Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 367. More Than Enough: Sunny Choi On Her Path to Breaking At The Olympics, The Power of Self-Belief & Embracing Second Chances

Transcript

367. More Than Enough: Sunny Choi On Her Path to Breaking At The Olympics, The Power of Self-Belief & Embracing Second Chances · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Failure is only failure if you see it that way.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It can also just be a lesson that you've learned.
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily a body here. You are listening to
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: episode three hundred and sixty seven of Hurdle, a wellness
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: focused podcast where I talk to inspirational people about everything
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: from their highest ties and toughest moments to essential tips
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: to live a healthier, happier, more motivated life. We all
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: go through our fair share of hurdles. My goal through
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: these discussions is to empower you to better navigate yours
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: and move with intention so that you can stride towards
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: your own big potential and of course, have some fun
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: along the way.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: I won't even in front.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: I've wanted to have this conversation on the show forever now,
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: ever since I first heard about Sonny Choi. Sunny Joy
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: is an olympian and a breaker, and in this week's episode,
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: she talks to me about growing up a gymnast and
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: from the age of three having dreams to one day
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: make it to the Games. She shares the difficult decision
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: to forego going all in on gymnastics as a teenager
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: to eventually pursue a business degree. At Penn where she
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: also first tried free dancing herself. In twenty twenty two,
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: after making a name for herself on the world stage,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Choi made the big decision to walk away from her
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: six figure salary as the director of Global Creative Operations
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: at Sday Lauder to pursue her lifetime.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Dream of becoming an Olympian.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Of course, we talk about her trip to the Games
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: and what it meant for her, as well as her
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: thoughts on the criticisms of breakings inclusion there and the
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: athleticism that the sport demands. She talks to me about
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: the pivot she's made away from corporate life, currently working
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: with clients as a certified strength and conditioning coach, and
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: how this bold choice to follow her passions has to
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: transformed the way she thinks about her self worth and
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: inspires her to keep dreaming big. We talk so much
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: about that in today's conversation, so much about self worth
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: and dreaming big, and it's called self worth for a reason.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I want to say that upfront.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: The reality is that if we allow others to dictate
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: how we feel about ourselves, and happiness becomes something that's
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: beyond our control and life is too short for that.
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: Sunny's story inspires me to work hard to be my
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: best self, and I have no doubt that it will
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: do the same for you. Make sure if you're not
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: yet subscribed to the weekly Hurdle newsletter you do that
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: It's over on substack. It comes out every single Friday,
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: bringing so much of the same inspiration and motivation you
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: love from the show, plus things like my gear picks,
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  Speaker 2: what I'm reading when I'm listening to, and top links
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  Speaker 2: from around the wellness world directly in your inbox. The
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: link to subscribe absolutely free is in the show notes,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: and make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: social media. It's over at Hurdle Podcast and I am
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: over at Emily a body last a little bit of
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: housekeeping here. I am in the market for a new assistant.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: I'm looking for someone to help me make this podcast
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: that you all love listening to every week, from idating
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  Speaker 2: to editing, bonus points of view experience with platforms like
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  Speaker 2: garage band and Canva audio editing, video editing. It could
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: be a lot of different things. Just looking for the
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  Speaker 2: right person and we'll go from there. Email hello at
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: Hurdle dot us with the subject line assistant, your resume,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: a little bit about you and I will get back
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: to you soon.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: With that, Let's get to it. Let's get to hurdling today.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Sunny Chow. She's an Olympian,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: a breakdancer. Welcome to hurdles, Sonny.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: How are we doing?
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I'm doing well this morning? Is it this morning anymore?
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: Still the morning.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: We're still right in early.
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: But you have been all over the place, as many
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: people that live in New York are. Your days right
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: now in twenty twenty five are a lot different than
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: your days in twenty twenty two. Yeah, how does that
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: make you feel?
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: In twenty twenty two, I feel like I had a
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: lot of purpose. In the beginning of twenty twenty two,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I think I hadn't decided yet if I was going
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: to kind of pursue the Olympic pathway. But once I had,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: it was like I had this like guiding light, you know,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: for everything that I did, it was like, this is
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the end goal, this is where I want to get,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: and all these little steps to go, you know that
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I knew I needed to take along the way. Right now,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: I have this much blurr your idea what I want
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: to do, but I don't know what the timeline is
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: that I don't really know how to get there or
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: you know, any of that. So it's like there's something,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: but I just feel like much less focused because there
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: is no very clear end goal. You know, with the Olympics,
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: it's like I knew what date that I was going
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to compete. I knew exactly where we were going to compete,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: you know, I knew what I needed to do to
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: get there. All of that. I'm just kind of in
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: this like weird limbo, and honestly, I enjoy it because
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: there is a little bit more freedom and I feel
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: like there is one weight has been lifted, another has
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: now said it, you know, so similar but different. But
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: to be honest, this entire journey has been all about,
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: you know, picking myself and doing things that really fulfill
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: me and bring me joy. So over time kind of
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: really embracing that journey has made all of this easier
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: as it goes. Had I tried to do this like
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: a couple of years ago, I would be freaking out
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: every single day. Now it's just like every other day.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: But that's improvement, right, Yeah, right, now where you understand
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: that a certain amount of uncertainty is to be expected
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: as you're figuring out what feels good for you.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah exactly.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: And so right now, in the midst of this uncertainty,
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: how do you feel in your body?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Good question? I mean to be honest, I haven't really
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: even done too much checking in recently. I was actually
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: just talking to my boyfriend about this. So he's a
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: mental health counselor, which is like the best for me,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: but I do this thing well. So pre Olympics, I
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: would do these things where I would just take ten
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: seconds out of my day wherever I was randomly when
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: I would remember to do it, and just like physically
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: check in on myself to see kind of where my
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: battery was at, like social, mental, like whatever that meant
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: in that moment, just kind of checking in. And then
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: it kind of became automatic where I didn't even need
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: to check in because I was kind of keeping tabs
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: on myself throughout the day, which is really great. And
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: then kind of more recently, I've gotten more busy and
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I've been forgetting to do that, and so now I'm
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: having to go back to doing these like little ten
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: second check ins because I'm no longer aware or conscientious
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: of that battery as I go through the day. And
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I think, especially in a role right now where I'm
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: you know, a personal trainer or strength coach, and I'm
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: really focused on other people and on serving them, I
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: forget to check in on me as I go. Yeah,
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: and so that's actually it's a really great question, and
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: I should do that because right now I don't quite
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: know because I'm just like rolling through all these different
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: tasks through the day without stopping.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: When you do this ten second check in, bring me
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: through it, what where does the mind go?
