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Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl · Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl

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  Introduction. Northerners know nothing at all about slavery. They think it is perpetual
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  bondage. Only they have no conception of the depth of degradation involved in that
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  word slavery. If they had, they would never cease their efforts until so
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  horrible a system was overthrown. A woman of North Carolina, rise up,
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  Ye women that are at ease, hear my voice, Ye careless daughters,
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  give ear unto my speech. Isaiah, Chapter thirty two, verse nine,
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  edited by L. Maria Child Boston, published for the author eighteen sixty one.
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  Preface by the author. Reader, be assured this narrative is no fiction.
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  I am aware that some of my adventures may seem incredible, but they
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  are nevertheless strictly true. I have not exaggerated the wrongs in afflicted by slavery.
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  On the contrary, my descriptions far fall short of the facts. I
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  have concealed the names of places and given persons fictitious names. I had no
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  motive for secrecy on my own account, but I deemed it kind and considerate
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  towards others to pursue this course. I wish I were more competent to the
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  task. I have undertaken. But I trust my readers will excuse deficiencies and
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  consideration of circumstances. I was born and reared in slavery, and I remained
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  in a slave state twenty seven years. Since I have been at the North,
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  it has been necessary for me to work diligently for my own support and
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  the education of my children. This has not left me much leisure to make
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  up for the loss of early opportunities to improve myself, and it has compelled
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  me to write these pages at irregular intervals whenever I could snatch an hour from
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  household duties. When I first arrived in Philadelphia, Bishop Payne advised me to
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  publish a sketch of my life, but I told him I was all together
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  incompetent to such an undertaking. Though I have improved my mind somewhat since that
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  time, I still remain of the same opinion. But I trust my motives
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  will excuse what might otherwise seem presumptuous. I have not written my experiences in
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  order to attract attention to myself. On the contrary, it would have been
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  more pleasant to me to have been silent about my own history. Neither do
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  I care to excite sympathy for my own sufferings. But I do earnestly desire
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  to arouse the women of the North to a realizing sense of the condition of
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  two millions of women at the South, still in bondage, suffering what I
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  suffered, and most of them far worse. I want to add my testimony
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  to that of Abler Pens to convince the people of the Free States what slavery
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  really is. Only by experience can anyone realize how deep and dark and foul
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  is that pit of abominations. May the blessing of God rest on this imperfect
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  effort in behalf of my persecuted people. Linda Brent introduction by the editor.
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  The author of the following autobiography is personally known to me, and her conversation
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  and manners inspire me with confidence. During the last seventeen years, she has
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  lived the greater part of the time with a distinguished family in New York,
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  and has so deported herself as to be highly esteemed by them. This fact
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  is sufficient without further credentials of her character. I believe those who know her
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  will not be disposed to doubt her veracity. Though some incidents in her story
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  are more romantic than fiction. At her request, I have revised her manuscript.
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  But such changes as I have made have been mainly for purposes of condensation
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  and orderly arrangement. I have not added anything to the incidents or changed the
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  import of her very pertinent remarks. With trifling exceptions, both the ideas and
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  the language are her own. I pruned excrescences a little, but otherwise I
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  had no reason for changing her lively and dramatic way of telling her own story.
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  The names of both persons and places are known to me, but for
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  good reasons I suppress them. It will naturally excite surprise that a woman reared
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  in slavery should be able to write so well, but circumstances will explain this.
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  In the first place, nature endowed her with quick perceptions. Secondly,
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  the mistress with whom she lived till she was twelve years old, was a
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  kind, considerate friend who taught her to read and spell. Thirdly, she
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  was placed in favorable circumstances after she came to the North, having frequent intercourse
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  with intelligent persons who felt a friendly interest in her welfare and were disposed to
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  give her opportunities for self improvement. I am well aware that many will accuse
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  me of in decorum for presenting these pages to the public. For the experiences
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  of this intelligent and much injured woman belonged to a class which some call delicate
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  subjects and others indelicate. This peculiar phase of slavery has generally been kept veiled,
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  but the public ought to be made acquainted with its monstrous features, and
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  I willingly take the responsibility of presenting them with the veil withdrawn. I do
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  this for the sake of my sisters in bondage, who are suffering wrongs so
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  foul that our ears are too delicate to listen to them. I do it
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  with the hope of arousing conscientious and reflecting women at the North to a sense
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  of their duty in the exertion of moral influence on the question of slavery on
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  all possible occasions. I do it with the hope that every man who reads
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  this narrative will swear solemnly before God that so far as he has power to
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  prevent it, no fugitive from slavery shall ever be sent back to suffer in
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  that loathsome den of corruption and cruelty. El Maria Child end of introduction,
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  Chapter one. Childhood. I was born a slave, but I never knew
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  it till six years of happy childhood had passed away. My father was a
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  carpenter, and considered so intelligent and skillful in his trade that when buildings out
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  of the common line were to be erected, he was sent for from long
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  distances to be head workmen. On condition of paying his mistress two hundred dollars
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  a year and supporting himself, he was allowed to work at his trade and
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  manage his own affairs. His strongest wish was to purchase his children, but
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  though he several times offered his hard earnings for that purpose, he never succeeded.
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  In complexion, my parents were a light shade of brownish yellow and were
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  termed mulattoes. They lived together in a comfortable home, and though we were
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  all slaves, I was so fondly shielded that I never dreamed I was a
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  piece of merchandise, trusted to them for safe keeping, and liable to be
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  demanded of them at any moment. I had one brother, William, who
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  was two years younger than myself, A bright, affectionate child. I had
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  also a great treasure in my maternal grandmother, who was a remarkable woman in
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  many respects. She was the daughter of a planter in South Carolina, who,
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  at his death left her mother and his three children free with money to
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  go to Saint Augustine, where they had relatives. It was during the Revolutionary
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  War, and they were captured on their passage, carried back and sold to
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  different purchasers. Such was the story my grandmother used to tell me, but
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  I do not remember all the particulars. She was a little girl when she
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  was captured and sold to the keeper of a large hotel. I have often
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  heard her tell how hard she fared during childhood, but as she grew older
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  she evinced so much intelligence and was so faithful that her master and mistress could
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  not help, seeing it was for their interest to take care of such a
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  valuable piece of property. She became an indispensable personage in the household, officiating
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  in all capacities, from cook and wet nurse to seamstress. She was much
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  praised for her cooking, and her nice crackers became so famous in the neighborhood
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  that many people were desirous of obtaining them. In consequence of numerous requests of
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  this kind, she asked permission of her mistress to bake crackers at night after
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  all the household work was done, and she obtained leave to do it,
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  provided she would clothe herself and her children from the prophets. Upon these terms,
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  after working hard all day for her mistress, she began her midnight bakings,
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  assisted by her two oldest children. The business proved profitable, and each
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  year she laid by a little which was saved for fun to purchase her children.
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  Her master died and the property was divided among his heirs. The widow
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  had her dower in the hotel, which she continued to keep open. My
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  grandmother remained in her service as a slave, but her children were divided among
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  her master's children, as she had five. Benjamin, the youngest one,
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  was sold in order that each heir might have an equal portion of dollars and
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  cents. There was so little difference in our ages that he seemed more like
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  my brother than my uncle. He was a bright, handsome lad, nearly
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  white, for he inherited the complexion my grandmother had derived from Anglo Saxon ancestors.
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  Though only ten years old, seven hundred and twel empty dollars were paid
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  for him, His sale was a terrible blow to my grandmother, but she
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  was naturally hopeful, and she went to work with renewed energy, trusting in
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  time to be able to purchase some of her children. She had laid up
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  three hundred dollars, which her mistress one day begged as alone, promising to
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  pay her soon. The reader probably knows that no promise or writing given to
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  a slave is legally binding, for according to Southern laws, a slave being
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  property can hold no property. When my grandmother lent her hard earnings to her
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  mistress, she trusted solely to her honor, the honor of a slave holder
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  to a slave. To this good grandmother, I was indebted from many comforts.
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  My brother Willie and I often received portions of the crackers, cakes,
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  and preserves she made to sell, and after we ceased to be children,
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  we were indebted to her for many more important services. Such were the unusually
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  fortunate circumstances of my early childhood. When I was six years old, my
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  mother died, and then and for the first time, I learned by the
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  talk around me, that I was a slave. My mother's mistress was the
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  daughter of my grandmother's mistress. She was the foster sister of my mother.
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  They were both nourished at my grandmother's breast. In fact, my mother had
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  been weaned at three months old that the babe of the mistress might obtain sufficient
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  food. They played together as children, and when they became women, my
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  mother was a most faithful servant to her whiter foster sister. On her death
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  bed, her mistress promised that her children should never suffer for anything, and
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  during her lifetime she kept her word. They all spoke kindly of my dead
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  mother, who had been a slave merely in name, but in nature was
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  noble and womanly. I grieved for her, and my young mind was troubled
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  with the thought who would now take care of me? In my little brother.
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  I was told that my home was now to be with her mistress,
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  and I found it a happy one. No toilsome or disagreeable duties were imposed
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  on me. My mistress was so kind to me that I was always glad
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  to do her bidding, and proud to labor for her. As much as
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  my young years would permit. I would sit by her side for hours,
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  sewing diligently, with a heart as free from care as that of any free
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  born white child. When she thought I was tired, she would send me
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  out to run and jump, and away I bounded to gather berries or flowers
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  to decorate her room. Those were happy days, too happy to last.
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  The slave child had no thought for the morrow. But there came that blight
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  which too surely waits on every human being born to be a chattel. When
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  I was nearly twelve years old, my kind mistress sickened and died. As
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  I saw the cheek grow paler and the eye more glassy, how earnestly I
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  prayed in my heart that she might live. I loved her, for she
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  had been almost like a mother to me. My prayers were not answered.
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  She died, and they buried her in the little churchyard, where day after
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  day my tears fell upon her grave. I was sent to spend a week
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  with my grandmother. I was now old enough to begin to think of the
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  future, and again and again I asked myself what they would do with me.
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  I felt sure I should never find another mistress so kind as the one
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  who was gone. She had promised my dying mother that her children should never
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  suffer for anything. And when I remembered that and recalled her, many proofs
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  of attachment to me. I could not help having some hopes that she had
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  left me free. My friends were almost certain it would be so. They
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  thought she would be sure to do it on account of my mother's love and
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  faithful service. But alas we all know that the memory of a faithful slave
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  does not avail much to save her children from the auction block. After a
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  brief period of suspense, the will of my mistress was read, and we
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  learned that she had bequeathed me to her sister's daughter, a child of five
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  years old. So vanished our hopes. My mistress had taught me the precepts
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  of God's word, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Whatsoever ye would
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  that men should do unto you, do ye even so unto them. But
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  I was her slave, and I suppose she did not recognize me as her
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  neighbor. I would give much to blot out from my memory that one great
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  wrong. As a child, I loved my mistress, and looking back on
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  the happy days I spent with her, I try to think with less bitterness
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  of this act of injustice. While I was with her, she taught me
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  to read and spell, and for this privilege, which so rarely falls to
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  the lot of a slave. I bless her memory. She possessed but few
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  slaves, and at her death those were all distributed among her relatives. Five
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  of them were my grandmother's children, and had shared the same milk that nourished
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  her mother's children. Notwithstanding my grandmother's long and faithful service to her owners,
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  not one of her children escaped the auction block. These god breathing machines are
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  no more in the sight of their masters than the cotton they plant or the
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  horses they tend. End of chapter one, Chapter two. The new master
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  and mistress, doctor Flint, a physician in the neighborhood, had married the
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  sister of my mistress, and I was now the property of their little daughter.
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  It was not without murmuring that I prepared for my new home. And
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  what added to my unhappiness was the fact that my brother, William, was
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  purchased by the same family. My father, by his nature as well as
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  by the habit of transacting business as a skilful mechanic, had more of the
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  feelings of a free man than is common among slaves. My brother was a
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  spirited boy, and being brought up under such influences, he daily detested the
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  name of master and mistress. One day, when his father and his mistress
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  both happened to call him at the same time, he hesitated between the two,
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  being perplexed to know which had the strongest claim upon his obedience. He
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  finally concluded to go to his mistress. When my father reproved him for it,
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  he said, you both called me, and I didn't know which I
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  ought to go to first. You are my child, replied our father,
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  and when I call you, you should come immediately if you have to pass
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  through fire and water. Poor Willie, he was now to learn his first
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  lesson of obedience to a master. Grandmother tried to cheer us with hopeful words,
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  and they found an echo in the credulous hearts of youth. When we
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  entered our new home, we encountered cold looks, cold words, and cold
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  treatment. We were glad. When the night came on my narrow bed,
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  I moaned and wept. I felt so desolate and alone. I had been
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  there nearly a year. When a dear little friend of mine was buried.
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  I heard her mother's sob as the clods fell on the coffin of her only
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  child, and I turned away from the grave, feeling thankful that I still
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  had something left to love. I met my grandmother, who said, come
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  with me, Linda, and from her tone I knew that something sad had
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  happened. She led me apart from the people and then said, my child,
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  your father is dead dead. How could I believe it? He had
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  died so suddenly. I had not even heard that he was sick. I
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  went home with my grandmother. My heart rebelled against God who had taken from
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  me mother, father, mistress, and friend. The good grandmother tried to
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  comfort me. Who knows the ways of God? Said she, Perhaps they
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  have been kindly taken from the evil days to come. Years afterwards, I
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  often thought of this. She promised to be a mother to her grandchildren,
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  so far as she might be permitted to do so. And strengthened by her
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  love, I returned to my master's I thought I should be allowed to go
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  to my father's house the next morning, but I was ordered to go for
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  flowers that my mistress's house might be decorated for an evening party. I spent
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  the day gathering flowers and weaving them into festoons, while the dead body of
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  my father was lying within a mile of me? What cared my owners for
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  that he was merely a piece of property. Moreover, they thought he had
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  spoiled his children by teaching them to feel that they were human beings. This
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  was blasphemous doctrine for a slave to teach, presumptuous in him, and dangerous
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  to the masters. The next day I followed his remains to a humble grave
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  beside that of my dear mother. There were those who knew my father's worth
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  and respected his memory. My home now seemed more dreary than ever. The
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  laugh of the little slave children sounded harsh and cruel. It was selfish to
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  feel so about the joy of others. My brother moved about with a very
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  grave face. I tried to comfort him by saying, take courage, Willie,
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  Brighter days will come by and by. You don't know anything about it,
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  Linda, He replied, we shall have to stay here all our days.
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  We shall never be free. I argued that we were growing older and
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  stronger, and that perhaps we might before long be allowed to hire our own
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  time, and then we could earn money to buy our freedom. William declared
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  this was much easier to say than to do. Moreover, he did not
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  intend to buy his freedom. We held daily controversies upon this subject. Little
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  attention was paid to the slaves meals in doctor Flint's house if they could catch
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  a bit of food while it was going well and good. I gave myself
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  no trouble on that score. For on my various errands, I passed my
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  grandmother's house, where there was always something to spare for me. I was
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  frequently threatened with punishment if I stopped there, and my grandmother, to avoid
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  detaining me, often stood at the gate with something for my breakfast or dinner.
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  I was indebted to her for all my comforts, spiritual or temporal.
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  It was her labor that supplied my scanty wardrobe. I have a vivid recollection
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  of the Lindsey Woolsey dress given me every winter by missus Flint. How I
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  hated it. It was one of the badges of slavery. While my grandmother
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  was thus helping to support me from her hard earnings, the three hundred dollars
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  she had lent her mistress were never repaid. When her mistress died, her
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  son in law, Doctor Flint, was appointed executor when grandmother applied to him
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  for payment. He said the estate was insolvent and the law prohibited payment.
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  It did not, however, prohibit him from retaining the silver candelabra which had
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  been purchased with that money. I presume they will be handed down in the
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  family from generation to generation. My grandmother's mistress had always promised her that at
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  her death she should be free, and it was said that in her will
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  she made good the promise. But when the estate was settled, doctor Flint
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  told the faithful old servant that under existing circumstances, it was necessary she should
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  be sold. On the appointed day, the customary advertisement was posted up,
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  proclaiming that there would be a public sale of Negroes, horses, et cetera.
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  Doctor Flint called to tell my grandmother that he was unwilling to wound her
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  feelings by putting her up at auction, and that he would prefer to dispose
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  of her at private sale. My grandmother saw through his hypocrisy. She understood
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  very well that he was a shamed of the job. She was a very
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  spirited woman, and if he was base enough to sell her when her mistress
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  intended she should be free, she was determined the public should know it.
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  She had for a long time, supplied many families with crackers and preserves.
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  Consequently, Aunt Marthy, as she was called, was generally known, and
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  everybody who knew her respected her intelligence and good character. Her long and faithful
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  service in the family was also well known, and the attention of her mistress
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  to leave her free. When the day of sale came, she took her
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  place among the chattels, and at the first call she sprang upon the auction
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  block. Many voices called out, shame, shame, who was going to
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  sell you, Aunt Marthy? Don't stand there, That is no place for
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  you. Without saying a word, she quietly awaited her fate. No one
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  bid for her. At last, a feeble voice said fifty dollars. It
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  came from a maiden lady seventy years old, the sister of my grandmother's deceased
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  mistress. She had lived forty years under the same roof with my grandmother.
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  She knew how faithfully she had served her owners, and how cruelly she had
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  been defrauded of her rights, and she resolved to protect her. The auctioneer
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  waited for a higher bid, but her wishes were respected. No one bid
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  above her. She could neither read nor write, and when the bill of
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  sale was made out, she signed it with a cross. But what consequence
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  was that, when she had a big heart overflowing with human kindness, she
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  gave the old servant her freedom. At that time, my grandmother was just
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  fifty years old. Laborious years had passed since then, and now my brother
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  and I were slaves to the man who had defrauded her of her money and
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  tried to defraud her of her freedom. One of my mother's sisters, called
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  Aunt Nancy, was also a slave in his family. She was a kind,
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  good aunt to me, and supplied the place of both housekeeper and waiting
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  maid to her mistress. She was, in fact at the beginning and end
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  of everything. Missus Flint, like many Southern women, was totally deficient in
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  enery. She had not strength to superintend her household affairs, but her nerves
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  were so strong that she could sit in her easy chair and see a woman
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  whipped till the blood trickled from every stroke of the lash. She was a
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  member of the church, but partaking of the Lord's Supper did not seem to
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  put her in a Christian frame of mind. If dinner was not served at
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  the exact time on that particular Sunday, she would station herself in the kitchen
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  and wait till it was dished, and then spit in all the kettles and
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  pans that had been used for cooking. She did this to prevent the cook
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  and her children from eking out their meager fare with the remains of the gravy
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  and other scrapings. The slaves could get nothing to eat except what she chose
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  to give them. Provisions were weighed out by the pound and ounce three times
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  a day. I can assure you she gave them no chance to eat wheat
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  bread from her flour barrel. She knew how many biscuits a quart of flour
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  would make, and exactly what size they ought to be. Doctor Flint was
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  an epicure. The cook never sent a dinner to his table without fear and
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  trembling, for if there had been and to be a dish not to his
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  liking, he would either order her to be whipped or compel her to eat
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  every mouthful of it in his presence. The poor hungry creature might not have
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  objected to eating it, but she did object to having her master kramat down
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  her throat till she choked. They had a pet dog that was a nuisance
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  in the house. The cook was ordered to make some Indian mush for him.
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  He refused to eat, and when his head was held over it,
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  the froth flowed from his mouth into the basin. He died a few minutes
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  after. When Doctor Flint came in. He said the mush had not been
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  well cooked, and that was the reason the animal would not eat it.
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  He sent for the cook and compelled her to eat it. He thought that
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  the woman's stomach was stronger than the dog's, but her sufferings afterwards proved that
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  he was mistaken. This poor woman endured many cruelties from her master and mistress.
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  Sometimes she was locked up away from her nursing baby for a whole day
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  and night. When I had been in the family a few weeks, one
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  of the plantation slaves was brought to town by order of his master. It
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  was near night when he arrived, and Doctor Flint ordered him to be taken
• 24:04
  to the workhouse and tied up to the joist so that his feet would just
• 24:07
  escape the ground. In that situation, he was to wait till the doctor
• 24:11
  had taken his tea. I shall never forget that night, never before in
• 24:17
  my life had I heard hundreds of blows fall in succession on a human being.
• 24:22
  His piteous groans and his oh pray, don't massa rang in my ear
• 24:27
  for months afterwards. There were many conjectures as to the cause of this terrible
• 24:33
  punishment. Some said master accused him of stealing corn. Others said the slave
• 24:37
  had quarreled with his wife in presence of the overseer and had accused his master
• 24:41
  of being the father of her child. They were both black, and the
• 24:45
  child was very fair. I went into the workhouse next morning and saw the
• 24:51
  cowhide still wet with blood, and the boards all covered with gore. The
• 24:55
  poor man lived and continued to quarrel with his wife. A few months afterwards,
• 25:00
  Doctor Flint handed them both over to a slave trader. The guilty man
• 25:03
  put their value into his pocket and had the satisfaction of knowing that they were
• 25:07
  out of sight and hearing. When the mother was delivered into the trader's hands,
• 25:11
  she said, you promised to treat me well, to which he replied,
• 25:15
  you've let your tongue run too far. Damn you. She had forgotten
• 25:21
  that it was a crime for a slave to tell who was the father of
• 25:22
  her child from others than the master. Persecution also comes in such cases.
• 25:29
  I once saw a young slave girl dying soon after the birth of a child,
• 25:33
  nearly white. In her agony, she cried out, Oh Lord,
• 25:37
  come and take me. Her mistress stood by and mocked at her like an
• 25:41
  incarnate fiend. You suffer, do you? She exclaimed, I am glad
• 25:45
  of it. You deserve it all and more too. The girl's mother said,
• 25:52
  the baby is dead, thank God, and I hope my poor child
• 25:55
  will soon be in heaven too. Heaven, retorted the mistress, there is
• 26:00
  no such place for the like of her and her bastard. The poor mother
• 26:04
  turned away, sobbing. Her dying daughter called her feebly, and as she
• 26:08
  bent over her I heard her say, don't grieve so mother, God knows
• 26:14
  all about it, and he will have mercy upon me. Her sufferings afterwards
• 26:19
  became so intense that her mistress felt unable to stay. But when she left
• 26:23
  the room, the scornful smile was still on her lips. Seven children called
• 26:29
  her mother. The poor black woman had but this one child, whose eyes
• 26:33
  she saw closing in death. While she thanked God for taking her away from
• 26:37
  the greater bitterness, of Life. End of chapter two, Chapter three,
• 26:45
  the slaves New Year's Day. Doctor Flint owned a fine residence in town,
• 26:51
  several farms, and about fifty slaves, besides hiring a number by the year.
• 26:56
  Hiring Day at the South takes place on the first of January. On
• 27:00
  the second, the slaves are expected to go to their new masters on a
• 27:03
  farm. They work until the corn and cotton are laid. They then have
• 27:07
  two holidays. Some masters give them a good dinner under the trees. This
• 27:11
  over, they work until Christmas Eve. If no heavy charges are meantime brought
• 27:17
  against them, they are given four or five holidays, whichever the master or
• 27:21
  overseer may think proper. Then comes New Year's Eve, and they gather together
• 27:26
  their little awls, or more properly speaking, their little nothings, and wait
• 27:30
  anxiously for the dawning of day. At the appointed hour, the grounds are
• 27:34
  thronged with men, women and children, waiting like criminals to hear their doom
• 27:38
  pronounced. The slave is sure to know who is the most humane or cruel
• 27:44
  master within forty miles of him. It is easy to find out on that
• 27:48
  day who clothes and feeds his slaves well. For he is surrounded by a
• 27:52
  crowd begging, please, Massa, hire me this year. I will work
• 27:56
  very hard, Massa. If a slave is unwilling to go with his new
• 28:02
  master, he is whipped or locked up in jail until he consents to go
• 28:07
  and promises not to run away during the year. Should he chance to change
• 28:11
  his mind, thinking it justifiable to violate an extorted promise, woe unto him.
• 28:15
  If he is caught. The whip is used till the blood flows at
• 28:18
  his feet, and his stiffened limbs are put in chains to be dragged in
• 28:22
  the field for days and days. If he lives until the next year,
• 28:26
  perhaps the same man will hire him again, without even giving him an opportunity
• 28:30
  of going to the hiring ground. After those for hire are disposed of,
• 28:34
  those for sale are called up. Oh you happy free women, contrast your
• 28:41
  New Year's day with that of the poor bond woman with you. It is
• 28:45
  a pleasant season, and the light of the day is blessed. Friendly wishes
• 28:48
  meet you everywhere, and gifts are showered upon you. Even hearts that have
• 28:52
  been estranged from you soften at this season, and lips that have been silent
• 28:56
  echo back. I wish you a happy New Year. Children bring their little
• 29:02
  offerings and raise their rosy lips for a caress. They are your own,
• 29:07
  and no hand but that of death can take them from you. But the
• 29:11
  slave mother New Year's Day comes laden with peculiar sorrows. She sits on her
• 29:17
  cold cabin floor, watching the children, who may all be torn from her
• 29:21
  the next morning, and often does she wish that she and they might die
• 29:25
  before the day dawns. She may be an ignorant creature, degraded by the
• 29:29
  system that has brutalized her from childhood, but she has a mother's instincts and
• 29:33
  is capable of feeling a mother's agonies. On one of those sail days,
• 29:38
  I saw a mother lead seven children to the auction block. She knew that
• 29:42
  some of them would be taken from her, but they took all. The
• 29:45
  children were sold to a slave trader, and their mother was bought by a
• 29:49
  man in her own town. Before night, her children were all far away.
