Latest / He's Hot but Something's Off... / HHBSO 132: Throw a Party When I Die

Transcript

HHBSO 132: Throw a Party When I Die · He's Hot but Something's Off...

0:02
Hello, welcome to He's hot but some things off OK, if there
0:09
isn't a video version of this podcast this week on my YouTube
0:15
channel Just Joey T, that means the brand new SD card I got for
0:19
my camera doesn't work. I am packing.
0:23
I'm mostly packed for the Atlantis cruise I'm going on
0:28
next week. It's Wednesday as I'm recording
0:30
this, and I fly out Saturday morning.
0:35
Usually I'm not at this level of packing by this time before
0:43
trip, but maybe I've gotten better at life.
0:48
I've gotten better at adulting. I've gone better at packing.
0:54
That last one's questionable, but I'm like, I gotta knock on
0:58
some wood. Possibly I'm ahead of schedule
1:03
for getting everything done before the trip.
1:05
I have to knock on some wood. Thank God I have a real wood
1:09
table. Anyways, it's two days before
1:12
and I just have to get some chores done.
1:16
I'm like 90% packed. The only things that are not
1:19
packed are things that I'm still using, like the camera.
1:23
I'm looking into right now to record this video podcast, my
1:27
toothbrush, a few other things here and there that I'm still
1:31
actually using because I don't leave for another 2 1/2 days.
1:34
So that's pretty good. I travel real light.
1:40
OK, to go on one of these cruises, 95 to 98%, I'm willing
1:49
to say actually like 99% of people, 99 of 99% of passengers
1:54
like go on this cruise. They will have more luggage than
1:59
me. I have a standard size backpack,
2:02
not one of those gigantic, you know, backpack across Europe
2:06
type backpacks. This is just like a regular
2:08
backpack someone would wear just to go to work.
2:12
OK. And I have your standard size
2:15
carry on piece of luggage, the type that you see at any US
2:19
airport. You know that internationally,
2:22
like especially in Asia, the carry on bag sizes are smaller.
2:28
Little fun fact for you. But anyways, it's a box standard
2:32
backpack, a box standard carry on size suitcase.
2:39
And that's all I've got, not anything else.
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And I'm going on a cruise and like literally 99% of people
2:46
will have, in addition to what I have, probably one check in size
2:51
suitcase. I can see someone having like 2
2:54
smaller suitcases and then having a backpack, a carry on
2:59
type of a thing. But no one does minimalist
3:04
packing like I do. And the reason I do this, it
3:11
takes more work, but it takes way more work to try to scram
3:14
everything into a tiny little space.
3:16
The main reason I do this is I don't like checking luggage with
3:21
airlines. I just like to walk on the
3:24
plane. I walk off the plane.
3:26
I've gone super, super used to it.
3:28
And I'm very much for if. If you hurt my rant from Uncut
3:35
for my Patreon subscribers exclusively my uncut I remember
3:38
talking about. I love any appliance that cleans
3:43
things for me, just chores for me.
3:45
So I I would marry my dishwasher if I had a if I had a washer
3:51
dryer in my house, my my laundry appliances and my dishwasher and
3:57
me would be in a like a trouble. OK, I I love, I love, love
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things that make my life easier and not having I grew up in a
4:07
household where sorry to talk about washing dishes again, I
4:11
grew up in a household where we did not use the dishwasher.
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Mom used the dishwasher with in We grew up in Hong Kong.
4:19
Like no one has a dishwasher in Hong Kong.
4:22
It's not like in the US where everyone has a dishwasher.
4:27
You could be in the smallest, tiniest little apartment and
4:32
there's a decent chance has like a dishwasher in it.
4:35
You know, it could be like a crappy rental unit in a studio
4:39
apartment. There's a decent chance you're
4:41
going to have a dishwasher in Hong Kong.
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It's not like that. Obviously like really it just
4:46
like culturally not like a thing to have like this giant
4:50
appliance giant by Hong Kong. And so obviously to have, you
4:53
know, a whole thing that just does dishes.
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It's not a thing. So I grew up where all the
4:59
dishes were hand washed. Mom doesn't like the dishwasher,
5:03
but she didn't grew up with that, so she used when we moved
5:08
to Canada, she used it literally as storage.
5:11
In her current place, she uses it as storage.
