Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #345 Meet Justin's Dad

Transcript

#345 Meet Justin's Dad · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
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  Speaker 2: Now I always remember you is Yeah, there was a
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  Speaker 2: bit of tough love and a bit of just deal
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  Speaker 2: with it.
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  Speaker 3: That's the way it is. I do remember that, but.
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  Speaker 2: I remember you as being the one person that I
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  Speaker 2: could always talk to.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mom
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: God, this is doctor Justin Colson.
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  Speaker 2: I'm the author of six books about raising happy families
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  Speaker 2: and dad to six daughters. Here with Kylie, mum to
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  Speaker 2: our six daughters, and we are well, this is a
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  Speaker 2: big day for me, and I'm kind of nervous about
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  Speaker 2: how it's going to go. We're chatting in the lead
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  Speaker 2: up to Father's Day with our dads and.
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  Speaker 3: It's my dad's turn.
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  Speaker 2: I'm a bit nervous about what he's going to disclose
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  Speaker 2: with the OLGE because I don't.
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  Speaker 4: Think he can say anything worse than mum, Mum put
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  Speaker 4: you in that seat a few times.
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  Speaker 3: I just wasn't an easy kid to live with.
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  Speaker 2: I kind of I feel like I'm the poster child
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  Speaker 2: for every every parent who's worried about their kids being
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  Speaker 2: little rat bags. While they're young and then growing up
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  Speaker 2: into hopefully respectable, contributing members of a society. Because I
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  Speaker 2: wasn't anyway. Let's stop talking about me. Let's talk about
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  Speaker 2: my dad and introduce him. My dad's name is Chris,
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  Speaker 2: Chris Coulson. And when we were young, when I was
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  Speaker 2: growing up, Mum and Dad always had this entrepreneurial thing.
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  Speaker 2: So Dad worked in insurance when I was first born,
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  Speaker 2: and then he was like a manager at KFC. I
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  Speaker 2: might be getting the order around the wrong way a
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  Speaker 2: little bit. And then he started doing a milk run
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  Speaker 2: and Mum and Dad opened up a furniture shop. I
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  Speaker 2: was selling furniture. Dad was doing the milk run, and
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  Speaker 2: ultimately they decided they've got this furniture truck that's not
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  Speaker 2: being used enough, and so Dad started doing furniture removals.
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  Speaker 2: Became pretty much one of the, if not the largest
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  Speaker 2: operator of furniture removals on the New South Wales Central Coast.
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  Speaker 2: Bunch of trucks, a bunch of men, and been doing
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  Speaker 2: that for decades. And the star of the show joins
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  Speaker 2: us right now, Hey Dad, Hi Joe.
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  Speaker 5: Hi Carly, Hey you reckon, you're nervous far out.
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  Speaker 6: Come't doubt it's not that bad. You're just talking to us.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, I know.
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  Speaker 2: By the way, we are the number one rated parenting
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  Speaker 2: and family podcast in the country, so there may be
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  Speaker 2: tens of thousands of other people who are listening as well.
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  Speaker 3: But don't want to put any pressure on you.
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  Speaker 5: No, I'll just say hi to those tens of thousands
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  Speaker 5: and put the white flag up.
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  Speaker 4: Now, Dad, what was it like raising Justin? Do you
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  Speaker 4: have a favorite memory.
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  Speaker 3: Or just a memory?
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  Speaker 6: Maybe you com pete him in a better light than
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  Speaker 6: mum did.
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  Speaker 5: I Look, I think generally Justin was a good kid,
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  Speaker 5: not so much a good teenager. When he first got
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  Speaker 5: his driver's license, he was a bit of a hooligan.
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  Speaker 5: But no, I think in general Justin was a good kid.
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  Speaker 5: He obviously had some really good friends, which helped. I
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  Speaker 5: guess I'm not quite sure about the friends who encouraged
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  Speaker 5: him to go and steal the tennis balls at Terry
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  Speaker 5: the Beach one day.
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  Speaker 4: Gosh, is this the one where you showed up in
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  Speaker 4: the paddywagon?
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  Speaker 2: I can't believe believe that you are sharing that on
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  Speaker 2: this podcast. All right, so I've I've got to add
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  Speaker 2: a little bit of context here.
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  Speaker 5: Hang on, hang on, hang on, this question. You asked
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  Speaker 5: me this question.
