Latest / The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show / Episode 23, Season 2: The Wisest Person Dr. Hensley Has Ever Met

Transcript

Episode 23, Season 2: The Wisest Person Dr. Hensley Has Ever Met · The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Love Dog Podcast.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: I'm your co host Rayina Butcher here with our host,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: doctor Sarah Hinsley, the owner, founder, and CEO of the
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: love Doc relationship coaching services. You can find her at
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: the lovedoc dot com or on any social media handle
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: at doctor Sarah Hinsley.
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, Hey, Hi, so excited today. And I don't
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: know what to title this episode yet.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I mean, maybe we just title it your name.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Remember the Friends episode where Joey uses the word wisdom
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: us I do we have, Ashley, And I don't know
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: if you want us to use your last name or not,
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: So I don't care.
• 0:48
  Speaker 4: You don't care.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Ashley Edenstrum, and she was the vessel for God in
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: my life. She is the person who brought me through
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: the greatest tragedy.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: Of my life.
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: And I've never learned more from one human being than
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: I have from you, Ashley. And whatever I would bring
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: to you, I would think it would be the most
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: complex problem in the world, and you would break it down,
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: and after you would say it, it was like, well, duh,
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: that's the most obvious explanation of how to deal with this.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: But your wisdom just always was profound to me. And
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: none of this would be here, the studio, my platforms,
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: my voice, none of it would be here had you
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: not led me to Jesus Christ. And I know you'll
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: say God through you, and I believe that as well.
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: But you had to take a chance, and you had
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: to hear God to reach out to me in the
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: way you did.
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: So I just want to.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: Start by first you tell your testimony. Just give us
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: like a recap on your personal testimony of healing and
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: of seeking God's character and what God has done in
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: your life. And then just tell our listeners a little
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: bit about how we met and give your perspective of
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: me and what I was going through. And then I
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: have for this episode eight ashleisms.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: Which are we just patent that basically.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: Things that God has said in scripture, but just that
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: you were able to describe for me in layman's terms
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: before I was really prepared to understand scripture myself and
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: now I do, obviously, but for somebody who might be
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: listening that it's at the very beginning of their journey
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: in seeking God's character. I cannot think of a better
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: person to put in front of the microphone to talk
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: about these things. So go ahead, and just talk to
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: us a little bit about your personal testimony in your
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: own words, and then tell everybody how we met.
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: Okay, well, it's a privilege to be here. It's a
• 2:56
  Speaker 5: privilege to know you, and Rina, and I am flabbergasted
• 3:03
  Speaker 5: at what God's done and I hope that that translates
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: today like what God has done here and I'm so
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: humbled to even have a seat to see it, let
• 3:14
  Speaker 5: alone to have been there from the beginning of your
• 3:17
  Speaker 5: healing journey. So I just don't take this lightly to
• 3:21
  Speaker 5: be here with you. I'm so excited. So my name
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: is Ashley. I am a housewife. We live on a farm.
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: I was a registered nurse and came home to raise
• 3:34
  Speaker 5: our children. We've got five now of our own in
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: the home. We have one who has flown the coop
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: and doing wonderful living on his own. And when we met,
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: we had a bonus baby at the time. Yeah, so
• 3:52
  Speaker 5: I'm very busy with children. That's where God's using me
• 3:56
  Speaker 5: right now is to raise our children in the house.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: And when let me back up, I guess to the
• 4:03
  Speaker 5: testimony part. So when I was in my late teens
• 4:09
  Speaker 5: early twenties, I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome and migrains,
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: debilitating anxiety, just a lot of stuff, hyperhydrosis where you
• 4:23
  Speaker 5: sweat all the time, just living in fight or flight.
• 4:25
  Speaker 5: All of these were very stress related, you know, and
• 4:30
  Speaker 5: manifesting as stress diagnoses. And so I went on a
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: very long journey of sickness and disease, had severe demetriosis,
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: was told I'd never have children, and I accepted that,
• 4:45
  Speaker 5: and I walked as that with that as my identity.
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: I owned it. I was sick and broken and defective.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: And so God very graciously led me down a path
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: of healing. And it was not this like bells and
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: whistles the heavens opened and bam, I was healed. It
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: was more graciously, i'd say, God leading me down the
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: path of relationship with Him. And the closer I got
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: to him, the less evidence of brokenness there was in
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: my life. And so the diseases started going away and
• 5:23
  Speaker 5: I started being well, which was something I didn't even
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: know how to wrap my mind around, because my entire
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: life there had been brokenness that had led me to
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: believe that I was defective from the beginning and that
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: I was less than And then the physical diseases was
• 5:42
  Speaker 5: just like confirmation of what the enemy had always spoken
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: into my life. I grew up in a great home,
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: god fearing mom and stepdad, but still there was there
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: were areas where the enemy had come in and convinced
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: me that I was not in fact a whole image
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: bear of God the Father. So so I went through
• 6:06
  Speaker 5: this journey of healing and all the diseases just went away.
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: And that's really a profound part of my life. But
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: I don't I don't want to spend too much time there.
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: But now naturally conceived, you know, all our children, and
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: which is a huge evidence of healing, totally off all
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: medications and free. So this was a very exciting time
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: in my life. Twenty twelve, the very end of twenty
• 6:34
  Speaker 5: twelve was when this happened. I was in a very
• 6:38
  Speaker 5: difficult marriage at the time, and that ended soon after
• 6:44
  Speaker 5: for different varies. It wasn't like I got healed and
• 6:47
  Speaker 5: wanted out. It had been a culminating, you know thing,
• 6:50
  Speaker 5: and so got to really, you know, walk in freedom
• 6:56
  Speaker 5: for a long time. And then when I was sitting
• 7:01
  Speaker 5: on the couch nursing Abigail, my third little girl, it
• 7:09
  Speaker 5: was like two thirty in the morning. And I had
• 7:12
  Speaker 5: tried to share my testimony with lots of people, and
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: it had gone really well with some it had gone
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: really horrible. Some people just don't have yours to hear,
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: and the word of God is offensive to many. But
• 7:26
  Speaker 5: God told me early on, your testimony is not your own,
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: and if you let me, I will use it for others. Okay,
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: what do I have to offer? Like, you know, I
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: used to be a nurse and so a lot of
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: conversations would revolve around the Lord and healing and that
• 7:42
  Speaker 5: kind of thing. And I had totally lost that outlet
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: because I was home now raising these children, and I
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: just prayed, like, God, you have to bring me kingdom
• 7:49
  Speaker 5: work because I want to further your kingdom. I just
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: don't have an outlet, you know. And so fast forward
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: to twenty twenty. The end of twenty twenty, yep, I
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: had a week and a half old baby, and we
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: had a five month old also, our little bonus baby.
• 8:07
  Speaker 5: So I was up all the time, like never slept
• 8:09
  Speaker 5: in twenty twenty or twenty twenty one, I don't think.
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: But I was up and I was scrolling and I
• 8:16
  Speaker 5: saw your post and it was you know, it was
• 8:23
  Speaker 5: very moving, it was very sad. I could just feel
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: the heaviness in it, and I guess, just in my
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: tired state, I just read it at the beginning of
• 8:32
  Speaker 5: it and scrolled. I just got one thumb flick in,
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: and the Holy Spirit said go back, And I was like, okay,
• 8:41
  Speaker 5: gearing up for rejection, because you know that just happens
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: sometimes when you try to speak truth to someone. So
• 8:47
  Speaker 5: I went back and I opened it and read all
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: of it, and I saw things in there that felt
• 8:52
  Speaker 5: like I was reading my own journal. Chronic disease, debilitating anxiety,
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: grieving your ex husband, which I understood my first husband
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: and I never had children, so I did not understand
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: the capacity of grieving with your children, but I did
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: understand that very peculiar place of grieving someone that is
• 9:16
  Speaker 5: associated with a lot of pain in your life.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so your.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Ex past as well, Yes, right from the same overdose?
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Correct?
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: Yes, okay, Yeah, we had that in common.
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: We did, And so I was like, okay, maybe maybe, Lord,
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: I guess see what you're doing here. I hear you maybe,
• 9:37
  Speaker 5: And so I thankfully did not look up who you were,
• 9:43
  Speaker 5: because I would have been probably so intimidated at your
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: achievements and just how beautiful you are and those earthly
• 9:49
  Speaker 5: things that you know. I'm sitting there postpartum nursing a baby.
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: It's like I can't speak to someone that credentialed or
• 9:56
  Speaker 5: you know. I didn't look that up. Thank God always
• 9:59
  Speaker 5: spirit just put blind. So I just wrote you a
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: message and said, hey, I'm really sorry you're struggling. I
• 10:05
  Speaker 5: don't remember it verbada, but I'm sorry you're struggling. I
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: would love to talk with you about what you're struggling with.
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: I have overcome a lot of the same things in
• 10:12
  Speaker 5: my life, and if you're open to a conversation, you know,
• 10:17
  Speaker 5: I would love to talk to you.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 10:19
  Speaker 5: And so surprisingly you wrote back, yes, I'd love to
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: And I was like, okay, she's not out on that.
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: All righty, Let's go a little bit further and see,
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: you know, if we can, if we can actually have
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: meaningful dialogue about what you're struggling with.
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so, what was your because Riena has confirmed
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: this to our listeners, but just to have another confirmation
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: of what God has done in my life, give our
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: listeners a perspective of what I was like.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: Then, what the enemy had done with me, yeah.
