Latest / MyMaine Birth / 121. MyMaine Birth: The Power of Trusting Yourself More Than the Medical System, Cathy's Birth Center Story

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121. MyMaine Birth: The Power of Trusting Yourself More Than the Medical System, Cathy's Birth Center Story · MyMaine Birth

0:00
Cathy: I think I actually ended up texting her.
0:01
Cathy: It was probably around like four o'clock and I was like hey, like is like is it normal for your water to break?
0:06
Cathy: Are you to lose your mucus plug at like 37 weeks?
0:08
Cathy: She was like, yeah, it can be.
0:10
Cathy: She, you know.
0:11
Cathy: She was like you know, are you feeling like crampy?
0:14
Cathy: And I was like no, I feel totally normal.
0:16
Cathy: Otherwise, she's like is the baby moving?
0:18
Cathy: I was like yep, baby's moving, feels good.
0:20
Cathy: Yep, she's like okay, well, like keep me updated, right, just like go rest.
0:25
Cathy: And just like text me if you have any changes.
0:28
Cathy: And Leanne was actually scheduled to come over that day, the same day we were going to go through like the details of the birth plan.
0:36
Cathy: So like really sit down and and write everything out and like cover all that stuff.
0:40
Cathy: And so she was going to come over, probably like in an hour, it like five o'clock I think.
0:44
Cathy: She was scheduled to come to Popeye and you know she came and she's like how's your, how's your day going?
0:49
Cathy: And I was like good, I think my water broke.
0:50
Cathy: And she's like, oh, do you have contractions?
0:52
Cathy: And I was like no, I feel totally the same other.
0:55
Cathy: Otherwise she's like okay.
0:57
Cathy: So, you know, we sat down and we were reading through the birth plan and I could tell she was watching my like just watching my face a little bit closer than normal.
1:06
Cathy: I was like why are you staring at me like that?
1:07
Cathy: But I think she, you know, she was just like going through things.
1:10
Cathy: And then we got to a page and she's just like flip that page over.
1:13
Cathy: She's like we're going to, we're going to skip that page.
1:15
Cathy: And I was like why?
1:16
Cathy: And she's like you, you don't have time.
1:19
Cathy: And I was like what are you talking about?
1:20
Cathy: She's like you're, you're going to have a baby today.
1:23
Cathy: I was like no, I'm not Right, I was still expecting.
1:26
Cathy: Like like I would have like four more weeks to go.
1:29
Cathy: She's like no, I'm pretty sure.
1:30
Cathy: She's like are you having contractions?
1:31
Cathy: And at that point I was starting to feel like a little bit more crampy, right, and I was like, maybe, like I still didn't really know what to expect.
1:46
Cathy: And she's like yeah, I think you are.
1:47
Cathy: And so both like Leanne and Jarni had said the same thing why don't you rest?
1:49
Cathy: You're probably going to call us at like 2am.
1:50
Cathy: Like things, things are going to get intense.
1:54
Angela: I'm Angela and I'm a certified birth photographer, experienced doula, childbirth educator and your host here on the my Main Birth podcast.
2:02
Angela: This is a space where we share the real-life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine, from our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births.
2:15
Angela: Every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
2:19
Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
2:27
Angela: Welcome back.
2:30
Angela: You're listening to episode 121 of my Main Birth.
2:34
Angela: As a reminder, I share all different types of stories that are submitted to me Hospital births, birth center births, all different types of home births, positive stories, negative stories and everything in between.
2:47
Angela: The only requirement for sharing a birth story on the podcast is that at least one of your birth stories is a Maine birth story.
2:54
Angela: As an added bonus, all of my podcast guests receive a gift certificate for a family adventure photo session on the session day of your choice.
3:04
Angela: I host session days for my podcast guests at iconic locations across Maine throughout the spring, summer and fall, and I have plenty of fall dates still open.
3:14
Angela: So if you're interested in joining the community of Maine moms sharing birth stories on the podcast.
3:20
Angela: You can fill out the form on the podcast page over on my website, mymainbirthcom, or you can always send me a message over on Instagram at mymainbirth.
3:31
Angela: Today's birth story guest is Kathy, and she's here to share all about her first birth, which was at the birth center in down east Maine called Women's First, and also about her current pregnancy and how that's been going All right.
3:49
Angela: Hi Kathy, welcome to my Maine Birth.
3:52
Angela: Hi Angela, to get started, would you share a little bit about you and your family?
4:00
Cathy: Sure, yeah.
4:01
Cathy: So my name is Kathy and I live all the way down east in Lubec with my husband, ian.
4:06
Cathy: Today is actually our eight month wedding anniversary, which is pretty cool, yeah, but we we're college sweethearts, so we've known each other for maybe like 15 years now we live.
4:20
Cathy: We bought his grandparents house when they passed away, so we actually live right down the driveway from where he grew up.
4:25
Cathy: His parents house is like right down the down the road and but, yeah, we live in Lubec on right on the bold coast, so it's really like a beautiful piece of land.
4:34
Cathy: And now we have our son.
4:36
Cathy: He's almost two actually, so he'll be two in September and we're 36 weeks pregnant with our second.
4:43
Angela: So, yeah, we're excited and we're 36 weeks pregnant with our second, so yeah, we're excited.
4:48
Angela: So, to get into your birth stories, would you share about how you found out you were pregnant and like what your thoughts were in choosing your care?
4:55
Cathy: Sure.
4:56
Cathy: So I think Ian and I had started talking maybe it was probably like fall, it must've been 2022 that we were like, okay, are we, are we ready to have kids?
5:05
Cathy: You know, we had been married for like six years together, for like well over 10 and we're like are we, are we gonna do this?
5:12
Cathy: Like next step?
5:12
Cathy: You know, we had always wanted to have at least two kids, but we're like, okay, you know, none of our friends had had kids yet.
