Latest / Authentic Living / Understanding neurodiversity in the corporate world with Kristen Light
Transcript
- 0:01Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have conscious conversations
- 0:08things that really matter in our lives.
- 0:11And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:38Everyone, it's Roxanne Derhodge.
- 0:40Thanks, for tuning in again this week.
- 0:42Today, I have a special colleague that We're newly acquainted.
- 0:46Her name is Kristen Light, and Kristen is a quite fascinating, I'm gonna say, young lady
- 0:51that recently joined the Canadian Association professional speakers.
- 0:55And she has, a background in Euro, diversity.
- 0:59So, Kristin, I'll I'll tell you a little Kristen, you're gonna love her personality.
- 1:02She goes, she's gonna let you know who she who she is and, just to her by her mere presence.
- 1:07She's a senior engagement strategist.
- 1:09Vintage dancer, which I wanna know more about, an award winning speaker.
- 1:13She's had careers that went from the boardroom to the ballroom.
- 1:17And as a Vivacious circle, you'll see what I mean with the personality having had multiple
- 1:22successful companies And she's, had a brush with some mental capacities where put her,
- 1:31unfortunately, into a psych, twice, which is where we're gonna talk a little bit more about
- 1:36today.
- 1:36Kristen, thanks so much for coming in and chatting with us today.
- 1:40What an honor.
- 1:41It's my pleasure.
- 1:41Thanks so much for the invite.
- 1:44So ballroom, so tell me enough.
- 1:46Tell me about that.
- 1:48And because I I I find that fascinating.
- 1:50This much, I did not know about Kristen.
- 1:53You either know everything about it or or nothing.
- 1:55I sort of trickle it out gradually with folks.
- 1:58Yeah.
- 1:58Dance since I was 4, I was a really uncoordinated kid I would fall downstairs on
- 2:06the regular, and my mother didn't know what to do.
- 2:08So she stuck me in ballet class.
- 2:10Fast forward through, you know, 20 years of training in that eventually migrated into
- 2:17vintage styles and ended up specializing in 19 twenties, thirties, and forties, in particular,
- 2:24and North American style.
- 2:25So we're talking Charleston, Liddy Hop, Balboa, slow blues, a little bit of rock and roll, but
- 2:32it's not my specialty.
- 2:33So mostly in the pre world war 1 or war time or world war 2 and wartime era, dance styles.
- 2:39And I did that professionally for quite a while.
- 2:42I actually co owned a dance studio, Toronto's largest student at studio for quite some time.
- 2:47So that was my before life.
- 2:49I like to call it my before life.
- 2:51Yeah.
- 2:52Let's just jump into neurodiversity.
- 2:55And I think, you know, you know, I think a lot of people throw around the term and
- 3:01neurotypical and, you know, we're talking.
- 3:04We'll hear flashes of we have to hire to create space and, you know, lots of lovely language, I
- 3:12would say.
- 3:13But I want you to explain to people just the basics about what we know as we kind of talk
- 3:18about the realities of neurodiversity in I always like to say that the will is there.
- 3:24The awareness is getting there, and folks generally want to be as inclusive as possible.
- 3:30And the term neurodiversity actually refers to the natural variations in all of our brains.
- 3:36So the
- 3:37the mix of all of us together, and whether you are more of an introvert or an extrovert or
- 3:43whether you have autistic tendencies or you voices even at any variation the way we see the
- 3:51world, experience the world that that encompasses neurodiversity as a whole.
- 3:55Now about 80% of the population are pretty similar.
- 4:00And, therefore, we tend to classify folks as neurotypical, but it's not as simple as that.
- 4:04It it's easy to think of it top is those that are typical and the 20% that are divergent, but
- 4:09it always the lines are gonna blur a lot more when we dig further into it.
- 4:13And, but, 15 to 20% of us that class 5s neurodivergence, the ones that get all the
- 4:19attention in the media right now are autism, ADHD, d, dyslexia.
- 4:24But it's really a much broader, definition than that.