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: It was all the enemy because you are you are
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: this right right, and you were always there, but there
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: was so much brokenness that this was buried, and so
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: what the enemy had heaped on you that was visible
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: to the world was a very heartbroken person and brokenness
• 11:18
  Speaker 5: in every area, I mean with yours and Raina's friendship,
• 11:23
  Speaker 5: and you grieving the distance between the two of you,
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: brokenness in the guy that you were dating at the time,
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: and grieving not being able to hold on too that
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: it was always like not being able to hold on
• 11:35
  Speaker 5: to what you had, and debilitating anxiety and grief, massive grief,
• 11:46
  Speaker 5: and a fear of what the future was and was
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: not going to look like, so much uncertainty, so much
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: hope deferred. You know, it says hope deferred makes the
• 12:00
  Speaker 5: heart sick, and and that that's who I saw it
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: when I saw you. It was very sad. However, I
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: knew that I knew that that's not who God had
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: created you to be, and so I knew there was
• 12:14
  Speaker 5: something beneath all of that, because you kept pursuing meaningful
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: conversation and dialogue because you wanted to change. You did
• 12:24
  Speaker 5: not want to stay where you were, and I think
• 12:27
  Speaker 5: that's where the rubber meets the road, right with you're
• 12:30
  Speaker 5: either working to change or you're just sitting in it.
• 12:35
  Speaker 5: And you never sat in it. I feel like you
• 12:37
  Speaker 5: were pursuing that, how do I get out of this?
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: I don't want to stay here?
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she was eager, like I would. I would.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: You described that so beautifully, Ashley, you really did, and
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: so compassionately. But on top of that, like you could
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: tell she had this like when you would see Sarah
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: in person at that time, you could kind of just
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: see like she was just zoned in, like how do
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: I fix this? And I think what's so beautiful about
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: that turning point is that you realized finally that all
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: the things you had known prior weren't really working. And
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: so because I remember some of the conversations that we
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: had leading up to sort of the breaking point in
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: our relationship, and I didn't have the capacity at that time,
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: you know, looking back, I mean, there's so many things
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: I would have done differently, obviously, but you know I
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: was at capacity in terms of what I felt like
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: I could offer you. And I didn't have the dialogue
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: of scripture. Ironically, even though it was a preacher's daughter
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: to back me up. So my answer a lot of
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: the times to you was when you have nothing else,
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: you have to lean on your faith. And I remember
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: saying these things to you over and over, and then
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: I think that that's what's so beautiful about God. One
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: of the many things is that he places these just
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: these people in your life. So it was like he
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: knew where I fell short. And so then he brought
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: Ashley in and like, what a beautiful marriage, right, what
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: a beautiful marriage. That is a friendship because that he
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: saw where I couldn't do. And so he said, oh, well,
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: here you go, my child, Here you go.
• 14:30
  Speaker 5: Well, and you you did not You were not grieving
• 14:33
  Speaker 5: an ex husband, right that had just passed away. You
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: did not have a journey through chronic disease and torment
• 14:41
  Speaker 5: and he had.
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: A toxic X that was pretty much our our bond.
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: And honestly, you know, Sarah had nothing to lose with me.
• 14:53
  Speaker 5: We did not have a friendship at the time to
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: preserve through niceties and you know theatory, Okay, I'll try
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: your advice. It We had very raw conversations and you know,
• 15:06
  Speaker 5: we'd hang up or you know, in the conversation and
• 15:11
  Speaker 5: I'd be like, yeah, she's definitely out. Never from her again.
• 15:15
  Speaker 5: I had to say some really hard things.
• 15:17
  Speaker 4: But very hard truths, but you.
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: Took that and offense was nowhere to be found that
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: I could tell if I offended you.
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: I never I never felt offended.
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: And I think that's because everything you said was biblical truth,
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: and so I was so eager to have it that
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: I think that I was supernaturally shielded from offense.
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: I believe that the Holy Spirit was very preserving in
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: your heart.
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: Very much so.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: And it was so interesting because you started with this
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: generality and I just want to put that out there.
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: You said, all I want you to do right now
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: is seek the care character of God. I want you
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: to find out who God is. And it was like
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: you didn't want to always tell me who God was.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: You wanted to push me to seek it because you
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: knew what I would find. So talk about that just
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: a little bit, like why that was your first piece
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: of advice to me.
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I can't tell you who God is for you.
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: I know the general things. He's our provider, he's our healer,
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: he's our father. But you had places in you that
• 16:32
  Speaker 5: I didn't even know how God was going to bring
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: wholeness and comfort to that. So I can't tell you
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: who God is for you because I only know who
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: He is for me. So you needed to encounter God.
• 16:46
  Speaker 5: You needed to encounter the God who was going to
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: sustain your children grieving their father. I don't know God
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: in that capacity, so you had to seek his face
• 16:56
  Speaker 5: and find out who He truly is in the arkest
• 17:00
  Speaker 5: moments when your children are grieving their father and you're
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: trying to forgive someone who's no longer here because you
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: have to move forward, you know, like I could only
• 17:11
  Speaker 5: speak to my experience, So I knew if you sought
• 17:14
  Speaker 5: out God's face, you would meet and encounter Him in
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: ways that I had not even yet. And I wanted
• 17:20
  Speaker 5: that for you because that's what carries you through the
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: storms of life, is your own encounter with God. And
• 17:27
  Speaker 5: I can only tell you who God is and who
• 17:30
  Speaker 5: He's been for me, but that's not going to carry
• 17:33
  Speaker 5: you through the storms you're going through.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Such beautiful advice because it takes the gosh, I'm not
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: going to make it through this one. It takes the
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: the pressure off, right, Like sometimes I feel like people
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: feel this immense pressure if somebody comes in like you
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: were describing Ashley like you were like, Oh, she's gonna
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: run for the hills. But when you just say you
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: give him that invitation, right, it's just an invitation to
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: seek him, and you make it. You you create that bond,
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: you create that relationship. And this is something that I
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: give props to my father on because through my own
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: spiritual journey, the one piece of advice that he always
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: gave me was, your relationship with Jesus is very intimate,
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: maybe the most intimate relationship you'll ever have, and so
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: it is yours to seek and yours alone. And it
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: was such beautiful guiding advice because it just opened this
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: big door of possibility and what it could really be
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: without the pressure of feeling like it needed he needed
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: to be something that if it didn't, if he didn't
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: prison himself that way to me that it felt like, well,
• 18:47
  Speaker 2: why am I not seeing Jesus the way that so
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: and so sees Jesus? Or you know, why is he
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: not showing up the way that he showed up for
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: so and so? And really inviting that in just again
• 18:59
  Speaker 2: opened a plethora of possibility in the ways that his
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: face and his heart and the ways the plethora of
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: ways he showed up in my life.
• 19:07
  Speaker 5: Imagine asking Moses, who is God?
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: God?
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: Oh, he speaks, speaks in burning bushes and he parts
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: the red Sea. Well, he's never talked to me through
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: burning bush and so if he doesn't, And I'm comparing
• 19:21
  Speaker 5: my walk to Moses's walk, Now, I've had moments with
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: God that are just as powerful. Sure, however it doesn't
• 19:29
  Speaker 5: look the same. And so you needed to find God.
• 19:33
  Speaker 5: Everyone needs to find God for themselves. And also it
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: was kind of a litmus test, like are you going
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: to put in the work? Are you going to do this?
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: Because I got four kids, two under the age of
• 19:44
  Speaker 5: five months old, Like, I want to talk if you're
• 19:48
  Speaker 5: If you're invested, I will give of myself And it
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: was a privilege to do that. But also encouraging you
• 19:55
  Speaker 5: to find the Father was a litmus test to say,
• 19:58
  Speaker 5: are you serious? Is now the time? If now's not
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: the time, let's put a pin in it and we'll
• 20:03
  Speaker 5: come back when you're ready.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: But you.
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: Soared through that litmus test. I mean you exceeded. I'm
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: over here going she's really doing Wow. Okay, I need
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: to get ready for the next conversation. How she's coming back.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: To Tom Bradford. I had sermons going twenty four to seven.
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: I had my Bible out constantly. I was I was
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: rebuking fear a thousand times a day.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: You wouldn't be like full sabbatical during that time.
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: I just disappeared clearly year sabbatical.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: And I had to explain, and I lost some friends
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: in that time, and I had to explain that I
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: can't give of myself to anyone or anything except my
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: children and God right now because I need to find some.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: Way to survive what has happened. Sorry, guys, I know
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: I cry on like every other EP a lot, cry
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: a lot.
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: But I was at true suicide ideation rock bottom.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: I was so so sick. I couldn't see barely, could
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: walk a straight line.
• 21:08
  Speaker 5: Couldn't eat, couldn't eat three foods.
• 21:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it was down like three foods. It was horrible.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: I was the thinnest I had ever been. And although
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: there was still the weird, unloving spirit part of me
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: that actually liked that, I look back now.
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: And go, oh, that wasn't good.
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: That wasn't nourishing, that wasn't providing appropriate nutrition and caring
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: for the temple.
• 21:29
  Speaker 4: That is my body.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: But I was doing all the things because the way
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: in which you described healing, I wanted it.
• 21:40
  Speaker 4: I wanted it so bad.
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: And you said, you can't seek your healing, Sarah, you
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: need to seek the character of God. If you just
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: try to seek your healing, that's that's not what this
• 21:53
  Speaker 3: is about.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: It cheapens your relationship with the Lord.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: If you go after the healing instead of the healer,
• 21:59
  Speaker 5: then you're in it for yourself, yes, yeah, instead of
• 22:02
  Speaker 5: for Him, which is how we should be asturedly.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: So I want to go into these ashleyisms that are
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: really really from scripture. But the way that you described it,
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: God did use your voice as a vessel.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: He used the He.
