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Every Man An Emperor - The UNTOLD Story Of Parachute Regiment | Dr. William Thomas Thornborrow · Chris Thrall's Bought the T-Shirt Podcast

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hello friends. I'm your host, Chris Throw. I'm a former
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Ruleries commando. I've adventured for better and sometimes worse, across
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: eighty countries on all seven confidents. Welcome to the Port
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: the t Shirt Podcast. Dr Tom? How are you sir? Fine?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: Thank you? An't you? Yes? I'm phenomenal. As I said earlier,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: really I've really been looking forward to this, this chat.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: We were chatting earlier, won't we? What what do I
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: call you? You?
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: You?
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: Tom is arad? Tom is? This is obviously a Scottish
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: military nickname. What what what does it?
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: It's Tom, Tom, same as Tom. It's just the little
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: on the accent. So wait, Robbie is Rabbie or robbers?
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Tom is Tom? It's just very simple.
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: Got you nothing to do with it?
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Is it?
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: The Tamashan team? Have I said that right?
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: Damas shand that's a headdress. Yeah, yeah, no, it's just
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: a variation of commas.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Is that tamas shanty unique to Scottish units?
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, although although some some Canadian units used
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: to wear it, but I'm not sure if they still
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: do that, if they were, if they're not being disbanded
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: or not. But certainly those of Scottish heritage.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Did so, Tom, you approached me, I can't remember. I
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: think you sent me an email about something, did you not?
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: And I just thought, BlimE me, this guy, this guy's interesting.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was it. I just, you know, off the cuff.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I'm developing. I'm developing some training programs and I'm developing
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: a kind of philosophy about dealing with postmatic stress. And
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I've been watching you for years and watching you grow
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: and what's impressed as as always, but you know, apart
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: from scale, I think.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I inches now, folks, I'm a little bit behind
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: your part.
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: But oh catchab Yeah you can always grow much. It's
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: right up to you in your nineties. Yes, as I
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: was saying, it is post traumatic stress. I don't call
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: it a disorder because disorder is a medical term given
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: to a series of patterns of behavior and language that's
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: used in order to define something like what they would
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: call a disorder or something that you've got. So post
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: traumatic stress, Chris, at the end of the day, is
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: a choice. And I know this is going to be
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: hard on a lot of viewers, but basically it comes
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: down to a choice of behavior of because of your thinking.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: So what I do is I approach the whole issue
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: from the person. PTS is as individual as fingerprints. There
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: is no two PTS. You can't have two incidents the same.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: You and I could have witnessed the same into incident
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: and walked away with different a different feeling about it
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: because we have different beliefs, different values, different culture, different attitude.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: So that comes back to the human mind. The human
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: mind is as an individual. Every brain is basically the same.
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: It's like a car. You can drive a car, but
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: it won't move anywhere until you actually set the direction
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: you want to go. So if you think of your
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: brain as a functional organ, it's your mind that's a driver.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: So you can't change your brain. It has to stay
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: in the same place. But you can change your mind.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: We do that all the time. So what I do
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: is I look at post traumatic stress as what happened
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: to me. It was a limiting belief, a set of
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: limiting beliefs. It was responsible for this behavior because I
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: believed it, I behave it, I show it. And of
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: course you've got other people around about, You're all looking
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: at you. So for your audience, I'd like to just
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: use one little story that happened to me to put
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: it all into perspective. It was around a bit Christmas
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: in the mid nineties, I know, because my kids were
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: growing up and you go buy kids Christmas presents, being
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: a little bit of strange from them special. And I
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: was in one of my modes, as you camel, appreciating
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: a lot of your audience will do. I was off
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: on one in I pick up, so in pick up
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: the presence and exactly where I was going and exactly
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: where they were. It had been scouted. So the day arrive,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I get to the bus, I going into the shopping center.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: It is coaching, it's mob can't move people everywhere. Ah,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: But I'm going to go because I've made the time,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: and I've made the decision, and I've got the money
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: in my pocket because i was unemployed. Not unusual. So
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: I come to the escalator and right in front of me, Chris,
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: this old couple converged and they spent twenty seven something
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: moving shopping bags between each other. And I'm behind them,
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: this raging bull, can't get out my way, Ready to
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: put my hands and push them, not going to but
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: you know that feeling that thought, and we start moving
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: up the escalator and all of a sudden, they kissed
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: each other in front of me, just in front of me,
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: and here's this raging thing behind them. They didn't even
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: know I was there, and it was that kiss. It
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: just made me realize, I've got nobody to kiss. Sure,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I've got my kids, I love them, they love me,
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: but I've got nobody in my life. I'm empty. And
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: then I looked down and all these people walking up
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: and down. Nobody knew I was there, and this hadn't happen.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Chris epiphany. It's happening inside my head, not out there
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: in the world. This is all happening in here. And
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: if it's happening in here, I can deal with it.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: And from that moment on I healed. I won't say
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: healed yesterday. I had one on the bust in my mind,
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: but no, I was able to consolidate all my issues
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: into one issue, which was it's inside my head. I
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: have to deal with it. And this started me on
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: a journey to find out. I mean, after the Falcons,
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: I'd been through religion, I've been through philosophy trying to
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: find I'd even got people to try and find my
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: mates to talk to them. You know, it was that
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: desperate to get answers, and I realized, you know, nobody's
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: going to give me any answers. I've got to find out.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: So that's basically what kicks started my academic career. I
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: was already I already had an MBA. That was just
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: an incidental But that's the point when I want my PhD.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: You said you had no one to kiss. I thought
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: you paras kissed each other.
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: We did. Yeah, that's that's after we left the Marines
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: in bed with and want more.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Left them reason, but I have a comeback. Left the
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: Marines getting their dresses on. So yes, there's so much
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I want to get into it, Tom. But first of all,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: for our friends at home. Friends at home, please don't
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: think this is a military chat and switch off. I
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: would say, I don't know if the good doctor agrees
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: with me, but I would say everybody has trauma. It's
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: just to the nature of the sick sickness of the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: society that we've allowed to develop. And I think this
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: chat is going to surprise you as to the origins
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: of most people's trauma. Before we get into that, though, Tam,
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: you're a Falkland's veteran, could you want to just give
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: us a quick rundown on your on your background, okay.
• 7:00
  Speaker 3: Nineteen seventy six, So I left Edinburgh. I was in
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: trouble with gangs. They were chasing me all over the place.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: I was claimed as in I'm going to get stabbed
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: and that it would have happened. So I did a bunk,
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: ended up in Leicester, dead end job, hated it. Went
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: for a look and see with the Ttook Territorial Battalion.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: They were a raw corp transport and a medical unit.
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: Met some paras sixteen independent para company who were part
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: Downta as well. The swagger, the way these guys walked,
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: their attitude, the look at me you know down Oh wow.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I want to be one of them, and so started
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: this journey. Fast forward three months I found myself depot
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: part of four feet FI Paltoon, passed out first time,
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: straight out to Berlin. Two years in Berlin. Absolutely brilliant posting.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: If you like to party, drink, but rubbish if you
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: like the soldier. So it wasn't a soldier in posting.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: It was more they said, it's some kind reward for
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: our service in Northern Ireland. Why send parachute battalions to
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Berlin where you need to be like guardsman. Big mistake,
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: cause trouble in Mayhem everywhere as you guys would have.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: So the thing is after that, it was a complete
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: flip one eighty right at the soldiering. We went to
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: bally Kindler for two years. That took us down onto
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: the tar south Armah County down and around our own
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: area in around bally Kindler. So that went off ok
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: for about five weeks and then Sunday afternoon, lying on
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: my bed waiting getting ready to go, one platoon sergeant
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: comes in. It says to me, you're coming over to
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: my platoon. My sergeant had said I could have my
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: senior soldier short of NCOs. Can't argue about it. Next day,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting in the house and County down with a
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: friend and we're waiting to go back to Ballykinler to
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: a barracks, and this girl's father runs up the stairs
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: banging on a door screaming, boys, boys, you're gonna get
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: down here. You've got to get down here, ran down stres.
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: The first thing we represent, Man Barton was on Telly.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: They've blown up Mambarton and so what saw the panic
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: and then they switched and that was it. Oh my god, Chris,
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Oh my god. You know that they talk about the
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: ground opening up and you've fallen through. That's what happened.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: I knew as soon as they said that there was
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: casualties down an incident on the border. I knew straight
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: away it was two parap The worst of it is
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: when I got down there in the night, when we
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: flew down there in the night, I realized that the
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: guy that replaced me got killed. I did my head in.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: But the worst of it was the history tells it
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: was messy. Okay, I don't want to go into it
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: when I don't want to, don't disturb your audience. But
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: I went outside for a cigarette shaken, you know, and
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: there's dark neon light shining route from the street into
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: the fort. I'm smoking a cigarette and I'm just watching
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: smoke curling anything. My god, my god, my god, you know,
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: I know who's dead. My best mates got away with it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: They didn't get killed, but you know, it was kind
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: of like rolling the dice down to who you know
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: and how much it my So there was guys at
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: the end who were queens on Southern Highlanders. It didn't
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: matter an end to me. To me, so it was
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: kind of sliding scale and I was just pondering, this
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: is this right to feel like this, you know, one
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: person over another. And I looked down neon lights a
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: little glint and I looked down again, got all lighted out, Chris.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: It was a trickle of blood coming out of stack
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: plastic bags sitting against the shed. That was my mates.
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: That was his soldiers in bits in plastic bags. What
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: an ignominious end to part of troopers to emperors. So
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: that's what triggered me.
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Sorry for our friends at home, we're talking about Warren Point. Yeah,
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: And it was a secondary device, was it not there?
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: There was the first one that stopped, that sopped the convoy,
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: and that's where the lads got born. The second one
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: was where the Queen's on Southern Highlander see got evaporated.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: That was built into the pillars at the gates of
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: the lodge. And then there was machine gun fire from
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: across the water across I didn't strengthen lock. There was
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: machine on fire that the pinning them going. Initially some
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: of the lads return fire and then the iri bugged out.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: But yeah, that's where it was there was three three incidents,
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: which two casualties.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Now, just to get straight to the point, one big
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: thing on one thing that I find a niggles me
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: a bit, And this is the notion that you can
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: only get PTS what people call PTSD, but what we
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: know is not a disorder that you can only get
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: post traumatic stress if you've been in the military and
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: you're served on the front line and you've been involved
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: in some heavy stuff.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Absolutely rubbish, Chris, True, but rubbish. I've got a sister
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: suffering PTSD because you got divorced. It's the same things,
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: a choice of behavior, a choice of thinking. You set
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: up a series of limiting beliefs about yourself, about the world,
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: and then, because mind and body are one, you aspired
• 11:53
  Speaker 3: to it and you start living it. And it's only
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: when other people start a roundabout you start telling you, hey,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: wait a minute, no, no, no no, and you start
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: losing and your friends and all that. Maybe some people
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: work it out, but a lot of people don't because
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: it's so subtle. It's all happening and you're unconscious. As
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: I said, you're consciously not aware of it except when
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: you think about it. But it's there. Driving your behavior,
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: and I can explain that how that happens. It's it's
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: pretty technical, but that can make it pretty easy. So
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: let's take post traumatics postraumatic stress to be a slow
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: fuse like a divorce, and then the point of realization
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: it's over, yea, the heart of the panic, they withdrawal, etc.