• 29:55
  She begged the trader to tell her where he intended to take them.
• 29:57
  This he refused to do. How could he when he knew he would sell
• 30:03
  them one by one wherever he could command the highest price. I met that
• 30:07
  mother in the street, and her wild, haggard face lives to day in
• 30:11
  my mind. She wrung her hands in anguish and exclaimed, gone, all
• 30:17
  gone, Why don't God kill me? I had no words wherewith to comfort
• 30:22
  her. Instances of this kind are of daily yea of hourly occurrence. Slaveholders
• 30:30
  have a method peculiar to their institution of getting rid of old slaves whose lives
• 30:34
  have been worn out in their service. I knew an old woman who,
• 30:38
  for seventy years faithfully served her master. She had become almost helpless from hard
• 30:45
  labor and disease. Her owners moved to Alabama, and the old black woman
• 30:48
  is left to be sold to anybody who would give twenty dollars for her.
• 30:56
  End of Chapter three, Chapter four, the slave who dared to feel like
• 31:00
  a man. Two years had passed since I entered Doctor Flint's family, and
• 31:07
  those years had brought much of the knowledge that comes from experience, though they
• 31:11
  had afforded little opportunity for any other kinds of knowledge. My grandmother had,
• 31:15
  as much as possible been a mother to her orphan grandchildren. By perseverance and
• 31:19
  unwearied industry. She was now mistress of a snug little home surrounded with the
• 31:25
  necessaries of life. She would have been happy, could her children have shared
• 31:27
  them with her. There remained but three children and two grandchildren, all slaves.
• 31:33
  Most earnestly did she strive to make us feel that it was the will
• 31:37
  of God that he had seen fit to place us under such circumstances. And
• 31:41
  though it seemed hard, we ought to pray for contentment. It was a
• 31:45
  beautiful faith coming from a mother who could not call her children her own.
• 31:49
  But I and Benjamin, her youngest boy, condemned it. We reasoned that
• 31:55
  it was much more the will of God that we should be situated as she
• 31:57
  was. We longed for a home like hers. There we always found sweet
• 32:02
  balsam for our troubles. She was so loving, so sympathizing. She always
• 32:08
  met us with a smile and listened with patience to all our sorrows. She
• 32:13
  spoke so hopefully that unconsciously the clouds gave place to sunshine. There was a
• 32:19
  grand, big oven there too, that baked bread and nice things for the
• 32:22
  town, and we knew there was always a choice bit in store for us.
• 32:25
  But alas even the charms of the old oven failed to reconcile us to
• 32:30
  our hard lot. Benjamin was now a tall, handsome lad, strongly and
• 32:36
  gracefully made, and with a spirit too bold and daring for a slave.
• 32:39
  My brother William, now twelve years old, had the same aversion to the
• 32:44
  word master that he had when he was an urchin of seven years. I
• 32:47
  was his confidant. He came to me with all his troubles. I remember
• 32:52
  one instance in particular. It was on a lovely spring morning, and when
• 32:57
  I marked the sunlight dancing here and there, its beauty seemed to mock my
• 33:00
  sadness. For my master, whose restless, craving, vicious nature roved about
• 33:07
  day and night seeking whom to devour, had just left me with stinging,
• 33:12
  scorching words, words that scathed ear and brain like fire. Oh how I
• 33:17
  despised him. I thought, how glad I should be if some day,
• 33:21
  when he walked the earth, it would open and swallow him up and disencumber
• 33:24
  the world of a plague. When he told me that I was made for
• 33:30
  his use, made to obey his command in everything, that I was nothing
• 33:34
  but a slave whose will must and should surrender to his. Never before had
• 33:37
  my puny arm felt half so strong. So deeply was I absorbed in painful
• 33:44
  reflections afterwards, that I neither saw nor heard the entrance of any one,
• 33:47
  till the voice of William sounded close beside me. Linda said he what makes
• 33:52
  you look so sad? I love you, oh, Linda. Isn't this
• 33:58
  a bad world? Everybody? But he seemed so cross and unhappy? I
• 34:01
  wish I had died when poor father did. I told him that everybody was
• 34:07
  not cross or unhappy, that those who had pleasant homes and kind friends,
• 34:12
  and who were not afraid to love them, were happy. But we who
• 34:15
  were slave children without father or mother could not expect to be happy. We
• 34:21
  must be good. Perhaps that would bring us contentment. Yes, he said,
• 34:27
  I try to be good, but what's the use? They are all
• 34:30
  the time troubling me. Then he proceeded to relate his afternoon's difficulty with young
• 34:35
  Master Nicholas. It seemed that the brother of Master Nicholas had pleased himself with
• 34:39
  making up stories about William. Master Nicholas said he should be flogged, and
• 34:44
  he would do it, whereupon he went to work. But William fought bravely,
• 34:49
  and the young master, finding he was getting the better of him,
• 34:52
  undertook to tie his hands behind him. He failed in that. Likewise,
• 34:57
  by dint of kicking and fisting, William came out of the skir mission none
• 35:00
  the worse for a few scratches. He continued to discourse on his young master's
• 35:05
  meanness, how he whipped the little boys, but was a perfect coward when
• 35:08
  a tussle ensued between him and white boys of his own size. On such
• 35:13
  occasions he always took to his legs. William had other charges to make against
• 35:16
  him. One was his rubbing up pennies with quicksilver and passing them off for
• 35:21
  quarters of a dollar on an old man who kept a fruit stall. William
• 35:24
  was often sent to buy fruit, and he earnestly inquired of me what he
• 35:28
  ought to do under such circumstances. I told him it was certainly wrong to
• 35:31
  deceive the old man, and that it was his duty to tell him of
• 35:35
  the impositions practiced by his young master. I assured him the old man would
• 35:38
  not be slow to comprehend the whole, and there the matter would end.
• 35:43
  William thought it might with the old man, but not with him. He
• 35:45
  said he did not mind the smart of the whip, but he did not
• 35:49
  like the idea of being whipped. While I advised him to be good and
• 35:53
  forgiving, I was not unconscious of the beam in my own eye. It
• 35:57
  was the very knowledge of my own shortcomings that urged me to retain, if
• 36:00
  possible, some sparks of my brother's God given nature. I had not lived
• 36:06
  fourteen years in slavery for nothing. I had felt seen and heard enough to
• 36:10
  read the characters and question the motives of those around me. The war of
• 36:15
  my life had begun, and though one of God's most powerless creatures, I
• 36:20
  resolved never to be conquered. Alas for me, if there was one pure
• 36:25
  sunny spot for me, I believed it to be in Benjamin's heart and in
• 36:30
  another's, whom I loved with all the ardor of a girl's first love.
• 36:34
  My owner knew of it, and sought in every way to render me miserable.
• 36:37
  He did not resort to corporal punishment, but to all the petty,
• 36:40
  tyrannical ways that human ingenuity could devise. I remember the first time I was
• 36:45
  punished. It was in the month of February. My grandmother had taken my
• 36:50
  old shoes and replaced them with a new pair. I needed them for several
• 36:54
  inches of snow had fallen, and it still continued to fall. When I
• 36:59
  walked through Miss Flint's room, there creaking grated harshly on her refined nerves.
• 37:04
  She called me to her and asked what I had about me that made such
• 37:07
  a horrid noise. I told her it was my new shoes. Take them
• 37:10
  off, said she, and if you put them on again, I'll throw
• 37:15
  them into the fire. I took them off, and my stockings also.
• 37:20
  She then sent me a long distance on an errand as I went through the
• 37:23
  snow, my bare feet tingled. That night, I was very hoarse and
• 37:28
  went to bed, thinking the next day would find me sick, perhaps dead.
• 37:32
  What was my grief on waking to find myself quite well? I had
• 37:37
  imagined if I died or was laid up for some time, that my mistress
• 37:39
  would feel a twinge of remorse that she had so hated the little imp as
• 37:44
  she styled me. It was my ignorance of that mistress that gave rise to
• 37:47
  such extravagant imaginings. Doctor Flint occasionally had high prices offered for me, but
• 37:53
  he always said, she don't belong to me. She is my daughter's property,
• 37:58
  and I have no right to sell her. Good, honest man,
• 38:01
  My young mistress was still a child, and I could look for no protection
• 38:06
  from her. I loved her, and she returned my affection. I once
• 38:09
  heard her father allude to her attachment to me, and his wife promptly replied
• 38:15
  that it proceeded from fear. This put unpleasant doubts into my mind. Did
• 38:20
  the child feign what she did not feel? Or was her mother jealous of
• 38:22
  the might of love she bestowed on me. I concluded that it must be
• 38:27
  the latter, I said to myself, Surely, little children are true.
• 38:32
  One afternoon, I sat at my sewing, feeling unusual depression of spirits.
• 38:37
  My mistress had been accusing me of an offense, of which I assured her
• 38:40
  I was perfectly innocent. But I saw by the contemptuous curl of her lip
• 38:45
  that she believed I was telling a lie. I wondered for what wise purpose
• 38:49
  God was leading me through such thorny paths, and whether still darker days were
• 38:53
  in store for me. As I sat musing thus, the door opened softly,
• 38:59
  and William came in. Well, brother, said I, what is
• 39:02
  the matter this time? O? Linda Ben and his master have had a
• 39:07
  dreadful time, said he. My first thought was that Benjamin was killed.
• 39:12
  Don't be frightened, Linda, said William, I will tell you all about
• 39:15
  it. It appeared that Benjamin's master had sent for him, and he did
• 39:20
  not immediately obey the summons. When he did, his master was angry and
• 39:23
  began to whip him. He resisted. Master and slave fought, and finally
• 39:29
  the master was thrown. Benjamin had cause to tremble, for he had thrown
• 39:32
  to the ground his master, one of the richest men in town. I
• 39:37
  anxiously awaited the result. That night, I stole to my grandmother's house,
• 39:40
  and Benjamin also stole thither from his master's. My grandmother had gone to spend
• 39:45
  a day or two with an old friend living in the country. I have
• 39:49
  come, said Benjamin, to tell you good bye. I am going away.
• 39:53
  I inquired where, to the north, he replied. I looked at
• 39:59
  him to see whether he was in earnest. I saw it all in his
• 40:01
  firm set mouth. I implored him not to go, but he paid no
• 40:07
  heed to my words. He said he was no longer a boy, and
• 40:09
  every day made his yoke more galling. He had raised his hand against his
• 40:14
  master and was to be publicly whipped for the offense. I reminded him of
• 40:17
  the poverty and hardships he must encounter among strangers. I told him he might
• 40:22
  be caught and brought back, and that was terrible to think of. He
• 40:27
  grew vexed and asked if poverty and hardships with freedom were not preferable to our
• 40:30
  treatment and slavery. Linda, He continued, we are dogs here, footballs,
• 40:37
  cattle, everything that's mean. No, I will not stay. Let
• 40:42
  them bring me back. We don't die. But once he was right,
• 40:46
  but it was hard to give him up. Go, said I, and
• 40:51
  break your mother's heart. I repented of my words. Ere they were out,
• 40:57
  Linda, said he speaking as I had not heard him speak that evening.
• 41:00
  How could you say that poor mother be kind to her, Linda,
• 41:05
  and you too, Cousin Fanny. Cousin Fanny was a friend who had lived
• 41:09
  some years with us. Farewells were exchanged, and the bright, kind boy
• 41:15
  endeared to us by so many acts of love, vanished from our sight.
• 41:20
  It is not necessary to state how he made his escape, Suffice it to
• 41:23
  say he was on his way to New York when a violent storm overtook the
• 41:28
  vessel. The captain said he must put into the nearest port. This alarmed
• 41:31
  Benjamin, who was aware that he be advertised in every port near his own
• 41:35
  town. His embarrassment was noticed by the captain to port they went there.
• 41:40
  The advertisement met the captain's eye. Benjamin so exactly answered its description that the
• 41:45
  captain laid hold on him and bound him in chains. The storm passed and
• 41:51
  they proceeded to New York. Before reaching that port, Benjamin managed to get
• 41:54
  office chains and throw them overboard. He escaped from the vessel, but he
• 41:59
  was pursued, captured, and carried back to his master. When my grandmother
• 42:04
  returned home and found her youngest child had fled crate was her sorrow, but
• 42:08
  with characteristic piety, she said God's will be done. Each morning she inquired
• 42:15
  if any news had been heard from her boy. Yes, news was heard.
• 42:20
  The master was rejoicing over a letter announcing the capture of his human chattel.
• 42:25
  That day seems but as yesterday, so well do I remember it.
• 42:30
  I saw him led through the streets and chains to jail. His face was
• 42:35
  ghastly, pale, yet full of determination. He had begged one of the
• 42:38
  sailors to go to his mother's house and ask her not to meet him.
• 42:42
  He said the sight of her distress would take from him all self control.
• 42:45
  She yearned to see him, and she went, but she screened herself in
• 42:50
  the crowd that it might be as her child had said. We were not
• 42:53
  allowed to visit him. But we had known the jailer for years, and
• 42:57
  he was a kind hearted man. At midnight, he opened the jail door
• 43:00
  for my grandmother and myself to enter in disguise. When we entered the cell,
• 43:05
  not a sound broke the stillness. Benjamin. Benjamin whispered, my grandmother.
• 43:12
  No answer, Benjamin, She again faltered. There was a jingle of
• 43:16
  chains. The moon had just risen and cast an uncertain light through the bars
• 43:22
  of the window. We knelt down and took Benjamin's cold hands. In hours,
• 43:25
  we did not speak. Sobs were heard, and Benjamin's lips were unsealed,
• 43:30
  for his mother was weeping on his neck. How vividly does memory bring
• 43:36
  back that sad night. Mother and son talked together. He asked her pardon
• 43:42
  for the suffering he had caused her. She said she had nothing to forgive.
• 43:45
  She could not blame his desire for freedom. He told her that when
• 43:49
  he was captured, he broke away and was about casting himself into the river
• 43:53
  when thoughts of her came over him and he desisted. She asked if he
• 43:58
  did not also think of God. I fancied I saw his face grow fierce
• 44:01
  in the moonlight. He answered, no, I did not think of him.
• 44:07
  When a man is hunted like a wild beast, he forgets there is
• 44:09
  a God, a heaven. He forgets everything in his struggle to get beyond
• 44:14
  the reach of the bloodhounds. Don't talk, so Benjamin said, she put
• 44:19
  your trust in God. Be humble, my child, and your Master will
• 44:22
  forgive you. Forgive me for what mother, for not letting him treat me
• 44:28
  like a dog. No, I will never humble myself to him. I
• 44:31
  have worked for him for nothing all my life, and I am repaid with
• 44:35
  stripes and imprisonment. Here. I will stay till I die, or till
• 44:38
  he sells me. The poor mother shuddered at his words. I think he
• 44:44
  felt it, for when he next spoke, his voice was calmer. Don't
• 44:47
  fret about me, mother, I ain't worth it, said he. I
• 44:52
  wish I had some of your goodness. You bear everything patiently, just as
• 44:55
  though you thought it was all right. I wish I could. She told
• 45:00
  him she had not always been so. Once she was like him, But
• 45:05
  when sore troubles came upon her and she had no arm to lean upon,
• 45:08
  she learned to call on God, and he lightened her burdens. She besought
• 45:13
  him to do Likewise, we overstayed our time and were obliged to hurry from
• 45:17
  the jail. Benjamin had been in prison three weeks when my grandmother went to
• 45:22
  intercede for him with his master. He was immovable. He said Benjamin should
• 45:27
  serve as an example to the rest of his slaves. He should be kept
• 45:30
  in jail till he was subdued, or be sold if he got but one
• 45:32
  dollar for him. However, he afterwards relented in some degree. The chains
• 45:37
  were taken off, and we were allowed to visit him. As his food
• 45:42
  was of the coarsest kind, we carried him as often as possible, a
• 45:45
  warm supper, accompanied with some little luxury for the jailer. Three months elapsed,
• 45:50
  and there was no prospect of release or of a purchaser. One day
• 45:53
  he was heard to sing and laugh. This piece of in decorum was told
• 45:58
  to his master, and the overseer was ordered to re chain him. He
• 46:01
  was now confined in an apartment with other prisoners who were covered with filthy rags.
• 46:07
  Benjamin was chained near them and was soon covered with vermin. He worked
• 46:10
  at his chains till he succeeded in getting out of them. He passed them
• 46:14
  through the bars of the window with a request that they should be taken to
• 46:17
  his master and he should be informed that he was covered with vermin. This
• 46:22
  audacity was punished with heavier chains and prohibition of our visits. My grandmother continued
• 46:28
  to send him fresh changes of clothes. The old ones were burned up.
• 46:31
  The last night we saw him in jail, his mother still begged him to
• 46:35
  send for his master and beg his pardon. Neither persuasion nor argument could turn
• 46:39
  him from his purpose. He calmly answered, I am waiting his time.
• 46:45
  Those chains were mournful to hear. Another three months passed and Benjamin left his
• 46:52
  prison walls. We that loved him waited to bid him a long and last
• 46:54
  farewell. A slave trader had bought him. You remember I to told you
• 47:00
  what price he brought when ten years of age. Now he was more than
• 47:02
  twenty years old and sold for three hundred dollars. The master had been blind
• 47:07
  to his own interest. Long confinement had made his face too pale, his
• 47:12
  form too thin. Moreover, the trader had heard something of his character,
• 47:15
  and it did not strike him as suitable for a slave. He said he
• 47:19
  would give any price if the handsome lad was a girl. We thanked God
• 47:22
  that he was not. Could you have seen that mother clinging to her child
• 47:28
  when they fastened the irons upon his wrists. Could you have heard her heart
• 47:31
  rending groans and seen her bloodshot eyes wander wildly from face to face, vainly
• 47:37
  pleading for mercy. Could you have witnessed that scene as I saw it,
• 47:42
  you would exclaim slavery is damnable. Benjamin, her youngest, her pet,
• 47:47
  was forever gone. She could not realize it. She had had an interview
• 47:52
  with the trader for the purpose of ascertaining if Benjamin could be purchased. She
• 47:55
  was told that it was impossible, as he had given bonds not to sell
• 47:59
  him till he was out of the state. He promised that he would not
• 48:01
  sell him till he reached New Orleans. With a strong arm and unvaried trust,
• 48:07
  my grandmother began her work of love. Benjamin must be free. If
• 48:10
  she succeeded, she knew they would still be separated, but the sacrifice was
• 48:15
  not too great. Day and night she labored the trader's price would treble that
• 48:20
  he gave, but she was not discouraged. She employed a lawyer to write
• 48:23
  to a gentleman whom she knew in New Orleans. She begged him to interest
• 48:27
  himself for Benjamin, and he willingly favored her request. When he saw Benjamin
• 48:31
  and stated his business, he thanked him, but said he preferred to wait
• 48:35
  a while before making the trader an offer. He knew he had tried to
• 48:38
  obtain a high price for him and had invariably failed. This encouraged him to
• 48:43
  make another effort for freedom. So one morning, long before day Benjamin was
• 48:47
  missing, he was riding over the blue Billows bound for Baltimore. For once,
• 48:53
  his white face did him a kindly service. They had no suspicion that
• 48:57
  it belonged to a slave, Otherwise the law would have been followed out to
• 49:00
  the letter and the thing rendered back to slavery. The brightest skies are often
• 49:06
  overshadowed by the darkest clouds. Benjamin was taken sick and compelled to remain in
• 49:10
  Baltimore three weeks. His strength was slow in returning, and his desire to
• 49:15
  continue his journey seemed to retard his recovery. How could he get strength without
• 49:19
  air and exercise? He resolved a venture on a short walk. A by
• 49:22
  street was selected, where he thought himself secure of not being met by any
• 49:27
  one that knew him. But a voice called out, halloo, Ben,
• 49:30
  my boy, what are you doing here? His first impulse was to run,
• 49:36
  but his legs trembled so that he could not stir. He turned to
• 49:38
  confront his antagonist, and behold, there stood his old master's next door neighbor.
• 49:45
  He thought it was all over with him now, but it proved otherwise.
• 49:47
  That man was a miracle. He possessed a goodly number of slaves,
• 49:52
  and yet was not quite deaf to that mystic clock whose ticking is rarely heard
• 49:55
  in the slaveholder's breast. Ben, you are sick, said he. Why
• 50:01
  you look like a ghost. I guess I gave you something of a start.
• 50:05
  Never mind, Ben, I am not going to touch you. You
• 50:07
  had a pretty tough time of it, and you may go on your way
• 50:09
  rejoicing for all me. But I would advise you to get out of this
• 50:14
  place plaguey quick, for there are several gentlemen here from our town. He
• 50:17
  described the nearest and safest route to New York, and added, I shall
• 50:21
  be glad to tell your mother I have seen you. Good bye. Then
• 50:24
  Benjamin turned away, filled with gratitude and surprised that the town he hated contained
• 50:30
  such a gem, a gem worthy of a purer setting. This gentleman was
• 50:34
  a Northerner by birth and had married a Southern lady. On his return,
• 50:37
  he told my grandmother that he had seen her son and of the service he
• 50:40
  had rendered him. Benjamin reached New York safely and concluded to stop there till
• 50:46
  he had gained strength enough to proceed further. It happened that my grandmother's only
• 50:51
  remaining son had sailed for the same city on business for his mistress. Through
• 50:54
  God's providence, the brothers met. You may be sure it was a happy
• 50:59
  meeting, Oh, Phil, exclaimed Benjamin, I am here at last.
• 51:04
  Then he told him how near he came to dying, almost in sight of
• 51:07
  free land, and how he prayed that he might live to get one breath
• 51:09
  of free air. He said, life was worth something now, and it
• 51:14
  would be hard to die in the old jail. He had not valued it
• 51:17
  once. He was tempted to destroy it, but something he did not know
• 51:22
  what had prevented him. Perhaps it was fear. He had heard those who
• 51:25
  professed to be religious declare there was no heaven for self murderers, and as
• 51:30
  his life had been pretty hot here, he did not desire a continuation of
• 51:34
  the same in another world. If I die now, he exclaimed, thank
• 51:37
  God, I shall die a free man. He begged my uncle Philip not
• 51:43
  to return south, but stay and work with him till they earned enough to
• 51:45
  buy those at home. His brother told him it would kill their mother if
• 51:49
  he deserted her in her trouble. She had pledged her house and with difficulty,
• 51:53
  had raised money to buy him. Would he be bought? No?
• 51:58
  Never, he replied, Do you suppose phil when I have got so far
• 52:00
  out of their clutches, I will give them one red cent? No?
• 52:06
  And do you suppose I would turn mother out of her home and her old
• 52:07
  age, that I would let her pay all those hard earned dollars for me
• 52:12
  and never to see me. For you know she will stay south as long
• 52:15
  as her other children are slaves. What a good mother tell her to buy
• 52:19
  you? Phil, You have been a comfort to her, and I have
• 52:22
  been a trouble. And Linda, poor Linda, what'll become of her?
• 52:27
  Phil? You don't know what a life they lead her. She has told
• 52:30
  me something about it, and I wish Old Flint was dead or a better
• 52:32
  man. When I was in jail, he asked her if she didn't want
• 52:36
  him to ask my master to forgive me and take me home again. She
• 52:39
  told him no, that I didn't want to go back. He got mad
• 52:43
  and said we were all alike. I never despised my own master half as
• 52:46
  much as I do that man. There is many a worse slaveholder than my
• 52:50
  master. But for all that, I would not be his slave. While
• 52:54
  Benjamin was sick, he had parted with nearly all his clothes to pay necessary
• 52:59
  expenses, but he did not part with a little pin I fastened in his
• 53:01
  bosom. When we parted, it was the most valuable thing I owned,
• 53:06
  and I thought none more worthy to wear it. He had it still,
• 53:09
  His brother furnished him with clothes and gave him what money he had. They
• 53:14
  parted with moistened eyes, and as Benjamin turned away, he said phil I
• 53:19
  part with all my kindred, and so it proved we never heard from him
• 53:23
  again. Uncle Philip came home, and the first words he uttered when he
• 53:29
  entered the house were, Mother, ben is free. I have seen him
• 53:31
  in New York. She stood, looking at him with a bewildered air.
• 53:36
  Mother, don't you believe it, he said, laying his hand softly upon
• 53:40
  her shoulder. She raised her hands and exclaimed, God be praised, Let
• 53:45
  us thank him. She dropped on her knees and poured forth her heart in
• 53:50
  prayer. Then Philip must sit down and repeat to her every word Benjamin had
• 53:53
  said. He told her all. Only he forbore to mention how sick and
• 53:58
  pale her darling looked. Why should you distress her when she could do him
• 54:00
  no good? The brave old woman still toiled on, hoping to rescue some
• 54:05
  of her other children. After a while, she succeeded in buying Philip.
