Latest / You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women / 116. How to Lead With Authority Without Doing Everything Yourself

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116. How to Lead With Authority Without Doing Everything Yourself · You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

• 0:08
  Hi, I'm Danny Tan and if you are here, you are in the right
• 0:11
  place. Welcome to the Pivot and
• 0:13
  Promotion podcast where we say forget the rules because they
• 0:16
  weren't written for us. I'm Danny Tan, I'm your host as
• 0:19
  well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for
• 0:21
  redefining what success and leadership looks like.
• 0:24
  And here's what I know. You can lead at any level, you
• 0:27
  can pivot at any age, and you can make moves that feel right
• 0:30
  for you. Whether you're climbing the
• 0:32
  perfect ladder, starting something completely new, or
• 0:34
  just figuring out your next step.
• 0:35
  I've got you covered with strategies, stories, and
• 0:38
  straight up inspiration. So let's make some moves.
• 0:45
  OK, so today we're going to be talking about how to lead with
• 0:49
  authority without doing everything yourself.
• 0:52
  So maybe you are a veteran to leadership, but you're starting
• 0:56
  to realize that you're picking up everything.
• 0:58
  Or maybe you're new to leadership and you're going from
• 1:00
  an individual contributor to a first time manager.
• 1:03
  Or maybe you just need a little reminder that being a leader
• 1:06
  does not necessarily mean doing everything yourself.
• 1:08
  And that's the reason why there are teams and support systems
• 1:11
  there for you. So let's go ahead and talk a
• 1:14
  little bit about out a lead with authority and without doing
• 1:17
  everything. So a little bit behind the
• 1:20
  scenes of me and what I have done is that I've worked on many
• 1:23
  different teams when it comes to building out teams.
• 1:25
  Went from being a sample coordinator to AVP of a multi
• 1:27
  billion dollar company. And within that I was going and
• 1:31
  building out different teams on all different kinds of levels
• 1:33
  from small organizations that are startups, from bigger
• 1:36
  organizations and corporations to the work that they do now
• 1:39
  when it comes to helping leaders support and build their teams
• 1:42
  and develop their leadership. So let's go ahead and dive in.
• 1:47
  All right, so going into today's session, the thing that I want
• 1:51
  you to kind of think about is doing more is not the answer.
• 1:55
  Doing more isn't the answer whatsoever.
• 1:58
  And I will be repeating this over and over and over again
• 2:00
  throughout this session that more does not mean more.
• 2:04
  Sometimes it actually means less.
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  And so intentionality is so important when you are leading
• 2:09
  teams, when you're leading yourself in so many different
• 2:11
  ways. A lot of the times if you are
• 2:13
  stepping into leadership or let's just say you kind of like
• 2:16
  throw everything out the window, you will start to feel like you
• 2:20
  are torn between, I want to be a really good leader, I want to
• 2:22
  lead well, and I want to be respected and I want things done
• 2:25
  right. But you were somehow taking on
• 2:28
  more and more more tasks. And so there is this paradox
• 2:32
  when it comes to leadership of, you know, you feel like doing
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  everything means that you're getting everything done and that
• 2:38
  you're developing your leadership because look at me,
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  I'm getting so much done and I'm taking initiative.
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  But also what you're actually doing is working against your
• 2:45
  own authority because now you're just the person who can execute
• 2:48
  and do things. What we actually need is for you
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  to cultivate so many other skills when it comes to building
• 2:52
  authority, building trust, helping people feel like they
• 2:54
  have more autonomy. So let's dive in.
• 2:57
  So if you are a high performer and you're like, Oh my gosh, but
• 3:03
  I just got this promotion, I just got this leadership
• 3:06
  position, or I'm just so used to doing well and doing the best.
• 3:10
  You may see that it's hard for you to let go of the fact of
• 3:15
  being relied on. You have built your reputation
• 3:18
  of being really good at what you do from being a super reliable,
• 3:22
  you have built your credibility. You are like, Oh my gosh, I get
• 3:25
  things done. I do things well.
