Latest / Arizona Unscripted / Episode 36: 🌵 Arizona Unscripted - Building Bridges Through Core Conversations
Transcript
- Arizona Unscripted: Welcome to Arizona Unscripted. I'm your host, Bart, alongside my wonderful co-hosts. And from time to time we'll be joined by special pop-in guests from communities all across the Grand Canyon State. Arizona Unscripted is all about Arizona, its people, its places, its events, and the local issues that shape our everyday lives. From small towns to big cities, from hidden gems and great local food to history, culture, and the challenges facing our communities, we're here to have real conversations with real Arizonans. Our goal is simple. Celebrate what makes Arizona unique while bringing together voices from every corner of our state. So whether you're a lifelong resident, a newcomer, or just someone who loves Arizona, we hope they'll feel right at home. So grab a cup of coffee or something cool, sit back and join us as we explore the people, places, and stories that make Arizona one of the most fascinating states in America. Welcome to Arizona Unscripted. And with that, I'll pass it over to my wonderful co-host Diane. Hey Diane. I know our listeners, maybe there you are. I'm like, hello. it's so good to be here. I, you know, it's just been wonderful having all of these amazing guests and all the great feedback from people who are listening. And we had Congressman Stanton did a shout out at the Hall of Fame dinner and said how much he loved our podcast and like that's so wonderful. To have that spreading across the state and people being so excited about it. So thank you all for doing what you're doing to help build this really important program. And Catherine, I'm going to turn it over to you to introduce Leah. Thank you, Diane. And I'm so glad to hear that people are listening to our podcast. that's that's our goal to reach out to the people of Arizona and get them engaged in the conversation. So today we do have a special guest with us. Leah is with us today, and she is going to talk to us about a program that she has developed called Four Conversations. So welcome, Leah. Hi, thank you. It's very nice to be on here and get to speak with you guys. Thank you for Well, thank you for coming on today. I met you at the resource fair. Actually, I think I talked to you before the resource fair, but I was able to meet you at the resource fair and you stayed quite a while. You seem to enjoy it there. When we talk about conversations like like this is is focused on I went to the tables and I just asked like what's one thing I could take away from from your table. And I learned so much. I didn't get to go to all of the tables. I I got to engage in so many conversations and it was really enlightening. And I was able to collect information and get to share it with people and then have that knowledge in my head for the future. If I ever run into anybody needing something, I have more knowledge there to help and share. And and you are practicing your core conversation, I have a feeling while you are doing that too. It it comes natural. It comes natural. Yeah. Well tell us about tell us about the core conversation, Leah. well, core conversations is something that I was inspired by through the last five years or so. It is about bringing community together and working on it in a way that is not political and not religious. So we bring people to a table and we actually, it's starting with core values. So there are about 30 universal core values that are worldwide that we teach to each other, or we learn in school, we learn in family and things like that. some of them that might sound very familiar are kindness, honesty, respect, responsibility, and compassion. And actually we started this series with humility. And you know, when you think of the word, well, I'll use me. I won't tell you what you think, I'll tell you what I think. Good idea. When I think of the word humility, or when I used to think about it as being humble, and being humble means to step back, be quiet. and as I started to create this session for it, I started to really look at the word humility as to be open, to learn, to be to be receptive of what other people might say and to be humble enough to put my own point of view aside and listen to another point of view. And by doing that, it really just creates a safe space to be willing to learn. And If we don't learn something new every day, like I I high five people when I get to learn something new every day. I find it to be exciting and it just lets me fill my mind with things that are more positive than stuff that we might see or experiences we may have had in the past. I like to try and let those things go and fill it with the positive stuff that that just really ignites the fire in my soul. I love it. And it sounds like your idea of humility. goes along with the core value of responsibility when when you admit that you don't know something, that you don't know everything, then you you open your you do open yourself up to get more information in. And then that allows you to take responsibility for what happens as well. And being that's responsibility is one of our our core values and one of the words that we've experienced in our pilot session. responsibility, the way we look at it sometimes is a duty rather than like an honor. So when we change our perspective about how we look at different things, different words, responsibility in my past, I felt like it's a weight on my shoulders. I have to do it. If I don't, something's gonna happen. And now I look at responsibility as through the lens of joy, the lens of being ignited to do something different. and it inspires me instead. And it brings up positive energy in my mind. And I love that. And then I get to share that with others. So responsibility, an