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  Speaker 2: So it's been a long day at the beach. I'm
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  Speaker 2: with my with my buddies. We're having a great time.
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  Speaker 2: And we were board waiting for the bus. Because back
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  Speaker 2: in those days, parents didn't pick the kids up. We
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  Speaker 2: just caught the bus to the beach and back. And
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  Speaker 2: I went into the store and didn't have any money,
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  Speaker 2: but we decided that some tennis balls could make life
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  Speaker 2: fun and I tried to pinch them, and the store
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  Speaker 2: owner stopped me outside and marched me around the police station,
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  Speaker 2: which was just around the back of terrrible.
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  Speaker 6: And do you think all of these details are making
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  Speaker 6: you look any better?
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  Speaker 2: No, no, no, I'm just and I got thrown in
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  Speaker 2: the back of the paddywagon and driven back to Dad.
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  Speaker 5: I was at work at the time.
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  Speaker 2: So I'm climbing out of the back of a paddy
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  Speaker 2: wagon with a police officer and dad Dad's work. I
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  Speaker 2: still actually it's heartbreaking.
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  Speaker 3: I can't believe.
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  Speaker 2: I can't imagine what I would do as a dad
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  Speaker 2: if this happened. But I still remember the look on
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  Speaker 2: Dad's face, just the just the absolute disappointment in his son.
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  Speaker 2: It was a devastating moment and something that I will
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  Speaker 2: never ever, ever ever forget. And if I remember, it
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  Speaker 2: was around about September and Dad grounded me til Easter.
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  Speaker 2: In just a sec we're going to ask Dad what
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  Speaker 2: his first impressions were of you, Kylie, missus Happy Families
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: and we might see what on the Josey stories come out.
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  Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
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  Speaker 7: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having
• 4:41
  Speaker 7: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts
• 4:43
  Speaker 7: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits
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  Speaker 7: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at Happy
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  Speaker 7: families dot com dot au slash shop.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
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  Speaker 4: poor parent who just wants answers now.
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  Speaker 6: And today we have a very special guess.
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  Speaker 3: We have your Dad.
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  Speaker 4: We're celebrating Father's Day this week and we thought it
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  Speaker 4: would be a nice treat to talk to both our
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  Speaker 4: dads and today's your dad.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So Dad, question for you. Yes, first impressions of Kylie.
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  Speaker 5: You know, it's funny upon first meeting people and you
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  Speaker 5: have those first impressions and we just well, personally, I
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  Speaker 5: just felt this is the right person for you. She
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  Speaker 5: was young and beautiful, and no doubt you would have
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  Speaker 5: been thinking the same thing. And yeah, I just felt
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  Speaker 5: that she had the right persona and the right background
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  Speaker 5: and everything that you needed to you know, get through
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  Speaker 5: life together.
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  Speaker 2: They go, honey, you're perfect for me, and even my
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  Speaker 2: parents thought so.
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  Speaker 3: No, wonder it's been so good.
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  Speaker 4: I'm wondering, Dad, when you think about Justin as a
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  Speaker 4: young boy, we're there's some traits that you saw in
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  Speaker 4: him then that have been a precursor for who he
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  Speaker 4: has become?
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  Speaker 5: You know, probably not? No, I don't think too much
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  Speaker 5: about that in terms of who he is now. He was.
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  Speaker 5: I think he was a fairly typical kid, you know.
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  Speaker 5: When I when I think about what he was doing
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  Speaker 5: before ish just see, you know, outsurfing instead of home
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  Speaker 5: studying and all that sort of stuff. And I don't
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  Speaker 5: know that he sort of knew whom or what he
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  Speaker 5: wanted to be as he advanced into adulthood. But no,
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  Speaker 5: I think he was a different sort of person back then.
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  Speaker 6: Are you proud of who has become?
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  Speaker 5: Dad?
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  Speaker 3: Don't think about it too had, Dad.