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: Exactly the same scene a road traffic accident. Exactly the
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: same you know, as injuring yourself. When you fall, it's
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: the moment your mind goes bosh and this is the
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: seat of your stress. So I'd like to move aside
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: a wee bit and tell a little story. It's fiction,
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: but basically it makes sense. A long time ago, man's
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: walking through the forest at the pack on his back
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: and he stopped. This is like telegraph road for those
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: a year other words, let telegraph rod. He stops, puts
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: his pack down and decides he's going to be homestead
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: and then gradually other people start coming along, and you know,
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: he starts building a small little town. They run out
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: of water. So this guy goes off trekking through the
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: forest miles and miles and miles and he finds this
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: massive waterfall, absolutely huge. Oh, this is awesome, We've got
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: to move here, and yeah, that all goes all the
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: way back. So he's made a trail through the forest,
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: hasn't he, And he've got to follow it back. So
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: he's got to remember little points as she's navigating, as
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: we do. No maps in his time, you know. So
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: he gets back to his little collective and she's right,
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: we've got to this, So they'll follow him. And as
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: they follow him, they're making a bigger path and they
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: get there to this waterfall and wall, this is amazing,
• 13:46
  Speaker 3: and so they go back and then start telling everybody
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: they know about this waterfall, and everybody they know comes
• 13:50
  Speaker 3: to this village, and then they go through, and this
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: path is bigger, and eventually it spreads wider, and the
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: use of newspapers and telegraph comes in. The path gets
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: bigger and wider, so it can take horses and carts,
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: and then eventually more transport, and all of a sudden,
• 14:05
  Speaker 3: this path becomes a highway. Then it becomes a motorway,
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: and then it becomes a super highway and it's what
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: And the waterfall is Niagara Falls. So it started with
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: somebody walking through the forest and discovering this, and now
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: it's a massive highway. This is how you create your
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: behavioral patterns. This is how you create your thinking. You
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: create highways in your mind. Now the technical people call
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: them neural networks, but if you think of them in highways,
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: the metaphor jumps over easy. You can close a highway,
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: you can reroute around the highway. And there's the key,
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: because if you make the choice to close it, and
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: you make the choice to go past it, that highway
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: can be shut down and you will not be thinking
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: the way you were before. You will not be going
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: back to the seat of your pay and your hurt,
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: your anger, your frustration. You'll be able to move beyond it. Now,
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: how do I know this? I did it, Chris, These
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: old people, they did me a favor. Some people say,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Jesus sent them to your fair enough you can have that, yeah,
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: or God send them to you, or oh, that is
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: entirely fated to happen. I don't care which. Either way,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: and there that happened. I had that epiphany. I went
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: and did my research and after years and discovered that
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: we create pathways highways in her mind. Now, the other
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: side of this, the crawlity, that is everybody's got a brain.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: They're all the same model. Yeah, they're all filled with
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: different stuff. That's your mind, but your brain's a different
• 15:26
  Speaker 3: Your brain has got the processing power to do this. Now, ironically,
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: the brain is very lazy. Oh, it's so lazy. It
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: doesn't want to be over work. Think about it. You're
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: walking down the street, are you thinking left foot, right foot,
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: left foot? Got to breathe make my heart beat. No,
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: that's all happening in the unconscious. That's your brain running this.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: You're unconsciously running your body. As I said, car driver,
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: and you can buy a new car, but you're still
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: the same driver. So every time you go to treatment, eh,
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: these some of these people, Yeah, they give you a
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: new car, but you're still the same driver. You're still
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: the same habits, leafs, attitudes, and behaviors. So okay, So
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: the point I really want to make is the fact
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: that your mind is lazy. Your brain is lazy, and
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: as I said, it will take the easiest route, so
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: it forms highways to behavior. So this is all your
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: habits are, and all your your preferences. If you like
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: milk and your coffee, or if you like milk and
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: your tea, or you don't that's a preference. A choice
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: is a highway in your mind. You don't have to
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: think about it. You automatically do it. So what your
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: brain does is it runs your life for you, but
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: your mind gives it direction. So if you've got a
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: stress in there, it will fault, it will start to appear,
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: and if you're using it all the time, it will
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: start to grow, just like the path becomes track, becomes
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: a lane, becomes a road, becomes a motorway, exactly the
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: same the more you use it. So when your brain
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: is in downtime, ie you're resting, where do you think
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: is going to go? It's not going to climb the mountain.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: It is going to run downhill to the easiest place
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: because that's its default position. So you're thinking all the
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: time this happened to me, Yeah, sure, But you can
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: stop that. And that's what I call my choice method. Now,
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: it's quite a complicated process to go through because it
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: involves a lot of work, not physical work, mental work,
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: because just as you have created a high way in
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: your mind, it takes time to dismantle it. Some people,
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: and I've seen this straight away, they get it, but
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: other people have to work at it. Now the other
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: side of it is, it's like everything in the army.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: They show you how to do something, and you watch,
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: and then they'll give you a little story about it,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: and then they'll tell you. And then you practice, don't you.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: And you might get it right or you might get
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: it wrong. But you practice, and you're in a Royal Marine,
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: so your fucking practice, and you practice, and you practice,
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: and you practice and you practice. Don't you what you're doing. Yes,
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: you're creating a high way in your mind to that skill,
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: to that knowledge. Whether it's map reading, loading a weapon,
• 17:53
  Speaker 3: firing an artillery piece, working the waters, helicopter drills, these
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: are practiced. And this is what's separates us from a
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: lot of normal army practice, practice practice. What the army
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: does it creates highways in your mind to the skills
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: that you need so that they're they're automatic on demand.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: And by god did that come out in the Falklands.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't know at the time. It's just as naive
• 18:14
  Speaker 3: as everybody. But doing this research, well now I know
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: that's automatic behavior. Oh guy, I got a medal for it.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: See I found out courage. There's a perception. I never
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: felt courage. There's never near enough to be courageous, but
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: other people told me I was I wasn't. I'm shitting
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: solf terrified. So that there's the point. It's put into
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: you in the army and you're trained to react in
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: a certain way, so it becomes automatic. Well that's not
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: the same as your post traumatic stress. You've trained your
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: mind to let your brain go to its least point
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: of resistance is default position, and when you get there,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: what happens emotional overload surcharge. Other highways, the roots that
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: connect into this main highway start kicking off. Whether it's anger, frustration, jealousy, rage, whatever,
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: these are all emotions attached to your highway, and you
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: can literally go down picking off these emotions one by
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: one by the choice method. I choose not to be angry.
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: Well that's easy time again, because you know you're a
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: you're a scientist and a But me, I've got to
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: live my life and and you know, I'm terrified about
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: what happened in the past, and i can't stop thinking
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: about it. So how is it a choice? You know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: they think it's a disorder, because I've been told it's
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: a disorder, and they believe it's a disorder. And I
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: can prove it's not a disorder and it has to
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: go back. I don't want to get two technical, but
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: this is university research that I did. But if anyone's interested,
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: you want to might read full cal and his archaeology.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: What he did is he went back and he looked
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: at how psychiatry came about. And this is very interesting, Chris,
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: this will tackle you. He started going back into the
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: seventeen hundreds and all that, and what what happens was
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: he started to find out that these eminent scientists in
• 19:59
  Speaker 3: the Enlightenment period, we're all experimenting, you know. This is
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: when they were cutting and put out people's parts of
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: the people's brains and shot treatment and all that. Well,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: what they had noticed, which is true, is that people
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: that had this disorder stuff had a set pattern of behaviors.
• 20:17
  Speaker 3: Oh wait a minute, that's highways in your mind, of course,
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: but they didn't know that. They just saw the behaviors
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: and so they would try and treat it. Now they
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: come up with a language because they are educated. This
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: is called a discourse. So they have the discourse of psychiatry,
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: and the discourse of so psychiatry. It looks at all
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: the patterns of behavior and beliefs and narratives that come
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: from these people that are obviously not functioning normally, and
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: they lump them into an area which they call a condition.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: Oh yes, right, Chris. As far as I know, there
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: has not been one single clinical test for any psychiatric disorder. Ever.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: They can't do it because they're all as individual as
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: your fingerprints. No two psychos are the same. No two
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Skitzers are the same. So all they do is they
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: look in their book off one thousand dollars disorders. That's
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: how farther's got. Ah, that's it. That's what they're suffering from.
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: Here's your remedy, and mister or miss PTSD victim self victim,
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: but I call them, yeah, mister and missus ps PTS.
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: Victim goes out and they think they've got the cure. No,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: it's not a cure. All you're doing is you're numbing
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: down the brain so it doesn't actively go to the
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: points of default. It's not clearing the highway, it's just
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: cluttering up. It is still there. The minute you come
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: off these pills, powdered portions and so on, you're gone.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: And the other thing that gets right up my nose.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: A lot of them are guessing they've never been there.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: I would listen to somebody like me. I'd listen to
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: Tom and two parap who'd lost everything. I'd listen to
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: him more than i'd listen to these people, because that's real.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: I'm learning from that. I'm not looking in a book
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: and ascribing that to somebody and giving them portions and
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: going away. And this is why people suffer. And again,
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: every time you go to these people, you end up
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: extending the highway, making it bigger, faster, longer, stronger, better,
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: because you're not dealing with the real issue. Now. Enter
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Dr William Thomas Thornborough. I love that one into William
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: Doctors Thomas Stormborough. I come up with this at university
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: to all these psychologists in the psychology department, and they
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: look at me as I've just walked in naked. They
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: won't take it. Why Well, they're highways in their mind,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: to their education, to their years in college, to their
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: years of practice, to their years of observation. But it's
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: all subjective observation. None of it is objective. There is
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: no test. Oh you've got point ten PTSD, you've got
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: point nine, Oh, motor accident. You've got fifteen that's were
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: not bad. Here have these pills. Now you'll feel okay,
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: and you'll be okay, beg at all the normal? How
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: can you be normal when you're mong doubt, Chris spending
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: all that time monged oubt, happy pills, feeling great. You're
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: covering it up like a plaster. You're just up curing
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: it now. I admit you cannot cure it. Once you've
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: got it, you can't get rid of it, and will
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: always always be there. But as I said earlier, if
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: you understand what the choice method is, you can put
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: a roadblock on there and block it off. And it's
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: as simple as that. However, the hard work comes after
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: you make that decision. You get rid of your limiting beliefs.