5:13
I've never touched it, but I'm sure she uses storage.
5:15
But yeah, I love my dishwasher. Anyways, if you want to hear
5:18
more about my love affair with dishwashers, you can listen to
5:21
the uncut episode I just posted up for my Patreon subscribers
5:24
this past weekend. And there's an episode every
5:27
weekend of Uncut from a Patreon subscribers.
5:29
Oh, actually that reminds me, I've always forget to like put
5:33
the stuff up top at the top. There will not be any podcast
5:37
episodes next week. I posted this news flash on my
5:42
Patreon a couple days ago. But while I'm on the cruise, I'm
5:46
not going to be recording a podcast.
5:47
I'll be doing other things that's not recording a podcast.
5:50
So next week there are no podcasts.
5:53
However, on my Patreon I will be posting for all of my Patreon
6:00
subscribers. The paid ones, not the free
6:02
followers, all my paid Patreon subscribers.
6:04
They are going to get updates from me live as I go to Miami
6:09
and then I take this cruise next week.
6:12
Usually stuff like that, just random posts and photos and
6:16
things like that. They're just for my mid and
6:19
upper tier Magnet and OPA subscribers and usually my lower
6:24
tier Achy subscribers. Usually they just get the
6:28
podcast. They don't get the travel vlogs,
6:30
they don't get the random things I post onto my Patreon.
6:34
But next week I'm going to kind of do posts for everyone in lieu
6:37
of not having the podcast episodes.
6:40
And it's like the only thing I can really feasible do where I'm
6:42
on the cruise. Anyways.
6:45
I think we've touched like 3 topics.
6:48
How many minutes are we in 6 minutes?
6:49
Anyways, yeah, I'm excited for the cruise.
6:52
I'm, I'm mostly packed. The thing is I did have to pack
6:56
like one or two more pieces of clothing that I wouldn't usually
7:00
pack because this coming weekend it's going to be extremely cold
7:05
in Miami for Miami standards. Apparently it's not.
7:08
It hasn't been as cold there since 2010.
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Was the last time they had really frigid weather in like
7:16
January or in the winter or whatever is going to dip down.
7:20
It might touch freezing. It might touch 32°F overnight on
7:25
the weekend, like Sunday morning which and Sunday is the day that
7:29
the crew says so I'm going to fly in there on Saturday.
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So Sunday is when it's supposed to get like super cold.
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So packing just a piece or extra piece of two of some slightly
7:41
warmer clothing. If this was a normal year and
7:44
the weather was just like average seasonal weather, I
7:48
probably wouldn't have packed any actual pants.
7:52
But I always pack the jacket anyways.
7:54
It doesn't matter if I'm going to like the tropics.
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I always pack. I always pack, like the same
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jacket, like this one jacket that I always wear.
8:01
I always pack this like this one jacket.
8:03
Yeah, but it's going to be super, super cold.
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Luckily for me and my roommates, we don't have to line up to get
8:12
onto the cruise because we have priority access this year, which
8:17
I think I explained on my Patreon.
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But yeah, not, not to like brag or anything.
8:20
There's only 5 of you that listen to this.
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So it's not like a big secret or anything.
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Yeah. But luckily we're able to just
8:25
like have access to a party line.
8:27
We don't need to light line up because usually how it works for
8:30
this cruise or or any cruise ship that's like that big,
8:33
there's going to be 5000 passengers on this cruise ship.
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For most of them, they're going to need to stand outside for
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like a little bit. I'm hoping they just let more
8:43
people in to like the inside because it's going to be so
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effing cold. It's going to be like 40
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something degrees, maybe hitting like the, like the low 50s.
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But so it's not like absolutely frigid, but like, you know,
9:00
you're packing for a cruise that's going to go to the
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Caribbean. It's going to warm up in like a
9:03
couple of days. You don't really want to bring
9:05
actual winter clothing and have that take of space in your
9:08
luggage. Yeah.
9:10
But luckily, my roommates and I, we have priority access this
9:14
year with the room that we booked.
9:15
So we don't need to stand outside anyways.
9:19
Yeah, looking forward to that. One topic I did want to touch on
9:27
Just randomly as I go through my day, I have like random thoughts
9:30
that pop into my head and I was reminded of many, many, many
9:37
years ago that I was with my mom and I was was a teenager.
