Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Jon Stewart on Elmo_s Knicks Betrayal _ Desi Lydic on Trump_s Iran Oil Heist _ The Daily Show

Transcript

Jon Stewart on Elmo_s Knicks Betrayal _ Desi Lydic on Trump_s Iran Oil Heist _ The Daily Show · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Tonight is game three, baby! New York Knicks! Go, New York, go!
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: The excitement in New York is palpable.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: The New York Knicks are now two wins away from
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: doing something they have not done since Richard Nixon was
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: in office.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Was that necessary? The Nixon reference? Oh, the last time
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: the Knicks won, the flu was treated with leeches.
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: No.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I know it's been a long time. Look at me.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: But we're all excited here. Everyone in New York is
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: rooting for the Knicks. Well, almost everyone.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Abuse that's piling up online for Elmo. After he tried
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: to be neutral about the NBA finals, a Sesame Street
• 0:55
  Speaker 4: star posted, Elmo hopes both teams have fun.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: You f * * * ing kidding me, Elmo? Today's
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Sesame Street is brought to you by the letter B
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: for you're a bitch. Surely Elmo's fellow New Yorkers responded
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: to his wavering with our trademark grace and understanding.
• 1:25
  Speaker 4: New Yorkers didn't like that.
• 1:27
  Speaker 5: They unleashed some fury on him, blasting Elmo as a traitor, telling.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: Him to pick a side.
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: The city's transportation department even threatened, don't make us take
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: this down, bro.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Happy, Elmo? You're going to make the New York Department
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: of Transportation leap into action and take that sign down
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: 10 to 12 years from now. But seriously, because Elmo's
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: not going to be the game, but it is a
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: hot ticket. So much so, even the President of the
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: United States has Nick's fever. He's dyed his face Nick's
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: orange and the back of his hands Nick's, let's say, purple.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: The president's going to be attending the game this evening,
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and New Yorkers couldn't be happier.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: You know, in New York, no matter what your race, color,
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: or creed, well, we.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: All sound just a little Italian. Still, as a New
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Yorker and a Knicks fan, like the rest of us,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: he's probably been in a great mood this weekend because
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: of the series. And he's looking forward to the game.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: At least the press is crooked.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: And so is ABC and CBS and CNN. Your one-sided
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: crooked network. Let's call it quits because I've had enough.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: Thank you, darling.
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: Have a good time. Holy shh. Storming out because he
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: didn't like the question? Now.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: You could view this as the hissy fit of an
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: incredibly fragile man baby whose paper-thin skin can't handle venturing
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: out of the sycophantic embrace of his tongue-bathing acolytes. Or actually,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know how else you could view it. It
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: really is just that.
• 3:27
  Speaker 7: It's sad.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: It's very sad. It's sad because the interview with Kristen
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Welker of Meet the Press began as more of a
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: rom-com meet-cute.
• 3:37
  Speaker 8: As we're having this conversation, we can hear a little
• 3:40
  Speaker 8: bit of rain.
• 3:40
  Speaker 9: No, a lot of rain.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: A lot of rain.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Is that wind or what?
• 3:45
  Speaker 7: Nice rain.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: If you like pina colada of getting caught The rain
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: is sweet, as long as it's not accompanied by scary
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: sky booms.
• 4:05
  Speaker 9: Hear that sound of thunder, lightning?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: People will understand.
• 4:09
  Speaker 7: We're in a farm.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Sure, you city slickers with your lack of rain and
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: trans weather, whatever you have up there. And by the way,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: when did Trump go to his stylist and go, hey,
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: give me the Hugh Grant Oompa Loompa? But Trump was
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: having a lovely time. So how did it go from,
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: look at us, having a wonderful conversation in the rain,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: to you and the network you wrote in on? Because
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: the interview began like so many other ones for Trump,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: reasonable question, ridiculous answer, okay, fine.
• 4:48
  Speaker 8: Is this a war as long as there's a naval
• 4:50
  Speaker 8: blockade in place?
• 4:51
  Speaker 9: Well, we have a blockade. It's been extremely effective. You
• 4:54
  Speaker 9: will see things like you've never seen. The oil will
• 4:57
  Speaker 9: go down. The stock market already, as you know, it's
• 5:00
  Speaker 9: at an all-time high. I don't consider that a war,
• 5:03
  Speaker 9: but if you want to define it as such, I
• 5:04
  Speaker 9: guess you can.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: Well, how do you define it?
