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Impermanence and Transformation - Hogen Roshi · Zen Community of Oregon Dharma Talks

• 0:00
  Jomon: Hello and welcome. This is the Zen Community of Oregon, making the teachings of the Buddhadharma accessible to support your practice. New episodes air every week.
• 0:24
  Hogen: Thank you all for being here. There's lots going on in our community, and I appreciate everybody showing up this evening. I hope some of you got to hear Chosen's Way Seeking Mind talk part two yesterday. Chosen is the one of the other senior teachers in our community. She's been around for decades, and she gave part two of a a long talk about her life.
• 0:48
  She's 80 now, so she had a lot of life to have lived. And we do A Way Seeking Mind talk is a time anybody, any of us, can take our life and reflect on our whole life has been a search for freedom, liberation, peace, and happiness. And when we actually can view our life and all the crazy mistakes that we made as teenagers and young people and all the the the dead ends that we seem to have had and the failures and and we begin to look at them all in a context of this is my my odyssey toward truth. This is my odyssey. This is the path that I've practiced and walked.
• 1:30
  When we begin to to turn our view of our life from, boy, I really made a bunch of mistakes. I really screwed up. Well, I really am inadequate into, wow, it's all part of the great mystery. It's all part of this aspiration that I have to be whole and complete and to to find liberation and to find peace. Every single bit of it.
• 1:54
  So periodically, we do way seeking mind talks, and some people in here have done them, and there will be more of them coming up. But it's a wonderful opportunity to reflect upon our life with this fresh, fresh view. Nothing is broken. Nothing was wrong. Everything is a process of learning.
• 2:12
  Everything is a process of evolution and growth. And when we can truly appreciate the life that we live right now, we truly appreciate the fact that we can breathe right here, we then have the capacity to appreciate everything that led up to it. If we can't really appreciate in this life, we keep thinking, oh, there's a better life of mine somewhere else. Oh, yes, this is okay, but there's a better me someplace else, which isn't true. Then until we get that appreciation of this life, loving kindness and satisfaction, then it's hard to see our whole life in that way.
• 2:55
  If we think, oh, the the right in here right now is so broken and so flawed, we can't see our life as all steps into the perfection of this moment. But when we realize this moment is actually where we've been aiming for, everything we've done has been aiming for right here, it somehow shifts how we view our life. So I think Chosen is gonna because of her her decades and decades of being part of the community and practicing, I think she's gonna end up doing at least three parts, maybe four parts every twenty years as a a new life in a way. So right now, she just finished up until we moved to Portland and started Great Vow and Larch Mountain and Heart of Wisdom. Some of you are in the next part of the We Seeking Mind Talk for what that's worth.
• 3:47
  And then yesterday, Kosho and Shojaku and Kodo and other people all did the 24 chant for peace or the twelve hour chant for peace. We started back at Great Vow back in 02/1934, I forgot when, doing the twenty four hour chant for peace. So we would start on in those days, we started Friday night. We'd chant all night Friday night, all day Saturday, we'd end Saturday night. And we had, you know, we have different faith groups come and and lead a chant for forty five minutes, and we do walking for fifteen minutes, and the next group starts off.
• 4:24
  And it's a marvelous experience to actually feel the the the vibrational quality of each of these different traditions in a very, very rich and intimate way. The first year we did it, we had the good fortune of a woman named Madhojya Chittanan who happened to be passing through, and somehow we encountered her. She had been a part of Krishnadas, the great contemporary Kirtan singer, part of his group, and she had been in India. And she had said she had done Kirtan with a 100,000 people in India. 100,000 people in India at one time.
• 5:00
  Well, she came and we did the chant for peace. We started on Friday night, the first time for all of us. We we did it. We ended on Saturday night, and she said, hey, we got lots of energy. Let's keep going.
• 5:11
  So we chant for twenty seven hours the very first time because she was so incredibly dynamic, and she just kept us kept us going. Anyhow, that just happened this last the twelve hour version, which is the in Portland, in here at the Heart of Wisdom Temple version. Is twelve hours. Twelve hours is a little more accessible because we do have accommodations for people to sleep, whereas up at the monastery, we do. And then next week up at the monastery, Eduardo Zambrano is coming, who's Eduardo is one of my senior people.
• 5:49
  And Eduardo and I and have been doing the work at the monastery and kind of combining the work and meditation for a bunch of years. He'll be there, and then we do a Jesus to Shen with with Chosen and Jomon. So, you know, one one thing after another after another. The best the best the best retreats long Sichen, long retreats for people to come to if you haven't done them are probably Grasses and Trees in August or the Jizo Sichen. It's a little bit shorter and a little lighter schedule.
