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Find Your Voice At The Table · Divas That Care Network

0:00
SPEAKER_00: It's Divas That Care Radio.
0:02
SPEAKER_00: Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change.
0:06
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone.
0:13
SPEAKER_00: This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: To find out more about the movement, visit divasletcare.com after the show.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Confidence in Bloom, the podcast where we explore what it really means to grow in confidence, not by becoming someone else, but by coming home to who you truly are.
0:43
SPEAKER_01: Excuse me, I'm your host, Tina Spolotini, and today's conversation is one I think so many women will relate to.
0:50
SPEAKER_01: We're talking about finding your voice, setting healthy boundaries, and standing firm in what matters most.
0:57
SPEAKER_01: For many of us, speaking up doesn't come naturally.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: We worry about disappointing people, creating conflict, or being misunderstood.
1:06
SPEAKER_01: But confidence isn't about being the loudest person in the room.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: It's about trusting yourself enough to use your voice with courage and kindness.
1:15
SPEAKER_01: Joining me today is Rebecca Conley, founder of Rebecca's Feast Personal Chef Service.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: For nearly 20 years, Rebecca has been helping busy families enjoy customized stress-free meals while creating meaningful moments around the dinner table.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: She's also an educator and mentor, helping aspiring personal chefs build businesses they love.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: And she's a contributing author to the upcoming book, The Power of Her.
1:42
SPEAKER_01: Rebecca, welcome to Confidence and Bloom.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: I'm so happy to have you here today.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for having me on.
1:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to chat with you.
1:50
SPEAKER_01: Yes, I'm really looking forward to this.
1:52
SPEAKER_01: So as I was telling you before, I don't like cooking.
1:55
SPEAKER_01: I don't enjoy it.
1:56
SPEAKER_01: I don't like being in the kitchen for any amount of time.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Like I love being at the table.
2:00
SPEAKER_01: I love to eat.
2:01
SPEAKER_01: Yes, right.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: But the kitchen is not, it's just not my foretaste.
2:06
SPEAKER_01: So I know that you're going to motivate me, maybe, give me a little bit of inspiration, or give me some really good ideas.
2:14
SPEAKER_01: Maybe, you know, hint at, you know, maybe we're gonna get a chef one day.
2:18
SPEAKER_01: But well, wouldn't I?
2:19
SPEAKER_01: There's that, there's always that option too.
2:21
SPEAKER_01: I bet you could find somebody for you up there.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
2:25
SPEAKER_01: Okay, now you spend your days bringing people together around the table.
2:30
SPEAKER_01: Food nourishes us physically, but it also is a connection and nourishes us emotionally.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: What have you learned about the power of conversation and truly being heard?
2:43
SPEAKER_02: Power of conversation and truly being heard.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, for me as a personal chef, uh, what I'm looking looking for, listening for uh in my clients, uh is I'm listening for what they enjoy, what uh what flavors they keep coming back to the table for, uh, what kinds of foods, what kinds of preparations, you know, what what is easy for them, what fits their lifestyle.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, because not everything works for everyone and not all flavors work for everyone.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: And what's going to bring people back around their own table is uh the food that fits their story, the foods they grew up with, the flavors they grew up with, things that remind them of uh happy times, right?
3:26
SPEAKER_02: That's why we all love holiday food.
3:28
SPEAKER_02: Um, so those are kind of all the clues that I'm looking for when I think about gathering, uh my clients gathering around their own tables, and even for my own family gathering around our table as well, because our family menu looks vastly different than uh what it might look like for one of my own clients.
3:47
SPEAKER_01: Right.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: I guess that would be that's that's one of the bonuses.
3:51
SPEAKER_01: You get to learn, you know, well, number one, how the different cultures eat, right?
3:56
SPEAKER_01: How the how the family dynamic creates their menu, right?
3:59
SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, we all we live in a world where everyone seems to have their specific needs, right?
4:05
SPEAKER_01: If it's not like a medical condition, it's a flavor thing, right?
4:10
SPEAKER_01: Like I don't like that flavor.
4:11
SPEAKER_01: And I mean, kids are they're notorious for that, right?
4:14
SPEAKER_01: I mean, kids don't like food, right?
4:17
SPEAKER_02: They eat we've got to have patience and keep introducing, never give up with kids, never give up.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, keep introducing that's don't fight about it either, right?
4:27
SPEAKER_01: Right.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: So I have, I mean, of my three kids, I have two boys and a girl, my daughter will eat almost anything.
