh, you know, trip.
- 11:18Don Smith: Uh, and uh there was a lot to it.
- 11:21Don Smith: Uh and uh, you know, that's a break.
- 11:24Don Smith: We we were together the whole time, like we weren't the entire time 24-7.
- 11:31Don Smith: Um and we enjoyed that, but then we've been back for like two weeks, and the other night you came and you said, Hey, I scheduled us for a night at an Airbnb on such and such date.
- 11:47Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 11:48Don Smith: And I was like, You did what?
- 11:50Lisa Smith: No, two nights.
- 11:51Lisa Smith: Two nights.
- 11:52Lisa Smith: Two nights.
- 11:53Lisa Smith: I I said, so when you get done with work that day, you're done because we got to go.
- 12:00Don Smith: I usually I plan all of our trips away.
- 12:04Lisa Smith: Usually you do.
- 12:05Don Smith: Usually, yeah, no, I do.
- 12:06Don Smith: And I was just like, whoa, I didn't argue, I didn't say what you didn't tell me you were gonna do this.
- 12:12Don Smith: I was just like, I'm in.
- 12:14Don Smith: I'm in.
- 12:15Lisa Smith: I said, don't schedule anything.
- 12:17Lisa Smith: I put it in the calendar.
- 12:18Don Smith: I am in.
- 12:20Don Smith: And didn't I don't I still don't know the details except that I need to be home and where we're going.
- 12:26Don Smith: I was like, I don't care because that's something that brought us, it brought a smile to me that my that Lisa took the time to think, oh, I'm scheduling a couple of days.
- 12:34Don Smith: And I was like, wow.
- 12:35Don Smith: Um, I think that that's something that we want married people to remember that love calls you to give when it be, when it would be a whole lot more convenient to not.
- 12:48Lisa Smith: True, but you'd be more miserable.
- 12:51Don Smith: That's what love calls you to give when it's more convenient to not give.
- 12:56Lisa Smith: And when you fight against that, you yourself are the miserable one.
- 13:02Don Smith: Well when when couples used to date, like, okay, we've got we got some older granddaughters, a cut to a couple of them are married, um, and uh one of them is she's young yet, but she has a pretty dedicated relationship.
- 13:20Don Smith: Uh, and I think uh they're they're cute and uh you know did he just say cute?
- 13:26Don Smith: They're cute and no, I I I appreciate who they are and the way they're trying to walk this out in front of their family, in front of the Lord and all the things that they're doing.
- 13:34Don Smith: Um, you know, I but see, I think married couples, 30 years, 20 years, we forget things we used to daydream about when we were dating.
- 13:46Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 13:46Don Smith: I mean, we should have big dreams.
- 13:48Don Smith: You know why?
- 13:48Don Smith: Because dreams didn't cost any money.
- 13:50Don Smith: Now that we get married, what happens is instantly is what?
- 13:54Don Smith: Can't afford to do that.
- 13:55Don Smith: Can't afford to do that.
- 13:56Don Smith: Hey, let's go, can't afford to do that, right?
- 13:58Don Smith: Or can't take time off from work, or the kids are in the way.
- 14:02Don Smith: It's it you can't even daydream anymore because of all of the things that have we call those contract things.
- 14:11Don Smith: Right.
- 14:12Don Smith: Uh, paying the bills, the kids, job, chores, all the things uh that go along with it.
- 14:19Don Smith: And so couples stop daydreaming and all of a sudden love doesn't find opportunities.
- 14:25Lisa Smith: Right.
- 14:26Lisa Smith: It doesn't have to be expensive to spend time together.
- 14:29Don Smith: I like that you say that because I that's what I want to do is I want to call people to daydream about opportunities, married people, um, so that regularly um our dreams and desires become each other's.
- 14:44Lisa Smith: Right.
- 14:45Lisa Smith: Right?
- 14:46Lisa Smith: Like, okay, you love to hunt.
- 14:48Lisa Smith: I don't love to hunt, and he knows that.