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: Used you to be able to describe things in a
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: way that I could understand that. If I had just
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: gone to scripture first, I don't think I could have
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: understood it. But you kind of breaking it down for
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: me like I needed, Like I was a fourth grader.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: I needed it to be broke down like that for
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: me because I had such a twisted, wrong view of
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: who God was, such a backwards view of who God was,
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: and the things that you were telling me just were
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: I don't even know how to describe it, just like
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: an epiphany. Every time you would say something, I would
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: have this like epiphany, and then I would run to
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: scripture and I would just say, Okay, where is this
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: and how did God say it? But your voice would
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: be in there of kind of like, okay, now I
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: kind of get what this means a little bit, because
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: I was not in a place to be left to
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: my own devices with scripture yet, and I think God
• 23:10
  Speaker 3: knew that, and I think he needed to give me
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: a voice that was calming and loving and caring to
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: sort of lead me to some of these things. So
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: I forgot the most important one. But it's a softball
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: because I gave these to you in advance, but I
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: forgot one of the most important things that I think
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: our listeners need to hear to preface this. But it's
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: a softball. And I'll even give you the scripture because
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: you know it. It's Ephesian six twelve.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: It's this.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: We are in a spiritual battle every moment of every day.
• 23:39
  Speaker 3: This is a spiritual battle, guys, between good and evil.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: This is not a battle between each other. And I
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: know when we look in the media and we look
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: on the news and we look everywhere, it seems like
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: we're all in battle with each other, but we are not.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: And once you see the world as a spiritual battle,
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: you can never unsee it. And so talk to our
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: listeners about that, just a little bit. Talk about if
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: he's in Avisian six to twelve.
• 24:03
  Speaker 5: So paraphrase, it says, for we wrestle not against flesh
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: and blood, but against powers and principalities and rulers of
• 24:10
  Speaker 5: the darkness. So we wrestle not against flesh and blood.
• 24:14
  Speaker 5: If I have a problem with you, it's not you,
• 24:17
  Speaker 5: and it's not Ashley and Rena. It's those rulers and
• 24:21
  Speaker 5: principalities of darkness. So Satan has come and accused you
• 24:25
  Speaker 5: to me and me to you, and I'm just using
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: I love Rena. Let me just put a disclaim, hypothetically speak,
• 24:31
  Speaker 5: I have never had one complaint. That's why it's such
• 24:35
  Speaker 5: a safe, you know, example to say. But Satan second
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: Peter five eight says he is always roaring like a lion,
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: seeking those whom he can devour. And so he is
• 24:46
  Speaker 5: waiting for every opportunity, every chance, just to get a
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: foothold in to bring division, destruction, death, chaos, all the
• 24:54
  Speaker 5: things that he's you know, known for. So my battle
• 25:00
  Speaker 5: is not against flesh and blood, it's against the influence
• 25:04
  Speaker 5: from that kingdom of darkness, and fear is one of
• 25:08
  Speaker 5: the rulers principalities. Kingdom of darkness, tools, fear, anxiety, stress, worry,
• 25:14
  Speaker 5: all those things bitterness, same offense, change are these are
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: what we wrestle against. And so we have to be
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: postured to first, like in First Corinthians, take every thought captive.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: Yes, changed my life.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: And it is a profound principle that I teach in
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: my coaching practice is we have to master our mind.
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: And for those that are open to the Christian perspective
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: and even those that are just curious. You know, I
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: can give the psychology. You know, psychologists said it, but
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: God said it first. That mastering your mind and making
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: it obedient to Christ is insanely important. So that that
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: is actually one of the ashleyisms.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: To talk about that a little bit.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: So taking every thought captive. And in Genesis chapter three,
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: the Fall of Man, we know the story Eve ate
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: the Fruit. Interesting, the curse did not fall until Adam
• 26:17
  Speaker 5: ate the fruit.
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: Because he was supposed to be the covering.
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: He was her covering and he did not cover her well,
• 26:22
  Speaker 5: and so that opened both of them up to the
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: kingdom of darkness. So in the garden they hid from God,
• 26:29
  Speaker 5: and God said, why would you hide from me? Why
• 26:31
  Speaker 5: are you hiding? And Adam said, we hid because we
• 26:34
  Speaker 5: were naked and afraid. And these are all paraphrase. I'm
• 26:37
  Speaker 5: not quoting scripture. But God did say, this isn't this
• 26:41
  Speaker 5: is verbatim. He said, who told you that? And so
• 26:44
  Speaker 5: what that shows us? And I am an Old Testament lover,
• 26:48
  Speaker 5: New Testament lover, I am not a lover of the division.
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: That's the only thing. Like they are all cover to cover,
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: It's all relevant. God said to Adam, who told you that?
• 26:57
  Speaker 5: And so what that shows us is that we are
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: able to communicate with Satan's kingdom. They can talk to us.
• 27:05
  Speaker 5: It goes both ways. So the only two spiritual kingdoms
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: we talked to communicate with is God's Kingdom and Satan's Kingdom.
• 27:13
  Speaker 4: That's it.
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: That's it. And so when we are being communicated with,
• 27:19
  Speaker 5: we have to ask ourselves. And this is part of
• 27:20
  Speaker 5: the taking every thought captive. Who told me that? Who
• 27:24
  Speaker 5: told you that it would be better if you weren't alive?
• 27:27
  Speaker 5: Would would God tell you that. And then so the
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: first question is who told you that? The second question is,
• 27:33
  Speaker 5: would God, my father say this to me? And if
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: the answers know, then you have been communicated with by
• 27:41
  Speaker 5: Satan's kingdom, those rulers, principalities, workers of darkness. And so
• 27:46
  Speaker 5: Satan accuses He's called the accuser of the Brethren in scripture.
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: He accuses us, You're never going to be able to
• 27:52
  Speaker 5: carry the weight of your children's grief in Jared's passing,
• 27:56
  Speaker 5: You're never going to be successful, You're never going to
• 27:59
  Speaker 5: stay on your feet, You'll never eat more than five foods.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, you're going to be sick your whole life.
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: You'll never never come out of this.
• 28:06
  Speaker 5: And so when you learn the principle of asking who
• 28:09
  Speaker 5: told you that, all of a sudden, you're able to
• 28:12
  Speaker 5: take your thoughts captive. And I tell my children this
• 28:16
  Speaker 5: all the time, and now they tell their mother. But
• 28:18
  Speaker 5: you can only please one of two kingdoms. You are
• 28:22
  Speaker 5: either pleasing God's kingdom or you are pleasing Satan's kingdom.
• 28:27
  Speaker 4: And it was that black and white.
• 28:30
  Speaker 3: And when I realized it was literally that black and white,
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: that there is there's no in between, There none That
• 28:39
  Speaker 3: was profound for me because everything seemed so gray, and
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: when you put it in those circumstances, it was like,
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: it's really not. It was crystal clear, crystal clear. And
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: that leads me to another ashleyism. What you speak is
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: incredibly powerful, So talk about what comes up of our mouth.
• 29:01
  Speaker 5: Okay. So one of my most beloved verses that has
• 29:06
  Speaker 5: changed my life because of my struggles, and I was
• 29:09
  Speaker 5: very broken. This is not doctorate in theology coming to you,
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: like I'm a farm housewife, but I struggled a lot.
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: And one of the verses that changed my life was
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: Proverbs eighteen twenty one. It says there's power of life
• 29:25
  Speaker 5: and death in the tongue, and those that love it
• 29:27
  Speaker 5: will eat the fruit thereof. So power of life and
• 29:32
  Speaker 5: death means I can either speak death over a situation
• 29:36
  Speaker 5: or I can speak life over a situation and those
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: that love it. So whatever you speak or do, that's
• 29:43
  Speaker 5: going to be what you eat the fruit of. And so,
• 29:46
  Speaker 5: looking at my situation when I was diagnosed incapable of
• 29:50
  Speaker 5: ever having children, what I did at the time I
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: wish I had done differently, But what I did was
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: I started telling everybody I'll never have kids. I'll never
• 29:59
  Speaker 5: have kids now. Infertility is real, and I was actually
• 30:02
  Speaker 5: not capable of having children at the time. But the
• 30:05
  Speaker 5: mistake I made was speaking that over myself, accepting that
• 30:10
  Speaker 5: as the gospel, instead of surrendering that to the Lord
• 30:15
  Speaker 5: and saying taking it captive and saying, God, if this
• 30:19
  Speaker 5: is what you have willed for my life, I will
• 30:23
  Speaker 5: accept that and take my peace with this. However, if
• 30:28
  Speaker 5: it's not, I rebuke it, and I beg for you
• 30:31
  Speaker 5: to please show me your path to healing. Where is
• 30:36
  Speaker 5: the disconnect, what's the problem? Show me that and I'll
• 30:40
  Speaker 5: work to fix it. I didn't do that until much
• 30:44
  Speaker 5: longer later. But what you speak over yourself is so
• 30:49
  Speaker 5: powerful because God has given us the power, the same
• 30:54
  Speaker 5: power that raised him from the Jesus raised Jesus from
• 30:56
  Speaker 5: the dead. That power is inside of us when we've
• 30:58
  Speaker 5: accepted him our Lord and Savior, which we do by
• 31:02
  Speaker 5: praying God, I want to accept Jesus is my Lord
• 31:04
  Speaker 5: and Savior. Please forgive me and my sins. When we
• 31:07
  Speaker 5: pray that prayer and align ourselves with him, he gives
• 31:11
  Speaker 5: us the Holy Spirit, which is the power that raised
• 31:13
  Speaker 5: Jesus from the dead. Three days after his death. Okay,
• 31:16
  Speaker 5: this wasn't like lost of poles and got it back.
• 31:18
  Speaker 5: This is three days in the tomb. We have that
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: power inside of us. Now do we acknowledge that?
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: Not?