5:19
Cathy: So it wasn't really sure that, like, do we want to switch up our lifestyle?
5:23
Cathy: Like go for, for it.
5:23
Cathy: But ultimately, I think we we decided like, let's get through the holidays and then we'll start in the new year.
5:29
Cathy: And, um, I had someone tell me like, oh, if you've been on birth control, it'll take.
5:34
Cathy: It'll take you a long time, right, but no, we got lucky and we got pregnant the first month we tried.
5:40
Cathy: So that was really exciting.
5:41
Cathy: But I remember sharing with Ian like, okay, we're pregnant.
5:59
Cathy: It was like that, like nervous, like oh my gosh, I'm very excited.
6:01
Cathy: But we're totally doing this and I'm like, yeah, we are.
6:02
Cathy: So it was, yeah, it was really way down here, but there are a couple in Machias, which is about 40 minutes for us.
6:08
Cathy: So there's an OB office associated with Downey's Community Hospital and then every day when I was driving to work, there was this small building that had this sign that was like birthing center coming soon and I was like, oh that's, that's intriguing.
6:22
Cathy: So we decided to make an appointment at both places because we weren't really sure like what, where we would vibe better.
6:30
Cathy: And the OB office at the hospital was like very much what you would expect with like a routine, like doctor's visit.
6:38
Cathy: Right Like you come in, they're like do all your paperwork pee in this cup, you know.
6:42
Cathy: Go to the room.
6:43
Cathy: They're like do you have a?
6:45
Cathy: We have a student shadowing today, is that cool?
6:47
Cathy: And I was like, I guess, so you know.
6:49
Cathy: They're like put on your disposable sheet Okay, you're pregnant, yay, bye.
6:53
Cathy: Very like fine.
6:55
Cathy: But like quick, you know.
6:57
Cathy: Just like you're another patient there.
6:58
Cathy: Just like in and out like yep, here you go.
7:01
Cathy: Yeah, you're good, okay, bye, we'll see you in a couple weeks.
7:03
Cathy: And I was like all right, that's cool, I guess, but yeah.
7:07
Cathy: So then we made an appointment with this midwife who was having this birthing center open up later that fall and it was just a different experience, right, like hi, who are you?
7:16
Cathy: Congratulations, like you're pregnant, like let's talk about that, are you excited, you know?
7:20
Cathy: And then just like, tell me about you, tell me about your husband, like what is your guys' life like?
7:25
Cathy: And this is my story and like my background, it just felt so different and it was just like, okay, yeah, this is the been a labor and delivery nurse for years, both like in a hospital setting but also many home births.
7:38
Cathy: And you know we were.
7:47
Cathy: We were definitely sure we didn't want to do a home birth, but we're like not vibing with hospitals.
7:51
Cathy: So this just felt like the perfect in between for us that she was going to open this birth center and it was so close to the hospital it's like a mile away.
8:00
Cathy: So I think if there was a major emergency we'd probably have to go to Bangor anyway, but still, that's reassuring that we're close enough to our local hospital.
8:08
Cathy: So, yeah, we, we ended up going with the midwife and that was really great.
8:14
Cathy: We also decided to hire a doula, I think just because, like we have no baby, we had like no baby experience or like pregnancy experience at all, and so I heard about doulas.
8:26
Cathy: Ian at first was like, oh, like a doula.
8:28
Cathy: That's like another expense and I was like I know but I think it's just like you know I know like I'm a pretty shy, introverted person and so, like I knew I didn't want to have this like team of people in my birthing room but I was like if I have one person that I can like trust on that I know will support you and supporting me, it just like felt like that could be like just a helpful thing for us to have.
8:50
Cathy: So we hired Leanne from Adventure Waits Birth Services and she's awesome, she's fantastic.
8:58
Cathy: We knew her husband a little bit.
8:59
Cathy: He was a graduate student when we were undergrads and then Ian and him had worked at Baxter State Park together when they were both there.
9:07
Cathy: So we knew their family a little bit, knew that they kind of like had similar interests.
9:12
Cathy: You know they have four wonderful little boys and so I didn't know Leanne that much.
9:15
Cathy: But you know we got time, we had that time to get to know her and that was that was really exciting too.
9:21
Angela: Awesome, oh my gosh.
9:22
Angela: So do you care to share a little bit more about your thoughts on, like not wanting to have a home birth and like why, like, the birthing center seemed like such a great option for you?
9:31
Cathy: Yeah.
9:32
Cathy: So I think, like you know, a home birth just seems it just felt a little intimidating for us.
9:36
Cathy: It's not, you know, we are, we're like all the way down here in Lubeb, we're pretty far away from everything.
9:42
Cathy: So it was like, okay, well, if something goes wrong, like we're all you know, not that we'd be by ourselves, we would have a midwife here, you know she could come here and stuff, but just felt like it, I don't know, it just didn't like that.
9:54
Cathy: We were just like I don't know, we don't really feel totally comfortable with a home birth and the birth center it just felt like it had all the equipment ready to go.
10:02
Cathy: It was right there, she that was the space that she was building.
10:06
Cathy: That was still comfortable, still super private, right, like it was just her.
10:10
Cathy: She has one nurse assistant that helps her, and then it ended up being Leanne with us.
10:14
Cathy: So still there's only three people that we were going to have there.
10:17
Cathy: It's not like a bunch of people would come in and intrude your space.
10:20
Cathy: It's still your private space and it was a little bit less rural, you know, so like if something happened, we could get help a little bit faster, which felt good.
10:31
Angela: So how was your pregnancy looking?
10:34
Angela: How are you feeling throughout that pregnancy?
10:43
Cathy: Yeah.
10:43
Cathy: So I got nauseous, like pretty much right away, and I was like, okay, that that's normal, right, you know?