9:45
This is many years ago. I was a teenager.
9:47
I was like, I don't know, 1314, something like that.
9:51
And I was with my mom and we went back to Hong Kong just to
9:55
like visit because my family and I, we moved to Canada when I was
10:01
8 and we rarely flew back to Hong Kong to visit family.
10:10
Like we were over there. We were like we would visit
10:13
family like pretty regularly. I guess I was like too young to
10:17
remember honestly. But after we moved to Canada, we
10:21
kind of just didn't because mom doesn't like flying or
10:25
travelling, you know, like we're, we're not flying and
10:28
travelling people. I mean, I am now, but like when
10:31
when I was younger, like the family as a whole wasn't like
10:34
travelling people. We just like, we just live our
10:38
normal day-to-day lives and that's it.
10:40
We weren't like hopping on planes or we weren't going to
10:42
trips. We weren't, we were not taking
10:43
vacations really. But once in a great while, mom
10:47
would go back to Hong Kong. So this one time where I went
10:50
with her, we were back Hong Kong for like it was like two or
10:54
three weeks. It was like a while, I think it
10:56
was like probably two or three weeks.
10:58
And this was before my grandma on my mom's side passed away.
11:04
And I don't know why I remember this specific situation.
11:11
So we're visiting grandma and we were at Yumta or like drink tea
11:16
or basically like Cantonese dim sum lunch.
11:20
But in, in Cantonese we call it drink tea.
11:22
It's the little translation. We call it Yumta or drink tea.
11:25
So it's just like dim sum. We're going for dim sum lunch
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and we're like at this like restaurant.
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I was too young to remember like every single thing, but there
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was one part of it where grandma kind of made a fuss at my mom
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for like how they don't like chat anymore.
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And then, you know, my mom was just like, well, what do you
11:45
want to chat about? It's very stereotypical in the
11:48
sense of like, if you can imagine like your mom and then
11:52
your grandma and like they bake her, you know, like maybe not in
11:57
your family, then it's a kind of sort of stereotype, that kind of
12:01
dynamic that is portrayed in many like TV shows and movies,
12:06
for example. It's kind of that that
12:08
generation gaps kind of sort of like, okay, you have like the
12:11
grandma that's like, you know, like in their 70s, but then you
12:15
know, like their daughter is like 40 something middle age and
12:18
something. And then, you know, like the the
12:21
grandma wants like the daughter to like interact with her, visit
12:24
her more. But like obviously like the
12:25
daughter has like their own family and then like lives like
12:28
in some other country now and then has their own life, blah,
12:31
blah, blah, blah, blah. And like, I don't know why I
12:33
remember that specifically. Like it was like it was just
12:38
like my grandma just kind of made it kind of like, I don't
12:42
know where she got upset from. It seemed a little like out of
12:45
the blue, but maybe it was something that was kind of like
12:50
bubbling up and she kind of kept in the wraps, you know, like
12:53
traditional Chinese families. I wouldn't talk about anything.
12:55
It's like very like, don't talk about anything.
12:57
Don't talk about the feelings, all that kind of stuff.
13:00
It's kind of disgusting, honestly.
13:02
But yeah, I just, like the other day, I've just thought of it.
13:06
And my mom was also very much like that.
13:09
And I think I was thinking about it because my dad was just in
13:14
the hospital. You don't have, you don't have
13:17
to gas or be shocked or anything.
13:19
It's fine. I wasn't gas or shocked or
13:21
anything. But my dad was just in hospital.
13:22
Apparently he had a hole in his stomach as described by my
13:29
sister, who is very much not a medical professional.
13:34
So I don't know if the description is could have been
13:36
lost in translation. Yeah, but Dad had to go to the
13:40
emergency room or go to go to, Yeah, go to go to the ER.
13:45
That's like a that's like an urgent thing.
13:48
That's that's an emergency if you have like a rupture in your
13:51
GI tract. So had to have had to have
13:54
emergency surgery. And then mom just by the way,
13:58
dad lives in Hong Kong. Mom lives in like in Canada, in
14:01
Vancouver still, and I'm down in Los Angeles.
14:04
So it was like the bit of the day or like the morning, some,
14:08
some. It was like in the morning that
14:09
I got this and then like, they got that into surgery.