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Do you sit any different way? What happens?
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: I can't take cared of her because my therapist, who
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: is amazing, that's everyone who gave me this. But basically,
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: you don't really need to do anything. You just stop
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: what you're doing. You don't need to really change your
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: breathing either. You just kind of like what I I
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: would do normally is just close my eyes and just
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: start breathing and just pay attention to the breathing. So
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: basically quieting all the external noise for just a moment
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: so that I can pay attention to myself. Normally, I
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: end up with a couple cleansing breaths. It's like two
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: or three depending on how I feel, which is also
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: like always really kind of cathartic in that moment, just
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: to kind of release whatever it is that I'm feeling,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: so that again I can kind of recenter for that moment.
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's I mean, it's easy because I don't
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: need to really do anything other than just pay attention
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  Speaker 1: to my breathing.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: And the cleansing breaths include an audible exhale.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's just a really deep inhale through your
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: nose and then a big exhale. Yeah, exactly, that much
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: more aggressive than that.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: I'm trying to see everyone's heres right here.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Well, it's so special to have these tools in your
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: toolbox that you can lean into when you're like, what
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: is even going on around right now? Because there's so
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: much uncontrollable around us every single day. So to have
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: the ability to say, no, I have this thing that
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: I can do that brings me back into my body,
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: it's a gift.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, for sure. In the lead up to
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: the games, the stress management was really challenging for me,
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: and I mean, to be honest, it's not just the
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: lead up. It's been a lifelong challenge for me. I've
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: always felt like I needed to work harder and I
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: was never doing enough. And so because I felt that way,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: I was just constantly going from task to task to
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: task until I burned out. Yeah, and that's not really
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: a sustainable way to move forward because then you just
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: constantly hitting these valley And I think peaks and valleys
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: are natural in life, right, we should have those. But
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: the valleys were so so low, and then they kind
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: of got lower and longer over time, and it became
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: really unmanageable for me. So being able to work with
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: a therapist to kind of create those tools was really helpful.
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: I felt like I was never doing enough. Can you
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: pinpoint perhaps when you first felt like that that you
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: can remember?
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: Nope, because it's been my whole entire life.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: So, you know, I grew up in like my mom
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: is amazing, and we grew up in a family with
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: like a lot of love and stuff. But and I think,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: kind of naturally, I think part of it's like birth order.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: I'm the only girl in a family. I have three brothers,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: so in a family of four, and there was a
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: lot of expectation for all of us. Of course we're
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: also you know, my parents and were good to hear,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: so there was this expectation like we need to be successful.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: They sacrifice so much for us, you know. Early on
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: it was like, all right, you should be a doctor
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: or a lawyer, and you know I didn't do that. I
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: didn't go to Stanford Meth like my parents want or
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: my dad wanted. You know. It was always like you
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: brought home the grades and if there was an A
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: minus in there, like wasn't good enough. Even though they
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: were all a's. You know, everyone else is bringing home
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: like a's, maybe a few bees, and their parents would
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: be like, you know, you would hear about it in class.
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: People get money for it or they were whatever it
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: may be. And my parents would always be like, why
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: is there an ame minus? You know so, and I
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: know that it came from a good place, but it
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: just made me feel like, oh, this is never going
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: to be good enough, you know. So. I think it
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: started pretty young and I found myself always trying to
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: be the best, and it wasn't necessarily being the best
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: in comparison to other people. I wasn't like, oh, I
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: won first place and like, that's it. It was like
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: there was always a standard that I couldn't meet, you know,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: this impossible ceiling that I was trying to like surmount
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: that just I was always chasing. But that's the problem,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: is that I'm always going to change it because when
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: you get better, that ceiling just gets higher.
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: It's so true.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It's like a constantly moving the goal post situation. So
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: as you were really competing against yourself throughout your academics,
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: you also become a gymnast, which I would imagine has
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: its fair share of challenges as someone who really only
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: wants to see the best from themselves.
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I actually started gymnastics when I was three. Okay,
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: I watched the Olympics and I told my mom I
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: wanted to be an olympim And apparently I bothered her
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: for like a month straight and she was like, all right,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: we'll put you in. And she had no idea what
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: she was doing. She found like a local YMC that
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: had a gymnastics program. She took me to the first
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: class in A two two because she didn't know a gymnast.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: War Oh, she realized that like the leotard did and
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: A two two were a little different. So I had
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: this like little Mermaid to two on going to gymnastics,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: and I was three, asking if I was going to
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: get a gold medal that day, and that's when it
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: all started. And then actually early on I was kind
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: of pegged as someone who had talent, and so they
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: put me in these like accelerated programs. So you know,
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: people who are familiar with gymnastics would know. I think
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: it's called like tops or two PI or something like that.
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: I forgot, but basically we would do like there's like
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: a strength and conditioning kind of section where they test
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: you on that and then they test you on like skills,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: and then afterward, if you make it through that, you
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: go to like this camp and you train with a
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: bunch of other gymnasts. So I was like maybe five
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: or six when we started that, and then you know,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I mean like I was like a what eight years
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: old seven eight year old young girl doing like sixty
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: five push ups, Like we were like beasts basically in
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: this program. And so then when we moved from Tennessee
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: to Kentucky, someone was like, oh, you should go to
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: this gym because they have a lot of athlete like
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: gymnasts who do this program, and then from there we
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: ended up going to another gym who had more gymnasts
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: who did this program. So I was like flying to
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: New York do do this testing and you know, getting
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: put in these programs to kind of like accelerate my progress.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: So pretty early on, it's like there was also this
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: kind of expectation that I was going to do while
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: in gymnastics. You know, when I was about twelve, so
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: I think it was between middle elementary school and middle
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: school when we had to kind of sit down and
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: have this conversation of like, are we doing Olympic pathway?
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: We're going to have to bring you out of traditional
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: schooling homeschool so that you can do two a days
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: and like all of that, and we decided at that age, no,
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: we're going to go more traditional pathway, go to public school.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: I went to Magnet schools, but go to kind of
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: like a normal have a more normal quote unquote normal Yeah,
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: you know childhood that way. Still continue gymnastics, but not
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: pursue that Olympic pathway, just because you know, there's not
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: a ton of opportunity for Olympians I think more so
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: now and especially for women now, you know, it's very,
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: very different than it was. Had I gotten it would
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: have been twenty years ago, you know, sixteen. That's kind
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: of what we were targeting, because you know, I was twelve.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: It was like targeting about four years later trying to
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: like qualify to that Olympic cycle. It was so different
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: for athletes back then. You know, it's just like gymnasts
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: would have their like moment in the spotlight and then disappear,
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: and you would put off college and also like not
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: kind of do the homeschooling. So then you have a
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: very different kind of child and upbringing. And I'm not
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: saying that that's any better or worse, but it's definitely
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: would have been a lot harder for my parents to
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: do that. So we made that choice to forego the
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Olympics early and then just do you know, maybe collegior gymastic.