interesting word. Think you can look at it. The more you listen, the more you learn, right? Amen. For sure, for sure. Well, you mentioned the series. Tell us about your series. So Core Conversations is meant to be something that is lasting. So I don't like to look at it as like a class or something that you have to go through or you have to be there every week. But what it is, is it's a safe, calm environment. where we gather around a table. We work through the definition of the word. We work through a mantra, a quote. The quote has an author. We give a little information about an author. We have some meditation to help center ourselves. We fill out a paper that tells us about the word that we're we're talking about. And then we go around the table and we share. So this is something that is weekly. And it's hopeful to be an ongoing thing. So if you miss one, it's okay. You can still come. It can be a date night. it can be just somewhere where you take the moment, as you know, science kind of tells us, and and our bodies speak to us and say, slow down a little bit. We're always so busy. And this is a great space to slow down. You know, you get to sit there, think, talk. and really create that connection and community that we fill so much of a gap lately. You know, as I've listened to one of your podcasts before and then listening to this one and just the entry about having conversations, that's what this is all about. It's how do we build the bridges to help us all work together and find those common commonalities that make us better together. That sounds great. What one of the things that interested me about your ideas, Leah, is helping people do a better job of communicating with people who disagree with us. What advice would you give to people when you are we we know that lately there's been a lot of divisiveness. And sometimes even within families, we have family members who do not know how to have decent conversations. What advice would you give to some of those folks? the most infamous, I don't know if that's the right word, thing that we say in core conversations, and of course we invite everybody to come to it. It it we the the the intention is for it to grow and have more than one space. Because it is an intimate table of around between 10 and 15 people. So we need more spaces for it. But it's about I forgot the question. What what advice do you give to people who are having difficulty with family members or even friends who suddenly won't talk to them? pausing. So pausing before we speak. You know, that that famous saying that makes more sense than it ever did before. Think before you speak. try not to put your foot in your mouth, those type of things. but it's just really pausing and listening. Like when I was a leader on a team, I would always share, hey, what what do you think? Like, somebody is mad at somebody, right? And That happens and our work is our family as well, in my opinion. Yes, yes, it is. It's true. We're with them way more than we are with some of our other family. And so it's it's hey, what was that intention? Do you think the intention behind what they said was mean spirited, or do you think they just said it the way that they could say it? And what could you interpret from that what was said? So That slows us down. And it helped me significantly to not take offense by my own teammate. You know, in in life, we run into things and and asking questions like, what did you really mean by that? Can you explain in more depth rather than making the assumptions in our own mind about what they're saying? let them articulate what they really mean and then understand what is the intention behind it, you know, because most of the time we're saying things out of love, but it's not it's not accepted that way because of a tone, the body language. You know, which I learned a long time ago, that's almost 90% of what we actually receive from a communication is the body language and the tone more than the words. You know, you can say have a nice day, and it can mean a lot of different things like tone. And so this like when people say bless his heart. Yes. I just love that not that long ago, how condescending that can be to somebody. And and yet also how joyful it can be, dependent upon, you know, your intention behind. Exactly. Exactly. Good example of it. Yeah. It really is. And so this is really community focused. You know, it is meant to bring people together. It there is a contribution asking of ten dollars, but you don't if you can come and you cannot afford ten dollars, we want people to participate. That is the most important piece of this. We want this to be to grow into something so beautiful because as we take the time to learn what we value. And discern it for ourselves rather than receiving what has been taught to us over decades, you know, how we're supposed to think, why, you know, everybody kind of tells us, you you're supposed to think like this, but nobody explains the why. Why do we think this way? You know, we're taught share your toys, but nobody says, Why do you need to share your toys? You know, what's what's in it for everyone type of thing. And and that that those mindsets. exists now even for adults. How do we how do we find a way to work together? and this is a clear path to be able to try something new, innovative, and just there you can't okay, anything is possible. So it is possible that you could argue over core values, but it it is really hard to sit there and disagree about what kindness means. But how do we how do we receive kindness? How do we give kindness? What does it mean to us? What if we shifted one little thing in how we we perceived kindness to be? And that that shift impacted more people in a positive way. You know, eye contact. Eye contact is kindness. When someone's speaking