• 31:26
  Speaker 5: Always? Rarely even for some Do we appreciate the power
• 31:30
  Speaker 5: that that is? No, I don't think we even know
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: how to. But what we say is so powerful because
• 31:38
  Speaker 5: God says power of life and death are in the
• 31:41
  Speaker 5: tongue James in the Book of James. God keeps me
• 31:45
  Speaker 5: there a lot because it's about what you say. Talks
• 31:47
  Speaker 5: about how a ship has a small rudder, but it
• 31:50
  Speaker 5: steers the whole vessel. Yeah, a horse is controlled by
• 31:53
  Speaker 5: a bit in his mouth. It's a beast, right, But
• 31:57
  Speaker 5: you pull back on that bit and you've got a
• 31:59
  Speaker 5: massive beast stopping in its tracks. And so what we
• 32:04
  Speaker 5: have to condition ourselves. And I say a lot less
• 32:07
  Speaker 5: now after learning this scriptural truth, because I'm going to
• 32:12
  Speaker 5: have to give an account for every word spoken that's
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: in scripture. And also I don't want what I say
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: to become true a lot of times, like if I say,
• 32:21
  Speaker 5: and this is not me speaking as an example, if
• 32:24
  Speaker 5: I say my kids are driving me crazy, I can't
• 32:28
  Speaker 5: do this anymore. My kids are driving me crazy? Do
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: I want that to become truth? Do I want to
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: be institutionalized or heavily medicated because I get the diagnosis
• 32:38
  Speaker 5: of crazy. I can't do this anymore. What's the alternative
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: to that?
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: And quantum physics is catching up with this. Quantum physics
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: is absolutely verifying everything that Scripture said that our consciousness
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: is actively creating the fabric of our reality. And I'm like,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: that's God's design and as we think it, as we
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: speak it, we are creating the fabric of our reality.
• 33:09
  Speaker 3: It literally they've nailed it down to this idea in
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: quantum physics because I follow somebody on TikTok who is
• 33:16
  Speaker 3: theologian but also has like a degree in physics, and
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: so she's just showing how physics is basically confirming scripture
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: and how every atom that we are made up of,
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: and every atom that exists in the world has these
• 33:31
  Speaker 3: infinite possibilities, like it can these little things inside of
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: the atoms can spin in any direction, and it's controlled
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: literally by our thoughts and our spoken word and our behavior.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: And there's not even this like behavioral mediator like psychologist said, well,
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: we think a certain thing and so we act a
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: certain way and then that kind of brings the outcome,
• 33:52
  Speaker 3: and physics is backing that up and say, hey, it
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: doesn't even have to be about how you respond, but
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: the thoughts that turn into to the words we're speaking
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: into existence because God spoke the world into existence.
• 34:06
  Speaker 5: Words are very important think about. I mean, you know,
• 34:10
  Speaker 5: I don't know psychology, but you do. But I've heard
• 34:13
  Speaker 5: that your brain responds with chemicals, neurotransmitters, all the hormones
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: based on what it hears. You say yes, and when
• 34:21
  Speaker 5: you have a plant, they say, say good things to
• 34:24
  Speaker 5: your plant. Like words are powerful and if we could
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: see in the spirit realm, I mean, we get so
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: caught up looking lateral just you know, we think this
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: is it. Yeah, but man, you know, one of my
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: absolute most favorite parts of the Bible is when Elisha.
• 34:44
  Speaker 5: It's in the Old Testament. Obviously that's when he lived.
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: Elisha and his servant were surrounded by an enemy camp.
• 34:51
  Speaker 5: Elisha kept prophetically telling you know, when they were going
• 34:55
  Speaker 5: to be attacked, and so the opposing army was getting
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: really upset obviously because they were trying to capture you know,
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: and Elijah's thwarting their plans and it's so great the
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: story is. But they get cornered in a cave and
• 35:09
  Speaker 5: they're surrounded by you guys, thousands and thousands of these,
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: you know, this army, and the servant's freaking out naturally. Yeah, right,
• 35:20
  Speaker 5: and God, and so Elijah, I'm sorry. Praise to God,
• 35:23
  Speaker 5: and praise that God would open his servants' eyes to
• 35:27
  Speaker 5: see in the spirit unt and when he does, and
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: this story is with me almost every day because I
• 35:33
  Speaker 5: need this reminder. But when Elishah's servant is able to
• 35:37
  Speaker 5: see in the spirit realm, he sees just this host
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: of heaven that has come to war on their behalf.
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: And I have to think that in my house, like
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: I'm out numbered by these children. Like God, I know
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: there's more of you than what is coming against and
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: not my children, I mean, like the enemy coming against
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: me with accusation and fear and all this stuff. Like
• 36:00
  Speaker 5: I know that there is a host of heaven if
• 36:02
  Speaker 5: I could just see it, I know it's there warring
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: on my behalf, you know. And so the spirit realm
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: is so real. Our words are so important, you know.
• 36:13
  Speaker 5: The Bible says that with the same mouth we speak
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: blessings and curses and It shouldn't be this way, because
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: we are called to surrender our whole self to the Father.
• 36:22
  Speaker 5: That includes your mouth, you know, And so I go
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: back to you. You're only going to further one kingdom. Is
• 36:29
  Speaker 5: it going to be God's or is it going to
• 36:30
  Speaker 5: be the enemies? Because God's given us free will, but
• 36:35
  Speaker 5: we have to choose.
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: Yep.
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, The more you seek God's character, the easy it is,
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: the easier it is to trust him.
• 36:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah, tell us why. So God's never been wrong, He's
• 36:49
  Speaker 5: not evil, He's never made a mistake, and the you know,
• 36:56
  Speaker 5: one of the saddest things is that people's perception of
• 36:59
  Speaker 5: Him is shaped by imperfect people who maybe don't represent
• 37:05
  Speaker 5: the Father. Well, it's shaped by people who don't deliver
• 37:10
  Speaker 5: the message of Scripture well oftentimes, and so people I believe, Carrie,
• 37:15
  Speaker 5: these misconceived notions about who God is, who God has
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: always been, who God is gonna be, and they operate
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: and make really important life decisions based on very fractured
• 37:27
  Speaker 5: views of who God is. And so I grew up
• 37:31
  Speaker 5: in the Church and have really had to deconstruct a
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: lot of things. And nothing against the Church, but again,
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: I had to know God for myself. And one of
• 37:44
  Speaker 5: my biggest hang ups with this Western practice of religion
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: we see in America, and I can't speak to anywhere else,
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: but I see it a lot around where we are
• 37:56
  Speaker 5: is that we have such a deluded, watered down baby
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: formula version of God. We go to church and get
• 38:08
  Speaker 5: a quick pep talk, and we think that that's going
• 38:12
  Speaker 5: to carry us for the whole week when Ephesian six
• 38:14
  Speaker 5: tells us we're literally wrestling.
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: With Satan himself, yeah, and his kingdom every day, literally
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: every moment.
• 38:22
  Speaker 5: And we don't have a choice in this matter. And
• 38:24
  Speaker 5: if if you think you have a choice, you're like,
• 38:27
  Speaker 5: uh no, I'm not going to buy into that. You breathe,
• 38:31
  Speaker 5: so you've bought in, like whether you choose your life.
• 38:34
  Speaker 5: We don't need your permission or God does not need
• 38:35
  Speaker 5: your permission. And so you know, we think reading one
• 38:41
  Speaker 5: verse a day is going to be enough or even that,
• 38:44
  Speaker 5: I don't know, but our spirit is starving, and you know,
• 38:49
  Speaker 5: we need to know our father and whatever it is.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: If it's a broken father relationship on earth, you know.
• 38:56
  Speaker 4: Which I very much had, Yeah, and so did you.
• 38:59
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And a myriad of things. It could be a
• 39:04
  Speaker 5: pastor hurt you. It could be a grandfather abuse. I mean,
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: you name it. We see our heavenly Father very often
• 39:12
  Speaker 5: the way we see our earthly father, and that's very
• 39:14
  Speaker 5: unfortunate for the Lord.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: I know that, Sarah, you run into this a lot
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: in your practice. People come in with a lot of
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: religious trauma lots, and so it I mean, just speak
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: on that because I think it's important for maybe the
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: people who are listening, who maybe have some religious trauma
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: and are struggling to see things differently.
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: I think the first thing I try to tell them
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: is that God understands because religious people killed Jesus. He
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: understood Jesus had religious trauma. I mean, he died because
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: religious people killed him, right, And so just what Ashley
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: said that humans are fallible and they can be influenced
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: by the enemy, and they are always not going to
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: be a representation of who God is. And when we
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: put our trust in humans, we are instead of God
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: and seeking to know God for ourselves in that personal journey.
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: Then we're susceptible to the way that the enemy has
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: influenced that person, who is then influencing us. And so
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: it's God is always good all the time, every day,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: every moment, he's nothing but love and he is so
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: so good and it hurts God's heart to know that
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: other people have not represented him well. And that's why
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: he calls us into relationship with him, because that's when
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: he gets to reveal his goodness, right, And that's why
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: going back to the very person thing we talked about,
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: you are adamant.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: Now, I'm not just going to tell you who.
• 40:52
  Speaker 3: God is like I need you to go like you
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: go do it, because I do believe that God convicts
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: us all a little bit uniquely. He talks to us
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: in the way that we are going to hear him best.
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: He takes on whatever sort of way we need to
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: hear it that it's going to land with us.
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: I don't know how else to really describe that, but it's.
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: It's intimate, and yes, we have his word, but the
• 41:23
  Speaker 3: way in which he directs his conversation with us is
• 41:30
  Speaker 3: uniquely based on what we need exactly.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: And that's why you should trust it.
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: And that's why you can trust it and a lot
• 41:37
  Speaker 3: of people because he knows you. He knows you that will.
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: How do I know if it's God? My mom says
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: that to me all time. I don't know if it's God.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: And she really struggles with, well, maybe it's God's will
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to die of pancreatic cancer. And I'm like,
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: it's never God's will for you to have death and disease.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: Death and disease are a consequence of a fallen world?
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: Is his will for you to continually seek him? To
• 42:04
  Speaker 3: have hope, to have faith, and to love every day
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: that you have here on this earth, to love yourself
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: and to love others. I know those things are his will,
• 42:15
  Speaker 3: but you need to seek his. Well, how do I
• 42:18
  Speaker 3: know it's not his voice? Well, where does it say
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: in scripture that God wills you to die of a
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: miserable death from this awful disease we're in scripture? Does
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: he say, you know what I think I want for you?