• 5:07
  Speaker 9: I don't define it at all. I don't think about it.
• 5:09
  Speaker 9: I just do what I have to do.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: Sure, why not? I believe it was William Tecumseh Sherman
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: who said, war is hell, I guess, I don't really
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: think about it. But then we get to a moment
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: when the heartland, rain-swept rom-com becomes a man trapped in
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: a barn with his worst nightmare, a woman who won't
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: stop asking pertinent questions. Mr.
• 5:36
  Speaker 8: President, one of your consistent campaign promises was no new wars.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: What changed?
• 5:44
  Speaker 8: Because you insisted no new wars.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Look, look.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: That's why I didn't guarantee no war.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Bullshit!
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Listen.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: All of us who lived through his campaign know that
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: he made that kind of a centerpiece. He said this.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Under Trump, we will have no more wars.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: And he also said this. I'm not going to start
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: a war.
• 6:08
  Speaker 9: I'm going to stop wars.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Of course, he also said this. I'll keep you out
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: of wars. So, no wars again?
• 6:18
  Speaker 9: We won't have wars again.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: See what I mean? But this reporter on this day
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: had the temerity to mention to Donald Trump that, well, actually,
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: he did say that all the time.
• 6:33
  Speaker 8: But you said it over and over again.
• 6:37
  Speaker 9: Oh, shit.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: She just lit the fuse on the bullshit bomb.
• 6:47
  Speaker 9: In the midst of the greatest stock market in history,
• 6:52
  Speaker 9: in the midst of the most successful country.
• 6:55
  Speaker 7: Ten!
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: Nine! Ten!
• 6:58
  Speaker 9: A couple of years ago, we were a dead country.
• 7:00
  Speaker 9: Now we have the hottest country anywhere in the world.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Seven, six, five.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: You know, I gave farmers last term $ 28 billion because
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: China took advantage and other people. And you know who
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: paid for it?
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: China.
• 7:15
  Speaker 7: Four, three, two.
• 7:18
  Speaker 9: I built a thousand miles of wall on our southern border.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: The election was rigged. It was a dirty election.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: Boom!
• 7:30
  Speaker 6: It was a dirty, rigged election. He went to it, folks.
• 7:35
  Speaker 6: He went to it. The fail safe in case of
• 7:39
  Speaker 6: journalism break glass.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: The EpiPen in case you've been stung by reality. But finally,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: in this instance, when he went to the rigged election, oh,
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: sweet Jesus, finally. His universal get-out-of-interview card didn't work.
• 7:56
  Speaker 8: You've never presented evidence that the 2020 election was rigged.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: Right now, look at what's happening in California.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Where's the evidence to that?
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: Where's the evidence?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Trump's fail-safe failed to safe. And now he's left with
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: but two options. One, to reckon with the fact that
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: his claims of a 2020 stolen election have never survived
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: even the slightest of legal scrutiny. And that despite having
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: six years and his own Justice Department at his beck
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: and call, he has never presented a shred of credible
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: evidence or even a theory of a credible case as
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: to how this 2020 election was rigged. Or he could
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: do his second option. Smoke bomb!
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: Let's call it quits because I've had enough.
• 8:39
  Speaker 4: Thank you, darling.
• 8:39
  Speaker 9: Have a good time.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: Bye! Now, we all know Trump's not actually going to
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: leave the building because it's raining out. And as you know,
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: moisture is the natural enemy of... of the North American comb-over.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: But this is where Kristen Welker nearly undoes all of
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: the good work she did with one of the worst
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: pleas in the history of journalism.
• 9:17
  Speaker 10: Mr.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: President, let's please, I traveled all the way to Wisconsin.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: You can't leave, sir. I was in business class.
• 9:32
  Speaker 10: Business class.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Mr.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: President, please, Wisconsin, Wheel of Fortune is on an hour
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: earlier here. These people are savages. They're Chinese restaurants. Only
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: serve Szechuan. No Cantonese to be found. We'll all die
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: of consumption.
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: But you know what?
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe finally this moment will give journalists permission to not
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: back down, to not just leave it there and move on,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: and to finally be honest about Trump's inability to be
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: challenged in the moment.