to to listen with eye contact and let them know you're engaged. you know, it just it it goes so deep into so many levels. it helps. I'm gonna use my little reference sheet here because I get nervous. we all do. Yeah. Everybody does. Yeah. I just own it. I I try to own it to be comfortable and look at And that's good. So that's taking responsibility. See? This is why I'm doing this because this helps me in this way. I love it. So some of the things that we have concerns around in community is that we've identified and it's common no matter No matter who you are, you kind of feel this. And in conversations I've just had with people, my neighbors, people at the grocery store, I just have random stops and people, you know, start talking and we we talk. But this this concept helps reduce loneliness and and social isolation. You know, that's something we talk about a lot. it helps build bridges, you know, between people because it doesn't really matter. Again, we're all, you know, kind of on the same page when it comes to some with c to these values. Community connection, it brings that generational divides, like you were talking about about family, you know. some of the some things, sometimes the healthiest thing is to disconnect from your family or or certain people in there. And sometimes, you know, at least it's worth trying, right? Give it, give it a shot, give it another shot. But sometimes your peace comes from disconnecting from from some people. And so it's it's not a perfect world and it can't be, but you know, you There's an opportunity. If you and that person that you don't get along with no matter who it is, came and sat at the same table to talk about your core values. Somebody's gonna learn, everybody's gonna learn something more than like, but you know, it it helps us figure out how to speak, how to listen, how to honor one another in in our differences and be okay with that. I've I had to give many difficult messages to my customers. I had to say no a lot. I had to explain why I was saying no. And that's the uncomfortable part for a lot of people, you know, one just to say no, two to explain why you have to say no. And in our customer service, we still were like number one because we did it is it we demonstrated respect. We demonstrated honor, you know, and I role-played with my team so that we could all be effective in how we had to say no when we had to say no. But we wanted to say yes or we wanted to find a solution to the problem. It might not be what you wanted, but it might be something that will help you in the future. And so that experience, as well as just being who I am, I'm an outgoing kind of person on on on some levels, is just really helped create this concept. I I want it to be fun. So we laugh. We have an icebreaker. One of them's like, what's your favorite color right now? You know, and you go around the table, it's lighthearted, it's fun, and you get to learn something interesting about people and why they like a certain color. It's thought provoking, you know, and to take the time to think is something that we are not conditioned to do very much anymore. We're conditioned to go. We're conditioned to, you know, stay busy and stay distracted. And this allows us to stop being distracted, slow down, and do something intentional that can help build community. Because if we don't build our community, if we don't start working towards Something that is more calm and peaceful, easier on our minds, easier on our bodies. What's gonna happen next? And that goes to anybody. You know, no, sometimes we say on one political side, nope, they don't listen. Well, the people on the other side, the people on the other side of that political party are saying the same thing. Same thing. Exactly. But like how how do we start listening? How do we start building those relationships that can positively impact not only ourselves, but our communities as well? We think of all our seniors, we think of all our youth. This is intentionally with no screen. It doesn't cost a bunch of money to fund it. It doesn't cost a lot of money to contribute to it. And two hours a week that you can sit and slow down and meet new people. And find new connections and share stories with. You know, it's kind of like the campfire concept where you, you know, you sit around a campfire and you tell stories. Well, these are actually true to life stories. They're intentionally structured about around a specific word, and they just help us our bodies relax. Everybody who leaves, they're leaving light, you know, and they're grateful for the opportunity to be there. And this just ties in so well. again with connect connection, building bridges. I I there's so many ways that it impacts us. It's just well I love I love the way that you focus on values in it and I because this is what we are told when we do have a disagreement with someone and and a talking politically again people from two political backgrounds, when you come down to the bottom line, most of the values that these two people hold are the same. But it's it it has led off in different directions with policies and talking points to make people think that they don't share the same values. And yet most of us do share those same values. You know, but let's see. We are I'm thinking about how to say this right. We are taught in many ways what to believe. we are influenced by others more often than we are influenced by ourselves. And when we take the time, you know, to to discern and to think about what these values are and what they actually mean to us, we take out a lot of the petty stuff, the intentional things that are said to help us stay divided. And it it just is it's like the foundation. This This, in my opinion, is a very foundational part of community, civic duty, you know, like to learn about who