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: You no longer believe that you are a victim of
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: postraumatic stress. You are in charge. You can control this,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: tame the beast, lock it away, not always. Please trust
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: me in other moments. You know, I've had moments since,
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: but the very mild compared to what I used to do,
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: standing in a bar drunk, looking around whom I'm going
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: to fight. That's rage's behavior, and I think it's normal.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: So I dealt with that right as anybody of your
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: audience you're listening, you'll understand where I'm coming from. Anybody
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: learn to play musical instrument. Put your hand up. Now
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: I can't see you, but yeah, put your hand up.
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah you can play my instrument.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: My audience can't even read d.
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: Oh. Come on, You've got a fantastic audience. They're all
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: interested in a man who's got had a fantastic life.
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: And again, as I said to you when I first
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: contacted you, you're blessed man to be able to turn
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: around from where you were to do that. Awesome. You
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: deserve the VC anyway, apart from sending up your ass
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: back to what I was saying. Okay, So, learning to
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: play a musical instrument involves a series of steps, and
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: this is the same as everything. If you want to
• 24:36
  Speaker 3: play football, you want to fire a rifle, you want
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: to ride a horse, you want to fly a plane,
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: you want to run run consecutive marathon. Someone bands into
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: John Grots. Yeah, you've got to practice. So okay, So
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: this might be a useful test for some of your audience.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: If this isn't live and it's recorded and you're watching
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: it recorded, switch off, go get yourself pencil, a pen,
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: or get your phone out. And I wanted to type
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: these four things in or write these four things. Unconscious incompetence,
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence. These are the four
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: stages of the learning cycle. You start unconscious incompetence. You
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: don't know that, you don't know, you've never done it before.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: So think of something that you've never done before. I've
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: never played badminton, or you've never driven a racing car
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: or yeah, anything that involves a skill and applies to
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: your mind as well, like learning languages as well. But
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: I just want to concentrate on the skill so people understand.
• 25:35
  Speaker 3: So you go through a phase where all of a
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: sudden you try it. I can't do this as negative language,
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: you know better saying I can't do this yet. So
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: I can't do this, And that's what you got away
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: forget because you move from unconscious to conscious incompetence. I'm
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: no good at this. But you see the point here, Chris,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: is you've got to make a decision at this point
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: where you realize what's involved. And many people will step backwards.
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: They'll say, now it's too much time involved, too much effort,
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: too much of a resource, you need money, and so on.
• 26:06
  Speaker 3: They'll come up with either an excuse or a justification
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: for not continuing. And I said, it'll get brimmed. But
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: if somebody needs to do it for a purpose, like
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: a skill for work or hobby or pleasure, it could
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: be anything you need to practice. And this is the
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: point where I'm getting with highways in your mind. The
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: minute you pick up. Now, I did it with a ukulele.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: I did in front of the students. Over three years.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: I picked up by ukulele. I couldn't play a note,
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: and three years later I was able to play it
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: because I made a decision that there was utility in it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: I wanted to do this. I had a purpose. I
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: created a highway by practicing. Now, it takes forty two
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: days to form habits. Honestly, forty two days. Go back
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: and think about that pandemic forty two days, all these lockdowns.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: Now I digress. So it takes about forty two days
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: to form a habit. So you've got to go at
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: it now. The law of diminishing returns. Yeah, you've experienced
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: this as a runner. Yeah, one mile, two miles same
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: as fourmath ten hours, and all of a sudden you
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: get to what you think is your maximum. You went
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: beyond fair enough, but most people will get to the maximum.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: I can run five miles or can do ten. It's
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: all right, fine, But you've practiced, haven't you. Because nobody
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: gets up and runs ten miles without practice. Nobody jumps
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: in the Olympic swimming pool and swims one hundred meters
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: without practice. You have to practice, practice, practice, and this
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: every time you pick up to practice, you're changing your
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: beliefs from limiting beliefs about it to positive beliefs. These
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: positive beliefs take into your unconscious and they become filters
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: and drive your thinking and behavior. In other words, they're
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: repaving the highways if you want to want to look
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: at that way, or better still, closing them down. So
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: the more you practice, the better you become. So there
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: comes a point where you don't really get any better,
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean? Yeah, So you then move
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: into a stage of conscious competence. I can do this
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: so with my ukulele dingdy ling ding ding ding ding
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: ding ding d And I don't sing. Not got over
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: that one. Yeah, but I can plead the ukulele. So
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: whereas before and I couldn't, I can pick it up
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: anybody's ukulelean player. That's a highway in my mind to
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: the skill that I learned because I decided to go
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: past unconscious competence into conscious incompetence and deal with it.
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: This is the crux. So I dealt with it and
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: I practice in a practice. Now I'm nowhere near unconscious.
• 28:31
  Speaker 3: In unconscious competence the final stage. There's mastery after that.
• 28:35
  Speaker 3: But the final stage of the cycle is you don't
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: have to do it. You don't have to think about
• 28:41
  Speaker 3: doing it. That's why you can cross the road without
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: telling your legs to go left, brick and turn this way, yeah,
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: and so on. So you create highways in your mind.
• 28:49
  Speaker 3: The highways in your mind become default positions. Your brain
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: is lazy, it will default to them. And if you've
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: got trauma in there that you're not addressing, and believe me,
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: I've seen it, people virtue signal. They virtue signal, Oh,
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: I've got it. You don't understand why I've been through.
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: Chris on that escalator with these old people in front
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: of me, I realized, nobody can I say the F
• 29:09
  Speaker 3: word nobody gives a fuck about your service. Nobody gives
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: a fuck about what you've been through except your own
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: family and those that love you. And then they give
• 29:20
  Speaker 3: a fuck because they love you and care that they
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: don't understand what you've been through, and it's difficult to communicate,
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: and for them, they start growing highways in their mind. Yeah,
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: they move from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence to conscious competence,
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: and that conscious competence is reaction to your behavior, thought patterns,
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: and everything. So if you're leaping outside when everything goes
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: bang and hiding in a tent for three days, then
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: go back to your wife, WHA fuck, that was a
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: rough one. You're just as guilty of giving her a
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: hard time. You're just as guilty as creating highways in
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: her mind to deceit of your problem. So it's not
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: just you. If you have children, if you love people
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: and really love them, think about it. You can close
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: this highway down, Chris, you get ninety They make up
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: statistics all over the place. I just made that.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Fuck it.
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: You get one hundred percent in your life back. Mind
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: is one. You'll never get one hundred percent back, But
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: you can create new highways in your mind to positive resources.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: This is what you did. This is the pattern you
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: went through. You did. Nobody to recognize it, but it
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: just felt right. And as you've gone through these past
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: was it fifteen years or something like that, I know
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: it's the last six or seven, the things that you've learned,
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: these start becoming little bit sort of floating around in
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: your unconscious and your brain goes, don't like these wee
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: bits taking up electricity here, and I'll put them all
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: in the same place. And this becomes a repository of knowledge.
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: And this is why you have a lot of knowledge
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: about one thing, can switch to another thing, switch to
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: another thing, because all of them at the end of
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: these little highways to the seat of the knowledge where
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: who your brain, your lazy brain likes to lump all
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: the similar memories together. And that is it. That's the
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: big picture. As I said, the hard part is if
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: you want to deal with your post traumatic stress, no
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: matter whether you're eleven year olds or night if nine
• 31:07
  Speaker 3: nine year old, No matter what your stress is, whether
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: it's from combat, or whether it's from an accident, or
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: whether it's from an emotional fallout, or it's witnessing something,
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: the same principle arrives. We all have the same brain.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: Our mind is a driver. We all have a different mind.
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: That is individual's fingerprints. Any stress, anythinking patterns, habits that
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: you have are run by highways in your mind. Your
• 31:30
  Speaker 3: brain is lazy, it will go and default to these.
• 31:34
  Speaker 3: So what you have to do is put up a
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: barrier blocket or make a decision. Choose to close down
• 31:41
  Speaker 3: these limiting beliefs to the seat of your pain, anger, hurt, frustration,
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: whatever gone with your life, and show those around about
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: you that you love, that they love you, that you're
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: still worth it. And I will tell you you will
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: get a reward. I'm nearly crying. You will get a
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: reward that's far, far better than any pill portion, powder
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: word narrative from any scientist, any psychiatrist, and any psychologist. Maybe
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: that's a bit steep, but you get my point. These
• 32:09
  Speaker 3: people can give you advice. These people can give you
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: temporary relief. You take that forty two days. You're in
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: a freaking habit. You're in a chemical habit. If we
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: gin me your happy.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Pills, you get me absolutely.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: And you know about that, you know about how hard
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: it is to break a habit because it's not just highways.
• 32:29
  Speaker 3: There's body, mind and body. I want. It's said, I want,
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: I want in the prefrontal cortex is gone.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's searching and that becomes a focus. So that
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: addiction becomes a massive highway in the mind that everything else.
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: It's so big, it's taking us so much traffic in
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: your mind. You see these people Trainspotting, Yeah, that film.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: I'm sitting watching that well second time because I watched
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: it when it came out, and I see it the
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: behavior because I'm from Leith, that's my community and I
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: see it my smackheads, even running around everything is about
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: getting money to get the smack done it like you sorry,
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Christ Yeah, if you recognize it, fucking huge highway in
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: your mind that's controlling your life. Now. Many of the
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: rehabilitation what do they do? Sure unconscious and competence. You
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: don't know you've got the habit till you go there
• 33:22
  Speaker 3: and you find out you've got the habit. Then the
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: conscious confidence comes in, doesn't it. You got to make
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: a believe You've got to make a decision. You've got
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: to believe in them, believe in yourself and all that,
• 33:30
  Speaker 3: and that's great while you're in this institution and you
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: can be in there for your forty two days and
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: get your great habits. Make you step outside, bang back
• 33:38
  Speaker 3: into the community. Bang. What are you highways in your
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: mind to your culture, your lifestyle, your behavior, your friends, everything,
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: And how long is it before you slip back into it?
