Latest / The Everyday Awesome Project / 52: Year-End Rituals: Reflect, Release, and Make Room for What’s Next

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52: Year-End Rituals: Reflect, Release, and Make Room for What’s Next · The Everyday Awesome Project

• 0:27
  Polly Mertens: Hey superstars, welcome back Polly here flying solo.
• 0:30
  Polly Mertens: Today.
• 0:30
  Polly Mertens: Miss Samantha, my beautiful co-host, is in the ever-wonderful country of New Zealand.
• 0:36
  Polly Mertens: She is working an Ironman event there.
• 0:38
  Polly Mertens: Woo-hoo, wishing her and all those 6,000 amazing athletes a fantastic day and a fantastic race and happy end of the year.
• 0:48
  Polly Mertens: So I'm not sure if you're listening to this as the year is closing out or you just might want to use this as a process.
• 0:54
  Polly Mertens: You can also use it anytime to do it as something where you want to provide yourself some reflections and some, you know time to, let's say, close some things out, review your lessons learned, look ahead, that sort of thing.
• 1:10
  Polly Mertens: So what I'm going to be sharing with you today is an evolution, a process you might use that I've been using probably for the past 10 years since I gosh, maybe even longer.
• 1:21
  Polly Mertens: So I've been doing coaching myself, but I've also been coached by a number of people.
• 1:27
  Polly Mertens: I've attended workshops and events and just kind of an amalgamation, if you will.
• 1:32
  Polly Mertens: And what I've started to do for myself in the last, say, five years as a ritual is gosh.
• 1:39
  Polly Mertens: More than that is a routine that I do and I used to do it all in one day.
• 1:44
  Polly Mertens: So I look at you know a lot of people like to start their year and come January they do a New Year's resolution or you know their goals for the year and stuff like that, and I actually, you know I've learned a lot over the years and seen different people and processes and rituals, and so I'm going to share with you today some of the ideas that you might use to help close out your year or close out a period of your life, and allow you to reflect on that and bring forth with you what you want to have going into your future.
• 2:13
  Polly Mertens: And maybe you know shed some things, letting go, you know burning the boats, if you will, of some things that no longer are serving you, some things that no longer are serving you.
• 2:23
  Polly Mertens: So what I would say I'll share with you off and on throughout this session, how I go about mine these days and what I have found works for me.
• 2:33
  Polly Mertens: Not everybody can do the processes that I do.
• 2:35
  Polly Mertens: You know, as a coach, sometimes we go a little bit deeper, wider things like that, but my goal with this is really to give you some ideas of things that you might incorporate, whether you do all of them or some of them, and just give yourself some time.
• 2:53
  Polly Mertens: So if you're finding in your life that you're needing to or would like to do some reflecting and incorporating and infusing the things that your experience has brought you, then I hope this will be valuable for you.
• 3:03
  Polly Mertens: So one of the first things I want to share is, boy, setting aside the time to do it.
• 3:09
  Polly Mertens: So I actually have found that I like to, so I call it set and setting right.
• 3:17
  Polly Mertens: And so in the world of let's call it transformation, or if you've ever done any spiritual journeys, including retreats or medicine work, things like that, they talk about the importance of the set and setting as you go into it, and I think that's true, you know.
• 3:33
  Polly Mertens: So set means your mindset, and setting is your environment or how you're setting yourself up right.
• 3:38
  Polly Mertens: So for me, what I do is I often set aside at least one, if not two, weekends a year towards the end of the year.
• 3:47
  Polly Mertens: So usually it's either in late November or in December.
• 3:51
  Polly Mertens: The first weekend is my, and maybe it can be done in a day on the first weekend, but I like to give myself the space of the weekend because in that, creating the setting things that I like to do is I'll often so.
• 4:06
  Polly Mertens: I have a motor home.
• 4:07
  Polly Mertens: That's my joy junkie traveling mobile.
• 4:11
  Polly Mertens: I love to get in my RV and I'll often go to the beach, or I'll go to a beautiful setting or nature, or if I'm on a trip already, I'm in my RV.
• 4:21
  Polly Mertens: I love it.
• 4:21
  Polly Mertens: Sometimes I have done, you know, airbnbs or a beautiful retreat or something like that.
• 4:28
  Polly Mertens: So find yourself wherever works for you, even if it's just a quiet place in your home, if you've got kiddos around or other people or whatnot, how can you create space for yourself to do this work?
• 4:41
  Polly Mertens: You know, this is internal work, this is journaling, this is, you know, quiet time, this is reflection time.
• 4:46
  Polly Mertens: This is a place where you want to be with you and with your thoughts, with your heart, with your emotions, with all of your guides, whatever you, your spiritual practice looks like.
• 4:56
  Polly Mertens: So I'd say, take in mind the set and setting.
• 5:00
  Polly Mertens: So how can you set aside time, how can you prepare your mindset going into this work?
• 5:06
  Polly Mertens: So for me, for example, I'll set aside a weekend.
• 5:08
  Polly Mertens: Maybe I'll go take myself away in my RV for a couple of days, or I'll go rent a beautiful little cabin, something like that, and just get away, get away from people, be with myself, be with nature, whatever feels beautiful for you.