• 42:30
  Speaker 5: Misery?
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: Misery and death and destruction. Now he wants us to
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: breathe life, he wants us to speak life. And of
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: course we're all going to go at some point. But well,
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: we're here to fulfill his purpose in our life. And
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: know where does he say, you know what your purpose is?
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: To be fearful, to be miserable, to have pain. It's
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: not that we're not going to have pain and suffering,
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: and I think that's one of the things that when
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: I try to connect with people, Why do bad things
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: happen to good people?
• 43:00
  Speaker 4: Well?
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: God very clearly answered this for me, and the way
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: that he described it to me personally was because we can't.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: You can maybe control your relationship with the enemy's kingdom,
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: but you can't control everybody else's relationship with the enemy's kingdom.
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: And that is always going to filter back and ripple
• 43:21
  Speaker 3: back to everybody in humanity. And so you know, if
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: you're asking why did you get cancer, Well, we live
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: in a toxic world that we created with our own
• 43:32
  Speaker 3: free will, right, We're putting these chemicals out there. We
• 43:35
  Speaker 3: participate in things that skew our immune system, like fear
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: and bitterness. Those things are documented in health psychology, studied
• 43:41
  Speaker 3: it in graduate school how they skew our immune system
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: and scripture and scripture, right, yeah, and scripture.
• 43:48
  Speaker 4: And so.
• 43:51
  Speaker 3: The cost of a fallen world is going to be
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: disease and death. But that's not what God wants for
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: us to die miserably. But what he will do for
• 44:03
  Speaker 3: us is he will redeem that suffering and he will
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: make it good. He will make it good but you
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: have to allow Him to make it good. And that
• 44:14
  Speaker 3: is what I tried to explain in our episode on
• 44:17
  Speaker 3: Hope the other week, was just that I never thought
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: I would be thankful for suffering, but without the suffering,
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: none of this would exist.
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: I would have no platform.
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: I would have no ability to tell the masses the
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: goodness of God, which I find to be one of
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: the most profound.
• 44:37
  Speaker 4: Bliss because I was so broken.
• 44:42
  Speaker 3: I know, and if I look back on that period
• 44:45
  Speaker 3: of my life, there was not a moment of suffering
• 44:48
  Speaker 3: that God has not redeemed and used for my good
• 44:52
  Speaker 3: and hopefully it helps somebody else.
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: I want y'all to tell the story about your mom, Ashley.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: That's special.
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: I mean, her mom prophesied over me. You tell it.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: It's better when when somebody else tells it, because then
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: people might not just think I'm making stuff up to
• 45:13
  Speaker 3: get the used.
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: Listen, my mom is phenomenal and she she loves the
• 45:20
  Speaker 5: Lord and has for a long time, since she was eighteen,
• 45:22
  Speaker 5: I believe was when she got saved. But we went
• 45:26
  Speaker 5: to be in Health, which is a conference in Thomaston, Georgia, amazing,
• 45:30
  Speaker 5: highly recommending. That's where I started learning a lot of
• 45:34
  Speaker 5: this stuff that led to my healing and stuff I
• 45:36
  Speaker 5: shared with you, a lot of it came from that ministry.
• 45:41
  Speaker 5: And when you decided to go to the week long
• 45:46
  Speaker 5: it's called for My Life conference, I just felt this
• 45:50
  Speaker 5: immense like she's going, like my baby's leaving, Like how
• 45:56
  Speaker 5: does she go without me? You know, and not in
• 45:59
  Speaker 5: like a weird way, but just like I wanted to
• 46:02
  Speaker 5: be with you, yeah, you know, to see it. I
• 46:04
  Speaker 5: knew you'd do fine. I mean, you're you're brilliant, but
• 46:07
  Speaker 5: I wanted to win with a you.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 46:10
  Speaker 5: It's like you've seen this person get up off the
• 46:14
  Speaker 5: floor and stand on their own two feet. You want
• 46:16
  Speaker 5: to watch them take their first steps, you know. And
• 46:19
  Speaker 5: so I told my husband, I was like, hey, Sarah's
• 46:23
  Speaker 5: going We've got a five month old and a bonus
• 46:26
  Speaker 5: baby and I got to go be away for a week,
• 46:29
  Speaker 5: Like what do you think?
• 46:30
  Speaker 4: And so.
• 46:33
  Speaker 5: We got to go to that retreat together and it
• 46:35
  Speaker 5: was incredible.
• 46:37
  Speaker 4: It was awesome.
• 46:38
  Speaker 5: I remember the moment your vision was healed.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: Tell everybody about that because we've mentioned that on the
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: podcast before. So just tell that story because you know
• 46:46
  Speaker 3: Rain has told it, I've told it, but you were
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: there to see it.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't see it. I just saw it when
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: you came back, and you were.
• 46:53
  Speaker 3: So unbelievable that I know that when I've talked about
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: it in the past or been people that have turned
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: off this podcast said she's a liar.
• 47:01
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna listen to her. I know that that's happened.
• 47:03
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And pro tip, don't argue with someone's testimony.
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: Very foolish.
• 47:09
  Speaker 5: You should not do that because what God does you
• 47:11
  Speaker 5: know in someone's life is very real. This was anyway,
• 47:16
  Speaker 5: So we were standing there and you know, with Abigail,
• 47:19
  Speaker 5: she was five months old, so I'm kind of I
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: was on the end of the row and I knew
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: your vision was a huge struggle. The blurriness and the
• 47:26
  Speaker 5: migraines and stuff, and so on the end of the
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: row with her, and I looked over and the way
• 47:33
  Speaker 5: they do this conference, do you just have to go
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: it's so good? And I looked, so they sorry, They
• 47:42
  Speaker 5: do a teaching and then they do a prayer of
• 47:43
  Speaker 5: deliverance and just cast out that stuff that you know,
• 47:48
  Speaker 5: if they're teaching on fear, they go through and pray
• 47:51
  Speaker 5: and the name of Jesus, we rebuke the spirit of fear.
• 47:53
  Speaker 5: It is a spirit two Timothy one to seven is
• 47:55
  Speaker 5: the receipt on that and whatever the principality that we're
• 48:00
  Speaker 5: learning about. They go through and do a prayer and
• 48:04
  Speaker 5: was it accusation? Was reprojection?
• 48:06
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 48:08
  Speaker 5: As soon as he prayed that prayer of deliverance, I
• 48:11
  Speaker 5: saw you kind of like move, and you know, I
• 48:16
  Speaker 5: just looked over and You're like looking and.
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: I'm like blinking, like yeah, I'm like, are you okay?
• 48:22
  Speaker 5: And you said I can see and I was like, no,
• 48:27
  Speaker 5: are you serious? And it was just this like weeping
• 48:31
  Speaker 5: came like you were like, I can see everything. It's
• 48:34
  Speaker 5: so clear. And so I'm bawling my eyes out because
• 48:38
  Speaker 5: I knew you with blurry vision and now you're telling me,
• 48:41
  Speaker 5: like I read that I earned that I could see everything.
• 48:45
  Speaker 4: You know that it was so profoundly disabling. Yeah, because
• 48:49
  Speaker 4: I couldn't do my job. I couldn't. It was the
• 48:51
  Speaker 4: worst trying to look at screens. That was the worst
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: part of it.
• 48:56
  Speaker 5: And and you were a professor at the time.
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, on all.
• 49:01
  Speaker 3: Using a screen for everything I did. And I was
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: struggling to work so much. It was so physically painful
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: to work but I had to keep working.
• 49:11
  Speaker 5: I mean there was no you know, what was more
• 49:13
  Speaker 5: debilitating than the blurriness was the rejection in your life.
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, because I didn't realize I had felt profoundly
• 49:20
  Speaker 3: rejected by my father. I had felt really rejected in gosh, Mom,
• 49:26
  Speaker 3: please don't take offense to this, but my mom just
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: did not know how to like really be emotionally attuned.
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: I mean, nobody ever taught her that. She didn't really know,
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: so she was more of just a really active service person.
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: But I needed like emotional attunement. I needed somebody to
• 49:40
  Speaker 3: really see me deeply. And my first husband, you know,
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: there was all the abuse, infidelity, and then it felt
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: like and his death felt like the biggest rejection, Like
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: then you went and died on me, dude, Like that's
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: what was going through my head, right, that was my
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: affliction of like you didn't just reject me in the marriage,
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: now you just reject to me for life.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: And you know, pick up the pieces.
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: Pick up the pieces and raise these children that are
• 50:05
  Speaker 3: going to be traumatized and are going to carry grief
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: and you're never going to be able to carry it through.
• 50:09
  Speaker 3: It's it's too much. God, can't restore it. You know
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: that that was the belief.
• 50:14
  Speaker 5: Right, So thank God for the physical affliction because it
• 50:20
  Speaker 5: brought you to a place where God could gut out
• 50:23
  Speaker 5: that spiritual.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: But sometimes I just wonder if like the blurry vision
• 50:26
  Speaker 3: was because I just couldn't see. I physically couldn't see,
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: but my spirit couldn't see the future. My spirit couldn't
• 50:34
  Speaker 3: see that I had a future that I had that
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: God had not harm me but to give me a life, right.
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: Which leads us back to your mom.
• 50:46
  Speaker 5: Okay, so yeah, that was a huge, huge moment when
• 50:54
  Speaker 5: your vision was restored. And at some point in the week,
• 50:58
  Speaker 5: I believe it was the last day we got through
• 51:00
  Speaker 5: the conference. But Mom, I just heard her telling you, Sarah,
• 51:07
  Speaker 5: you are going to speak to the masses. She said
• 51:10
  Speaker 5: that God has shown me that you were going to
• 51:13
  Speaker 5: have a platform and you're going to speak to the masses.