14:15
But like, it seems to be OK. The surgery was done and like
14:18
he's recovering. Obviously after like emergency
14:20
surgery for something like that, you have to be like kept, you
14:24
know, on observation to like, make sure it's OK, No
14:27
complication, that stuff. That's pretty standard.
14:29
And then obviously mom was going to fly.
14:32
Well, not so obviously mom was going to fly to Hong Kong to
14:36
like visit dad and he had they have booked her a flight to
14:42
leave like later that night. So by the time this was all
14:45
happening, keeping track of it, and it was like 6:00 PM when I
14:52
found out, oh, mom's going to fly back to visit dad and the
14:56
flight leaves like just after midnight.
14:58
So this was like, OK, this is like dinner time and blah blah
15:01
blah. So I gave mom a call.
15:03
Usually how my how I communicate with my family, like my brother
15:06
and sister, it's just via WhatsApp.
15:07
We have this like group chat and basically I get everything
15:10
there. No one calls me.
15:12
No one calls me if someone calls me.
15:16
You know what? No one has ever called me.
15:18
No one in my family has ever. OK, well, no, but like, my
15:21
sisters never had to call me. My brothers never had to call
15:23
me. My mom has.
15:24
I don't think my mom's ever called me.
15:26
Like if any one of them call, if my brother called, my sisters
15:29
call. My mom calls.
15:31
This is an emergency. This is like emergency.
15:33
But I think these days my sister would just reach out via
15:37
WhatsApp. That's probably like the
15:39
quickest way to do something anyways, instead of like a phone
15:43
call. My dad sometimes calls, but
15:45
that's because he's bored. That, that that's a whole other
15:49
kind of that's a whole other topic.
15:51
So anyways, I gave mom a call because I knew, OK, she was
15:54
about to like, you know, drop everything, have to pack.
15:58
You know, it was just decided within a span of like 12 hours
16:02
that she was going to go fly to Hong Kong to visit dad in the
16:06
hospital. So it was like 6:00 PM gave him
16:08
a call and they're just like, hey, how's it going?
16:12
Heard about dad like, and you're going to like fly.
16:16
And then she sounds like completely.
16:18
She sounded completely fine. She's not completely fine, you
16:21
know, OK. I know the the typical response
16:25
would be like, Oh my God, how's your dad?
16:28
How's your mom doing? Like, you know, like it must
16:30
have been very difficult. She must have been devastated.
16:33
We don't we don't have that. It's not so not to like, not to
16:40
underplay or trivialize the situation that my dad went
16:44
through, but we're just not the type of family to you can pick
16:51
your two options. We're not the type of family to
16:55
feel super emotional about that type of a situation.
16:59
Not that we're like heartless people, but but with our
17:02
particular family, the way that dynamic is either we just don't
17:08
get super duper emotional about that stuff and I think that's
17:11
true, or we don't talk about our emotions, which I think those
17:14
are not mutually exclusive things.
17:15
We don't have super great emotions about that kind of
17:18
stuff. And we also don't really talk
17:20
about it. OK, so we have maybe I have so
17:22
many emotions about it, but we don't really talk about it.
17:25
So I call mom and it just sounds like a normal, she sound normal
17:30
on the phone. And she's like, yeah, I'm, I'm
17:33
unpacked. I'm ready to go.
17:35
Your brother-in-law is going to drive me to the airport later.
17:38
And I just asked her, but I tried to take care of all her
17:40
tech stuff. So I said like, OK, are you
17:42
going to have like a phone to use when you're in Hong Kong?
17:45
Like are you going to bring your iPhone with you, blah, blah,
17:47
blah, blah, blah. And she sounds completely
17:49
normal, but she's still in Hong Kong right now.
17:53
Because I don't, I don't understand when my
17:56
brother-in-law booked my mom, the plane ticket, she he booked
18:03
a round trip, which I can like kind of understand if you, but
18:07
like I, I think in this case I would have just booked her a one
18:09
way ticket. But they booked her a round trip
18:12
and they just picked like some random return date and they
18:16
picked it for like the end of February.
18:18
So all this all had all this had happened like a week and 1/2 or
18:22
like almost two weeks ago. All this, so like he picked, he
18:26
picked a random date for like February 20 something for like,
18:31
I don't know, for like 6 weeks away or something like that.