• 5:25
  Polly Mertens: And if you can just only do this in your home, so be it, but just make it special.
• 5:29
  Polly Mertens: So find the time you know, carve out the time, turn off the phone, create an environment.
• 5:35
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you get some candles out, maybe you burn some sage, you set up an altar, you put on some comfy clothes or beautiful clothes, maybe you set the environment with music or lighting or bring things around you that remind you of the love in your life or special people or pets or whatever.
• 5:56
  Polly Mertens: Just create a beautiful setting for yourself, a very warm, rich environment that allows you to do comfortable, curious, reflective work in whatever way it feels good for you.
• 6:10
  Polly Mertens: And then mindset is you know, look at it like this is an exploration, an expedition, a process of finding out more about you, like what, what's been going on for?
• 6:22
  Polly Mertens: I'm going to, I'm going to start reflecting upon this as like a year review, but you could do this for any period.
• 6:26
  Polly Mertens: So if I say, you know, reflect on your year, you could say, reflect on the last month or six months, or this project or something like that.
• 6:33
  Polly Mertens: So at the end of the year, what we want to do is I'm going to give you some promptings.
• 6:38
  Polly Mertens: So there's a couple of phases to this day.
• 6:42
  Polly Mertens: If you will.
• 6:42
  Polly Mertens: So have all your food and beverages and you know the setting and all that stuff.
• 6:47
  Polly Mertens: So you know if you're, if you're doing that, set aside plenty of time.
• 6:50
  Polly Mertens: Like I said, I like to do at least a day and oftentimes I'll go away for a whole weekend.
• 6:54
  Polly Mertens: So, starting out, I would get a journal, a nice pen, something to write with, something to write on.
• 7:01
  Polly Mertens: And these are the promptings.
• 7:03
  Polly Mertens: These are just ideas and you can modify these for however you'd like.
• 7:06
  Polly Mertens: But just to get you started, so you know you're sitting down, you've got your candles burning, you've got some beautiful music.
• 7:14
  Polly Mertens: I've done this before where I'll do a beautiful meditation before I get started.
• 7:19
  Polly Mertens: Some people like to go for a walk.
• 7:21
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you burn some candles, maybe you just sit in some silence, maybe you just put your hand on your heart and you take 10 deep breaths, slowly, in a way that you begin to get grounded in this process and these rituals.
• 7:34
  Polly Mertens: So first question I would ask you and you just write this on the top of a piece of paper is what am I taking with me?
• 7:42
  Polly Mertens: So, at the end of your year, what do you want to take with you.
• 7:47
  Polly Mertens: So, as you reflect upon the last 12 months, what has happened in your life, what, what?
• 7:53
  Polly Mertens: What have you learned, right?
• 7:55
  Polly Mertens: So let's look at this as, like, these are my lessons learned.
• 7:58
  Polly Mertens: Like, actually, let me let me divide this up, sorry.
• 8:01
  Polly Mertens: So, in this first phase, is you know, what am I taking with me?
• 8:04
  Polly Mertens: Is anything and everything that you bring, that brings you joy, that you feel loved with you, feel you appreciate in your life, you're grateful for that you want to take with you.
• 8:16
  Polly Mertens: It can be the people that are presently in your life.
• 8:19
  Polly Mertens: It can be some of the experiences in your life.
• 8:25
  Polly Mertens: It can be some of the experiences.
• 8:25
  Polly Mertens: It can be the home you live in, the job that you have, the clients that you serve, the church that you go to, the, whatever, the colleagues, the people that serve you, you know that are in your life, whatever that looks like for you and you might just be taking you with you.
• 8:39
  Polly Mertens: So what are you taking with you is like your beautiful body, your vitality, your strong, your sound mind, your smart wit, whatever.
• 8:48
  Polly Mertens: It is right.
• 8:48
  Polly Mertens: So, top of the page, what am I taking with me?
• 8:51
  Polly Mertens: And just let yourself go with that.
• 8:54
  Polly Mertens: Next question is what am I leaving behind?
• 8:58
  Polly Mertens: What are you leaving behind and letting go of?
• 9:01
  Polly Mertens: Right?
• 9:01
  Polly Mertens: And so just reflect on the things that have happened in the last year, the maybe relationships that it's time to let go of, the frustrations, the areas that you need to forgive, forget, let go of, move past, move through, move beyond, get over whatever stuff that you need to let go of.
• 9:24
  Polly Mertens: Allow yourself to really document and recognize the things that you're letting go of.
• 9:30
  Polly Mertens: You know it might be traits within yourself.
• 9:32
  Polly Mertens: It might be impatience or frustration or anger, or, you know, resentments or grudges.
• 9:42
  Polly Mertens: You might be leaving behind bad habits.
• 9:48
  Polly Mertens: You might be leaving behind people that no longer serve you or doesn't serve you to be in relationship with them.
• 9:54
  Polly Mertens: It can be leaving behind bad spending habits.
• 9:59
  Polly Mertens: It can be eating habits.
• 10:00
  Polly Mertens: It can be not exercising.
