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Do Narcissists Know That They Are Hurting You? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Is going on beautiful folks? Do narcissists know that they
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  hurt you? Do they know the pain that they
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  put you through? Do they know the things that
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  they are doing to you are bad and will be frowned upon and
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  people will just turn their backs on them?
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  If they knew the absolute truth? Do they know that's what we're
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  talking about today? Y'all?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. Bing, welcome back, folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  Do narcissistic people know that they are, that they are hurting
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  you? Do they know?
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  What do you think? Drop it in the comment section
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  before you go any further. And also, if you're in the Saint
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  Louis area, we'll be in St. Louis, MO, April 5th, 2025 for
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  our next in person workshop. You can find more information at
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  mentalillness.net/events. See you in Saint Louis this
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  weekend, April 5th for our workshop.
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  In person workshop. But yeah, yeah.
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  So Simply put, the simplest way I could put it, most
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  narcissistic people absolutely do know that they are hurting
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  you. They absolutely know it.
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  They absolutely understand that what they are doing is bad
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  believe they said they don't remember.
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  They say they don't, they don't realize that they what they're
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  doing is wrong. They say they don't know that
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  it's wrong. They say they forget and they
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  black out. And this is that I'm going to
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  cover the blackout stuff like no, no, no, no, I'm going to
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  cover that right now because that gets to my damn nerves
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  right there. The I forgot.
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  I don't remember doing that to you.
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  Especially if they do some violence to you, especially if
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  they put their hands on you and trying to hurt you or physically
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  hurt you or whatever. Yeah, think about this right
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  here. I know when I know narcissistic
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  people think that that's a way out of whatever they're doing,
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  right? I know they think that if they
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  say this to you, it's their get out of jail free card, right?
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  This is the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
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  They actually believe that if they say this to you, I forgot
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  that things will that that you'll forget and you'll move
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  on. But think about it from this
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  perspective right here. Y'all, let me offer you this
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  perspective. Even if they did forget, let's
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  say they did forget, let's just say it's true that they forgot
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  or they don't remember this. They don't remember hurting you
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  or smacking you or choking you, whatever, right?
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  They don't remember any of that. Let's say that's true.
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  That doesn't make it better. That means that they are
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  absolutely out of control. And if they don't remember
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  hurting you and they can't control themselves or they black
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  out, that means they're out of control and they don't, they
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  won't remember taking your life either, will they?
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  It's not my fault I'm blacked out.
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  Think about it from that perspective right there, because
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  so many people use that excuse. I don't remember that I don't
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  remember it happening in that way.
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  I forgot I I just I don't think that I don't think it happened
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  that way. I just black out.
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  That doesn't make it better. That actually makes it worse.
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  But this is how pea brained some narcissistic people are or they
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  think you are right. They might thank you pea brained
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  enough to to think that them forgetting or them not
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  remembering how it had happened or them blacking out that that
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  makes it better when it absolutely makes it worse,
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  because that's if you don't remember it, that absolutely
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  means that you are out of control, right?
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  It means that they're out of control.
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  It does it really absolutely means and that's that's
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  dangerous. That's absolutely dangerous as
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  hell because they're out of control.
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  I don't remember that. OK, cool to get the hell out of
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  here because you're dangerous. You're a bigger danger to me
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  because you don't remember it. They don't make it better.
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  You don't remember it? No.
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  Oh, get the hell out of here. You see how that goes right
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  there, right? You see, that's the mentality of
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  narcissistic people of how they feel that way and how they try
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  to activate, how they try to operate on you.
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  Do you see? Do you see?
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  But that's that meant. That's that mindset right there.
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  They think I don't remember it, but it didn't happen that way.
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  Like that makes it better. It doesn't.
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  OK, but I had to go. Sorry about that early rant
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  bubble, yo. I just had to get that out of my
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  system because it bothers me so much when I'm doing my one on
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  ones over Zoom or my group coaching and whatnot.
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  My my support group. That's what people say.
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  They just like, well, they say they don't, they don't remember
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  or they blacked out. I like that's scarier.
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  How's that scarier, lady? Because they're out of control.
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  If they don't remember it, what's stopping them from doing
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  it again? If they don't remember it,
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  what's stopping them from doing it again?
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  They bought it like that. If they do not remember it,
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  what's stopping them from doing it again?
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  All right, OK, Back to the top of your hand.
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  Narcissistic people, y'all? Or scary people.
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  They can be very scary. And do they know what they're
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  doing is wrong? Yes.
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  That's why they absolutely do remember it.
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  And they're just trying to obfuscate and make it seem like
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  I don't know what's good. What happened?
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  They know it. They know it's bad.
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  Well, Lee, how do they know it's bad?
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  Because they try to hide it. Because they try to hide it.
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  They do. Yeah.
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  It's it, it, it They do. They try to hide it.
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  They try to keep it private. They try to forget it.
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  They know what they are doing is hurting you.
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  Now are all of them in control? I will say that not every single
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  narcissist is in control of their minds.
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  I just feel like there's a certain operating system like
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  you might be running on the newest updated Windows or Mac
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  iOS, right? You're, you're, you're running
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  on a updated Mac iOS system. Your narcissistic partner is not
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  running on the same system there we we are running, we are
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  running on outdated software with a virus where we had the
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  narcissistic virus. The you know how to computers
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  use the viruses back in the day. We have a narcissistic virus in
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  our head that is making us think different and behave
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  differently. So sometimes we are absolutely
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  not in control of our actions sometimes.
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  But again, y'all, that doesn't excuse it.
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  That doesn't excuse it. What are they trying to do to
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  get their behaviors under control?
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  Nothing. I'm going to go pray about it.
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  I've been trying not to make these religious friends but I
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  have to. Y'all prayer is not enough.
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  Now I'm a God fearing God believing man.