18:33
And I was like, OK. And then he sent me the
18:37
confirmation and I just checked it and I was like, this is a
18:41
this is like this is like a basic economy ticket.
18:43
Like I don't know if we can make changes to the date without like
18:48
a fee. And I checked also, OK, they pay
18:51
like something like $1500 for this ticket.
18:53
A one way ticket was just half the price.
18:55
You know, sometimes you book a ticket if you get the one way is
18:57
more expensive. I think these days that's less
19:00
and less true. But like it used to be that
19:02
booking a one way ticket is usually more expensive than
19:04
you've just booked a round trip. So I'm like looking this up and
19:09
like with my with my just Joey T just Joey Travis hat on.
19:13
I'm like, OK, it doesn't make sense that you're doing this.
19:17
And like mom still doesn't have a seat assignment.
19:19
You could've just gone her like an extra legacy for like 100
19:22
bucks. Are we not willing to spend like
19:23
100 bucks for mom to like emergency fly on like a 14 hour
19:28
flight across the Pacific? We can't even just spend like an
19:32
extra 80 or 100 bucks just to like get her an assigned seat.
19:34
She has to get a assigned a seat at the gate on a flight that
19:36
leaves tonight. That means she's just going to
19:38
be cramming like a middle seat economy somewhere.
19:41
This I wasn't saying this all loud.
19:42
This is just like my thought process in my head and like, why
19:46
can't we pulling up for a premium economy while we're at
19:48
it? But I, I looked and it's like,
19:50
oh, I can just pay 100 bucks and like do the thing.
19:53
And but I'm thinking like, OK, I don't want to this.
19:58
This also other part of the family that was like, OK, I
20:01
don't want to like maybe accidentally like mess up
20:05
something. And I also don't want to like
20:06
question. What the other family members
20:10
are doing OK, because we're on this group chat and like my
20:16
brother's talking, my sister's talking and I'm talking my
20:18
brother's a lot in there too. But like, this is mainly just
20:21
between like me and my brother, my sister.
20:23
So actually like a few questions and then very quickly I reminded
20:26
my I reminded myself, like, you know what, just let them handle
20:31
it the way they want to handle it, even if I think I know
20:36
better, just let them do it. So I just asked a couple things
20:41
like, Oh, I just called mom and she said she's not going to come
20:46
back until February and like she's not going to bring her
20:49
phone or, but like she said that she knows where the phone is
20:53
that that has for her in the house in Hong Kong, just like
20:58
little things like that. But even then, like my brother
21:00
and sister, they find a way to like not fight, but like Baker
21:05
and have like little snide comments in the chat.
21:07
Now I'm thinking like, OK, I'm out.
21:11
It's honestly even like it's not even about you.
21:14
It's about like dad and like mom and like, even then you guys
21:17
make it a way to like, find you guys just find ways to like,
21:22
take little digs. It's like it, it, it's
21:26
exhausting. You're like, this is, this is
21:27
barely a thing, OK. It's not that dad is in the
21:30
hospital. That's the concern.
21:31
It's like all this bickering. It's like the the exhausting
21:34
part, which is like, if you think about it, it's it's crazy.
21:41
Anyways, mom flies off. The flight was fine.
21:46
Surgery went well. Dad stayed a few days in the
21:49
hospital, but he just got discharged.
21:54
And I'm going to let you guys in on the secret.
21:57
My relationship with my dad. I'm not close to my dad, but you
22:01
know, in in that typical like traditional Asian household type
22:04
of a thing. Like we don't really talk about
22:05
feelings. We don't talk about stuff
22:06
generally. He doesn't really know that I'm
22:10
like not his biggest fan, but it's from my point of view.
22:13
We're not going to pack this whole thing.
22:14
By the way, you guys are not my therapist and not, you know,
22:17
guys aren't paying, getting paid 300 bucks an hour for this.
22:20
But I just didn't feel like my dad was like the best dad in
22:24
some ways. And it's fine.
22:26
It's like everyone has certain feelings.
22:30
The the parent child relationship.
22:34
It it it's very it's sometimes it's very complicated.
22:39
I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't say mine's
22:40
complicated, but I will say he did provide for the family like
22:46
financially, roof, overhead, food.
22:49
And you know, sometimes it's easier to take out for granted.