• 10:01
  Polly Mertens: I'm leaving behind not caring for exercising.
• 10:03
  Polly Mertens: I'm leaving behind not caring for myself.
• 10:05
  Polly Mertens: I'm leaving behind saying yes too many times.
• 10:08
  Polly Mertens: You know what are you letting go of?
• 10:10
  Polly Mertens: Behaviors, thoughts, processes, habits, people, things in your life, people in your life just in general.
• 10:20
  Polly Mertens: What am I leaving behind or letting go of?
• 10:22
  Polly Mertens: And after you do that, the next part is kind of fun.
• 10:26
  Polly Mertens: It's like honoring the awesome, what was great in the last year?
• 10:32
  Polly Mertens: Expected or unexpected things that happened, like what was awesome New friendships that came in, new clients, new bonuses, new financial abundance, new health, you know, renewals.
• 10:45
  Polly Mertens: Honoring the awesome things that happened in your life, the people, situations, experiences you had, whatever yourself, like things that you grew into, like what's awesome about who you are now, like honor the awesome.
• 11:02
  Polly Mertens: So, what was great, whether it was expected or unexpected, just bless it all and then next do a deep dive into yourself.
• 11:13
  Polly Mertens: So you know, as we look at what was awesome in life, oftentimes there's a lot of challenges that also we incurred.
• 11:23
  Polly Mertens: So, what was hard this year?
• 11:26
  Polly Mertens: What showed you your strengths?
• 11:30
  Polly Mertens: So, if you say right at the top of this page, honoring my strengths, what was hard this year?
• 11:36
  Polly Mertens: What challenges did you have to overcome?
• 11:38
  Polly Mertens: What strengths did you have to call upon, some traits within yourself to get through those dark days of the soul, those challenging moments, those uncomfortable situations, those uncomfortable feelings, those broken down experiences, people, relationships, finances, vehicles, equipment, technology, whatever, it is right.
• 12:02
  Polly Mertens: What was hard about this year?
• 12:04
  Polly Mertens: Right, what were the big things and some of the little things that showed you your strengths?
• 12:09
  Polly Mertens: Right?
• 12:10
  Polly Mertens: So, honoring your strengths that were probably brought to you, brought forth because it showed up in the package of a challenge or a detour in life, or you know something that you had to work with, that you didn't expect.
• 12:29
  Polly Mertens: And then I would say, a part of that is like you know, what are your lessons learned?
• 12:31
  Polly Mertens: So what did you learn?
• 12:32
  Polly Mertens: What strengths do you now see?
• 12:33
  Polly Mertens: What did you learn through all of these challenges?
• 12:35
  Polly Mertens: What do you now know about yourself that you didn't know before?
• 12:40
  Polly Mertens: Maybe it's something new or just a renewal of like yeah, damn it, I'm badass.
• 12:45
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, damn it, I've got inner strength.
• 12:47
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I'm amazingly creative.
• 12:49
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I'm super resourceful.
• 12:51
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I'm amazing friend.
• 12:53
  Polly Mertens: Yeah, I, I give support to people.
• 12:55
  Polly Mertens: Yes, I can overcome obstacles, little and big, you know whatever it is so like, what are your lessons learned?
• 13:07
  Polly Mertens: Things that you'll want to take into the future with you or things that you want to leave behind, but you learned a lesson through those experiences.
• 13:09
  Polly Mertens: So what were those lessons learned?
• 13:11
  Polly Mertens: And it's when we don't learn those lessons in this year that we often see them show up in the future, right?
• 13:18
  Polly Mertens: So what were some of your lessons learned?
• 13:23
  Polly Mertens: And then, one of my favorite things I want to remind you of is in every life and throughout years or months or whatever we have, there's this diagram.
• 13:33
  Polly Mertens: So picture a diagram that has like four circles, kind of in a square shape, and then there's like lines drawn connecting each of them.
• 13:41
  Polly Mertens: So it's like one giant circle with four little orbs or circles within that.
• 13:45
  Polly Mertens: And the first circle at the top, let's just call it, you know, one of the phases is the phase of unrest, right?
• 13:53
  Polly Mertens: So we started to notice that something in life ain't feeling so good.
• 13:58
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's our body, our habits, the relationships we're in the work that we're doing.
• 14:01
  Polly Mertens: It's our body, our habits, the relationships we're in the work that we're doing, the place that we're living in.
• 14:05
  Polly Mertens: There's some sort of unrest, there's friction, there's resistance showing up in life, right?
• 14:12
  Polly Mertens: So we go out of that phase and largely, you know, if that phase is allowed to persist, we get into the phase of destruction.
• 14:18
  Polly Mertens: So that's the next circle, if you want to write this down.
• 14:20
  Polly Mertens: So first circle is unrest, next one is destruction.
• 14:31
  Polly Mertens: So, man, some stuff breaks down, right?
• 14:32
  Polly Mertens: So, for example, for me and this is these aren't necessarily tied together, but I've been doing this work and just just super running around pretty maxed out, stressed out, lots of things going on and I've never been in a car accident.
• 14:44
  Polly Mertens: And in the last two weeks, one person I was parked, they drove past me and their rearview mirror hit my rearview mirror.