4:34
SPEAKER_01: That's my butt she is not picky at all, but she's she doesn't like meat, and she know like one thing that I always really loved about her was she knew when she'd had enough.
4:46
SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
4:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know, fantastic.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me and my youngest, we were like, you know, like shovels.
4:52
SPEAKER_01: We just kept bringing it all in because there was all this good food in front of us, right?
4:56
SPEAKER_01: So you don't want to miss any of it, right?
4:58
SPEAKER_01: And her and her twin brother were always like, no, I've had enough, you know, and he's picky.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: It's really funny, they're twins, he's super picky, right?
5:06
SPEAKER_01: She's not picky, but they know when they've had enough, right?
5:10
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
5:12
SPEAKER_01: Like used intuitively.
5:13
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I know.
5:15
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had that.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: I wish I had just a little bit more of that.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: And you can get there.
5:21
SPEAKER_02: You you can, it's a learned habit.
5:23
SPEAKER_02: It is a learned habit.
5:24
SPEAKER_02: I actually have a whole uh workshop on intuitive eating.
5:28
SPEAKER_02: So if you're ever interested, I'm happy to point that point that in your direction.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: That is super good to know.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: I have been working on intuitive eating for myself for the last, I don't know, two or three years, and I have really noticed a big difference.
5:41
SPEAKER_01: I know now when I'm full.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: Like I like, okay, that's great.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: Yes, I know.
5:45
SPEAKER_02: And it's often before you think you're going to be, especially.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Well, we're so busy, right?
5:50
SPEAKER_02: We're so used to eating on the run or grabbing it on the way out the door, or uh, so really trying to protect that uh that dining time, even if it's just breakfast and lunch.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: We always talk about dinner, right?
6:03
SPEAKER_02: And then we forget about breakfast and lunch.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but but truthfully, right?
6:07
SPEAKER_01: Breakfast and lunch are the most important meals, right?
6:10
SPEAKER_01: Like your digestive system starts to slow down after lunch.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: It does, it does.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: And that first meal of the day really sets your blood sugar.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: So if you're uh if you have conditions that you're, you know, it doesn't have to be diabetes, even with autoimmune conditions, Hashimoto's, whatever, um, setting that blood sugar so that it's steady at the beginning of the day, you know, not having that coffee with the even the stevia, I have to remind myself, uh having that first thing of the day is not what you know you want to hit your empty stomach with.
6:41
SPEAKER_01: Right, right.
6:42
SPEAKER_01: So you sound like not just a chef, you sound like a dietitian already.
6:47
SPEAKER_01: And we're only one person culinary nutrient.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: I am a certified nutritionist.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I do not, I'm not an RD, so I can't prescribe or diagnose, but I can definitely, I certainly do educate and support.
6:59
SPEAKER_02: I have all I teach cooking classes in person, and I also have a number of selections of uh online courses that I've put together for I love that.
7:07
SPEAKER_01: I love that because so this is now I don't know.
7:10
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I can speak for myself, I guess, but I would have loved when my kids were young, and I was a stay-at-home mom, but I still hated the cooking.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: I did it, like I we didn't go to the drive-thru, we didn't do any of that stuff, but I you know, I did all the cooking, but man, it took a lot of my energy.
7:26
SPEAKER_01: It you know, when you enjoy something, it's one thing, but when you don't enjoy it, it's work.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, and I think part of not enjoying it is the day in and day out, especially when you're home all the time, too.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: Because I also did I did my stay at home time as well with my kids, especially when they were little.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and I was mostly stay at home.
7:47
SPEAKER_02: The the joy of personal chefing is that it's been a flexible business model for me.
7:51
SPEAKER_02: So uh during the seasons of the kids growing up, I could pick and choose, you know.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: Uh I was fortunate to be able to do that.
7:58
SPEAKER_02: Um, so but I think part of the drudgery of getting into the kitchen, if I can call it that, is that it's just oh, it's something, you know, it's the day in and day out.
8:07
SPEAKER_02: Breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, rinse, and repeat the same thing over and over again.
8:12
SPEAKER_02: And we kind of get it's almost like PTSD, right?
8:15
SPEAKER_02: It's like, oh my gosh.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: And then you fix something, people love it, or you fix something and it sits there at the table and everybody's still hungry afterwards.
8:22
SPEAKER_02: And then you're kind of left with, you know, it's hard to not take that personally when you're the one that's feeding everyone.