10:45
Cathy: I was like, okay, everyone gets right, you know.
10:46
Cathy: I was like, okay, everyone gets nauseous.
10:46
Cathy: This is part about being pregnant.
10:48
Cathy: And Ian was like, are you sure this is normal?
10:51
Cathy: Because, like I was not eating, like not drinking, like I, I was struggling pretty quick, like it was just very intense, and I was like, yeah, this is, this is normal, this is what it means to be pregnant in the first trimester.
11:04
Cathy: And he was like I really think you should like highlight this on your next, you know, appointment.
11:09
Cathy: And he couldn't go to a lot of the appointments, so he's like I really need you to advocate about this when you go.
11:15
Cathy: And so I ended up talking to Johnny and she was like, okay, yeah, this sounds like a little bit more like I was throwing up multiple times, like all day, didn't matter morning, afternoon, evening, like it was just, you know, I was constantly throwing up, couldn't eat, wasn't really drinking.
11:31
Cathy: And so she was like, yeah, this isn't great.
11:33
Cathy: You know, we tried some things like the B6 and Unisum and all those other things that they, you know, you can give a, give it a go, but nothing was really helping.
11:42
Cathy: So she did ask if I wanted to try Zofran it's a prescription you can get and I did end up after a while, I think.
11:49
Cathy: I tried not to for a long time but I was like, okay, I'll just, I'll go for it.
11:53
Cathy: And that helped with the vomiting.
11:57
Cathy: I did stop throwing up, but I always still felt nauseous, like from the day I found out to the day that kid came out.
12:06
Cathy: I it never went away.
12:08
Cathy: People were like, oh, you'll start to feel better soon, that placenta will kick in, and it never did or it just didn't change.
12:15
Cathy: So that was intense and I think, just like not having like the nutrients that you, that you think you're going to get throughout the journey.
12:24
Cathy: And then to like the mental game you know I was so used to being hiking and working out and getting and I couldn't do the things that I envisioned that I would do still while being pregnant.
12:35
Cathy: So that was really hard and definitely made me not love being pregnant.
12:41
Cathy: To be honest, it's not something like if people are like, oh, do you like it?
12:44
Cathy: I'm like not really.
12:45
Cathy: But besides that, the the pregnancy was great in the sense.
12:51
Cathy: Like you know, everything else was very healthy and normal.
12:54
Cathy: Um, johnny, uh, she was able to do, you know, in in-house labs and ultrasounds, so you know I opted for things that you might routinely get.
13:04
Cathy: So, like we did the blood test for the genetic screening, we had the anatomy scan.
13:11
Cathy: Probably it must have been around like 22 weeks.
13:14
Cathy: I feel like Everything was great there, that everything baby was growing.
13:19
Cathy: So even though I was like losing weight, baby was fine.
13:23
Angela: So that was really okay though I was like losing weight baby was fine, so that was really okay.
13:29
Angela: Um, so, were you going to Ellsworth?
13:30
Cathy: for where were you going for your test?
13:31
Cathy: No, I could do.
13:31
Cathy: I could do almost everything in house with Jarni, so I just did pretty much everything in Machias.
13:36
Cathy: For the anatomy scan, I had to go to the hospital in Machias.
13:39
Cathy: So that's the one thing that, yeah, I had to go there.
13:42
Cathy: Um, but like, yeah, I could do a glucose test.
13:46
Cathy: I didn't have to take the or drink the drink I guess that everyone drinks.
13:49
Cathy: I did like this alternative.
13:51
Cathy: I think I had like grape juice and a banana or something, so that was pretty nice.
13:55
Cathy: So I don't know, everyone says it's really that juice is gross, so I didn't, but I didn't have to do that, so that was lucky.
14:08
Cathy: Um, I did get a R rogam shot just because of my blood type and because there could be um complications with the babies, but besides that everything was totally normal.
14:12
Cathy: You know, we chose to find out the sex.
14:14
Cathy: He was a little boy, which we were gonna be excited either way, but that was cool.
14:18
Cathy: And then also, like, with Leanne, we, you know she was coming to meet with us, you know, or we'd go hiking or whatever we were up for, and she just took time to like get to know us as our doula and like what our vision was, and we did a birthing like class with her, which was really helpful because, again, like we just didn't have a lot of experience or friends to kind of rely on.
14:42
Cathy: So that was just a wonderful experience all around there.
14:46
Angela: That sounds amazing.
14:47
Angela: So how are things looking like in those last final weeks and then days leading up to when your labor started?
14:55
Cathy: Yeah.
14:56
Cathy: So everyone had told me to add like 10 days to whatever my due date was.
15:01
Cathy: So I was like I think we were due the 27th of September.
15:06
Cathy: So I was like, oh, I'm going to have an October baby, which is great.
15:09
Cathy: So I was like, oh, I'm gonna have an October baby, which is great.
15:14
Cathy: Fall, that sounds perfect.
15:14
Cathy: But um, at 37 weeks and four days is when I went into labor, so a lot earlier than I was expecting, it was September 10th.
15:20
Cathy: Because I was like, oh, yeah, I'll have like four more weeks or whatever.
15:24
Cathy: But I remember that day, like I woke up and I was feeling good, like I had high energy.
15:28
Cathy: I was like, oh, this isn't normal, but I feel great.
15:30
Cathy: I actually remember my mother-in-law had been asking me to pick peas from the garden for like weeks and I was like I will do it.
15:38
Cathy: But that morning I was like I'm going to do it, like I finally feel good enough to go do this very small task, but like still felt good.
15:45
Cathy: And then I remember, by the time I had gotten fully ready, my husband and her had walked in and they had already.
15:50
Cathy: They had this big bowl of peas and I was like, oh, no, I was going to do that today, like such a small thing, but they're like these are really past due.