• 51:17
  Speaker 5: And I believed it. I mean I didn't know how
• 51:20
  Speaker 5: because you still weren't eating more than you know, your food,
• 51:24
  Speaker 5: few foods, and you had a long not time wise,
• 51:29
  Speaker 5: but you had a long way to go in healing. Yeah,
• 51:31
  Speaker 5: but God just like flew you to the front of
• 51:35
  Speaker 5: the class that week and so I believed it. And
• 51:41
  Speaker 5: you know, you've been so gracious to like keep me
• 51:43
  Speaker 5: posted on your success and your wins and losses too.
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: I mean, it hasn't all been you know, and there's
• 51:53
  Speaker 5: been some there's been some hard stuff, but you know
• 51:57
  Speaker 5: when you've told me certain wins and I don't know
• 51:59
  Speaker 5: what's public, so I won't give it example, but I'm
• 52:02
  Speaker 5: just like she speaks, yeah, you know, and I had
• 52:06
  Speaker 5: I don't even have TikTok. So Isaac was over and
• 52:09
  Speaker 5: I was like, hey, my friend Sarah is on TikTok
• 52:14
  Speaker 5: and I think she's got some followers. Will you look
• 52:16
  Speaker 5: her up? And I don't know what you're count maybe
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: like five hundred and fifty thousand, like you have a
• 52:20
  Speaker 5: lot more right, Yeah, okay, So he looks you up.
• 52:24
  Speaker 5: It was like just over half a million. He's like, bro,
• 52:28
  Speaker 5: she's legit. I was like, wow, Like she didn't tell
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: me a number. She just said, hey, I'm gaining followers
• 52:34
  Speaker 5: on TikTok because you're humble. But you know, then it's
• 52:38
  Speaker 5: like that prophecy has come true.
• 52:39
  Speaker 4: So it did. And within so what did we go
• 52:42
  Speaker 4: in June was it was.
• 52:43
  Speaker 3: Just in June of twenty one, and by the end
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: of August I was healed. Yeah, I was completely migraine
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: free and something that had disabled me for nearly a year.
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: And when I say disabled, I mean literally disabled. I
• 52:59
  Speaker 3: couldn't function, couldn't function, had to hire help to take
• 53:02
  Speaker 3: care of my kids. I had zero dollars. I was
• 53:05
  Speaker 3: a massive debt.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: My mom was sick with pancreatic cancer. I was trying
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: to care for her, but I really couldn't give her
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: as much of the care as she needed because I
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: had these grieving kids. And then I was disabled. My
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: dog died. The man that I thought I was in
• 53:20
  Speaker 3: love with at the time, which gosh. We talked about that.
• 53:23
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you for your protection, for your protection.
• 53:28
  Speaker 3: And then and then I met Donald. Right after my healing,
• 53:31
  Speaker 3: I met Donald. Ye, like we'll talk about like God
• 53:35
  Speaker 3: just restoring loss.
• 53:38
  Speaker 5: And listen, he had a massive assignment for you. You
• 53:42
  Speaker 5: needed to get healed really quick because you are out
• 53:45
  Speaker 5: here doing kingdom work and he did not have any
• 53:48
  Speaker 5: more time for you to waste being sick. Yeah, because
• 53:51
  Speaker 5: you are so much more effective for the kingdom. Well,
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: you are on a huge assignment and I love watching
• 53:59
  Speaker 5: it too. And Donald. She came home that night and
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: told me she was going to marry you.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: Just I remember no, and I said, I would never
• 54:08
  Speaker 3: give anybody else this advice in a million years to
• 54:12
  Speaker 3: bank on marrying somebody. But God spoke it so crystal
• 54:17
  Speaker 3: clear to me. He said this is your husband. And
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: I said, okay, God, is it okay if I still
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: proceed with caution? And he said, do what you must.
• 54:26
  Speaker 3: But I'm telling you, this is your husband. And he
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: will be a spiritual covering, and he will be a
• 54:34
  Speaker 3: physical protector, and he will love your children. And he
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: just adopted my children legally, they changed their name to
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: honor him and the work he's put in. To show up,
• 54:48
  Speaker 3: because he shows up, he shows all.
• 54:50
  Speaker 4: Does he show up?
• 54:51
  Speaker 1: Does?
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: He's such a good husband and such a good father
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: and such a godly person. And it's like, no matter
• 55:02
  Speaker 3: what I have, I could be on that last day
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: of my cycle and getting ready to start my period
• 55:10
  Speaker 3: and feel kind of like a crazy person. And he
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: is not going to let the devil live in my head.
• 55:17
  Speaker 4: He will refuse it.
• 55:18
  Speaker 3: He'll say that is the devil, and I rebuke that
• 55:21
  Speaker 3: over you in Jesus name, And I'm gonna pray over
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: you and I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna bring that
• 55:27
  Speaker 3: bring you back. And my gosh, is that not supposed
• 55:32
  Speaker 3: to be the role of a husband.
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: He's like, I'm not going to.
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: Let the devil come between me, come come in front
• 55:41
  Speaker 3: of my wife. You have to go through me first.
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: And that is bigger than like the pew pew and
• 55:48
  Speaker 3: the gun safe beside the bed. You know, it's it's strong.
• 55:54
  Speaker 5: A strong covering is but even like the way you're
• 55:58
  Speaker 5: describing Donald, it's wonderful. But God's even more than that, yes,
• 56:05
  Speaker 5: and people are missing it. You know. One thing that
• 56:09
  Speaker 5: has been the most life changing thing that I've read
• 56:14
  Speaker 5: recently is a work book called Experiencing God. It's a
• 56:18
  Speaker 5: bout Henry Blackaby. It's over I think thirty years old.
• 56:21
  Speaker 5: It came out in the nineties and it's all about
• 56:26
  Speaker 5: knowing God's character. If anyone has not read that, I'd
• 56:30
  Speaker 5: say it's a must for believers.
• 56:32
  Speaker 4: Let's put it in the show notes.
• 56:34
  Speaker 5: Experiencing God. That changed my life. God really did a
• 56:40
  Speaker 5: lot in my life through that, and that was recently.
• 56:42
  Speaker 5: I got to teach it at my church and he
• 56:45
  Speaker 5: kept me in that book for two years and it's
• 56:46
  Speaker 5: just a little work book.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: So oh, I love that. That makes it easy because
• 56:49
  Speaker 2: its one of the best books I've ever read. I
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: think we've mentioned it before, but it's called The Inner
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: Voice of Love.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: Yes, and I'd get it to use.
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's just one that you can kind of
• 56:57
  Speaker 2: pick up and read excerpts. It's his journal entries written
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: by a priest and they're so beautiful and they're so
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: profound and they're so perspective shifting when you read them.
• 57:06
  Speaker 2: And i mean, obviously it's through God. And that book
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: changed my life. Yeah, changed in my life profoundly. Yeah,
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: that's one of your recommendations that.
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: We'll link that.
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we will, and I hope. Do you have any
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: more Ashleys?
• 57:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, I have a lot, but to get through a few.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: I'm going to try to pick a few. What he
• 57:27
  Speaker 3: can what God can do for one, he can do
• 57:29
  Speaker 3: for another. This was huge for me and this was
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: this we'll tag that onto the Hope episode that came
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: out a couple of weeks ago.
• 57:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, I'm sitting here on the other side
• 57:39
  Speaker 5: when we were starting to talk. I was on the
• 57:41
  Speaker 5: other side of a lot of what you were going
• 57:42
  Speaker 5: through My physical condition was very similar in a lot
• 57:48
  Speaker 5: of respects, and I was able to tell you. And
• 57:51
  Speaker 5: I think God does this because he wants us to
• 57:53
  Speaker 5: give hope to those who are not as far along
• 57:56
  Speaker 5: in the journey of healing and healing, not just physical
• 58:01
  Speaker 5: but healing and whatever, addiction or you know whatever. I
• 58:07
  Speaker 5: feel like there was so much value in me because
• 58:10
  Speaker 5: you just kept saying, are you sure you were as
• 58:13
  Speaker 5: sick as I am? Are you sure that you were
• 58:15
  Speaker 5: as bad off as me? Because I feel like nobody
• 58:18
  Speaker 5: could be this bad off, And I think the enemy
• 58:20
  Speaker 5: one says to always believe ron An Island, and no
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: one has ever had it as bad, been as sick,
• 58:26
  Speaker 5: been as far down long gone as we are, right,
• 58:30
  Speaker 5: And so I just will never forget you asking me
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: to vouch for where I had come from, because you
• 58:36
  Speaker 5: were looking at me going there's no way, there's no
• 58:39
  Speaker 5: way you were this bad because of where you are now.
• 58:42
  Speaker 5: And so it's you know, it's been a song this
• 58:47
  Speaker 5: and it's actually in revelation. God should get credit first.
• 58:50
  Speaker 5: But the spirit of prophecy is the testimony or the
• 58:55
  Speaker 5: testimony of Jesus as the spirit of prophecy, and so
• 58:58
  Speaker 5: you know, what what God wants us to know is
• 59:02
  Speaker 5: that he is able. That name I am means nothing lacks.
• 59:08
  Speaker 5: I am your vestibular migraine healer. I am your anxiety healer.
• 59:14
  Speaker 5: Like fill in the blanks, and so I am just
• 59:18
  Speaker 5: leaves room for I am your endometriosis healer. I'm your
• 59:21
  Speaker 5: infertility healer. I'm your you know, grieving mother who just
• 59:25
  Speaker 5: lost a baby, you know, healer, like that's I am.
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: And so it gives us so much hope when we
• 59:31
  Speaker 5: see someone who has gone through the fires of hell
• 59:36
  Speaker 5: and come out, you know, and they may still smell
• 59:39
  Speaker 5: like smoke, but God brought them through that. I think
• 59:42
  Speaker 5: that He uses that so often as that hope because
• 59:47
  Speaker 5: it can't always open scripture and find that hope. Sometimes
• 59:50
  Speaker 5: we need to actually, I mean we should be able to,
• 59:52
  Speaker 5: but wherever we are in our walks, sometimes that doesn't work.