- 4:29So plurality, multiple personality, since we used to call it, to rats, epilepsy, mental
- 4:34illness, even depression, anxiety, anything that would cause you to perceive the world
- 4:41differently than the majority.
- 4:44And you don't need to have a specific diagnosis to consider yourself in their own emergency.
- 4:49You generally know if you approach them real differently than than most of your colleagues.
- 4:55And getting a diagnosis is tricky.
- 4:57I'm sure we'll into that a little further.
- 4:59So sometimes all we can do is identify as neurodivergent.
- 5:03We we don't necessarily have the laundry list of all the specific of our brain for all kinds
- 5:08of barriers and reasons for stopping me, whatever you like, I can babble.
- 5:11So, really, it's, you know, there's no particular way that someone may present And
- 5:17obviously with my b macro psychologist, I've dealt with a lot of, you know, people with lots
- 5:23of different presentations.
- 5:25And I would think that you know, if you think about anxiety and depression, that's kind of,
- 5:29you know, it's almost like now we're so open about talking.
- 5:33About that.
- 5:34But inherent in that could be so many variations within that, whether based on the
- 5:38situation, whether it's biological, lots of variations, and I think in the corporate world,
- 5:44Burke, well, I should be able being able to address if someone is depressed or anxious, but
- 5:48that seems to be the one kind of conversation that's getting more open, if that makes sense,
- 5:54Kristen, compared to seeing there.
- 5:56Yeah.
- 5:57If I'm on the spectrum and I say I've got, you know, potentially some issues with autism that
- 6:02would put that would be something that most people would kind of shy away from and say, how
- 6:08is it that I deal with someone if they Yeah.
- 6:12Especially autism is a really interesting one because the it is a spec It is a one
- 6:16presentation, and it is a wide spectrum.
- 6:20And and I I like to say that it's not a linear one.
- 6:23Not you know, you may hear people saying high functioning, low functioning.
- 6:27We actually hate those terms.
- 6:28We're all functioning.
- 6:29Thank you very much.
- 6:30But it we function in different ways, and sometimes the world is not built for the ways
- 6:34that we function.
- 6:36Some autistic folks are non speaking, for example.
- 6:39It doesn't mean they're non thinking.
- 6:40It doesn't mean they're non experiencing.
- 6:42They just may not speak.
- 6:43Others may present more strongly as anxious.
- 6:47There there's a huge overlap with autism, especially 70 to 80% of autistic individuals
- 6:54across all age groups report anxiety and depression.
- 6:59That's a huge percentage.
- 7:00So the lines again start to blur.
- 7:02So I say it's not a linear spectrum.
- 7:04It's really more like a wild mix of old timing knobs.
- 7:08I'm I'm picturing one of these, almost like an airplane controller.
- 7:11You know, you've got all the different knobs in files, and they're all tuned to something
- 7:14different.
- 7:151 of them might be social skills, and one might be speaking, and one might be data processing.
- 7:20And we're all tuned a little bit different.
- 7:22Which does make it tricky for employers, especially because they I think that a human
- 7:28natural human tendency to want to categorize people to want to understand there's this type
- 7:33of person, and they need this accommodation.
- 7:35And then this type of person over here needs this accommodation, but it's not it's not as
- 7:39clean-cut as that.
- 7:41I think that's why this topic is a little scary for people.
- 7:44It is.
- 7:44It is an, a scary topic, and, a lot of people want to know more I think helped in times
- 7:50people don't know which where do they go to get more?
- 7:52So let's go back and flip back to your story.
- 7:55So when tell us a bit about your story and when you started to recognize that you had some
- 8:02divergence.
- 8:03What started to happen?
- 8:04Did it start to show up at school?
- 8:06Where you were you and start to kind of paint us the reality of your journey and kind of, you
- 8:12know, maybe potentially up to what the experience it was at work.
- 8:16Sure.
- 8:17I was born in the late seventies, so you were very kind to say young.
- 8:20Thank you.
- 8:21But we didn't have no diverse me wasn't even coined until the late nineties really, and we
- 8:27didn't have words like that.
- 8:29Oh, when I was rolling out, I was simply weird.