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: There's the danger Now psychologists know that they've been using
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: this many times. Yeah, put you through the rehab, remove
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: you from the environment because it stimulates that. You don't
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: talk about highways neural networks in your mind. They don't
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: talk about the neural networks that you've built up with
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: your friends since you were two three years old, all
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: the way through school. They don't concentrate on that. They
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: just look at you and say, ah, you've got this,
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: have this without really going into it. Now, I'm not alone.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I didn't learn this myself. A lot of what I'm
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: drawing on, I'm gonna be honest, and a lot of
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: people freak out of this and is neural linguistics. I
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: don't agree with the programming, but I've been on so
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: many of these programs in my search for what was
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: wrong with me. Remember, I want to find out why
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I got this highway. When I went on these programs,
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: what I found was there's some of them were good,
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: but the vast majority of them we're just after your money.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: And you had these people sitting there and getting taught
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: all of this stuff about all you can reframe and
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: you do all this. Nah, yeah, clear your mind and
• 34:45
  Speaker 3: all that. See them two or three weeks later and
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: ask them about they got not a fucking scooby, not
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: a clue. They've paid three thousand pounds, they've got some
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: good words, seen some good ideas working. Why why does
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: it not work? Because they didn't move from their unconsciously
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: confidence to conscious and competence and deal with it at
• 35:02
  Speaker 3: that get at that point where you have to make
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: the decision. And what's a decision. It's a come on, audience,
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: it's a choice you choose and I'm angry. That's PTS, man,
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: it's PTS because you won't choose. And I know it
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: can help you a bit of stopper if you want.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Gosh, yes, just as a slight aside, I don't think
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: when you consider that, I'm just putting the bullshit out
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: where there's the recruiting office would say, but you know,
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: I served in an elite force, on the front line,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: on active service when things you know, well quite a
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: lot of things were going bang or whizzing past our ears.
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: I then ended up chronically unwell tam as you know,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: work in the Wan Chai red light district in Hong Kong,
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: with the nightclub district.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: It's both brutal.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Man just this is no, this is actually no big deal.
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: But people make way more of this than I ever have.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: I ended up as a dorman for the Triads just
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: just because they run the clubs in Hong Kong. That's
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: it was no, you know, I didn't have to pass
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: any tests or anything. In fact, in fact, I was
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: on the bones of my ass, homeless. It was the
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: only job I could get. But I then entered you know,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I was then in clinical clinical psychosis from chronic crystal
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: meth addiction and literally living in a double a double world.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: Just you talk about like New World Order, global conspiracy,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: you wait til you're in psychosis. It's just it's a crazy,
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: crazy trip. And cut a long story short. You know,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I nearly you know, I was doing handstands on top
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: of a skyscraper on the parapet looking over the edge laughing.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: That's how. That's how something you know bad it got Anyway,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: the point I'm getting to isn't to talk about my story.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It's to say, you know, do you know how many
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: people I'm not talking podcasts now, because I've been on
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: a few podcasts. Now, do you know how many acquaintances
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: I've met? Family, besies, what do you know how many
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: people have ever asked me about my life?
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: It will be three or four.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, that's disrespect to my friend George.
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: There will be one or two.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: George and I went surfing once down to Cornwall and
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: we went to check the surf, as you do. Then
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: we went back to his car to get the boards
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: and get kitted up. We sat down for a quick
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: cover of coffee in the front of his car. That
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: cup of coffee turned into four and a half hours
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: of all my traumatic Hong Kong experience just coming out
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: of me because nobody had ever asked Listen, No one said, Chris,
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: what happened to you in Hong Kong?
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: No one.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: And this is not I'm not trying to go anywhere
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: with this town. I'm not I'm not saying I.
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Don't understand, I don't understand you, Chris.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Now, if I was in the pub with you, Tom,
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, mate, tell me about the Falklands. Can
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: you what? What? What? What was it? What was it?
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: You're barely a bloody teenager? Probably what what's it? You know?
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: What's advanced to contact?
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: What?
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: What kit? What kit did you take? What kit did
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: you fucking throw away? What?
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: What?
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: What do you think of the is? You know the
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: the Argentine. I'd haven't. I just want to ask you everything,
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: and I just I just find that interesting that that
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: you know here I am folks ask me anything. You
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: can literally ask me anything. I say this, I say
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: this in my live podcast. Folks in the chat ask
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: me anything. Still, to this day, I don't think anyone's
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: ever asked me you know what causes addiction?
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: You say, nobody gives a fut sorry. And when you
• 39:04
  Speaker 3: realize that, yeah, you can go one in two ways.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: You're totally alone or you're resolved to do something about it.
• 39:10
  Speaker 3: So if if you work with using the choice method
• 39:14
  Speaker 3: that I use, then you're already made that decision. You've
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: already gone through and conscious incompetency. You're at the point
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: where you've made that decision to practice, because that's what
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: it's all about. You have to practice not thinking. This
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: is the other side of it. So you've got there
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: and you know what to do, and right, I've got
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: to stop stop it, stop and stop it. How to
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: stop it? Okay, put it in your hand, Put the
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: thought in your hand, imagine the hand. Don't mind you
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: fuck off, don't need you, go away, and you keep
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: doing that forty two days. I'm not like walking on street.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: Fuck off, get pulled. But the point is you keep
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: on doing it. Every time you start feeling that, every
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: time you start going down there, just do it. Unless
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: you're a virtual signaler, you won't. And I don't want
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: any virtue signal er near me because I can't. I
• 40:01
  Speaker 3: can't do anything because they've already made up their mind
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: that this is useful in their life. They get some
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: kind of utility out of oh look at me, poor me,
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: whether it's wanting you know, people to be sorry for them.
• 40:12
  Speaker 3: What I'm after is the people that are really struggling
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: at once, like you and me. They're just looking for
• 40:16
  Speaker 3: that flame, that light in the darkness, you know, to say, come,
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: come to me. Whatever it is. It doesn't have to
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: be a person. It can be an idea, but you
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: move forward. You practice, you practice, you practice, and gradually
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: you close down this big highway, or do that close
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: down this big highway, and you start opening up a
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: little path. You are the guy with a pack on
• 40:36
  Speaker 3: the back. You're the guy that sets up the little village.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: You are the guy that finds the waterfall, and you're
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: following thoughts at all the other people down the edges
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: come and see this waterfall, and if you get it right,
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: you will build a new highway to a different life,
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: one full of choice. Take away, take away a lot
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: of your pain. Take away a lot, a lot of
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: what's holding you back, limiting decisions Chris, we don't even
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: know we've got them. And then I won't go into today.
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: But there's the other side of it. Language, the language
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: people use. I can't, I won't, I don't. It's shutting
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: down your your ability to express yourself, shutting down your
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: ability to deal with issues. I'll never be all right, Yeah,
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: it's fucking my way, you know what I mean? Beloved,
• 41:26
  Speaker 3: Language not really understands.
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: Language is so powerful and so misunderstood. It's not even misunderstood,
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: it's not learned. It's not it's properly like a couple
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: of my bugbears, I call it new World Order language,
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: the way that the Kabar was programmed people to be
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: such fucking sissies. Now, you know, it's all, it's all
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: part of the agenda. And this word, particularly when it's
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: applied to a veteran, like they can all fuck off
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: time and it's past. You know, when a veteran goes
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: to Valhalla, you get these people, they mean, well, they're
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: putting it on their Facebook or whatever, and they're saying,
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: you know, Tam Tam passed. It's like he didn't fucking pass.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: He fucking hung himself in the garage, or he was
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: in a fucking full on car smash, or he died
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: of cancer. Fucking passed. It's such a piss gay word,
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: and it's you it's and that's not what bothers me.
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: It's the way that people just accept this, accept it
• 42:36
  Speaker 1: without even thinking. Why why are you just talking like
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: everyone else does? Why don't you just say, do you
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: know what, I'm going to stand apart from the crowd,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: and I'm going to talk the way that I want to.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I'll be polite and courteous, but I talked
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: the way that I want. I'm not just going to
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: copy this silly words. That's the other one from an
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: NLP perspective, especially when you're dealing with the negative self
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: image that a lot of people that are self soothing
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: through addiction. You know, the trauma manifests in trying to
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: kill that bad feeling with drugs and alcohol. And it's
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: this word clean. It really gets on my tips.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: I got clean. No, No, it's.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: Like, no, you went through an experience you I mean,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: I rebel against it. That's why to me, my drug
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: years were like the best years ever. It's the greatest
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: thing that I ever did. Because I live in paradise,
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: so I must have done everything perfectly to get here,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: and I wouldn't change where I'm at for anything for
• 43:48
  Speaker 1: the simple reason too. When you meet my lad, you'll
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: understand why I've done everything fucking spot on, you know.
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: So when people use this silly word that has just
• 44:00
  Speaker 1: got such negative connotations to it, because the opposite of
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: clean is dirty. Dirty, So we're calling people that are
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: experiencing mental health ilness dirty. Fucking practitioners out there are
• 44:14
  Speaker 1: so thick they can't even get understand why why that's
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: not a particularly you know, professional way of doing things.
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: A lot of that stems from discourse. Remember I talked
• 44:28
  Speaker 3: about foot cat and these archaeology. This is where they
• 44:31
  Speaker 3: get their language from. This is where they get their
• 44:34
  Speaker 3: power from. That they are the expert. And therefore we
• 44:37
  Speaker 3: are trained, because of school to defer to the expert.
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: Teacher defer to adults. So this is part of our culture,
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: are upbringing. The different societies have different ways, but certainly
• 44:46
  Speaker 3: in the West, this seems to be the pattern that
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: most societies have evolved into. So you trust your elders,
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: and your elders tell you what to do. When you
• 44:56
  Speaker 3: learn these patterns, you learn these highways, you learn these
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: beliefs in the these values, and you behave in this
• 45:01
  Speaker 3: way the minute you step out. Now, this is where
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: the sea word, the courage word comes in. The minute
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: you step out, it becomes a different psychological plane because
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: it's in group and out group. Now, because we're hunter
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: gatherers by primitive evolution, the hunter gatherer is based on sharing.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: The hunter gatherers based on collecting together and working together
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: as a team. So therefore you need everybody thinking along
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: the same level. You don't want somebody work. Well, I'm
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: not going up the mountain for gods, I'm going over
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: there for the crocodiles. No, no, Yeah, there's a plan
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: and there's the way to followed. So anybody that steps
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: out becomes out of the group. In groups and out groups,
• 45:38
  Speaker 3: and it takes courage. It it takes courage. However, those
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: in the in group are terrified, not always, but mostly
• 45:45
  Speaker 3: terrified that you have broken away from the group, and
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: they will they will attempt to stop you or getting
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: you away or bar you. And this is where they
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: will push you away, disenfranchise you if you like. So
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: you end up with the in group, which is the
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: common philosophy, the common behavior, common beliefs, and values. You
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: evolve separate ones because of an incident or because of
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: a pathway that you've chosen. I don't want to be
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: a hunter, dad, I don't want to be a fisherman.