8:29
SPEAKER_02: And then it just becomes a, you know, almost a vicious cycle of I don't want to do this anymore.
8:34
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
8:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I yeah, I bet yeah, that's you're it's like you're speaking to me because that's exactly what happened, right?
8:41
SPEAKER_01: Like I felt like my God, I spend more time in the kitchen than I do anywhere else in my life.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Right.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we do.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: We do.
8:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: It is a um, you know, it's more than doing the laundry.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Even if you're doing laundry for a large family every day, you know, you're still in the kitchen more.
9:00
SPEAKER_02: So that is part of uh what I try to through my courses, through my membership, through my uh the lives that I do every week, I try to encourage uh busy moms.
9:12
SPEAKER_02: I try to encourage anyone who's listening to uh to take a step back from their menu planning because we get into this, you know, sort of this um almost a cycle of, you know, okay, gotta I f I I need to find a new recipe.
9:24
SPEAKER_02: I need to find a new something, you know, maybe new health needs crop up, or you know, your kids are going through a growth spurt and uh there's always something different, right?
9:32
SPEAKER_02: Almost week to week, depending on your season.
9:35
SPEAKER_02: And uh what I had to finally do for my own family was take a step back and try to think as if I was a personal chef for my family and take a deep breath, really, really a big, very big deep breath.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: So I could step away from taking it personally, right?
9:51
SPEAKER_02: And kind of look at everything and go, okay, what is it that we're enjoying?
9:56
SPEAKER_02: What because my son and my daughter both have vastly different taste buds, and as it turns out, they have vastly different health needs too, which their taste buds were pointing us towards, unbeknownst to us.
10:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh, so I had to take a step back, and you know, my husband and I enjoy all this glow, all these global cuisines and foods.
10:12
SPEAKER_02: Our first date was at an Indian restaurant, you know, with chicken tikka and uh mango lassie and all the good things.
10:19
SPEAKER_02: And uh, but introducing our kids to those, we were just like, oh, this is not going the way that we planned it to go.
10:26
SPEAKER_02: It's taking a little more effort.
10:27
SPEAKER_02: So I had to take really take a step back and flavor profile my own family and really be honest about what is it that we're eating, uh, and what is it, where can I go next with what I know, and not just try to, you know, force feed almost all of these dishes that I thought that we should be eating, that uh, you know, that even if they were nutritious, you know, we should be eating more of this ingredient.
10:52
SPEAKER_02: Well, but if you're buying it and fixing it and nobody's eating it, then that's just wasted time, money, and effort, right?
10:59
SPEAKER_02: You got to take a step back and say, okay, this is this is the state of things, and uh, and then recognize this is where I want to go, and then try to get yourself there step by step, right?
11:10
SPEAKER_02: And not fight the aversions.
11:12
SPEAKER_02: That's the big one.
11:13
SPEAKER_02: If something is on a scale of one to 10, if there are ingredients or tastes that are like a one or two on a scale of one to ten, don't mess with it.
11:20
SPEAKER_02: Don't there's a reason that aversion is there, and uh, you know, maybe later in life, I hated mushrooms until I was, I don't know, probably late teens.
11:29
SPEAKER_02: You know, my mom loved to put mushrooms in spaghetti sauce, and I was just like, oh my gosh, that's so gross.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: Why are you doing that?
11:36
SPEAKER_02: Thankfully, they were big enough chunks I could pick them out, you know, like pieces of onion and mushroom.
11:40
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm like, I'll put onion and mushroom in absolutely everything.
11:44
SPEAKER_02: It's funny how we change, right?
11:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you do, you do.
11:47
SPEAKER_02: And I've seen it in my own kids now that they're in college.
11:50
SPEAKER_02: My son, who was, you know, the classic by the time he was five, it was chicken nuggets, peanut butter sandwiches, cracker.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he was so basic.
11:57
SPEAKER_02: I was just, I was pulling my hair out.
12:00
SPEAKER_02: And uh, meanwhile, my daughter was eating mustard and pickles and all kinds of, you know, tangy, pungent things.
12:07
SPEAKER_02: Um, but by the time he got to college, he's uh trying new things at the cafeteria, you know, and now that he's in his own apartment, he's cooking interesting things for himself.
12:16
SPEAKER_02: He spent a month in Japan.
12:18
SPEAKER_02: I mean, and it's just kind of all I was I was just like, oh, thank goodness he's you know enjoying a little bit more flavor.