• 54:08
  She paid eight hundred dollars and came home with the precious document that secured his
• 54:14
  freedom. The happy mother and son sat together by the old hearthstone that night,
• 54:17
  telling how proud they were of each other, and how they would prove
• 54:21
  to the world that they could take care of themselves as they had long taken
• 54:24
  care of others. We all concluded by saying, he that is willing to
• 54:29
  be a slave, let him be a slave. End of Chapter four,
• 54:35
  Chapter five, The Trials of Girlhood. During the first years of my service
• 54:40
  in Doctor Flint's family, I was accustomed to share some indulgences with the children
• 54:45
  of my mistress. Though this seemed to me no more than right, I
• 54:49
  was grateful for it, and tried to merit the kindness by the faithful discharge
• 54:53
  of my duties. But I now entered, on my fifteenth year, a
• 54:58
  sad epoch in the life of a slave girl. My master began to whisper
• 55:01
  foul words in my ear. Young as I was, I could not remain
• 55:06
  ignorant of their import I tried to treat them with indifference or contempt. My
• 55:10
  master's age, my extreme youth, and the fear that his conduct would be
• 55:15
  reported to my grandmother made him bear this treatment for many months. He was
• 55:20
  a crafty man and resorted to many means to accomplish his purposes. Sometimes he
• 55:24
  had stormy, terrific ways that made his victims tremble. Sometimes he assumed a
• 55:30
  gentleness that he thought must surely subdue. Of the two, I preferred his
• 55:35
  stormy moods, although they left me trembling. He tried his utmost to corrupt
• 55:38
  the pure principles my grandmother had instilled. He peopled my young mind with unclean
• 55:44
  images, such as only a vile monster could think of. I turned from
• 55:49
  him with disgust and hatred. But he was my master. I was compelled
• 55:53
  to live under the same roof with him, where I saw a man forty
• 55:57
  years my senior, daily violating the most sacred commandments of nature. He told
• 56:02
  me I was his property, that I must be subject to his will in
• 56:06
  all things. My soul revolted against the mean tyranny. But where could I
• 56:12
  turn for protection? No matter whether the slave girl be as black as ebony,
• 56:15
  or as fair as her mistress, In either case, there is no
• 56:20
  shadow of law to protect her from insult, from violence, or even from
• 56:23
  death. All these are inflicted by fiends who bear the shape of men.
• 56:29
  The mistress, who ought to protect the helpless victim, has no other feelings
• 56:32
  towards her but those of jealousy and rage. The degradation, the wrongs,
• 56:37
  the vices that grow out of slavery are more than I can describe. They
• 56:42
  are greater than you would willingly believe. Surely, if you credited one half
• 56:46
  the truths that are told you concerning the helpless millions suffering in this cruel bondage,
• 56:52
  you, at the north, would not help to tighten the yoke.
• 56:54
  You surely would refuse to do for the Master on your own soil, the
• 56:59
  mean and cruel work which trained bloodhounds and the lowest class of whites do for
• 57:04
  him at the south. Everywhere the years bring to all enough of sin and
• 57:07
  sorrow, But in slavery, the very dawn of life is darkened by these
• 57:13
  shadows. Even the little child, who is accustomed to wait on her mistress
• 57:16
  and on her children, will learn before she is twelve years old why it
• 57:22
  is that her mistress hates such and such a one among the slaves. Perhaps
• 57:25
  the child's own mother is among those hated ones. She listens to violent outbreaks
• 57:30
  of jealous passion, and cannot help understanding what is the cause. She will
• 57:35
  become prematurely knowing and evil things. Soon she will learn to tremble when she
• 57:39
  hears her master's footfall. She will be compelled to realize that she is no
• 57:44
  longer a child. If God has bestowed beauty upon her, it will prove
• 57:49
  her greatest curse. That which commands admiration in the white woman only hastens the
• 57:53
  degradation of the female slave. I know that some are too much brutalized by
• 57:59
  slavery to feel the humiliation of their position, But many slaves feel it most
• 58:02
  acutely, and shrink from the memory of it. I cannot tell how much
• 58:07
  I suffered in the presence of these wrongs, nor how I am still pained
• 58:12
  by the retrospect. My master met me at every turn, reminding me that
• 58:16
  I belonged to him, and swearing by heaven and Earth that he would compel
• 58:21
  me to submit to him. If I went out for a breath of fresh
• 58:23
  air after a day of unwearied toil, his footsteps dogged me. If I
• 58:30
  knelt by my mother's grave, his dark shadow fell on me. Even there,
• 58:34
  The light heart which nature had given me became heavy with sad forebodings.
• 58:38
  The other slaves in my master's house noticed the change. Many of them pitied
• 58:43
  me, but none dared to ask the cause. They had no need to
• 58:47
  inquire. They knew too well the guilty practices under that roof, and they
• 58:52
  were aware that to speak of them was an offense that never went unpunished.
• 58:58
  I longed for some one confide in. I would have given the world to
• 59:01
  have laid my head on my grandmother's faithful bosom and told her all my troubles,
• 59:07
  But doctor Flint swore he would kill me if I was not as silent
• 59:09
  as the grave. Then, although my grandmother was all in all to me,
• 59:15
  I feared her as well as loved her. I had been accustomed to
• 59:17
  look up to her with a respect bordering upon awe. I was very young
• 59:22
  and felt shamefaced about telling her such impure things, and especially as I knew
• 59:28
  her to be very strict on such subjects. Moreover, she was a woman
• 59:30
  of high spirit. She was usually very quiet in her demeanor, but if
• 59:36
  her indignation was once roused, it was not very easily quelled. I had
• 59:39
  been told that she once chased a white gentleman with a loaded pistol because he
• 59:44
  insulted one of her daughters. I dreaded the consequences of a violent outbreak,
• 59:49
  and both pride and fear kept me silent. But though I did not confide
• 59:53
  in my grandmother, and even evaded her vigilant watchfulness and inquiry. Her presence
• 59:59
  in the neighbor hood with some protection to me. Though she had been a
• 1:00:01
  slave, Doctor Flint was afraid of her. He dreaded her scorching rebukes.
• 1:00:07
  Moreover, she was known and patronized by many people, and he did not
• 1:00:10
  wish to have his villainy made public. It was lucky for me that I
• 1:00:15
  did not live on a distant plantation, but in a town not so large
• 1:00:19
  that the inhabitants were ignorant of each other's affairs. Bad as are the laws
• 1:00:22
  and customs in a slave holding community. The doctor, as a professional man,
• 1:00:28
  deemed it prudent to keep up some outward show of decency. Oh what
• 1:00:32
  days and nights of fear and sorrow that man caused me. Reader, It
• 1:00:38
  is not to awaken sympathy for myself that I am telling you truthfully what I
• 1:00:43
  suffered in slavery. I do it to kindle a flame of compassion in your
• 1:00:46
  hearts for my sisters who are still in bondage, suffering as I once suffered.
• 1:00:52
  I once saw two beautiful children playing together. One was a fair white
• 1:00:57
  child, the other was her slave, and also her sister. When I
• 1:01:01
  saw them embracing each other and heard their joyous laughter, I turned sadly away
• 1:01:07
  from the lovely sight. I foresaw the inevitable blight that would fall on the
• 1:01:12
  little slave's heart. I knew how soon her laughter would be changed to sighs.
• 1:01:16
  The fair child grew up to be a still fairer woman. From childhood
• 1:01:21
  to womanhood, her pathway was blooming with flowers and overarched by a sunny sky.
• 1:01:25
  Scarcely one day of her life had been clouded when the sun rose on
• 1:01:29
  her happy bridal morning. How had those years dealt with her slave's sister,
• 1:01:34
  the little playmate of her childhood? She also was very beautiful, but the
• 1:01:39
  flowers and sunshine of love were not for her. She drank the cup of
• 1:01:44
  sin and shame and misery, whereof her persecuted race are compelled to drink in
• 1:01:51
  view of these things? Why are ye silent, ye free men and women
• 1:01:55
  of the north. Why do your tongues falter and maintenance of the right?
• 1:02:00
  Would that I had more ability, But my heart is so full and my
• 1:02:06
  pen is so weak. There are noble men and women who plead for us,
• 1:02:09
  striving to help those who cannot help themselves. God bless them, God
• 1:02:15
  give them strength and courage to go on. God bless those everywhere who are
• 1:02:20
  laboring to advance the cause of humanity. End of Chapter five, Chapter six.
• 1:02:29
  The jealous mistress. I would ten thousand times rather that my children should
• 1:02:35
  be the half starved paupers of Ireland than to be the most pampered among the
• 1:02:38
  slaves of America. I would rather drudge out my life on a cotton plantation
• 1:02:44
  till the grave opened to give me rest than to live with an unprincipled master
• 1:02:47
  and a jealous mistress. The felon's home in a penitentiary is preferable. He
• 1:02:53
  may repent and turn from the air of his ways and so find peace.
• 1:02:58
  But it is not so with a favorite slave. She is not allowed to
• 1:03:01
  have any pride of character. It is deemed a crime in her to wish
• 1:03:06
  to be virtuous. Missus Flint possessed the key to her husband's character before I
• 1:03:12
  was born. She might have used this knowledge to counsel and screen the young
• 1:03:15
  and the innocent among her slaves, but for them she had no sympathy.
• 1:03:20
  They were the objects of her constant suspicion and malevolence. She watched her husband
• 1:03:24
  with unceasing vigilance. But he was well practiced in means to evade it.
• 1:03:30
  What he could not find opportunity to say, in words he manifested, in
• 1:03:34
  signs he invented more than were ever thought of in a deaf and dumb asylum.
• 1:03:38
  I let them pass as if I did not understand what he meant.
• 1:03:42
  And many were the curses and threats bestowed on me for my stupidity. One
• 1:03:46
  day he caught me teaching myself to write. He frowned as if he was
• 1:03:51
  not well pleased. But I suppose he came to the conclusion that such an
• 1:03:53
  accomplishment might help to advance his favorite scheme. Before long, notes were often
• 1:04:00
  slipped into my hand. I would return them, saying I can't read them,
• 1:04:04
  sir, can't you? He replied, Then I must read them to
• 1:04:09
  you. He always finished the reading by asking do you understand? Sometimes he
• 1:04:15
  would complain of the heat of the tea room and order his supper to be
• 1:04:18
  placed on a small table in the piazza. He would seat himself there with
• 1:04:23
  a well satisfied smile and tell me to stand by and brush away the flies.
• 1:04:28
  He would eat very slowly, pausing between the mouthfuls. These intervals were
• 1:04:32
  employed in describing the happiness that I was so foolishly throwing away, and in
• 1:04:36
  threatening me with the penalty that finally awaited my stubborn disobedience. He boasted much
• 1:04:42
  of the forbearance he had exercised towards me, and reminded me that there was
• 1:04:45
  a limit to his patience. When I succeeded in avoiding opportunities for him to
• 1:04:49
  talk to me at home, I was ordered to come to his office to
• 1:04:53
  do some errand when there I was obliged to stand and listen to such language
• 1:04:58
  as he saw fit to address to me. Sometimes I so openly expressed my
• 1:05:01
  contempt for him that he would become violently enraged, and I wondered why he
• 1:05:05
  did not strike me circumstance as he was, he probably thought it was better
• 1:05:11
  policy to be forbearing. But the state of things grew worse and worse daily.
• 1:05:15
  In desperation, I told him that I must and would apply to my
• 1:05:18
  grandmother for protection. He threatened me with death, and worse than death if
• 1:05:24
  I made any complaint to her. Strange to say I did not despair.
• 1:05:29
  I was naturally of a buoyant disposition, and always I had a hope of
• 1:05:32
  somehow getting out of his clutches. Like many a poor simple slave before me,
• 1:05:38
  I trusted that some threads of joy would yet be woven into my dark
• 1:05:42
  destiny. I had entered my sixteenth year, and every day it became more
• 1:05:46
  apparent that my presence was intolerable to missus flint. Angry words frequently passed between
• 1:05:53
  her and her husband. He had never punished me himself, and he would
• 1:05:56
  not allow anybody else to punish me in that respect. She would never satisfied,
• 1:06:00
  But in her angry moods, no terms were too vile for her to
• 1:06:03
  bestow upon me. Yet I, whom she detested so bitterly, had far
• 1:06:10
  more pity for her than he had, whose duty it was to make her
• 1:06:13
  life happy. I never wronged her or wished to wrong her, and one
• 1:06:17
  word of kindness from her would have brought me to her feet. After repeated
• 1:06:21
  quarrels between the doctor and his wife, he announced his intention to take his
• 1:06:26
  youngest daughter, then four years old, to sleep in his apartment. It
• 1:06:30
  was necessary that a servant should sleep in the same room to be on hand
• 1:06:33
  if the child stirred I was selected for that office and informed for what purpose
• 1:06:39
  that arrangement had been made. By managing to keep within sight of people as
• 1:06:43
  much as possible during the daytime, I had hitherto succeeded in eluding my master,
• 1:06:47
  though a razor was often held to my throat to force me to change
• 1:06:51
  this line of policy. At night, I slept by the side of my
• 1:06:55
  great aunt, where I felt safe. He was too prudent to come into
• 1:06:59
  her room. She was an old woman and had been in the family many
• 1:07:02
  years. Moreover, as a married man and a professional man, he deemed
• 1:07:06
  it necessary to save appearances in some degree. But he resolved to remove the
• 1:07:11
  obstacle in the way of his scheme, and he thought he had planned it
• 1:07:15
  so that he should evade suspicion. He was well aware how much I prized
• 1:07:18
  my refuge by the side of my old aunt, and he determined to dispossess
• 1:07:23
  me of it. The first night, the doctor had the little child in
• 1:07:26
  his room alone. The next morning I was ordered to take my station as
• 1:07:30
  nurse. The following night, a kind providence interposed in my favor. During
• 1:07:35
  the day, Missus Flint heard of this new arrangement, and a storm followed.
• 1:07:40
  I rejoiced to hear it. Rage. After a while, my mistress
• 1:07:44
  sent for me to come to her room. Her first question was, did
• 1:07:47
  you know you were to sleep in the doctor's room. Yes, ma'am,
• 1:07:51
  who told you my master? Will you answer truly all the questions I ask?
• 1:07:59
  Yes, ma'am. Tell me then, as you hoped to be forgiven,
• 1:08:02
  Are you innocent of what I have accused you? I am. She
• 1:08:08
  handed me a bible and said, lay your hand on your heart, kiss
• 1:08:12
  this holy book, and swear before God that you tell me the truth.
• 1:08:16
  I took the oaths she required, and I did it with a clear conscience.
• 1:08:20
  You have taken God's holy word to testify your innocence, said she.
• 1:08:25
  If you have deceived me, beware, now take this stool, sit down,
• 1:08:30
  look me directly in the face, and tell me all that has passed
• 1:08:32
  between your master and you. I did as she ordered. As I went
• 1:08:38
  on with my account, her color changed frequently, she wept and sometimes groaned.
• 1:08:44
  She spoke in tones so sad that I was touched by her grief.
• 1:08:46
  The tears came to my eyes, But I was soon convinced that her emotions
• 1:08:50
  arose from anger and wounded pride. She felt that her marriage vows were desecrated,
• 1:08:56
  her dignity insulted, but she had no compassion for the poor victim of
• 1:09:00
  her husband's perfidy. She pitied herself as a martyr, but she was incapable
• 1:09:04
  of feeling for the condition of shame and misery in which her unfortunate, helpless
• 1:09:09
  slave was placed. Yet perhaps she had some touch of feeling for me,
• 1:09:14
  for when the conference was ended, she spoke kindly and promised to protect me.
• 1:09:18
  I should have been much comforted by this assurance, if I could have
• 1:09:20
  had confidence in it, but my experiences in slavery had filled me with distrust.
• 1:09:27
  She was not a very refined woman and had not much control over her
• 1:09:30
  passions. I was an object of her jealousy and consequently of her hatred,
• 1:09:35
  and I knew I could not expect kindness or confidence from her under the circumstances
• 1:09:40
  in which I was placed. I could not blame her slaveholder's wives feel as
• 1:09:45
  other women would under similar circumstances. The fire of her temper kindled from small
• 1:09:49
  sparks, and now the flame became so intense that the doctor was obliged to
• 1:09:55
  give up his intended arrangement. I knew I had ignited the torch, and
• 1:10:00
  I expected to suffer for it afterwards, but I felt too thankful to my
• 1:10:03
  mistress for the timely aid she rendered me to care much about that. She
• 1:10:08
  now took me to sleep in a room adjoining her own. There I was
• 1:10:12
  an object of her especial care, though not to her especial comfort, for
• 1:10:15
  she spent many a sleepless night to watch over me. Sometimes I woke up
• 1:10:19
  and found her bending over me. At other times she whispered in my ear
• 1:10:24
  as though it was her husband who was speaking to me, and listened to
• 1:10:27
  hear what I would answer. If she startled me. On such occasions,
• 1:10:30
  she would glide stealthily away, and the next morning she would tell me I
• 1:10:33
  had been talking in my sleep and ask who I was talking to. At
• 1:10:38
  last, I began to be fearful for my life. It had been often
• 1:10:42
  threatened, and you can imagine better than I can describe what an unpleasant sensation
• 1:10:46
  it must produce to wake up in the dead of night and find a jealous
• 1:10:49
  woman bending over you. Terrible as this experience was, I had fears that
• 1:10:54
  it would give place to one more terrible. My mistress grew weary of her
• 1:10:59
  vigils. They did not prove satisfactory. She changed her tactics. She now
• 1:11:03
  tried the trick of accusing my master of crime in my presence, and gave
• 1:11:08
  my name as the author of the accusation. To my utter astonishment, he
• 1:11:12
  replied, I don't believe it, But if she did acknowledge it, you
• 1:11:15
  tortured her into exposing me, tortured into exposing him. Truly, Satan had
• 1:11:21
  no difficulty in distinguishing the color of his soul. I understood his object in
• 1:11:27
  making this false representation. It was to show me that I gained nothing by
• 1:11:30
  seeking the protection of my mistress, that the power was still all in his
• 1:11:33
  own hands. I pitied missus Flint. She was a second wife, many
• 1:11:39
  years the junior of her husband, and the hoary headed miscreant was enough to
• 1:11:43
  try the patience of a wiser and better woman. She was completely foiled and
• 1:11:46
  knew not how to proceed. She would gladly have had me flogged from my
• 1:11:50
  supposed false oath. But as I have already stated, the doctor never allowed
• 1:11:56
  any one to whip me. The old sinner was politic. The apple location
• 1:12:00
  of the lash might have led to remarks that would have exposed him in the
• 1:12:02
  eyes of his children and grandchildren. How often did I rejoice that I lived
• 1:12:06
  in a town where all the inhabitants knew each other. If I had been
• 1:12:11
  on a remote plantation, or lost among the multitude of a crowded city,
• 1:12:15
  I should not be a living woman At this day. The secrets of slavery
• 1:12:19
  are concealed like those of the Inquisition. My master was, to my knowledge,
• 1:12:24
  the father of eleven slaves. But did the mothers dare to tell who
• 1:12:28
  was the father of their children? Did the other slaves dare to allude to
• 1:12:31
  it except in whispers among themselves? No, Indeed, they knew too well
• 1:12:36
  the terrible consequences. My grandmother could not avoid seeing things which excited her suspicions.
• 1:12:43
  She was uneasy about me, and tried various ways to buy me,
• 1:12:46
  But the never changing answer was always repeated, Linda does not belong to me.
• 1:12:51
  She is my daughter's property, and I have no legal right to sell
• 1:12:56
  her. The conscientious man he was too scruplus to sell me, but he
• 1:13:00
  had no scruples whatever about committing a much greater wrong against the helpless young girl
• 1:13:05
  placed under his guardianship as his daughter's property. Sometimes my persecutor would ask me
• 1:13:11
  whether I would like to be sold. I told him I would rather be
• 1:13:14
  sold to anybody than to lead such a life as I did. On such
• 1:13:17
  occasions, he would assume the air of a very injured individual and reproach me
• 1:13:21
  for my ingratitude. Did I not take you into the house and make you
• 1:13:26
  the companion of my own children? He would say? Have I ever treated
• 1:13:30
  you like a negro? I have never allowed you to be punished, not
• 1:13:32
  even to please your mistress, And this is the recompense I get you,
• 1:13:36
  ungrateful girl, I answered that he had reasons of his own for screening me
• 1:13:42
  from punishment, and that the course he pursued made my mistress hate me and
• 1:13:45
  persecute me. If I wept, he would say, poor child, don't
• 1:13:49
  cry, don't cry. I will make peace for you with your mistress.
• 1:13:54
  Only let me arrange matters in my own way. Poor foolish girl, you
• 1:13:59
  don't know what is for your own good. I would cherish you. I
• 1:14:02
  would make a lady of you. Now go and think of all I have
• 1:14:05
  promised you. I did think of it. Reader, I draw no imaginary
• 1:14:12
  pictures of Southern homes, I am telling you the plain truth. Yet when
• 1:14:16
  victims make their escape from the wild beast of slavery, northerners consent to act
• 1:14:21
  the part of bloodhounds and hunt the poor fugitive back into his den full of
• 1:14:27
  dead men's bones and all uncleanness. Nay more, they are not only willing,
• 1:14:31
  but proud to give their daughters in marriage to slaveholders. The poor girls
• 1:14:36
  have romantic notions of a sunny clime and of the flowering vines that all the
• 1:14:41
  year round shade a happy home. To what disappointments are they destined? The
• 1:14:45
  young wife soon learns that the husband in whose hand she has placed her happiness
• 1:14:49
  pays no regard to his marriage vows. Children of every shade of complexion play
• 1:14:54
  with her own fair babies, and too well she knows that they are born
• 1:14:58
  unto him of his own household. Jealousy and hatred enter the flowery home,
• 1:15:01
  and it is ravage of its loveliness. Southern women often marry a man knowing
• 1:15:06
  that he is the father of many little slaves. They do not trouble themselves
• 1:15:11
  about it. They regard such children as property, as marketable as the pigs
• 1:15:15
  on the plantation, and it is seldom that they do not make them aware
• 1:15:18
  of this, by passing them into the slave trader's hands as soon as possible,
• 1:15:21
  and thus getting them out of their sight. I am glad to say
• 1:15:26
  that there are some honorable exceptions. I have myself known two Southern wives who
• 1:15:30
  exhorted their husbands to free those slaves towards whom they stood in a parental relation,
• 1:15:36
  and their request was granted. These husbands blushed before the superior nobleness of
• 1:15:42
  their wives natures, though they had only counseled them to do that which was
• 1:15:45
  their duty to do. It commanded their respect and rendered their conduct more exemplary.
• 1:15:50
  Concealment was at an end, and confidence took the place of distrust.
• 1:15:57
  Though this bad institution deadens the moral sense even in white women to a fearful
• 1:16:00
  extent, it is not altogether extinct. I have heard Southern ladies say of
• 1:16:05
  mister such a one. He not only thinks it no disgrace to be the
• 1:16:10
  father of those little niggers, but he is not ashamed to call himself their
• 1:16:13
  master. I declare such things ought not to be tolerated in any decent society.
• 1:16:21
  End of Chapter six, Chapter seven the lover. Why does the slave
• 1:16:30
  ever love? Why allow the tendrils of the heart to twine around objects which
• 1:16:34
  may at any moment be wrenched away by the hand of violence. When separations
• 1:16:39
  come by the hand of death, the pious soul can bow in resignation and
• 1:16:44
  say, not my will, but thine be done, O Lord. But
• 1:16:47
  when the ruthless hand of man strikes the blow, regardless of the misery he
• 1:16:51
  causes, it is hard to be submissive. I did not reason thus when
• 1:16:57
  I was a young girl. Youth will be youth. I loved, and
• 1:17:00
  I indulged the hope that the dark clouds around me would turn out a bright
• 1:17:04
  lining. I forgot that in the land of my birth the shadows are too
• 1:17:08
  dense for light to penetrate. A land where laughter is not mirth, nor
• 1:17:14
  thought the mind, nor words, a language, nor e in men mankind,
• 1:17:18
  where cries reply to curses, shrieks to blows, and each is tortured
• 1:17:25
  in his separate hell. There was in the neighborhood a young colored carpenter,
• 1:17:30
  a free born man. We had been well acquainted in childhood, and frequently
• 1:17:34
  met together. Afterwards. We became mutually attached, and he proposed to marry
• 1:17:39
  me. I loved him with all the ardor of a young girl's first love.
• 1:17:45
  But when I reflected that I was a slave, and that the laws
• 1:17:47
  gave no sanction to the marriage of such, my heart sank within me.
• 1:17:51
  My lover wanted to buy me, but I knew that Doctor Flint was too
• 1:17:56
  wilful and arbitrary a man to consent to that arrangement. From I was sure
• 1:18:00
  of experiencing all sort of opposition, and I had nothing to hope from my
• 1:18:04
  mistress. She would have been delighted to have got rid of me, but
• 1:18:08
  not in that way. It would have relieved her mind of a burden if
• 1:18:12
  she could have seen me sold to some distant state. But if I was
• 1:18:15
  married near home, I should be just as much in her husband's power as
• 1:18:18
  I had previously been, for the husband of a slave has no power to
• 1:18:21
  protect her. Moreover, my mistress, like many others, seemed to think
• 1:18:27
  that slaves had no right to any family ties of their own, that they
• 1:18:30
  were created merely to wait upon the family of the mistress. I once heard
• 1:18:34
  her abuse a young slave girl who told her that a colored man wanted to
• 1:18:39
  make her his wife. I will have you peeled and pickled? My lady
• 1:18:44
  said she, If I ever hear you mention that subject again, do you
• 1:18:47
  suppose that I will have you tending my children with the children of that nigger.