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: And we've been hunting for years and years and years,
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: thousands of years. Part you be a fisherman, not a fisherman.
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: This kind of thing you're under pressure to behave and
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: so therefore you end up in a situation where if
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: you step outside the group, you get rejected, and that
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: rejection has been one of the ways that the world
• 46:31
  Speaker 3: has moved forward, that the world has progressed technologically to
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: where we are because if people didn't kicked out the
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: village years and years and years ago because they were disruptive,
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: because we're like me and you've seen something different once
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: the other side of the hill, and check about the
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: grasses that green or not. These are the explorers. These
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: are the man in the track. Yeah, these are the
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: man that These are the people, men and women that
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: go out there and make things happen. Because if everybody conformed,
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: well what we're talking about, communism, can't have communism because
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: we'll think differently. Yeah, but these are the systems that
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: that will be imposed. They'd be a rigid, regimented very
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: much like being a recruit in the army. Jump how high, sir? Yeah,
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: that kind of thing. So, yes, it's totally natural for
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: one of the in crowd to break ranks and go
• 47:18
  Speaker 3: on their own. Otherwise the in crowd itself will self implode,
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: and we're seeing that right now. Will Western civilization. The
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: in crowd, in other words, people that you were talking about,
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: the people that say, oh, yeah, you're this and you're
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: that and label you these are the intellectual inferiors to
• 47:34
  Speaker 3: the people out there who can see it with their
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: own eyes. Now you walk into situation, you try to
• 47:39
  Speaker 3: talk to people, and yeah, they've all got their beliefs.
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 47:43
  Speaker 3: All this guy specially as a comment, All this guy specially,
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: he's got a PhD. He should listen to them. But
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: the minute I turn around and I start telling them
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: something they don't like, they switch off because group think,
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: because of in group, because they've been educated and some
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: would say propagandized and some say self control. You don't
• 48:02
  Speaker 3: want to step out and be nook as you know,
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: because people throw exit you.
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: Yes, I just was looking up the term midwhere on
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: the on the other screen there it's yeah, during you
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: called it a pan something. I don't give it. I
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: don't give it that. I don't fuel the fire the
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: massive scam that was perpetuated on society. That only that,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: you know, the people that bothered to do any research
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: realized and now that many people are suffering because of
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: the choices that either they made or their loved ones made.
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: God during that that that would just that was that
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: was a massive siop that was fueled by midwits and repeaters,
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: And by that, I mean people that all they can
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: do in life is repeat what they see on the
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: news or that their brainwashed education told them. And sorry,
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: I sound like I'm slagging people off. I'm not. I'm
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: just you know, like, if we on.
• 49:05
  Speaker 3: The same level as you're on this one, Chris, you
• 49:07
  Speaker 3: know I'm on the same level. I understand you're coming from.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: If we can't have this conversation, then the people out
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: there that want to learn can't. They've got nothing to
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: anchor what Chris, what the hell are you talking about?
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: When I'm you know, I'm so that's that. But another
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: thing is, Tim, do you ever look at I mean,
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I know you don't do social media, but because of
• 49:29
  Speaker 1: the nature of my job, I do have social media. Yeah,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: I'll say. The first thing I'll say is I only
• 49:38
  Speaker 1: have it for work. You know, I've got you know,
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I've got like a personal Facebook or whatever, because you
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: have to have one to have a business page. But
• 49:47
  Speaker 1: so much to say here. But when I see veterans
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: posts stuff, you get this phenomenon from you get this
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: phenomenon where it were a guy that you serve with
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: back in the day, it was an absolute legend in
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: the unit. In your case, in the regiment, it was
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: a big tough guy that you know, guzzle beer, shag
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: birds and with full on, you know, full on in
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: a job role. And then suddenly you see them. There's
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: a couple of things. Either they're broken men. I'm talking
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: about men now. I serve with men, well, served with
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: a lot of women as well. But in this example,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: they're men that are post that they're crying on Facebook
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: because their nana has just died.
• 50:38
  Speaker 3: And You're like, I went straight off, Chris, the first
• 50:41
  Speaker 3: one that did that to me A bank.
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: Go on And I'm like, mate, fucking deal with your trauma.
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking the trauma with r nandying. I mean
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: the trauma that's driving this attection, this this need to
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: be loved. You need to like, look at what what
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: we're all. You know, I'm not I think we're all traumatized, Tom,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: but we all and we all have that is in
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: us to a bit. But and we all I think
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: I'm just lucky. I've had people pull me up. I've
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: been attention seeking.
• 51:13
  Speaker 3: No, no, I wouldn't call it luck. I would call
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: it love. Yeah, self love you love yourself enough to
• 51:19
  Speaker 3: pull out, and people saw that and reinforced their love
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: for you. You see, I'll get emotional again because if
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: I had been for my daughter and my son, if
• 51:26
  Speaker 3: I had been for the love that I had for them,
• 51:28
  Speaker 3: and I want of them, see the father go that way
• 51:31
  Speaker 3: fair enough. When they're young, they don't understand. But as
• 51:33
  Speaker 3: they started becoming teenagers, well, my dad's are knocker. Yeah,
• 51:37
  Speaker 3: don't want that. But so yeah, you're right.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: And the other thing as well. But you know, I'm
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: talking about social media because that's where you see where
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: people are at. But what the other thing is the
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: military identity. It's literally all some people have got in
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: their life, even though they're seventy five, maybe even eighty
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: years of age and they have served for probably fifty years.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: Every single Facebook post is about when they joined up
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: at Deal Barracks in the nineteen fifty two. And now
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not again, I'm not here slagging people town. I'm
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: raising this phenomenon.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: Top Thrilliate, I'm well with you, yeah, top Thrillian, I'm just.
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: Raising this phenomenon where I mean, a paratrooper once said
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: former power once said, I saw him getting interviewed on
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: some podcast or some news thing anyway, and he were
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: talking about me, and he said, you know what, I
• 52:44
  Speaker 1: used to identify as a paratrooper. It's like all I was.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: It was in me. I thought it was a para
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: for even though I'd left, I still thought it was
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: a power for the rest of my life, he said.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: And then someone I respect got a lot of respect for, said,
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: I don't identify in my case as a rural marine.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: I identified by what the fuck I'm doing today? And
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: how good a father I am? And am I still
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: trying to get you know, all my bad behaviors in
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: tow And am I trying to put food on the
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: table and the dead dead to da? I will say,
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: for the purposes of this conversation, it is confusing with
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: me because I do a lot in the veterans community.
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: I love like to highlight trauma. All my charity work
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: tends to be to highlight veterans trauma and the suicide
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: epidemic and this kind of thing. If I in the past,
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: if it meant getting people's attention, I'd shove my greenberry
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: on just because I know that that video, that video
• 53:51
  Speaker 1: will get thirty thousand views. Whereas if I just put
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: this on all my bald head. It will get like
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: five hundred views. And you know, so, what what is
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: the thing? Why why do so many veterans come across
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: as really damaged cookies time?
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: Because especially the you don't get it so much in
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: the other regiments, but in ours and above and around
• 54:18
  Speaker 3: you get it a lot because we're exposed to the
• 54:20
  Speaker 3: sharp end a lot more. But it's as I did
• 54:24
  Speaker 3: sixty four interviews. By the way, I'd like to have
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: talked to you about that later, maybe not as part
• 54:29
  Speaker 3: of this, but about an archive that I'm building mya
• 54:33
  Speaker 3: my PhD interviews voices. It's a project I've got going anyway,
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: what was the same? What have I done?
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: We're talking about trauma in service, but the thing I'm
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: more key to talk about, to be honest, is childhood trauma.
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: I don't think you joined the Paris or the Rome
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: reigns because you had it easy as a kid.
• 54:54
  Speaker 3: You read my PhD and this comes out very clear
• 54:57
  Speaker 3: as one of the findings that most of us are
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: from broken homes. And I actually say in my PhD,
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: and this is a twenty odd years ago, I'm confident
• 55:05
  Speaker 3: the same to say the same for the Royal Marines. Okay,
• 55:08
  Speaker 3: we come from broken homes. The vast majority of us.
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: Childhood trauma is very, very significant. We find a family,
• 55:14
  Speaker 3: and the army knows that, and your corporate becomes your father,
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: and your sergeant becomes your grandfather, and so on. Your
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: officer has become annoying uncles, and so on and so
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: on and so on. By that brotherhood and no brothers,
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: Chris go four sisters. When I joined the army, I
• 55:29
  Speaker 3: thought I was late, being losing my virginity at fourteen.
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: I thought I was late. And then when I joined
• 55:34
  Speaker 3: the army, I realized that most of them were still virgins.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: And the nineteen twenty year old and all it's bullshit.
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: So you got that kind of It's got a lot
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: to do with what I mentioned to you when we
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: initially contact his identity and culture and indoctrination and self
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: reinforcing and discipline and narratives, and so you go into
• 55:54
  Speaker 3: an environment that, even if it's just the three years,
• 55:56
  Speaker 3: you do all that selection to gain, test to get through,
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: then you do it. You're in. You're in the cult,
• 56:01
  Speaker 3: you're in the you're in the club. Then you leaves.
• 56:05
  Speaker 3: For many of them, it's empty because you've looked at
• 56:08
  Speaker 3: high Octaney, You'll never be able drinking sessions. You had
• 56:13
  Speaker 3: spudily on man s that night, just throwing the tiles.
• 56:19
  Speaker 3: I was standing watching them, and I was a regimental policeman.
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: Get down off. Yeah, But it's things like that, you know.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: And and of course when you had when you had
• 56:28
  Speaker 3: spud on, I was totally alive, oh man, watching how
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: you changed and all that. But the point is when
• 56:33
  Speaker 3: you're in, it's a brotherhood, it's a family, and you
• 56:37
  Speaker 3: can hear it in many of my tapes or my
• 56:40
  Speaker 3: int of views from a PhD with the one of
• 56:42
  Speaker 3: the questions I asked towards the ends, why did you
• 56:44
  Speaker 3: leave the regiment? That's if they'd left. I've got a
• 56:46
  Speaker 3: lot of servant soldiers and a lot of stories are
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: tears me too. I was conscious I left for a reason,
• 56:54
  Speaker 3: you know, a major reason, and it wasn't the Falklands.