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: Something like that, right and so on, that pathway a
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: so much sacrifice even though you weren't you made the
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: conscious decision not to pursue the Olympic pathway. I mean,
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: you were traveling all over from such an early age
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: to pursue this at the time hobby that could take
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: you somewhere. Making that decision not to pursue the Olympic pathway.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Do you even remember at that time, being fifteen sixteen,
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: how that made you feel.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I think at that time I was already in this
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: mindset of like, I need to do what's going to
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: make me again like quote unquote successful in life, and
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: that means I need to go to a good college.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: I need to get a good job so that I
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: can have a family and a home and children, you know,
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: and outwardly look successful. So I was trying to put
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: myself on that pathway from a really young age. Yeah,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: you know from the conversations that I had. I mean,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: you know, how logical are you really processing at that age?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: But the way that my brain worked was like, well,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: if you're not, you know, it's like one and done,
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: and there's not much of a pathway that way. Why
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: would I do that? You know, it seems silly. So
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do this more like responsible. From then
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: on until I mean basically until twenty twenty two, I
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: was making taking all the steps necessary to be again
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: successful in the eyes of like society. Yeah, Like I
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: went to Penn, I graduated and started working in corporate
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: did that for you know? All the way up until
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty three, actually is when I quit my job
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: at a stale order to pursue the Olympics. But I
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: kind of assumed that like that was just you know,
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: it was a childhood dream that just went away.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: We should ourselves into so many things.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The words should is dangerous.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: It's so dangerous, and so you are shooting yourself into
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: this quote unquote conventional path because that's what's been modeled
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: for you. You haven't seen women, specifically, I want to say,
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Asian women go down a path which was at one
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: point an option for you. So to then make this decision, okay,
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: like I'm going to go to the conventional route. It
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: is completely understandable to see that that's where you went.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: But along that route, as you're at pen you are
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: introduced to breakdancing. Talk to me about the first time
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: that you saw breaking.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: So funny enough, the first time I saw breaking was
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: actually I was still in lovel Kentucky at the time.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: My little brother started breaking before me. He started in
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: high school. So on the days that I didn't go
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: to domestics after school, I would pick him up and
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: I would wait for him after school with this like
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: breaking club, and it was like, I don't know, maybe
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: four or five eight people max, like guys who, in
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: my mind were just like rolling around on the floor,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: and I was like, what are you doing like this?
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: You know, I didn't really have like a like a
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: concept of what breaking really was. And he had shown
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: me like a video or two online at the time.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I don't even remember if it was YouTube, it might've
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: been something else, and I, you know, being a gymnast,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: I was like, Oh, that's impressive, but like not that cool,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: you know. So when I get to college and I
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: see breaking for the first time at Penn, I think
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: because my mindset was so different at that point, because
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: so in high school I had a couple knee injuries
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: and ended up quitting gymnastics. And while I had signed
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: with the gymastics team at Pen, I quit before I
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: got there and I had to tell the coach. So
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I was very lost looking for something to do kind
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: of getting out of shape. And for someone who had
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: never once not exercised in their life, it was like
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: this was all foreign to me. Trying to go to
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: the gym, I like despised running on the treadmill. I
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: didn't know what I was doing in terms of like
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: lifting weights, because you know, now I might be different
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: for gymnasts, but growing up, all we did was like
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: body weight exercises, you know, for gymnastics. So going to
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: the gym, I was just like, I don't know what
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: to do with these weights, and I kind of hated
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: all that My body was changing and I was like,
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. So I see these
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: people outside and this is on pen campus. There's this
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: like smooth concrete and they're dancing, they're rolling around, they're
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: having fun. There's music, and I was like, oh, that
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: looks like fun, like they're upside down and you know,
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: freshman year probably wasn't sober so, but they were like, oh,
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: come take a class. I was like, okay, I'm down.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: So I went on Friday to go try. It was
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: a popping class, and I still to this day am
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: really bad at popping. But afterward they were like, well,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: you're a gymnast to try this. And they were like, okay,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: go upside down in the handstand, try and spit on
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: your hand. And I was like, oh, this is fun.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: You know my language.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So I kind of stuck around and initially it
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: was really really hard for me because I was so
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: so shy. The perfectionist in me would not let me
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: dance in front of anybody else. I had never really
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: put my creativity or been on display or been like
• 19:48
  Speaker 1: vulnerable in front of other people. It's almost like the
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: easier route is to go through this almost anonymous pathway
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: of just like, Okay, do well in school, and then
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: do well at your job, but don't make too much noise,
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: you know, and then just kind of to go through
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: and check off all those boxes. Going and trying to
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: dance and express who I was, and at that time
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: I didn't know who I was. Was so new and
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: foreign to me, and it was extremely intimidating. So I
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: used to just sit in the corner of the room
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: watch everyone else dands. However, I knew this was something
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: that I didn't want to get in my way, and
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: I was like, I want to push through this. Something
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: in me knows that this is good for me, and
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: I feel like like there was a piece of me
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I think that was just like craving this. You know.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: In high school, I had like dabbled in a few
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: things that were creative, and I had liked them, but
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: every single time I ended up picking the more like
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: responsible again in quotes route overdoing something that was more creative.
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: And even in college, like I actually minored in fine arts,
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: and I was kind of getting pushed to like potentially
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: pursue an MFA from some of my professors, and I
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: was like, no, like, where's the future in them. I'm
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: just going to graduate with a business degree and go
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: into business because it's an easier way to make money
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: and it's a little more stable and you know, yeaha YadA.