• 3:26
  And so you have this expectation set of yourself and this
• 3:29
  reputation set. So it's really hard when you're
• 3:31
  going from being that high performer, individual doer to
• 3:35
  being somebody's going to be a manager and leader that you have
• 3:37
  to actually learn to depend on other people.
• 3:40
  There's also this factor with fear when it comes to, Oh my
• 3:43
  gosh, if I let go of the projects and I'm not doing
• 3:47
  everything and I give it to somebody else, how will I know
• 3:50
  it's done well? How will I know it's done
• 3:51
  appropriately? Oh my gosh, all my job is is to
• 3:54
  manage people and lead them. I'm not actually executing the
• 3:58
  work myself. I'm not going to seem lazy that
• 3:59
  I'm not doing enough. Will I start to forget how
• 4:02
  things are done? All these thoughts are to come
• 4:04
  up and then at the end of the day, you're kind of and really
• 4:08
  honestly used to proving your worse through doing things.
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  And so when you are new to leadership or new manager,
• 4:14
  you're kind of like, Oh my gosh, but I need to be involved still.
• 4:17
  How will I still stay relevant? They may not need me at that
• 4:20
  point. And so I just want you to
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  remember that what made you successful as an individual
• 4:25
  contributor is not necessarily what's going to give you
• 4:27
  authority and make you a strong leader.
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  And now you're about to find a new set of skills.
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  So that was great then, but now it's something to look at a
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  different lens. And this is, this is especially,
• 4:35
  especially true for my first and 2nd Gen. folks, for my women of
• 4:40
  color. We are so used to being the
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  going to for everything. We are the go to for everything
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  within our friends, within our family, within our work, in our
• 4:49
  teams, with our bosses. And so we're so used to being
• 4:52
  the executor, the doer, the one that gets things done, the one
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  that makes things happen, the problem solver for every single
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  department, for every single, you know, yeah, Theo, like, you
• 5:03
  know, cousins, parents. And so this is what I want you
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  to know. When you're stepping into
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  leadership, which you have been doing, it is now your time to
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  start to let this melt off you of that you have to get
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  everything done now. There's different sets of skills
• 5:17
  that you're going to develop in order to build this authority
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  around yourself as a leader. And so the difference between
• 5:23
  control and authority, this is what I want you to kind of
• 5:26
  remember is that control comes from doing, checking, staying
• 5:30
  close to every single detail and making sure there's execution at
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  every single step. Like I want to be in control to
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  make sure it's executed a certain way.
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  That is one piece. Then there's authority.
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  Authority comes from being really clear, giving strategic
• 5:44
  direction, having trust and setting a vision and empowering
• 5:47
  others to help execute. So if you are a leader, you
• 5:50
  don't have to touch every single little thing that is being done
• 5:53
  and executed for to be done. Your job now is to make
• 5:57
  decisions to set the priorities and the vision and to make sure
• 6:00
  there's alignment across all the people that are working on this.
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  I always say to, you know, folks, think about ACEO of a
• 6:06
  company. Do you think the CEO of the
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  company is in every single little thing, touching every
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  single little thing, helping every single person on every
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  single little piece that rolls up to the company's mission of
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  the CEO is not doing that. They are studying the vision,
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  they are setting the mission and they are saying what needs to be
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  done within what timelines and people execute.
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  And so that is the difference between having authority versus
• 6:27
  having control. And so being able to know the
• 6:30
  difference. This is what happens is if you
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  continue to allow yourself to be the go to for everything, you
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  can create a dependency trap. So you're going to be in a
• 6:40
  vicious cycle of dependency where one everyone that you
• 6:45
  know, you will have set the tone that you're the one that's going
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  to do it. You're the one that's going to
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  get it done. And that does not help anyone
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  because one that's not going to help you flourish as a leader,
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  to develop your authority to be able to continue to grow and
• 6:58
  succeed as a leader. And also it's not going to help
• 6:59
  your team. So your team will also become
• 7:01
  dependent on you, the same where your cross functional team
• 7:04
  members and partners are. And so you need to be able to
• 7:07
  allow your team to grow and learn and let them allow
• 7:11
  themselves to problem solve, to learn that they're capable to
• 7:13
  have some autonomy. And so you don't want to create
• 7:15
  this dependency on yourself, which is why you should not do
• 7:17
  it yourself all the time. And you and also you're going to
• 7:20
  get stuck in the weeds like leaders should not be in the
• 7:23
  details of the tactical day-to-day.