• 6:25
  And my favorite retreat is the October 1, which is a heavy duty one. It's ten days, and that's we're only letting experience who are people who have experience come to that because it's you know, there's there's things you go through when you're a beginner, and this particular retreat is not for beginners. And the annual dinner, and then more retreats, and more Thanksgiving, and the year is over. It's already over. It seems like Christmas was just here a few minutes ago.
• 7:00
  For these talks, I've been continuing to use Thich Nhat Hanh's The Art of Living as the kind of foundational thread that we've been working with. And the chapter that we're working on with right now is a chapter entitled impermanence. Impermanence. It could be a chapter entitled transformation. Because impermanence just basically means everything is flowing.
• 7:28
  There is no opposite to impermanence. There is no opposite to impermanence. There is nothing that is not there's there's nothing that is not flowing. Impermanence is simply a perspective. You know, it looks as though this is hot, solid, and hard, and, you know, functionally, it works that way.
• 7:48
  And yet, with the the inside of time, with the inside of science, the ability to look deeply into things, everything is flowing, changing, is is twitching. The thing I most like, I think I mentioned before, is if you have a glass of water, you look at a glass of water in a clear clear glass, it looks like it's very stable and still, but it's actually swirling inside. You put one drop of ink in it, it swirls and moves. Everything is in motion constantly. Everything is transforming constantly.
• 8:22
  So that's a very interesting practice. It's a very direct practice. Everything is transforming. We're never stuck. We encounter a dead end.
• 8:33
  It is transforming. It is moving. We encounter a situation with government or with poverty or a situation with the earth. It's transforming. The earth is dynamic.
• 8:44
  The earth is moving all the time. We we know that just geographically. It looks like it's very solid and stable and we can jump up and down on it. But if we begin to look at it over time or we look at it more minutely, everything is transforming. And that's what this particular chapter is about.
• 9:03
  It's about the the inherent nature of all things are fluid. Now, so this is a specific practice to look directly at whatever we encounter and watch the world flowing by. It's flowing by. The words are flowing by. Thoughts are flowing by.
• 9:25
  What we see is flowing by. What we feel is flowing by. Everything is flowing by. And when we begin to take dance and practice, it's all flowing. Everything is just flowing.
• 9:38
  Then our breath is flowing. My voice is flowing away, everything is flowing, then we begin to we can relax. We don't have to end up in a battle fighting. I think this it should be that way. It should be this way.
• 9:57
  Should be that way. When we really say, oh, it's flowing. Their opinion, however it is right now, is going to change. My opinion is going to change. And so to the the practice of impermanence is the practice of not being stuck.
• 10:13
  The practice of not being stuck is the practice of appreciation. Because everything that we encounter, we only get to encounter it one time. So this meeting, we think we've only have been sitting here. Oh, yes. Done this over and over again.
• 10:32
  Not only are those memories unreliable, we'll talk about that a minute or sometime, but each constellation is different. This particular group of people will not happen again. This particular state of mind that you bring to this group of people will not happen again. It is constantly changing, constantly flowing. If we see that, as we see that, we begin to have a sense of the miraculous.
• 11:02
  Oh. Oh. It's a one time. One time. And so we begin to instead of dismissing things as, oh, yeah, I've been there, done that.
• 11:16
  Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Boring. We begin to to have a things with a see things with a fresh view. Oh, I've never seen that flicker of emotion on this person's face.
• 11:28
  I've never actually had this particular relationship with him. I've never actually felt this particular constellation of of, sensations in the context of this environment. And when we see impermanence, everything becomes more and more precious. More and more. It's a one time affair.
• 11:50
  People who arrived here tonight will never have the same experience of arriving here. If you came here for the first time, of course, the next time is be different. You came here for the thirtieth time, the next time will be different. It will be different. Different greeters, different talks, different people.
• 12:07
  It's always different. When we are trying to see reality through our memories, oh yeah, I've been there, done that. We're trying to see reality through our memories. We do that because of lots of reasons. Things are not fresh.
• 12:24
  But when we're seeing them freshly, there is a novel freedom that occurs. And one of the elements of practice is to begin to approach our lives with a sense of novel freedom. Because things are changing. We expect things to go a certain way, and it's all probability. Most of the time that probability comes true.
• 12:52
  It's probably that probably it's very high probability. We'll stop talking here in a few minutes. Almost a 100% probability. But you never know. You know?