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: So I think that there was a part of me
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: that I just kind of kept pushing down that I
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: was like, I think I need to let this breathe,
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Like I need to figure out what it is. And
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: that's what breaking let me do.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: And so as you participate more and get out of
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: the corner a little bit more, do you recall the
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: first time that you truly let your talent be on display.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: It was a gradual process. You know, every single time
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: I got out there, I would like freeze up, not
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: do anything that I thought I was going to do,
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: not really allow myself to be in the moment, and
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: then immediately afterward, not even allow myself to sit with
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: that moment. But just judge myself right after for how
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: awfully I thought that I did so relatable. So that
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: was at least the first ten years of my breaking
• 21:53
  Speaker 1: every single time was like that. It wasn't, honestly until
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: more recently, kind of doing more of the intro work,
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: that I started being able to actually be present in
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: the moment when I was dancing. Sure I judged myself
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: right after anyway, but in those moments, finally finding moments
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: of like peace while I was dancing, you know where
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: I'm like really just present, nothing else matters with the music,
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: my body in the floor, yeah, and allowing myself to
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: kind of just be in that moment and just like flow.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: That really wasn't until recent years that I've been able
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: to do ten years.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: I want to highlight that because we live in such
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: an instant gratification society, especially with all of us holding
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: a device in our right hand.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: We see something and we want it immediately.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And you diligently worked to a place that you had
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: the skills, but you still needed to get out of
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: your own way.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: To exercise those skills. Talk to me about the self
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: talk that is required in that.
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've always been someone who had really great
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: work ethic, and I think that obviously was to my
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: benefit in this kind of long game of like wanting
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: to get to this goal. Anyone who asked me what
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: my goal was in dancing, you know so many other
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: breakers like oh I want to make like this event,
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: or I want to be in like BC one, or
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: do this you know, big international event. I always told
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: people I want to be able to dance freely. I
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: knew that that was always my goal. I had no
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: ambitions of like winning big competitions or doing any of that.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: And so I think one of the challenges again is
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: like that's like a pretty foggy goal. You don't really
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: know what that looks like until you get there. It's
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: not a small you know exactly. Yeah, there's nothing measurable here.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I just want to be able to do it freely.
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: And so what does freely look like for you?
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah? Okay, But you know, I kept noticing as time
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: went on, it's like little bits were unlocking, Like I
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: was able to shut out, shut away a little bit
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: more every single time I danced. So yeah, I mean,
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: like just going into events, it would just basically I'd
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: be telling myself like, like stop it like stop the noise,
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: you know, stop talking, and just like just go do
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: what you came to do. And you know, initially so
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I'm breaking nowadays, I actually I'm like almost all freestyle.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I just go out there and do what I feel
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: like doing. I might have like one or two moves planned,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: but for the most part, I just like just go dance.
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: In the beginning, because my brain was so like hyperactive,
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: I would try to plan out a little bit more
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: so that I could be mindless because my body knew
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: what it was doing, and then I kept messing those
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: up every single time because then for a second I
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: would lock in with the music, I would completely lose
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: my place in my little like mini combo, and then
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: I would freeze up and I'd be like, I don't
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: even know how to do the basics anymore.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: There is such a lesson here, and just like trusting
• 24:53
  Speaker 3: your guys.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly. So it was, you know, in the beginning,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: it was about like go of control there and allowing
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: myself and trusting my body and trusting my practice to
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: show up and do what I knew how to do,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: rather than trying to like overcompensate for all of this insecurity,
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: I had around my ability. Yeah, yeah, I mean honestly,
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: that was basically like most of the journey, there's all
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: these little like I'm going to sound like good do
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: work saying this, but like all these are the side
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: quests to get there too, like all these other kind
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: of mental hurdles that had to kind of surpass to
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: be able to like really show up. Give me an example,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: you know, to be honest, all of them, A lot
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: of them are rooted in this idea that I have
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: never thought that I was enough, you know, but they
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: all kind of manifested in different ways. And like one
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: of them was like my fear of failure and realizing,
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: you know, obviously the like failure is only failure if
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: you see it that way, it can also just be
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: a lesson that you learned, and realizing that by never
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: allowing myself to fail, by never really truly dreaming, I
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: could never let myself do right. The other piece of
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: that puzzle is like maybe I didn't think I was
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: worth having, Like I didn't have enough work to have dreams,
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: Like it wasn't I didn't have enough value, So.
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: Why would I heaving yourself enough? You know?
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: Yes, So there was a lot around that, and that
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: was one of the very kind of first hurdles I
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: had to get pasted to even allow myself to think
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I can make it to the Olympics.
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: Taking a break from Jday's episode to talk to you
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• 27:26
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  Speaker 3: Com slash hurdle. Also got to give some love to
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• 28:15
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• 28:27
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  Speaker 2: com slash hurdle. Let's get back to it. You know
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: what's so special about you is that it's as though
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: there were two people. There's this person that feels safe
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: in this corporate path because by all definitions of success,
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: you were extremely successful on your corporate journey and you
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: had thoughts and goals on that path that you weren't
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: afraid of going after. And then there's this whole side
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: of you, this other side that has some thoughts, doesn't
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: necessarily have any smart goals, but just wants to feel
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: good in her body.
• 30:49
  Speaker 3: As she moves it freely. Right.
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: And so it's so interesting because we get into these
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: places again with that word should, where it's like, well,
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: this is the path that I should be on, so
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: it's okay to set.
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: Goals over here.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: And so for you, as you become more comfortable dancing
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: in front of others, you also get to this point
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: where you're starting to travel to compete, which is a
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: whole other level.
• 31:13
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: You have to have a certain amount of self belief
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: to say, Okay, not only am I going to take
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: some time to do this, but I'm also going to
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: invest in it, and you started investing in it.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Well, I will say the first couple of times I
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: traveled internationally, I had zero expectations. One of the very
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: first time was like with a group of people and like, honestly,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I felt like the token girl that was just like
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: thrown in the squad. And I was like, all right, well,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I just don't want to do bad because I'm the
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: token girl. I don't want people to feel like I'm
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: the token girl. But I didn't do it for me
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: per se. And then the next time I think I
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: traveled internationally, I didn't even I didn't even think I
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: was going to compete. I just went because I was like, oh,
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: I met some friends, we want to go travel together.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: It's going to be fun. And we get there and
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: she's like, you did not come all this way not
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: to enter the battle, Like that's insane. So she pushed
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: me to enter, and I happened to win, and it
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: was like at that time, you know, the biggest like
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: women's category competition, like one of the biggest in the
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: world at the time, And despite winning that, and I
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: mean it felt amazing despite winning that I never had,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I still didn't have the confidence. You know, winning was
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: never going to help me realize that I'm enough. That
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: was internal work that I needed to do and it
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: could never be externally validated. And so you know, as
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: I was going on and doing all this every single time,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: you would never have guessed it on the outside, but
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: every single time. Maybe some people you can kind of
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: see in the footage back in the day that I
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: do lack some confidence. I don't look up as much,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I don't look as present as I do now when
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I'm dancing. But yeah, most people wouldn't have guessed that
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: I was doubting myself so much, you know, traveling internationally.
• 32:53
  Speaker 1: I did start investing myself, but it was easier because
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I had that job and I had that security blanket.