- 14:52Lisa Smith: But I don't stop him from hunting.
- 14:55Lisa Smith: You know?
- 14:57Don Smith: She's probably not going to sit in the cold with me.
- 15:00Lisa Smith: I'm not gonna go.
- 15:01Lisa Smith: But but because you enjoy it, I am perfectly happy with helping invest in it and things of that sort.
- 15:09Don Smith: Here's what here's what I want to do for married people who are watching Wedded Wednesday, listening to it on the podcast, okay?
- 15:16Don Smith: And I hope that you're listening because you want your marriage to grow and be enriched, not because you're looking for an excuse to justify your your hurt and your struggle right now.
- 15:26Don Smith: Listen, if you're a sick person, you go to the doctor to get better.
- 15:31Lisa Smith: True.
- 15:32Don Smith: Not right to stay complaining about what's wrong.
- 15:36Don Smith: Right.
- 15:36Lisa Smith: Right.
- 15:36Don Smith: You want the answers.
- 15:38Don Smith: Marriage can go through times of sickness, and these are moments our podcast is hoping to give you just a shot in an arm, a little bit of medicine that if you'll apply it, I think it'll help you.
- 15:48Don Smith: Watch this, okay?
- 15:49Don Smith: We want to dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love.
- 15:56Don Smith: Love finds an opportunity.
- 15:57Don Smith: Like I'm gonna be honest with you.
- 16:00Lisa Smith: I schedule-still surprise me.
- 16:02Don Smith: I schedule all of our vacations.
- 16:05Lisa Smith: Stuff like that is very frustrating.
- 16:08Don Smith: It stresses her out.
- 16:09Don Smith: And so I I've done all of that.
- 16:11Don Smith: I schedule our vacations, I book everything, I plan everything.
- 16:15Don Smith: And then she came and just sat down like it was nothing.
- 16:19Don Smith: And just like sat next to me.
- 16:21Lisa Smith: I didn't even ask him if he was available.
- 16:23Don Smith: I was, but at the same time, I was just like, whoa, wait a minute.
- 16:27Don Smith: Now he has to make it.
- 16:28Don Smith: If I start, if I start asking too many questions, I won't do it.
- 16:33Don Smith: I'll sound like I'm complaining that she took the initiative to do something.
- 16:39Don Smith: Instead, you know what I said?
- 16:40Don Smith: I'm in.
- 16:41Don Smith: Yep.
- 16:42Don Smith: I don't know.
- 16:42Don Smith: I don't need to know the details.
- 16:44Lisa Smith: Yep.
- 16:44Don Smith: I'm I'm in.
- 16:46Don Smith: Because like love finds an opportunity to be a blessing when the other one's trying to be a blessing.
- 16:51Don Smith: Right.
- 16:51Don Smith: Right.
- 16:52Don Smith: And I I was just like, man, that surprise to me exceeded an expectation, okay, of my wife's kindness.
- 17:00Don Smith: I'm not, I'm not trying to be negative here.
- 17:02Don Smith: I'm trying to express this moment, uh, even though we had just gotten back from a trip.
- 17:08Don Smith: I could say, we just got back from a trip.
- 17:10Lisa Smith: We did, but this isn't tomorrow.
- 17:13Don Smith: So you found here's what I'm saying.
- 17:15Don Smith: Listen to me, Wedded Wednesday.
- 17:16Don Smith: Here's what I'm saying.
- 17:18Lisa Smith: Trying to find a way to keep us in that trying to keep us in that same feel that we had when we spent time together instead of letting the busyness of work and ministry and everything else be the prior.
- 17:37Lisa Smith: That sounds so bad.
- 17:39Lisa Smith: Being priority or going above our relationship and then, you know, trying to keep that connection together that we had.
- 17:49Lisa Smith: What I loved about this is you found an opportunity.
- 17:51Don Smith: Yeah, and that was my thoughts was let's keep it going.
- 17:54Don Smith: Yeah, you just took it and you made that.