you are, why you are that way. And and, you know, I've had thoughts that I believed for a long time because I just thought it was the way that it was. But really, once I got down to like figuring it out for myself, I was like, I don't really I don't really agree with that thought anymore. And I have the ability to change that perspective. I have that to change my point of view. And I can do that based off of, you know, information, listening, being willing to learn and come up to with something that might make a little bit more sense. I'm a very connect the dot type of person. And just seeing so much anger in even in our little community, you know, like you see so much anger and hostility towards others. And I want to break that pattern. I want us. I want us to break the pattern. one of the big things is instead of it being us versus them, I want I want us and our to be the words we use, our community, you know, our our decisions to make on how we want to be together. And I I often think about sports. And, you know, lots of us love sports and they're teams. And the teams that are the most successful talk about how they work together. They have the same goal. And even even though each individual is c contributing something incredibly important to the team, it's the collective that makes a difference. It's leadership that you you honor. It's the mindset that you take in of it's not just there's no, there's no I and team. How many, how many of us have heard one? So it It's just really about pushing all the little petty things aside. And and maybe we don't use the word petty. There's probably a better word, but you know, and just get down to the foundation. If you don't have a strong foundation, then what you build on top of it is not going to be very constructive. It's not going to last long. And so what this is meant to do is find our foundation, live our foundation, and what can we grow from that? So What's exciting for this just starting because it is something that is like sponsored by other community, you know, businesses, profit, nonprofits, it doesn't matter, but it's sponsored. And by licensing it, you're sponsoring it and you're opening another invitation to a table that's accessible to community. So like right now, we're three to five at the Bullhead Library, the Mojave County Library in Bullhead City on Hancock. and That's our table right now. But we want more tables. We want more people to come together. I can see this in senior centers. I can see this at daycare centers. It's this is not age limited. You know, any age can start working on this once you have the ability to, you know, speak and things like that. But it's it's just a very inclusive set of questions and a way to connect. And the people who have been participating in it. are just, you know, like some people just walk out kind of astounded and happy. that's great. Why not have more of that? For sure. We need more happiness, right? Well, I'm wondering if you plan on like publishing this in some way. well, it can be licensed. I think I would need you to explain to me what you mean by published in like write a book or something about it. Well It is in it is in the list, but right now I am working I want to get emotions started, finances, nutrition, you know. I wanna be able so that's why it's not core value conversations, it's core conversations because these are things that are at our core that we need. We need to understand finances, we need to understand our emotions, we need to be able to understand, you know, our our values, our core values. There's just so many things that are left on the table nowadays that are set aside because we don't have time. But truly we do have time. We are intentionally being distracted by many different things. And I do enough of that all by myself. I don't need anyone else trying to distract me. Right. But well it just is sounds like such a wonderful program and a wonderful idea. I invite you to experience it because once you experience it, you you get it you know it's much easier to get when you experience and just to hear it out loud. So what I would like to do Leah is to give folks my phone number that if they're interested in it I would have them reach out to me and then I could connect them with you. Would that be okay with you? that would be great. I also do have a specific number for a car company core conversation. Okay. If you want to give that, that would be wonderful. All right. Here we go. Being brave. it's nine to eight. I didn't hear him. okay. It's nine two eight two six eight three three seven six. And that is for core conversations. And I will just share what's you what I unless it's too long, but what's unique about this is Like Holy Spirit Episcopal Church is the one sponsoring this right now. And even though it's not political and it's not faith-based, it is it is about feeding community. So many times we think about feeding community through food banks and things like that, which we have quite a great system in in Bullhead City for that. but how do we feed our soul, our minds? You know, and so this is this is a a pathway to be able to do that. And that's what I think is extremely special about it. it it just sounds like a great program. It really does. So we've got your phone number in there. That's 928-268-3376. I think I got it right. If anybody would like to reach out to Leah and find another table for core conversations. Open the table to more people. That's wonderful. Well, thank you so much for coming on our podcast today, Leah. It's been really enlightening to hear what you had to say. Well thank you, Leah. I really appreciate the time and opportunity to do this. It was unexpected and a delight. Well, you've been really a delight yourself. So thank you so much. All right. Thank you. Thank you for coming on.