- 8:33And sometimes that worked.
- 8:34You know, I eventually fell into the theater kids, and then that kinda worked perfectly
- 8:38fine.
- 8:38But it was a little rocky off the bat.
- 8:41I'll be honest, I had a bit of a speech impediment for quite some time, so I had to go
- 8:46I was pulled out a class to go into 2 special classes.
- 8:49And then on the flip side, was labeled as gifted early on, which is a loaded term.
- 8:55And again, pulled out of class and put into a special program as well, which is, you know,
- 9:01murder on your social life when you're nine to be pulled out of class on the regular.
- 9:07It it others do very quickly, and with all good intentions.
- 9:11It was all good intentions in the eighties.
- 9:13It.
- 9:13It definitely others you.
- 9:15And it was I always managed to find the 1 or 2 people I could kinda glum onto that had similar
- 9:22brain function to me, but never understood by or in reverse.
- 9:27I never understood the majority, was always on the fringe.
- 9:31I found and and even dance, I'll be honest.
- 9:34I did not enjoy dance class for a very long time, which is a really weird thing to say when
- 9:39such a huge part of my life, but I was still the weird one.
- 9:43It's not like that went away when I went to dance class.
- 9:45I was the weird of the weird kid in the back.
- 9:48I I I'm kept to myself a lot because it was safer than saying something wrong that could
- 9:54get you into a lot of trouble.
- 9:56With the wrong rep.
- 9:57And it was mid teens that I found theater, and Eventually, my theater life and my dance life
- 10:05merged, but, it took masking to the max, really.
- 10:08I'm masking is the term we use in the neurodivergent community to mean perfecting a a
- 10:15public face to appear more neurotypical.
- 10:19And most of us do that by studying everyone around us and mirroring speech patterns,
- 10:25behaviors, facial expressions, even that we see neurotypical folks doing, and we just learn to
- 10:31put that on for survival.
- 10:33And theatre gave me a chance to be all types of different people in an environment that was
- 10:38encouraged.
- 10:41And that got me through the other kids, the band kids.
- 10:44That that was my survival for sure.
- 10:46But getting into the working world, Yeah.
- 10:50Man, it was Rocky.
- 10:51My my resume looks more like a menu.
- 10:54I would jump from career to career because things would eventually get weird.
- 10:58They would get awkward, they would get difficult.
- 11:01And it's not that I wasn't smart.
- 11:02It's not that I wasn't fiercely determined to succeed no matter what I did, and I would reach
- 11:08certain level of success, but it would take everything out of me to do it.
- 11:13And I brought up, I get you know, 12, 18 months into a career and just burn out and not know
- 11:20what else to do other than submit memories.
- 11:22Was there anybody along the way in in the work environment, I shouldn't say anybody.
- 11:28Were there a handful potentially that said there's a different need here?
- 11:32Because if you didn't identify with whatever the issue was.
- 11:36You'd be labeled as difficult and manageable.
- 11:39It doesn't follow guidance.
- 11:40It does not hit outcomes.
- 11:42Miss all
- 11:43of that in subordinate.
- 11:45Was one that would come up a lot.
- 11:47They would I was accused of wanting things my own way.
- 11:51And I was big time people pleaser.
- 11:53So my old way didn't even factor into it.
- 11:56I was just so desperate to find a way to succeed and to do things well that I push of
- 12:02things and proposals of things and knew I was struggling, but didn't have the vocabulary.
- 12:07I didn't have the awareness to know why.
- 12:11And that over the years, just compounded compounded.
- 12:13I mean, they just my doctors never flagged it.
- 12:18Mean, why would they receive you for 5 minutes out of the year?
- 12:22But it was just never flagged until of all places and internet forum.
- 12:27I would have been about 30, I guess, at this point, and was just drawing on about something
- 12:33in this forum.
- 12:35I don't even remember what, but I I guess I've been going back to the same topic again and
- 12:40again, week after week and was spiraling, spiraling, finally somebody wrote to me on the
- 12:45form, I developed some friends on there, and somebody wrote to me on there and said, Hey,
- 12:50I'm gonna say this with all respect to economists, but I think it's time to consider
- 12:55talking to a therapist.