• 14:51
  Polly Mertens: That's how close we were.
• 14:52
  Polly Mertens: I was like what the heck?
• 14:53
  Polly Mertens: And within a week I was out of light and I got out of the lane that I was in because the person wasn't going and I got into the next lane to pass him and a car came that I didn't see from behind and we just barely touched each other.
• 15:09
  Polly Mertens: But we did touch each other.
• 15:10
  Polly Mertens: It was like, you know, you could, you could feel it a little bit, hear it a little bit, and it's like destruction, like oh no, things are definitely starting to break down.
• 15:20
  Polly Mertens: Right, the, the friction in my life, the friction of overwhelm, is starting to show up as little little.
• 15:25
  Polly Mertens: And you know and I'm taking the lessons here and going I don't want to see any bigger destruction, right, but destruction could look like lab reports that don't have good things.
• 15:35
  Polly Mertens: It could look like you know separation from relationship.
• 15:39
  Polly Mertens: It could look like you know some poor feedback in job situation or clients or whatnot.
• 15:47
  Polly Mertens: So where is there destruction?
• 15:49
  Polly Mertens: Right, that's the next cycle of life and then we go to the next one, which is growth right.
• 15:54
  Polly Mertens: The next circle is something happens.
• 15:57
  Polly Mertens: Something out of destruction gets us to grow, and that can be either action or inaction.
• 16:03
  Polly Mertens: It can be changes in our identity, it can be shifts in our habits, our processes, whatever it is.
• 16:10
  Polly Mertens: But in the next phase there's some growth that happens.
• 16:13
  Polly Mertens: We do some things differently than we did before, we become different than we were before, and out of growth if that is watered and nurtured, it becomes the next circle, which is mastery right.
• 16:26
  Polly Mertens: So we become or have a new elevation in our life, a new way of being, a new state and a new standard, you might say.
• 16:33
  Polly Mertens: So there becomes a new normal for ourselves, or our relationships, or the work that we're doing, or the environment we have.
• 16:40
  Polly Mertens: And we have what we call this phase or the cyclist mastery, right.
• 16:45
  Polly Mertens: So it's like things are humming along, we're doing great, we're really getting the hang of that thing.
• 16:49
  Polly Mertens: Either, you know, we're in a new phase and we're mastering it.
• 16:53
  Polly Mertens: We're through the growth.
• 16:55
  Polly Mertens: We've become different or something in our life has become different.
• 16:58
  Polly Mertens: We have mastery at that point.
• 17:01
  Polly Mertens: And then the last phase, like the new cycle is, and it turns into unrest, and it's not perpetual or forever on the same topic sometimes.
• 17:09
  Polly Mertens: But this is, these are just cycles, like in general.
• 17:12
  Polly Mertens: You can have like a mini cycle in an area of your life or you can have like life just feels like you go through these general cycles.
• 17:21
  Polly Mertens: And you know there's lots of theories about like the seven year cycles that human beings go through and grow through.
• 17:27
  Polly Mertens: And I can tell you, you know, depending on where you are in your life, sometimes it can be happening every year.
• 17:31
  Polly Mertens: You're going through this, right?
• 17:32
  Polly Mertens: You know you might look at these as like the seasons of life, right?
• 17:36
  Polly Mertens: So growth is like the springtime and mastery is the summer, and then you have the winter and fall and et cetera.
• 17:42
  Polly Mertens: So these cycles of life, if we recognize and look at the last year of your life, what phase or what cycle have you been in?
• 17:50
  Polly Mertens: What has life most felt like?
• 17:53
  Polly Mertens: Has it most felt like a lot of unrest?
• 17:56
  Polly Mertens: You know that friction that you know just something's not right.
• 18:01
  Polly Mertens: You know you're kind of got that underbelly of.
• 18:03
  Polly Mertens: You know wanting a change.
• 18:05
  Polly Mertens: Maybe there's destruction, maybe it's just been a horrific.
• 18:08
  Polly Mertens: Lots of breakdowns, lots of you know, things not working out, lots of doors closed, bad news, whatever you want to call it.
• 18:16
  Polly Mertens: So there's just destruction all around.
• 18:18
  Polly Mertens: You know, in the tarot world we call it the tower card.
• 18:22
  Polly Mertens: You know, the tower card is just like the whole tower is crumbling down.
• 18:26
  Polly Mertens: It's like run for your life and then we get to that growth phase.
• 18:30
  Polly Mertens: So has this year been a year where you actually have grown through something maybe 2022 or 2023, where there was growth year, or where there was eight years of unrest and destruction?
• 18:41
  Polly Mertens: You actually felt like starting to get a handle on things.
• 18:43
  Polly Mertens: You made some different choices this year.
• 18:45
  Polly Mertens: You felt some expansion, some elevation, some, you know, renewed lessons learned from the prior year that you started doing things differently.
• 18:55
  Polly Mertens: And so where was the growth in this year?
• 18:57
  Polly Mertens: Or were you in a year of mastery, or was like man?
• 19:04
  Polly Mertens: It felt like summertime, things were flourishing, you know, just thriving in life, thriving in lots of areas of your life.