15:58
Cathy: You should have done it a while ago.
15:59
Cathy: And I was like I know I'm so sorry, but we ended up going for a hike that afternoon.
16:05
Cathy: It was great, just down to a beach and we hung out on the beach the whole time.
16:12
Cathy: And then we got home, it was probably like three, three thirty, I think.
16:15
Cathy: I told my husband, ok, I'm going to hop in the shower.
16:17
Cathy: And he's like oh, do you want me to join?
16:18
Cathy: And I was like sure, that sounds great.
16:20
Cathy: So we were.
16:21
Cathy: When we were intimate in the shower, I definitely felt like this extra gush.
16:25
Cathy: I was like huh, doesn't normally happen.
16:27
Cathy: And I was was like I wonder if that was my water breaking.
16:30
Cathy: But I was like no, I'm only like 37 weeks, so you know.
16:33
Cathy: He hopped out and I stayed in to like wash my hair or whatever, and within a couple of minutes I was like I lost what.
16:40
Cathy: I was like this has to be my mucus plug, right?
16:43
Cathy: I was like I don't know.
16:44
Cathy: I called him back.
16:45
Cathy: I was like, yeah, come back.
16:46
Cathy: And he was like yeah, what I'm like holding it out in my hand outside of the shower curtain and he's like what do you, what do you want me to do with that?
16:53
Cathy: And I was like do you think this is a mucus plug?
16:55
Cathy: Like do you think that's what this is?
16:56
Cathy: And he's like I don't know, google it.
17:08
Cathy: And I was like okay, I'll just call J your water to break.
17:11
Cathy: Are you to lose your mucus plug at like 37 weeks?
17:13
Cathy: She was like yeah, it can be.
17:15
Cathy: She, you know.
17:16
Cathy: She was like you know, are you feeling like crampy?
17:19
Cathy: And I was like no, I feel totally normal.
17:21
Cathy: Otherwise, she's like is the baby moving?
17:23
Cathy: I was like yep, baby's moving, feels good.
17:25
Cathy: Yep, she's like okay, well, like keep me updated, right, just like go rest and just like text me if you have any changes.
17:33
Cathy: And um, leanne was actually scheduled to come over that day.
17:37
Cathy: The same day we were going to go through like the details of the birth plan, so like really sit down and and write everything out and like cover all that stuff.
17:45
Cathy: And so she was going to come over probably like in an hour.
17:48
Cathy: It was like five o' I think she was scheduled to come to Popeye and you know she came and she's like how's your day going?
17:54
Cathy: And I was like good, I think my water broke.
17:55
Cathy: And she's like oh, do you have contractions?
17:57
Cathy: And I was like, no, I feel totally the same.
18:00
Cathy: Otherwise, she's like okay, so you know, we was just like going through things.
18:15
Cathy: And then we got to a page and she's just like flip that page over.
18:18
Cathy: She's like we're going to, we're going to skip that page.
18:20
Cathy: And I was like why?
18:21
Cathy: And she's like you, you don't have time.
18:27
Cathy: And I was like no, I'm not right, I was still expecting, like like I would have like four more weeks to go.
18:34
Cathy: She's like no, I'm pretty sure.
18:35
Cathy: She's like are you having contractions?
18:36
Cathy: And at that point I was starting to feel like a little bit more crampy, right, I was like maybe, like I still didn't really know what to expect.
18:45
Cathy: And she's like yeah, I think you are.
18:47
Cathy: And so both like Leanne and Jarn Johnny, had said the same thing.
18:51
Cathy: Why don't you rest?
18:52
Cathy: You're probably going to call us at like 2 am.
18:54
Cathy: Like things, things are going to get intense.
18:57
Cathy: And I was like okay, and I remember like, right before Leanne left, she turned to Ian.
19:02
Cathy: She's like do you have a car seat in your car?
19:04
Cathy: And he's like no, it's in the box.
19:05
Cathy: He like in the garage.
19:15
Cathy: She's like, let me help you, let me help you put that in the car, but where I go, like you're gonna need that.
19:18
Cathy: And we were both, like, I think, in denial for sure that we were about to have this baby that day.
19:20
Cathy: But yeah, she probably left at about like 6, 6, 30 and by eight o'clock I had called Jarni and was like, yeah, our contractions are five minutes apart and they they're like intense like I think actually my husband called because like I was not talking through them.
19:33
Cathy: So it went from like nothing to like okay, like yeah, okay, this is, this is labor, I guess.
19:39
Cathy: So we she was like, yeah, come on in.
19:42
Cathy: So we probably got to Machias a little after nine and what I kind of expected like everything from there field cut, like kind of it's like a blur a little bit, because exactly what I expected happened is like I just like went deep in right, like I like closed my eyes and like shut everyone out which is why it was so great to have like Leanne, you know to like help support my husband, cause, like I just like was not talking to anyone, I was like ignoring everyone because of the contractions were so close and just coming so fast.
20:14
Cathy: It was like really intense.
20:15
Cathy: I was like, wow, I just like couldn't talk.
20:18
Cathy: I could remember them like asking me to do things.
20:19
Cathy: I just like straight up ignored them, which I felt kind of bad about.
20:24
Cathy: But eventually someone was like hey, like do you want to try the tub?
20:28
Cathy: And I was like hey, like do you want to try the tub?
20:37
Cathy: And I was like, yeah, okay, I, I do remember that is something I thought would sound really great.
20:39
Cathy: It was so hot, I hated it.
20:40
Cathy: It was just like it felt like a, like a really big hot tub.
20:41
Cathy: I was like, why is this water so hot?
20:42
Cathy: I tried to stay in there for a little bit, but eventually I got out and yeah, I don't really remember like what happened in between there, but then I ended up like laying on the bed, kind of on one of my sides, and that was the position that I ultimately gave birth in.