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  You're supposed to be there to create the strategy, the vision,
• 7:29
  be able to see what the future plan is.
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  That way the team can roll up into that and then doesn't
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  Createspace for you to think, think about the times as an
• 7:36
  individual contributor and executing things.
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  How many times your manager probably said to you before you
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  got your promotion, how you stepped into your first
• 7:43
  leadership role. Hey, it's really important for
• 7:46
  you to be able to focus on strategy.
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  It's really important for you to share your POV.
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  It's hard to do that if you are constantly in the weeds of
• 7:53
  execution, still helping folks with things.
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  And so I just want you to remember in in so many ways is
• 7:59
  that if everything runs through you on your team, you're
• 8:05
  probably the bottleneck. You're probably slowing things
• 8:07
  down in some way, shape or form. If everything has to be
• 8:09
  finalized and approved and reviewed by you.
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  There are ways to do it that makes sense without completely
• 8:15
  burning you out, burning your team out, as well as just making
• 8:19
  sure that you have time and space for strategy.
• 8:22
  You're not creating dependency on yourself and you're not
• 8:24
  getting stuck in the tactical. These are all important things.
• 8:27
  I have one client who everything had to be run by her.
• 8:32
  She actually wasn't a new time leader whatsoever.
• 8:35
  She's a very seasoned leader, but she was very worried about
• 8:38
  adopting this new team and worrying about, OK, now that I
• 8:40
  have this new team that maybe isn't performing as well.
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  She just wanted to make sure that they were going to improve
• 8:47
  their performance. She didn't want it to be known
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  that she had this team that was underperforming and then it was
• 8:51
  going to affect her reputation and what it is that she was
• 8:53
  doing. So versus maybe taking the time
• 8:56
  to mentor and coach them. She was actually just getting
• 9:00
  into the trenches with them for an execute stuff which
• 9:03
  disempowered them, didn't develop or train them and then
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  create a dependency that she was going to get it done.
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  And so knowing that the conversation that we had was how
• 9:11
  can you take a step back and understand what they need in
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  order to help empower them and essentially activate them in a
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  way that makes sense? So let's go ahead and talk a
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  little bit more. So what authority looks like?
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  So what it does not look like is micromanaging every detail,
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  disappearing, you know, into all the things that are happening
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  and then trusting without structure.
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  Like you can't just say like, I don't want you to think
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  authority is like, oh, I trust you.
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  So now you do it. No, like you have to be able to
• 9:43
  trust people and empower them. You have to give them structure
• 9:45
  and support. That's definitely your job and
• 9:46
  your responsibility. I think the same thing with my
• 9:48
  clients, like my responsibility in the relationship is to give
• 9:51
  structure and support whereas needed for them to achieve the
• 9:54
  vision and the goals that they have set for themselves.
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  And so knowing that that is where that comes from.
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  What authority looks like when you are leading is you're having
• 10:02
  clear boundaries and expectations of what is wanted.
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  So you're setting expectations of what this person is or what
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  your team members are going to go ahead and achieve and you're
• 10:10
  making very strong and timely decisions.
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  So the big strategy decisions that need to be, you know,
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  decided for them to move forward, you help with that
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  instead of just solving problems for them, you ask them questions
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  and coach them to see what solutions they potentially have
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  to help empower them. And then you let people also
• 10:28
  come to their own solutions and outcomes versus just always
• 10:32
  laying it out there for them. So I had one client who was a
• 10:36
  first time manager and she was saying that, you know, her team
• 10:39
  doesn't necessarily feel super motivated.
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  One person's having issues with development, the other person's
• 10:44
  doing really well, but it's really inconsistent across the
• 10:47
  board. And so she says she's always in
• 10:49
  there, she's jumping, she's helping, she's rolling up her
• 10:51
  sleeves. And so one of the questions I
• 10:52
  asked her was, OK, so it sounds like whenever there's that's the
• 10:55
  problem, you're there and you're ready.