22:52
But like, hey, I do appreciate it's not the easiest thing to
22:57
necessarily and you can't take for granted like when you are
23:00
like the breadwinner for your family, like your partner and
23:03
your three kids. And I get it.
23:06
And we live like a a decently comfortable life.
23:09
We were like, I don't know, like they cut middle class or
23:12
something, just like we were fine, you know, we always had
23:15
food. You know, we, we, we weren't the
23:18
type of family to like go on vacation or buy tons of toys or,
23:24
you know, do that type of stuff. But that wasn't because like we
23:27
didn't have the money. I don't know if we had money,
23:29
but that wasn't primarily because of financial reason.
23:33
It was just because like culturally like Chinese
23:35
families, like immigrants, like we just didn't really do that
23:38
type of thing. What that pie was that.
23:40
But like in terms of like the other parts of like being like a
23:45
good father, I don't feel like he did very well even by like my
23:52
knowledge of like Chinese parents standards.
23:54
But anyways, that, that that's a whole other topic we're not
23:56
going to go into. So I've never been like close to
23:59
my dad and like, I don't really have any reason to like talk to
24:04
him. I'm not trying to like, well, I
24:06
was saying I wasn't trying to like not talk to him, but I
24:08
don't like answering someone calls.
24:10
But here's the thing. So like he he was always in Hong
24:14
Kong working and then we were just in Vancouver for like the
24:18
longest time, like 27 years. And you know, like once in a
24:23
great while mom would fly over to like visit was in a great
24:26
while. Not even not every year and but
24:29
like dad would rarely, I think dad would visit like not every
24:33
year, like to, to like us in US in Canada, maybe like every
24:38
other year or something like that.
24:40
And then as like I got older, he visited like less and less.
24:45
So even when he did visit, it's like I don't have really any
24:48
good memories of him. It was always like him yelling
24:50
at me for something something stupid.
24:53
So he did provide for the family, but in other respects, I
24:56
don't feel like he was a very good father to me.
25:00
My sister has like the best relationship out of us three
25:04
kids with my dad I think. I don't know about my brother,
25:07
but I think my brother is probably somewhere in between.
25:11
He's probably closer to my sister in terms of relationship
25:13
he has with dad. But they're also very my brother
25:16
and sister. They're only a couple years
25:18
apart, but I'm seven and nine years apart from them, so I'm a
25:21
lot younger than them. So my perspective I think is
25:25
very different partially because of the age gap as well.
25:28
Yeah. But he like, he doesn't call me
25:32
like I moved out like to like, you know, to like California,
25:35
blah, blah. He doesn't really call, but a
25:38
few years ago he would start to call me once in a while and then
25:43
I found out for my sister. Oh, he just retired, but I
25:46
didn't know. So he calls, but we have nothing
25:48
to say. We literally have like nothing
25:51
to say. I did call him when he was like
25:55
in the Hospice. My, my sister would be like
25:58
figuring out what everyone's schedule and kind of playing
26:01
like, I don't know, kind of like what, what's the word?
26:07
My, my sister was kind of organizing the response, the
26:09
family response to it because obviously my sister's, my dad's
26:13
favorite. So it would be obvious that my
26:14
sister would be doing this. So a lot of this old whole like
26:18
hospital drama was going on. Mom flew back and then dad had
26:23
his cell phone. Apparently mom didn't have a
26:25
phone when he, when she was when she got back to Hong Kong.
26:29
So, but like dad's cell phone still worked.
26:32
And there were a few times where my, my sister would say, oh,
26:36
Joey, you should go call dad. Mom and dad right now.
26:38
Just call mom's just call dad's cell phone.
26:40
They're in the hospital. They should be awake right now.
26:42
So there were a couple times where I called even then, even
26:45
when he's like on the hospital bed after like major surgery and
26:50
I call and that, that phone call, I looked on my phone.
26:53
It was barely 2 minutes. And I think that's like the
26:57
longest call I've had with him. It's usually when I talk to him,
27:00
it's like I'm with like mom, my brother and sister, like either
27:06
when I was living at home or when I fly up to Vancouver the
27:12
few times a year. And then we're all all to family
27:14
dinner. And then my sister would make
27:15
that thing to like, OK, let's call dad and like everyone can
27:18
say hi. When it's like that, literally
27:21
it's like a 30 to 42nd call with my dad.