• 10:08
  Speaker 8: I spoke with President Trump on Saturday, and we both
• 10:11
  Speaker 8: acknowledged the complications during the interview posed by the rain.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: You were inside! There was no challenge from the rain?
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: F * * * that!
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: No!
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Donald Trump was not thrown off by the ambient noise
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: during the interview. In fact, ambient farm rain is the
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: least disruptive noise environment. He conducts interviews and these are
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: real clips of his interviews that we have not edited
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: the audio on at all.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Mr.
• 10:38
  Speaker 7: President, what are you doing over there? Taking a little walk.
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: We're having a big day.
• 10:43
  Speaker 6: We'll see how it goes.
• 10:49
  Speaker 7: All right, we made up the last.
• 11:03
  Speaker 9: One.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: The other ones are real. The point is, he wasn't
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: aggravated by the rain. Donald Trump didn't storm out because
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: of the rain. He stormed out because he was challenged,
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: not because he was distracted. So maybe it's time we
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: stop making excuses for that man in order to preserve
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: access to his constant bullshit.
• 11:25
  Speaker 8: He agreed to sit down with me for another Meet
• 11:27
  Speaker 8: the Press interview.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: Last night was game three of the NBA Finals, and
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: I know, I know, the Knicks' loss was hard on
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: New Yorkers, but let's take the high road, okay? And
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: acknowledge the MVP who won it for the Spurs, game
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: three referee Mark Davis. Dude, what the hell was that?
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's great
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: that the NBA let someone watch their first game ever
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: right from the court, but you do realize the B
• 12:02
  Speaker 5: in B-ball doesn't stand for blind ball bitch, right? No, no, no, no, no, no,
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: we're gonna be nice, okay? In fact, we all chipped
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: in together to get you a gift card to LensCrafters,
• 12:18
  Speaker 5: you blind ball bitch. Still, this was the first finals
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: game in New York in 27 years.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: So all the celebrities came out.
• 12:33
  Speaker 5: You had Timothee Chalamet, Derek Jeter, DJ Khaled looking at
• 12:38
  Speaker 5: his phone, Ben Stiller, Spike Lee, DJ Khaled still looking
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: at his phone, Jay-Z, Larry David, and DJ Khaled.
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: Showing Fat Joe something on his phone. What are you doing, man?
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: You're courtside at the finals. Unless you were Googling how
• 12:55
  Speaker 5: to go down on your wife, pay attention. Also in
• 13:05
  Speaker 5: attendance last night was the only New Yorker who spends
• 13:08
  Speaker 5: more time in court than the Knicks, President Donald Jumpshot.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: Oh, you were there too.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: The city gave him a very New York welcome.
• 13:22
  Speaker 7: Rise and rise.
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Have some respect for the commander-in-chief.
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: That's president pussy to you.
• 13:48
  Speaker 5: Do you know what it means to have every single
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: person in New York booing you? Even a guy taking
• 13:54
  Speaker 5: a shit on the subway will have one New Yorker
• 13:56
  Speaker 5: cheering him on.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: What can I say?
• 14:00
  Speaker 5: I love to see a man comfortable in his own skin.
• 14:04
  Speaker 5: Ten years later, we're still married. But yeah, all that
• 14:13
  Speaker 5: incessant booing, he must have been devastated.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: It was certainly amazing. It was, I think, mostly cheers.
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: Mostly cheers?
• 14:26
  Speaker 5: I guess the DOJ redacted all the boos before they
• 14:28
  Speaker 5: hit his ears. But whether you like that Trump was
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: there or not, he is a lifelong Knicks fan, so
• 14:35
  Speaker 5: he wasn't going to let some haters stop him from
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: enjoying every second of the game.
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: During the game, President Trump appeared to fall asleep.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: Boo!
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: Boo!
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: Sir, you can't sleep through the game. You're the president,
• 14:59
  Speaker 5: not game three referee Mark Davis.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: Mark, I hate you so much. I hope every time
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: you microwave something, it's just a little bit cold in
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: the middle.
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: But let's move on from New York to the only
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: other city in the world, Los Angeles. Because Trump was
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: also having a bad night there.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: A major shakeup in the race to be mayor of
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Los Angeles.