- 12:56I was horribly embarrassed, of course, and logged out of the forum, but I did, and that
- 13:02started the 10 year journey of self discovery and diagnoses, full spiraling.
- 13:07And it would have happened anyway, and at least the way it happened, I was already in a system,
- 13:12so support was thankfully available.
- 13:15Because if I hadn't been, I don't think we'd be having this conversation to me.
- 13:19Yeah.
- 13:20Yeah.
- 13:21So somewhere along the line, somebody noticed something and was brave enough to say, hey,
- 13:26Kristen, to give you a tap to say, and of all the places.
- 13:29We never know when we're gonna support would be eaten.
- 13:32And on an on on a forum, and then you started on your path of recovery.
- 13:38And I I would say in my role in the past as a psychotherapist, people are afraid of people
- 13:44like me.
- 13:45And, you know, and I don't think I'm a pretty scary person Kristen, but and I would, you
- 13:49know, I would joke when in practice, that's one thing.
- 13:51Right?
- 13:51Like, people come in and they are anxious, and they're beside themselves.
- 13:54And I often say to them, that's normal.
- 13:56If you weren't anxious, I would be worried.
- 13:58And but in social settings, oftentimes people would be like claring, like, a little bit of a
- 14:03radius around once they figured out what I did.
- 14:06So I would actually say I was a therapist, and then they would say physiotherapist.
- 14:12And I would say, oh, sure.
- 14:14And then they would ask something about physiotherapy, and then I would get stuck.
- 14:17And then I'm like, geez.
- 14:18Now I gotta make something up because I don't owe anything.
- 14:21Because so there there is still even now, you'll, you know, I I think we're very in a
- 14:26good space in the world about therapy, but it's still people kind of go, oh, so, you know,
- 14:32you're reading me.
- 14:33And I'm like, no, I'm not.
- 14:35Because people think that you're on in that spectrum when you're out in the world.
- 14:40And in fact, I'm just being me.
- 14:41There is that fear that people have, but the guidance clearly that you bought has brought
- 14:46you you know, being able to speak on international stages, to share, to educate, to
- 14:53give people things, through your adversity, which I'm sure at at times when you're going
- 14:58through it, when you fast forward, did you think you would end up on a stage or no?
- 15:04How does it ever the plan?
- 15:05Oh my gosh, no.
- 15:07No.
- 15:07And even, you know, as things went along and I started to be able to open to the odd friend or
- 15:14family member a little bit, that was still enough of a challenge.
- 15:18I was still very much trying to keep all the realities in I was my job.
- 15:25I was a showgirl.
- 15:26My job was to make people smile.
- 15:28My job was to entertain.
- 15:29So tell me about that reality.
- 15:31Tell me about the, I mean, whether you wanna get what the diagnosis was or whatever, but
- 15:35just give me that internal play of what would be happening as you're getting treatment.
- 15:41As you meet with this therapist, as you develop us, we know it takes a long time
- 15:45for you to have
- 15:46that card.
- 15:47And you're trying to get better, but you're you're working.
- 15:50So what's happening through, when I go to, of course, what are we looking for at the theater?
- 15:55We're looking for perfection and what high energy, and we want everything perfect.
- 16:01So what's happening in your head at that point?
- 16:04I used to say that I survived on a diet of guilt and obligation.
- 16:07Wow.
- 16:08Because I owed it to the audience, the the whether it was a theater audience or a
- 16:13corporate one at a Gallo, wherever I was dancing that and performing.
- 16:18They didn't come to see Kristen.
- 16:20They came to see a show.
- 16:21And the problem I could switch into go, well, no problem.
- 16:25You put on a you know, makeup and curlers that, you know, no problem.
- 16:30I'm playing a character out.
- 16:31I go.
- 16:31I'm a 1920 show girl.
- 16:33Here we are.
- 16:34The problem was that the lines blurred between that and actual me to the point where I was
- 16:40just playing a character 24 And they were slightly different characters, but none of it
- 16:46was authentically me.