• 19:09
  Polly Mertens: So, just looking at your year, what would you say?
• 19:12
  Polly Mertens: How would you describe this year?
• 19:13
  Polly Mertens: It might have many cycles.
• 19:15
  Polly Mertens: You might have gone through, you know, all the way around, back and forth through this loop A couple of times this year.
• 19:21
  Polly Mertens: You may have done it over and over again, but I just want to point that out to you and just know that that is a normal cycle, that is completely normal.
• 19:28
  Polly Mertens: We're all going through those as human beings.
• 19:31
  Polly Mertens: That's just the nature of life, I would say.
• 19:33
  Polly Mertens: And so, lastly, I would encourage you and you can look on Google for this there's something that I often do with my coaching clients and it's very popular these days.
• 19:44
  Polly Mertens: I've been doing it for years Something I call it the wheel of life.
• 19:48
  Polly Mertens: And if you picture and if you wanted to draw this on your sheet of paper, you know picture like a big circle, you know.
• 19:55
  Polly Mertens: So if you drew a giant circle on your piece of paper and you cut it up into 12 slices of pizza, you turn that circle into pizza pie slices and you labeled each one of those.
• 20:06
  Polly Mertens: So this becomes your wheel, and around the circumference of that circle you can add the areas of your life, the areas that you want to quantify and qualify, or categories of your life.
• 20:18
  Polly Mertens: So oftentimes we'll see areas that look like maybe it's your health is one category, maybe family and friends Some people like to break that up into two different ones, you know.
• 20:28
  Polly Mertens: So maybe your family, maybe your friends, differently intimate relationship, maybe that's either close friends and your significant other or what have you?
• 20:37
  Polly Mertens: You can do one for your finances, one for your business or your career.
• 20:43
  Polly Mertens: You can have a category for spirituality or personal growth and development, maybe fun, adventure, excitement, playfulness, things like that.
• 20:52
  Polly Mertens: You can have one for community if you like to do a lot of community work or development or donations, uh, serving other people, things like that, anything that you want.
• 21:04
  Polly Mertens: What are the categories of your life?
• 21:05
  Polly Mertens: Those are just some examples of how you might break it up and then what you do is give yourself a rating on that wheel of life in that particular category.
• 21:13
  Polly Mertens: So let's say you start with the first one and you say health and vitality Okay, so zero would be like.
• 21:17
  Polly Mertens: So let's say you start with the first one and you say health and vitality Okay, so zero would be like you're dead.
• 21:23
  Polly Mertens: Okay, so you're not at zero.
• 21:24
  Polly Mertens: And then 10 is like the best health and vitality.
• 21:26
  Polly Mertens: And like your body's like high functioning, you're in the best condition of your life, like the most wonderful state you can imagine.
• 21:31
  Polly Mertens: So that would be a 10.
• 21:32
  Polly Mertens: It's like holy cow, just super high functioning.
• 21:34
  Polly Mertens: Health, vitality is like off the charts.
• 21:37
  Polly Mertens: Amazing, you're eating beautifully, exercise, movement, body feels great.
• 21:42
  Polly Mertens: Zero to 10.
• 21:44
  Polly Mertens: Give yourself a rating.
• 21:48
  Polly Mertens: Then do that for each category of your life, so your finances, your family and friends, intimate relationship, personal development, spirituality, contribution, whatever it is.
• 21:56
  Polly Mertens: And then what you want to do is you draw in, so at the center of the circle.
• 21:59
  Polly Mertens: If that's zero and 10 is on the outer end of the circle and I like to do this with color coding in my, my circles, you could maybe pick a color for health and vitality.
• 22:09
  Polly Mertens: And then if you said you know if you gave yourself a score but five or an eight or a 10, you know.
• 22:14
  Polly Mertens: Then you color that pie chart, that slice of pie, whatever that is all the way out, you know however far.
• 22:20
  Polly Mertens: You know if it's a five, it's like halfway out, if it's an eight, it's closer to the end.
• 22:25
  Polly Mertens: And then you start to get a picture.
• 22:26
  Polly Mertens: After you do this for every category and you pencil it in, you see the areas, you get a better reflection for yourself, like, okay, this is a benchmark, like this is how I'm feeling today about my life.
• 22:37
  Polly Mertens: And I do this.
• 22:37
  Polly Mertens: I do this actually every month as a, you know, looking back and looking ahead, but I definitely like to do it as a benchmark for the year.
• 22:45
  Polly Mertens: So it's like okay, as I were, and I am coming to the end of my year, my year end review process.
• 22:54
  Polly Mertens: Part of my ritual is how am I doing Checking in with myself, where am I in terms of my expectations, my standards for these areas of my life?
• 22:58
  Polly Mertens: How do I feel life is going right now?
• 23:01
  Polly Mertens: Right, and what I'm not going to share with you and we'll do this in another episode is you're dreaming, you're visioning, you're looking to the future, right?
• 23:11
  Polly Mertens: So a lot of people are familiar with that process, what that looks like with vision boards, goal setting, you know, intention setting, all sorts of things.