• 59:55
  Speaker 5: So we need to be able to have like a
• 59:56
  Speaker 5: tangible Okay, it worked for you, Hey, tell me how,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 5: you know? And what was so crucial, which this was,
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 5: you know, something my mentor shared with me. She was
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: going through a really hard situation and she shared this
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 5: with me a few times. But then it was it
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 5: really mattered when we lost our son in twenty nineteen,
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 5: that you may not get the resolution to your hard
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 5: situation this side of eternity. The goal is to find
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 5: peace even if you don't, because if your peace rests
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 5: on healing, success, saving that marriage, finding that love, that
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: has become an idol. And you have placed the obtaining
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 5: that in front of God. I surrender, and whether I
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 5: get it the side of eternity or not, I'm going
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 5: to follow you. And that became very real in my
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 5: life when I had to make a choice do I,
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 5: you know, do I surrender my grief in my bitterness
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 5: and I want to be mad at God right now,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 5: or do I be a real believer not this water down,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 5: deluted version, fair weather friend to the Savior and say,
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 5: I know you could have saved him, but you didn't.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 5: This is my son. I know you could have. I'm
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 5: going to follow you anyways.
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that was the part of your testimony. Didn't really
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 3: share what you lost a child? Yeah, and that we've
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 3: talked about that before is one of the most profoundly
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 3: painful things a human can go through.
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 5: And God, but let me say this, I got to
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 5: know God deeper in that situation than anything else in
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 5: my life, and what I gained in relationship with him
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 5: far outweighed what I lost, because I know I'll see
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 5: Josiah again. But what I gained, this of eternity has
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 5: sustained me through some really hard things. Even since that's happened,
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 5: and it has, God's used it to speak to other
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 5: women who are not as far along in their journey
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 5: of grieving the loss of a child. God uses everything.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 5: There is nothing lost in the Kingdom, nothing nothing in
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 5: your story. There was not a day you were sick
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 5: that God has not used to bring hope and the
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 5: story of His goodness to those around you. There's nothing
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 5: lost in the Kingdom.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 4: Nothing.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: And that is what I try to tell people when
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 3: they are in such profound suffering, that God will not
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 3: waste this for you. The God we serve will not
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 3: waste this for you. Where But when people don't see
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 3: their redemption, it's because they're turned towards the enemy, and
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 3: the enemy is so loud, and they're so afflicted by
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 3: those principalities that the enemy. You know, you can't hear
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: God when you're turned away from God. That's one of
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 3: the most profound things I learned is you have to
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 3: be turned toward God and really with an open and
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: repented heart. That's because that is when His voice is clear.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 3: You can't be over here believe in the lies of
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 3: the enemy and you know, drowning in your sin. You
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: have to to come humbly and with a repentant and
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 3: open heart, with ears to listen.
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 5: And anyone who thinks they have God figured out is
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 5: sadly mistaken.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 4: Yes, oh my goodness to you, because if.
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 5: You're not open, if you tell God or tell anyone,
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 5: God doesn't do that for people, or God doesn't operate
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 5: in this way. We have no business telling God or
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 5: anyone else who and how it operates into a complete conclusion.
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 3: And this is gonna, you know, at the risk of
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 3: getting Recanceled's canceled the other week about Charlie Kirk.
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 4: It's fine, we found our people.
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, the people's cleansing. Yeah, it's the righteous cleansing,
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 3: so cleanse away. God told me triple down.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, He'll take care of the consequences.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 4: So he did not. He did not.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 3: We had our record breaking sales days after I got
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: quote unquote canceled, momentarily canceled right and there are people
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 3: found us and brought us, lifted us right back up.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: But I had this discussion with somebody online and putting
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 3: it out here on the podcast again is risky, but
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: I don't care because God's like op speak it, so
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 3: here you go. God doesn't make accidental people. And when
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: there was the Charlie Kirk stuff and his whole thing
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 3: about when he said if your daughter was raped, and
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 3: how would you make Kurt, he would say, well, that
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 3: child would be delivered. That was his answer, right, And
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: then it got this firestorm of how how would you
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 3: let somebody suffer like that? And what I tried to
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: explain to somebody who was so attacking me online for
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 3: supporting Charlie Kirk, like how could you support this response?
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: And what I said was, I know it's hard for
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 3: you to fathom that you could have a faith so
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: profound in God that you believe that he would use
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: this tragedy for the greater good. But when you know
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: that that's who God is, you can one hundred percent
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 3: understand that that life passed through his hands and that
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 3: that suffering that that child would endure would be used
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 3: for his kingdom to glorify God and to could redeem
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: and save her in a way that we can't even imagine.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 5: Well, let me just add a little depth to this
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 5: and tell you that it's only by the grace of
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 5: God that my mom was not aborted in the fifties. Yeah,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 5: it is only by the grace of There was a
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 5: plane crash involved in saving her life.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 5: I mean, and there were a couple opportunit unities where
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 5: she was nearly aborted.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: And think about that, and think about then if you
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 3: wouldn't have been here, I wasn't here, then I wouldn't
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: have had this voice, and my children and your children
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 3: and then your children's children, and the butterfly effects of
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: one life.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 5: And it was not an abortion of convenience. I mean
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 5: there was. It was a bad situation. And for you know,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 5: I haven't asked her permission to share this, but just
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 5: to put it into perspective, who you hear right now
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 5: could have been wiped out? And so then who are
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 5: we not hearing? You know, like, every life has value,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 5: even the most unlikely situation like my mom's when she
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 5: was in the whim.
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 3: It's just it's hard for those people who don't believe
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: that God could redeem the most horrible, awful of circumstances
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 3: because he can and he will, and he wants, he
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: wants to.
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 4: But you have to.
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 5: Think God's mad at them and disappointed in them, and
• 1:07:11
  Speaker 5: he's and being a parent has shown me God's nature
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 5: so much because I watched my children struggle and I
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 5: just I'm waiting for them to say, Mom, you help baby, Yes,
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 5: we have business to get to. Let's go, let's get this.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 5: But if they were like, I don't want your whole
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 5: timeless you. I should know how to do this already,
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 5: I'm like.
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 1: Get real, right, let me help you, and let's.
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 5: Get about where we're going. You know, I want to
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 5: help my children.
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 3: And God is craving a connection with you. He will
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: not stop chasing you until the day you die, and
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 3: he will never leave nor forsake you. And I think
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 3: one of the most profound things is we we try
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 3: to turn away from God, but He doesn't turn from
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 3: us here on this earth. And so when you're open
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 3: to turning towards him, and I think we'll just wrap
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 3: this up with the best piece of advice that you
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 3: gave me that profoundly changed my life and created everything
• 1:08:08
  Speaker 3: that you see I do here on all these different platforms.
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 3: Is because I sought the character of God, and that
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 3: was really.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 4: All I did. That's all I did.
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: There was no other magic formula, but see who God is,
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 3: and that unraveled every ounce of my faith and every
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 3: ounce of His glory was shown through that effort. But
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: I had to choose it with my own free will.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: That was the gift that God gives us. So you
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 3: have to choose it with your own free will. It
• 1:08:42
  Speaker 3: doesn't just land on your plate. Because we have that
• 1:08:45
  Speaker 3: gift of free will, so we have the ability to
• 1:08:48
  Speaker 3: turn away from it and turn towards the kingdom of
• 1:08:50
  Speaker 3: darkness and swim in the kingdom of darkness and worship
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: the Kingdom of darkness. And a lot of us, myself included,
• 1:08:59
  Speaker 3: are so far into the Kingdom of darkness, and we.
• 1:09:03
  Speaker 4: Had no idea.
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 3: I had no idea how far deep I was in
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 3: enemy territory. And God released me and relinquished that and
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 3: redeemed every ounce of suffering and has used it for
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: good because that is in his word, It is his promise,
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: And it doesn't mean I won't suffer.
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 4: I have suffered. Last year was a profound year of
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 4: suffering for me.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 3: You know, and it's humbling when you have like a
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 3: lot of redemption to suffer again.
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 4: But he's using it again of course.
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 3: Because he's that's what he does, because that's the God
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 3: that we serve, because God is good all the time.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: And so I'm just going to leave it at that,
• 1:09:42
  Speaker 3: and thank you for being here, Ashley, and.
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you to every single word.
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: Think about when you're in the depths of hell hearing
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: this beautiful voice that is so profound.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: I will say I had a beautiful friend that God
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: sent me to and you know, during my rock bottom,
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 2: Darla heflin, you know, shout out, Darla, I love you.
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 2: That was very similar, you know, and had all the
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 2: wisdom and you know, all the scripture and that. But
• 1:10:11
  Speaker 2: yet I say that to say, you can have all
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: the scripture, and you can have all the knowledge, and
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: but how you live it right and and when you're
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 2: a true testament of how you live your life, that's
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 2: really what speaks volumes and and you're just such a
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 2: beautiful person. And this was such a beautiful episode, and
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, I feel I feel humbled. I don't know,
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 2: that's the only way I can describe it. Walking away
• 1:10:38
  Speaker 2: from this from this episode is just I feel so
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 2: like and yet on fire, you know, like it just
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 2: makes me want to be even more on fire in
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 2: my faith and in my belief and.
• 1:10:49
  Speaker 1: In seeking God and then speaking.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: About him, you know, because that's something I can openly
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 2: admit that I've struggled with in the past. Is like, well,
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: like you described, like, I don't want to offend any
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 2: even with my own husband, you know. And and then
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: but you know, I get more and more courageous all
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: the time where I'm like, no, this is I will
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 2: speak about it because it's so powerful and the ways
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 2: that Gosh, I mean, the ways that he's even shown
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 2: up in my life, you know that I've spoken about
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 2: on the podcast before. You know, I think that we can,
• 1:11:22
  Speaker 2: all three of us, can sit here and just be
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 2: a true testament that if you know, to any of
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 2: our listeners who are struggling, it's real.
