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Hypnosis for Fear of Judgement - From What If to Even If Confidence · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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  celebrities CE OS and even royalty Adam Cox, these
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  recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's world
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  famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  It's Adam here. Now.
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  Have you ever? Felt worried about.
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  Judgement. And that might be the kind of
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  judgement of if you're in a busy room and everyone's talking, you
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  feel like you can't get up and leave.
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  Or if you're. Going to be interviewed on radio
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  or TV or for a high profile podcast.
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  You might be in your head wondering what are people going
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  to? Think or.
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  If you're invited to do a speech or a presentation, you might be
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  worried about who am I to be doing that and are other people
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  in the room going to be judging me?
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  If any of these things resonate for you, you might get some
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  value from this session. Because at its crux, it is all
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  about the fear of judgement. And the antidote to fear of
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  judgement quite often is self acceptance.
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  That if you accept yourself 100%, that fear of judgement
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  isn't there because you've already reconciled every single
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  part of you. And here's a really useful way
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  to think about shame or feelings of criticism.
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  That if the shame or criticism has validity, then the goal is
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  not to make that emotion go away.
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  The goal is to make a change within your life and become
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  better in that particular area. The caveat, though, is if it's
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  valid. That's difficult to do.
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  If you have perfectionism standards and therefore nothing
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  feels like it's good enough, in which case you're going to have
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  lots of shame, lots of unworthiness, simply because
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  your standards are misaligned. But if your standards are
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  reasonable and you say no, I'm capable here, I try hard here,
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  you know I'm a good person, and then you're feeling all of this
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  fear of judgement, then either self acceptance is going to be
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  really really helpful, or if these things are valid, to
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  create a desire to become a better version of you.
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  Not a bad thing. The idea that we are all perfect
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  and all incapable of any kind of improvements is quite frankly
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  ludicrous. But the fact that you can
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  improve and get better does not mean that you are unacceptable
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  as you are. The best way to change is to
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  feel good enough with a desire to become even better.
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  Now, this particular client would find themselves in
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  situations where they felt confined or trapped or judged,
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  and they had a feeling of getting hot and sweaty and
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  flustered and finding it difficult to talk.
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  Now, that's not great if you're in social situations and social
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  situations that you feel you can't leave.
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  So we do two things here. One, there's lots of kind of
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  relaxation techniques, but we want to work with the part that
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  is trying to protect them by thinking of worst case scenarios
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  and turn that from a protector that is scaremongering to a
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  protector that is reassuring. And then a future pacing that to
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  actually imagine those scenarios that were triggering and have
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  those scenarios that are more comforting.
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  It starts with a regression to a time where this was a very
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  successful client that was featured on TV and a big award
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  ceremonies, but quite often felt like they're an imposter, that
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  they shouldn't be there. But there was a time at a
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  celebrity birthday party where they were introduced to very
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  high profile people and just felt like they belonged, that
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  they felt, of course, they deserve to be there.
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  That's an excellent resource state to harness for these
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  different contexts. OI would encourage you to think
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  about an area of your life where you feel that you aren't quite
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  good enough, that you're as scared or fearful of being
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  judged, and that way you'll get more from this session.
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  It was created for an individual.
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  Some of the suggestions were perfect for them.
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  They may not be relevant for you.
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  So if you do want something customized and bespoke, I would
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  encourage you to look at the link in the description.
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  Or you can check out my website, adamcox.co.uk and there you will
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  find a link to book a free consultation called on Zoom.
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  We'll have a chat and who knows, we might end up working
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  together. For now, though, find a quiet,
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  comfortable place where you won't be distracted or
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  disturbed. Relax.
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  And enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in, and as
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  you breathe in, breathe in that resourceful feeling of calm and
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  relaxation. And as you exhale, give
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  permission to release any tension, any worries, any fears
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  of judgement or not doing it right.
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  Breathe in the resources that you need and exhale any
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  limitations that are no longer useful for you.