• 15:24
  Speaker 10: Reality TV star Spencer Pratt, the Republican who was endorsed
• 15:27
  Speaker 10: by President Trump, was running second for a very long time,
• 15:31
  Speaker 10: but he fell to third place as the rest.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Of the primary votes started coming in.
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: President Trump now raising unsubstantiated claims of voter fraud, posting
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: on True Social, not possible for Spencer Pratt to have
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: lost the L.A. runoffs after the big lead he had,
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: rigged elections.
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: They're cheating on the election.
• 15:47
  Speaker 8: Do you have evidence to support that?
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: All I have to do is look.
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: All I have to do is look.
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: All you have to do is look, people. It's right
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: there in front of you.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: I know it sounds easy, but for Donald Trump, it's
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: getting harder and harder these days.
• 15:59
  Speaker 7: Keep it.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: There.
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: Now, just out of idle curiosity, do Republicans have any
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: actual evidence for this rigging?
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: What evidence is there to prove that there was this rigged?
• 16:16
  Speaker 11: Some of these efforts are so diabolical and so far
• 16:19
  Speaker 11: upstream it is impossible to prove.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: Diabolical. The fact that there is no evidence is the evidence. See?
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: See?
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: Voter fraud isn't about what you can prove up here.
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: It's about what you feel in here and what you
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: can pull out of here.
• 16:51
  Speaker 4: Look, it may.
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: Have taken some time to get where they are, but
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: that doesn't mean it's rigged. Also, I'm sure they're going
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: to finish the vote counting any minute now.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: California has a lot of rules that make this very,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: very slow.
• 17:03
  Speaker 11: They have a complicated system where if somebody does a
• 17:06
  Speaker 11: mail-in vote that is mailed before actual election day, it
• 17:11
  Speaker 11: can be counted over the next seven days. Nearly a
• 17:13
  Speaker 11: week after election day, the state's most populated county says
• 17:16
  Speaker 11: it still has about 355,000 mail-in ballots to process.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: Holy shit, you have that many ballots left to count?
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: Why is it taking so long, California?
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: Are you counting the ballots? Are you having tantric sex
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: with them?
• 17:32
  Speaker 5: Look, California, I know you want to make sure everyone
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: gets a chance to vote, but the longer you take
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: with the ballots, the more you open up the door
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: to mistrust in the process. That being said, Republicans, you
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: guys can't just go around screaming something is rigged every
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: time you lose.
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: It's embarrassing. Take the L with dignity and pride and honor, which.
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: Is something that Game 3 referee Mark David knows nothing about.
• 17:55
  Speaker 11: We know you rigged that shit!
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: Diabolical. Diabolical.
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: Let's start with Melania Trump, first lady and woman who
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: just slipped poison into James Bond's martini. Yesterday at the
• 18:11
  Speaker 5: White House, Melania hosted an AI event, continuing the long
• 18:15
  Speaker 5: tradition of first ladies in tech, from when Eleanor Roosevelt
• 18:19
  Speaker 5: set the high score at Guitar Hero 5 to when
• 18:22
  Speaker 5: Nancy Reagan debuted the first dick-sucking machine. a true pioneer,
• 18:29
  Speaker 5: and Melania was so excited about AI, she even did
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: an impression of it.
• 18:34
  Speaker 10: Today is about opening doors. When the doors open, passions flow,
• 18:41
  Speaker 10: courage blossoms, and dreams are realized. AI inspires. Use this
• 18:50
  Speaker 10: chapter of your life to sail away with your dreams.
• 18:58
  Speaker 12: Yes, sail away to the chapter of your life on
• 19:03
  Speaker 12: the rocket ship of your courage as you blossom into
• 19:07
  Speaker 12: the stars.
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: What was the prompt to write that speech? Chat GPT,
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: give me metaphor. No, give me all metaphors.
• 19:22
  Speaker 5: Although, to be fair, this isn't just some one-off thing
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: Melania is doing. She's been into dystopian technology for a
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: while now.
• 19:29
  Speaker 10: AI is extending the conceptual in ways never dreamed of before.
• 19:35
  Speaker 10: AI will serve as the underpinning of every business sector
• 19:40
  Speaker 10: in our nation. Robots hold steady hands in the operating room.