12:26
SPEAKER_01: And there's hope, right?
12:27
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and the thing is when they're always and when they have to learn on their own and they try different things, right?
12:34
SPEAKER_01: It's really good for their.
12:35
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's gonna be things that okay, this I will not make again, right?
12:39
SPEAKER_01: But then there's also those ones that, you know, this is almost good, but if I added this, you know, slowly they get to that point where they can, oh yeah, if I add this, I'll taste a little bit more of that.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: So that's really good.
12:51
SPEAKER_01: That's encouraging.
12:52
SPEAKER_02: It is, it is.
12:53
SPEAKER_02: And I don't, I just started uh cooking for a young family this past week who has a three-year-old, and uh they were they've just been kind of despairing.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: All she wants is pasta, plain pasta, and they love South Asian, Southeast Asian flavors, you know, all kinds of sweet and tart and tangy and spicy and heat and all of that.
13:12
SPEAKER_02: And they're just like plain pasta, what are we gonna do?
13:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, don't worry, just keep exposing, just keep putting it on the table, keep offering, keep giving the example and don't pressure, don't fight about it.
13:23
SPEAKER_02: It's not worth fighting at the table over it, as long as she's nourished, you know, even if it's just plain pasta, then eventually, eventually, because she'll get a little bit courageous.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love that.
13:36
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: So this month here on Confidence of Bloom, we're talking about and standing firm.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: I'd like to know in your life or in your business, was there a moment where or like when you realized you needed to stop shrinking yourself and start really trusting in your own voice?
13:56
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
13:57
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I I can name two, uh, two particular instances in my business.
14:02
SPEAKER_02: You know, I've been cooking professionally since 2007.
14:05
SPEAKER_02: So uh many instances of uh of coming to mind.
14:09
SPEAKER_02: But I think the first one was when I realized it all it both instances revolve around worth and self-worth.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: And I think that's something that uh we as women struggle with in particular, if I can say.
14:21
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and for some reason, uh, you know, those of us who've been at home with our kids, when we enter the workplace again, I think, we kind of have that uh a little bit of imposter syndrome and a little bit of, you know, oh, I've just been at home.
14:35
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, honey, you've been at home doing all the things.
14:38
SPEAKER_02: You've been organizing, coordinating.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: I mean, we have a laundry list, right?
14:42
SPEAKER_02: So one of the first instances was maybe in my uh first or second year of cooking when I had the realization that I that I was the expert.
14:53
SPEAKER_02: I would, I was the professional.
14:54
SPEAKER_02: I wasn't just a self-taught home cook coming into someone's home.
14:59
SPEAKER_02: I was the one who was making the professional rec professional recommendations, you know.
15:04
SPEAKER_02: This is they're bringing me their food problems, their dinner problems.
15:08
SPEAKER_02: And I, as a professional with my experience, I I can say this is what I recommend.
15:13
SPEAKER_02: I recommend we start with this many meals.
15:15
SPEAKER_02: I recommend uh these portion sizes for you.
15:18
SPEAKER_02: Uh, given your, you know, if you have kids or not kids or single or retired, here's what I recommend for your meals given what you like, given what you don't like.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: So even just that act of sending the menu selection before a cook date every time for me became uh a uh, you know, a uh a moment of confidence.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: I have to be confident every time I send a menu selection that this is going to meet their needs.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: And it won't be perfect every time, certainly, but every time they choose off a menu selection, that gives me more information to work with, right?
15:54
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: So uh so so definitely with you know with that with the menu planning, with what I'm offering.
16:00
SPEAKER_02: And then uh the second a second instance of confidence that I can pinpoint was just in the past year, really.
16:10
SPEAKER_02: Um, I've had a difficult health year and I haven't shared all of it online, uh, and I will eventually.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm still uh I'm still sort of coming out of it and getting myself a little bit together, right?
16:21
SPEAKER_02: Perimenoma pause hits us all a little bit differently.
16:24
SPEAKER_02: And uh, but I had a realization in the middle of things, I was like, you know what?
16:28
SPEAKER_02: I can I've been doing this for almost 20 years, and because I've been doing it for almost 20 years successfully, most of my clients I've had for over 10 years, can you believe it?
16:38
SPEAKER_02: Um and they come back, and even ones who that I might have for regular service come back for special, special events and parties.
16:44
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I just did a high school graduation party for a longtime client, and it was so amazing to see their daughter graduate and start that family celebration and get to get to make that moment memorable for them with their food and the table decorations and whatnot.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I came to the realization that you know what I can teach others to do this too because I've been doing it for over almost 20 years.