- 16:48And I don't even think I could have been.
- 16:51Don't even think I knew how to be authentically me at the time because I've been in survival
- 16:56mode for so long, and people love the showgirl personality Everyone smiled and cheered and
- 17:03laughed, and it was great.
- 17:04And then my dance classes were always full.
- 17:06So it was a positive reinforcement loop.
- 17:09You know?
- 17:09And then every now and again, you'd let out a little bit of the real assault and people would
- 17:13recoil, just like you talk about having the the sphere around you that nobody wanted to
- 17:19approach once they knew you were a psychotherapist.
- 17:21It it it's very much the same if they know you're different, whether that's depression or
- 17:27autistic or whatever mix you happen to be.
- 17:30If people know you're different and they don't understand, they step back.
- 17:33And I can remember trying to let a guard down with someone I was dating around 2015 ish.
- 17:422014, somewhere around there.
- 17:44And I've been trying to start letting my guard down and actually let him get to know who I
- 17:49was.
- 17:49And that crashing burns so horribly in my face.
- 17:53He he said to me one night, you know, you're so much more fun with your friends.
- 17:57I don't know why you deny that side of your me.
- 18:00And that solidified in my mind at the time, wrong as I was.
- 18:04It solidified in my mind that only one version of me was socially acceptable, was publicly
- 18:11acceptable.
- 18:11And that was the problem when you are playing a character 247, is it it is exhausting.
- 18:19And eventually,
- 18:21that catches
- 18:21up with you.
- 18:21So that space to just be you is
- 18:27something that, you know, we don't think about.
- 18:29Right?
- 18:29I I think, you know, I am, you know, Roxanne, a little treaty girl from a Caribbean island and
- 18:36grew up in a family of 6 and, you know, within perfect stuff happening and all those things.
- 18:41But I am who I am in the world, not thinking, right, about it, really, but what you're saying
- 18:47is, like, on any on every I'm gonna say on a visceral level.
- 18:52Yeah.
- 18:52You were trying to pretend or you said you put on the mask to be able to be accepted.
- 18:59And at the end of the day, Chris, we all want stickiness and belonging somewhere.
- 19:03Of course.
- 19:04Thanks, human nature.
- 19:05Absolutely.
- 19:06Absolutely.
- 19:06We all need to find that spot.
- 19:08And you said you work, start to work through it.
- 19:11Were you able to kind of find out, you know, who Christie was from the beginning and who she
- 19:17could be and get comfortable with in the world.
- 19:20And I'm sure that impacted the people around you.
- 19:23Yeah, that maybe got to know the certain versions that you put out there.
- 19:28And the people that ended up staying were the people that really, I would say, and Utah,
- 19:33correct me if I'm wrong, the were the people that really cared for who you really were as a
- 19:37person?
- 19:38100%.
- 19:39And they'll tell me now.
- 19:40They're very honest with me now.
- 19:43That they like this version much better because people may not necessarily have the words to
- 19:48say, hey.
- 19:49You appear to be masking right now.
- 19:50This isn't actually you.
- 19:53That may not come across, but what they'll feel is uneasy.
- 19:56There's something arm's length about your interactions.
- 19:59And they'll feel uneasy about it and maybe uneasy about themselves and the interaction,
- 20:04and therefore, we'll be less inclined to get close you.
- 20:07And a few folks have been very honest with me in recent years to say that I'm much more
- 20:13relatable now, and that's more comfortable.
- 20:15Reflection.
- 20:16Can I I'm gonna say I would say that right?
- 20:18I wouldn't have I wouldn't have.
- 20:19Yeah.
- 20:19You would have been like, what what are you talking about?
- 20:21But I I would go back to the concept of mirror neurons because if I trying to kind of read
- 20:26your internal world.
- 20:27And but you're flitty.
- 20:29Right?
- 20:29Yeah.
- 20:29I'm gonna feel it, and it's gonna make me uncomfortable.
- 20:32And then because I'm trying to calibrate to you if I'm in interaction with you.
- 20:36And if if I feel like you're kind of moving around, I'm gonna always be on steady.