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  Speaker 5: What I what I love about Justin now is what
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  Speaker 5: he's contributing to people who were struggling with being parents
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  Speaker 5: and watching what their kids go through, and it's just
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  Speaker 5: exciting for me to I like to listen to him
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  Speaker 5: talk and give the advice that he gives. And I
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  Speaker 5: love it when I see feedback from people who just
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  Speaker 5: even for the oftentimes for the first time that they've
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  Speaker 5: come into contact with him, and they just say, oh, wow,
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  Speaker 5: you know that advice has just been so helpful and
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  Speaker 5: it's made such a difference in our lives. Like to me,
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  Speaker 5: that's the that's the real bonus, the real, the real
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  Speaker 5: juicy bits that I'm so grateful that he has sort
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  Speaker 5: of gone from that kid who wasn't real keen to
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  Speaker 5: study and to the person that he has become inasmuch
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  Speaker 5: as what he's put in over the last twenty years,
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  Speaker 5: I guess now fifteen to twenty years, and how he's
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  Speaker 5: just helping people.
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  Speaker 3: So just on that.
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  Speaker 2: What do you know now as a dad? You wish
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  Speaker 2: you knew way back when it started forty plus nearly
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  Speaker 2: fifty years ago, when I came into the world and
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  Speaker 2: everyone thought I was somebody else's baby.
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  Speaker 5: You know, that's a difficult question. If I probably needed
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  Speaker 5: to learn to be more understanding rather than just having
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  Speaker 5: things the way I thought they should be, and probably
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  Speaker 5: talking about stuff more rather than just saying, well, no,
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  Speaker 5: this is how it is, and this is what we're
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  Speaker 5: going to do and like it or lump it.
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  Speaker 2: I guess it's so funny to say that, because I
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  Speaker 2: always remember you as, Yeah, there was a bit of
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: tough love and a bit of just deal with it,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: that's the way it is. I do remember that, but
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  Speaker 2: I remember you as being the one person that I
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  Speaker 2: could always talk to and know that no matter how
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  Speaker 2: bad things were, I wasn't really going to get in trouble,
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  Speaker 2: even with the police thing. You were incredibly patient with
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  Speaker 2: me and so.
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  Speaker 3: Good about it.
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  Speaker 2: And I remember coming to you about all kinds of
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  Speaker 2: challenges that I was facing or dumb decisions that I'd made,
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  Speaker 2: and I chose to go to you because you.
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  Speaker 3: Were the level one.
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  Speaker 2: You were the one who would listen to me and
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  Speaker 2: take it in your stride and nod your head and say, okay,
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  Speaker 2: well what are we going to do about it? Whereas
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  Speaker 2: if I'd gotten to Mum, I kind of felt like
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  Speaker 2: there was going to be tantrums and tears and things
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  Speaker 2: might smash against walls. Not not that Mum was likely
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  Speaker 2: to throw things, but that's my sense of how you
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  Speaker 2: were versus how Mum might have been.
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  Speaker 3: Mum.
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  Speaker 2: Mum's always been a lot more emotionally expressive, I think
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  Speaker 2: would be the way to describe it. So it's really
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  Speaker 2: interesting hearing your reflection on that, because it's not consistent
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  Speaker 2: with how I would have thought that you would.
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  Speaker 3: How you'd respond.
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  Speaker 6: I'm wondering, justin in light of that, what's your favorite
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  Speaker 6: memory of Dad?
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  Speaker 3: Oh? Wow?
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  Speaker 2: So my favorite memories of Dad that was a truck
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  Speaker 2: driver ultimately like a furniture removals. And what I love
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  Speaker 2: about this as well is that I don't care what
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  Speaker 2: Dad was from a professional point of view, it's who
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  Speaker 2: he is. And Dad would take me on car trips,
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  Speaker 2: truck interstate truck trips, and we would drive from Gosford
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  Speaker 2: to Victoria, or Gosford to Queensland, whatever it might be.
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  Speaker 3: And he would literally like, I don't like.
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  Speaker 2: Having long, long, long conversations with our kids. Even now,
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  Speaker 2: it sort of drives me bonkers. And Dad had this
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  Speaker 2: incredible patience with me. We'd sit together and we would
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  Speaker 2: play car cricket, and I'm talking about hours and hours.
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  Speaker 2: We would literally play car cricket for the duration of
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  Speaker 2: the trip, or we would sing songs.
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  Speaker 5: And Freddie Wilson had a cap that he didn't want
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  Speaker 5: to keep.
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  Speaker 3: He offered him for free, and he tried to sell
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  Speaker 3: him cheap.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, he called upon the bishop one morning for advice,
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  Speaker 5: and the bishop said, yeah, leave him here to be
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  Speaker 5: very nice.
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  Speaker 2: But the cat came back. He didn't want to stay.