• 1:18:53
  The girl to whom she said this had a Mulatto child, of course,
• 1:18:57
  not acknowledged by its father. The poor the black man who loved her
• 1:19:00
  would have been proud to acknowledge his helpless offspring. Many and anxious were the
• 1:19:05
  thoughts I revolved in my mind. I was at a loss what to do.
• 1:19:10
  Above all things, I was desirous to spare my lover the insults that
• 1:19:14
  had cut so deeply into my own soul. I talked with my grandmother about
• 1:19:17
  it, and partly told her my fears. I did not dare to tell
• 1:19:21
  her the worst. She had long suspected all was not right, and if
• 1:19:26
  I confirmed her suspicions, I knew a storm would rise that would prove the
• 1:19:29
  overthrow of all my hopes. This love dream had been my support through many
• 1:19:33
  trials, and I could not bear to run the risk of having it suddenly
• 1:19:38
  dissipated. There was a lady in the neighborhood, a particular friend of doctor
• 1:19:42
  Flint's, who often visited the house. I had a great respect for her,
• 1:19:45
  and she had always manifested a friendly interest in me. Grandmother thought she
• 1:19:50
  would have a great influence with the doctor. I went to this lady and
• 1:19:54
  told her my story. I told her I was aware that my lovers,
• 1:19:57
  being a free born man, would prove a great objection, But he wanted
• 1:20:00
  to buy me, and if Doctor Flint would consent to that arrangement, I
• 1:20:03
  felt sure he would be willing to pay any reasonable price. She knew that
• 1:20:08
  missus Flint disliked me. Therefore, I ventured to suggest that perhaps my mistress
• 1:20:12
  would approve of my being sold, as that would rid her of me.
• 1:20:15
  The lady listened with kindly sympathy and promised to do her utmost to promote my
• 1:20:20
  wishes. She had an interview with the doctor, and I believe she pleaded
• 1:20:25
  my cause earnestly, But it was all to no purpose. How I dreaded
• 1:20:30
  my master. Now every minute I expected to be summoned to his presence,
• 1:20:34
  But the day passed and I heard nothing from him. The next morning a
• 1:20:39
  message was brought to me. Master wants you in his study. I found
• 1:20:44
  the door ajar and I stood a moment, gazing at the hateful man who
• 1:20:46
  claimed a right to rule me body and soul. I entered and tried to
• 1:20:51
  appear calm. I did not want him to know how much my heart was
• 1:20:55
  bleeding. He looked fixedly at me with an expression which seemed to say,
• 1:21:00
  I have half a mind to kill you on the spot. At last,
• 1:21:04
  he broke the silence, and that was a relief to both of us.
• 1:21:09
  So you ought to be married, do you? Said he, and to
• 1:21:12
  a free nigger, Yes, sir, Well I'll soon convince you whether I
• 1:21:17
  am your master or the nigger fellow you honor so highly. If you must
• 1:21:23
  have a husband, you may take up with one of my slaves. What
• 1:21:27
  a situation I should be in as the wife of one of his slaves,
• 1:21:30
  even if my heart had been interested, I replied. Don't you suppose,
• 1:21:35
  sir, that a slave can have some preference about marrying? Do you suppose
• 1:21:40
  that all men are alike to her? Do you love this nigger? Said
• 1:21:45
  he abruptly, Yes, sir, how dare you tell me so? He
• 1:21:49
  exclaimed in great wrath. After a slight pause, he added, I supposed
• 1:21:55
  you thought more of yourself that you felt above the insults of such puppy,
• 1:22:00
  I replied, if he is a puppy, I am a puppy. For
• 1:22:04
  we are both of the Negro race. It is right and honorable for us
• 1:22:08
  to love each other. The man you call a puppy never insulted me,
• 1:22:12
  sir, and he would not love me if he did not believe me to
• 1:22:15
  be a virtuous woman. He sprang upon me like a tiger and gave me
• 1:22:19
  a stunning blow. It was the first time he had ever struck me,
• 1:22:24
  and fear did not enable me to control my anger. When I had recovered
• 1:22:28
  a little from the effects, I exclaimed, you have struck me for answering
• 1:22:31
  you honestly, how I despise you. There was silence for some minutes.
• 1:22:40
  Perhaps he was deciding what should be my punishment, or perhaps he wanted to
• 1:22:44
  give me time to reflect on what I had said and to whom I had
• 1:22:46
  said it. Finally, he asked, do you know what you have said?
• 1:22:53
  Yes, sir, but your treatment drove me to it. Do you
• 1:22:57
  know that I have a right to do as I like you, that I
• 1:23:00
  can kill you if I please. You have tried to kill me, and
• 1:23:04
  I wish you had, but you have no right to do as you like
• 1:23:09
  with me silence, he exclaimed in a thundering voice. By heavens, girl,
• 1:23:15
  you forget yourself too far? Are you mad? If you are,
• 1:23:18
  I will soon bring you to your senses. Do you think any other master
• 1:23:21
  would bear what I have borne from you this morning? Many masters would have
• 1:23:26
  killed you on the spot. How would you like to be sent to jail
• 1:23:29
  for your insolence? I know I have been disrespectful, sir, I replied,
• 1:23:34
  but you drove me to it. I couldn't help it. As for
• 1:23:38
  the jail, there would be more peace for me there than there is here.
• 1:23:42
  You deserve to go there, said he had to be under such treatment
• 1:23:46
  that you would forget the meaning of the word peace. It would do you
• 1:23:49
  good. It would take some of your high notions out of you. But
• 1:23:55
  I am not ready to send you there yet. Notwithstanding your ingratitude for all
• 1:23:59
  my kindness and forbearance, you have been the plague of my life. I
• 1:24:03
  have wanted to make you happy, and I have been repaid with the basest
• 1:24:06
  ingratitude. But though you have proved yourself incapable of appreciating my kindness, I
• 1:24:13
  will be lenient towards Elinda I will give you one more chance to redeem your
• 1:24:16
  character. If you behave yourself and do as I require, I will forgive
• 1:24:21
  you and treat you as I have always done. But if you disobey me,
• 1:24:26
  I will punish you as I would the meanest slave on my plantation.
• 1:24:30
  Never let me hear that fellow's name mentioned again. If I ever know of
• 1:24:33
  your speaking to him, I will cowhide you both. And if I catch
• 1:24:38
  him lurking about my premises, I will shoot him as soon as I would
• 1:24:42
  a dog. Do you hear what I say? I'll teach you a lesson
• 1:24:45
  about marriage and free niggers. Now go and let this be the last time
• 1:24:49
  I have occasion to speak to you on this subject. Reader, Did you
• 1:24:56
  ever hate? I hope not. I I never did but once, and
• 1:25:00
  I trust I never shall again. Somebody has called it the atmosphere of hell,
• 1:25:06
  and I believe it is so. For a fortnight the doctor did not
• 1:25:12
  speak to me. He thought to mortify me, to make me feel that
• 1:25:15
  I had disgraced myself by receiving the honorable addresses of a respectable colored man in
• 1:25:19
  preference to the base proposals of a white man. But though his lips disdained
• 1:25:24
  to address me. His eyes were very loquacious. No animal ever watched its
• 1:25:30
  prey more narrowly than he watched me. He knew that I could write,
• 1:25:33
  though he had failed to make me read his letters, and he was now
• 1:25:36
  troubled lest I should exchange letters with another man. After a while, he
• 1:25:41
  became weary of silence, and I was sorry for it. One morning,
• 1:25:45
  as he passed through the hall to leave the house, he contrived to thrust
• 1:25:47
  a note into my hand. I thought I had better read it and spare
• 1:25:51
  myself the vexation of having him read it to me. It expressed regret for
• 1:25:56
  the blow he had given me, and reminded me that I myself was wholly
• 1:26:00
  to blame for it. He hoped I had become convinced of the injury I
• 1:26:03
  was doing myself by incurring his displeasure. He wrote that he had made up
• 1:26:08
  his mind to go to Louisiana, that he should take several slaves with him,
• 1:26:12
  and intended I should be one of the number. My mistress would remain
• 1:26:15
  where she was. Therefore, I should have nothing to fear from that quarter
• 1:26:18
  if I merited kindness from him. He assured me that it would be lavishly
• 1:26:23
  bestowed. He begged me to think over the matter and answer the following day.
• 1:26:28
  The next morning, I was called to carry a pair of scissors to
• 1:26:30
  his room. I laid them on the table with the letter beside them.
• 1:26:34
  He thought that it was my answer and did not call me back. I
• 1:26:39
  went, as usual to attend my young mistress to and from school. He
• 1:26:42
  met me in the street and ordered me to stop at his office on my
• 1:26:45
  way back. When I entered, he showed me his letter and asked me
• 1:26:48
  why I had not answered it. I replied, I am your daughter's property,
• 1:26:54
  and it is in your power to send me or take me wherever you
• 1:26:58
  please. He said he would very glad to find me so willing to go,
• 1:27:01
  and that we should start early in the autumn. He had a large
• 1:27:04
  practice in the town, and I rather thought he had made up the story
• 1:27:08
  merely to frighten me. However that might be, I was determined that I
• 1:27:12
  would never go to Louisiana with him. Summer passed away, and early in
• 1:27:17
  the autumn Doctor Flint's eldest son was sent to Louisiana to examine the country with
• 1:27:23
  a view to emigrating. That news did not disturb me. I knew very
• 1:27:27
  well that I should not be sent with him. That I had not been
• 1:27:30
  taken to the plantation before this time was owing to the fact that his son
• 1:27:34
  was there. He was jealous of his son, and jealousy of the overseer
• 1:27:39
  had kept him from punishing me by sending me into the fields to work.
• 1:27:43
  Is it strange that I was not proud of these protectors? As for the
• 1:27:46
  overseer, he was a man for whom I had less respect than I had
• 1:27:49
  for a bloodhound. Young mister Flint did not bring back a favorable report of
• 1:27:55
  Louisiana, and I heard no more of that scheme. Soon after this,
• 1:28:00
  my lover met me at the corner of the street, and I stopped to
• 1:28:02
  speak to him. Looking up, I saw my master watching us from his
• 1:28:06
  window. I hurried home, trembling with fear. I was sent for immediately
• 1:28:12
  to go to his room. He met me with a blow. When is
• 1:28:16
  mistress to be married? Said he in a sneering tone. A shower of
• 1:28:20
  oaths and imprecations followed. How thankful I was that my lover was a free
• 1:28:26
  man, that my tyrant had no power to flog him for speaking to me.
• 1:28:30
  In the street. Again and again I revolved in my mind how all
• 1:28:33
  this would end. There was no hope that the doctor would consent to sell
• 1:28:38
  me on any terms. He had an iron will and was determined to keep
• 1:28:42
  me and to conquer me. My lover was an intelligent and religious man.
• 1:28:45
  Even if he could have obtained permission to marry me while I was a slave,
• 1:28:49
  the marriage would give him no power to protect me from my master.
• 1:28:53
  It would have made him miserable to witness the insults I should have been subjected
• 1:28:57
  to. And then if we had children, I knew they must follow the
• 1:29:00
  condition of the mother. What a terrible blight that would be on the heart
• 1:29:04
  of a free, intelligent father. For his sake, I felt that I
• 1:29:09
  ought not to link his fate with my own unhappy destiny. He was going
• 1:29:14
  to Savannah to see about a little property left him by an uncle, and
• 1:29:16
  hard as it was to bring my feelings to it, I earnestly entreated him
• 1:29:20
  not to come back. I advised him to go to the free States,
• 1:29:25
  where his tongue would not be tied, and where his intelligence would be of
• 1:29:28
  more avail to him. He left me, still hoping the day would come
• 1:29:32
  when I could be bought with me. The lamp of hope had gone out.
• 1:29:36
  The dream of my girlhood was over. I felt lonely and desolate.
• 1:29:43
  Still I was not stripped of all. I still had my good grandmother and
• 1:29:46
  my affectionate brother. When he put his arms round my neck and looked into
• 1:29:50
  my eyes as if to read there the troubles I dared not tell, I
• 1:29:55
  felt that I still had something to love. But even that pleasant emotion was
• 1:29:59
  chill by the reflection that he might be torn from me at any moment,
• 1:30:02
  by some sudden freak of my master. If he had known how we loved
• 1:30:05
  each other, I think he would have exalted in separating us. We often
• 1:30:11
  planned together how we could get to the north, but as William remarked,
• 1:30:15
  such things are easier said than done. My movements were very closely watched,
• 1:30:19
  and we had no means of getting any money to defray our expenses. As
• 1:30:24
  for Grandmother, she was strongly opposed to her children's undertaking any such project.
• 1:30:28
  She had not forgotten poor Benjamin's sufferings, and she was afraid that if another
• 1:30:31
  child tried to escape, he would have a similar or a worse fate to
• 1:30:36
  me. Nothing seemed more dreadful than my present life. I said to myself,
• 1:30:42
  William must be free. He shall go to the North, and I
• 1:30:45
  will follow him. Many a slave sister has formed the same plans. End
• 1:30:54
  of Chapter seven, Chapter eight. What slaves are taught to think of the
• 1:30:59
  North? Slaveholders pride themselves upon being honorable men. But if you were to
• 1:31:04
  hear the enormous lies they tell their slaves, you would have small respect for
• 1:31:09
  their veracity. I have spoken plain English. Pardon me, I cannot use
• 1:31:14
  a milder term. When they visit the North and return home, they tell
• 1:31:18
  their slaves of the runaways they have seen, and describe them to be in
• 1:31:21
  the most deplorable condition. A slave holder once told me that he had seen
• 1:31:26
  a runaway friend of mine in New York, and that she besought him to
• 1:31:29
  take her back to her master, for she was literally dying of starvation.
• 1:31:32
  That many days she had only one cold potato to eat, and at other
• 1:31:36
  times could get nothing at all. He said, he refused to take her
• 1:31:41
  because he knew her master would not thank him for bringing such a miserable wretch
• 1:31:44
  to his house. He ended by saying, to me, this is the
• 1:31:47
  punishment she brought on herself for running away from a kind master. This whole
• 1:31:54
  story was false. I afterwards stayed with that friend in New York and found
• 1:31:59
  her in comfort durable circumstances. She had never thought of such a thing as
• 1:32:02
  wishing to go back to slavery. Many of the slaves believe such stories and
• 1:32:06
  think it is not worth while to exchange slavery for such a hard kind of
• 1:32:11
  freedom. It is difficult to persuade such that freedom could make them useful men
• 1:32:15
  and enable them to protect their wives and children. If those heathen in our
• 1:32:19
  Christian land had as much teaching as some Hindus, they would think otherwise,
• 1:32:24
  they would know that liberty is more valuable than life. They would begin to
• 1:32:28
  understand their own capabilities and exert themselves to become men and women. But while
• 1:32:33
  the free state sustain a law which hurls fugitives back into slavery, how can
• 1:32:39
  the slaves resolve to become men. There are some who strive to protect wives
• 1:32:43
  and daughters from the insults of their masters. But those who have such sentiments
• 1:32:47
  have had advantages above the general mass of slaves. They have been partially civilized
• 1:32:51
  and christianized by favorable circumstances, some are bold enough to utter such sentiments to
• 1:32:58
  their masters. Oh that their or more of them. Some poor creatures have
• 1:33:02
  been so brutalized by the lash that they will sneak out of the way to
• 1:33:05
  give their masters free access to their wives and daughters. Do you think this
• 1:33:10
  proves the black man to belong to an inferior order of beings? What would
• 1:33:14
  you be if you had been born and brought up a slave with generations of
• 1:33:17
  slaves for ancestors. I admit that the black man is inferior, But what
• 1:33:23
  is it that makes him so? It is the ignorance in which white men
• 1:33:27
  compel him to live. It is the torturing whip that lashes manhood out of
• 1:33:31
  him. It is the fierce bloodhounds of the South and the scarcely less cruel
• 1:33:35
  human bloodhounds of the North who enforce the fugitive slave law. They do the
• 1:33:41
  work Southern gentlemen indulge in the most contemptuous expressions about the Yankees, while they,
• 1:33:47
  on their part, consent to do the vilest work for them, such
• 1:33:50
  as the ferocious bloodhounds and the despised negro hunters are employed to do at home
• 1:33:56
  when Southerners go to the North, they are proud to do them honor.
• 1:34:00
  But the northern man is not welcome south of Mason and Dixon's line unless he
• 1:34:03
  suppresses every thought and feeling at variance with their peculiar institution. Nor is it
• 1:34:10
  enough to be silent. The masters are not pleased unless they obtain a greater
• 1:34:14
  degree of subservience than that, and they are generally accommodated. Do they respect
• 1:34:18
  the northerner for this? I trow not Even the slaves despise a northern man
• 1:34:25
  with Southern principles, And that is the class they generally see. When Northerners
• 1:34:30
  go to the South to reside, they prove very apt scholars. They soon
• 1:34:33
  imbibe the sentiments and disposition of their neighbors, and generally go beyond their teachers.
• 1:34:40
  Of the two, they are proverbially the hardest masters. They seem to
• 1:34:44
  satisfy their consciences with the doctrine that God created the Africans to be slaves.
• 1:34:48
  What a libel upon the heavenly Father, who made of one blood all nations
• 1:34:54
  of men? And then who are Africans who can measure the amount of Anglo
• 1:34:59
  Saxon blod blood coursing in the veins of American slaves. I have spoken of
• 1:35:03
  the pains that slaveholders take to give their slaves a bad opinion of the North.
• 1:35:08
  But notwithstanding this, intelligent slaves are aware that they have many friends in
• 1:35:12
  the Free States. Even the most ignorant have some confused notions about it.
• 1:35:16
  They knew that I could read, and I was often asked if I had
• 1:35:19
  seen anything in the newspapers about white folks over in the big North who were
• 1:35:24
  trying to get their freedom for them. Some believe that the abolitionists have already
• 1:35:28
  made them free, and that it is established by law, but that their
• 1:35:31
  masters prevent the law from going into effect. One woman begged me to get
• 1:35:35
  a newspaper and read it over. She said her husband told her that the
• 1:35:39
  black people had sent word to the Queen of America that they were all slaves,
• 1:35:44
  and that she didn't believe it, and went to Washington City to see
• 1:35:46
  the presentent about it. They quarreled. She drew her sword upon him and
• 1:35:50
  swore that he should help her to make them all free. That poor ignorant
• 1:35:56
  woman thought that America was governed by a queen to whom the president subordinate.
• 1:36:00
  I wish the president was subordinate to Queen Justice. End of Chapter eight,
• 1:36:15
  Chapter nine sketches of neighboring slaveholders. There was a planter in the country not
• 1:36:21
  far from us, whom I will call mister Lytch. He was an ill
• 1:36:26
  bred, uneducated man, but very wealthy. He had six hundred slaves,
• 1:36:31
  many of whom he did not know by sight. His extensive plantation was managed
• 1:36:35
  by well paid overseers. There was a jail and a whipping post on his
• 1:36:40
  grounds, and whatever cruelties were perpetrated there, they passed without comment. He
• 1:36:45
  was so effectually screened by his great wealth that he was called to no account
• 1:36:49
  for his crimes, not even for murder. Various were the punishments resorted to.
• 1:36:56
  A favorite one was to tie a rope round a man's body, and
• 1:36:59
  suspect from the ground. A fire was kindled over him, from which was
• 1:37:03
  suspended a piece of fat pork. As this cooked, the scalding drops of
• 1:37:08
  fat continually fell on the bare flesh on his own plantation. He required very
• 1:37:14
  strict obedience to the eighth Commandment, but depredations on the neighbors were allowable,
• 1:37:18
  provided the culprit managed to evade detection or suspicion. If a neighbor brought a
• 1:37:23
  charge of theft against any of his slaves, he was browbeaten by the master,
• 1:37:28
  who assured him that his slaves had enough of everything at home and had
• 1:37:30
  no inducement to steal. No sooner was the neighbor's back turned than the accused
• 1:37:35
  was sought out and whipped for his lack of discretion. If a slave stole
• 1:37:41
  from him even a pound of meat or a peck of corn, if detection
• 1:37:45
  followed, he was put in chains and imprisoned, and so kept till his
• 1:37:48
  form was attenuated by hunger and suffering. A fresh net. Once bore his
• 1:37:54
  wine cellar and meat house miles away from the plantation. Some slaves followed and
• 1:37:59
  secured bits of meat and bottles of wine. Two were detected, a ham
• 1:38:03
  and some liquor being found in their huts. They were summoned by their master.
• 1:38:09
  No words were used, but a club felled them to the ground.
• 1:38:13
  A rough box was their coffin, and their interment was a dog's burial.
• 1:38:17
  Nothing was said. Murder was so common on his plantation that he feared to
• 1:38:23
  be alone after nightfall. He might have believed in ghosts. His brother if
• 1:38:28
  not equal in wealth, was at least equal in cruelty. His bloodhounds were
• 1:38:31
  well trained, Their pen was spacious and a teraar to the slaves. They
• 1:38:36
  were let loose on a runaway, and if they attacked him, they literally
• 1:38:41
  tore the flesh from his bones. When this slave holder died, his shrieks
• 1:38:45
  and groans were so frightful that they appalled even his own friends. His last
• 1:38:50
  words were, I am going to hell. Bury my money with me.
• 1:38:57
  After his death, his eyes remained open to press the lids down. Silver
• 1:39:00
  dollars were laid on them. These were buried with him. From this circumstance,
• 1:39:05
  a rumor went abroad that his coffin was filled with money. Three times,
• 1:39:09
  his grave was opened and his coffin taken out. The last time his
• 1:39:14
  body was found on the ground and a flock of buzzards were pecking at it.
• 1:39:17
  He was again interred and a sentinel set over his grave. The perpetrators
• 1:39:21
  were never discovered. Cruelty is contagious and uncivilized communities. Mister Connant, a
• 1:39:28
  neighbor of mister Lytch, returned from town one evening in a partial state of
• 1:39:31
  intoxication. His body servant gave him some offense. He was divested of his
• 1:39:36
  clothes except his shirt, whipped and tied to a large tree in front of
• 1:39:41
  the house. It was a stormy night in winter. The wind blew bitterly
• 1:39:45
  cold, and the boughs of the old tree crackled under falling sleet. A
• 1:39:49
  member of the family, fearing he would freeze to death, begged that he
• 1:39:54
  might be taken down, but the master would not relent. He remained there
• 1:39:58
  three hours, and when he was cut down, he was more dead than
• 1:40:01
  alive. Another slave, who stole a pig from this master to appease his
• 1:40:05
  hunger, was terribly flogged. In desperation, he tried to run away,
• 1:40:11
  but at the end of two miles he was so faint with loss of blood
• 1:40:15
  he thought he was dying. He had a wife, and he longed to
• 1:40:17
  see her once more. Too sick to walk, he crept back that long
• 1:40:21
  distance on his hands and knees. When he reached his master's it was night.
• 1:40:27
  He had not strength to rise and open the gate. He moaned and
• 1:40:30
  tried to call for help. I had a friend living in the same family.
• 1:40:34
  At last his cry reached her. She went out and found the prostrate
• 1:40:38
  man at the gate. She ran back to the house for assistance, and
• 1:40:42
  two men returned with her. They carried him in and laid him on the
• 1:40:45
  floor. The back of his shirt was one clot of blood. By means
• 1:40:49
  of lard, my friend loosened it from the raw flesh. She bandaged him,
• 1:40:54
  gave him cool drink, and left him to rest. The master said
• 1:40:58
  he deserved a hundred more lash when his own labor was stolen from him.
• 1:41:01
  He had stolen food to appease his hunger. This was his crime. Another
• 1:41:08
  neighbor was a Missus Wade. At no hour of the day was there cessation
• 1:41:12
  of the lash on her premises. Her labors began with the dawn and did
• 1:41:15
  not cease till long after nightfall. The barn was her particular place of torture.
• 1:41:20
  There she lashed the slaves with the might of a man. An old
• 1:41:25
  slave of hers once said to me, it is hell in Missus's house,
• 1:41:29
  peers, I can never get out day and night. I praise to die.
• 1:41:34
  The mistress died before the old woman, and when dying, entreated her
• 1:41:39
  husband not to permit any one of her slaves to look on her after death.
• 1:41:43
  A slave who had nursed her children, and had still a child in
• 1:41:45
  her care. Watched her chance and stole with it in her arms, to
• 1:41:49
  the room where lay her dead mistress. She gazed awhile on her, then
• 1:41:54
  raised her hand and dealt two blows on her face, saying, as she
• 1:41:57
  did so, the devil is got you. Now. She forgot that the
• 1:42:01
  child was looking on She had just begun to talk, and she said to
• 1:42:05
  her father, I did see ma, and Mammy did strike ma, so,
• 1:42:11
  striking her own little face with her hand. The master was startled.