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  And I want you to think of a colour.
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  A colour that represents pure self acceptance.
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  Not partial, but pure. And as you breathe in, imagine
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  breathing in that colour of distilled self acceptance.
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  And as you exhale, what if now is the time to release any of
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  those old beliefs that aren't even true?
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  Some people are haunted by an idea that they're not quite
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  enough, not educated enough, not experienced enough.
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  But it's a mirage. Whenever you feel enough, enough
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  gets further away. Where is that pure self
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  acceptance says I am enough right now.
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  So breathe in that colour of pure distilled self acceptance
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  and release all of those perceptions of inadequacies.
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  Release them. See them as a dark grey cloud
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  leaving your body in that outward breath.
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  Consider this an emotional transfusion, breathing in what
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  you need and exhaling what you don't.
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  Each breath takes you deeper and deeper, relaxed.
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  And interestingly, the deeper you breathe, the more relaxed
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  you feel. The more relaxed you feel, the
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  deeper you breathe and the and all your mind accepts that pure
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  self acceptance. As your body relaxes, your
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  imagination awakens, and I want you to imagine.
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  A cottage. By the coast thatched roof.
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  Centuries of history, a connection with something
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  authentic. Real generations of people that
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  knew who they were and who they weren't.
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  Generations of people that had no need pretending to be
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  something they're not. They accepted it and they the
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  quality of life was enhanced by being exactly who they are.
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  And I want you to imagine finding a bed in that cottage
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  that feels like peace, tranquility, and just imagine
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  continuing to breathe in that distilled self acceptance,
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  exhaling any limitations. Each breath takes you sinking
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  into that bed deeper and deeper down, enhancing neural
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  plasticity, where sometimes all it takes is 1 distinction, 1
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  refinement to a belief and identity.
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  And everything changes. And sometimes when one thing
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  changes, it can't go back to how it was before.
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  So let's work with the parts within you to create a useful,
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  beneficial change. Because you already know how to
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  feel calm, relaxed and connected.
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  And what if there's just certain places, environments, where you
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  feel that you have to be on edge, on guard, judged in some
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  way? And the paradox is, if judgement
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  is a threat, your nervous system will act as if that threat is
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  real, like a child too scared to look at the monster under the
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  bed because there's a monster under the bed.
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  But isn't it fascinating that when they finally have the
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  courage to look, of course the monster disappears?
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  And there's a part within you that is keen to not avoid being
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  judged, but embrace being judged because someone with full self
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  acceptance is immune to judgement.
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  If a stranger came up to you, I tried to mock you for being
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  blue, it wouldn't make you feel bad.
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  You're not blue, and even if you were, you would have accepted
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  that you are blue. And by looking it through that
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  lens of absurdity, I wonder how many other things are equally
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  absurd. You don't deserve recognition.
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  Perhaps it's more absurd you haven't earned your place
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  despite decades of dedication, work and learning and wisdom.
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  Isn't that more absurd? So as you breathe in that self
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  acceptance, consider it immunity.
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  That's it. Taking yourself deeper and
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  deeper. Relaxed.
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  Deeper relaxed you become, the more receptive your mind is to
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  wonderful change. And perhaps you can drift back
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  to a memory, a time when you felt like you belonged.
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  Maybe it was the kind of place where famous, all those people
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  held in high regard. We were around and you were
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  there. And I want you to drift back to
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  that memory and just feel how comfortable you felt accepting
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  who you are, feeling like you belonged in that environment.
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  I want you to feel that that environment and feel like a
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  comfortable pair of shoes that you've worn many times.
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  Observe yourself first. See that version of you.
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  You were not smaller and not intimidated, just that
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  enthusiasm, excitement, engagement, breathe the way you
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  brought back then and then step into that version of you
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  associate, see through your own eyes, remember what it felt
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  like, feel the temperature and notice your posture.