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  I just am. I read the entire Bible.
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  The Bible changed my life. God has changed my life.
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  But y'all have got to stop letting religious manipulative
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  people just get away with it because they use they bring up
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  God or they go. They're going to pray it away or
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  they're going to go to church. That is not enough.
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  Y'all Faith without works is dead.
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  If you look, if you pray on it that doesn't, you know, that
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  absolutely doesn't change anything.
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  What's a great prayer? Plus what?
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  What are you doing? What are you doing aside from
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  just praying? What else are you doing?
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  I need something more. You need.
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  Yeah, you need something more. You need to require something
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  more in these scenarios. So, yeah, they're praying.
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  But what are you saying? What else are they doing?
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  They are. They don't believe in therapy.
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  Then you. This is who you got to deal with
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  y'all. They don't believe in therapy.
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  This is who you got to deal with.
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  Everything else goes out the window.
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  This is who you have to deal with.
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  I don't believe in therapy. Y'all conspiracy theories and
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  therapy like people just out here just boy, this is a rough
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  world we live in. I'll just be real.
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  It is it is exhausting in in today's world out it just is
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  idiocy and misinformation just run the world right now.
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  So it's just people just make shit up, Don't believe in
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  therapy but they believe in just weirdo shit.
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  Just it makes my head hurt y'all?
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  It really does. So yes, they know that they are
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  hurting you. They absolutely know that they
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  are doing you wrong. And do they care?
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  Most of them do not care. As long as it doesn't affect
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  their reputation or their livelihood, they don't care.
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  This is why they'll only start crying after they they think
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  they're going to get in trouble. They don't start crying because
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  they hurt you. Ahma.
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  Can't believe I hurt you. Nope.
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  Can't believe I cheated on you. Can't believe I did this.
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  Can't believe I did that. No.
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  They cry when they get caught. Do you think they're crying when
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  when they're cheating on you? You think they're crying when
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  they You think they're crying when they're crying somebody
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  else's cheeks. You think they're doing that?
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  You think they're. I can't.
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  Believe I'm. Doing this, No, no, they're not
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  crying. They're smiling and anything
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  they're into it, they smile. They doing they're not crying,
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  but when you find out they crying because they know it
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  hurt, they know it's going to hurt you.
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  That's why they hide it. That's why they try to keep it a
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  secret. They absolutely no bully.
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  Are they going to stop? Why would they?
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  Why would they stop y'all? Why would they stop these
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  behaviors? Why would I stop a behavior that
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  I feel like I'm getting rewarded for?
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  I know this sounds harsh, but it's real.
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  Why would I stop any behavior that I feel like I'm getting
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  rewarded for? I'm getting rewarded for my
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  behaviors. Why would I stop them?
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  Why would I stop being manipulative?
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  Why would I stop being deceptive?
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  Why would I stop doing the all this other stuff?
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  Why would I stop it? Why would I cease this stuff?
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  If it's serving me and it works? If it's serving me and it works,
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  why would I cease these things? You mean they will try to
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  convince you that you are the worst person here because you
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  want to tell people what's going on?
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  They'll try to convince you that you are absolutely the the
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  problem, like you are being problematic.
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  You are the problem here. You are the you are the hurtful
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  person here because you want to tell everybody.
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  You going to ruin my life by telling everybody?
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  What? You going to ruin my life by
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  telling everybody what I done? I thought you loved me.
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  I thought you cared about me. I guess not, right?
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  I guess you don't give a fuck about me, right?
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  I guess you don't care it out. I guess you never cared.
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  Get the hell out of here y'all. Yes they know, but what are you
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  going to do about it now? This is not me trying to tell
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  you to leave, right? I I stopped telling people to
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  leave, right? I give you the information
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  necessary and then you have to make the you have to make
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  decisions that are going to either benefit or be be to your
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  benefit or to your detriment, right?
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  I just give you the information necessary.
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  That's what I'm doing right now. You hit me.
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  Unless they being physically abusive, you mean I'll tell you,
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  get out of there then, especially if they put their
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  hands around here, you know, and none of they put their hands
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  around here in a non consensual way.
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  Then they got to go right. But in these positions, in these
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  positions right here, you have to be what, ready, willing and
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  able to operate in these in it within his, in his heart, right?
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  You have to be able to like, what are you going to do about
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  it? We'll let him start setting
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  boundaries. It's very difficult to set
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  boundaries when you're already in a relationship for years.
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  It's very difficult because narcissists are not going to
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  respect boundaries. Shout out to Doctor Robin, he
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  said it. I saw that in a video the other
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  day. Like people always say, she
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  said, people already tell you to set boundaries.
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  The hell is the point of selling battle with the narcissist?
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  They're going to run over top of it.
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  I'm like, damn, you know what? You right, Doctor Robert, are
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  you right? But what are you gonna do,
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  buddy? I'll take it.
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  What it What does winning look like here?
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  What does taking action look like for you?
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  Because you have to apply that action and whatnot?
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  Yeah, but I ain't going to keep you all too long.
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  Y'all not trying to keep you this like 13 around 13 minutes.
• 11:44
  My new course finding your why, How to heal from narcissistic
• 11:48
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  mentalillness.net and just it's courses on the side.
• 11:57
  Go to mentalillness.net courses are right on the side.
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  You can check out that course. All my about both my courses.
• 12:02
  I got a deal going on for the courses and what not.
• 12:04
  Y'all thank y'all so much. I truly really truly appreciate
• 12:08
  every single one of y'all. I'm super thankful for you and
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  as always y'all as always, as always, as always, I'm hype I'm
• 12:16
  I'm so hype for y'all. I'm not hype just hype for me.
• 12:18
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• 12:27
  Mental illness is out. Peace.
• 12:28
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• 12:46
  I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.