• 56:59
  Speaker 3: That had to do with the way I had been traded.
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: But you know when I did, I cried and I
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: cried and I cried because I knew something powerful. I've
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: got my life and I've been a paratrooper all my life,
• 57:09
  Speaker 3: but I've never let it dominate and subsue me as
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: to who I am. I've used it as a strength,
• 57:16
  Speaker 3: Like for example, when I was doing my ptph PACHD
• 57:19
  Speaker 3: interview to get on the program, one of the interviews
• 57:23
  Speaker 3: brought up my paratrooper background. Had said that people like
• 57:26
  Speaker 3: me were not the type of person that became academics.
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: We were disruptive and threatening and things like that. And
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: this was a woman obviously, you know, you know the
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: type of DEI that we got. Now, yeah, and bother me.
• 57:38
  Speaker 3: Did the dean not step in and say no, I'm
• 57:40
  Speaker 3: going to give him a chance. That's because the dean
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: was a submariner when he was young, and you know
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: about submariners, they're the elites. Yeah, and so therefore he
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: understood everything and he wanted my story, so he overruled everybody.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: But people in that university kept away from me because
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: of my background, and that's the reputation, so having to
• 57:58
  Speaker 3: hide it and then when it comes out, yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 58:01
  Speaker 3: you see, see typical. That's what I didn't like, the
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: typical label because it might not have been that that
• 58:06
  Speaker 3: brought it out. It's something else. But because you've got
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: that label, because you've got it all surrounding about your people, pointed, saying, look,
• 58:13
  Speaker 3: there's evidence. It's kind of like the opposite of virtue signaling.
• 58:16
  Speaker 3: Now I don't run around virtue signaling. I don't go
• 58:18
  Speaker 3: to reunions anymore because I want to remember them as
• 58:22
  Speaker 3: they were. Like you said, I don't want to see
• 58:24
  Speaker 3: them and be sitting there in a pint in the
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: reunion and somebody's telling me about his mother dying. I
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: don't want to go tell them that my mother mistake.
• 58:30
  Speaker 3: She's in you know, it's personal. But yeah, and as
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: you say, it's it's unsettling when that happens. But again,
• 58:38
  Speaker 3: it's all because of the power of the indoctrination and
• 58:41
  Speaker 3: the experience. And again it's the opposite of post traumatic stress.
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: It's post elation stress, which exists in the space in
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: their head. You will never ever be that person again, strong, powerful, determined.
• 58:58
  Speaker 3: Come on, Montgomery says about us and love using it
• 59:01
  Speaker 3: every man and emperor. And we were, Chris, we were emperors,
• 59:05
  Speaker 3: all of us. When I told about us, about all
• 59:08
  Speaker 3: the marines, everybody, even the airborne. Yeah two n in
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: Karuna battery, Oh man, working with you, working with these
• 59:15
  Speaker 3: guys occasionally, and everyone you find the same mentality, But
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: what do we do? Cherry Berry hit cabbage hat. But
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: when it gets down to it, when it gets down
• 59:23
  Speaker 3: to it, corporle Melli, Yeah, my Baptiz in my fire
• 59:26
  Speaker 3: in the Falcons, and we had had it before in
• 59:28
  Speaker 3: Northern Ireland. He was sitting next to me. We were
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: sitting and a rock cart rock and the ship came
• 59:33
  Speaker 3: over and decovered hit hit them and I turned the
• 59:36
  Speaker 3: RISSM was here because I was his body. When I
• 59:38
  Speaker 3: was body, I was his buddy, like the Regimental police
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: guys sitting next to me. I didn't know who the
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: hell he was flash bus for us. So we're both
• 59:46
  Speaker 3: lying looking at the sky. After that, you know, life
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: are you? And he says I can't remember, honestly, not
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: clue who he was then, so I wouldn't have remembered
• 59:57
  Speaker 3: his name. But he told me he was Corple Mealy
• 59:59
  Speaker 3: and he was the fall, the bar control for the
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 3: Battalion HQ, and that's why I was there. He died,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: and he died in the screen fighting with a company,
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 3: fighting with Chuck Hardman in his section, and I used
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 3: to think what would have happened if it was me? Yeah,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: I would have done the same. I would have done
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: the same because that respect and that understanding. That wouldn't
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: matter if he hadn't been a marine or he was. Yes, yeah,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 3: so he was just a buckshy airman. You know. The
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: guy fought and died and I can't I can't step back,
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: you know. And of course years, years, years later, when
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 3: I was doing my research, I found out who he
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: was and is. One of his family got in touch
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 3: with me and I was able to tell them and
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 3: give them some kind of closure because no closure, you know,
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 3: he just died with two part of there was nobody
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 3: around them to witness his death from his own unit.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: Tam fascinating. I love to talk to you just about
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: your folks experience. Will have to have another chat. But
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: I'm highlighting this stuff not because like sorry, if I
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 1: keep repeating myself, I don't want to come across as
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 1: disrespectful to any veteran.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: Not to me.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the proudest things in my life, well,
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: the proudest thing in my life, and this will be forever,
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: far more proud than even when I've become a father
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: to the biggest little legend that's on this planet. At
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: the moment right it was being accepted into the Marines
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: after doing the three day you know, entrance course, the
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 1: pre preselection. Yeah, yeah, So I don't want to no
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: one taking this the wrong way. And you know that
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: meant a lot to someone who come from a severely
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: broken home, been told he was a failure at everything,
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 1: who's grown up watching films like Officer and a Gentleman
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 1: and and who'd hung in there at their hardest moment
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: on that course, and I would not give up. You
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: can kick me out, but I'm not not giving up.
• 1:01:45
  Speaker 1: So I'm as proud as the next man to the
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: next person to have done that. That's not my issue.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: My issue is when I see people clinging to this identity.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about people that are just like fucking helltown.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: We had a great time when we and at that
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: time we'd done that in Manila, and that time at
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: so and so then and what happened to Smudge in Belfaz,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about that. We all we can all
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 1: look back with fondness and also you know, take the
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: piss and also talk about when it was really shit.
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about when you
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: see it's people's trauma response is to cling to that
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: identity and to stay in that mindset of like thirty
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: forty years ago, and to not have moved on in
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: their life whatsoever because the trauma, the identity, you know
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: that the ego is so locked into I was so good
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: when I was eighteen. I got a funny colored hat,
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 1: and didn't you know, you've all got to tell me
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: I did well. And you see that, And again, not
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: a criticism of the person I'm talking about. Isn't it
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: sad to see when trauma manifests itself the ego, identity.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 3: And highways in your mind, tress back to highways in
• 1:03:06
  Speaker 3: your mind. That's it. You remember what I said right
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: at the beginning, that flashbang whatever it is or slowf
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 3: is at that point of realization, that's it. And the
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 3: highway springs from there and it gets fed and it
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 3: grows and it grows and it grows. Virtue signaling that
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: I was in. I don't I don't do that. I
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: love it. It's just a great feeling there and put
• 1:03:25
  Speaker 3: your beery on again. Sometimes crazy enough, I was standing
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 3: and put them in and looking go yeah, And I
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 3: get strength from it. But that's private.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: My daughter's seen it. She loves it. God Dad, She
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 3: tells me put your berry on because she sees what
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: happens to me. So yeah, their lives since have been
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: empty because of that experience of what you go through
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: and then you end up out of the regiment. And
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: as I said in my PhD, got so many stories
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: of heartbreak, you know, sitting outside the barrack gate. The
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 3: one guy got ten ten meters or something, it was
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 3: that brunobo barracks and he just sat there and he
• 1:04:02
  Speaker 3: cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 3: because you're leaving something. And so yeah, I met right
• 1:04:09
  Speaker 3: after the Falklands. When I was back in Edinburgh, I
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 3: met an old guy. He was eighty eight years old,
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: full head of hair, big fucking mustache, big man guardsman.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: He'd been been a sergeant major in the Guards and
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: for the last forty odd years he would go up
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: every day to Edinburgh Castle or to drag On Barracks,
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 3: every single day. Couldn't let it go. You know, we
• 1:04:29
  Speaker 3: used to call Army Barley institutionalized prison officers. So when
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: when I was I'm talking about when I was a kid.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 3: You know, I think I'm ten years old and knew something.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: But when I was a kid, you'd see them, you know,
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: still acting as if in the army things were regimented.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: I look at the NHS. It's sad now, but it
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: used to work because he was regimented. The matron was
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: the boss. You didn't cross her. There was discipline, there
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: was a rank structure. Nowadays, you know, it's just not
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: the same. So yeah, I I can understand people wanting
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: to live in the past, but it's a highway that
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: takes them back there and they've got nothing to replace it.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 1: But one more, there's another thing in this that we
• 1:05:10
  Speaker 1: haven't factored in yet, and it's just as important as
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: everything else we've discussed, is the cognitive dissonance between the role,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: the role that blokes think they played and the fucking
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: real role that basically you as the strong arm for
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: the bankers. They've decided every single war since Napoleon fact possible.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: You know, there's a few fracas along the way that
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: that sort of emerged. Maybe the Falklands was one, although.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 3: You know, we've got oil.
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: We've had people on the show that say, no, Chris,
• 1:05:47
  Speaker 1: there's no such thing as the Falkland Islands. There's the
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 1: Falkland Island Company, and that that there was a peace
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 1: deal on the table, broke broken through some obscure country,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: the signal was sent and Thatcher's government conveniently lost the
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: peace deal. That the you know, the cease fire deal
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: that had come come to London. And again I'm not here.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: This is the the the insanity and the huge contradiction
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: of of all of this is I'm so fucking proud
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: of the people that served in the Falklands, many many
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: of whom I've had the pleasure to meet, and I
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: served with family of like my best friend, my old
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 1: business partner, I'll just call him h He said, Chris.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: In the Falklands, he said, when we lined up beneath
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: them hills, he said, when we left the start line,
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 1: he said, there was a huge, long line on the
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 1: ground of battle bowlers helmets. He said, where the Marines
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 1: are just fucking taking a helmet, thrown it to one
• 1:06:59
  Speaker 1: side and the green berries on fucking makes me almost
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 1: cry just thinking.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: It mixed me cry. Not almost, it mixed me because
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: I did it.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And then he said, you know, he said, we
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: fought up them hills. He said, when we got back
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: to our brove. He was four five. He said, we
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: got weapons training. He said, we had to go to
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 1: a weapon stance and stand there, he said, and he said,
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: the corporal smudge is like, oh, for fux sake, fellers,
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: come on put, we've got to do this. We've got
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: to do this, Just put some effort. And they were like,
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: fuck off, smudge. You know what it was like down there?