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  And there was energy there, but it wasn't anxiety, mindfulness,
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  activation, confidence and just allow that feeling to grow
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  stronger. Now, internally you can turn up
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  the brightness, turn up the clarity instead of who am I to
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  be here? Really connect with the idea
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  that why wouldn't I be here? Turn up that sense of belonging.
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  And even if you were introduced to someone, you would feel just
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  as calm as speaking to someone you've known for years.
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  People are just people, not better, not worse, just people.
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  So connect with the idea that wherever you are, whether you're
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  at an award ceremony on TV, introduced to high profile
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  people, you're not there by accident.
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  You're there because smart, dedicated people thought that it
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  made sense for you to be there because you belong there.
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  So allow that idea to take root like a sapling with time lapse
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  speeded up. Imagine the roots getting deeper
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  and that idea flourishing. Feeling deserving of belonging
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  is not location dependent, it's who you are at your very core.
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  And maybe there's that feeling of of course I belong here, of
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  course I can handle this. Maybe it's in your chest, your
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  shoulders, your heart, your breath.
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  Just imagine that sensation and amplify it.
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  Maybe it expands beyond the realms of your physical body,
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  like an aura, a field around you.
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  And what if this is what composure with activation feels
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  like? Or maybe recall a time when you
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  were being interviewed outside on TV.
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  You knew your topic, you felt credible, You felt all of that
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  space. These neural pathways don't
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  disappear just because you're inside A room.
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  So amplify that composure and then do something.
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  Maybe wiggle your toes or have a long outward breath, something
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  that you'd be able to do in any situation to connect with this
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  feeling. Nobody else would know that long
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  outward breath or wiggling of toes, but that's what makes it
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  work. A discreet trigger that you can
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  activate whenever you want to feel this way.
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  And I want you to imagine going down into a living area in that
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  cottage. And I want you to invite
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  different parts of your spectrum of personalities.
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  Just imagine there's a a bus, a long bus.
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  One driving seat, but over 100 passenger seats.
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  And somewhere, somewhere in that bus is a part that has been
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  trying to protect you. Alert you, warn you of danger.
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  But invite them off the bus to sit down on a sofa or a chair.
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  Invite the protector. Thank it it's always trying to
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  help. And ask that part if it was
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  trying to protect, trying to help you.
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  And if that part nods, then let me know by nodding too.
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  That's it, and you can thank it's wonderful intention, but I
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  want you to share some feedback with that part.
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  Think of a time that it tried to warn you by saying this would be
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  the absolute worst time to feel panicked, anxious, trapped.
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  And that feeling of how you felt in that moment of feeling of
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  being on fire, confined, limited, judged, projected from
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  you to that part that was trying to help.
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  Didn't realize that by helping in that way you were feeling
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  that way. And if that part, the protector
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  is now aware that by helping in that way, they were contributing
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  to the very anxiety that made things worse, maybe their facial
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  expression changes, Maybe ashamed, remorseful, apologetic.
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  And if you can see the change, let me know by nodding your
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  head. And I want you to forgive that
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  part because the intention was good, but I want you to let that
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  part know that you want their assistance.
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  You're not going to exile them. You want to work with them.
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  They are clearly influential and clearly care about you.
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  I want you to ask the part, not tell the part if they would be
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  willing to help you and protect you through reassurance and
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  encouragement, not warnings and fear mongering.
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  Tell that part what it would be like.
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  Reassurance would be it's just a conversation.
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  You deserve this, You belong here.
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  And notice how hard it is to feel anxious when you feel that
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  you deserve it, that you belong, that everything is OK.
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  Paradoxically, with reassurance, you are being protected even
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  more than the warning. And if that part is willing to
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  keep the intention but execute through reassurance and
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  encouragement, then you might see a change in them, how they
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  look, their expressions, their role.
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  Maybe they take more pride, feel more significant.