- 17:57Lisa Smith: Instead of being very uh, yeah, I've already spent so much time with this man, get him to work, please.
- 18:02Don Smith: Yeah, try try to try to here here's the thing, right?
- 18:06Don Smith: What if we tried to surprise each other uh in that way all the time, like once a week.
- 18:12Don Smith: We just made it our goal.
- 18:14Don Smith: Like, how can I how can I find an opportunity?
- 18:18Lisa Smith: And again, it doesn't have to be expensive.
- 18:20Don Smith: It it doesn't.
- 18:20Don Smith: No, no, no.
- 18:21Lisa Smith: It doesn't even have to cost any money.
- 18:23Don Smith: It could be anything, it could be uh coming home early.
- 18:25Don Smith: It could be anything.
- 18:27Don Smith: Cooking dinner.
- 18:28Don Smith: It could be literally, it just could be anything.
- 18:31Don Smith: We want you to use your imagination.
- 18:32Don Smith: You did that when you were dating.
- 18:34Don Smith: You dreamed when you were dating.
- 18:36Lisa Smith: Little kids can pick weeds out of the yard and give them to their mom, and their moms are thrilled.
- 18:41Lisa Smith: I mean, come on.
- 18:43Don Smith: Try to imagine, I wrote this down.
- 18:44Don Smith: Try to imagine what you could do or be working toward in this coming week uh that would give undeniable evidence to your spouse just how much you treasure them.
- 19:00Don Smith: Because that was a moment for me.
- 19:02Don Smith: I was like, wow, we just spent five weeks together and she's already scheduled uh two days away.
- 19:11Don Smith: Um, like she wants to spend time with me.
- 19:14Don Smith: You're shocked?
- 19:17Don Smith: I mean, you're shocked I want to spend time with you.
- 19:20Don Smith: Like, uh, you know, again, you you opened up the podcast with saying I can be a little overwhelming with my dreams and my visions and those kind of things.
- 19:30Don Smith: Um and uh those types of things.
- 19:32Lisa Smith: Listen, it may like Lisa said, I'm glad it exceeded your expectations, man.
- 19:37Don Smith: It may or may not be a financial sacrifice.
- 19:40Don Smith: Uh many times uh we don't do anything because we think it has to be a financial sacrifice, and that's just not true.
- 19:49Lisa Smith: Right.
- 19:50Don Smith: That's just not true.
- 19:52Lisa Smith: Going on a picnic together is not.
- 19:54Don Smith: Sometimes just a walk.
- 19:55Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 19:56Don Smith: Uh down the road.
- 19:57Lisa Smith: Just going for a walk in the afternoon or something.
- 20:00Don Smith: Whatever it may be, I think that, you know, uh sitting on the porch swing.
- 20:05Don Smith: Many, many of you, uh, if you know us personally, you probably know a lot of our leadership and our friends.
- 20:10Don Smith: Uh Tim and Lynette, I think, take a daily walk together.
- 20:14Don Smith: And uh I know that a lot of times I they don't mean to say it, but they say they make a statement like, well, when Tim and I were walking today, or Tim would say, Well, well, Lynette and I were walking today, we were talking about this.
- 20:24Don Smith: We were just talking about this very thing, you know?
- 20:27Don Smith: And I I think, wow, you know, they like spending time together, they're looking for opportunities.
- 20:31Don Smith: And then you came and you said, Hey, I've got two days scheduled.
- 20:34Don Smith: And I was like, Whoa, uh, this is it's unbelievable.
- 20:38Don Smith: Like, we should, if you're gonna make anything in your marriage a competition, it should be how you can outbless each other.
- 20:47Don Smith: Okay.
- 20:48Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 20:48Don Smith: It it should never be, well, you got to spend that much money, so I should get to spend that much money.
- 20:52Lisa Smith: Right.
- 20:53Don Smith: Or you got to go on a hunting trip, so I should get to go on a girls' trip.
- 20:57Don Smith: Girls' trip.
- 20:58Don Smith: We never do that to each other.