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  But if they feel like they're all at different levels when it
• 11:01
  comes to how they show up to work and how they contribute and
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  what they're good at, whenever there is an issue, do you open
• 11:07
  up the question for them and ask them, hey, you know, based off
• 11:10
  of what's going up on the issue that's happening, what would you
• 11:13
  recommend? Because they're closest to it,
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  right? Like once you start to move up,
• 11:17
  you're not as in the weeds anymore.
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  And she said no, Usually I come with a solution.
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  And so the biggest things in like the smallest shift of like
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  creating authority and not doing everything is asking the
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  question to those who are in that role, hey, what do you
• 11:29
  think would be the best solution for this?
• 11:31
  What do you recommend being closer to it?
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  And then of course, if they get stuck, if they're unsure,
• 11:36
  working that through with them, yes, I'm sure you have the
• 11:38
  answer at the end of the day. But helping them start to build
• 11:41
  that confidence for themselves and helping them build that
• 11:44
  belief in themselves as well helps you in the long run
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  develop this person, but also create authority for yourself
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  versus executing everything. And so how can you shift
• 11:55
  something in your relationship with a team that you work with?
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  I'm either asking questions or prompting versus doing
• 12:01
  everything 1st. And so the biggest shift that I
• 12:04
  see within leaders, what they're making is that they have to
• 12:06
  realize that building authority and building your leadership
• 12:10
  does not come from being busy one more time.
• 12:15
  Building authority and being a leader does not come from being
• 12:19
  busy. That is something that served
• 12:22
  you as potentially an individual contributor as like being super
• 12:26
  busy, getting things done, executing, but that isn't it.
• 12:29
  No one here is going to be like giving you a round of applause
• 12:34
  for constantly being like super, super busy, taking on too many
• 12:37
  tasks because now you have a team.
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  So all the additional tasks that you take on your team takes on.
• 12:42
  And so the other thing is, is like being able to understand
• 12:45
  that your standards, they can say, hi, you're not lowering
• 12:50
  your standards by giving up responsibility, by giving your,
• 12:55
  your, by being able to give up responsibility to your team,
• 12:59
  right? And dole out responsibilities
• 13:01
  versus doing everything yourself.
• 13:03
  It doesn't mean that you're lowering the standard.
• 13:05
  It means that you're raising the capacity and the capabilities of
• 13:09
  your team members. You're training them, you're
• 13:10
  mentoring them, you're developing them.
• 13:12
  And so it's actually that you are not going to lose the
• 13:15
  quality of your work just because you're, your, your team
• 13:17
  is doing it. You're actually going to empower
• 13:19
  them and train them and coach them and help them become even
• 13:22
  better. And the last piece is like, you
• 13:24
  have to be able to embrace this discomfort, this control piece
• 13:28
  where if I'm doing it myself and I do everything myself, that I'm
• 13:31
  able to control the outcomes. Sorry, but like being a leader
• 13:36
  requires for you to be a little bit uncomfortable.
• 13:38
  There is some ambiguity. You have to trust others.
• 13:41
  You have to also Createspace and allow them to make mistakes and
• 13:44
  to grow. And there's a way to do it
• 13:45
  safely. I had one leader who was always
• 13:48
  like, but if I let them do it and they mess it up, we're in
• 13:50
  big trouble. OK, great.
• 13:52
  So let's create a system. Let's create a system that this
• 13:56
  team member will do the first pass of this by this deadline.
• 13:59
  Then you're going to come in at that touch point, review it,
• 14:01
  give feedback, give them a second time to do it.
• 14:03
  And and then they can execute it.
• 14:05
  The final version that is There's ways to allow and
• 14:08
  empower and teach and coach and mentor other people without
• 14:12
  creating business risk. They just spell planning and
• 14:16
  structure. So I just want you to know it's
• 14:18
  not your job as a leader to prove that you are the most
• 14:21
  useful. It is really your job to make
• 14:23
  your team effective. You're there to remove
• 14:26
  roadblocks. You're there to remove issues.