• 1:42:15
  He could not imagine how the nurse could obtain access to the room where the
• 1:42:17
  corpse lay, for he kept the door locked. He questioned her. She
• 1:42:21
  confessed that what the child had said was true, and told how she had
• 1:42:26
  procured the key. She was sold to Georgia. In my childhood I knew
• 1:42:31
  a valuable slave named Charity, and loved her as all children did. Her
• 1:42:36
  young mistress married and took her to Louisiana. Her little boy, James,
• 1:42:41
  was sold to a good sort of master. He became involved in debt,
• 1:42:45
  and James was sold again to a wealthy slaveholder noted for his cruelty. With
• 1:42:49
  this man, he grew up to manhood receiving the treatment of a dog.
• 1:42:54
  After a severe whipping. To save himself from further infliction of the lash with
• 1:42:58
  which he was threatened, he took to the woods. He was in a
• 1:43:00
  most miserable condition, cut by the cowskin, half naked, half starved,
• 1:43:06
  and without the means of procuring a crust of bread. Some weeks after his
• 1:43:11
  escape, he was captured, tied, and carried back to his master's plantation.
• 1:43:16
  This man considered punishment in his jail on bread and water after receiving hundreds
• 1:43:21
  of lashes, too mild for the poor slave's offense. Therefore, he decided,
• 1:43:27
  after the overseer should have whipped him to his satisfaction, to have him
• 1:43:30
  placed between the screws of the cotton gin to stay as long as he had
• 1:43:33
  been in the woods. This wretched creature was cut with the whip from his
• 1:43:38
  head to his feet, then washed with a strong brine to prevent the flesh
• 1:43:42
  from mortifying and make it heel sooner than an otherwise wood. He was then
• 1:43:45
  put into the cotton gin, which was screwed down, only allowing him room
• 1:43:49
  to turn on his side when he could not lie on his back. Every
• 1:43:54
  morning a slave was sent with a piece of bread and bowl of water,
• 1:43:57
  which was placed within breach of the poor fellow. The slave was charged under
• 1:44:00
  penalty of severe punishment not to speak to him. Four days passed, and
• 1:44:06
  the slave continued to carry the bread and water. On the second morning,
• 1:44:10
  he found the bread gone but the water untouched. When he had been in
• 1:44:14
  the press four days and five nights, the slave informed his master that the
• 1:44:17
  water had not been used for four mornings, and that horrible stench came from
• 1:44:21
  the gin house. The overseer was sent to examine into it. When the
• 1:44:26
  press was unscrewed, the dead body was found partly eaten by rats and vermin.
• 1:44:31
  Perhaps the rats that devoured his bread had gnawed him before life was extinct.
• 1:44:36
  Poor Charity grandmother and I often asked each other how her affection at heart
• 1:44:41
  would bear the news if she should ever hear of the murder of her son.
• 1:44:45
  We had known her husband and knew that James was like him in manliness
• 1:44:48
  and intelligence. These were the qualities that made it so hard for him to
• 1:44:53
  be a plantation slave. They put him into a rough box and buried him
• 1:44:57
  with less feeling than would have been manifested for an old house dog. Nobody
• 1:45:01
  asked any questions. He was a slave, and the feeling was that the
• 1:45:05
  master had a right to do what he pleased with his own property, and
• 1:45:09
  what did he care for the value of a slave. He had hundreds of
• 1:45:13
  them. When they had finished their daily toil, they must hurry to eat
• 1:45:15
  their little morsels and be ready to extinguish their pine knots before nine o'clock.
• 1:45:20
  When the overseer went his patrol rounds, he entered every cabin to see that
• 1:45:25
  men and their wives had gone to bed together, lest the men, from
• 1:45:28
  over fatigue, should fall asleep in the chimney corner and remain there till the
• 1:45:31
  morning horn called them to their daily task. Women are considered of no value
• 1:45:36
  unless they continually increase their owner's stock. They are put on a par with
• 1:45:41
  animals. This same master shot a woman through the head who had run away
• 1:45:45
  and been brought back to him. No one called him to account for it.
• 1:45:48
  If a slave resisted being whipped, the bloodhounds were unpacked and set upon
• 1:45:54
  him to tear his flesh from his bones. The master who did these things
• 1:45:58
  was highly educated and styled a perfect gentleman. He also boasted the name and
• 1:46:03
  standing of a Christian, though Satan never had a truer follower. I could
• 1:46:09
  tell of more slaveholders as cruel as those I have described. They are not
• 1:46:13
  exceptions to the general rule. I do not say there are no humane slaveholders.
• 1:46:17
  Such characters do exist, notwithstanding the hardening influences around them, but they
• 1:46:23
  are like angels, visits few and far between. I knew a young lady
• 1:46:29
  who was one of these rare specimens. She was an orphan and inherited as
• 1:46:32
  slaves a woman and her six children. Their father was a free man.
• 1:46:36
  They had a comfortable home of their own, parents and children living together.
• 1:46:41
  The mother and eldest daughter served their mistress during the day and at night returned
• 1:46:45
  to their dwelling, which was on the premises. The young lady was very
• 1:46:48
  pious, and there was some reality in her religion. She taught her slaves
• 1:46:54
  to lead pure lives and wished them to enjoy the fruit of their industry.
• 1:46:58
  Her religion was not a garb put on for Sunday and laid aside till Sunday
• 1:47:02
  returned again. The eldest daughter of the slave mother was promised in marriage to
• 1:47:06
  a free man, and the day before the wedding, This good mistress emancipated
• 1:47:11
  her in order that her marriage might have the sanction of law. Reports said
• 1:47:15
  that this young lady cherished an unrequited affection for a man who had resolved to
• 1:47:19
  marry for wealth. In the course of time, a rich uncle of hers
• 1:47:23
  died. He left six thousand dollars to his two sons by a colored woman,
• 1:47:27
  and the remainder of his property to this orphan niece. The metal soon
• 1:47:31
  attracted the magnate the lady, and her weighty purse became his. She offered
• 1:47:36
  to manumit her slaves, telling them that her marriage might make unexpected changes in
• 1:47:42
  their destiny, and she wished to insure their happiness. They refused to take
• 1:47:45
  their freedom, saying that she had always been their best friend and they could
• 1:47:49
  not be so happy anywhere as with her. I was not surprised. I
• 1:47:54
  had often seen them in their comfortable home and thought that the whole town did
• 1:47:58
  not contain a happier family. They had never felt slavery, and when it
• 1:48:01
  was too late, they were convinced of its reality. When the new master
• 1:48:06
  claimed this family as his property, the father became furious and went to his
• 1:48:12
  mistress for protection. I can do nothing for you now, Harry, said
• 1:48:15
  she. I no longer have the power I had a week ago. I
• 1:48:19
  have succeeded in obtaining the freedom of your wife, but I cannot obtain it
• 1:48:24
  for your children. The unhappy father swore that nobody should take his children from
• 1:48:29
  him. He concealed them in the woods for some days, but they were
• 1:48:31
  discovered and taken. The father was put in jail, and the two oldest
• 1:48:35
  boys sold to Georgia. One little girl, too young to be of service
• 1:48:40
  to her master, was left with the wretched mother. The other three were
• 1:48:44
  carried to their master's plantation. The eldest soon became a mother, and when
• 1:48:48
  the slaveholder's wife looked at the babe, she wept bitterly. She knew that
• 1:48:53
  her own husband had violated the purity she had so carefully inculcated. She had
• 1:48:58
  a second child by her master, and then he sold her at his offspring
• 1:49:01
  to his brother. She bore two children to the brother and was sold again.
• 1:49:05
  The next sister went crazy. The life she was compelled to lead drove
• 1:49:10
  her mad. The third one became the mother of five daughters. Before the
• 1:49:15
  birth of the fourth, the pious mistress died to the last. She rendered
• 1:49:18
  every kindness to the slaves that her unfortunate circumstances permitted. She passed away peacefully,
• 1:49:24
  glad to close her eyes on a life which had been made so wretched
• 1:49:28
  by the man she loved. This man squandered the fortune he had received and
• 1:49:31
  sought to retrieve his affairs by a second marriage. But having retired after a
• 1:49:36
  night of drunken debauch, he was found dead in the morning. He was
• 1:49:41
  called a good master, for he fed and clothed his slaves better than most
• 1:49:45
  masters, and the lash was not heard on his plantation so frequently as on
• 1:49:49
  others. Had it not been for slavery, he would have been a better
• 1:49:54
  man, and his wife a happier woman. No pen can give an adequate
• 1:49:59
  description of the all pervading corruption produced by slavery. The slave girl is reared
• 1:50:03
  in an atmosphere licentiousness and fear. The lash and the foul talk of her
• 1:50:09
  master and his sons are her teachers. When she is fourteen or fifteen,
• 1:50:14
  her owner or his sons, or the overseer, or perhaps all of them
• 1:50:17
  begin to bribe her with presence. If these fail to accomplish their purpose,
• 1:50:23
  she is whipped or starved into submission to their will. She may have had
• 1:50:27
  religious principles inculcated by some pious mother or grandmother, or some good mistress.
• 1:50:32
  She may have a lover whose good opinion and peace of mind are dear to
• 1:50:35
  her heart. Or the profligate men who have power over her may be exceedingly
• 1:50:40
  odious to her, but resistance is hopeless. The poor worm shall prove her
• 1:50:45
  contest vain. Life's little day shall pass, and she is gone. The
• 1:50:50
  slaveholder's sons are, of course vitiated even while boys, by the unclean influences
• 1:50:57
  everywhere around them. Nor do the master his daughters always escape severe retributions sometimes
• 1:51:02
  come upon him for the wrongs he does to the daughters of the slaves.
• 1:51:05
  The white daughters early hear their parents quarreling about some female slave. Their curiosity
• 1:51:12
  is excited, and they soon learned the cause. They are attended by the
• 1:51:15
  young slave girls whom their father has corrupted, and they hear such talk as
• 1:51:19
  should never meet youthful ears or any other ears. They know that the woman's
• 1:51:24
  slaves are subject to their father's authority in all things, and in some cases
• 1:51:28
  they exercise the same authority over the men slaves. I have myself seen the
• 1:51:32
  master of such a household, whose head was bowed down in shame, for
• 1:51:36
  it was known in the neighborhood that his daughter had selected one of the meanest
• 1:51:40
  slaves on his plantation to be the father of his first grandchild. She did
• 1:51:44
  not make her advances to her equals, nor even to her father's more intelligent
• 1:51:47
  servants. She selected the most brutalized, over whom her authority could be exercised
• 1:51:54
  with less fear of exposure. Her father, half frantic with rage, sought
• 1:51:58
  to revenge himself on the affording black man, But his daughter, foreseeing the
• 1:52:02
  storm that would arise, had given him free papers and sent him out of
• 1:52:05
  the state. In such cases, the infant is smothered or scent where it
• 1:52:11
  is never seen by any who know its history. But if the white parent
• 1:52:15
  is the father instead of the mother, the offspring are unblushingly reared for the
• 1:52:19
  market. If they are girls, I have indicated plainly enough what will be
• 1:52:24
  their inevitable destiny. You may believe what I say, for I write only
• 1:52:30
  that whereof I know I was twenty one years in that cage of obscene birds.
• 1:52:34
  I can testify from my own experience and observation that slavery is a curse
• 1:52:40
  to the whites as well as to the blacks. It makes white fathers cruel
• 1:52:45
  and sensual, the sons violent and licentious. It contaminates the daughters and makes
• 1:52:49
  the wives wretched. And as for the colored race, it needs an abler
• 1:52:55
  pen than mine to describe the extremity of their sufferings the depth of their degradation.
• 1:53:00
  Yet few slaveholders seemed to be aware of the widespread moral ruin occasioned by
• 1:53:04
  this wicked system. Their talk is of blighted cotton crops, not of the
• 1:53:09
  blight on their children's souls. If you want to be fully convinced of the
• 1:53:14
  abominations of slavery, go on a Southern plantation and call yourself a Negro trader.
• 1:53:19
  Then there will be no concealment. You will see and hear things that
• 1:53:24
  will seem to you impossible among human beings with immortal souls. End of Chapter
• 1:53:31
  nine, Chapter ten, A perilous passage in the slave girl's life. After
• 1:53:40
  my lover went away, doctor Flint contrived a new plan. He seemed to
• 1:53:44
  have an idea that my fear of my mistress was his greatest obstacle in the
• 1:53:47
  blandest tones. He told me that he was going to build a small house
• 1:53:50
  for me in a secluded place, four miles away from the town. I
• 1:53:56
  shuddered, but I was constrained to listen while he talked of his intention to
• 1:53:59
  give me a home of my own and to make a lady of me.
• 1:54:02
  Hitherto, I had escaped my dreaded fate by being in the midst of people.
• 1:54:06
  My grandmother had already had high words with my master about me. She
• 1:54:11
  had told him pretty plainly what she thought of his character, and there was
• 1:54:14
  considerable gossip in the neighborhood about our affairs, to which the open mouthed jealousy
• 1:54:18
  of missus Flint contributed not a little. When my Master said he was going
• 1:54:23
  to build a house for me, and that he could do it with little
• 1:54:25
  trouble and expense, I was in hopes something would happen to frustrate his scheme.
• 1:54:30
  But I soon heard that the house was actually begun. I vowed before
• 1:54:33
  my maker that I would never enter it. I had rather toil on the
• 1:54:36
  plantation from dawn till dusk. I had rather live and die in jail than
• 1:54:42
  drag on from day to day through such a living death. I was determined
• 1:54:46
  that the Master whom I so hated and loathed, who had blighted the prospects
• 1:54:50
  of my youth and made my life a desert, should not, after my
• 1:54:54
  long struggle with him, succeed at last in trampling his victim under his feet.
• 1:54:59
  I would do do anything, everything for the sake of defeating him.
• 1:55:03
  What could I do? I thought and thought till I became desperate and made
• 1:55:09
  a plunge into the abyss. And now, reader, I come to a
• 1:55:13
  period in my unhappy life which I would gladly forget if I could. The
• 1:55:16
  remembrance fills me with sorrow and shame. It pains me to tell you of
• 1:55:20
  it. But I have promised to tell you the truth, and I will
• 1:55:25
  do it honestly. Let it cost me what it may. I will not
• 1:55:29
  try to screen myself behind the plea of compulsion from a master, for it
• 1:55:32
  was not so. Neither can I plead ignorance or thoughtlessness. For years,
• 1:55:38
  my master had done his utmost to pollute my mind with foul images and to
• 1:55:42
  destroy the pure principles inculcated by my grandmother and the good mistress of my childhood.
• 1:55:46
  The influences of slavery had had the same effect on me that they had
• 1:55:49
  had on other young girls. They had made me prematurely knowing concerning the evil
• 1:55:55
  ways of the world. I knew what I did, and I did it
• 1:55:59
  with deliberate calculation. But O, ye, happy women whose purity has been
• 1:56:04
  sheltered from childhood, who have been free to choose the objects of your affection,
• 1:56:09
  whose homes are protected by law, do not judge the poor, desolate
• 1:56:13
  slave girl too severely. If slavery had been abolished, I also could have
• 1:56:17
  married the man of my choice. I could have had a home shielded by
• 1:56:20
  the laws, and I should have been spared the painful task of confessing what
• 1:56:25
  I am now about to relate. But all my prospects had been blighted by
• 1:56:30
  slavery. I wanted to keep myself pure, and under the most adverse circumstances,
• 1:56:35
  I tried hard to preserve my self respect. But I was struggling alone
• 1:56:40
  in the powerful grasp of the demon slavery, and the monster proved too strong
• 1:56:44
  for me. I felt as if I was forsaken by God and man,
• 1:56:48
  as if all my efforts must be frustrated, and I became reckless in my
• 1:56:53
  despair. I have told you that doctor Flint's persecutions and his wife's jealousy had
• 1:56:58
  given rise to some gossip in the neighborhood. Among others, it chanced that
• 1:57:01
  a white, unmarried gentleman had obtained some knowledge of the circumstances in which I
• 1:57:05
  was placed. He knew my grandmother and often spoke to me in the street.
• 1:57:11
  He became interested for me, and asked questions about my master, which
• 1:57:15
  I answered in part. He expressed a great deal of sympathy and a wish
• 1:57:19
  to aid me. He constantly sought opportunities to see me, and wrote to
• 1:57:25
  me frequently. I was a poor slave girl, only fifteen years old,
• 1:57:30
  so much attention from a superior person was of course flattering, for human nature
• 1:57:34
  is the same in all. I also felt grateful for his sympathy, and
• 1:57:39
  encouraged by his kind words. It seemed to me a great thing to have
• 1:57:44
  such a friend. By degrees, a more tender feeling crept into my heart.
• 1:57:48
  He was an educated and eloquent gentleman, too eloquent alas for the poor
• 1:57:53
  slave girl who trusted in him. Of course, I saw whither all this
• 1:57:57
  was tending. I knew the impassable gulf between us. But to be an
• 1:58:00
  object of interest to a man who is not married and who is not her
• 1:58:03
  master is agreeable to the pride and feelings of a slave. If her miserable
• 1:58:09
  situation has left her any pride or sentiment. It seems less degrading to give
• 1:58:14
  oneself than to submit to compulsion. There is something akin to freedom in having
• 1:58:18
  a lover who has no control over you except that which he gains by kindness
• 1:58:23
  and attachment. A master may treat you as rudely as he pleases, and
• 1:58:28
  you dare not speak. Moreover, the wrong does not seem so great with
• 1:58:30
  an unmarried man as with one who has a wife. To be made unhappy.
• 1:58:34
  There may be sophistry in all this, but the condition of a slave
• 1:58:39
  confuses all principles of morality, and in fact renders the practice of them impossible.
• 1:58:45
  When I found that my master had actually begun to build the lonely cottage,
• 1:58:49
  other feelings mixed with those I have described. Revenge and calculations of interest
• 1:58:55
  were added to flattered vanity, and sincere gratitude for kindness I I knew nothing
• 1:59:00
  would enrage Doctor flinch so much as to know that I favored another, and
• 1:59:04
  it was something to triumph over my tyrant, even in that small way.
• 1:59:09
  I thought he would revenge himself by selling me, and I was sure my
• 1:59:12
  friend, mister Sands would buy me. He was a man of more generosity
• 1:59:15
  and feeling than my master, and I thought my freedom could be easily obtained
• 1:59:19
  from him. The crisis of my fate now came so near that I was
• 1:59:24
  desperate. I shuddered to think of being the mother of children that should be
• 1:59:28
  owned by my old tyrant. I knew that as soon as a new fancy
• 1:59:30
  took him, his victims were sold far off to get rid of them,
• 1:59:34
  especially if they had children. I had seen several women sold with babies at
• 1:59:39
  the breast. He never allowed as offspring by slaves to remain long in sight
• 1:59:43
  of himself and his wife. Of a man who was not my master,
• 1:59:46
  I could ask to have my children well supported, and in this case I
• 1:59:49
  felt confident I should obtain the boon. I also felt quite sure that they
• 1:59:54
  would be made free. With all these thoughts revolving in my mind, and
• 1:59:58
  seeing no other way of as escaping the doom, I so much dreaded.
• 2:00:01
  I made a headlong plunge. Pity me and pardon me, Oh virtuous reader,
• 2:00:09
  you never knew what it is to be a slave, to be entirely
• 2:00:12
  unprotected by law or custom, to have the laws reduce you to the condition
• 2:00:15
  of a chattel, entirely subject to the will of another. You never exhausted
• 2:00:20
  your ingenuity in avoiding the snares and eluding the power of a hated tyrant.
• 2:00:26
  You never shuddered at the sound of his footsteps and trembled within hearing of his
• 2:00:29
  voice. I know I did wrong. No one can feel it more sensibly
• 2:00:34
  than I do. The painful and humiliating memory will haunt me to my dying
• 2:00:39
  day. Still, in looking back calmly on the events of my life,
• 2:00:45
  I feel that the slave woman ought not to be judged by the same standard
• 2:00:47
  as others. The months passed on, I had many unhappy hours. I
• 2:00:54
  secretly mourned over the sorrow I was bringing on my grandmother, who had so
• 2:00:58
  tried to shield me from home. I knew that I was the greatest comfort
• 2:01:01
  of her old age, and that it was a source of pride to her
• 2:01:04
  that I had not degraded myself like most of the slaves. I wanted to
• 2:01:09
  confess to her that I was no longer worthy of her love, but I
• 2:01:13
  could not utter the dreaded words. As for doctor Flint, I had a
• 2:01:17
  feeling of satisfaction and triumph in the thought of telling him. From time to
• 2:01:21
  time he told me of his intended arrangements, and I was silent. At
• 2:01:26
  last, he came and told me the cottage was completed, and ordered me
• 2:01:29
  to go to it. I told him I would never enter it. He
• 2:01:32
  said, I have heard enough of such talk as that you shall go if
• 2:01:36
  you are carried by force, and you shall remain there. I replied,
• 2:01:42
  I will never go there. In a few months, I shall be a
• 2:01:45
  mother. He stood and looked at me in dumb amazement, and left the
• 2:01:49
  house without a word. I thought I should be happy in my triumph over
• 2:01:54
  him, But now that the truth was out and my relatives would hear of
• 2:01:58
  it, I felt wretched, humble, as were their circumstances. They had
• 2:02:02
  pride in my good character. Now how could I look at them in the
• 2:02:06
  face. My self respect was gone. I had resolved that I would be
• 2:02:11
  virtuous though I was a slave. I had said, let the storm beat
• 2:02:15
  I will brave it till I die. And now how humiliated I felt.
• 2:02:21
  I went to my grandmother. My lips moved to make confession, but the
• 2:02:27
  words stuck in my throat. I sat down in the shade of a tree
• 2:02:30
  at her door and began to sew. I think she saw something unusual.
• 2:02:34
  Was the matter with me? The mother of slaves is very watchful. She
• 2:02:39
  knows there is no security for her children after they have entered their teens.
• 2:02:43
  She lives in daily expectation of trouble. This leads to many questions. If
• 2:02:47
  the girl is of a sensitive nature, timidity keeps her from answering truthfully,
• 2:02:53
  and this well meant course, has a tendency to drive her from maternal counsels.
• 2:02:57
  Presently, in came my mistress like a mad one, and accused me
• 2:03:00
  concerning her husband. My grandmother, whose suspicions had been previously awakened, believed
• 2:03:05
  what she said. She exclaimed, Oh, Linda, has it come to
• 2:03:11
  this. I had rather see you dead than to see you as you are
• 2:03:14
  now. You are disgrace to your dead mother. She tore from my fingers
• 2:03:18
  my mother's wedding ring and her silver thimble. Go away, she exclaimed,
• 2:03:23
  and never come to my house again. Her approaches fell so hot and heavy
• 2:03:28
  that they left me no chance to answer. Bitter tears such as the eyes
• 2:03:32
  never shed but once, were my only answer. I rose from my seat,
• 2:03:36
  but fell back again, sobbing. She did not speak to me,
• 2:03:41
  but the tears were running down her furrowed cheeks, and they scorched me like
• 2:03:45
  fire. She had always been so kind to me, so kind. How
• 2:03:50
  I longed to throw myself at her feet and tell her all the truth.
• 2:03:55
  But she had ordered me to go and never to come there again. After
• 2:03:59
  a few minutes, I mustered strength and started to obey her. With what
• 2:04:02
  feelings did I now close that little gate which I used to open with such
• 2:04:06
  an eager hand in my childhood. It closed upon me with a sound I
• 2:04:10
  never heard before. Where could I go? I was afraid to return to
• 2:04:15
  my master's I walked on recklessly, not caring where I went or what would
• 2:04:19
  become of me. When I had gone four or five miles, fatigue compelled
• 2:04:24
  me to stop. I sat down on the stump of an old tree.
• 2:04:28
  The stars were shining through the boughs above me. How they mocked me with
• 2:04:31
  their bright, calm light. The hours passed by, and as I sat
• 2:04:36
  there alone, a chilliness and deadly sickness came over me. I sank on
• 2:04:41
  the ground. My mind was full of horrid thoughts. I prayed to die,
• 2:04:45
  but the prayer was not answered. At last, with great effort,
• 2:04:49
  I roused myself and walked some distance further to the house of a woman who
• 2:04:54
  had been a friend of my mother. When I told her why I was
• 2:04:57
  there, she spoke soothingly to me, but I could not be comforted.
• 2:05:00
  I thought I could bear my shame if I could only be reconciled to my
• 2:05:03
  grandmother. I longed to open my heart to her. I thought if she
• 2:05:09
  could know the real state of the case and all I had been bearing for
• 2:05:12
  years, she would perhaps judge me less harshly. My friend advised me to
• 2:05:16
  send for her. I did so, but days of agonizing suspense passed before
• 2:05:21
  she came. Had she utterly forsaken me? No? She came. At
• 2:05:27
  last. I knelt before her and told her the things that had poisoned my
• 2:05:30
  life, how long I had been persecuted, that I saw no way of
• 2:05:33
  escape, and in an hour of extremity I had become desperate. She listened
• 2:05:39
  in silence. I told her I would bear anything and do anything if in
• 2:05:43
  time I had hopes of obtaining her forgiveness. I begged of her to pity
• 2:05:46
  me for my dead mother's sake, and she did pity me. She did
• 2:05:50
  not say, I forgive you, but she looked at me lovingly with her
• 2:05:55
  eyes full of tears. She laid her old hand gently on my head and
• 2:06:00
  murmured, poor child, poor child. End of chapter ten, Chapter eleven,
• 2:06:10
  The New Tie to Life. I returned to my good grandmother's house.