17:08
SPEAKER_02: Uh, I have things that I can say about it.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: You know, I can teach others to also have this wonderful gift of being a personal chef for other families.
17:19
SPEAKER_02: It's a flexible business model, it works with uh, you know, your lifestyle.
17:24
SPEAKER_02: It can be as highly profitable as you want it to be.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Can, you know, you can grow it in so many different directions.
17:31
SPEAKER_02: There's a creative aspect to it.
17:33
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, turn adding that coaching aspect or the mentoring aspect to my business was uh a big moment of confidence for me.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
17:42
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
17:43
SPEAKER_01: And sometimes, you know, it takes you hearing your words coming out of your mouth to realize that, oh my gosh, I'm actually speaking from experience.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm speaking from what I have been living.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes.
17:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think so many times we don't give ourselves enough.
18:01
SPEAKER_02: We never, we don't, we don't give ourselves enough credit for everything that we've lived and experienced and gone through.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: And uh and all of it can help others.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: Right.
18:10
SPEAKER_01: And and I mean, we know this, right?
18:12
SPEAKER_01: Like there's so many times where we think that we don't know, you know, we don't know how to solve a problem, even though we've already gone through it, right?
18:20
SPEAKER_01: But everyone words their their issues in their own words, and sometimes we don't relate until after, like, oh yeah, I went through that.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Right, exactly.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
18:30
SPEAKER_01: Now we kind of talked about, you know, women and you know, feeling unworthy.
18:35
SPEAKER_01: And and like you said, it's pretty common, right?
18:38
SPEAKER_01: Especially when we're entering back into the you know, the workforce after being at home with you know, raising kids.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: Um a lot of times women struggle with like boundaries, right?
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Because they don't want to disappoint, they don't want to like let anyone down, they're they don't want to seem like the you know, right the big head.
18:59
SPEAKER_01: How do you how would you say boundaries have actually allowed you to serve people better rather than less?
19:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh yes, I know, moms.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: We want to do it all, right?
19:09
SPEAKER_02: We want to do it all for our kids, and that transfers into uh wanting to do it all for our clients anytime.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Well, for me, being able to put boundaries on services, on uh, you know, my time gives me the freedom to focus better on what it is that I'm present in or working on at the moment, right?
19:32
SPEAKER_02: So I'm not distracted by um something that might not be today, it might be tomorrow, next week.
19:39
SPEAKER_02: Does that make sense?
19:40
SPEAKER_02: So I don't necessarily time block.
19:43
SPEAKER_02: That's a great technique for staying focused and protecting your time.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I but I can definitely feel more comfortable now.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: And you know, this again, this is something I had to grow into, but saying to say a potential client who wants to get on a on a call, um, saying to them, okay, here's my booking link.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: Uh, pick a time that works for you.
20:06
SPEAKER_02: Uh, and if there isn't one, then we can figure something out.
20:10
SPEAKER_02: But even just the act of making time available on a calendar and blocking things out, whoo, that gave me a little bit of anxiety to begin with, right?
20:19
SPEAKER_02: Because then you're like, oh my gosh, but if they don't book, then maybe I'm not gonna get a client.
20:23
SPEAKER_02: And then, you know, and I kind of really want the client and I want to be able to make them happy, but at the same time, you know, but you're also teaching your future clients how to respect your time and your boundaries.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: So this is yourself.
20:37
SPEAKER_02: This is my process, right?
20:38
SPEAKER_02: This is my process, and this is how I make it work best so that I can sort of give everyone the time that they deserve without yeah, without being overwhelmed and without burning myself out, which is also important.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: Right.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: And and and it go kind of goes both ways.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Your time is precious, but so is your client.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Right.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: And I want to be able to, you know, give time to my family as well and give time to now we're uh college nesters, as I've now heard the term, right?
21:09
SPEAKER_02: Your kids are in college coming back and forth, so you kind of go between full-time parent when they're home, and then then then you just wait for the phone calls when they're not at home, right?
21:18
SPEAKER_02: Right.
21:20
SPEAKER_01: Is that 50 bucks?
21:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I know.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
21:26
SPEAKER_01: Well, enjoy that.
21:27
SPEAKER_01: Enjoy that because I don't know.
21:29
SPEAKER_01: I mean, my kids, so I my two older ones are how old are yours again?
21:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so they're yeah, they're gonna be 25 this September.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: Okay, okay.
21:37
SPEAKER_01: So you're a little you're a little ahead of me.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, she's been out for quite a while now, but he just moved out.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: It'll be a year in September, and it's it's we it's a weird feeling.
21:45
SPEAKER_01: When she moved out, I was looking for every reason for her to come sleep over, right?
21:50
SPEAKER_01: Christmas, you know, your grandfather's a year waiting to come spend the night.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: It was hot in her house, so come be a baby, come stay, you know.
21:57
SPEAKER_01: I was looking for now that they're both.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Gone, I'm like, stay out.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: Do it, right?
22:03
SPEAKER_01: Come over for dinner and then go home.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: Right, right, exactly.
22:07
SPEAKER_01: I do that's awesome.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: At home, but he's you know, he's working full time.
22:11
SPEAKER_01: I hardly ever see him, right?
22:13
SPEAKER_01: So I don't feel like I mean, I'm not empty-nested yet because I still have to focus on when he'll be home, but I get the feeling.
22:21
SPEAKER_01: Now I'm at a point in my life where I look forward to that, right?
22:26
SPEAKER_01: I didn't five years ago.
22:27
SPEAKER_01: Five years ago, I just wasn't ready.
22:29
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, I agree.
22:31
SPEAKER_02: It is it's hard to make that adjustment.
22:33
SPEAKER_02: But then once you're on the other side, it was heartbreaking when my son went to college and he only went 45 minutes away, and then he was home every weekend during it.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: But it was just, I felt like my heart was being pulled out of my chest just because, you know, and my daughter too, when she went to college two years ago, we drove her halfway across the country.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: And I remember leaving her outside her dorm and driving away.
22:54
SPEAKER_02: And I was so upset.
22:56
SPEAKER_02: I just had to drive all the way back to Oklahoma in one shot.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: I I didn't want to stop and stay in a hotel room by the time.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't imagine.
23:02
SPEAKER_01: I couldn't imagine.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: I just, you know, when they were growing up, I prepared them.
23:06
SPEAKER_01: You know, I taught the basics of cooking, I taught them the basics of cleaning, right?
23:11
SPEAKER_01: And I to me, I was like, if they go away to university, they have to know the basics, right?
23:17
SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
23:17
SPEAKER_01: But when the graduation was coming, the high school graduation, I was like, Oh, I hope they don't go away.
23:25
SPEAKER_02: They do come back.
23:26
SPEAKER_02: Moral of the story, they do come back.
23:27
SPEAKER_02: They do come back.
23:29
SPEAKER_02: Also, do start to enjoy your having your time back to yourself, really.
23:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure, for sure.
23:35
SPEAKER_01: And after 20 years, you forgot what that's like.
23:38
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, it's been an adjustment.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, no, yeah, no.
23:42
SPEAKER_02: My husband and I are looking forward to the school year beginning, yeah, once again.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
23:46
SPEAKER_01: I love that for you.
23:47
SPEAKER_01: So, as someone who mentors entrepreneurs, what do you see holding women back from advocating for themselves?
23:54
SPEAKER_01: Like maybe it's pricing their services, saying no, or even just asking.
23:59
SPEAKER_01: We all know asking for help is not easy for women.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: It isn't.
24:04
SPEAKER_02: But I think it's also the best shortcut when uh to starting something successfully and off on the right foot and with support.
24:12
SPEAKER_02: Um, when I thought I thought about starting a personal chef service for six years before I started, a friend of mine introduced me to the idea.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: I did uh I did some I did a few stages, you know, those unpaid internships at restaurants back in my back when I was teaching over the summers, uh, my friend set me up with some and uh we were living in Boston at that point.
24:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, but then you know the idea of personal chefing was becoming a thing.
24:37
SPEAKER_02: So a personal chef works for multiple families, is not a not a private chef who's employed by a single family full-time, right?
24:46
SPEAKER_02: And is there all day doing breakfast, lunch, dinner, all the things.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: Um, I work for multiple families as an independent contractor.
24:53
SPEAKER_02: So my business model is a little bit different than just being employed by one family.
24:57
SPEAKER_02: That would be the difference.
24:58
SPEAKER_02: And uh, but it took me six years, and I was a philosophy major in college and grad school.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I avoided the business building like the plague.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I had good friends that did business, but that was not me.