- 20:40And then if I'm not feeling kind of safe in the space, and I'm not gonna come to words as much.
- 20:45So understandable that and and great that you have people in your world, I mean, a we all
- 20:51should have people in our world that are able to call us out, to say, hey.
- 20:55You're not, you know, good.
- 20:56That way.
- 20:57Absolutely.
- 20:58The growth,
- 20:58the goodness, we're honest people.
- 20:59Growth that happens in
- 21:01relationships.
- 21:02So
- 21:02let's flip
- 21:02back to the, you know, the workplace again.
- 21:05Yeah.
- 21:05But is it, you know, Whether it's supervisors or managers or leaders that are watching us to
- 21:11have this chat, what is it that you wish that people would have noticed along the way that
- 21:16might have been able to help others that they may be dealing with now.
- 21:20What kinds of things would you want them to consider in their roles.
- 21:24The fallacy of the one right one.
- 21:26Yeah.
- 21:26I think for a long time, and even still today, in many situations, there's and a belief that
- 21:32there's only one correct way to do things, only one correct way to be professional, and that if
- 21:38you don't, naturally to fall into those particular tendencies that you are there for
- 21:44overall.
- 21:44And if I could make any wish, and I don't I don't fault my previous supervisors.
- 21:49I didn't have the vocabulary.
- 21:51How could I expect them to?
- 21:52But if I could redo everything, if I could go back in time, I wish that could have cultivated
- 21:58some sort of understanding that we can come to a successful outcome no matter which path we
- 22:04take and that there are completely different ways to go about solving the same problem in
- 22:09work in business and it still be correct.
- 22:12That could be 7 different corrects.
- 22:14At my current job, I I do a little activity with folks during onboarding to demonstrate
- 22:19this.
- 22:20Recently, I trained and became a facilitator in Allego, seriously, which is what it sounds
- 22:25like.
- 22:25It is you're playing with Legos, but you're doing it for business purposes.
- 22:28And we do something, a classic activity from Lego called what the And what it involves is
- 22:36everyone in the onboarding session on their first day are handed the same 6 Lego bricks,
- 22:42just six.
- 22:44Specific mix of 6, some of them are yellow, some of our red, one of them has a single
- 22:48eyeball, stuck to the side of it, and they are given one minute and one inch which is build a
- 22:53duck.
- 22:54Any duck.
- 22:54And inevitably, what happens every single time is you end up with, you know, 6, 7 different
- 22:59ducks.
- 23:00Because there are thousands of possibilities.
- 23:03Oh, wow.
- 23:04But the point is we're given the same instruction, the same materials, and the same
- 23:09time constraints.
- 23:10And yet still, you'll end up with an infinite amount of answers.
- 23:14And it just so perfectly demonstrates diversity of thought, diversity of approach diversity of
- 23:20minds and how we go about these things without having to explain it with graphs and charts six
- 23:26different ways.
- 23:27Simply building a doc on a limb, it'll makes it abundantly clear.
- 23:31How powerful, though?
- 23:32You know?
- 23:36Or or that's a really good duck.
- 23:38Oh, I didn't see that.
- 23:40Well, and the rule is
- 23:41they're all ducks.
- 23:42We, you know, you say it's not easy to do.
- 23:44Nobody criticize.
- 23:45Probably looking at someone's Lego and going, wow.
- 23:48That's amazing that they can see certain things.
- 23:51So what a powerful way to demonstrate to your point when we speak or train or have meetings
- 23:57and we're doing our pie charts for graphs and graphics and power points.
- 24:01It's a different thing, but this is reality right in front of you.
- 24:05Wow.
- 24:06This is powerful.
- 24:07Now you you speak and train and do consulting environments this.
- 24:12Again, tell me what the reality is in the workplaces out there now and so that I have a
- 24:21sense of what you're seeing out there and
- 24:25so much goodwill, so many good intentions, I think the message has gotten across in the
- 24:30last, especially the last 5 years with the pandemic with everything that we collectively
- 24:36went through there, that mental health is crucial.
- 24:42It's not a side project.