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 1: And he said, what it was really like? None of this,
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: you know, safety, catch, change, lever, check your top round,
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 1: fit magazine to the weapon, you know, working, you know whatever,
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: the whatever. The drill was right, he said, down there,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: it was fucking blat off your round as fast as
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: you fucking could get an empty magazine. Chuck, you know,
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: none of this like stow it away in your pooch.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: We call him pooches for some reason. Stow it away
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 1: in your pouch, you know, take your next week. He said.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: It's like, throw that the fucker as far as you
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: can get the next on, fucking cock it and and
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 1: and yeah, it just makes me proud to have him
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 1: as a mate. And he's still so he you know,
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 1: he got to almost sixty years old before they diagnosed
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 1: his trauma. And of course he's only getting there were
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 1: using the Falkland, So you you've got the have gone
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: into his childhood and the discrepancies he probably are with
• 1:08:38
  Speaker 1: his father.
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: And no, you're zooming in, Chris, know you're zooming in
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 3: the fundamental problem. It's the psychiatrists and the psychologists that
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: hold the discourse on what should be post traumatic stress disordered,
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: and we the sufferers, are not allowed to challenge it
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 3: because they know better. This is because they're educated, because
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 3: they've studied at university, and you're just a plab that's
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: freaked out and fuck up, and these people think that
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 3: they've got a moral and intellectual authority over you. Now
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know about the Marines, but I'm pretty suspected
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 3: were the same. The vast majority of these traumatized boys
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 3: were switched on and clever, because to me, you could
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: not be clever, that you could not be really stupid
• 1:09:16
  Speaker 3: and dumb, although there was some that you could not
• 1:09:19
  Speaker 3: be stupid and dumb and fight and operate even on
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: exercise at that kind of level. So I also noticed
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 3: it because I again I realized I'm a lot more
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 3: perceptive than the normal person. But when you get a
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: guy come up to you, and we call him hairy
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: ass paratroopers. I know you're in marines, but a big
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: hairy asks paratrooper are coming to you, sitting isolating, You're
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 3: sitting you down, said Tom, can you read this letter
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 3: to me? Well fucking trying. The boy could hardly read
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: and write what a soldier perception which just hadn't been educated,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: you know, And watching this guy melting as you're talking
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 3: about his dog dying and his mother's written to him
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 3: and his dog dyed. And this guy, you know, I
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: haven't put your arm around him, not even a mate,
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 3: just somebody that came because you good. Trust me that
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 3: that is the essence. That's a brotherhood, that's a family.
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: And of course when when the ship hits the fan
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 3: and you all rise up together. Wow, I never forget
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: coming down on the Sussex Mountains. I know it's not
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 3: about the falls, but one prieze and there's a line
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: battalion snake in the distance, beautiful evening, Christ's crystal clear
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: foam moon frost. You could see a good mile and
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 3: a half two miles and I was probably about two
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 3: thirds of the way the battalions and maybe a third
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 3: behind me. Two thirds ahead snake, and I remember thinking
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 3: down from the glen come the fighting men with the
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: guns in the grenades, and I thought, we're going to this.
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 3: I just realized the power that five hundred of us
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: had coming down this mountain to go and fight powerful,
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: powerful stuff. So yeah, I'm sorry. I was just like,
• 1:10:57
  Speaker 3: but I go back to these moments. You know, you
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: can't feel any better than that. I knew we were
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 3: on a way to make history, and I, like a
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 3: lot of tell you, I felt nothing was going to
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: happen to me. I wasn't going to get hit. Yeah,
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 3: and then you realize when you get out of it,
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: he makes it, telling your fucking hell time o what
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 3: you take your helmet off, the big fucking lumpus shrapnel
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: in it. I never felt it, so it's kind of like,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: you know, the other side of the wall is out
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: of reach. That's how I felt. But then you know,
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: when you get back and you realize and you calm down,
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: you realize when SHA could have died there. I did
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 3: see goodbye my mother once I really really faced it enough,
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: told her that, you know, but these are the things.
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: So yeah, a lot of drivers in my life from
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: the experience realizing that I wasn't alone, and realizing that
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 3: society wasn't going to help me, I had to find
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 3: my own way. And it took me fifteen years, fifteen
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 3: years before I got that trigger in that shopping center.
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 3: It was in Nothingham Victoria Center, these old people. That
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 3: was the moment when I really I didn't love anybody
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 3: apart from my kids. I didn't have a relationship. I
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 3: was pushing everybody away, not consciously. I wanted them please
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 3: love me. Yeah, but there's got to love a nutcase.
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 3: He's running about streaming airborne every fucker serious the point,
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 3: you understand where I'm coming from. So yeah, it's been
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 3: a long journey, but it's my own proof. I know
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 3: it works, and I can offer other people the same
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: opportunity to experience, you know, the I said, the relief
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: from their highways, you know, closing down their highways. So
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: on that note, Yeah, fine, I.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: Think for me it's all part of the same package.
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 1: You know, life is a holistic thing. And to understand
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: your own trauma and your addictions, and your coping behaviors
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: and your bad behavior, you know, and and and to
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: be a good parent, and to be able to interact
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 1: in this case you know, on a on a podcast,
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: and it's it's for me. It's it's all about one thing,
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: and it's truth, truth in life and truth to yourself.
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 1: When I left the military, I walked out that gatetown.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: I fucking never looked back. And do you know who
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: walked out before me and never looked back. My cousin,
• 1:13:16
  Speaker 1: and he was a colonel. Really yeah, My second cousin, Dave,
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 1: joined as a boy soldier, got the King's badge in
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: recruit training, got commission back then. Well, I mean always
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: in the Marines. You get commission, you have to go
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 1: back through training again, and it's even harder for the
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: officer train and harder and longer. And I'll never forget
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 1: my old man saying to me they carried him out
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: of the barracks on a gun carriage, so all the
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 1: you know, all the marching up and down the square stuff,
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: and my dad went, you know what, he didn't even
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: fucking look back. What my dad was saying was he
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: understood it for what it was. He saw of bureaucracy,
• 1:14:01
  Speaker 1: the crap, the fucking lack of funding that, you know.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: And for me, you know, I got to be careful
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 1: what we say. It Tom But you know, I looked
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: at those events in New York and Washington twenty years ago,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: the one where structures just miracuously like descended from the sky, several.
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: Paranoid The most paranoid nation in the world, with the
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 3: most sophisticated air defense and surveillance allowed that to happen.
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and the symbology like the you know, if you
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: don't understand numerology, you won't understand that eleven is highly significant,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: highly significant.
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 3: You know, the eleventh day of the eleventh, eleventh vone
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 3: off the eleventh.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: Day, Yes, even eleven. And incidentally, if anyone's out there
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: was wondering why, it's the pyramid number, pyramid folks, that
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: should give you a clue. It's the pyramid number because
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: it's wow. I won't won't, won't go into it now.
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: But it's about reprogramming human consciousness experiences with dark dark
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: energy basically. But I looked at that and off the
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: back of that, what a lot of youngsters don't realize
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: and a lot of people that served in the Middle
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: East is off the back of that event, we went
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: into Afghanistan, not Iraq, Afghanistan, because the official narrative was
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 1: that there were training camps of a certain type of rebel.
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 1: You can say, I don't like to say the T
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: word because we get flagged for it, but you know
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: that they were training these teas in Afghanistan to come
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 1: and there was going to cause atrocity in the West,
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: and you know, no mention of the Lithian minds in
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: that part of the world, or you know, regime change
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 1: and all this kind of stuff. And then of course
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: we had the Iraq fias go, which was too obvious
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: to fucking wasn't it to you know, even even your
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: your daily mail or your Sun reader even now has
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: to admit.
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 3: Ah.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, that was a dodgy dossier, wasn't it? And
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: so all about truth, all about being true to yourself.
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: What am I saying here? Tom?
• 1:16:23
  Speaker 4: It's well, well, while you're thinking I'm the twentieth anniversary
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 4: of the Falklands, we stayed in oil workers accommodation and
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 4: it was a freaking rig out in the big Falklands
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 4: oil workers rig same thing.
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah. I just think to be a true warrior, you've
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: got to walk that on this pathway and you've got
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: to see things for you know, for what they are.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: When I walked out the barracks for the last time.
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 1: I fucking looked back.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: It was.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: Great experience in part loads of ship times, loads of
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: ship people. Probably a lot of people thought thought thought that,
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: and me at times that's fine. But I wasn't brainwashed,
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: and I want indoctrinated. And I always stuck up from
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: his mates.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 1: I remember being guard commander or two I see of
• 1:17:11
  Speaker 1: the guard because I was lance corporal and one of
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 1: the lads hadn't turned up because he'd been on the
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: razzle all night. And I kind of slipped away, legged
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: it up to his room or grot as we called them,
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: give him a shake handt and he your fucking as
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: you know, that was like unheard of. You never didn't
• 1:17:32
  Speaker 1: turn up, you know, you know yourself.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 3: That was like yeah, you know, and he was just the.
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: Fear in his eyes. And he come running down to
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 1: the guard room looking like a bag of ship where
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: he just throwing his rig on and as he as
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 1: he as he came in, he he still had his
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: nose ring, his nose piercing in from being raving all night.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: And I was like, he's and mate, I turned around.
• 1:17:55
  Speaker 1: I fucking laughed, and you know, what I mean, it's
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: the guys come first, is what I'm trying to say.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: And and there were some people that we work with,
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: they they would have just blown that whole fucking thing
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: out of proportion, as though we was all angels or something.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: And yeah, Tom, So, I don't know where I'm going
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: with this. I just I just think, you know, I
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 1: just think we've got to be honest about what role,
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 1: what role does the military really really play? Well.
• 1:18:27
  Speaker 3: I'm of the opinion now that the kinetic warfare is
• 1:18:30
  Speaker 3: becoming a thing of the past, that we are evolving
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 3: into special operatives rather than infantry regiments, when we're going
• 1:18:39
  Speaker 3: to be moving away from artillery and all these weapons
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 3: of war into economics, into electronics, into basically the information.
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 3: So who controls the information? And we see this every
• 1:18:52
  Speaker 3: single day, pandemic you call it just scandemic.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: Day one.
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 3: I was in Malaysia. I lived in Malaysia for twenty years.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 3: I'm watching this and the first thing that happened was
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 3: I'm watching all these people falling in the street now
• 1:19:10
  Speaker 3: for me, my wife's career. And I just turned around
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: to and I said, it's fake. It's a video, it's fake.