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: I was working to dance, you know, basically working for
• 33:03
  Speaker 1: a paycheck so that I could go do the thing
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: that actually like really fueled me in life.
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: And as you start to travel more and do this
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: more and find this confidence, is there a conversation that
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: you have with your parents.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: So they knew I was dancing, and they knew I
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: started traveling they knew I started making money on it,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: and they're like, all right, well, I guess it doesn't sound awful,
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: but you should probably focus on like getting married and
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: having kids. Yeah, when things started getting more serious and
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I went to the World Games, and then, you know,
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: I think they did like an NPR segment. You know,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: my dad always listens in PR, so for him he
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: was like, oh, wow, like this is this is legit.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: And so I think having more kind of media almost
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: provide credibility to what I was doing. I think helped
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: my parents kind of wrap their heads around, like, oh,
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: maybe this is a little bit more serious than just
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, like just going on and I am
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: like partying and dancing.
• 34:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: Then my mom actually came to one of my events.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: Funny enough, she didn't ask for the ticket for herself.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: My aunt was in town and my aunt wanted to go,
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: and she was like, all right, can you just get
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: a ticket? Your aunt wants to go, so can you
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: get tickets for both of us? And I was like, sure,
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: of course I will, right, you know. But she didn't
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: even say she wanted to go, you know, it was
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: about my aunt going. But she went and she saw
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: me dance and she ended up loving it. It's one
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: of the moments that I'll probably remember for the rest
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: of my life. Actually, it's bringing tears in my eyes
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: now having her there. So it was really cute because
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: in the beginning of the event, she was kind of
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: like back a little bit further than the crowd, and
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: you know, I saw her and I wave before we started.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: So I started dancing, and then the next round, I thought,
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, she left. I couldn't find her, and
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: I was like, oh no, did she hate that much?
• 34:52
  Speaker 1: Like And turns out a little bit later I realized
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: and my brother told me later she had like shoved
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: her a way through the crowd all the way to
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: like the front, like front end center maybe second row,
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: like right up there so she could like be up
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: in the action, like in the thick of it. And
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: then yeah, and so I ended up winning that event,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: and so we kind of all got to celebrate and
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: talk about it, and she afterward was like, I'm converted.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: I actually really like it.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Did you have worries about her coming to that event?
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, my gosh, so much. Yeah, It's just like breaking
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: is is such a beautiful space because it's so diverse,
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: but we grew up in Lousville, Kentucky, where it's like
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: it just it's it's different. And this is an event
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I think it was in LA but still a much
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: more diverse community, really love of music. This is like
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: hip hop culture. So you have people dressed, you know,
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: all sorts of different ways, and it's a younger crowd
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: and it's kind of dark and stinky sometimes and pretty
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: like not always organized.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: So there's so many things that I was concerned about,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: you know, her being like a kind of traditional Korean,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: grew up in Korea, came here, grew up then you know,
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: even being here, like growing up in Tennessee and Kentucky
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: is just like a different world. So I was super,
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: super anxious going into the event, and so I couldn't
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: have been more happy when I saw her in the front,
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: like just like really enjoying herself.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: I would imagine such a weight lifted off your shoulders.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: So special.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: And so your family starts to have this resounding understanding
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: of what you're really doing. Yeah, does your work have
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: an understanding of what you're really doing?
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So one of my caveats always for accepting a
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: job was like I needed jobs that would allow me
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: to travel and potentially work as I traveled, versus like
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: always being in the office. And I mean I always
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: took vacation days for the days that I traveled, but
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: I was often like working when I was overseas. Wherever
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: I was, people started, you know, like my clothes. His
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: friends always knew. But then people would be like, why
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: isould she sending emails like like three am on vacation,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: like where is she? And I'd been so that would
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: come back and they'd ask, and really all I was
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: in Japan and for the weekend, and I'd be like, yeah,
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: I just worked for a competition, Like what kind of competition?
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: So these things came up, so everybody always knew. And
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: also like at Estal latter, I would log off between
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: the hours of like six and nine, and I'd be
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: on my email but not on my computer. And I
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: mean even the fact that I had to log off
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: between those hours so that and then come back on
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: is kind of it's a thing on its own. But
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: I would disappear for a couple hours and I'd only
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: be on like you know, messenger or whatever, right, and
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: so they would be like, oh, what are you doing?
• 37:40
  Speaker 1: You know, like because I was basically like on twenty
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: four seven when I was working except for when I
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: was dancing, and yeah, so you know, it would come
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: up and they'd ask, and then you know, we all
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: have Instagram, so people would find like I actually, before
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: I started working there, one of my direct reports, she
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: found me on Instagram and then, like, I want to
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: say a little bit later, she was like, I have
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: something to confess. I definitely talked to you on Instagram already,
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: do you know, you know, we just started talking about dance.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: So nowadays it's like you can't really hide these days.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, how do you feel that dancing helped you
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: in that avenue of your professional life or that avenue
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: of your life.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: I think the fact that dance made me really confront
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: myself and who I was and a lot of these
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: questions around identity and self worth and all of that
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: helped me to show up and be more confident at work.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: So I knew who I was, I knew what I
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: stood for. I was able to say no and I
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: needed to say no, but kindly, you know, show up
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: in meetings, do big presentations, and like, never question if
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: you can dance in front of other people, you can
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: talk in front of other people.
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think.
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: Generally it made it so that I could show up
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: and be confident and be present at work as well.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: This is why improv is such a big thing now
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: for folks that are working their way up within corporate.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: They have so many professional geared improv classes, and I
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: have two friends now that have gone to them, like
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: with their teams. Yeah, I tried it recently for the
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: first time. I went on my own. I just thought
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: that it would be a good thing for me to
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: experiment with, and I can totally understand how it is
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: beneficial to put yourself in this uncomfortable situation where you're
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: doing something that maybe you wouldn't do otherwise. When you
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: were speaking earlier, you were talking about how you weren't
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: someone that really liked to be the center of attention. Well,
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: fast forward to gearing up for the Olympics. You now
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: are not only knowingly becoming the center of attention because
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: you're training to perform on this massive global stage, but
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: then you're thrust into this media spotlight. Everyone wants to
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: talk to the girl who's working at estay. Laud or
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: was up until then and is now pursuing break dancing
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: at the Olympics.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, how did that make you feel?
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: There are there were so many emotions surrounding that, and
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, the real reason why
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I did all of it is because I took every
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: single opportunity as a chance to talk about the community
• 40:14
  Speaker 1: and as a chance to shine a light on what
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: we were doing and why we were doing it and
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: how beautiful sports and art forms like breaking really are.