20:58
Cathy: I remember like one of my legs was like elevated and it was getting so tired.
21:03
Cathy: I was like I need someone to hold this leg, but I never couldn't like speak that out loud to anyone, right, you know.
21:12
Cathy: So it was just like, just like, okay, I'm just like.
21:13
Cathy: But eventually I think Leanne like came under and was supporting me there, which was really great.
21:16
Cathy: She just knew what I needed.
21:18
Cathy: And I think, like I only really remember communicating with everyone once, like I I felt like someone was like pulling me and like pulling the opening, and I was like you guys have to stop touching me and like they're all like no one is, literally no one is touching you.
21:30
Cathy: And I was like no, you're like, you're like stretching and it hurts.
21:33
Cathy: I don't like that.
21:34
Cathy: And they're like their hands are out there, like literally no one is touching you, that is just you are stretching on your own.
21:40
Cathy: We know it's not great.
21:52
Cathy: Remember, like, at once I started pushing, I could remember him like coming really close, like, and then I would just like hold him there because if I didn't, he'd like suck, suck back up.
21:57
Cathy: You know like.
21:58
Cathy: So it felt like I was like oh, he's pushing, he's coming, he's coming.
22:00
Cathy: And then, like, if I relaxed, I felt like he was just like it sucked right back up.
22:04
Cathy: I was like no one ever told me that that would happen, so I would just hold him.
22:07
Cathy: And Johnny's like Kathy, kathy, you have to like, you have to like let go, you have to breathe.
22:11
Cathy: And I was like, oh, I don't want to, I need him to come out.
22:15
Cathy: And eventually, I think it was about like 1145.
22:18
Cathy: Someone was like, oh, you're doing good, you know you've only been here for three hours, but you're like, you're getting really close.
22:24
Cathy: And I remember thinking like, oh, I want to push so hard because for some reason I just like was convinced I didn't want to have a baby on 9-11, which you know, so I was just minutes away.
22:34
Cathy: But he did come, like just a couple minutes after midnight.
22:38
Cathy: So we did ultimately have him on 9-11, which is fine, that's, it's totally okay.
22:43
Cathy: But I remember pushing like I can do this, he'll come out before.
22:46
Cathy: Then Didn't make it, but so it was pretty quick, quick like we got there at nine o'clock and he was born right at midnight.
22:54
Cathy: So it was very fast and intense and everything kind of felt like a blur to me in the moment because I was just like totally not expecting to have a baby.
23:03
Cathy: But yeah, I mean after that I don't remember birthing the placenta, it must've just came.
23:10
Cathy: I remember someone asking if I wanted it and I was like, nope, I don't need it.
23:15
Cathy: And they just had put him like right on my chest, and so we just hung out like that for a while and then eventually cut the cord a little bit later.
23:22
Cathy: So it was just like quick interview, I feel like, but but good, it was.
23:28
Cathy: Positive, I feel like, but but good it was positive.
23:30
Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh.
23:31
Angela: So how was your postpartum?
23:34
Angela: How was like?
23:35
Angela: How long did you stay at the birth center for?
23:36
Cathy: Yeah, so I we didn't stay very long.
23:39
Cathy: I was pretty much ready to go, probably around like three, three, 30 in the morning, and they were like, yeah, you're good, baby's good, they did all the measurements.
23:47
Cathy: Um, my husband was like I don't want to, I don't want to drive in the dark, and so he was like I want to wait until it gets light out, and I was like I don't want to wait, I want to go home, right, and so I think we left right around four and got home, you know, close to five, but so we didn't stay there very long and postpartum was okay, had, um, high bilirubin levels, so that's like when you're concerned about jaundice.
24:13
Cathy: So we were going back and forth like every day to the machias hospital for them to like test his levels to make sure that it was going to become like that they would get low enough.
24:24
Cathy: It was really confusing, though, because the hospital was like no, you have to go to your pediatrician, and the pediatrician was like no, you have to go to the hospital.
24:31
Cathy: And we were the communication was very bad and we were just like going to multiple places and everyone's like who are you, why are you here?
24:40
Cathy: And we're like someone told us to come right.
24:42
Cathy: And so, as new parents who also like, were maybe a little less prepared than we should have been, we were not ready for the baby yet.
24:50
Cathy: We just felt.
24:51
Cathy: We just felt like it would, just felt very chaotic, like we weren't getting clear answers.
24:55
Cathy: We were like how long do we have to do this for?
24:57
Cathy: And no one was really communicating that to us.
24:59
Cathy: But after about, like I think, a week and a half, his levels had come far enough down that we didn't have to keep going to the hospital, so that was great.
25:08
Cathy: He wasn't the best sleeper, but I think that's what should be expected.
25:16
Cathy: Eventually, once I was up and moving, we were able to do a lot of mini walks outside while he was contact napping, so that was pretty great.
25:23
Cathy: We breastfed and that went pretty good.
25:27
Cathy: It was a much shorter time frame than I thought.
25:31
Cathy: I thought I would, you know, do it for a couple, like at least two years, but like around a year he was like no, yeah, I'm just not really into this anymore, mom, which was, I guess, okay.
25:41
Cathy: He had a lot of teeth by that point, so I was kind of relieved to be like okay, I guess that's pretty good.
25:51
Cathy: Pumping was a little bit hard for me.
25:52
Cathy: I ended up having high lipase, which I don't know if a lot of people like do have that or not, but it's basically when your milk turns to have this like soapy or metallic taste, it's fine, like in theory, the baby can drink it.
26:06
Cathy: They just don't want to because it doesn't taste good.
26:10
Cathy: It they just don't want to because it doesn't taste good.
26:14
Cathy: And I didn't, you know, I didn't know that until it was like, oh, I'm gonna go back to work in a week, why don't we try a bottle, right?