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 3: It's not real. But she wasn't having it. And from
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 3: that point on, you know, we've had this problem because
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: I could see exactly what was going on. These people
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 3: were actors falling in the street, so it was and
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: my back background as an academic, it's psychology, behavioral psychology,
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 3: and so I could see exactly what was going on.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 3: I've seen it as propaganda. And then the other one
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 3: was we were being showing folk films in Malaysia off
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 3: these hospitals and ambulances with the flashing lights and all that.
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 3: So I said to her, let's go down to Sunway
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 3: Medical Center and let's let's have a look at this.
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 3: There was nobody there, there's no ambulances there, and yet
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 3: everybody on the TV is watching all these ambulances and
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 3: people there and bodies stacking up and all that, and
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: it's not happening in real life. The other one, of course,
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: is a TikTok shit or these nurses in the singing
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 3: and dancing on these narcissists singing and dancing in the hospitals. Yeah,
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: we're supposed to be full of people dying. So yeah,
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 3: the whole thing was the sayup, this is from the
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: very beginning.
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 1: This goes back to the thing I was saying about
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 1: language and adopting sissy language. Just because your mate starts
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 1: saying something, you haven't got the wherewith all within yourself
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 1: not to try and copy that, right, I put I
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 1: put a post on his social media of those nurses dancing,
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 1: and I just put one I put one word up
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: with really, you know that the utter fucking lunacy that
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 1: we've got so desperate for attention that during a so
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 1: called national crisis, when people are allegedly dying in their thousands,
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 1: if not hundreds of thousands, that these fucking idiot nurses
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: don't realize the inner pro creotness have spent of not
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: only using all the ppe gear that we paid for
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: to dress up, but to do these stupid fucking dances
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 1: as if if they're on a bloody TV program. And
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 1: the reaction to me posting that was I can imagine
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: programming all what it was like. These nurses could do
• 1:21:29
  Speaker 1: no wrong in in so many, so many people's eyes,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 1: particularly veterans' eyes, they were just utterly harmsson. This is
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: perfectly acceptable behavior to do during a fake fucking crisis.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 3: At the other side of it was Bangapan. All these
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 3: idiots stand in the street. I was fucking laughing. That's
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: that's Psy called you one or one. I was laughing
• 1:21:55
  Speaker 3: at it, thissing myself, laughing at these people are like
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 3: hop Then I didn't say how stupid can you be?
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: I just understood as you're saying, the programming from childhood
• 1:22:07
  Speaker 3: to accept it. My mother watches the BBC Facebook faithfully
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 3: because it served her well during the war when she
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 3: was a child. The Second World I'm talking about and it,
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 3: but she's never realized that it's nothing. But then always
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 3: has been propaganda, same as every newspaper. They're all propaganda.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 3: Now it's all moved from the newspapers, was moved from TV,
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 3: and it's now moving on to the Internet. You don't
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 3: know who to trust anymore. You don't know who's having
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 3: an honest conversation. You don't know who's monitoring your website
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: or what you're saying. I don't go on social media
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 3: because I'd be in jail by now. Simple Sometimes I
• 1:22:42
  Speaker 3: just can't hold back.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I try to focus my attention by doing it
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: through the podcast and my life coaching videos. Now it's
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 1: like I don't give uneducated, you know, non thinking people
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 1: the ammunition to then come back at me with shit
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 1: they don't understand. And then I haven't got the time
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 1: time to explain how the human biology works, that there's
• 1:23:06
  Speaker 1: no such thing as bogey men that can fucking jump
• 1:23:09
  Speaker 1: from one person into another. It's a fucking fallacy. It's
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 1: a fallacy they all parents put on you because the
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: big club that control the pharmaceutical industry selected that narrative
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: because it sets you up as the victim. There's nothing
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 1: I can do about my house. There's no point keeping
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 1: fit and eating vegetables because Tam can come in my
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 1: house and fucking kill me. So now TAM's your fault, mate,
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't you know, you shouldn't have fucking and it's
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: it's once you see it, you can't fucking unsee it.
• 1:23:45
  Speaker 1: And then then you realize that these measures that they've
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: put in place, which were thrust on us as squaddies, mate,
• 1:23:52
  Speaker 1: weren't they you know, fucking out bloody guinea pigs or what.
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 1: Then you realize if you haven't got a thing in
• 1:23:59
  Speaker 1: the first place, then you haven't got a preventative for
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: it because that thing don't exit. Then you realize that
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 1: the magnitude of this deception, this absolute magnitude. But to
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 1: understand that, you've got to go into the AIDS crisis.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 1: You've got to see who was behind it. What were
• 1:24:19
  Speaker 1: these groups? What what linked people in Sub Saharan Africa?
• 1:24:24
  Speaker 1: If I say Bill Gates folks, you.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: Come on, you know, Chris, it was their green monkeys
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 3: and their congo That's what we were to help.
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: What linked people in Africa with high risk groups? In
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: the UK intravenous needle sharers would have all have gone
• 1:24:44
  Speaker 1: to their GP, and their GP would have said, oh,
• 1:24:47
  Speaker 1: you're in a high risk group, you need to have
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 1: this this thing. And then the gayas with their all
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 1: night partying, in their poppers and their sniff and their
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 1: you know from dollikins, shall we say, and burning the
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 1: candle at both ends, when what their doctor would have
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 1: gone with. You definitely need to have a certain procedure
• 1:25:10
  Speaker 1: because you you're in a high risk group as well.
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 1: And of course when these people in these high risk
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 1: groups come down with pneumonia, which is what we're talking about,
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 1: which is like a breakdown of the biology of the
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 1: of the new matt you know, the breathing system. Oh,
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: Dr Falci comes up, because yes he was the aides man.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 1: He's got this special test already prepared and guess what
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 1: the test tells them what they wanted to And ah, Tom, listen,
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 1: this has been absolutely brilliant, brilliant conversation. Thank you for
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 1: being patient and letting me get my shit out, because
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: that's why I had a podcast. Yeah, yeah, you know,
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not going to sit here like a
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 1: fucking monkey. Do you know what I mean?
• 1:26:00
  Speaker 3: This is? Well, I don't, Chris, I don't. And I'll
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 3: be in touch with you again once I get my
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 3: website up and running and I've got on my resource
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 3: for people coming and have a look. Yeah, so I'll
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: let you know about that.
• 1:26:12
  Speaker 1: So just before we say goodbye to our brothers and
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: sisters out there who might be struggling, whether they be
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 1: civilian or military. Are we agree to leave the past
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: behind because it doesn't exist. Yeah, be grateful for today
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 1: because a lot of our comrades, can we say comrades oppos?
• 1:26:30
  Speaker 1: We say in the Marines, a lot of our oppos
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 1: are no longer here, and they died in horrible circumstances,
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes in sacrificing their own life for others.
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: They would love to be here having this experience. And
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: if you said to them, wait, fuck lugs. To live
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 1: here and have this experience, you've got to leave all
• 1:26:51
  Speaker 1: that trauma shit in the past. Yeah deal, they would
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: fucking bite your arm off, wouldn't they tam You know,
• 1:26:58
  Speaker 1: they would bite the bite your arm off to be
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 1: here now having a point with their buddies in the pub,
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: and then going back to the families who love them.
• 1:27:06
  Speaker 1: So leave the past behind, live in a present, be grateful.
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: And as for the identity, I would think it's much
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 1: healthier to identify as a massive legend, which is what
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 1: the universe. That's what the universe dictated Tim to be,
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 1: for me to be and everybody watching. It's more helpful
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: to identify as that than it is to an identity
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: that you took on when you were a teenager, which
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 1: could be thirty, forty, even fifty years ago.
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: And yeah, well, from my perspectives, thank you for the
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: opportunity to what was somebody who was thinking like me
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 3: and I'm thinking like you. So Chris, absolutely do it.
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: Is your book still available doctor on the eighth day?
• 1:27:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, it's on Amazon Kindle.
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, I've got.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 3: Another novel that's I'm ready to put up there. That's
• 1:28:06
  Speaker 3: called dead Man's Click, But that's just fiction. That's pretty
• 1:28:09
  Speaker 3: good one, actually, But I'm more interested in what I
• 1:28:12
  Speaker 3: call mind mechanics, which is I've been talking about highways
• 1:28:14
  Speaker 3: and minded. So I've got a five hundred page book
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 3: sitting on my laptop that the University Press would published
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 3: because it was he which they don't want anybody to
• 1:28:27
  Speaker 3: understand them, know, because as I say, I'm using it
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 3: as a tool and I've got myself out of the
• 1:28:32
  Speaker 3: mess I was in and I can offer that kind
• 1:28:34
  Speaker 3: of opportunity for other people. But that's in insight. As
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 3: I say, I'm grateful for your opportunities, and thank you
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 3: very much.
• 1:28:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you, and let's make this the first of many chats,
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: because you know a lot of people struggling out there
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: that they need some guy. You know, it always helps
• 1:28:50
  Speaker 1: to have the answers come from within, but it doesn't
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: to someone else saying what your mind started started to
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: think for itself. So yes, tam massive, thank you, big
• 1:29:03
  Speaker 1: respect to all our Paris and our marines out.
• 1:29:05
  Speaker 3: There, Yeah for sure.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and friends at home, I hope you've enjoyed this
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: chat and got something out of it. If you could
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: like and subscribe, that would be awesome. And if you
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 1: like my content and my philosophy and my life coaching,
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: if you could support us on Patreon folks for one
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: ninety nine a month, or you can go to locals.
• 1:29:30
  Speaker 1: Locals is free, but you can also support me there
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 1: if you so wish. Locals is are uncensored content. So
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 1: all the content where I'm talking in code here to
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 1: tam because we're not, you know, because freedom of speech
• 1:29:43
  Speaker 1: is under question. On Locals, we can just you know,
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: I can just do proper videos, you could say. So
• 1:29:50
  Speaker 1: if you can support us for one ninety nine a month, folks,
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: it just helps me to do this work. Brilliant great TAMK.
• 1:29:57
  Speaker 1: Thanks once again, massive love to everyone. Cheers, cheers if
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 1: want keep it on, Chris Bless you friends. Thank you
• 1:30:04
  Speaker 1: for listening to the Bought the t Shirt Podcast.
• 1:30:07
  Speaker 2: Please like, subscribe, and share, and don't get the follow
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 2: me on social media use the name Chris Throll, Instagram,
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 2: Chris dot Throll.
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: Thank you