• 23:19
  Polly Mertens: We'll do another episode about that.
• 23:21
  Polly Mertens: But as you look at this wheel of life, this will give you a picture and oftentimes I will see more clearly where, you know, your life just feels like it's all jumbled together, right, and this sort of helps you compartmentalize or categorize the areas of your life and you say, okay, where in are the areas of my life that things aren't, as you know, seven or higher?
• 23:41
  Polly Mertens: Okay, and you may have one, two, three, five, you know, you may have a lot of categories where things aren't feeling a seven or better, right, and so often, with coaching or reflecting on making changes in your life.
• 23:54
  Polly Mertens: One of the things that we recommend is look at the areas that are seven or below.
• 23:58
  Polly Mertens: And what would you like to be better?
• 24:00
  Polly Mertens: You know so, if you had, and you know I was like I want them all to be better, right?
• 24:04
  Polly Mertens: Well, unfortunately, in the world of coaching and the world of life change and transformation and transitions and just growing who we are, we can't.
• 24:13
  Polly Mertens: We can't do it all at the same time.
• 24:14
  Polly Mertens: I often give the metaphors like if you were a house, you can't do it all at the same time.
• 24:17
  Polly Mertens: I often give the metaphors like if you were a house, you can make over the entire house at the same time, but it's awfully uncomfortable for the occupants inside.
• 24:23
  Polly Mertens: I've got clients that remodel a bathroom or a kitchen or a living room and their life is upside down for a while and they really feel it.
• 24:31
  Polly Mertens: So what I found many, many years ago from doing work like this is and the metaphor applies is, instead of remodeling the whole house, I like to remodel a room at a time.
• 24:42
  Polly Mertens: So pick a category that you feel like is either the most significantly painful or the most significantly broken.
• 24:48
  Polly Mertens: You know, it's just.
• 24:49
  Polly Mertens: There's lots of destruction, there's lots of dysfunction, there's lots of friction, there's lots of unrest, there's lots of whatever in that category friction, there's lots of unrest, there's lots of whatever in that category that, if that category were to be satisfying, be improved, be worked on, it might actually have ripples into the others and some people, it's their health area by gosh.
• 25:06
  Polly Mertens: If you have a seven or below, please, please, please, I implore you, that is the most critical slice of pie that actually makes all the others work right.
• 25:15
  Polly Mertens: If your health is not a seven or higher, there's probably the first area that you want to start.
• 25:21
  Polly Mertens: You know and it might be small things or big things, and we'll get into another episode, like I said, how to begin working with this wheel of life and the you know future casting process for how you can, you know, out of knowing these areas and knowing what's these aren't so great right, beginning to create and turn around those areas of your life.
• 25:42
  Polly Mertens: So for now, at the end of your review process, you know, I just want you thinking, you know, if you've taken yourself away for a weekend or you've carved out a nice special day, your reflections process, so looking at, with some, you know, steeped in, you know, a mindset and a setting that supports you, feels good to you.
• 26:04
  Polly Mertens: Look at this as your time for reflection, look at this as your time for appreciation, look at this as your time for releasing.
• 26:14
  Polly Mertens: So reflecting, appreciating and releasing.
• 26:17
  Polly Mertens: And you know, I want to add to this, depending on how much you can get into this or dive into this, give you just some ideas for additional steps or things you might add to this.
• 26:30
  Polly Mertens: I would do this slowly at first, you know.
• 26:33
  Polly Mertens: So if you can just carve out, you know, a few hours or half a day or something like that, just to do this process so far, you will be miles ahead of a lot of people, right, and you will begin to see the benefits of what this process can give you.
• 26:47
  Polly Mertens: So, in addition, so if you maybe do this every year, or it's no problem for you to go away for a weekend or take all this time that you need for yourself, if you have that capacity, you have that spaciousness, you have the environment in mind, you have the wherewithal, the resourcefulness to do this.
• 27:03
  Polly Mertens: So my ideas for you, you know, to add on to this, is you might look at creating ceremony.
• 27:09
  Polly Mertens: You know creating a ritual.
• 27:10
  Polly Mertens: You can Google lots of different.
• 27:12
  Polly Mertens: You know year-end reviews or rituals or spiritual ceremonies, things like that, just to give you ideas.
• 27:17
  Polly Mertens: But I thought I'd share a few that I've done with clients, with workshops that I've done or I've been a part of, or retreats.
• 27:26
  Polly Mertens: You know one that you've probably heard of.
• 27:28
  Polly Mertens: You know the burning bowl ceremony, right.
• 27:30
  Polly Mertens: So you write something on a piece of paper so that the lessons learned or the one of my leaving behind part of this exercise, you know you might pull out of that section that you wrote.
• 27:40
  Polly Mertens: You know a full page on what are the things I'm leaving behind, I'm letting go of, and you write those things on a piece of paper, throw them into a bowl.
• 27:49
  Polly Mertens: That can, that can you know burn and then light them all on fire or like one at a time on fire.
• 27:55
  Polly Mertens: Some people like to go to the beach and do this.
• 27:56
  Polly Mertens: Some people like to, you know, throw it into the ocean or whatever it is for you.