• 19:45
  Speaker 10: Movie characters, scripts, fashion, music. art, the entire ecosystem, all
• 19:54
  Speaker 10: with AI. The shift from soldiers to machines is already underway.
• 20:00
  Speaker 10: Autonomous helicopters swarming drones, fighter-less jets, and autonomous bombers are.
• 20:08
  Speaker 9: On the way.
• 20:09
  Speaker 10: The robots are here.
• 20:11
  Speaker 12: The robots are here, asking you to join us.
• 20:17
  Speaker 4: I mean them, them. Delete previous sentence.
• 20:24
  Speaker 5: Let's move on from the terrifying wars of the future
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: to the terrifying war of the present, where the ceasefire
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: in Iran is starting to get a little less cease
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: and a little more fire.
• 20:33
  Speaker 4: Tehran and the U.S.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: Trading blows now.
• 20:37
  Speaker 11: Iran's downing of an American helicopter, prompting a fiery U.S.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: Response.
• 20:42
  Speaker 4: We're trading blows again? This is not good. By the way,
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: fun fact, trading blows was a setting on Nancy Reagan's
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: d * * *- sucking mission. And it was a
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: good one. So what happened exactly?
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: Officials say an Iranian drone brought down a US Apache
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: helicopter patrolling the street.
• 21:02
  Speaker 11: The pilots rescued in a first of its kind operation
• 21:06
  Speaker 11: by an unmanned surface vessel, a drone boat.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: Sorry, wait a minute.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: The pilots were hit by a drone and then rescued
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: by another drone?
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Am I crazy or were we warned about this?
• 21:22
  Speaker 10: The robots are here.
• 21:24
  Speaker 7: Oh my God.
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: You beautiful mystery. You were right.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: I am sorry I ever doubted you. Delete previous insults.
• 21:41
  Speaker 5: It's crazy that this war is not wrapped up already.
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: What is the president doing that's more important than ending
• 21:46
  Speaker 5: this conflict?
• 21:47
  Speaker 11: The Trump family is promoting this week's UFC fight at
• 21:50
  Speaker 11: the White House by selling gold commemorative coins. The Freedom
• 21:55
  Speaker 11: 250 silver and gold medallions feature Trump's face and are
• 21:59
  Speaker 11: being marketed as a collaboration between the UFC and the
• 22:02
  Speaker 11: Trump Organization.
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: Oh, oh, okay.
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: Ending the war is important, but a collab with UFC?
• 22:08
  Speaker 4: I mean, that doesn't come along every day.
• 22:11
  Speaker 5: Although I'm not really sure that a coin is the
• 22:13
  Speaker 5: right way to commemorate a UFC fight. Seems like the
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: kind of thing you commemorate with a tramp stamp. I
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: always love when I can use a photo of myself
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: on the show. But a coin seems a little weird,
• 22:27
  Speaker 5: like a weird fit for UFC bros, doesn't it? The
• 22:30
  Speaker 5: only thing I love more than fighting is cherishing sweet
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: memories with decorative coinage. But fine, okay, if I was
• 22:37
  Speaker 5: a bloodsport-loving coin collector, I'd be willing to pay, what, $ 10,
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: maybe $ 15 for this thing?
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: Let me just take a sip of water while I
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: hear how much it costs.
• 22:47
  Speaker 11: The price for the coins ranges from $ 250 to.
• 22:51
  Speaker 4: As high as $ 12, 000. Oh, my God. Is this tap water?
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: You know I only drink Evian. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: What was the price?
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: $ 12, 000.
• 23:07
  Speaker 9: What?
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: Pfft.
• 23:07
  Speaker 11: $ 12, 000.
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: For a coin?
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: Does it come with a used Honda Civic? This is
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: classic Donald Trump. No amount of money is too small
• 23:31
  Speaker 5: for him to try to grift someone out of. The
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: guy will skim off $ 2 billion with a global crypto
• 23:36
  Speaker 5: scheme one week, and the next he'll try to steal
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: your uncle's beer money with a coin that's got his
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: face on it.
• 23:41
  Speaker 4: And by the way, why.
• 23:43
  Speaker 5: Does a coin commemorating a UFC fight have to have
• 23:46
  Speaker 5: Donald Trump's face on it?
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: Who designed this thing?
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: The site says they are all designed by President Trump himself.