26:18
Cathy: And so then I was like, wow, he's really rejecting bottles.
26:22
Cathy: And we tried like all different types of bottles until finally I like tried the milk and I was like, yeah, well, this tastes disgusting.
26:28
Cathy: I was like, no wonder he doesn't want to drink it.
26:32
Cathy: And it's just that any like we found out through like just like a series of tests, that like after 12 hours that that so be metallic taste would like form in my milk.
26:41
Cathy: So pretty much everything that I had stored he wasn't going to drink, which was really a bummer.
26:47
Cathy: Because then I was like, okay, well, now I have to go back to work and we had this nice supply, but we can't really use it.
26:54
Cathy: I mean, we did use it for like baths, like if he had a rash I'd put some in the bath, but besides that he wasn't really drinking it.
27:01
Cathy: So that complicated things from like with pumping, because then you can kind of get rid of the taste if you scald your milk, which is a little bit of a bummer.
27:11
Cathy: But just added this whole extra step through that process.
27:16
Cathy: And then I also got mastitis twice, which was a little unfortunate, and I think like the first time they gave me some antibiotics for it and they're like take these for 12, you know, 12 or 14 days.
27:27
Cathy: And after five I was like, well, it's gone, I don't have to take these antibiotics anymore.
27:32
Cathy: They were making me like super nauseous as well.
27:35
Cathy: So it's like bringing back all these memories.
27:36
Cathy: I was like I'm just going to stop taking this.
27:38
Cathy: And then it like came right back.
27:39
Cathy: So they're like did you take it for 14 days?
27:42
Cathy: I was like no, and they're like, why don't you try again?
27:44
Cathy: So that was, that was fine, but I was able to kick it, I think after the second time.
27:49
Cathy: But besides that, yeah, have you know, perfectly healthy two year old.
28:09
Cathy: So he's doing pretty great.
28:13
Angela: Awesome.
28:13
Angela: So how did you find out you were pregnant for the second time?
28:18
Cathy: Yeah, so definitely After, I would say, you know, after I always tell people after the first pregnancy I was like I'm never gonna be pregnant again.
28:26
Cathy: It was just like so hard to be nauseous for so long.
28:30
Cathy: I was like I always say like if I could go through labor again, fine, that was.
28:34
Cathy: That was so intense, but it only lasted a few hours compared to being so nauseous, like that mental and physical drain, for like months on end.
28:43
Cathy: It's really hard.
28:45
Cathy: But, like everyone was like well, you always wanted to and maybe it'll be different.
28:49
Cathy: And I was like, okay, yeah, my first kid is so darn cute.
28:51
Cathy: So I was like maybe it will be different.
28:54
Cathy: So my husband and I were like, okay, well, like let's try it.
29:00
Cathy: And we were pretty lucky again, I think it took us about three months to get pregnant this time and we wanted, you know, we were like, oh, if we're going to do it, we want them to be pretty close in age.
29:08
Cathy: So we were pretty ready to start trying, yeah, and so I think we found out in right after Thanksgiving last year and, for care, we decided, you know, we liked it.
29:21
Cathy: So we went with again, we have Leanne as our doula this time around and yeah, and we're using Women's First and Jarni again in the triathletes.
29:34
Angela: So we're kind of same care routine there Awesome.
29:36
Angela: So how has your pregnancy been going?
29:37
Angela: Are you as nauseous as the first time?
29:39
Cathy: so I was definitely as nauseous in the beginning, actually like even worse.
29:45
Cathy: It felt like, um, like nothing helped.
29:48
Cathy: Like I got the Zofran, like almost right away this time, because I started feeling nauseous, was like oh my gosh, here we go again.
29:55
Cathy: And then I tried some other prescription I actually don't even remember the name of it because the zofran was not working but that made me feel like super jittery.
30:03
Cathy: So I was like I don't, I don't like this at all.
30:06
Cathy: But yeah, like I was not able to have like any food or water and I actually had to go get IV fluids a couple times for this, for this pregnancy, just like I was just so dehydrated, like you know, I was at the point where I was just throwing up.
30:19
Cathy: Nothing like still throwing up, but like there was, I'm past the bile, like you know, it was just going through the motions.
30:26
Cathy: It was so hard, and I mean this time it was even more hard because now we have, you know, like a 16 month old who's hitting that point where they're like mama, mama, you know ready.
30:36
Cathy: And it's hard to explain where they're like mama, mama, you know ready.
30:38
Cathy: And it's hard to explain to some little baby why mama is just going to lay on the bathroom floor for hours all day, right, and luckily my husband's a superstar goes to work all day, comes home, does all the child care, you know, make sure he's fed and put to bed all while the kid is shouting for mama and then, you know, feeds me and I throw it up, just like the perfect husband to take care of.
31:02
Cathy: But it was.
31:03
Cathy: It was hard.
31:04
Cathy: I mean, we definitely both.
31:05
Cathy: I could neither of us had vocalized it out loud, but I definitely could see that both of us were like did we make a mistake?
31:12
Cathy: You know, like we had this perfect little family and now we are just like struggling so hard and we're like you know, not that this baby is not wanted, like we want it more than anything.
31:24
Cathy: But it was definitely like physically, mentally, like okay, this could be like another 200, you know a long time.
31:32
Cathy: So I skipped out on a lot of things in the beginning, like didn't do blood testing or genetic testing.
31:38
Cathy: So I was like there's no way someone's going to like draw my blood right now, like that would be, you know.
31:43
Cathy: So didn't do anything like that.
31:44
Cathy: Luckily, this time around around 21 weeks, I started to feel better.
31:49
Cathy: I was like, oh my God, thank goodness Cause I was like I don't think you know, with Nate it lasted the entire time.