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  Just try it by stepping into that part and feel what you
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  would feel if you were the protector, protecting through
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  encouragement and reassurance. And then imagine a situation but
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  in the past triggered that anxiety or change in body
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  temperature. Imagine you are now that voice,
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  but instead of saying this would be the worst possible time to
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  you might reframe it then. This is the ideal time to feel
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  proud. This is the ideal time to meet
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  someone new. You deserve this.
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  You belong here. When you play the role of the
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  protector through reassurance, you'll know if that common
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  anxiety is now elusive. And if it feels elusive, let me
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  know by nodding your head. Let's test it out.
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  I want you to imagine it's three months from now and just imagine
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  you're in a big, big hall somewhere near the front.
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  Maybe there's a presentation. It's people around you and that
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  voice is saying you belong here, you're relaxed.
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  If you want to leave, you can. You have just as much freedom as
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  if you were at the back and there was an open door if you
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  were at the front and there's a closed door.
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  And if that feels easier to relax there, amplify it and then
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  breathe in that way. Or wiggle your toes and feel
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  calm, composed. Feel a sense that you are just
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  as free as if you are outside in a large garden.
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  It's all relative compared to being trapped in a tiny box.
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  A room is spacious. A closed door is not a locked
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  door. Feel that your mind is
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  reassuring you with all the options that you have, rather
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  than the limitations that are impeding you.
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  And whether it was a fear of judgement, embarrassment, a loss
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  of control, go back to that feeling where you feel you can
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  handle any of it. So let's change what if to even
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  if. I want you to Imagine you're on
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  a comfy chair looking at a screen, and I want you to
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  imagine seeing yourself on that screen.
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  But that back seat protector telling you what could go
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  horribly wrong is now your guardian, your reassurer.
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  And on that screen, imagine yourself in a big seminar, doors
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  closed, room warm. But that voice has changed from
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  what if to even if. Even if I feel warm or hot, I
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  remain composed. Even if someone looks at me or
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  judges me, who cares? Even if my face flushes
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  slightly, in the big scheme of things it's nothing.
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  And even if I feel activation, a heightened sense, I can direct
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  it and release it. And what if the even if evolves
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  either now or later? So the what if becomes I hope
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  instead of What if. The TV interview is inside, you
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  say I hope it's inside. By having the experience of
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  feeling relaxed inside. The monster under the bed
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  disappears. I hope the door closes because
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  even just once feeling composed, all of this disappears.
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  Feel like you're planting seeds of new ideas, and it's the job
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  of your unconscious mind to incubate, germinate, and help
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  those seeds grow into ideas that become convictions, crowding out
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  any of the old ideas that just don't serve you anymore.
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  If a parent told you that you couldn't do anything without
• 31:28
  qualifications, at what point in your life was that assertion
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  disproved? How many decades ago?
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  Things change, so allow your mind to update its operating
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  system to keep what's good and let go of anything that no
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  longer serves you. And I want you to imagine
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  yourself a year from now at a big award ceremony.
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  I just imagine that version of you confidently, calmly, perhaps
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  accepting an award or giving a small speech, Calm, composed,
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  relaxed. That's where these seeds are
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  heading to a future like that. And as you hold that thought,
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  it's time to return all the way back to the here and the now.
• 32:47
  So take a deep breath in through your nose and out through your
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  nose. Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your
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  toes. Connect and calibrate into the
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  here and the now as I count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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  Starting to count 123 Waking up 456 More alert 7-8.
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  Open your eyes. Open your eyes, 910.
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  Wide awake, Wide awake, wide awake.
• 33:27
  Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode.
• 33:30
  Of the Hypnotist if you've enjoyed.
• 33:32
  This episode or got some value from it, Please give it a five
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  Too and if you would like to. Listen to this.
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  Episode where it's just the hypnosis, so no.
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  Intro No outro. No explanation, just the
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  hypnosis and completely ad free. There will be a link.
• 34:02
  In the description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
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  only get access. To the.
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  Hypnosis. So if that's of.
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  Interest please check that out. Thank you again for being.
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  A regular listener of the hypnotist.
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  And I'll see you again soon for more.