Latest / RealTalkwithMikeD / Episode 44 - Having the Confidence to ask someone out!

Transcript

Episode 44 - Having the Confidence to ask someone out! · RealTalkwithMikeD

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Welcome to Real Talk with Mike D. Alright, welcome back
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: to Real Talk with Mike D. I am the one,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: the only, and the original Mike D. Where we say
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: what we mean, we mean what we say, and sometimes
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: say the things everybody else is thinking, but nobody wants
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: to say out loud. Today we're talking about something that
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: sounds simple, but for a lot of people it's absolutely terrifying.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Ladies and gentlemen, that would be asking someone out on
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: a date. Yep, those five little words. Would you like
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: to go out? And somehow those five words can make
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: a grown-ass adult suddenly forget how to speak English. You
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: can be confident at work. You can deal with difficult people.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: You can handle responsibilities. And you can walk into a
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: crowded room like you own the place. But let somebody
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: come along that you're actually attracted to. Suddenly, you're standing
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: there thinking, Okay, what do I say? Should I text them?
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Should I wait? Do they even like me? Did they
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: look at me because they're interested, or did they just
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: happen to look in my direction? And before you know it,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: you've spent three weeks analyzing one five-second conversation. Come on,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: we've all been there. But today, I want to talk
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: about confidence. Not arrogance. Not pretending you're somebody you're not.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about having enough confidence in yourself to take
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: a chance. Because sometimes the hardest part isn't asking someone out.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: The hardest part is convincing yourself that you're actually worthy
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: of hearing yes. And let's be honest. Rejection sucks. Nobody
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: likes rejection. Nobody wakes up in the morning thinking, man,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: I hope somebody rejects me today. No. No. We want
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: the person to say yes. We want the conversation to
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: go well. We want that person to be interested in us.
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: But here's something we have to understand. Someone saying no
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: does not mean there's something wrong with you. It means
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: they just said no. That's it. Maybe they're seeing somebody.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe they're not interested in dating. Maybe they're not attracted
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: to you. Maybe they're dealing with something in their own life.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Maybe the timing isn't right. There are a million reasons
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: somebody might say no. And none of them actually mean
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: you're not good enough. That's where confidence comes in. Confidence
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: means being able to say, I like you. I'd like
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: to spend some time with you. Would you like to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: go out sometime? And just letting them answer. No pressure.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Not trying to convince them. Just honesty. Here's the thing
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: I've learned about confidence. Confidence isn't the absence of fear.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Confidence is doing something even though you're nervous. You might
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: have butterflies in your stomach. Your heart might be pounding.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Your brain might be screaming, don't do it. And you
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: do it anyway. That's confidence. And sometimes you've got to
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: stop overthinking everything because overthinking can kill an opportunity before
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: it ever gets started. You see somebody you like. You
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: have a good conversation. There's a connection. You're laughing. You're
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: enjoying each other's company and you're thinking, maybe I should
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: ask them out. And then your brain starts working overtime.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week. Maybe I'll get their number first.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'll send them a message. Maybe I'll wait until
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: I know them better. And six months later, you're still waiting.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: At some point, you've got to take the shot. Respectfully, honestly,
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: and with confidence. Now, I'm not saying you should walk
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: up to somebody and immediately propose marriage. That's probably a
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: little aggressive. I'm talking about something a little bit more simple. Hey,
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: I've enjoyed talking with you. Would you like to grab
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: coffee sometime? Or, I'd like to take you out sometime.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Are you interested? That's it. That simple. Be direct. And
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: most importantly, be respectful. You don't need a three-page speech.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: You don't need a PowerPoint presentation. You don't need a
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: background check. And you don't need to rehearse it 47
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: times in a mirror. Just be yourself. And that's another
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: important part of confidence. Don't try to become someone else
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: just to get somebody's attention. If you have to completely
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: change who you are to make somebody like you, what
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: exactly are they falling for? And I love that. If
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: you have to completely change who you are to make
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: someone like you, what exactly are they falling for? They're
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: falling for a character, not you. Be yourself. If you're funny,
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: be funny. If you're quiet, be quiet. If you're a
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: little awkward, own it. Sometimes being a little nervous is
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: actually endearing. You could even say, I'm a little nervous
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: asking you this, but I'd really like to take you
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: out sometime. And you know what? That's real. And people
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: recognize real. Now, let's talk about age. Because I think
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: this is a ridiculous idea that dating is only for
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: young people. It's not. Whether you're 25, 35, 45, 55, hell,
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: even 65 or beyond. You can still meet somebody. You
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: can still have a crush. You can still get nervous.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: And you can still get excited when your phone lights up.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: You can still get butterflies. And you can still ask
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: someone out. Getting older does not mean your desire for
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: companionship disappears. If anything, you probably understand yourself better. You
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: know what you want. And you definitely know what you
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: do not want. You've lived enough life to understand that
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: relationships aren't about finding some perfect human. Let's be real.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Nobody's perfect. You're not perfect. I'm not perfect. And the
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: person you're interested in is not perfect. We're all carrying something.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: We're all figuring things out. And sometimes you just want
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: somebody you can laugh with. Somebody you can talk to.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Somebody you can sit next to without having to fill
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: every second with conversation. Somebody who makes an ordinary Tuesday
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: feel like a little less ordinary. That is what connection
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: is about. But here's where confidence really matters. You have
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: to be willing to accept the answer. If they say yes, fantastic,
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: go have a great time. However, if they say no,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: respect it. Don't argue. Don't ask. And do not try
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: to convince them otherwise. Don't get angry. Don't insult them.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Just say, no problem. I understand. And walk away with
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: your dignity intact. Because confidence isn't just asking someone out.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: Confidence is handling the answer like an adult. And honestly,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: there's something powerful about knowing you were brave enough to try.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: You can walk away saying, at least I was honest.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: That's better than sitting around six months later wondering, what
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: if I had asked? What if? Ladies and gentlemen, if
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: you're single and you're interested in somebody, what are you
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: waiting for? None of us are getting any younger. Go
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: find that person that makes your heart flutter and ask
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: them out. And if they say yes, great. If they
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: say no, accept it and move on. But ladies and gentlemen,
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: that is going to do it for today. I greatly
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: appreciate you being here. I definitely appreciate you listening. And
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: until the next episode, please be the reason someone smiles
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: and go out there And go after that woman that
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: you love. Peace.