- 24:43It's not just your ERG.
- 24:44It it is crucial to the success of your organization and your people.
- 24:48And it's in the last year or 2, then I'm finally starting to see neurodiversity bundled
- 24:54in with that conversation.
- 24:56It's still being viewed very much as a separate issue, which I argue it isn't.
- 25:01I argue that you have to tackle both.
- 25:03There's just too many overlaps.
- 25:05If if 70 to 80% of neurodivergent folks are also experiencing depression or anxiety, it's a
- 25:11collective issue.
- 25:12And psychological safety affects every single one of your people, regardless of any diagnosis
- 25:16or any personal trauma that they may be experiencing.
- 25:19So These are no longer just side projects that you task a little, you know, employee resource
- 25:25work with.
- 25:26It is now essential to business
- 25:28has to be a strategy that's one of the main business objectives, period.
- 25:32And, yeah, you know, we talk about psychological safety.
- 25:35We talk about diversity in you know, gender identity.
- 25:39We're getting better.
- 25:40We're getting better.
- 25:41We're getting
- 25:41better.
- 25:42But at the end of the day, and, you know, when I talk about my content, to the the ROR and
- 25:46return our relationships.
- 25:47And I always go heart to heart.
- 25:49You know, if we can deconstruct all the stuff that gets between human beings and we tell them
- 25:55just to synchronize, to what is in front of them, how powerful that is.
- 26:02You know, because like you or myself, like we're women, and we have a cup a couple of
- 26:07things in common, but we are so different.
- 26:10When we get to that space of really just wanting to know the individual in front of you,
- 26:15how powerful that could be.
- 26:17You know?
- 26:17And but that taught that takes skill development in leaders and supervisors as
- 26:22managers and supported by accident.
- 26:26Yeah.
- 26:26It won't have it has to be definitely very strategic for the leaders or the CEOs out there
- 26:33that are listening to us.
- 26:35If you could give them a call to action or some things for them to to think about, in the
- 26:40neurodiversity realm.
- 26:42What what'd you impart onto them?
- 26:43I'm gonna get 2.
- 26:45Because the data are equally important.
- 26:47One is something to let go of and one is something to actively do.
- 26:51The one to let go of is any internal pressure you may feel to be an expert on ADHD, to be an
- 26:57expert on dyspraxia, to be an expert on any of these diagnoses, because truth is you may never
- 27:03know the specific that any of your people are dealing with, and neither was it technically
- 27:07any of your business.
- 27:09So we don't need to know a person's diagnosis to know how to support them.
- 27:13And we the way we do that, and this is number 2, is with this most simple of questions that
- 27:20if you can work this into every one on one that you have, just let it be there, let people
- 27:25trust that it'll always be there, end everyone on one with this how can I best support you?
- 27:31How can I support you to be at your at first, they may always answer with, oh, no?
- 27:35I'm fine.
- 27:36Everything's great.
- 27:36No problem.
- 27:37But eventually as trust builds, and the more you ask that question, the more trust will
- 27:42build, they may answer you.
- 27:44And it may be something simple, like, oh, I hard to focus in is where my desk is.
- 27:49Can I move to a different area of the office, or the 8 AM start is a bit of a trick?
- 27:54Can I switch to night by instead of 8 to 4 or vice versa?
- 27:59What works for your workplace is is going to be, you know, is different than this greens of
- 28:04sand.
- 28:05If you can just build that trust between, I say, direct managers and their teams is the
- 28:13best place to do that.
- 28:14Because as, a director with, you know, 50, 60, 700 people under you, it gets a little tricky.
- 28:20But if each direct manager can ask that question of their teammates on the regular that
- 28:26trust will build, psychological safety will build, and then your folks will feel empowered
- 28:33tell you when they need something.
- 28:35And it's that's when the magic happens.
- 28:37One of the little tip- I'll throw in.
- 28:38It it's just universal learning, right, your universal design, having things in place that
- 28:43allow folks to customize their work experience as they need today, because as you know, as a
- 28:51therapist, we're not always identical the day at each day, you know, Tuesday I might have
- 28:56absolutely no focus, but Wednesday, I'll be hyper focused and absolutely malaise with a lot
- 29:00of something.