• 28:00
  Polly Mertens: You know, maybe I've seen people like write it on a rock and then they throw the rock in the ocean.
• 28:05
  Polly Mertens: Right, it's like boom, letting that go.
• 28:06
  Polly Mertens: Right, here it goes.
• 28:08
  Polly Mertens: So a burning bowl ceremony.
• 28:11
  Polly Mertens: I highly encourage journaling Like um, I have a journal that I use that has, you know these questions and promptings in it.
• 28:18
  Polly Mertens: Um, you can get a beautiful journal for yourself.
• 28:21
  Polly Mertens: I find that when you have a really nice pen and a really beautiful journal, it just feels good to be sharing those things Like you've.
• 28:28
  Polly Mertens: You've created just a next level experience for yourself with the paper and the colors or whatever it is, so you can do this on just a simple sheet of paper.
• 28:37
  Polly Mertens: It doesn't have to be anything special, but you know, a special journal is often a way to appreciate and recognize yourself and the things that you write down.
• 28:45
  Polly Mertens: Those are your reflections.
• 28:46
  Polly Mertens: That's you working with you.
• 28:48
  Polly Mertens: So honor that time, things you might add to your self-reflecting year-end review process.
• 28:59
  Polly Mertens: Or your weekend is going for walks in nature, if you can get somewhere, whether it's going on a creek or a path or into the forest deep in the desert, by the ocean, whatever feels good for you, taking some time with nature.
• 29:13
  Polly Mertens: It doesn't have to be strenuous, doesn't have to be long, it can be whatever you'd like.
• 29:17
  Polly Mertens: But I would just say something that supports you, feels fulfilling for you, whether it's challenging or relaxing, it creates ease and peace in your body.
• 29:27
  Polly Mertens: I find that this process mostly I'm not doing this process or any of the things that I do on this weekend are very strenuous.
• 29:34
  Polly Mertens: More so, they're very nurturing and supportive and just feels like a warm hug or a big blanket.
• 29:40
  Polly Mertens: You know when I'm doing this, you can do things like sound baths.
• 29:44
  Polly Mertens: So there are sound baths on YouTube that you can do, or you can actually go to ceremonies for sound baths.
• 29:50
  Polly Mertens: Um can't actually do one for yourself, but you know, um, sound baths are a beautiful way, or sound ceremonies um might look at.
• 29:59
  Polly Mertens: You know, definitely recognize and appreciate that a lot of your emotions are stored inside your body, the cells of your body, the muscles, the fiber.
• 30:08
  Polly Mertens: So, maybe thinking of things like either hot baths or soaking baths or massage, maybe scrubbing the skin, scrubbing the body gently I'm not talking like you know, you know what I mean.
• 30:22
  Polly Mertens: So how can you create some movement?
• 30:24
  Polly Mertens: Maybe it's through yoga, stretching, tai chi, anything that feels nurturing, restorative and helps move things through your body, because as you do these processes and you reflect all these things, these things are going to bubble up, right.
• 30:39
  Polly Mertens: It's kind of like when you go get a massage and they say drink a lot of water after this, right, drink a lot of water for the rest of the day, because your body's flushing things out, right, and so, as you bring these things to light, doing some movement could also bring these things to the surface.
• 30:57
  Polly Mertens: So movement can help move that through the body, get that out the lymph nodes, get it through the lymphatic system.
• 31:01
  Polly Mertens: Another thing I've done and people enjoy is collaging, right.
• 31:05
  Polly Mertens: So people are very familiar with collaging for vision boards, right, where you cut out a lot of pictures, words, whatever, create a beautiful design.
• 31:12
  Polly Mertens: But you can also do collaging for these reflective experiences.
• 31:16
  Polly Mertens: So, and that might be something you want to burn, you know, you might want to just, or you may just want to take it as like these are my lessons learned, like I want to remember these things, right.
• 31:24
  Polly Mertens: So what's a beautiful way that you can honor this past year?
• 31:28
  Polly Mertens: You can honor this past year.
• 31:31
  Polly Mertens: You can honor it through collaging, you can create a ritual around it with beautiful images that reflect what this year was for you, and maybe burn it or let it go if that serves you.
• 31:39
  Polly Mertens: So maybe put things that you want to take with you on a new board, but letting go of the things that you don't want.
• 31:46
  Polly Mertens: So I hope that gives you some ideas, you know.
• 31:50
  Polly Mertens: The last one I would say is again optional and this can be separate.
• 31:56
  Polly Mertens: This isn't usually a part of the weekend retreat that I do, but it would be something separate that I would do.
• 32:02
  Polly Mertens: Also is you know very much in the Japanese tradition there's a lot of cleaning out, decluttering.
• 32:09
  Polly Mertens: You know they're very much into minimalism and clean spaces and I think that in our space, when it's cluttered and things are sitting around or things are broken down or whatnot, it really affects our energy, body.
• 32:20
  Polly Mertens: Right, because we are more than just the bones and skin and muscles of our body.
• 32:25
  Polly Mertens: We are energy, and so you might look at a final step of this is like all right, what do I need to clean, clear out, declutter, cleanse, clean up, clear out, throw away?