• 2:06:15
  She had an interview with mister Sands. When she asked him why he could
• 2:06:17
  not have left her one ewe lamb, whether there was not plenty of slaves
• 2:06:21
  who did not care about character. He made no answer, but he spoke
• 2:06:25
  kind and encouraging words. He promised to care for my child and to buy
• 2:06:30
  me be the conditions what they might. I had not seen doctor Flint for
• 2:06:33
  five days. I had never seen him since I made the avowal to him.
• 2:06:38
  He talked of the disgrace I had brought on myself, how I had
• 2:06:41
  sinned against my master and mortified my old grandmother. He intimated that if I
• 2:06:45
  had accepted his proposals, he as a physician could have saved me from exposure.
• 2:06:50
  He even condescended to pity me. Could he have offered wormwood? More
• 2:06:55
  bitter he whose persecutions had been the cause of my sin, Linda said he,
• 2:07:00
  though you have been criminal towards me. I feel for you, and
• 2:07:04
  I can pardon you if you obey my wishes. Tell me whether the fellow
• 2:07:08
  you wanted to marry is the father of your child. If you deceive me,
• 2:07:12
  you shall feel the fires of hell. I did not feel as proud
• 2:07:16
  as I had done. My strongest weapon with him was gone. I was
• 2:07:20
  lowered in my own estimation and had resolved to bear his abuse in silence.
• 2:07:26
  But when he spoke contemptuously of the lover who had always treated me honorably,
• 2:07:30
  When I remembered that but for him I might have been a virtuous, free
• 2:07:32
  and happy wife, I lost my patience. I have sinned against God and
• 2:07:38
  myself, I replied, but not against you. He clenched his teeth and
• 2:07:44
  muttered, curse you. He came towards me with ill suppressed rage and exclaimed,
• 2:07:49
  you, obstinate girl. I could grind your bones to powder. You
• 2:07:54
  have thrown yourself away on some worthless rascal. You are weak minded and have
• 2:07:59
  been easily pursued, waited by those who don't care a straw for you.
• 2:08:01
  The future will settle accounts between us. You are blinded now, but hereafter
• 2:08:07
  you will be convinced that your master was your best friend. My lenity towards
• 2:08:11
  you is proof of it. I might have punished you in many ways.
• 2:08:13
  I might have whipped till you fell dead and the lash, but I wanted
• 2:08:18
  you to live. I would have bettered your condition. Others cannot do it.
• 2:08:22
  You are my slave. Your mistress, disgusted by your conduct, forbids
• 2:08:26
  you to return to the house. Therefore, I leave you here for the
• 2:08:30
  present, but I shall see you often. I will call to morrow.
• 2:08:37
  He came with frowning brows that showed a dissatisfied state of mine. After asking
• 2:08:41
  about my health, he inquired whether my board was paid and who visited me.
• 2:08:46
  He then went on to say that he had neglected his duty, that
• 2:08:50
  as a physician, there were certain things that he ought to have explained to
• 2:08:52
  me. Then followed talk such as would have made the most shameless blush.
• 2:08:58
  He ordered me to stand up before him. I obeyed I command, you,
• 2:09:03
  said, he to tell me whether the father of your child is white
• 2:09:05
  or black. I hesitated answer me this instant, he exclaimed. I did
• 2:09:13
  answer, he sprang upon me like a wolf and grabbed my arm as if
• 2:09:16
  he would have broken it. Do you love him, he said, in
• 2:09:20
  a hissing tone. I am thankful that I do not despise him, I
• 2:09:24
  replied. He raised his hand to strike me, but it fell again.
• 2:09:30
  I don't know what arrested the blow. He sat down with lips tightly compressed.
• 2:09:35
  At last, he spoke. I came here, said he to make
• 2:09:39
  you a friendly proposition, But your ingratitude chafes me beyond endurance. You turn
• 2:09:45
  aside all my good intentions towards you. I don't know what it is that
• 2:09:50
  keeps me from killing you again. He arose, as if he had a
• 2:09:52
  mind to strike me, but he resumed on one condition. I will forgive
• 2:09:58
  your insolence and crime. You must henceforth have no communication of any kind with
• 2:10:03
  the father of your child. You must not ask anything from him or receive
• 2:10:07
  anything from him. I will take care of you and your child. You
• 2:10:09
  had better promise this at once, and not wait till you are deserted by
• 2:10:13
  him. This is the last act of mercy I shall show towards you.
• 2:10:18
  I said something about being unwilling to have my child supported by a man who
• 2:10:22
  had cursed it and me. Also, He rejoined that a woman who had
• 2:10:26
  sunk to my level had no right to expect anything else. He asked for
• 2:10:30
  the last time, would I accept his kindness? I answered that I would
• 2:10:33
  not. Very well, said he, then take the consequences of your wayward
• 2:10:39
  course. Never look to me for help. You are my slave and shall
• 2:10:43
  always be my slave. I will never sell you that you may depend upon.
• 2:10:50
  Hope died away in my heart as he closed the door after him.
• 2:10:52
  I had calculated that, in his rage, he would sell me to a
• 2:10:56
  slave trader, and I knew the father of my child was on the watch
• 2:10:58
  to buy me. About this time, my uncle Philip was expected to return
• 2:11:03
  from a voyage. The day before his departure, I had officiated as bridesmaid
• 2:11:07
  to a young friend. My heart was then ill at ease, but my
• 2:11:11
  smiling countenance did not betray it. Only a year had passed, But what
• 2:11:16
  fearful changes it had wrought. My heart had grown gray in misery. Lives
• 2:11:20
  that flash and sunshine, and lives that are born in tears, received their
• 2:11:24
  hue from circumstances. None of us know what a year may bring forth.
• 2:11:30
  I felt no joy when they told me my uncle had come. He wanted
• 2:11:33
  to see me, though he knew what had happened. I shrank from him
• 2:11:37
  at first, but at last consented that he should come to my room.
• 2:11:41
  He received me as he had always done. Oh how my heart smote me
• 2:11:45
  when I felt his tears on my burning cheeks. The words of my grandmother
• 2:11:48
  came to my mind. Perhaps your mother and father are taken from the evil
• 2:11:52
  days to come. My disappointed heart could now praise God that it was so.
• 2:11:58
  But why thought I to my relatives ever cherish hopes for me? What
• 2:12:03
  was there to save me from the usual fate of slave girls, many more
• 2:12:05
  beautiful and more intelligent than I had experienced A similar fate were a far worse
• 2:12:11
  one. How could they hope that I should escape? My uncle's stay was
• 2:12:15
  short, and I was not sorry for it. I was too ill in
• 2:12:18
  mind and body to enjoy my friends as I had done. For some weeks,
• 2:12:22
  I was unable to leave my bed. I could not have any doctor
• 2:12:26
  but my master, and I would not have him sent for at last,
• 2:12:30
  alarmed by my increasing illness, they sent for him. I was very weak
• 2:12:33
  and nervous, and as soon as he entered the room, I began to
• 2:12:37
  scream. They told him my state was very critical. He had no wish
• 2:12:41
  to hasten me out of the world, and he withdrew. When my babe
• 2:12:45
  was born, they said it was premature. It weighed only four pounds,
• 2:12:48
  but God let it live. I heard the doctor say I could not survive
• 2:12:54
  till morning. I had often prayed for death, but now I did not
• 2:12:58
  want to die unless my child could die. Too many weeks passed before I
• 2:13:03
  was able to leave my bed. I was a mere wreck of my former
• 2:13:05
  self. For a year, there was scarcely a day when I was free
• 2:13:09
  from chills and fever. My Babe was also sickly. His little limbs were
• 2:13:13
  often racked with pain. Doctor Flint continued his visits to look after my health,
• 2:13:18
  and he did not fail to remind me that my child was an addition
• 2:13:22
  to his stock of slaves. I felt too feeble to dispute with him and
• 2:13:26
  listened to his remarks in silence. His visits were less frequent, but his
• 2:13:31
  busy spirit could not remain quiet. He employed my brother in his office,
• 2:13:35
  and he was made the medium of frequent notes and messages to me. William
• 2:13:39
  was a bright lad and of much use to the doctor. He had learned
• 2:13:43
  to put up medicines to leech, cup and bleed. He had taught himself
• 2:13:46
  to read and spell. I was proud of my brother, and the old
• 2:13:50
  doctor suspected as much. One day, when I had not seen him for
• 2:13:54
  several weeks, I heard his steps approaching the door. I dreaded the encounter
• 2:13:58
  and hid myself. He inquired for me, of course, but I was
• 2:14:03
  nowhere to be found. He went to his office and despatched William with a
• 2:14:07
  note. The color mounted my brother's face when he gave it to me,
• 2:14:09
  and he said, don't you hate me, Linda, for bringing you these
• 2:14:13
  things? I told him I could not blame him. He was a slave
• 2:14:18
  and obliged to obey his master's will. The note ordered me to come to
• 2:14:22
  his office. I went. He demanded to know where I was when he
• 2:14:26
  called. I told him I was at home. He flew into a passion
• 2:14:30
  and said he knew better. Then he launched out upon his usual themes,
• 2:14:33
  my crimes against him and my ingratitude for his forbearance. The laws were laid
• 2:14:39
  down to me anew and I was dismissed. I felt humiliated that my brother
• 2:14:43
  should stand by and listen to such language as would be addressed only to a
• 2:14:46
  slave. Poor boy. He was powerless to defend me, but I saw
• 2:14:52
  the tears which he vainly strove to keep back, the manifestation of feeling irritated
• 2:14:56
  the doctor William could do nothing to please him. One morning, he did
• 2:15:01
  not arrive at the office so early as usual, and that circumstance afforded his
• 2:15:05
  master an opportunity to vent his spleen. He was put in jail. The
• 2:15:09
  next day, my brother sent a traitor to the doctor with a request to
• 2:15:11
  be sold. His master was greatly incensed at what he called his insolence.
• 2:15:16
  He said he had put him there to reflect upon his bad conduct, and
• 2:15:20
  he certainly was not giving any evidence of repentance. For two days he harassed
• 2:15:24
  himself to find somebody to do his office work, but everything went wrong without
• 2:15:28
  William. He was released and ordered to take his old stand, with many
• 2:15:33
  threats if he was not careful about his future behavior. As the months passed
• 2:15:37
  on, my boy improved in health. When he was a year old,
• 2:15:41
  they called him beautiful. The little vine was taking deep root in my existence,
• 2:15:46
  though its clinging fondness excited a mixture of love and pain. When I
• 2:15:50
  was most sorely oppressed, I found a solace in his smiles. I loved
• 2:15:54
  to watch his infant slumbers. But always there was a dark cloud over my
• 2:16:00
  enjoyment. I could never forget that he was a slave. Sometimes I wished
• 2:16:05
  that he might die in infancy. God tried me. My darling became very
• 2:16:11
  ill. The bright eyes grew dull, and the little feet and hands were
• 2:16:13
  so icy cold that I thought death had already touched them. I had prayed
• 2:16:18
  for his death, but never so earnestly as I now prayed for his life.
• 2:16:22
  And my prayer was heard alas what mockery it is for a slave mother
• 2:16:28
  to try to pray back her dying child to life. Death is better than
• 2:16:33
  slavery. It was a sad thought that I had no name to give my
• 2:16:37
  child. His father caressed him and treated him kindly whenever he had a chance
• 2:16:41
  to see him. He was not unwilling that he should bear his name,
• 2:16:45
  but he had no legal claim to it. And if I had bestowed it
• 2:16:48
  upon him. My master would have regarded it as a new crime, a
• 2:16:50
  new piece of insolence, and would perhaps revenge it on the boy. Oh,
• 2:16:56
  the serpent of slavery has many and poisonous fangs. End of Chapter eleven,
• 2:17:03
  Chapter twelve, Fear of insurrection. Not far from this time, Nat
• 2:17:09
  Turner's insurrection broke out, and the news through our town into great commotion.
• 2:17:15
  Strange that they should be alarmed when their slaves were so contented and happy,
• 2:17:20
  but so it was. It was always the custom to have a muster every
• 2:17:24
  year. On that occasion, every white man shouldered his musket. The citizens
• 2:17:28
  and the so called country gentlemen wore military uniforms. The poor whites took their
• 2:17:33
  places in the ranks in every day dress, some without shoes, some without
• 2:17:37
  hats. This grand occasion had already passed, and when the slaves were told
• 2:17:43
  there was to be another muster, they were surprised and rejoiced. Poor creatures.
• 2:17:48
  They thought it was going to be a holiday. I was informed of
• 2:17:52
  the true state of affairs, and imparted it to the few I could trust
• 2:17:56
  most gladly. Would I have proclaimed it to every slave, but I dared
• 2:18:00
  not. All could not be relied on Mighty as the power of the torturing
• 2:18:05
  lash. By sunrise, people were pouring in from every quarter within twenty miles
• 2:18:09
  of the town. I knew the houses were to be searched, and I
• 2:18:13
  expected it would be done by country bullies and the poor whites. I knew
• 2:18:16
  nothing annoyed them so much as to see colored people living in comfort and respectability.
• 2:18:22
  So I made arrangements for them with special care. I arranged everything in
• 2:18:26
  my grandmother's house as neatly as possible. I put white quilts on the beds
• 2:18:30
  and decorated some of the rooms with flowers. When all was arranged, I
• 2:18:33
  sat down at the window to watch. Far as my eye could reach.
• 2:18:37
  It rested on a motley crowd of soldiers, drums and fifes were discoursing martial
• 2:18:43
  music. The men were divided into companies of sixteen, each headed by a
• 2:18:48
  captain. Orders were given, and the wild scouts rushed in every direction wherever
• 2:18:52
  a colored face to be found. It was a grand opportunity for the low
• 2:18:56
  whites, who had no negroes of their own to scourge. They exalted in
• 2:19:01
  such a chance to exercise a little brief authority and show their subserviency to the
• 2:19:07
  slaveholders, not reflecting that the power which trampled on the colored people also kept
• 2:19:11
  themselves in poverty, ignorance, and moral degradation. Those who never witnessed such
• 2:19:16
  scenes can hardly believe what I know was inflicted at this time on innocent men,
• 2:19:20
  women, and children, against whom there was not the slightest ground for
• 2:19:24
  suspicion. Colored people and slaves who lived in remote parts of the town suffered
• 2:19:28
  in an especial manner. In some cases, the searchers scattered powder and shot
• 2:19:33
  among their clothes, and then sent other parties to find them and bring them
• 2:19:37
  forward as proof that they were plotting insurrection. Everywhere, men, women and
• 2:19:43
  children were whipped till the blood stood in puddles at their feet. Some received
• 2:19:46
  five hundred lashes. Others were tied hands and feet and tortured with a bucking
• 2:19:52
  paddle, which blisters the skin terribly. The dwellings of the colored people,
• 2:19:56
  unless they happened to be protected by some influential white pas person who was nigh
• 2:20:01
  at hand, were robbed of clothing and everything else the marauders thought worth carrying
• 2:20:05
  away. All day long, these unfeeling wretches went round like a troop of
• 2:20:11
  demons, terrifying and tormenting the helpless. At night, they formed themselves into
• 2:20:16
  patrol bands and went wherever they chose among the colored people, acting out their
• 2:20:20
  brutal will. Many women hid themselves in woods and swamps to keep out of
• 2:20:24
  their way. If any of the husbands or fathers told of these outrages,
• 2:20:28
  they were tied up to the public whipping post and cruelly scourged for telling lies
• 2:20:33
  about white men. The consternation was universal. No two people that had the
• 2:20:37
  slightest tinge of color in their faces dared to be seen talking together. I
• 2:20:43
  entertained no positive fears about our household, because we were in the midst of
• 2:20:48
  white families who would protect us. We were ready to receive the soldiers whenever
• 2:20:52
  they came. It was not long before we heard the tramp of feet and
• 2:20:56
  the sound of voices. The door was rudely pushed open, and in they
• 2:21:00
  tumbled, like a pack of hungry wolves. They snatched at everything within their
• 2:21:05
  reach. Every box, trunk, closet and corner underwent a thorough examination.
• 2:21:09
  A box in one of the drawers containing some silver change was eagerly pounced upon.
• 2:21:15
  When I stepped forward to take it from them. One of the soldiers
• 2:21:18
  turned and said, angrily, what do you follow us for? Do you
• 2:21:20
  suppose white folks has come to steal? I replied, you have come to
• 2:21:26
  search, but you have searched that box, and I will take it if
• 2:21:30
  you please. At that moment I saw a white gentleman who was friendly to
• 2:21:33
  us, and I called to him and asked him to have the goodness to
• 2:21:37
  come in and stay till the search was over. He readily complied. His
• 2:21:41
  entrance into the house brought in the captain of the company, whose business it
• 2:21:45
  was to guard the outside of the house and see that none of the inmates
• 2:21:48
  left it. This officer was mister Lytch, the wealthy slave holder, whom
• 2:21:52
  I mentioned in the account of neighboring planters as being notorious for his cruelty.
• 2:21:58
  He felt above soiling his hands with the search. He merely gave orders,
• 2:22:03
  and if a bit of writing was discovered, it was carried to him by
• 2:22:05
  his ignorant followers, who were unable to read. My grandmother had a large
• 2:22:11
  trunk of bedding and tablecloth. When that was opened, there was a great
• 2:22:13
  shout of surprise, and one exclaimed where'd the damned niggers get all this sheet
• 2:22:18
  and tablecloth? My grandmother, emboldened by the presence of our white protector,
• 2:22:24
  said, you may be sure we didn't pil from from your houses. Look
• 2:22:28
  here, Mammy, said a grim looking fellow without any coat. You seem
• 2:22:33
  to feel mighty grand cause you got all the mere Fixen's white folks ought to
• 2:22:37
  have em all. His remarks were interrupted by a chorus of voices shouting,
• 2:22:41
  we's got em, We's got em. To sir Allergale's got letters. There
• 2:22:46
  was a general rush for the supposed letter, which, upon examination, proved
• 2:22:50
  to be some verses written to me by a friend. In packing away my
• 2:22:54
  things, I had overlooked them. When their captain informed them of their contents,
• 2:22:58
  they seemed much disappointed. He inquired of me who wrote them. I
• 2:23:03
  told him it was one of my friends. Can you read them? He
• 2:23:07
  asked. When I told him I could, he swore and raved and tore
• 2:23:11
  the paper into bits. Bring me all your letters, said he, in
• 2:23:15
  commanding tone. I told him I had none. Don't be afraid, he
• 2:23:20
  continued, in an insinuating way. Bring them all to me. Nobody shall
• 2:23:24
  do you any harm. Seeing I did not move to obey him. His
• 2:23:28
  pleasant tone changed to oaths and threats. Who writes to you half free niggers?
• 2:23:35
  Inquired he I replied, oh, no, Most of my letters are
• 2:23:39
  from white people. Some request me to burn them after they are read,
• 2:23:43
  and some might destroy without reading. An exclamation of surprise from some of the
• 2:23:48
  company put a stop to our conversation. Some silver spoons, which ornamented in
• 2:23:52
  old fashioned buffet, had just been discovered. My grandmother was in the habit
• 2:23:56
  of preserving fruit from any ladies in the town, and of preparing suppers for
• 2:24:01
  parties. Consequently, she had many jars of preserves. The closet that contained
• 2:24:05
  these was next invaded and the contents tasted. One of them, who was
• 2:24:09
  helping himself, freely tapped his neighbor on the shoulder and said, while done,
• 2:24:15
  do wonder de niggers want to kill all white folks when they live on
• 2:24:18
  sarves, meaning preserves. I stretched out my hand to take the jar,
• 2:24:22
  saying, you were not sent here to search for sweetmeats, and what were
• 2:24:28
  we sent for? Said the captain, bristling up to me. I evaded
• 2:24:31
  the question. The search of the house was completed and nothing found to condemn
• 2:24:37
  us. They next proceeded to the garden and knocked about every bush and vine,
• 2:24:41
  with no better success. The captain called his men together, and after
• 2:24:45
  a short consultation, the order to march was given. As they passed out
• 2:24:50
  of the gate, the captain turned back and pronounced a malediction on the house.
• 2:24:54
  He said it ought to be burned to the ground, and each of
• 2:24:56
  its inmates received thirty nine lashes. We came out of this affair very fortunately,
• 2:25:01
  not losing anything except some wearing apparel. Towards evening, the turbulence increased.
• 2:25:07
  The soldiers, stimulated by drink, committed still greater cruelties. Shrieks and
• 2:25:13
  shouts continually rent the air. Not daring to go to the door, I
• 2:25:18
  peeped under the window curtain. I saw a mob dragging along a number of
• 2:25:22
  colored people, each white man with his musket upraised, threatening instant death that
• 2:25:26
  they did not stop their shrieks. Among the prisoners was a respectable old colored
• 2:25:31
  minister. They had found a few parcels of shot in his house, which
• 2:25:35
  his wife had for years used to balance her scales. For this, they
• 2:25:39
  were going to shoot him on court House Green. What a spectacle was that
• 2:25:43
  for a civilized country, a rabble staggering under intoxication. Assuming to be the
• 2:25:48
  administrators of justice. The better class of the community exerted their influence to save
• 2:25:54
  the innocent persecuted people, and in several instances they succeeded by keeping them shut
• 2:26:00
  up in jail. To the excitement abated. At last, the white citizens
• 2:26:03
  found that their own property was not safe from the lawless rabble they had summoned
• 2:26:07
  to protect them. They rallied the drunken swarm, drove them back into the
• 2:26:11
  country, and set a guard over the town. The next day. The
• 2:26:16
  town patrols were commissioned to search colored people that lived out of the city,
• 2:26:20
  and the most shocking outrages were committed with perfect impunity every day for a fortnight.
• 2:26:26
  If I looked out, I saw horsemen with some poor panting negro tied
• 2:26:30
  to their saddles and compelled by the lash to keep up with their speed till
• 2:26:33
  they arrived at the jail yard. Those who had been whipped too unmercifully to
• 2:26:37
  walk, were washed with brine, tossed into a cart, and carried to
• 2:26:41
  jail. One black man, who had not fortitude to endure scourging promised to
• 2:26:46
  give information about the conspiracy, but it turned out that he knew nothing at
• 2:26:50
  all. He had not even heard the name of Nat Turner. The poor
• 2:26:54
  fellow had, however, made up a story which augmented his own sufferings and
• 2:27:00
  those of the colored people. The day patrol continued for some weeks, and
• 2:27:03
  at sundown a night guard was substituted. Nothing at all was proved against the
• 2:27:09
  colored people, bond or free. The wrath of the slave holders was somewhat
• 2:27:13
  appeased by the capture of Nat Turner. The imprisoned were released, the slaves
• 2:27:18
  were sent to their masters, and the free were permitted to return to their
• 2:27:20
  ravaged homes. Visiting was strictly forbidden on the plantations. The slaves begged the
• 2:27:26
  privilege of again meeting at their little church in the woods with their burying ground
• 2:27:30
  around it. It was built by the colored people, and they had no
• 2:27:33
  higher happiness than to meet there and sing hymns together and pour out their hearts
• 2:27:37
  and spontaneous prayer. Their request was denied, and the church was demolished.
• 2:27:43
  They were permitted to attend the white churches, a certain portion of the galleries
• 2:27:48
  being appropriated to their use. There when everybody else had partaken of the communion
• 2:27:52
  and the benediction had been pronounced, the minister said, come down now,
• 2:27:58
  my colored friends. They obeyed the summons and partook of the bread and wine
• 2:28:01
  in commemoration of the meek and lowly Jesus, who said, God is your
• 2:28:07
  father, and all ye are brethren. End of Chapter twelve, Chapter thirteen.
• 2:28:16
  The Church and Slavery. After the alarm caused by Nat Turner's insurrection had
• 2:28:24
  subsided, the slaveholders came to the conclusion that it would be well to give
• 2:28:28
  the slaves enough of religious instruction to keep them from murdering their masters. The
• 2:28:33
  episcopal clergymen offered to hold a separate service on Sundays for their benefit. His
• 2:28:37
  colored members were very few and also very respectable, a fact which I presume
• 2:28:43
  had some weight with him. The difficulty was to decide on a suitable place
• 2:28:48
  for them to worship. The Methodist and Baptist churches admitted them in the afternoon,
• 2:28:52
  but their carpets and cushions were not so costly as those at the Episcopal
• 2:28:56
  church. It was at last decided that that they should meet at the house
• 2:29:01
  of a free colored man who was a member. I was invited to attend
• 2:29:05
  because I could read. Sunday evening came, and trusting to the cover of
• 2:29:09
  night, I ventured out. I rarely ventured out by daylight, for I
• 2:29:13
  always went with fear, expecting at every turn to encounter Doctor Flint, who
• 2:29:18
  was sure to turn me back or order me to his office to inquire where
• 2:29:22
  I got my bonnet or some other article of dress. When the reverend mister
• 2:29:26
  Pike came, there were some twenty persons present. The reverend gentleman knelt in
• 2:29:31
  prayer, then seated himself and requested all present who could read, to open
• 2:29:37
  their books while he gave out the portions he wished them to repeat or respond
• 2:29:41
  to. His text was, servants, be obedient to them that are your
• 2:29:48
  masters, according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in singleness of
• 2:29:52
  your heart, as unto Christ pious. Mister Pike brushed up his hair till
• 2:29:58
  it stood upright, and indeed, deep solemn tones began. Hearken, ye,
• 2:30:03
  servants, give strict heed unto my words. You are rebellious sinners.