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: You know. I think breaking has this reputation of being
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: very street gritty, not always having the best light, and
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: yet there are elements like that to breaking, especially in
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: the history, but there are also so many beautiful things
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: about breaking. Not only is it diverse and accessible to
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: so many different people, but it's also just like grown
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: so much and it gives you so much, like it
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: gave me so much, you know. So I just wanted
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: to kind of share and show that there are untraditional
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: pathways to get where you want to get in life.
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: You know, we don't get many opportunities, and it's really
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: hard to make a living off of breaking, So I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: wanted to hopefully kind of get the word out, get
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: a little more attention, and whether that meant just like
• 41:07
  Speaker 1: an extra student for a teacher out in like Minnesota,
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: you know whatever. That looked like, like, that's just that's
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: a small win for taking one interview on Yeah, I
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: probably said yes to wait too many interviews and my
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: schedules insane. But at the end of the day, it
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: was like every single one was because I wanted more
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: people to talk about Breaking. I wanted people to understand
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: what it was really really about, and I wanted people
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: to understand why we were so passionate about it and
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: why we love it so much.
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like people got that out of the Olympics.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: Out of watching the Olympics? It depends on why they
• 41:40
  Speaker 1: were there to watch, you know. And there was so
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: much noise afterwards too, so it really depends on where
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: you got your information. And I mean the type of
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: person you are. There's haters are going to be haters.
• 41:50
  Speaker 1: And all the people who went and only talked about
• 41:53
  Speaker 1: like Raygun afterward, like we weren't going to have you
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: as a fan of Breaking ever anyways, And so that's fine,
• 41:58
  Speaker 1: you stay over there, we don't in the community. But
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: I think there were a lot of people who watched
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: and they were extremely impressed at what we were doing, you know,
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: like even the athletes. So when we were walking around
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: like the Olympic training center, when we were at the games,
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: like people were excited to meet us, and then when
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: they watched this stance, they were like, oh my gosh,
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: you all are like physically so strong, and like what
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: you all do is so incredible, Like we could never
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: do that. And I mean, I can't throw a javelin,
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: like you know, I can't do what you're doing either.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: But I think a lot of people underestimate how challenging
• 42:29
  Speaker 1: breaking really is. So being able to put that on
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: the spotlight and be able to really showcase it was
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: also really special.
• 42:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when someone tells you, oh my god, you're so strong.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: If I say that to you right now, what's your
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: first reaction? Like, what are you going to say back
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: to me?
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you?
• 42:45
  Speaker 3: Wow?
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: How long did it take for you to get to
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: a place where you said thank you?
• 42:50
  Speaker 3: Instead of trying to brush that off.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: It started with not being able to take any compliment whatsoever.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: Is that not the most relatable sentence of all time?
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And again that has to do with like myself
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: with if I'm not enough, I don't deserve this compliment, right,
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: you know, I could always be there's there's always better,
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: there's someone stronger, there's someone prettier, there's someone with better shoes,
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: like whatever, the compliment is. That took some time, and
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: I definitely had some friends be like, hey, like, you
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: should probably work on how you handle compliments, yeah, because
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: I would just brush them off or they oh, no,
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: like whatever. And I think the other piece to that
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: is strong. Today in women is often seen as beautiful,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: but before it wasn't always a There wasn't always a
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: positive association. There was a look that even I myself shunned.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: You know, I actually hated the fact that I was
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: strong growing up. I hated the fact that my thighs
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: were so big that my upper body was wider than
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: my hips and I had no hips and I have
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: no real waste because I just have a lot of
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: muscle around there. And it's also like generically like that's
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: my body type, but there was a lot around that,
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: and I mean still to this day there are days
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: that I struggle. But when I think about like that
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: strength and what I can do with that, that far
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: outweighs the tiny bit of like thigh, I wish sometimes
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: I didn't have.
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Yeah, what's the inner dialogue like for you on
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: the days that you struggle.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: I think most days this is a habit I have
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: where I kind of just if there are emotions or
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: things that are hard for me to handle, and I'm
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: not going to say this is the healthiest of Sometimes
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: I just put them aside and I'm like, you know what,
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to deal with this another day. It serves
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: me on some days, and other days it comes invites
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: me in the butt because you kind of like build
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: those up and all of a sudden they come flooding
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: in all at once, and I you know, I've actually
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: done similar with some of my emotions around the Olympics.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: I haven't really processed them all. Even though it's been
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: a year or just about a year, I think since
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: I competed. There's still some emotions that were just too
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: big for me to handle at that time that I've
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: kind of like put it, I tucked away in a box.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: You know, when you like move and then there's that
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: last box that's sitting in the room that you haven't unpacked.
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: They all just kind of go in that box. So
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: some days that's what happens. Other days it is just
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: running myself, like, hey, I'm gonna go work out, I'm
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: gonna feel better later. It's okay to not feel great sometimes,
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: or to not love how I look sometimes. I would
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: love to get to a point where I love how
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: I look all the time. But like we're human, yeah,
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: and there's so much pressure out there to look anyway.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: But the way you look naturally, so you know, And
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: so I think it's natural some days to wake up
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: like that, and it's okay.
• 45:37
  Speaker 3: It's okay.
• 45:38
  Speaker 2: What do you think will be the catalyst for you
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: unpacking the Olympics box.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: So I've actually have plans of like I really like
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: writing and helps men to organize my thoughts. And I'm
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: not one of those people who like gets up in journals.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I just can't do a stream of consciousness. But taking
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: big ideas and emotions, putting them on paper and then
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: like reorganizing them in a way that accurately depicts how
• 46:02
  Speaker 1: I feel helps me to kind of figure out my emotions.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: And so I've actually already written some pages, chapters and
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: stuff like that of like what I would like to
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: be a book one day, you know, Little by little,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: it's just I have these moments i'll write down a
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: thought or I'm like I need to come back to this,
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: or even sometimes looking at photos like really makes me like,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: there's this one photo of my family I'm going to
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: cry to talk about it, where my whole entire family
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: is all together, they're all a team years say year,
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: They're all like you know, and every time I see it,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: it makes me want to cry. And part of it
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: is because there's some emotion around that, around my whole
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: family being there unconditionally supporting me for the first well
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: I felt like for the first time, you know, yeah,
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: and the clash of that and me not feeling like
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: I deserved it that I think I still have to
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: unpack and so you know, stuff like that have these
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: motions and then I'm like, well, you know what, like
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: I want to podcast and like today without the data
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: part the process so together. Yeah, so it's kind of
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: like we put that aside, but I know, like that's
• 47:08
  Speaker 1: that's one that I know I need to come back to,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: and I know I want to write about. I've kind
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: of like written like a little preface for it, and
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: like almost every time I read it, I cry because
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: it just takes me back to that moment of like
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: competing on the stage entirely understandable.