- 29:01So having, different software in place, for example, that folks can tap in or tap out of as
- 29:08they need to having a certain degree of workplace flexibility, there's all kinds of
- 29:13things that can be done to build that trust and flexibility into your workplace without bottom
- 29:20line suffering without it costing a ton of money without losing focus of what your
- 29:24business actually is.
- 29:26Yeah.
- 29:26You know, the personal design team.
- 29:28Powerful stuff, Kristen, and I think we could have so much more of a conversation.
- 29:32So for people that are out there and they're thinking, how do I connect how do I get her to
- 29:37come in and speak or to talk strategy?
- 29:40Why don't you tell people a little bit about your business and where they can get ahold of
- 29:44you and some of the services that you offer.
- 29:46Sure.
- 29:46I'm pretty easy to find.
- 29:47There's just only one other Kristen Light that I've ever found on the internet.
- 29:51So christenlight.
- 29:52Ca is my website.
- 29:53You don't see all about me in the different types of Roxanne.
- 29:55Trip that I do there.
- 29:57And on LinkedIn, I am most active there, Kristen, ME Light, as well on LinkedIn.
- 30:03Mostly what I'm doing at the moment is, workshops, speaking, keynote addresses, things
- 30:10like that.
- 30:11I speak primarily on the psychological safety neurodiversity overlap as well as on suicide
- 30:19prevention and the aftermath of lived experience in that realm as well.
- 30:24I'm actually on a grant program right now, developing a neuro inclusion program for the
- 30:29Canadian construction industry.
- 30:31So if that is your field, we should definitely talk, drop me a line because I am working with
- 30:37the Canadian association of supported employment on that, and we've made huge strides
- 30:42at, the organization that I partnered with during the day.
- 30:47I'm really proud of that one.
- 30:48Actually, that's coming together really well.
- 30:49But, yeah, definitely get in touch.
- 30:51I, I am terrible at reaching
- 30:53out myself, so please initiate, and I'll be happy to respond.
- 30:58Awesome.
- 30:58Well, Kristen, again, thanks so much for coming on today.
- 31:01So I'm not what am I worth walking away with?
- 31:04I think that we all wanna fit.
- 31:07Yeah.
- 31:08So in our roles in in whatever realm you are going out there in the world, Whether you're
- 31:13the senior leader, the manager, the frontline peer, I think at that little girl, like you
- 31:18said, at school, that all of us were of them wanting to just have that couple of buddies to
- 31:24be able to, you know, hang out with.
- 31:26Think, yeah, in your world, who needs what and try to take one small act towards including
- 31:34that person today.
- 31:35Just one small thing.
- 31:37And for the senior leaders and CEOs, think of your strategy.
- 31:42How is it that you are thinking of that 20, percent is a 20% person that you're saying that
- 31:51might have a diagnosis.
- 31:53You're How are you preparing as you are looking at your strategic plans for the year?
- 31:59And where are you?
- 31:59What is your reality?
- 32:01And if your reality is I'm not so sure, that's something that's telling you.
- 32:05You really need to address these concerns.
- 32:08So for everyone, you know, whatever you're needing from me, you know, I've read my new
- 32:12book, ROR return on relationships.
- 32:14If you're curious about how authentically connected you are in your relationships.
- 32:18And you can just go to dot com forward slash quiz.
- 32:20There's a little mini quiz that you can take and we'll look either at your business
- 32:25relationships or your personal relationships.
- 32:27So send you a little assessment with some outcomes and some next steps.
- 32:32So, Kristen, again, thanks so much.
- 32:34And for everyone, thanks for hanging out with us again, and, we'll chat again with you next
- 32:39week.
- 32:39Take care.
- 32:40Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive,
- 32:46healthy change.
- 32:47Roxanne is a keynote speaker psychotherapist and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
- 32:53rocksandurhaj.com/blueprint.
- 32:57We'll see you next time.
- 32:59Unauthentic living with Roxanne.