- 20:59Don Smith: No, because it doesn't mean you don't go on girls' trips.
- 21:02Lisa Smith: You're usually the one that says, hey, are you guys doing a trip this year?
- 21:05Lisa Smith: Are you gonna do this this year?
- 21:07Don Smith: You and our oldest daughter, our our only daughter.
- 21:10Don Smith: Uh are you guys going to Mexico because they they like to go to Mexico together, that kind of thing.
- 21:14Don Smith: It's just we don't do that to each other because the only thing we want to be competition in our marriage is how much we bless each other.
- 21:22Don Smith: And it may or may not be a financial sacrifice, but it needs to reflect uh a heart that's willing to express itself, I think, with extravagance.
- 21:31Don Smith: And to be honest with you, you know, um, the place you told me we were going, I love going because again, it's uh it's kind of an outdoors thing.
- 21:39Don Smith: All right.
- 21:40Don Smith: Uh and uh in the world.
- 21:42Lisa Smith: Well, there's one thing that we've not done together before.
- 21:45Lisa Smith: So I was like, let's go do that.
- 21:47Don Smith: All right, so let's let's do this today.
- 21:49Don Smith: We're just gonna uh, you know, we're just getting back in the studio, just getting back into Wedded Wednesday.
- 21:54Don Smith: Um, what what's one thing you could do this week um to overwhelm your mate?
- 21:58Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
- 22:00Lisa Smith: I know one morning I got up and you made you made me a coffee.
- 22:03Don Smith: Yep.
- 22:04Lisa Smith: I didn't ask or anything like that.
- 22:06Lisa Smith: Well, just one thing, one thing you can do to find an opportunity.
- 22:12Don Smith: Now listen, you're like, I don't want to.
- 22:14Don Smith: That's when you really should.
- 22:16Don Smith: True.
- 22:18Don Smith: That's when you should.
- 22:19Lisa Smith: That's true.
- 22:20Don Smith: I don't want to.
- 22:20Don Smith: They don't deserve it.
- 22:21Don Smith: That's when you should.
- 22:22Don Smith: Yes.
- 22:23Don Smith: Right?
- 22:24Don Smith: Because that's how the grace of God is extended into the marriage, and that's where healing really starts.
- 22:29Don Smith: When you serve or when you do uh simply because you love, not because someone deserved it, or the opportunity was easy, or the situation was easy.
- 22:42Don Smith: But you know you love this person.
- 22:44Don Smith: Yeah.
- 22:44Don Smith: How can you be a blessing to them?
- 22:46Don Smith: That's what we're asking.
- 22:47Don Smith: How can you be a blessing this week and make them feel loved and valued with something that you did an action?
- 22:53Don Smith: And uh, you know, if you're familiar with the five love language, I don't know who isn't at this point.
- 22:57Don Smith: Right.
- 22:57Don Smith: Um, you know, one of those is acts of service.
- 23:00Don Smith: And whether it's high on your spouse's list or not, it's still on their list.
- 23:04unknown: Yeah.
- 23:04Don Smith: You know what I'm saying?
- 23:05Lisa Smith: All of those are on your list.
- 23:08Lisa Smith: One just might be higher than you're going to be.
- 23:10Lisa Smith: Yeah, but it's still on the list.
- 23:11Don Smith: But every one of them touches the just because it's not the number one thing on your spouse's list doesn't mean it's it's not there.
- 23:17Don Smith: Okay.
- 23:17Don Smith: And an act of service is something you can do.
- 23:20Don Smith: Uh, why not?
- 23:21Lisa Smith: I don't know who doesn't love an act of service.
- 23:24Don Smith: Uh in the moment, right?
- 23:26Don Smith: Like there it is.
- 23:27Don Smith: So uh that's our challenge for Wedded Wednesday this week.
- 23:30Don Smith: Love finds an opportunity.
- 23:31Don Smith: We want you to find an opportunity.
- 23:32Lisa Smith: Find an opportunity this week.
- 23:34Don Smith: Especially.
- 23:35Don Smith: Okay.