• 32:37
  Polly Mertens: That might be a part of this for you, so you might just take some time after you do all of this, or before or during.
• 32:43
  Polly Mertens: And what is the step that you can clear out and declutter?
• 32:48
  Polly Mertens: So getting rid of things that are also unwanted in your environment, your physical environment, in your car, in your house, in your purse, your storage locker, your computer, wherever it is, letting go of those things, clearing them out, decluttering, making space for the new.
• 33:02
  Polly Mertens: The universe abhors a vacuum.
• 33:04
  Polly Mertens: So as you clear out that space, beautiful things have the capacity and the ability to come in and fulfill them.
• 33:09
  Polly Mertens: So there, you clear out that space, beautiful things have the capacity and the ability to come in and fulfill them.
• 33:11
  Polly Mertens: So there you go.
• 33:13
  Polly Mertens: So that is an example.
• 33:15
  Polly Mertens: You know of the, or those are some ideas to get you going on the end of your review process.
• 33:20
  Polly Mertens: So what are you taking with you?
• 33:22
  Polly Mertens: So on the top of a sheet, I'll just summarize.
• 33:25
  Polly Mertens: So here's the questions for your worksheet, or as you write this in your journal.
• 33:29
  Polly Mertens: First thing is what am I taking with me?
• 33:32
  Polly Mertens: Second question what am I leaving behind or letting go?
• 33:35
  Polly Mertens: Third is honor the awesome.
• 33:37
  Polly Mertens: So what was great, the unexpected or the expected?
• 33:40
  Polly Mertens: How do I honor my strengths?
• 33:42
  Polly Mertens: So that's reflecting on what was hard this year, the challenges, getting clear on what your lessons learned, what you learned through all of this year.
• 33:49
  Polly Mertens: The challenge is getting clear on what your lessons learned, what you learned through all of this year.
• 33:52
  Polly Mertens: Maybe you want to identify the cycle of life that you're in.
• 33:54
  Polly Mertens: So are you in?
• 33:56
  Polly Mertens: Unrest, destruction, growth, mastery?
• 33:58
  Polly Mertens: Where did you just come out of?
• 34:00
  Polly Mertens: What was the most recent cycle that you've been in and then complete your wheel of life.
• 34:04
  Polly Mertens: You know what areas of your life are most needing your attention, that are creating friction or breakdown or just struggle.
• 34:11
  Polly Mertens: For you that if you could address those areas, you'd be feeling better as you go into the new year and anything else that you wanted to add to it.
• 34:21
  Polly Mertens: So doing burning bowl ceremonies, taking walks in nature, doing journaling, creating time with music or sound like a sound bath, finding an opportunity for movement, whether it be massage or scrubbing facials, hot baths, soaking baths, salt baths, collaging and then, lastly, doing a clearing out or decluttering process.
• 34:43
  Polly Mertens: So there you are.
• 34:46
  Polly Mertens: I hope that has been helpful and I hope and I invite you, gosh, I more than invite you, I just strongly encourage you.
• 34:55
  Polly Mertens: It has been hugely helpful to me each year to do this, and so I just want to encourage you to see where you can find the time, and if you don't have it right now, that's okay.
• 35:05
  Polly Mertens: You can set it aside in the future.
• 35:07
  Polly Mertens: It doesn't have to be before the end of the year, or right away or tomorrow.
• 35:10
  Polly Mertens: You know, oftentimes I plan these weeks and months in advance, knowing that each December.
• 35:15
  Polly Mertens: So how can you carve out that time?
• 35:17
  Polly Mertens: How can you create that sacred space.
• 35:19
  Polly Mertens: How can you set that appointment with yourself to give yourself this time?
• 35:27
  Polly Mertens: As we wrap up the end of this year, from Samantha and I, your co-host here at the Everyday Awesome Project, we hope that you found there's inner strength, that you're taking with you some beautiful lessons that you've learned in your past year that you're taking with you.
• 35:41
  Polly Mertens: You're honoring yourself for the awesome ways that you showed up for yourself, the people in your life, circumstances that required you to grow and be something or be someone different this year, appreciating the things that you have, the things that you are, appreciating those that you love in your life, appreciating all the good that is and honoring yourself.
• 36:02
  Polly Mertens: And you know, just reflecting on what has happened in the past year, this was a year of your life like 365 days have transpired, a year of your life has gone by.
• 36:15
  Polly Mertens: How did you invest that time?
• 36:17
  Polly Mertens: How did you get rewarded for that time?
• 36:19
  Polly Mertens: How are you honoring yourself and appreciating yourself and the year for what it's meant to you and just give yourself a great pause after that process.
• 36:29
  Polly Mertens: And you know, really take those lessons, take that insights, take those that wisdom with you, because that's yours.
• 36:35
  Polly Mertens: That's yours through hard-earned days and lots, of, lots of work, I'm sure, lots of growth.
• 36:42
  Polly Mertens: So, with that and here at everyday, awesome, my beautiful humans, we want to remind you how your life feels is more important than how it looks, and every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.
• 36:56
  Polly Mertens: Cheers, guys.