• 47:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's such a meaningful moment for you personally
• 47:24
  Speaker 2: to be there, and then that is only amplified by
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: looking and seeing all that support in your corner when
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: at so many other moments in your life you questioned,
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: am I worthy of this support?
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah? And I think you know, for me, like for
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: everyone who goes to the Olympics, it's like a special moment, right,
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: But for me, this journey was like learning to dream again,
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: learning to believe in myself, and then finally showing up
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: for myself on that day, you know, letting myself be free.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Like I know for sure that day that goal was met.
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: You know, I was, I was present, I was having
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: so much fun. I walked off that day with zero regrets.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: You know. I was like, I don't and I've talked
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: to people about it afterwards, and like, I don't know
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: that it would have felt the same to have the
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: validation of a medal, because it's like I didn't go
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: there for that, and had I gotten that, that might
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: have taken away the fact that I had done all
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: this work and then like needed something to validate the work.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: I didn't need that. I didn't. It's almost like I didn't.
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: I like truly went in like not even caring or wanting,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Like sure it would have been great, but I really
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: just wanted to show up for myself that day. Yeah,
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: you know, this lifelong dream of mine that I had
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: just like shoved down had come back and this was
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: life saying like do something for yourself. And so there
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: was just like so much that culminated on that day
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: and so many different like meanings to like me showing up.
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: So yeah, it was just like really special for me.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: And like again like my family being there and all together,
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: like we're so rarely together because we're all over the place,
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: everybody showing up and like just being decked out and
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: like just enjoying each other's company, and yeah, everything was
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: just really special.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: Was there for you? And Olympics come down?
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh?
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: It was many many months.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: What did that look like for you?
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Uh? Most days just like waking up into this like blah, Yeah,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: I had zero motivation to do anything, you know, because
• 49:26
  Speaker 1: I had been working. You know, everybody works hard, but
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: just having worked in corporate trying to layer on strength
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: and conditioning and breaking on top of that and working
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: like a pretty demanding job and going through these like
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: rough whatever. And this is also like right after the
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: pandemic and all the stress of the pandemic as well.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: I have felt like I had just been on this
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: like unmanageably insane roller coaster for so long and then
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: just jumped straight into this Olympic pathway right after and
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: naively thought, oh, well, if I quit my job, like
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: I'll have a little bit of time absolutely not between
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: training and media and my partner obligations and like sponsorships
• 50:09
  Speaker 1: and stuff. It's like and the added stress of the Olympics,
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: it's like I felt like I was drowning, you know, constantly,
• 50:17
  Speaker 1: and I had felt like that for so long. So finally,
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: after doing all that and just being like, you know,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: like push, push those things aside, we'll deal with them later.
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: We'll deal with them later, Olympus comes, Compete, go home,
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: and it's like all of that just comes and it's
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: like it's like suffocating, and I just like I wasn't
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: able to do anything for a while, you know. Obviously
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: working with my therapist to kind of work through that.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: During the Olympic journey, I had kind of already started
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: working on like being kind to myself and working on
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: not guilting myself so much over like all the things
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: that I wasn't doing, But it was even more. It
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: was even more about being kind to myself, about giving
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: myself the grace, about allowing myself to feel those feelings
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: and allowing myself to sit with them and be uncomfortable.
• 51:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 51:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you talked when we started about having foggy goals.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: Right now, does part of you think about going back
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: into corporate or are you feeling really content with the
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: training and being a certified strength and conditioning coach?
• 51:24
  Speaker 3: What are you? Where's your head at? Ah?
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not gonna lie and say that I'm
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: never ever tempted. There are parts of me that's like,
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: honestly that life was easier because easier in the sense
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: that I didn't have to put so much thought into it,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: and like, my heart is really in this job. I
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: love working with people. I love being someone's support as
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: they go through this journey, finding movement, finding happiness, finding
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: whatever it is that they need, you know, and being
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: there on them with the journey. But when your heart
• 51:56
  Speaker 1: is in it and you care so much, there's like
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: pressure that comes with that, whereas like I could just
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: show up to my job and I'm working for someone else,
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: and like who cares. I do a great job, sure,
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: but I don't have any skin in the game. Yeah,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: So there are days where I wish, like, man, things
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: were easier back then and I made more money, and
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: you know, I had like set vacation that I could take,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: Like it was just seemed simpler, right, But I wasn't
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: as happy. And you know that always brings me back
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: to I always remind myself, like, I'm so much happier,
• 52:30
  Speaker 1: so much more fulfilled, I'm so much more present, kinder
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: to myself. I'm just a different person today than I
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: was then. And to be honest, I don't while I
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: think it would be easier, I don't think I could
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: actually do it again because I care too much about
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: my happiness.
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's such a great realization to have, one
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: that you now understand these are the things that bring
• 52:55
  Speaker 2: me joy, and these are what I want to focus
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: my life on now. Of course, one needs to figure
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: out how to monetize these things. But along the road
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: to doing that, there is so much more joy because
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: you're coming back and circling back to your values, right, Yeah.
• 53:12
  Speaker 3: Were you training? When did you start training?
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: So I personally started like working out in the gym,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: I think in like twenty twenty two. Okay, so that
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: was the first time I ever started lifting like heavy,
• 53:26
  Speaker 1: and I started working with a coach and I worked
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: with her all through the games and then up until
• 53:30
  Speaker 1: pretty recently when I started programming for myself. Yeah, I
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: started training clients earlier this year.
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: And when did you get your CSCs Was in May
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: this year? Okay, wow.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, And that's an intense journey within itself. The studying for.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: That, yeah, it was a pretty you know, I knew
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: it was going to be difficult, but I still underestimated
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: how challenging it was going to be, especially not having
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: a background and exercise science.
• 53:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: I was always a good student, so I was like,
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: all right, Like the studying part shouldn't too challenging, but
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: the carving out so much time to like self teach
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: myself is really challenging because you know, when you're in school,
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: it's like someone's teaching you and if you have questions
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: you can ask, whereas like I'm just reading a textbook
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: and praying that I understand everything properly. It's hard, So
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: that definitely was pretty challenging. But I guess I'm privileged
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: enough to be able to have set a side time
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: for that and not had a ton of other obligations. Yeah,
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: so I was able to really focus and just do that.