25:10
SPEAKER_02: I was, you know, I was the teacher, I was the philosopher.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: So uh, you know, when it came to setting up even a simple business model, a service business like a personal chef service, I was like, I've got to get this right the first time around.
25:23
SPEAKER_02: So I found an association, Personal Chefs Network, uh, here in the US, and uh I called the founder and I was like, all right, talk to me.
25:32
SPEAKER_02: What am I gonna get if I join this organization, right?
25:35
SPEAKER_02: What are you, what kind of help and support is available?
25:39
SPEAKER_02: And uh it was fantastic.
25:40
SPEAKER_02: I I joined, I got two huge binders of uh tried and true recipes that would work for personal chefing, right?
25:47
SPEAKER_02: Because you have to be not, you're not serving the dish fresh usually.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh, you are packaging it and storing it even just for reheating later.
25:56
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes it's going in the freezer.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: So there's a different component to cooling and packaging and store.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: So all of that was in the binders um and the basics of the business as well.
26:05
SPEAKER_02: Um, particular information, you know, that would be particular to states like tax laws and that sort of thing.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: It was always recommended, you know, you have to find your own resources for that.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: But the basics of the business were were there, plus access to a numer, a number of um working personal chefs who had uh come from the restaurant industry, um, come from private chefing to do personal chefing, come from catering.
26:29
SPEAKER_02: Um, I spent like two and a half months reading through the forums, staying up late, reading the box, asking all the questions.
26:37
SPEAKER_02: Um, I had no idea about marketing, I had no idea about you know pricing, all of that.
26:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh, so I had this that's so that was one way of go get the support that you need for whatever it is that you're and don't be afraid to ask the questions because really there is no silly question when it comes to trying to set something up like this.
26:58
SPEAKER_02: And thankfully, this was an organization of chefs that were uh very supportive, very encouraging, and uh we're always you know, we we still have each other's backs, um, which is amazing.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: So I would say for uh for women wanting to be entrepreneurs, go find the support that you're looking for.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: Um, because uh we, you know, we want to support each other.
27:22
SPEAKER_02: There, we don't want to be in competition with each other, we want to hold each other up.
27:26
SPEAKER_01: Um, and what was I love that advice.
27:28
SPEAKER_01: That's like really awesome advice.
27:30
SPEAKER_01: Women need to stand together, not compete.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, absolutely.
27:34
SPEAKER_02: And speaking, speaking of that, I am part of a fabulous book collaboration that is the book is launching next Friday in just a week on July 31st.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: Um, if I can mention it, if that's okay.
27:47
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
27:47
SPEAKER_02: It's a fabulous book collaboration all about, and it's called The Power of Her, Courage Calling, and Entrepreneurship.
27:53
SPEAKER_02: So 34 of us have come together to share our stories of taking that leap into entrepreneurship and uh how that's uh how that's affected our lives and the lives of those that we serve.
28:06
SPEAKER_02: So I'm really excited to be yeah, I'm excited for you for sure.
28:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
28:12
SPEAKER_01: Wow, I love that.
28:13
SPEAKER_01: Now, confidence can grow very quietly or very loud, right, in our lives.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:21
SPEAKER_01: Um I so for me it's I I think it's very quiet, and sometimes, you know, I can be a little bit loud, but um sometimes it's like just through everyday choices that we make, and sometimes it's through one dramatic moment, right?
28:39
SPEAKER_01: Like jumping off a plane, right?
28:41
SPEAKER_01: Is a huge it's that's a huge moment, and that's not small, right?
28:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I'd love to know though, what's one small practice or mindset that helps you continue to, you know, in your standing firm, even when you're feeling uncomfortable and maybe a little bit on the nervous side.
29:00
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
29:01
SPEAKER_02: Uh knowing that I think I have to say, if I can say this here, knowing that I've been called, knowing that this is uh personal chefing, bringing joy to people through food, through delicious food, bringing them together around the table, knowing that uh my gifts and my talents that were gifted to me, that that's how I share myself with the world.
29:27
SPEAKER_02: And so to be able to do that is a it's an honor, it's a privilege.
29:32
SPEAKER_02: Um and that even if I'm nervous about uh, you know, an event or about a first service, or I just kind of have to take a deep breath and know that for whatever reason this person has been brought into my life for uh a reason, whether it's for a long term or short term, and I'm there to bring them joy uh and grace through what I prepare for them.
29:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and I believe you 100%, right?
29:58
SPEAKER_01: We are all here to do a service, right?