• 14:28
  You're there to hear them out and to hear their solutions and
• 14:30
  help them if they get stuck. That is really your job is to
• 14:33
  help your team member shine like no one cares if you're doing it
• 14:36
  all. It what matters if you develop
• 14:37
  the team to do it. And so many leaders have this
• 14:39
  like breakthrough moment when they start to realize that wait
• 14:42
  a minute, it's actually about the team and not about me doing
• 14:47
  everything. It's about me empowering,
• 14:48
  enabling, not enabling, but you know what I mean?
• 14:50
  It's me empowering and making it them all able to do the things
• 14:53
  they want to do. And So what can you do?
• 14:56
  What changes when leaders stop doing everything?
• 14:58
  Your team is going to build their confidence.
• 14:59
  They're going to have ownership over the work that they do.
• 15:01
  They're going to stop having like feeling like they have to
• 15:04
  go to you for every little thing and get permission.
• 15:06
  They're going to start problem solving on their own.
• 15:08
  You know how amazing it is when you have a team of people who
• 15:10
  can all creatively problem solve versus it just being your your
• 15:14
  POV? That's how you innovate
• 15:16
  organizations. That's how you innovate
• 15:17
  companies. Different backgrounds, different
• 15:19
  ideas, different cultures, different perspectives.
• 15:22
  And then you create mental space.
• 15:23
  It creates mental space for you as a leader to start to think
• 15:26
  about like what is most important to grow, develop,
• 15:29
  create vision and strategy that helps you in the long run
• 15:31
  because you're helping the higher purpose of the
• 15:33
  organization and yourself develop.
• 15:35
  That also creates mental space for your director boards because
• 15:38
  now they're stopping worrying about when you're going to come
• 15:40
  in and micromanage them. And that's how you start to
• 15:43
  develop leadership presence because now you're being seen as
• 15:47
  a strategist. Now you're seeing being seen as
• 15:49
  a decision maker, a visionary, not just a doer executor.
• 15:53
  And so that's the biggest thing that happens.
• 15:55
  This is how my clients get promoted.
• 15:57
  This is how my clients become better leaders.
• 16:00
  They are so have had and are used to having leaders who are
• 16:04
  the micromanagers, who are the ones who are not developing
• 16:07
  them, the ones who do not care about their perspective.
• 16:09
  And guess what? They're leaving them, OK?
• 16:11
  And they're getting new jobs or they're becoming bosses and
• 16:13
  leaders themselves. And so I want you, especially if
• 16:15
  you're like watching this and listening to this, I want you to
• 16:18
  make this stuff happen for yourself because what we need
• 16:20
  are leaders who actually care about their development that are
• 16:22
  watching stuff like this. Because let me tell you,
• 16:27
  managers, bosses, CE OS leaders, they don't have required
• 16:31
  leadership training to get promoted.
• 16:33
  And so it's so funny, the ones that do end up getting promoted
• 16:35
  and putting leadership positions who end up, I don't know, having
• 16:38
  their teams with high turnover and burnout.
• 16:40
  So you be the one that steps up and you be the one who doesn't
• 16:43
  take everything on, but knows how to educate, coach, mentor
• 16:46
  and train the people that you work with.
• 16:49
  And so this is what I want you to focus on this week.
• 16:51
  So I would love for you to start to build some some some momentum
• 16:56
  when it comes to this. So if you have a team, you're
• 16:58
  early contributor, early individual contributor, even if
• 17:00
  you are still trying to get into a leadership position, you can
• 17:04
  still test this out. And if you're somebody who's
• 17:06
  seasoned and senior, you can still test this out because
• 17:08
  listen, even myself with all the different kinds of teams that
• 17:13
  I've hired, developed and trained, I even still sometimes
• 17:15
  have a little moment where I have to check myself, where I
• 17:19
  start to get in the weeds and I start doing everything, OK.
• 17:21
  So it does not matter if you have had 10 + 20 plus years in
• 17:25
  the game when it comes to being a leader, even you even you
• 17:28
  know, you can sometimes get in the thick of it and lose sight
• 17:33
  of being able to empower and mobilize other people and the
• 17:37
  people that are on your team. So the first thing I want you to
• 17:39
  do is I want you to identify 1 task that you are potentially
• 17:42
  doing that, you know, you don't have to do anymore.