- 23:36Don Smith: If right now is a season of wrestling in your marriage.
- 23:39unknown: Yeah.
- 23:41Don Smith: Especially.
- 23:42Don Smith: Uh, you will be surprised what it does for your spouse's heart and what it does for your heart as well.
- 23:47Lisa Smith: Yes.
- 23:48Don Smith: Uh, it could create a moment where you have the ability to breathe and accept and speak uh truth and love and healing can begin to happen.
- 23:58Don Smith: I just think those are the moments that we should look for, right?
- 24:01Lisa Smith: Yes, I agree.
- 24:02Don Smith: So, do you like being back in the studio today?
- 24:04Don Smith: It's all brand new.
- 24:05Don Smith: It's all brand new.
- 24:06Don Smith: We're gonna work on some more lighting stuff.
- 24:07Don Smith: I we were so blessed, weren't we?
- 24:09Lisa Smith: Yeah.
- 24:10Don Smith: I you knew a little bit.
- 24:13Don Smith: I didn't know a little.
- 24:14Lisa Smith: I didn't know it, but but there were surprises along the way.
- 24:18Don Smith: It's so good.
- 24:19Don Smith: So we want you to.
- 24:20Don Smith: But it looks great in here.
- 24:21Don Smith: We want you to look forward to more of this for sure.
- 24:24Don Smith: Uh every Wednesday.
- 24:26Don Smith: Uh we're gonna try to be live uh if we can.
- 24:28Don Smith: But uh, if you can't watch it live or watch it on social media, we need you to go to Spotify or Apple Pod, wherever you get your podcast from.
- 24:37Don Smith: Look before Wedding Wednesday with uh Don and Lisa, and just subscribe.
- 24:41Don Smith: You'll get it right there.
- 24:41Don Smith: You can listen to it on audio.
- 24:43Don Smith: Uh also.
- 24:44Don Smith: If I say also, also we just need you to share it.
- 24:47Don Smith: Whether you listen to it uh live on Facebook and and it's there, you can share that on your social medias or you can share the link from wherever you listen to your podcast.
- 24:57Don Smith: Because I think after 30 days, the Yeah, so Facebook will take away in 30 days, so that's why we turned it into an audio podcast as well.
- 25:04Don Smith: So we love you guys.
- 25:05Don Smith: Hey, we want to pray for them.
- 25:06Don Smith: Can we pray for them?
- 25:07Don Smith: Sure.
- 25:07Don Smith: All right, Lord, thank you for this moment.
- 25:10Don Smith: We pray that you help us all find opportunities.
- 25:14Don Smith: And uh, Lord, as we do that, I pray that you let our hearts and lives be connected in fresh and new ways.
- 25:22Don Smith: God, those opportunities need to surround the uniqueness of our marriage.
- 25:26Don Smith: And as you do that, God, I pray that the healing power of the Holy Spirit will come into each and every marriage who at least takes these actions.
- 25:35Don Smith: We pray it in Jesus' name.
- 25:37Lisa Smith: Father God, I thank you for each person that listens, whether they listen with their spouse or not, Father God.
- 25:42Lisa Smith: And if they're struggling, I pray, Lord, that they come to you, Lord, and ask for your wisdom on how to encourage their spouse and how to be a blessing to them, Lord.
- 25:52Lisa Smith: And I pray right now, Father God, for unities in their homes.
- 25:56Lisa Smith: Yeah, in their homes, Father God, and that you will just uh reveal yourself to them as individuals, Father God, and draw them closer to each other as they draw closer to you in Jesus' name.
- 26:08Don Smith: Listen, listen, remember, given it will be given to you.
- 26:13Don Smith: Good measure, pressed down, shaken together.
- 26:16Lisa Smith: Even in your marriage.
- 26:18Lisa Smith: Even in your marriage.
- 26:18Lisa Smith: We love you guys.
- 26:19Lisa Smith: Hang on.
- 26:20Don Smith: We will see you next week.
- 26:23Don Smith: Bye.