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: What made you decide to go all in on CSCs
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: versus like different CPT certifications.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: I do, at the end of the day, really enjoy
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: So I am a maximizer. I am that like trying
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: to squeeze out that one percent person. Yeah, and that's
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: kind of what the CSS is about. That's what I'm
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: working with Elite athletes is about. But it still gives
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: me the foundation to work with like everybody.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: You know, you said the word elite athletes. So I'm
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: going to just ask you this before we start to
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: wind down. Now, when someone would come to you and
• 54:56
  Speaker 2: say breakers aren't athletes, what would you say in return?
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: Have you ever watched us dance before? Yeah? Have you
• 55:04
  Speaker 1: ever tried it?
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: You know, it was a huge criticism about it being
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: integrated into the games at all, and then I know
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: as soon as they were like and it will not
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: be returning for LA twenty twenty eight, everyone was like, well, duh.
• 55:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but when we walked around the Olympic training center,
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: when we walked around at the Olympics, everybody saw us
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: as a peer and actually there was a lot of
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: admiration for what we did. So many of the other
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: athletes were able to see, oh, like they're legit, they're
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: real athletes too, you know. Yeah, And so for all
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: those other people who may or may not be physical,
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: may or may not have ever tried dancing or even
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: seen it, it's like, you can have your opinions, but
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it doesn't change the
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: fact that breaking is extremely difficult. Is a sport by definition,
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: Look at the definition online, you know. Yeah, I mean
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: it's basically just like organized play that is like competitive,
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: that's it. I mean, that's what we're doing.
• 55:58
  Speaker 3: So this is about sport. It's not about for it.
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: I mean anything that we're talking about in life where
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: it's like you can hate from outside the club, but
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: then you're never going to come in.
• 56:06
  Speaker 3: You know, we don't want you.
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: So that's okay, It's okay.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: Right now, someone comes to your Instagram page, they see
• 56:14
  Speaker 2: someone that is now a proud Olympian, a breaker also
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: in her strength bag.
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: But when you look in the mirror, Sonny, what is
• 56:22
  Speaker 3: it that you see looking back at you?
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: I don't see any of that, And I think they're
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: all parts of my identity, but they're not me, you know. Yeah,
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: I feel like I actually see kind of like the
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: core personality traits that I have, Like I care, I'm kind,
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: I love, I'm honest, maybe to a fault sometimes, but
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: these things that are like very core to who I am.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: I think is what I face in the mirror and
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: what I need to face in the mirror. I have
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: for so long have put caveats on all of those descriptors.
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: You know, I love, but like but you know, sometimes
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: I don't do it enough and I mess up sometimes,
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: But like who cares you know about all these little
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: like quote unquote mistakes. So that's kind of what I
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: really try to see in the mirror. Yeah, Because again,
• 57:18
  Speaker 1: like all these other things that can change, I may decide,
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: like down the road, I actually want to have a
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: nonprofit dance center, and I may pull back a little
• 57:24
  Speaker 1: bit on the shamething conditioning. That doesn't change who I am.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: It just changed one of my descriptors, you know. Yeah,
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: like even the title and being like, I'm still working
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: on that. It's a heavy title to walk around with,
• 57:37
  Speaker 1: you know, and there's a lot of expectation that comes
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: with it, and I'm still coming to terms with that.
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: But again, it's a descriptor. It's not who I am.
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: Heavy title to walk around with, a title of honor,
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: but a title that comes with a.
• 57:50
  Speaker 1: Lot, yeah, a lot of expectation around it.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: What does that expectation look like for you these days?
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: It just depends. It depends on the space, you know.
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: Like to be honest, I went to a run club
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: once and they're like, there's an Olympian here, and they're like, oh,
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: you're the pacesetter. Absolutely not. I'm a really slow runner. Okay,
• 58:07
  Speaker 1: not really slow. I'm like medium slow. So you're gonna
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: catch me in the bat I'm here. Yeah, I run
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: for fun. I love it, And like I live in
• 58:18
  Speaker 1: base sides, so I run on the water. It's really calming,
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: it's very suiting, so good for my mental health. And
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: like I see it as a challenge because I've always
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: been like a strength and power athlete, so doing anything
• 58:29
  Speaker 1: aerobic is extremely challenging for me. But because I'm going
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: into the strength and conditioning field. I wanted to do
• 58:34
  Speaker 1: it because it's like I won't know what it's like
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: until I've done it, and so I wanted to go
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: through the process, maybe run a half one day, who knows.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: So in some spaces it's like, oh, there's all this expectation,
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: and then in other spaces it's like people just I'm
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: an Olympian, but nobody cares. Like my closest friend groups,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: you know, they don't ask me about it. Yeah, I'm
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: just sunny, you know. And so yeah, it really just
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: depends on where I am. It feels different in every space.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: What are you excited about right now?
• 59:04
  Speaker 1: To be honest, I'm excited to be working with some
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: of the clients.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: That I'm working out, that's amazing. Yeah.
• 59:08
  Speaker 1: I just love showing up and being there for other people.
• 59:11
  Speaker 1: I've always been someone who was like wanted to be
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: there for others, which is like great at times and
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: other times it's challenging because I also need a shout
• 59:18
  Speaker 1: for myself, you know, so working on both ends. But
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: right now I'm really excited about that hopefully opening my
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: own gym and then my own dance center one day.
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm excited to go kind of chat it
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: up with some clients and always excited to see my
• 59:35
  Speaker 1: dog and boyfriend at the end of the day.
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: Oh what kind of dog.
• 59:39
  Speaker 1: She's an Australian shepherd Meg.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, the cutest things. I cannot wait to see the
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: photos have to rewrap. Okay, and then final question here
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: right now, you have an opportunity to offer yourself a
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: piece of advice. Knowing what you know now looking back
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: on the hurdle moment, which was I'm going to walk
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: away from the security of this corporate job and make
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: the decision to stop shooting myself. Yeah, and train to
• 1:00:02
  Speaker 2: be an Olympian. Knowing what you know now, what would
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: you tell yourself during that hurdle moment?
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is another one that's going to make me cry.
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: But I think the most important words for me are
• 1:00:12
  Speaker 1: You're enough.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're enough, more than enough. Ain't that the truth?
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 3: My girl?
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you were able to come in
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: and so happy to have you on hurdle. For those
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: that aren't following along with you, just yet give us
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: the detail.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 3: How do we stay up with you?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: Oh? I have like tears dwelling in my eyes. Excuse me.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: Instagram is probably the best way to follow along underscore
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 1: Sunny Choy the Instagram it is.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily Body and at Hurdle Podcast. Another
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time