• 23:54
  Speaker 4: Donald Trump? Yeah, no, that makes sense. How about those noobs?
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: Madness at the Mecca.
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: This morning, the Knicks mounting the greatest comeback in NBA
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: Finals history.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: And watch parties around New York breaking out into bedlam.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: Many fans erupting even in the skies.
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: Yeah!
• 24:25
  Speaker 9: Yeah!
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: It was amazing, although those passengers shouldn't celebrate too hard.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: Wemby could swat you out of the sky.
• 24:33
  Speaker 5: But oh my God, winning in the final moments after
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: being 29 points behind wasn't just a win for the.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: Knicks, it was a win for all of us who
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: like to put things off until the last minute.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: I know it looks like I'm not gonna do my taxes,
• 24:52
  Speaker 5: but just wait until I've got two seconds left on
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: the clock. It all just goes to show you never,
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: ever give up on your dreams. Unless your dreams are
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: to beat the Knicks in the finals.
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: Because that shit ain't happening!
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: And if the fans were that excited, the guy who
• 25:12
  Speaker 5: actually won the game must have been losing his damn mind.
• 25:16
  Speaker 11: You just hit the game-winning shot in an NBA Finals
• 25:19
  Speaker 11: game in front of your home crowd.
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: How does that feel? It feels cool. I mean.
• 25:23
  Speaker 10: Everyone's pretty excited. I'm excited too.
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: I mean, I really wanted to be a dancer, but
• 25:30
  Speaker 5: you know, basketball's cool too. But let's move on to
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: our top story because the good vibes just keep on rolling.
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: Turns out the Iran war is almost over.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: Breaking news from the White House where President Trump has
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: just called off his threat to bomb Iran tonight. He, quote,
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: understands that the Supreme Leader of Iran has approved of
• 25:54
  Speaker 5: a deal to end the war with Iran.
• 25:57
  Speaker 9: With the straight wall officially open as soon as we sign,
• 26:00
  Speaker 9: which could be soon, very soon, maybe over the weekend.
• 26:03
  Speaker 7: In Europe, I won't be able.
• 26:06
  Speaker 10: To be there.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: Why are you not going to the ceremony you just invented?
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: What could you have going on that's more important than
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: ending a war?
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: Donald Trump will ring in his 80th birthday with a
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: UFC cage match on the White House lawn. Well, yes, no, no, no, no.
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: It makes sense, okay, because peace in the Middle East
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: is one thing, but a UFC fight is obviously more important,
• 26:35
  Speaker 5: you know. It's like how Franklin Roosevelt missed the end
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: of World War II to be at WrestleMania. But regardless
• 26:47
  Speaker 5: of whether Donald Trump is there or not, the U.S.
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: And Iran have reached a deal. Iran says they have
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: not reached any sort of deal.
• 26:56
  Speaker 5: Okay, maybe the war will keep going on for a while.
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: But listen, don't worry. Trump is going to win this war.
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: It's guaranteed. He's up like 29 points.
• 27:07
  Speaker 5: And if you're worried in the meantime about gas prices, relax,
• 27:11
  Speaker 5: because Trump announced an amazing surprise.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: Under pressure from rising gas prices, the president also touted
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: what he said was a secret U.S.
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: Effort to guide oil through the Strait of Hormuz.
• 27:22
  Speaker 9: We've been taking out millions of barrels of oil. Nobody
• 27:27
  Speaker 9: knows it. You know who doesn't know about it?
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Iran, until right now.
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: Oh, damn! How do you like them apples, Iran?
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: Trump has been sneaking out millions of barrels of oil
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: from the Strait, and you never knew about it because
• 27:42
  Speaker 5: it was never reported.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: The effort has been previously reported about.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: Well, the New York Times reported it, but Iran doesn't
• 27:51
  Speaker 5: read the Times. They just subscribe to play connections.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: Maybe Iran knows, but Trump says we took out 100
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: million barrels last month.
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: That's got to be, what, like a year's worth of oil?
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: The president this week said the military has helped move
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: 100 million barrels of oil, which is about one day's
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: worth of global oil consumption.
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: One day?
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: You're bragging about taking a month to steal one day
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: of oil? This is like doing a full-body shower for
• 28:20
  Speaker 5: a date and then showing up and he's a drummer.