27:24
Like that's the amount of air time that I have.
27:26
But even then, after 30 seconds, I'm thinking, OK, we're not
27:28
really talking about anything. We're saying like, hi, how are
27:31
you? What's over there?
27:32
And then dad always has like a thing that he tries to warn me
27:36
about from him hearing whatever the US news is.
27:40
So he's always hearing something about like whatever's going on
27:44
in the US And he's like, oh, how's it affecting your
27:46
neighborhood? Like, do you need to be careful?
27:48
Stuff like that. I I don't think they appreciate
27:50
how big the US is anyways. Yeah, but that's out of the
27:53
hospital now. I guess I've thought of that
27:55
story with grandma and how it relates to this just because
27:59
it's like, it's like a family. Well, the other thing with my
28:02
grandma about that story is shortly after that was that on
28:07
that same visit, I think when I was like 12 or 14 or whatever,
28:11
that same trip where we had that dim sum lunch with Grandma and
28:16
grandma made a thing about like, you know, Mom not talking, not
28:18
not like chatting with her and talking to her more, that kind
28:21
of stuff. I think that was the same trip
28:22
where my grandpa passed away. This became a really sad
28:28
podcast, isn't it? I don't know, I don't have, I
28:31
don't, I don't know, like stuff like this doesn't make me, This
28:35
is why I'm dead inside. 100%. Like dad going to hospital is a
28:42
big deal for like most people and most families.
28:45
For me, it's not that it wasn't a big deal.
28:48
This sounds like I'm a complete brat, doesn't it?
28:51
I don't know. Just like, I don't think anyone
28:53
in the family felt super like, like super emotional about it.
29:00
I don't know, I think I'm just not super emotional because I'm
29:04
not super close to my dad. I mean, I, I, I don't, I don't
29:07
want him to die, but I'm also just my personal views on death.
29:15
I don't know, it's hard to be super sad about someone getting
29:23
into like, you know, having like some sort of major measure
29:26
condition or like dying or something like that when you're
29:30
not super close with them, even if they might be like your mom
29:33
or dad or whoever. You know, if mom, if that
29:37
happened to, if that situation happened with mom and mom
29:40
suddenly had to have emergency surgery, I'd be on the plane
29:42
that night because I'm a lot closer with my mom, way closer
29:45
with my mom than to my dad. I heard this thing about my dad.
29:49
I mean, honestly, never once did it cross my mind that I might
29:53
have to hop on a plane. The only reason I will need to
29:57
have hopped on a plane for that with that is if things are
30:01
looking South and we're looking at like a a possible death,
30:06
that's when OK, I might need to actually hop on the plane.
30:10
But if it was mom though, like I would, I would have probably
30:14
caught a fight to Vancouver that night.
30:17
So it just shows that, you know, like the just the, that kind of
30:20
maybe illustrates the relationship with my dad and how
30:23
it's like so wildly different than the one I have for my mom.
30:26
But the mom was always around when I was growing up, like, you
30:29
know, but like dad was like, he was just overseas.
30:32
Like we saw him once a year, every other year.
30:36
And eventually it got like less and less frequent.
30:38
Like we don't get a lot of phone calls.
30:40
It was just like, I don't know, that's kind of why my
30:43
relationship with my dad is like the way it is.
30:46
Yeah. But like every once in a while
30:47
before this hospital, every once in a while, he would call and be
30:49
like, I don't know, Are you just, I don't know.
30:53
It was just like, I mean, we don't, we don't have anything of
30:56
substance to talk about. So even even the one when he's
31:00
on the hospital bed, that phone call lasted 2 minutes.
31:03
And then I went back into WhatsApp and to the family chat
31:06
and I told my sister, OK, I gave him a call and the message was
31:08
like, wow, that was correct. And it's like, well, anyways, my
31:12
sister's also that type of person to like poke jabs and
31:15
stuff. I don't know if she knows that
31:16
she's doing that. It's very Waspy in that way.
31:20
I think, Well, I wasn't planning to have a sad podcast.
31:24
I mean, well, I know I don't think death is like, no one
31:28
wants to die. We all have the built in
31:33
instinct to avoid danger. Maybe see someone throwing a
31:37
punch at you, you'll probably flinch.