30:03
SPEAKER_01: And we are we're all called, we're all called to do that at some point in our life, right?
30:09
SPEAKER_01: Some of us go looking for that moment and some of us it just appears for us so weird, right?
30:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I do believe that now.
30:16
SPEAKER_01: If there's a woman listening today, Rebecca, and she's feeling like she's lost her voice, or maybe she never believed she even had a voice or that it mattered, what would you want her to hear from you today?
30:30
SPEAKER_02: I would want her to know that she that she has a purpose in her life that she just needs to be open enough and brave enough to let herself acknowledge it.
30:50
SPEAKER_02: Because every single one of us has a unique purpose, has a unique calling that only we can bring to life, and the world will be lacking if she doesn't recognize those gifts, those talents, those service that only she can bring to us and bring to the world.
31:11
SPEAKER_02: So if not not just for herself, but for the sake of all of us, uh you know, uh take that first brave step and say, okay, and just be open to what my I love that answer.
31:24
SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that because you know, sometimes we don't know it, sometimes we don't we talk ourselves out of it, right?
31:31
SPEAKER_01: The AD committee becomes very loud and shuts that down, right?
31:36
SPEAKER_01: So it's really important to hear it from other women that we're it's okay, right?
31:42
SPEAKER_01: It's okay to take that step if whether it's a big leap or it's just the tiniest baby step possible, but it's okay, right?
31:51
SPEAKER_01: You will move that comfort zone limit just a ton.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
31:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
31:56
SPEAKER_02: I just read this short book called Your First Thought, and I thought it was great.
32:02
SPEAKER_02: I thought it was great, uh, because it really was all about how your first thought, those first thoughts, those are from God, those are from the Holy Spirit.
32:12
SPEAKER_02: But it's when you sit and become fearful, those second, third, fourth, fifth thoughts, you know, the oh, what if, but this, and no, I can't because those are not no, that's the committee.
32:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, exactly.
32:25
SPEAKER_02: That's not what we need to be listening to.
32:28
SPEAKER_02: So even if it does take you six years, you know, to build to step out, and sometimes it is about timing, but uh, you know, follow those nudges, follow those uh those in those first inclinations because that's usually where you are really meant to be.
32:44
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
32:45
SPEAKER_01: So this is like this has been so awesome.
32:47
SPEAKER_01: So I mean, I didn't get to learn about cooking necessarily.
32:52
SPEAKER_01: Not that I mean, not that I need to learn more.
32:54
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's always something to learn.
32:56
SPEAKER_02: There's always, yes.
32:57
SPEAKER_01: There's always something to learn.
32:58
SPEAKER_01: But I want to thank you so much for everything that you shared with us today, your wisdom and and your heart.
33:04
SPEAKER_01: I can feel it that you it's this is your passion, right?
33:08
SPEAKER_01: And it was a huge reminder that confidence isn't about having all the answers.
33:14
SPEAKER_01: It's really, yeah, it's really more about trusting yourself enough to take a seat at the table.
33:20
SPEAKER_01: Yes, use your voice with the intention.
33:23
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
33:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you so much.
33:26
SPEAKER_02: Thank you so much for having me on.
33:28
SPEAKER_02: I uh it this has been a privilege.
33:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thank you.
33:32
SPEAKER_01: If you'd like to connect with Rebecca, learn more about her personal chef services, mentoring, or her upcoming book, we'll include all her information in the show notes.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: And to everyone listening, thank you for spending this time with us.
33:45
SPEAKER_01: If today's conversation resonated with you, I'd love you to share this episode with a woman who needs the reminder that her voice matters.
33:53
SPEAKER_01: If you're finding yourself stuck in self-doubt, overthinking every decision, or feeling disconnected from the confident woman you know is still there, I'd love to invite you to connect with me.
34:03
SPEAKER_01: Through my coaching, I help women reconnect with themselves, quiet the inner noise, and move forward with greater clarity and self-trust.
34:11
SPEAKER_01: You can find all the details in the show notes.
34:14
SPEAKER_01: Until next time, remember, confidence isn't something you wait to find.
34:18
SPEAKER_01: It's something that blooms each time you choose to trust yourself.
34:22
SPEAKER_01: I'm Tina Spolotini, and this has been Confidence in Bloom.
34:26
SPEAKER_01: Take care, keep blooming.
34:29
SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening.
34:30
SPEAKER_00: This show was brought to you by Divas That Care.
34:33
SPEAKER_00: Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divas that care.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.