• 17:45
  Like what is 1 task that you don't need to be doing anymore
• 17:47
  that you can, you know, go ahead and allocate to somebody on your
• 17:50
  team. That's the first piece.
• 17:51
  And the second piece is I want you to clarify with that person,
• 17:54
  OK, what does a job well done look like at this?
• 17:57
  Like what are the expectations for that task?
• 17:59
  They're taking on timelines, the quality of work, what needs to
• 18:02
  be done? And then I want you to then
• 18:04
  allow them to work on it. And I don't want you to like
• 18:06
  give give them answers if there's a problem, I want you to
• 18:08
  start to meet with them either weekly or bi weekly on how they
• 18:11
  have taken that on and integrated and transitioned into
• 18:13
  that into taking on that task and owning it.
• 18:15
  So it could be something as simple as like a report.
• 18:18
  It could be something as simple as, you know, a workflow that
• 18:22
  they've been doing. It'd be so simple of something
• 18:24
  small, but thinking about what that looks like.
• 18:27
  And you know, remember, you don't have to let go of
• 18:29
  everything at once. Just practice doing this one
• 18:31
  thing at a time so you can start to release doing everything
• 18:34
  yourself and being able to empower others in order to help
• 18:38
  you. And that's how you really lead
• 18:39
  with authority is by building trust and empowering others.
• 18:43
  And so just know that if leading authority does not come from
• 18:47
  doing more, it comes from clarity, trust and being able to
• 18:49
  help others and showcasing that value.
• 18:51
  And so if you are somebody who is trying to shift from the
• 18:55
  doing it all person to now the leading person and you wanted to
• 18:58
  be a successful transition to being a leader or maybe just
• 19:02
  need a little wake up call to check in, know that this is the
• 19:04
  work that I do within private coaching.
• 19:06
  So I have amazing clients who have gone from individual
• 19:09
  contributors to leaders or who are seasoned leaders.
• 19:12
  And they are either developing teams, hiring teams,
• 19:15
  reinvigorating teams that maybe haven't been performing as well.
• 19:18
  And I help them when it comes to identifying like themselves,
• 19:22
  their leadership of what they're trying to develop for themselves
• 19:25
  and as well as the leadership they can do develop for their
• 19:27
  teams. And so within private coaching,
• 19:28
  we work together in order to make this happen in three to six
• 19:31
  months. And so you can learn more about
• 19:33
  that by going to my website at dannytan.com.
• 19:35
  That's DAMIT aam.com. Go to the contacts page and go
• 19:39
  ahead and book a call with me. When you book a call with me,
• 19:42
  you fill out an intake form and then what happens next is we get
• 19:45
  on a call, we talk about what your goals are, what challenges
• 19:48
  you're facing, and then I will talk about what it's like to
• 19:50
  work together in private coaching.
• 19:52
  I'll give you a custom plan and then we kick it off from there.
• 19:55
  My style is very much a mixture of facts and feelings, as all my
• 19:58
  clients say. And so I will always give you
• 20:01
  strategy on what it is it looks like to what it is you want to
• 20:04
  achieve. I always give you action items
• 20:06
  to. Take away and to work on in
• 20:08
  order to help develop those things.
• 20:09
  And my goal is always for you to be able to walk away with some
• 20:12
  new skills that you developed to help you for a lifetime.
• 20:14
  That's always my goal. And I always say this to my
• 20:17
  clients. They're my clients for life.
• 20:19
  And so I have clients that have worked with me for years.
• 20:22
  And even if you're not working with me consistently, I still
• 20:25
  check on you years later. I had a call earlier today with
• 20:28
  actually 2 clients, one that I worked with three years ago and
• 20:31
  one that I worked with about two years ago.
• 20:33
  And I still check in because I want to know how you're doing.
• 20:35
  And so it's always really awesome to hear how much they
• 20:37
  are, they're thriving, they're doing well, and it's always
• 20:40
  great to support them. And so again, if you are
• 20:43
  curious, you want to learn more, go to my website.
• 20:45
  But it's been great talking to you and have a great one.