31:39
That's our inbuilt instinct to avoid danger and avoid death.
31:44
No one wants to experience pain, no one wants to go to the
31:47
hospital. No one wants to have some sort
31:49
of like disease or illness, you know, But I feel like death is,
31:58
I look at it as it's part of life.
31:59
It's like, you know, people are born and then people die like
32:03
we're, we're on this earth or like, who knows?
32:05
I can get hit by a bus tomorrow. I can live until I'm 100.
32:08
Like who can say like, you know, like that's just life.
32:12
Life is not infinite. You know, it's fine.
32:15
I was like, well, we're going to die eventually.
32:18
I just heard of a friend, not like a super close friend, like
32:21
not like we talked on the phone or chat all the time, but he was
32:24
like a good like party friend, you know, like sometimes at
32:27
parties we just run into him. He's like great to party with.
32:30
And he just passed away. Yes, there's some sadness,
32:33
sadness associated with death. But I also think like, let me
32:39
put it this way, when I die, I'm going to leave a before I die,
32:43
I'm going to leave a note to my friends.
32:44
Like don't be sad that I died. Like, this is the cycle of life.
32:50
This is a message from beyond the grave.
32:51
I guess it's just like, you know, like, just just just just
32:55
cremate me and like, you know, throw the ashes wherever under
32:58
the sea and just be done. Like, have have fun, you know,
33:02
go have fun. Don't, like, spend your time
33:04
mourning over me. Not because I think I'm not
33:07
worthy. I just don't think death has to
33:09
be like this super sad thing that gets everybody worked up
33:13
after I die. Yeah, Just go.
33:15
You can just live your normal life with my close friends.
33:19
I know that you you'll still Remember Me.
33:22
You know, every once in a while you might have a memory of me,
33:24
like doing something, one of my Joey Isms or whatever.
33:29
And that's fine. Like I don't, I don't need, I
33:33
don't need like a funeral service for my friends, My, my,
33:38
my, my family would handle it for like the family or whatever.
33:41
But like, you know, you guys don't need to like throw a whole
33:43
thing. You guys don't need to like
33:46
dressed in black and gather all around and recite this and have
33:51
a speech for that and have a reading about whatever.
33:54
I was like, it's OK. Just go, go find a party and
33:57
dance, go find a cruise and go on vacation.
34:00
Just go have fun. You know, the, the, the people
34:03
that I was close to it. I, I know and trust that they
34:05
Remember Me and that, that that's all I need.
34:09
It's just like the memories that I mean, making that, you know,
34:12
we had we had a great time together while we were on this
34:16
earth and that's it and we're gone.
34:19
We're gone. It I feel like it's like just
34:23
easy. It's just that easy.
34:25
So yeah, maybe that's kind of why like, oh, that's in the
34:28
hospital. Not that I don't not that I want
34:31
him to be there, but it's not like death is like or having
34:35
brushed us of death. Maybe that's also thing too.
34:38
It's like people have like near, near death experiences and I
34:43
think, you know, that could affect the way you choose to
34:48
proceed with the rest of your life.
34:50
I think that's fine. But you know, we are all going
34:53
to eventually experience death in some way, shape or form.
34:56
Death of a loved one, death of someone, you know, our own
34:59
deaths. And it's like it's the cycle of
35:02
life. Don't be sad that someone died.
35:04
Just, you know, remember and cherish the memories that you
35:09
have with that person. And then when I die, I just want
35:12
my friends to like carry on. It's like the go I'm, I had a
35:15
great time when I was alive. Go have a great life.
35:18
You don't need to be sad or mourn over me.
35:21
Just go, go live your best life. Wow, this turned into a really
35:26
sad podcast. And I did not have those
35:27
intentions. But death isn't like super,
35:29
super sad for me. Death is just like part of life.
35:32
That's all. OK.
35:34
Anyways, reminder we're going to be, I'm going to be away next
35:38
week. There won't be any any more
35:41
podcast episodes just for next week, but I'll be back for two
35:44
weeks from now. Normal service will be resumed.
35:47
And if you subscribe to my Patreon as a paid subscriber,
35:51
you are going to get exclusive updates from me while I am on
35:56
the cruise with Alanis next week.
35:58
But until two weeks from now, bye y'all.