• 13:02
  You never know for sure. But further out we get, the lower our probability of what's going to happen, the less reliable it becomes. So what's going to happen with our government? What's going to happen with the world government? What's going happen with the world debt?
• 13:18
  What's going to happen with disease? What's going to happen with our awakening? What's going to happen with our heart? It's a mystery. It's a mystery.
• 13:29
  Now the virtue of it being a mystery and the virtue of of actually resting in the the mystery of this moment, watching things arise in this moment, watching them come into being in this moment, the only time there is, the only time we can experience something. Watching things arise in this moment, and in order to do that, we have to be paying attention. We can't pay attention if our mind is on our memory of what happened yesterday. We can't really see the vibrant arising of what's going on right now. If we're paying attention to the vibrant arising of what's going on right now, we realize there is possibility in all kinds of things.
• 14:10
  Possibility. So again, we may think we are stuck. We our our worried mind looks like it's going to go down a certain channel. Our worried mind is afraid that that the inertia is going to take us into poverty and living under a bridge and being eaten by dogs or whatever it happens to be. But the reality is that there is a possibility of different unexpected things happening in ourselves, in our families, in our friends, in our culture, in the world.
• 14:44
  And we can see that possibility because when our mind is, again, looking at the present moment, this is a practice. Look at the present moment, we're looking at the present moment. We can actually watch things just arise, just arise. Where are these words coming from? Where does movement come from?
• 15:01
  Where does this breath come from? Where does my experience come from? We can watch our life arise, and it is creative. The universe is giving us a creative experience of our life at all times. Now, it's not random because each of us, in a way, comes in with our particular karma, our particular habit pattern, our particular and so we have our unique look.
• 15:26
  We have our unique height. We have our unique, you know, gender. We have our unique socioeconomic circumstances, which we get to play out in one way or another. But at the core of our uniqueness is a primary aspiration, a primary vow. I think everybody has a primary vow.
• 15:49
  The vow to be free, the vow to know the truth, the vow to find love and kindness, the vow to be a benefit, the inherent vow that is deeply embedded. Even people who are so confused that they translate those vows into I want to get more money, or I want to get more power. Underneath all that is still this inherent aspiration for wholeness because the universe is whole. And so it's in a way a calling back to our fundamental wholeness. So if we practice and if we look at our own heart and we say, is my vow?
• 16:30
  What is my heart's aspiration? What is my intention? And as you know, those of you who've been around for a while, sometimes we'll do a whole week on that one question, or we do workshops on that question, we do retreats on that question, what is my heart's aspiration? What is the the things I most deeply cherish? And we have that resting in our heart with awareness, and then we have the truth of the instant emerging in this present moment of all things and the probability and the possibility, then that vow shapes shapes things.
• 17:07
  Our vow our vow for goodness, our vow for wholesomeness, our vow for completeness, our vow for satisfaction, our vow to be a benefit, our vow of loving kindness, whatever is in your heart shapes what begins to come forward and shapes how we meet the different, exigencies that arise in our life. So we have a combination of what is the particular karmic constellation of this life and this being, watching with the mindfulness of this moment, seeing the arising of things, and watching our vow, our intention shape our lives into the unique lives that we all have here. You know, we have we look differently. We talk differently. We we live in different places.
• 17:59
  We have a unique vow. The virtue of this is that everybody has the possibility of something rich and interesting coming out of our life. Nobody is stuck. Everybody has the possibility. It does not mean everybody has the equal possibility for for wealth or for healthcare, it does mean that on an individual level to become a rich and satisfied and complete human being that is able to to offer something genuine to the world, everybody has equal potential there in a way.
• 18:37
  But that involves practice. And of course, as we all know, the only time we can actually practice is in this moment because the future doesn't exist yet. So it's in this moment how we are turning our attention moment after moment toward this present moment with love, with kindness, with engagement, with interaction, with intimacy shapes our lives. And that's to me is basically spiritual practice regardless of the names you put on it. In the Zen tradition, the Zen Buddhist tradition, spiritual practice is not about dogma.
• 19:16
  It's not about belief. There's no Nicene Creed that says you gotta believe this, gotta believe that. It's about let me directly observe my own eyes and my own experience. And let me directly see foundation of truth. Now the caveat there, of course, is we have our fixed beliefs that we inevitably try to try to see the truth through our fixed beliefs.
• 19:43
  So at some point, as we're trying to see the truth, we have to also see our fixed beliefs. And as we begin to to give them less and less weight, we find there's more and more fluidity in the system. That was the first line of Thich Nhat Hanh's chapter. Let me see what he says next. Thich Nhat Hanh says, contemplating impermanence helps us touch freedom and happiness in the present moment.