• 2:30:09
  Your hearts are filled with all manner of evil. Tis the devil who tempts
• 2:30:13
  you. God is angry with you. It will surely punish you if you
• 2:30:16
  don't forsake your wicked ways. You that live in town or i servants behind
• 2:30:20
  your master's back. Instead of serving your master's faithfully, which is pleasing in
• 2:30:26
  the sight of your heavenly master, you are idle and shirk your work.
• 2:30:30
  God sees you. You tell lies. God hears you. Instead of being
• 2:30:37
  engaged in worshiping him. You are hidden away somewhere, feasting on your master's
• 2:30:41
  substance, tossing coffee grounds with some wicked fortune teller, or cutting cards with
• 2:30:46
  another old hag. Your masters may not find you out, but God sees
• 2:30:50
  you and will punish you. Oh the depravity of your hearts. When your
• 2:30:56
  master's work is done, are you quietly together thinking of the goodness of God?
• 2:31:00
  Such sinful creatures. No, you are quarreling and tying up little bags
• 2:31:05
  of roots to bury under the door steps, to poison each other with.
• 2:31:09
  God sees you. You men steal away to every grog shop to sell your
• 2:31:13
  master's corn, that you may buy rum to drink. God sees you you
• 2:31:20
  sneak into the back streets or among the bushes to pitch coppers. Although your
• 2:31:24
  masters may not find you out. God sees you, and he will punish
• 2:31:28
  you. You must forsake your sinful ways and be faithful servants. Obey your
• 2:31:33
  old master and your young master, your old mistress and your young mistress.
• 2:31:39
  If you disobey your earthly master, you offend your heavenly master. You must
• 2:31:43
  obey God's commandments when you go from here. Don't stop at the corners of
• 2:31:48
  the streets to talk, but go directly home, and let your master and
• 2:31:52
  mistress see that you have come. The benediction was pronounced. We went home
• 2:31:58
  highly amused at Brother Pike's gospel teaching, and we determined to hear him again.
• 2:32:03
  I went the next Sabbath evening and heard pretty much a repetition of the
• 2:32:07
  last discourse. At the close of the meeting, mister Pike informed us that
• 2:32:11
  he found it very inconvenient to meet at the friend's house, and he should
• 2:32:15
  be glad to see us every Sunday evening at his own kitchen. I went
• 2:32:20
  home with the feeling that I had heard the Reverend mister Pike for the last
• 2:32:22
  time. Some of his members repaired to his house and found that the kitchens
• 2:32:26
  sported two tallow candles. The first time I am sure since its present document
• 2:32:31
  owned it. For the servants never had anything but pine knots. It was
• 2:32:35
  so long before the reverend Gentleman descended from his comfortable parlor that the slaves left
• 2:32:41
  and went away to enjoy a Methodist's shout. They never seemed so happy as
• 2:32:46
  when shouting and singing at religious meetings. Many of them are sincere and nearer
• 2:32:50
  to the gate of Heaven than sanctimonious mister Pike and other long faced Christians who
• 2:32:56
  see wounded Samaritans and pass by on the other side. The slaves generally composed
• 2:33:01
  their own songs and hymns, and they do not trouble their heads much about
• 2:33:05
  the measure. They often sing the following verses. Old Satan is one busy
• 2:33:11
  old man. He rolls dem blocks all in my way. But Jesus is
• 2:33:15
  my bosom friend. He rolls dem blocks away. If I had died when
• 2:33:20
  I was young, then how my stammering tongue would have sung. But I
• 2:33:24
  am old, and now I stand a narrow chance for to tread that heavenly
• 2:33:28
  land. I well remember one occasion when I attended a Methodist class meeting.
• 2:33:33
  I went with a burdened spirit and happened to sit next a poor, bereaved
• 2:33:37
  mother whose heart was still heavier than mine. The class leader was the town
• 2:33:41
  constable, a man who bought and sold slaves, who whipped his brethren and
• 2:33:46
  sisters of the church at the public whipping post in jail or out of jail.
• 2:33:52
  He was ready to perform that Christian office anywhere for fifty cents. This
• 2:33:56
  white faced, black hearted brother came near us, and he said to this
• 2:34:00
  stricken woman, sister, can't you tell us how the Lord deals with your
• 2:34:05
  soul? Do you love him as you did formerly? She rose to her
• 2:34:09
  feet and said, in piteous tones, my Lord and Master help me.
• 2:34:13
  My load is more than I can bear. God has hid himself from me,
• 2:34:18
  and I am left in darkness and misery. Then, striking her breast,
• 2:34:22
  she continued, I can't tell you what is in here. They've got
• 2:34:26
  all my children. Last week they took the last one. God only knows
• 2:34:31
  where they've sold her. They let me have her sixteen years and then,
• 2:34:35
  oh, oh, pray for her brothers and sisters. I've got nothing to
• 2:34:39
  live for now, God make my time short. She sat down, quivering
• 2:34:46
  in every limb. I saw that constable class leader become crimson in the face
• 2:34:50
  with suppressed laughter, while he held up his handkerchief, that those who were
• 2:34:54
  weeping for the poor woman's calamity might not see his merriment. Then, with
• 2:35:00
  assumed gravity, he said to the bereaved mother sister, pray to the Lord
• 2:35:05
  that every dispensation of his divine will may be sanctified to the good of your
• 2:35:09
  poor, needy soul. The congregation struck up a hymn and sung as though
• 2:35:15
  they were as free as the birds that warbled round us. All Satan thought
• 2:35:18
  he had a mighty aim. He missed my soul and caught my sins.
• 2:35:22
  Cry amen, cry amen, Cry amen to God. He took my sins
• 2:35:28
  upon his back, went muttering and grumbling down to hell. Cry amen,
• 2:35:33
  cry amen, Cry Amen to God. All Satan's church is here below,
• 2:35:39
  up to God's free church. I hope to go, Cry amen, cry
• 2:35:43
  amen, Cry amen to God. Precious are such moments to the poor slaves.
• 2:35:52
  If you were to hear them at such times, you might think they
• 2:35:54
  were happy. But can that hour of singing and shouting sustain them through the
• 2:35:58
  dreary weheak toiling without wages, under constant dread of the lash. The episcopal
• 2:36:05
  clergyman, who ever since my earliest recollection, had been a sort of god
• 2:36:09
  among the slave holders, concluded, as his family was large, that he
• 2:36:13
  must go where money was more abundant. A very different clergyman took his place.
• 2:36:18
  The change was very agreeable to the colored people, who said, God
• 2:36:22
  has sent us a good man. This time. They loved him, and
• 2:36:26
  their children followed him for a smile or kind word. Even the slave holders
• 2:36:31
  felt his influence. He brought to the rectory five slaves. His wife taught
• 2:36:35
  them to read and write, and to be useful to her and themselves.
• 2:36:39
  As soon as he was settled, he turned his attention to the needy slaves
• 2:36:43
  around him. He urged upon his parishioners the duty of having a meeting expressly
• 2:36:46
  for them every Sunday, with a sermon adapted to their comprehension. After much
• 2:36:52
  argument and importunity, it was finally agreed that they might occupy the gallery of
• 2:36:56
  the church on Sunday evenings. Many colored people, hitherto unaccustomed to attend church,
• 2:37:01
  now gladly went to hear the gospel preached. The sermons were simple,
• 2:37:07
  and they understood them. Moreover, it was the first time they had ever
• 2:37:11
  been addressed as human beings. It was not long before his white parishioners began
• 2:37:16
  to be dissatisfied. He was accused of preaching better sermons to the negroes than
• 2:37:20
  he did to them. He honestly confessed that he bestowed more pains upon those
• 2:37:24
  sermons than upon any others, For the slaves were reared in such ignorance that
• 2:37:28
  it was a difficult task to adapt himself to their comprehension. Dissensions arose in
• 2:37:33
  the parish. Some wanted he should preach to them in the evening and to
• 2:37:37
  the slaves in the afternoon. In the midst of these disputings, his wife
• 2:37:41
  died after a very short illness. Her slaves gathered round her dying bed in
• 2:37:46
  great sorrow. She said, I have tried to do you good and promote
• 2:37:50
  your happiness, and if I have failed, it has not been for want
• 2:37:52
  of interest in your welfare. Do not weep for me, but prepare for
• 2:37:58
  the new duties that lie before you. I leave you all free. May
• 2:38:01
  we meet in a better world. Her liberated slaves were sent away with funds
• 2:38:07
  to establish them comfortably. The colored people will long bless the memory of that
• 2:38:11
  truly Christian woman. Soon after her death, her husband preached his farewell sermon,
• 2:38:16
  and many tears were shed at his departure. Several years after, he
• 2:38:22
  passed through our town and preached to his former congregation. In his afternoon sermon,
• 2:38:26
  he addressed the colored people, my friends, said he It affords me
• 2:38:31
  great happiness to have an opportunity of speaking to you again. For two years,
• 2:38:37
  I have been striving to do something for the colored people of my own
• 2:38:39
  parish, but nothing is yet accomplished. I have not even preached a sermon
• 2:38:43
  to them. Try to live according to the word of God. My friends,
• 2:38:48
  your skin is darker than mine. But God judges men by their hearts,
• 2:38:52
  not by the color of their skins. This was strange doctrine from a
• 2:38:58
  Southern pulpit. It was very offensive to slaveholders. They said he and his
• 2:39:03
  wife had made fools of their slaves, and that he preached like a fool
• 2:39:05
  to the negroes. I knew an old black man whose piety and childlike trust
• 2:39:11
  in God were beautiful to witness. At fifty three years old, he joined
• 2:39:16
  the Baptist Church. He had a most earnest desire to learn to read.
• 2:39:20
  He thought he should know how to serve God better if he could only read
• 2:39:22
  the Bible. He came to me and begged me to teach him. He
• 2:39:26
  said he could not pay me, for he had no money, but he
• 2:39:30
  would bring me nice fruit when the season for it came. I asked him
• 2:39:33
  if he didn't know it was contrary to law and that slaves were whipped and
• 2:39:37
  imprisoned for teaching each other to read. This brought the tears into his eyes.
• 2:39:41
  Don't be troubled, Uncle Fred, said, I. I have no
• 2:39:46
  thoughts of refusing to teach you. I only told you of the law that
• 2:39:48
  you might know the danger and be on your guard. He thought he could
• 2:39:52
  plan to come three times a week without its being suspected. I selected a
• 2:39:56
  quiet nook where no intruder was likely to penetrate, and there I taught him
• 2:40:01
  as a b C. Considering his age, his progress was astonishing. As
• 2:40:05
  soon as he could spell in two syllables, he wanted to spell out words
• 2:40:09
  in the Bible. The happy smile that illuminated his face, but joy into
• 2:40:13
  my heart. After spelling out a few words, he paused and said,
• 2:40:18
  honey, it appears when I can read this good book. I shall be
• 2:40:22
  nearer to God. White man has got all the sense he can learn easy
• 2:40:26
  in any easy for all Black man like me. I only wants to read
• 2:40:30
  this book and I may know how to live. Then I have no fear
• 2:40:33
  about dying. I tried to encourage him by speaking of the rapid progress he
• 2:40:37
  had made. Have patience, child, he replied, I learned slow.
• 2:40:43
  I had no need of patience. His gratitude and the happiness imparted were more
• 2:40:48
  than a recompense for all my trouble. At the end of six months,
• 2:40:52
  he had read through the New Testament and could find any text in it.
• 2:40:56
  One day, when he had recited unusually well, I said, Uncle Fred,
• 2:41:00
  how do you manage to get your lessons so well? Lord bless you
• 2:41:03
  child? He replied, he never gives me a lesson that I don't pray
• 2:41:07
  to God to help me to understand what I spells and what I reads,
• 2:41:09
  and he does help me. Child, Bless his holy name. There are
• 2:41:13
  thousands who, like good Uncle Fred, are thirsting for the water of life.
• 2:41:18
  But the Law forbids it, and the churches withhold it. They send
• 2:41:24
  the Bible to heathen abroad and neglect the heathen at home. I am glad
• 2:41:28
  that missionaries go out to the dark corners of the earth, but I ask
• 2:41:31
  them not to overlook the dark corners at home. Talk to American slaveholders as
• 2:41:37
  you talk to savages in Africa. Tell them it was wrong to traffic in
• 2:41:41
  men. Tell them it is sinful to sell their own children and atrocious to
• 2:41:46
  violate their own daughters. Tell them that all men are brethren, and that
• 2:41:52
  man has no right to shut out the light of knowledge from his brother.
• 2:41:56
  Tell them they are answerable to God for sealing up the fountain of life from
• 2:42:00
  souls that are thirsting for it. There are men who would gladly undertake such
• 2:42:05
  missionary work as this, but alas their number is small, they are hated
• 2:42:11
  by the South and would be driven from its soil or dragged to prison to
• 2:42:15
  die, as others have been before them. The field is ripe for the
• 2:42:18
  harvest and waits the reapers. Perhaps the great grandchildren of Uncle Fred may have
• 2:42:24
  freely imparted to them the divine treasures which he sought by stealth at the risk
• 2:42:30
  of the prison and the scourge. Are doctors of divinity blind? Or are
• 2:42:35
  they hypocrites? I suppose some are the one and some the other. But
• 2:42:39
  I think if they felt the interest in the poor and lowly that they ought
• 2:42:43
  to feel, they would not be so easily blinded. A clergyman who goes
• 2:42:46
  to the South for the first time has usually some feeling, however vague,
• 2:42:50
  that slavery is wrong. The slaveholder suspects this and plays his game accordingly.
• 2:42:56
  He makes himself as agreeable as possible, talk on theology and other kindred topics.
• 2:43:03
  The reverend gentleman is asked to invoke a blessing on a table loaded with
• 2:43:05
  luxuries. After dinner, he walks round the premises and sees the beautiful groves
• 2:43:11
  and flowering vines, and the comfortable huts of favored household slaves. The southerner
• 2:43:16
  invites him to talk with those slaves. He asks them if they want to
• 2:43:20
  be free, and they say, oh, no, Masa. This is
• 2:43:22
  sufficient to satisfy him. He comes home to publish a south Side view of
• 2:43:28
  slavery and to complain of the exaggerations of the abolitionists. He assures people that
• 2:43:33
  he has been to the South and seen slavery for himself, that it is
• 2:43:37
  a beautiful patriarchal institution, that the slaves don't want their freedom, that they
• 2:43:41
  have Hallelujah meetings and other religious privileges. What does he know of the halft,
• 2:43:46
  starved wretches toiling from dawn till dark on the plantations, of mothers shrieking
• 2:43:52
  for their children, torn from their arms by slave traders, of young girls
• 2:43:58
  dragged down into moral filth, of pools of blood around the whipping post,
• 2:44:01
  of hounds trained to tear human flesh, of men screwed into cottagens to die.
• 2:44:09
  The slave holder showed him none of these things, and the slaves dared
• 2:44:11
  not tell them if he had asked them. There is a great difference between
• 2:44:16
  Christianity and religion at the South. If a man goes to the communion table
• 2:44:22
  and pays money into the treasury of the church, no matter if it be
• 2:44:24
  the price of blood, he is called religious. If a pastor has offspring
• 2:44:30
  by a woman not his wife, the church dismisses him if she is a
• 2:44:33
  white woman, but if she is colored, it does not hinder his continuing
• 2:44:37
  to be their good shepherd. When I was told that doctor Flint had joined
• 2:44:41
  the Episcopal Church, I was much surprised. I supposed that religion had a
• 2:44:46
  purifying effect on the character of men. But the worst persecutions I endured from
• 2:44:50
  him were after he was a communicant. The conversation of the doctor the day
• 2:44:56
  after he had been confirmed certainly gave me no indication that he had renounced the
• 2:45:00
  devil in all his works. In answer to some of his usual talk,
• 2:45:03
  I reminded him that he had just joined the church. Yes, Linda,
• 2:45:07
  said he. It was proper for me to do so. I am getting
• 2:45:11
  on in years, and my position in society requires it, and it puts
• 2:45:16
  an end to all the damned slang. You would do well to join the
• 2:45:18
  church too, Linda. There are sinners enough in it already rejoined I.
• 2:45:24
  If I could be allowed to live like a Christian, I should be glad.
• 2:45:28
  You can do what I require, and if you are faithful to me,
• 2:45:31
  you will be as virtuous as my wife. He replied. I answered
• 2:45:37
  that the Bible didn't say so. His voice became hoarse with rage. How
• 2:45:41
  dare you preach to me about your infernal Bible? He exclaimed? What right
• 2:45:46
  have you, who are my negro, to talk to me about what you
• 2:45:50
  would like and what you wouldn't like. I am your master, and you
• 2:45:54
  shall obey me. No wonder the slaves sing all. Satan's church is here
• 2:46:01
  below, up to God's free church. I hope to go. End of
• 2:46:07
  Chapter thirteen, Chapter fourteen, another link to life. I had not returned
• 2:46:16
  to my master's house since the birth of my child. The old man raved
• 2:46:20
  to have me thus removed from his immediate power. But his wife vowed,
• 2:46:24
  by all that was good and great, she would kill me if I came
• 2:46:26
  back, and he did not doubt her word. Sometimes he would stay away
• 2:46:31
  for a season, then he would come and renew the old, threadbare discourse
• 2:46:35
  about his forbearance and mine ingratitude. He labored most unnecessarily to convince me that
• 2:46:41
  I had lowered myself. The venomous old reprobate had no need of discanting on
• 2:46:46
  that theme. I felt humiliated enough. My unconscious babe was the ever present
• 2:46:52
  witness of my shame. I listened with silent contempt when he talked about my
• 2:46:56
  having forfeited his good opinion. But I sh I had bitter tears that I
• 2:47:01
  was no longer worthy of being respected by the good and pure alas slavery still
• 2:47:05
  held me in its poisonous grasp, there was no chance for me to be
• 2:47:09
  respectable. There was no prospect of being able to lead a better life.
• 2:47:15
  Sometimes, when my master found that I still refused to accept what he called
• 2:47:18
  his kind offers, he would threaten to sell my child. Perhaps that will
• 2:47:22
  humble you, said, he humble me. Was I not already in the
• 2:47:28
  dust. But his threat lacerated my heart. I knew the law gave him
• 2:47:33
  power to fulfill it, for slaveholders have been cunning enough to enact that the
• 2:47:37
  child shall follow the condition of the mother, not of the father, thus
• 2:47:41
  taking care that licentiousness shall not interfere with avarice. This reflection made me clasp
• 2:47:48
  my innocent babe all the more firmly to my heart. Horrid visions passed through
• 2:47:52
  my mind when I thought of his liability to fall into the slave trader's hands.
• 2:47:56
  I wept over him and said, oh, my child, perhaps they
• 2:48:00
  will leave you in some cold cabin to die, and then throw you into
• 2:48:03
  a hole as if you were a dog. When Doctor Flint learned that I
• 2:48:07
  was again to be a mother, he was exasperated beyond measure. He rushed
• 2:48:13
  from the house and returned with a pair of shears. I had a fine
• 2:48:16
  head of hair, and he often railed about my pride of arranging it nicely.
• 2:48:20
  He cut every hair close to my head, storming and swearing all the
• 2:48:26
  time. I replied to some of his abuse, and he struck me.
• 2:48:30
  Some months before he had pitched me downstairs in a fit of passion, and
• 2:48:33
  the injury I received was so serious that I was unable to turn myself in
• 2:48:37
  bed for many days. He then said, Linda, I swear by God,
• 2:48:41
  I will never raise my hand against you again. But I knew that
• 2:48:45
  he would forget his promise after he discovered my situation. He was like a
• 2:48:50
  restless spirit from the pit. He came every day, and I was subjected
• 2:48:54
  to such insults as no pen can describe. I would not describe them if
• 2:48:58
  I could, good they were too low, too revolting. I tried to
• 2:49:03
  keep them from my grandmother's knowledge as much as I could. I knew she
• 2:49:07
  had enough to sadden her life without having my troubles to bear. When she
• 2:49:11
  saw the doctor treat me with violence and heard him utter oaths terrible enough to
• 2:49:15
  palsy a man's tongue, she could not always hold her peace. It was
• 2:49:18
  natural and mother like that she should try to defend me, But it only
• 2:49:22
  made matters worse. When they told me my new born babe was a girl,
• 2:49:28
  my heart was heavier than it had ever been before. Slavery is terrible
• 2:49:33
  for men, but it is far more terrible for women. Super added to
• 2:49:37
  the burden common to all, they have wrongs and sufferings and mortifications, peculiarly
• 2:49:43
  their own. Doctor Flint had sworn that he would make me suffer to my
• 2:49:48
  last day for this new crime against him, as he called it, and
• 2:49:52
  as long as he had me in his power, he kept his word.
• 2:49:54
  On the fourth day after the birth of my babe, he entered my room
• 2:49:58
  suddenly and commanded me to rise and bring my baby to him. The nurse
• 2:50:01
  who took care of me had gone out of the room to prepare some nourishment,
• 2:50:05
  and I was alone. There was no alternative. I rose, took
• 2:50:09
  up my babe and crossed the room to where he sat. Now stand there,
• 2:50:13
  said he, till I tell you to go back. My child bore
• 2:50:18
  a strong resemblance to her father and to the deceased missus Sands, her grandmother.
• 2:50:22
  He noticed this, and while I stood before him, trembling with weakness,
• 2:50:26
  he heaped upon me and my little one every vile epithet he could think
• 2:50:31
  of. Even the grandmother and her grave did not escape his curses. In
• 2:50:35
  the midst of his vituperations, I fainted at his feet. This recalled him
• 2:50:39
  to his senses. He took the baby from my arms, laid it on
• 2:50:43
  the bed, dashed cold water in my face, took me up, and
• 2:50:46
  shook me violently to restore my consciousness before anyone entered the room. Just then
• 2:50:52
  my grandmother came in, and he hurried out of the house. I suffered
• 2:50:56
  in consequence of this treatment, but I begged my friends to let me die
• 2:51:00
  rather than send for the doctor. There was nothing I dreaded so much as
• 2:51:03
  his presence. My life was spared, and I was glad for the sake
• 2:51:07
  of my little ones. Had it not been for these ties to life,
• 2:51:09
  I should have been glad to be released by death, though I had lived
• 2:51:13
  only nineteen years. Always it gave me a pang that my children had no
• 2:51:18
  lawful claim to a name their father offered his. But if I had wished
• 2:51:22
  to accept the offer, I dared not while my master lived. Moreover,
• 2:51:26
  I knew it would not be accepted at their baptism a Christian name. They
• 2:51:31
  were at least entitled to, and we resolved to call my boy for our
• 2:51:33
  dear good Benjamin, who had gone far away from us. My grandmother belonged
• 2:51:39
  to the church, and she was very desirous of having the children christened.
• 2:51:43
  I knew Doctor Flint would forbid it, and I did not venture to attempt
• 2:51:46
  it, but chance favored me. He was called to visit a patient out
• 2:51:50
  of town and was obliged to be absent during Sunday. Now is the time,
• 2:51:56
  said my grandmother. We will take the children to church and have them
• 2:52:00
  christened. When I entered the church, recollections of my mother came over me,
• 2:52:05
  and I felt subdued in spirit. There she had presented me for baptism
• 2:52:09
  without any reason to feel ashamed. She had been married and had such legal
• 2:52:15
  rights as slavery allows to a slave. The vows had at least been sacred
• 2:52:18
  to her, and she had never violated them. I was glad she was
• 2:52:22
  not alive to know under what different circumstances her grandchildren were presented for baptism.
• 2:52:28
  Why had my lot been so different from my mother's. Her master had died
• 2:52:33
  when she was a child, and she remained with her mistress till she married.
• 2:52:35
  She was never in the power of any master, and thus she escaped
• 2:52:39
  one class of the evils that generally fall upon slaves. When my baby was
• 2:52:43
  about to be christened, the former mistress of my father stepped up to me
• 2:52:48
  and proposed to give it her Christian name. To this, I added the
• 2:52:52
  surname of my father, who had himself no legal right to it, for
• 2:52:56
  my grandfather on the paternal side was a white gentleman. What tangled skeins are
• 2:53:01
  the genealogies of slavery. I loved my father, but it mortified me to
• 2:53:05
  be obliged to bestow his name on my children. When we left the church,
• 2:53:11
  my father's old mistress invited me to go home with her. She clasped
• 2:53:15
  a gold chain round my baby's neck. I thanked her for this kindness,
• 2:53:18
  but I did not like the emblem. I wanted no chain to be fastened
• 2:53:22
  on my daughter, not even if its links were of gold. How earnestly,
• 2:53:28
  I prayed that she might never feel the weight of slavery's chain, whose
• 2:53:31
  iron entereth into the soul. End of chapter fourteen. Chapter fifteen continued persecutions.
• 2:53:43
  My children grew finely, and doctor Flint would often say to me with
• 2:53:46
  an exulting smile, these brats will bring me a handsome sum of money.