31:55
Cathy: So this time I was like, okay, maybe, maybe things are turning around.
32:00
Cathy: And now, at 36 weeks, I am totally like eating normal.
32:04
Cathy: I actually feel like a normal, like, yeah, I could eat for two kind of mama, which is totally great.
32:10
Cathy: So even though I was, it was much more intense for that first trimester and a little bit into the second more intense for that first trimester and a little bit into the second.
32:20
Cathy: It's it ended this time around.
32:21
Cathy: So that felt really really great, yeah, and so then the rest of the pregnancy has been okay.
32:25
Cathy: You know, we found out the sex again.
32:27
Cathy: This time it's a baby girl, so we're really excited about that.
32:30
Cathy: So we'll have one of each, which is super awesome.
32:33
Cathy: But, um, the the anatomy scan popped up a couple things that had like kept us on like an interesting journey.
32:40
Cathy: So the first thing that it popped up was that she was really really tiny, so less than 10, which I guess is very like, puts you into like a concerning level.
32:50
Cathy: But it also popped up that she had this like um thick chest wall, which no one really explained to me.
32:57
Cathy: But I, when I went back to like look at the report, they had labeled it as high drops, which I had to Google.
33:02
Cathy: But that's something where you can have like excessive fluid that accumulates in your body or in the baby's body and that can lead to like complications and things.
33:11
Cathy: So we got referred to for a follow up at Northern Light in Bangor.
33:15
Cathy: So we went there.
33:17
Cathy: Um, luckily they found no signs of the high drops.
33:20
Cathy: So that was like totally cool.
33:22
Cathy: Um, it was just like one of those things where you're like stressing the whole time on the two and a half hour drive to Bangor and like the week leading up to it like oh my gosh, you know.
33:30
Cathy: No one really told me what this means.
33:32
Cathy: Like am I going to have to like change?
33:38
Cathy: You know, my whole you know.
33:39
Cathy: But that was fine.
33:40
Cathy: But the baby's still measuring about two, two percent is what that was where she was.
33:42
Cathy: So so the thought that she's just concerning for IGR or like a growth restriction, she's just not measuring close to her gestational age.
33:50
Cathy: And then also then when I was in Bangor, they were like oh well, we're seeing some weird shadow on her heart and I was like cool.
33:59
Cathy: So then we got referred to the pediatric cardiologist so we had to go for another follow-up to Bangor and that that all worked itself out that she has like two small VSDs which are ventricles, septical defects but they're like these tiny little pinholes in her heart but they were like it's likely that they'll just close on their own.
34:22
Cathy: And the recommendation is there, like after her birth, like maybe at six weeks you would go in and get them checked if the um pediatrician hears anything interesting on her heart.
34:32
Cathy: But likely, like many kids have that, and it just closes on its own and so that that's not a big deal.
34:38
Cathy: But because of her small size, the Bangor was like, yeah, we want to do follow-ups.
34:45
Cathy: They wanted to do like a weekly growth scan no, bi-weekly, I think, is what they said for to just check her like size and weight.
34:54
Cathy: And they wanted to do twice a week like a biophysical profile and doppler ultrasound, which I was like, oh, that's so, that's a lot.
35:04
Cathy: And they're like, yeah, we need to check like movement and breathing and heart rate and fluid levels, and I was like, okay, and I was like and I have to come to Bangor, because I was like coming to Bangor twice a week is like it's a five-hour round trip for me.
35:16
Cathy: So I was like that's not like totally, a week is like it's a five hour round trip for me.
35:18
Cathy: So I was like that's not like totally feasible.
35:19
Cathy: But once I talked to my midwife, charney, she was like, yeah, no, you, you don't have to go to Bangor for that.
35:24
Cathy: I was like, okay, thank gosh.
35:25
Cathy: And she, you know, I was like I personally was like you know, I felt this.
35:30
Cathy: The baby's movement, you know, has always been like super active.
35:34
Cathy: And I was like, personally, I was like, yeah, she's small, but like doesn't that make sense?
35:39
Cathy: Like I had no nutrients for like the whole first trimester, right, like I was literally throwing up every day all the time.
35:47
Cathy: There was nothing there, right.
35:49
Cathy: And now I'm a small person and so is my husband and so was our first baby.
35:53
Cathy: So I was like let's like give her time to grow Right.
35:56
Cathy: But my midwife still was like recommended that I would go to the hospital here for bi-weekly checkups.
36:02
Cathy: So I did that in June and July.
36:05
Cathy: So in June she was still around like 4%, thought, all the way up to 10.
36:10
Cathy: So I was like, okay, yeah, guys, she's growing Right.
36:12
Cathy: And in July she went from 10 to 16%.
36:16
Cathy: So she's still really small.
36:17
Cathy: But the last one, which was maybe two weeks ago, she was about five ounces.
36:21
Cathy: So I was like that feels great.
36:22
Cathy: I still have a couple weeks to go right.
36:24
Cathy: And, like I said, I think Nate was six ounces and three when he was, when he was born.
36:30
Cathy: So I was like okay, five doesn't feel that far off.
36:33
Cathy: So at this point I feel like I've felt like this for a while but I've kind of like I've I canceled my last like biweekly check.
36:40
Cathy: Well, they were supposed to start weekly and I was like I'm done, I'm done doing all of these.
36:44
Cathy: You know, it's like that little bit of like I had to build up the enough confidence to be like, no, I trust I can feel my baby and I feel good, and like I know that it was just like it took her.
36:56
Cathy: She was just like a late bloomer on growth.
36:58
Cathy: Like I was like it took a while, it wasn't giving her the nutrients she wanted and so and I just felt like it was just not necessary to go get these like 15, 20 minute ultrasounds every week.
37:09
Cathy: I was like I, I'm like I'm not going to change my plan, like right, like I was like is that cool?