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  Speaker 2: He was sitting on the porch. The very next day,
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  Speaker 2: the cat came back. He didn't want to own. The
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  Speaker 2: very next day he was home.
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  Speaker 3: Sweet.
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  Speaker 2: So we used to sing that and cannon Ball and
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  Speaker 2: a whole lot of other songs. Just really fun. Favorite
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  Speaker 2: memories there. But I also remember Dad would take us camping.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think Dad likes camping.
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  Speaker 5: I hate camping, but.
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  Speaker 6: I never knew the dad went camp Dad took us camping.
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  Speaker 2: We would go on holidays and I remember, you know what,
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  Speaker 2: my favorite memories of Dad, we'd gone surfing at Wombreo Beach.
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  Speaker 3: Which was just down the road from where we lived.
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  Speaker 2: We lived at Wombreleo on the Central Coast, and I
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  Speaker 2: was out with a couple of friends and Dad, and
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  Speaker 2: we had some really fun memories surfing. On this particular day,
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  Speaker 2: I'm paddling into this wave. I've taken off, I've set
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  Speaker 2: my line, I've ducked, and I've crouched down. The barrel
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  Speaker 2: has come over the top of my head. And as
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  Speaker 2: the barrel comes over the top of my head, I
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  Speaker 2: look up and see paddling onto the shoulder of the
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  Speaker 2: waves to drop in on me.
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  Speaker 3: I see this.
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  Speaker 2: Great, big smile on my dad's face, and he's just
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  Speaker 2: kind of going or something like that, and then he
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  Speaker 2: takes off completely shuts the wave down on me. I
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  Speaker 2: get absolutely crushed in the barrel. And my friends see
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  Speaker 2: the whole thing and they just laugh and laugh and
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  Speaker 2: say that was pretty much the best burn we've ever
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  Speaker 2: seen in our lives.
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  Speaker 3: Dad caught a really great wave. Do you remember that one? Dad?
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  Speaker 5: Yeah, to be fair, justin like to get context here,
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  Speaker 5: I think you'd probably dropped in on me about six
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  Speaker 5: times that morning.
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  Speaker 6: Sounds about right, Dad.
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  Speaker 5: So I was basically trying to just get a little
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  Speaker 5: bit square and tell you to wreck off my wave.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it was my wave, I'm just saying. So
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  Speaker 2: we just had fun. Dad was just always willing to
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: have a chat and willing to listen, and they're just
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  Speaker 2: a couple of the golden memories that I have, and
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  Speaker 2: I could keep on going for hours.
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  Speaker 4: I'm wondering, as we close up this conversation whether or
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: not you could share with us what you're most grateful
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  Speaker 4: for about being a dad.
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  Speaker 5: Well, you know, there's been so many opportunities in life
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  Speaker 5: to share with kids, and you know, I think of
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  Speaker 5: some of the trips we've been on and some of
• 12:54
  Speaker 5: the times where we've just sat and watched a movie.
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  Speaker 5: I think of times when we've been able to go
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: on watch a game of footy or something. But you know,
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  Speaker 5: this might be a little bit left of center, but
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  Speaker 5: one of the things that I've enjoyed so much about
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  Speaker 5: being a dad is actually watching my grandchildren, you know,
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  Speaker 5: the kids of my kids. I now have more time
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: to spend with my family. Although I'm not retired yet,
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  Speaker 5: I'm looking forward to that day, but just spending the
• 13:32
  Speaker 5: time with my family and enjoying my children's children has
• 13:37
  Speaker 5: been a real big bonus for me as a dad.
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  Speaker 5: To see, you know, the posterity moving forward. It's been awesome.
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  Speaker 2: Hey, Dad, it's been really, really really nice to talk
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: with you about this stuff. Thanks for joining us and
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: being so open and honest about what you've shared.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: I want you to know I love you, Love you too.
• 13:58
  Speaker 5: Happy Father's Day and Happy Father's Day to you, and thank.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: You, Kylie. So we really hope that you've enjoyed the conversation.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: Thanks so much for listening, And as we prepare for
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Father's Day, I hope that you can do something wonderful
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: for your dad if he's available and if he's around,
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: and if not, maybe something in memory of him. The
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Happy Family's podcast is produced by Justin Ruhland from Bridge Media.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer and as always, if
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: you'd like further support ways that we can help to
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: make your family happier, please visit Happyfamilies dot com dot
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: au and have a look at our Happy Families memberships