• 20:27
  It helps us see reality as it is so we can embrace change, face our fears, and cherish what we have. Sometime in our lives, we, and perhaps often, we have to sit down and stop and say, have I used my time well? Have I have I lived in accordance with my vow? The Dalai Lama recommends doing that every two or three years, not doing it every day. Do it every day, you drive yourself crazy because the future is unknown.
• 21:04
  You never know what's going to happen in the future. But every two or three years you can look back and feel like there's been enough of a shift. There's been enough of a change. I can actually evaluate. Have I been living in accordance with my vow?
• 21:17
  Have I have I do I have regrets? Have I been And so Thich Nhat Hanh is suggesting in this particular chapter that is part of this impermanence, is part of this transformation that we stop. That we stop and not only we clarify our vow, not only we have the practice of right here, but periodically we say, am I on am I on track? Am I doing what's what's important? Am I am I giving life to my heart's aspiration?
• 21:50
  All of us, as we especially, you know, those of us who are in our getting getting up there in years, you begin we begin looking back at our life and thinking, gee, like I started off with way seeking mind talk. Gee, what have I done? What has really really been the the importance of this? If we look at how much money I made or how many cars I had, some people are better, some people are worse. But if we look at was my life, was the transformations of my life, can I see the the wisdom in those transformations?
• 22:31
  Can I see the direction that I want to go so that right here and right now I can affirm what's most important to me and right here right now based upon the vows that I have had and based upon my my wandering inadequate expression of those vows, based upon those, can I reaffirm my vows? Can I reaffirm what's really important to me right now? And then take a step and begin functioning from this point with more integrity and more sense of wholeness, sense of purpose. Many times in our life, we haven't had a sense of purpose. We, you know, we've been lost.
• 23:19
  We've been thinking what I'm I'm confused. Everything is failing. I've I've this relationship is broken up. That relationship is broken up. Lost this job.
• 23:27
  I'm sick. Whatever. But when we take the the big view with the life life review like I was talking about, we come back here. We bring to consciousness our heart's aspiration. We affirm our heart's aspiration, and we can take consciously more intimate and more immediate and more, imminent steps to live that life and be a benefit to ourselves and others.
• 23:56
  Thich Nhat Hanh says that this is not impermanence, this is transformation. That we have the possibility of transforming our life each moment from dullness into brightness, from confusion into clarity, from anger into wisdom. That this moment is impermanent but it's also transformative. Nothing is lost. Everything is is you know, matter is neither created nor destroyed.
• 24:26
  It's just transformed. And that's true with our psychic matter too. So so the practice, being present, having a vow, trying to manifest that vow, doing our best in the world. He talks in this particular chapter about the the and I think maybe we'll chant them. The five remembrances, which are in her chant book, think.
• 24:59
  Yeah. Is the song in the in the chat in the in the chant book or it's just the words? It should. I think it's just the words. Okay.
• 25:09
  So the five remembrances of Theravadan Buddhism, a Southeast Asian Buddhist articulation of certain elements of the truth, certain elements of this transformation. And the first element, I'm of the nature to grow old. There is no escape from me growing old. I'm of the nature to have ill health. I'm of the nature to die.
• 25:30
  I'm of the nature to get sick. These are just ways that the transformation will happen. I will get old, hopefully. Will get sick, inevitably. I will die, inevitably.
• 25:42
  I will And then it says, my deeds are my closest companions. I am the beneficiary of my deeds. My deeds are the grounds upon which I stand. My actions, my intention. So we have the inevitability of the transformation of old age, sickness, and death, inevitable.
• 26:02
  But then the way that we hold our vows, the way that we hold our mind, the way that we hold our intention, the way that we hold our deeds, in this particular chant, our karma, the way we hold that transforms everything. My deeds are my closest companion. I'm the beneficiary of my deeds. My deeds are the ground upon which I stand. And so with that that truth, which we can only manifest by our awareness in the present moment, With that truth, we can begin to to shape our old age sickness and death in a way that is actually salubrious, in a way that is actually a beneficent, in a way that is is supportive and meaningful.
• 26:48
  There are, I think, three or four other remembrances that are worth including. I mean, we are of the nature of love. We are of the nature of of a kind of miraculous unfolding, some other things, but that's good for now. So those are random comments on the art of living, the first few paragraphs.
• 27:19
  Jomon: Thank you for listening to the Zen Community of Oregon podcast, and thank you for your practice. New episodes air every week. Please consider making a donation at zendust.org. Your support supports us.