37:14
Cathy: And my midwife is like if that's what you want to do, then that's me.
37:17
Cathy: So I think we're just going to kind of hang in there.
37:18
Cathy: Maybe we'll do one more as it gets a little bit closer, we'll see.
37:22
Cathy: Like I said, we're at 30, we're 36 weeks now.
37:26
Cathy: So she comes early, like her brother.
37:28
Cathy: She could be here in a week or we could have a couple of weeks to go.
37:33
Cathy: She wants to stay in there and grow.
37:34
Cathy: Yeah, it's been like an interesting pregnancy.
37:35
Cathy: I just feel like there has been like more cause for alarm than necessary, right, like you know, and it's hard sometimes to put your not to like put your foot down, but to be like confident enough to say like no, like I'm trusting my own intuition in this, because people do make you feel like you have to go get this extra appointment or follow up, and so it took me a while, but I'm at that point now that I'm like no, I really trust, I'm trusting myself, and so, like that's what that's like, just like sending the positive vibes.
38:06
Cathy: I feel good with it.
38:07
Cathy: I feel good with those decisions.
38:08
Cathy: It just took me a little extra long to get there.
38:11
Angela: I think that is amazing, kathy.
38:13
Angela: And yeah, it really is just like tuning into your own intuition, because every you know the standard of care is all the same, but each person is not the same.
38:22
Angela: Each person is different, each situation is different, each pregnancy and baby is different.
38:26
Angela: And, yeah, just tuning into what is right for you in each pregnancy is so important.
38:31
Angela: And, yeah, it can definitely be challenging within the system navigating all that, yeah and wow, oh my gosh.
38:40
Angela: So last time you had your baby at 37 weeks.
38:43
Angela: So now you're like I could have a baby in a week, but it also could be like five weeks.
38:48
Cathy: I know Exactly.
38:49
Cathy: So we're just like in that really fun waiting game.
38:52
Cathy: We're definitely like overly prepared this time, because we were just like so underprepared last time, because we're like, oh, we have so much time.
38:59
Cathy: So now I'm like, okay, well, I think I did everything that I do, so now we're just like hanging out just waiting to see how it goes.
39:06
Cathy: But it's like a little fun adventure there.
39:09
Angela: Yeah, oh my gosh.
39:10
Angela: The most fun adventure for sure.
39:12
Angela: Yeah, at this point, as a final question, if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what is one of the biggest things you'd want to share?
39:26
Cathy: yeah, I think the biggest thing is, like, before getting pregnant, even the first time, it was just like I had this vision of like this will be what pregnancy is like.
39:34
Cathy: Like I'm going to eat all this like nutritious food.
39:37
Cathy: I'm going to keep working out, I'm going to do, I'm going to eat all this like nutritious food.
39:39
Cathy: I'm going to keep working out, I'm going to do yoga, I'm going to go hiking.
39:41
Cathy: And for me it was like I don't want to say like a picture perfect pregnancy, but like what's portrayed on like social media sometimes or in movies, right, and all I could do is what felt like was just like struggle to the next day.
39:53
Cathy: And so I think it took me a while to like not be so hard on myself, to like not compare my journey to somebody else's, especially like a media influenced kind of journey, and so if you're a mama, that's like feeling that way, don't be rough on yourself, right?
40:10
Cathy: Like be like you know what.
40:11
Cathy: No, I'm doing exactly what I need to do for my baby.
40:15
Cathy: If we will be fine, it's a journey.
40:18
Cathy: It might be really, really hard, like it.
40:20
Cathy: Definitely there were mentally hard, very challenging days, but like take what you need and turn off the other stuff, right.
40:28
Cathy: So, like, really just focus on yourself.
40:30
Cathy: But like all you do, to lay in bed for 14 hours that day, that was fine, that's great.
40:35
Cathy: You know that's what you needed that day, and it took me a while to kind of like get to that point that I was like this is exactly what I need to be doing right now, and it's okay that I'm not like super fit, you know, super awesome mom right now, because I'm still raising a really great, healthy baby and that's what matters.
40:51
Cathy: So, yeah, I would definitely say that to parents.
40:54
Cathy: I would also suggest, as just a side note, just in case you happen to be a mama that has the high life is maybe just check your breast milk, like not the week before you have to go back to work, you know, just like maybe pull one out of the freezer and see if your baby takes the bottle a little bit earlier.
41:12
Cathy: You'd be a little less stressful on your life there.
41:15
Cathy: But I'm not sure how common that is for other for for people.
41:19
Cathy: So, but it definitely put a little wrench in our, our planning around how we were going to use that supply that we couldn't use anymore.
41:26
Cathy: So, yeah, just just go with the flow and and yeah, enjoy it, even though it might be hard.
41:34
Angela: Yeah, it's so important.
41:36
Angela: Well, thank you so much, Kathy, for taking the time to share your story today.
41:41
Angela: It's such a pleasure chatting with you.
41:44
Cathy: Yeah, likewise yeah, and hopefully we'll touch base soon.
41:47
Angela: Yes, Before you go, I just want to remind you I have a ton of resources for pregnancy and birth.
41:54
Angela: If you're pregnant, whether you're a first-time mom or if this is your fifth baby, I want you to check out the show notes, because I have some free trainings and free downloads that you can sign up for, as well as the link to access my labor of love, a comprehensive, self-paced online childbirth education course.
42:12
Angela: I created this course specifically for moms who don't want to be told what to do, regardless of where you're birthing or who you're birthing with, and I'd honestly love to teach you everything that I know so that you can prepare for an autonomous birth experience and prepare to step into your role as the leader of your birth journey.
42:32
Angela: So click to the show notes, check out all of those links and, if you ever have any questions, feel free to DM me at my main birth over on Instagram.