• 1:11:30
  Speaker 1: It is and it's so powerful.
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 4: You can't even put words to it.
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 3: You can't even but it does words do none of
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 3: it justice, No, none of it justice.
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 4: You have to experience it for yourself.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 3: But what I want people to know is that it's
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 3: available to everyone, to every human that eats and breathes
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 3: on this earth.
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 5: It is available, and their testimony may not look like you,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 5: It might not look like God may not bring them
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 5: in Ashley or a Darla. But my encouragement would be
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 5: get your face in scripture. And you know, we say
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 5: we want more of him, but that's gonna involve less
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: of you. And you gave a lot of yourself up
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 5: to have more of him.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: I did, and a lot. You know, I don't regret
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 4: none of it.
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 5: How could you. God's redeemed too much to look back
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 5: and regret. But you know there's I always say, like
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 5: my favorite PARTI is one of my favorites. But in Ezekiel,
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 5: God shows Ezekiel a vision. Ezekiel was a prophet, and
• 1:12:29
  Speaker 5: he shows him the word of God on a scroll,
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 5: and he says, eat the scroll and be ready to
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 5: speak on my behalf when the time comes. That's a paraphrase,
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: and I didn't you know quote that, but that's the thing.
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 5: And Ezekiel says, he ate the scroll and it was
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 5: sweet as honey, and he took it down to his stomach.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 5: And this happens again in Revelation. But Ezekiel is where
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 5: God really highlighted this for me. Last year. And I
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 5: think a massive injustice that this Western exercise of religion is,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 5: you know, seeing is we are not eating the scroll,
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 5: we are not taking God's word in in massive amounts.
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 5: And we read a little bit and say I don't
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 5: understand it, and you know, check out doing experiencing God
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 5: last year. This was not part of the book. But
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 5: God led me through, like you need to be eating
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 5: the scroll. How do you expect to be this like
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 5: strong soldier in my army when you don't even consume
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: enough you know, proteins trending right now, but like scripture
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 5: if we call scripture protein, like you're not even taking
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 5: enough meat in to be this like you know, chiseled warrior.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 5: And so I made a commitment. I was gonna read
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 5: five chapters a day minimum until I got through the
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 5: whole Bible. I wanted to know his character more than
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 5: I knew. And I'm telling you I have never encountered
• 1:13:53
  Speaker 5: that kind of radical like scuba dive with the Lord is.
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 5: When I started reading that much scripture day now, me
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 5: time on my phone. It cost me time, you know, wasted, really,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: that's all it was. But I had to make space
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 5: for him by moving some of my flesh out.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: Did you do this in conjunction with the book Experiencing God?
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 5: I went to my Wednesday night class and I was like,
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 5: guess what, guys, I have some homework for you and
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 5: I'm going to do it too. And it just started
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 5: and I was like, five chapters a day. We're going
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 5: to be serious about this. We're going to get to
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 5: know him. And you cannot know him if you don't
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 5: read his love letter to you. Right, That's what scripture is.
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 5: It's just this love letter for his people. And so
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 5: a lot of them started doing it with me. It's
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 5: not a sign in the book, and it's nowhere insinuated
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 5: in the books. So don't be afraid of the book,
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 5: because this was just something God showed me in scripture,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 5: and he showed me this is a major problem with
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 5: his people is that we are not consuming his word
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 5: in high doses we read a devotional got to start somewhere.
• 1:14:55
  Speaker 5: But you also have to grow, right, you have to
• 1:14:59
  Speaker 5: quit doing the baby things when you're a toddler, you know.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: And the thing of it is is God's word is
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 3: sometimes it's going to be offensive to the flesh.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 4: I hate to say that that is quoting Charlie Kirk.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: But it well, it's offensive, right, and and so everybody's
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 3: offended all the time.
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 4: Everybody is so offended.
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 5: And there's a spirit of offense. Read the bit of Satan.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 4: It's so good. Spirit of offense, exactly right.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 3: And there's pride and there's all these things that are
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: and we want to twist God's word to Well, then
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 3: you're not loving if you, you know, if you see
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 3: somebody making a bad choice. And I don't like to
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 3: pick on specific sins because bitterness in the heart, fear,
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: fear and fear faith, you know, And I never really
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 3: understood that. So I don't think that it's righteous to
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: go point at people that are like this, is this
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: sin is the worst sin? Now?
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 4: Absolutely not.
• 1:16:05
  Speaker 3: But it's like, well, if you stand against this, if
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: you say that this thing is sinful, then you're hateful.
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 3: We're living in that world if you say this thing,
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 3: and then you must hate that person too because they
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: engage in that sin. Well, I don't hate people that
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: are walking around with fear. I hate people that are
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: walking around with jealousy and envy. I don't hate anybody.
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 3: I am called to not hate people. I'm called to
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 3: love people. But also I equate this with boundaries, right,
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 3: because I tell people all the time, enabling someone else's
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: bad behavior is also not love love. It's opposite of love.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 3: And so am I going to like jump in their
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: life and be like, you can't be doing this. No,
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 3: I'm also not going to do that. But if you
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 3: put me on the spot and you ask me to
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: defend my belief, I'm called to do that.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 4: True love and true love corrects.
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 5: And you don't let your kid un out in the
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 5: street because you don't want to hurt their feelings. You
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 5: got to tell them, hey, that's dangerous. You're taking a
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 5: gamble with your life, and okay, but in the spare around,
• 1:17:14
  Speaker 5: you're taking a gamble with your eternity if you participate
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 5: in this. You know, like, I correct my children because
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 5: I love them. I want them to be successful and
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 5: safe and not in that order, safe and then successful,
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 5: you know what I mean. But we correct those we love.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 5: God corrects us because he loves us, because he loves us,
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 5: because without rules, it's bad.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 3: Means yeah, because when we follow God's direction, it leads
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 3: to the least amount of pain.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 4: Again, we can't help.
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 3: Other people's walk with God, or participation in the evil Kingdom.
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 3: But we can control at least our own, you know.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 3: And we're gonna fall short, over and over and over
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: and over.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 4: We're going to fall.
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 3: We're gonna fall short. But I believe that God sees
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 3: our heart, and I think that he cherishes our growth,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 3: and I think he cherishes every step we take that
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 3: glorifies the kingdom, and.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 5: He honors our obedience.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 3: I am way less concerned with offending someone on earth
• 1:18:20
  Speaker 3: than offending God. I'm way more concerned with being offensive
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 3: to God than I am to anyone out there who
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 3: hears me speak. So I'll say it loud and proud.
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 3: If I have offended you, I am not as concerned
• 1:18:33
  Speaker 3: with that as I am with offending my creator, who
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 3: saved my life and redeemed my suffering and who has
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: shown me that he is real and that he is powerful.
• 1:18:45
  Speaker 3: And my life is going to be dedicated to making
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 3: him happy above anyone else. And so it's okay if
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 3: you turn and never listen to me again. It's not
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: gonna hurt my feelings.
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: You know, maybe listen and just know. But no matter what,
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 2: You're welcome here, a.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 4: Welcome, welcome, stay.
• 1:19:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we want you to stay because this is our mission,
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 2: this is the ultimate mission.
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 1: Above it all.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 3: I had to hear some really hard truths from Ashley
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: that my flesh did not want to hear. I did
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 3: not want to hear some of the things that you
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: had to say. But God, I do think supernaturally shielded
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 3: me from a fence because pretty much every belief system
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: I had coming into this journey with you was turned
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: on its head.
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 4: And so look at the glory. Look at the glory.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and so if anybody wants to challenge my testimony,
• 1:19:41
  Speaker 3: that's on you. My testimony is real to me and
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 3: I will live it out every day and I will
• 1:19:46
  Speaker 3: talk about it every day. And we do get reviews
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 3: that are like one star, don't talk these people talk
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: about God, you know, don't get on that podcast.
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 1: How about Jesus?
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, okay, we love Jesus, you know, I do.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: Is it? He's like anything that comes out of my
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 3: mouth turns one person to God, right, lay me down here.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: And we've also gotten those reviews, so it's fun, you know.
• 1:20:09
  Speaker 2: And that's those are the ones that I say.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 3: I went to church for the first time, I opened
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 3: my Bible for the first time. Something that you said
• 1:20:15
  Speaker 3: made me pray for the first time.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 5: You may be finding Sarah's out there and Raina's. You
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 5: may be the Darla and Ashley and it's just this, Psycha.
• 1:20:24
  Speaker 5: God's not done. He's not gonna be this long time.
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 2: What a beautiful thing. So gosh, we're just gonna have
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: to have you on again because we will. I mean,
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 2: this is this has just been so good and.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 1: We're so grateful.
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 2: And of course, you know, Ashley's a housewife living on
• 1:20:42
  Speaker 2: the farm out here, you know, And so I can't
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: tell you where to find her. She's gonna have to
• 1:20:48
  Speaker 2: come back here and that's where you're gonna find her.
• 1:20:50
  Speaker 2: But of course you can find doctor Hinsley at the
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: lovedog dot com or on any of her social media
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: handles at doctor Sarah Hensley. For all of our listeners,
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 2: we offer a promo code of twenty seven person off,
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 2: which is our lucky number, and you can use that
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 2: for any of her services online at the lovedoc dot com.
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 2: And then yeah, just keep tuning in.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 5: Guys.
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 2: We love you guys so much. Please leave us a review,
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 2: give us some feedback, write to us. I read every
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: single email.
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 3: We're so thankful for every single email, for sticking with
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: us and listening to us, and yes, just supporting us
• 1:21:22
  Speaker 3: along the way because you are the reason that we
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 3: can keep speaking. Yeah, thank you, so grateful, so grateful.
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 3: So please keep tuning in and until next time, peace,
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 3: love and perspective.