• 2:53:52
  One of these days, I thought to myself that God, being my helper,
• 2:53:56
  they should never pass into his hands. It seemed to me I would
• 2:54:01
  rather see them killed than have them given up to his power. The money
• 2:54:05
  for the freedom of myself and my children could be obtained, but I derived
• 2:54:07
  no advantage from that circumstance. Doctor Flint loved money, but he loved power
• 2:54:13
  more. After much discussion, my friends resolved on making another trial. There
• 2:54:18
  was a slave holder about to leave for Texas, and he was commissioned to
• 2:54:22
  buy me. He was to begin with nine hundred dollars and go up to
• 2:54:26
  twelve. My master refused his offers. Sir said he she don't belong to
• 2:54:33
  me. She is my daughter's property, and I have no right to sell
• 2:54:35
  her. I mistrust that you come from her paramour. If so, you
• 2:54:39
  may tell him that he cannot buy her for any money, neither can he
• 2:54:43
  buy her children. The doctor came to see me the next day, and
• 2:54:48
  my heart beat quicker as he entered. I had never seen the old man
• 2:54:52
  tread with so majestic a step. He seated himself and looked at me with
• 2:54:56
  withering scorn. My children had learned to be afrad him. The little one
• 2:55:01
  would shut her eyes and hide her face on my shoulder whenever she saw him,
• 2:55:05
  and Benny, who was now nearly five years old, often inquired,
• 2:55:09
  what makes that bad man come here so many times? Does he want to
• 2:55:11
  hurt us? I would clasp the dear boy in my arms, trusting that
• 2:55:16
  he would be free before he was old enough to solve the problem. And
• 2:55:20
  now, as the doctor sat there, so grim and silent, the child
• 2:55:24
  left his play and came and nestled up by me. At last, my
• 2:55:28
  tormentor spoke, So you are left in disgust, are you? Said he
• 2:55:33
  It is no more than I expected you. Remember I told you years ago
• 2:55:37
  that you would be treated so So he is tired of you. Ha ha.
• 2:55:41
  The virtuous Madam don't like to hear about it, does she? Ha
• 2:55:45
  ha. There was a sting in his calling me virtuous Madam. I no
• 2:55:48
  longer had the power of answering him as I had formerly done. He continued,
• 2:55:54
  So it seems you are trying to get up another intrigue. Your new
• 2:55:58
  paramore came to me and offered to buy you, but you may be assured
• 2:56:01
  you will not succeed. You are mine, and you shall be mine for
• 2:56:07
  life. There lives no human being that can take you out of slavery.
• 2:56:11
  I would have done it, but you rejected my kind offer. I told
• 2:56:16
  him I did not wish to get up any intrigue that I had never seen
• 2:56:18
  the man who offered to buy me. Do you tell me I lie?
• 2:56:24
  Exclaimed he, dragging me from my chair. Will you say again that you
• 2:56:28
  never saw that man? I answered, I do say so. He clenched
• 2:56:33
  my arm with a volley of oaths. Ben began to scream, and I
• 2:56:37
  told him to go to his grandmother. Don't you stir a step, you
• 2:56:39
  little wretch, said he. The child drew nearer to me and put his
• 2:56:43
  arms round me, as if he wanted to protect me. This was too
• 2:56:48
  much for my enraged master. He caught him up and hurled him across the
• 2:56:52
  room. I thought he was dead, and rushed towards him to take him
• 2:56:54
  up. Not yet, exclaimed the doctor. Let him lie there till he
• 2:56:58
  come too. Let me go. Let me go, I screamed, or
• 2:57:03
  I will raise the whole house. I struggled and got away, but he
• 2:57:07
  clenched me again. Somebody opened the door, and he released me. I
• 2:57:11
  picked up my insensible child, and when I turned my tormentor was gone.
• 2:57:16
  Anxiously, I bent over the little form, so pale and still, And
• 2:57:20
  when the brown eyes at last opened, I don't know whether I was very
• 2:57:24
  happy. All the doctor's former persecutions were renewed. He came morning, noon,
• 2:57:30
  and night. No jealous lover ever watched arrival more closely than he watched
• 2:57:35
  me and the unknown slaveholder, with whom he accused me of wishing to get
• 2:57:37
  up an intrigue. When my grandmother was out of the way, he searched
• 2:57:41
  every room to find him. In one of his visits, he happened to
• 2:57:46
  find a young girl whom he had sold to a trader a few days previous.
• 2:57:50
  His statement was that he sold her because she had been too familiar with
• 2:57:52
  the overseer. She had had a bitter life with him and was glad to
• 2:57:56
  be sold. She had no mother and no near ties. She had been
• 2:58:01
  torn from all her family years before. A few friends had entered into bonds
• 2:58:05
  for her safety if the trader would allow her to spend with them. The
• 2:58:09
  time that intervened between her sale and the gathering up of his human stock,
• 2:58:13
  such a favor was rarely granted. It saved the trader the expense of board
• 2:58:18
  and jail fees, and though the amount was small, it was a weighty
• 2:58:22
  consideration in a slave trader's mind. Doctor Flint always had an aversion to meeting
• 2:58:28
  slaves after he had sold them. He ordered Rose out of the house,
• 2:58:31
  but he was no longer her master, and she took no notice of him.
• 2:58:35
  For once the crushed Rose was the conqueror. His gray eyes flashed angrily
• 2:58:39
  upon her, but that was the extent of his power. How came this
• 2:58:43
  girl here? He exclaimed, What right had you to allow it when you
• 2:58:48
  knew I had sold her? I answered, this is my grandmother's house,
• 2:58:52
  and Rose came to see her. I have no right to turn anybody out
• 2:58:56
  of doors that comes here for honest purposes. He gave me the blow that
• 2:59:00
  would have fallen upon Rose if she had been still his slave. My grandmother's
• 2:59:03
  attention had been attracted by loud voices, and she entered in time to see
• 2:59:07
  a second blow dealt. She was not a woman to let such an outrage
• 2:59:11
  in her own house go unrebuked the doctor undertook to explain that I had been
• 2:59:16
  insolent. Her indignant feelings rose higher and higher, and finally boiled over in
• 2:59:22
  words, Get out of my house, she exclaimed, Go home and take
• 2:59:26
  care of your wife and children, and you will have enough to do without
• 2:59:28
  watching my family. He threw the birth of my children in her face and
• 2:59:33
  accused her of sanctioning the life I was leading. She told him I was
• 2:59:37
  living with her by compulsion of his wife. That he needn't accuse her,
• 2:59:41
  for he was the one to blame. He was the one who had caused
• 2:59:45
  all the trouble. She grew more and more excited as she went on.
• 2:59:48
  I tell you what, doctor Flint said. She you ain't got many more
• 2:59:52
  years to live, and you'd better be saying your prayers. It will take
• 2:59:54
  em all and more too to wash the dirt off your soul. Do you
• 3:00:00
  know whom you are talking to? He exclaimed, She replied, yes,
• 3:00:03
  I know very well who I am talking to. He left the house in
• 3:00:07
  a great rage. I looked at my grandmother. Our eyes met. Their
• 3:00:13
  angry expression had passed away, but she looked sorrowful and weary, weary of
• 3:00:18
  incessant strife. I wondered that it did not lessen her love for me,
• 3:00:22
  But if it did, she never showed it. She was always kind,
• 3:00:26
  always ready to sympathize with my troubles. There might have been peace and contentment
• 3:00:31
  in that humble home if it had not been for the demon's slavery. The
• 3:00:37
  winter passed undisturbed by the doctor. The beautiful spring came, and when nature
• 3:00:43
  resumes her loveliness, the human soul is apt to revive. Also, my
• 3:00:46
  drooping hopes came to life again with the flowers. I was dreaming of freedom
• 3:00:52
  again, more for my children's sake than my own. I planned, and
• 3:00:56
  I planned. Obstacles hit against plans, semed no way of overcoming them,
• 3:01:01
  and yet I hoped. Back came the wily doctor. I was not at
• 3:01:07
  home when he called. A friend had invited me to a small party,
• 3:01:11
  and to gratify her, I went to my great consternation. A messenger came
• 3:01:15
  in haste to say that doctor Flint was at my grandmother's and insisted on seeing
• 3:01:18
  me. They did not tell him where I was, or he would have
• 3:01:22
  come and raised a disturbance in my friend's house. They sent me a dark
• 3:01:26
  wrapper. I threw it on and hurried home. My speed did not save
• 3:01:30
  me. The doctor had gone away in anger. I dreaded the morning,
• 3:01:33
  but I could not delay it. It came warm and bright. At an
• 3:01:39
  early hour. The doctor came and asked me where I had been last night.
• 3:01:41
  I told him. He did not believe me, and sent to my
• 3:01:45
  friend's house to ascertain the facts. He came in the afternoon to assure me.
• 3:01:48
  He was satisfied that I had spoken the truth. He seemed to be
• 3:01:52
  in a facetious mood, and I expected some jeers were coming. I suppose
• 3:01:56
  you needed some recreation, said he. But I am surprised that you are
• 3:02:00
  being there among those negroes. It is not the place for you. Are
• 3:02:03
  you allowed to visit such people? I understood this covert fling at the white
• 3:02:07
  gentleman who was my friend, but I merely replied I went to visit my
• 3:02:11
  friends, and any company they keep is good enough for me. He went
• 3:02:16
  on to say, I have seen very little of you of late, but
• 3:02:20
  my interest in you is unchanged. When I said I would have no more
• 3:02:22
  mercy on you, I was rash. I recall my words, Linda,
• 3:02:26
  you desire freedom for yourself and your children, and you can obtain it only
• 3:02:31
  through me. If you agree to what I am about to propose, you
• 3:02:35
  and they shall be free. There must be no communication of any kind between
• 3:02:39
  you and their father. I will procure a cottage where you and the children
• 3:02:43
  can live together. Your labor shall be light, such as sewing from my
• 3:02:46
  family. Think what is offered you, Linda, a home and freedom.
• 3:02:52
  Let the past be forgotten. If I have been harsh with you at times,
• 3:02:54
  your wilfulness drove me to it. You know I exact obedience from my
• 3:02:58
  own children, and I consider you as yet a child. He paused for
• 3:03:03
  an answer, but I remained silent. Why don't you speak? Said he?
• 3:03:09
  What more? Do you wait for nothing? Sir? Then you accept
• 3:03:13
  my offer? No, sir. His anger was ready to break loose,
• 3:03:18
  but he succeeded in curbing it, and replied, you have answered without thought.
• 3:03:24
  But I must let you know there are two sides to my proposition.
• 3:03:28
  If you reject the bright side, you will be obliged to take the dark
• 3:03:31
  one. You must either accept my offer, or you and your children shall
• 3:03:35
  be sent to your young master's plantation, there to remain till your young mistress
• 3:03:39
  is married, and your children shall fare like the rest of the Negro children.
• 3:03:43
  I give you a week to consider it. He was shrewd, but
• 3:03:48
  I knew he was not to be trusted. I told him I was ready
• 3:03:50
  to give my answer now, I will not receive it now, He replied,
• 3:03:54
  you act too much from impulse. Remember that you and your children can
• 3:03:58
  be free a week from to day if you choose. And what a monstrous
• 3:04:03
  chance hung the destiny of my children. I knew that my master's offer was
• 3:04:07
  a snare, and that if I entered it, escape would be impossible.
• 3:04:11
  As for his promise, I knew him so well that I was sure if
• 3:04:15
  he gave me free papers, they would be so managed as to have no
• 3:04:18
  legal value. The alternative was inevitable. I resolved to go to the plantation.
• 3:04:26
  But then I thought how completely I should be in his power, and
• 3:04:28
  the prospect was appalling. Even if I should kneel before him and implore him
• 3:04:33
  to spare me for the sake of my children, I knew he would spurn
• 3:04:37
  me with his foot, and my weakness would be his triumph. Before the
• 3:04:41
  week expired, I heard that young mister Flint was about to be married to
• 3:04:45
  a lady of his own stamp. I foresaw the position I should occupy in
• 3:04:48
  his establishment. I had once been sent to the plantation for punishment, and
• 3:04:54
  fear of the son had induced the father to recall me. Very soon.
• 3:04:56
  My mind was made up. I was resolved that I would foil my master
• 3:05:01
  and save my children, or I would perish in the attempt. I kept
• 3:05:05
  my plans to myself. I knew that friends would try to dissuade me from
• 3:05:09
  them, and I would not wound their feelings by rejecting their advice. On
• 3:05:13
  the decisive day, the doctor came and said he hoped I had made a
• 3:05:16
  wise choice. I am ready to go to the plantation, Sir, I
• 3:05:20
  replied, have you thought how important your decision is to your children? Said
• 3:05:26
  he? I told him I had very well go to the plantation, and
• 3:05:31
  my curse go with you. He replied, your boy shall be put to
• 3:05:35
  work, and he shall soon be sold, and your girl should be raised
• 3:05:39
  for the purpose of selling. Well, go your own ways. He left
• 3:05:43
  the room with curses not to be repeated. As I stood rooted to the
• 3:05:48
  spot, my grandmother came and said, Linda, child, what did you
• 3:05:52
  tell him? I answered that I was going to the plantation. Must you
• 3:05:56
  go, said she can't something be done to say stop it. I told
• 3:06:01
  her it was useless to try, but she begged me not to give up.
• 3:06:05
  She said she would go to the doctor and remind him how long and
• 3:06:07
  how faithfully she had served in the family, and how she had taken her
• 3:06:11
  own baby from her breast to nourish his wife. She would tell him I
• 3:06:15
  had been out of the family so long they would not miss me, that
• 3:06:18
  she would pay them for my time, and the money would procure a woman
• 3:06:20
  who had more strength for the situation than I had. I begged her not
• 3:06:24
  to go, but she persisted in saying, he will listen to me,
• 3:06:28
  Linda. She went and was treated as I expected. He coolly listened to
• 3:06:33
  what she said, but denied her request. He told her that what he
• 3:06:37
  did was for my good, that my feelings were entirely above my situation,
• 3:06:41
  and that on the plantation I would receive treatment that was suitable to my behavior.
• 3:06:46
  My grandmother was much cast down. I had my secret hopes, but
• 3:06:50
  I must fight my battle alone. I had a woman's pride and a mother's
• 3:06:54
  love for my children, and I resolved that out of the darkness of this
• 3:06:58
  hour, a bright dawn should rise for them. My master had power and
• 3:07:03
  law on his side. I had a determined will. There is might in
• 3:07:07
  each end of chapter fifteen Chapter sixteen scenes at the plantation. Early the next
• 3:07:18
  morning, I left my grandmother's with my youngest child. My boy was ill,
• 3:07:24
  and I left him behind. I had many sad thoughts as the old
• 3:07:28
  wagon jolted on hitherto I had suffered alone. Now my little one was to
• 3:07:33
  be treated as a slave. As we drew near the Great House, I
• 3:07:37
  thought of the time when I was formerly sent there out of revenge. I
• 3:07:41
  wondered for what purpose I was now sent I could not tell. I resolved
• 3:07:48
  to obey orders so far as duty required. But within myself I determined to
• 3:07:52
  make my stay as short as possible. Mister Flint was waiting to receive us,
• 3:07:56
  and told me to follow him upstairs to receive orders for the day.
• 3:08:01
  My little Ellen was left below in the kitchen. It was a change for
• 3:08:05
  her, who had been always so carefully tended. My young master said she
• 3:08:09
  might amuse herself in the yard. This was kind of him, since the
• 3:08:13
  child was hateful to his sight. My task was to fit up the house
• 3:08:18
  for the reception, of the bride in the midst of sheets, tablecloths,
• 3:08:22
  towels, drapery and carpeting. My head was as busy planning as were my
• 3:08:26
  fingers with the needle. At noon I was allowed to go to Ellen.
• 3:08:31
  She had sobbed herself to sleep. I heard mister Flint say to a neighbor,
• 3:08:35
  I've got her down here, and I'll soon take the town notions out
• 3:08:39
  of her head. My father is partly to blame for her nonsense. He
• 3:08:43
  ought to have broke her and long ago. The remark was made within my
• 3:08:48
  hearing, and it would have been quite as manly to have made it to
• 3:08:50
  my face. He had said things to my face which might or might not
• 3:08:54
  have surprised his neighbor if he had known of them. He was a chip
• 3:08:58
  off the old block. I resolved to give him no cause to recuse me
• 3:09:03
  of being too much of a lady. So far as work was concerned,
• 3:09:07
  I worked day and night with wretchedness before me. When I lay down beside
• 3:09:11
  my child, I felt how much easier it would be to see her die
• 3:09:16
  than to see her master beat her about as I daily saw him beat other
• 3:09:20
  little ones. The spirit of the mothers was so crushed by the lash that
• 3:09:24
  they stood by, without courage to remonstrate how much more must I suffer before
• 3:09:28
  I should be broke in to that degree, I wished to appear as contented
• 3:09:33
  as possible. Sometimes I had an opportunity to send a few lines home,
• 3:09:39
  and this brought up recollections that made it difficult for a time to seem calm
• 3:09:43
  and indifferent to my lot. Notwithstanding my efforts, I saw that mister Flint
• 3:09:48
  regarded me with a suspicious eye. Ellen broke down under the trials of her
• 3:09:54
  new life. Separated from me, with no one to look after her,
• 3:09:58
  she wandered about and in a few days cried herself sick. One day she
• 3:10:03
  sat under the window where I was at work, crying that weary cry which
• 3:10:07
  makes a mother's heart bleed. I was obliged to steel myself to bear it.
• 3:10:11
  After a while it ceased. I looked out, and she was gone.
• 3:10:16
  As it was near noon, I ventured to go down in search of
• 3:10:20
  her. The great house was raised two feet above the ground. I looked
• 3:10:24
  under it and saw her about midway, fast asleep. I crept under and
• 3:10:28
  drew her out. As I held her in my arms, I thought how
• 3:10:31
  well, it would be for her if she never waked up, and I
• 3:10:35
  uttered my thought aloud. I was startled to hear some one say, did
• 3:10:39
  you speak to me? I looked up and saw mister Flint standing beside me.
• 3:10:45
  He said nothing further, but turned frowning away. That night he sent
• 3:10:50
  Ellen a biscuit and a cup of sweetened milk. This generosity surprised me.
• 3:10:56
  I learned afterwards that in the afternoon he had killed a large snake which crept
• 3:11:00
  from under the house, and I supposed that incident had prompted his unusual kindness.
• 3:11:05
  The next morning, the old cart was loaded with shingles for town.
• 3:11:09
  I put Ellen into it and sent her to her grandmother. Mister Flint said,
• 3:11:13
  I ought to have asked his permission. I told him the child was
• 3:11:16
  sick and required attention, which I had no time to give. He let
• 3:11:20
  it pass, for he was aware that I had accomplished much work in a
• 3:11:24
  little time. I had been three weeks on the plantation when I planned a
• 3:11:28
  visit home. It must be at night, after everybody was in bed.
• 3:11:33
  I was six miles from town, and the road was very dreary. I
• 3:11:37
  was to go with a young man who I knew often, stole to town
• 3:11:39
  to see his mother. One night, when all was quiet, we started.
• 3:11:45
  Fear gave speed to our steps, and we were not long in performing
• 3:11:48
  the journey. I arrived at my grandmother's. Her bedroom was on the first
• 3:11:52
  floor, and the window was open, the weather being warm. I spoke
• 3:11:56
  to her and she awoke. She let me in and close the wind window
• 3:12:00
  lest some late passer by should see me. A light was brought, and
• 3:12:03
  the whole household gathered round me, some smiling and some crying. I went
• 3:12:09
  to look at my children and thanked God for their happy sleep. The tears
• 3:12:13
  fell as I leaned over them. As I moved to leave, Benny stirred.
• 3:12:18
  I turned back and whispered, mother is here. After digging at his
• 3:12:24
  eyes with his little fist, they opened, and he sat up in bed,
• 3:12:26
  looking at me curiously. Having satisfied himself that it was I, he
• 3:12:31
  exclaimed, Oh Mother, you ain't dead, are you. They didn't cut
• 3:12:35
  off your head at the plantation, did they. My time was up too
• 3:12:39
  soon, and my guide was waiting for me. I laid Benny back in
• 3:12:43
  his bed and dried his tears by a promise to come again soon. Rapidly
• 3:12:48
  we retraced our steps back to the plantation. About half way we were met
• 3:12:52
  by a company of four patrols. Luckily we heard their horses hoofs before they
• 3:12:58
  came in sight, and we had time to hide behind a large tree.
• 3:13:01
  They passed, hallooing and shouting in a manner that indicated a recent carousal.
• 3:13:07
  How thankful we were that they had not their dogs with them. We hastened
• 3:13:11
  our footsteps, and when we arrived on the plantation we heard the sound of
• 3:13:13
  the handmill. The slaves were grinding their corn. We were safely in the
• 3:13:18
  house before the horn summoned them to their labor. I divided my little parcel
• 3:13:22
  of food with my guide, knowing that he had lost the chance of grinding
• 3:13:26
  his corn and must toil all day in the field. Mister Flint often took
• 3:13:31
  an inspection of the house to see that no one was idle. The entire
• 3:13:37
  management of the work was trusted to me, because he knew nothing about it,
• 3:13:41
  and rather than hire a superintendent, he contented himself with my arrangements.
• 3:13:46
  He had often urged upon his father the necessity of having me at the plantation
• 3:13:48
  to take charge of his affairs. And make clothes for the slaves. But
• 3:13:52
  the old man knew him too well to consent to that arrangement. When I
• 3:13:58
  had been working a month at the plantation, the great aunt of mister Flint
• 3:14:01
  came to make him a visit. This was the good old lady who paid
• 3:14:05
  fifty dollars for my grandmother for the purpose of making her free when she stood
• 3:14:09
  on the auction block. My grandmother loved this old lady, whom we all
• 3:14:13
  called Miss Fanny. She often came to take tea with us. On such
• 3:14:18
  occasions, the table was spread with the snow white cloth, and the china
• 3:14:22
  cups and silver spoons were taken from the old fashioned buffet. There were hot
• 3:14:26
  muffins, tea rusks, and delicious sweetmeats. My grandmother kept two cows,
• 3:14:31
  and the fresh cream was Miss Fanny's delight. She invariably declared that it was
• 3:14:35
  the best in town. The old ladies had cozy times together. They would
• 3:14:41
  work and chat, and sometimes while talking over old times, their spectacles would
• 3:14:46
  get dim with tears and would have to be taken off and wiped. When
• 3:14:50
  Miss Fanny bade us good bye, her bag was filled with grandmother's best cakes,
• 3:14:54
  and she was urged to come again soon. There had been a time
• 3:14:56
  when Doctor Flint's wife came to take tea with us, and when her children
• 3:15:01
  were also sent to have a feast of Aunt Marthy's nice cooking. But after
• 3:15:05
  I became an object of her jealousy and spite, she was angry with Grandmother
• 3:15:09
  for giving a shelter to me and my children. She would not even speak
• 3:15:13
  to her in the street. This wounded my grandmother's feelings, for she could
• 3:15:16
  not retain ill will against the woman whom she had nourished with her milk when
• 3:15:20
  a babe. The doctor's wife would gladly have prevented our intercourse with Miss Fanny
• 3:15:24
  if she could have done it. But fortunately she was not dependent on the
• 3:15:28
  bounty of the Flints. She had enough to be independent, and that is
• 3:15:33
  more than can ever be gained from charity, however lavish it may be.
• 3:15:37
  Miss Fanny was endeared to me by many recollections, and I was rejoiced to
• 3:15:41
  see her at the plantation. The warmth of her large, loyal heart made
• 3:15:46
  the house seem pleasanter while she was in it. She stayed a week,
• 3:15:50
  and I had many talks with her. She said her principal object in coming
• 3:15:54
  was to see how I was treated and whether anything could be done for me.
• 3:15:58
  She inquired whether she could help me in any way. I told her
• 3:16:01
  I believed not. She condoled with me in her own peculiar way, saying
• 3:16:05
  she wished that I and all my grandmother's family were at rest in our graves,
• 3:16:11
  for not until then should she feel any peace about us. The good
• 3:16:15
  old soul did not dream that I was planning to bestow peace upon her with
• 3:16:18
  regard to myself and my children, not by death, but by securing our
• 3:16:24
  freedom. Again and again. I had traversed those dreary twelve miles to and
• 3:16:30
  from the town, and all the way I was meditating upon some means of
• 3:16:33
  escape for myself and my children. My friends had made every effort that ingenuity
• 3:16:39
  could devise to effect our purchase, but all their plans had proved abortive.
• 3:16:43
  Doctor Flint was suspicious and determined not to loosen his grasp upon us. I
• 3:16:48
  could have made my escape alone, but it was more for my helpless children
• 3:16:52
  than for myself that I longed for freedom. Though the boon would have been
• 3:16:56
  precious to me above all price, I would not have taken it at the
• 3:17:00
  expense of leaving them in slavery. Every trial I endured, every sacrifice I
• 3:17:05
  made for their sakes, drew them closer to my heart and gave me fresh
• 3:17:09
  courage to beat back the dark waves that rolled and rolled over me in a
• 3:17:13
  seemingly endless night of storms. The six weeks were nearly completed when mister Flint's
• 3:17:20
  bride was expected to take possession of her new home. The arrangements were all
• 3:17:24
  completed, and mister Flint said I had done well. He expected to leave
• 3:17:28
  home on Saturday and return with his bride the following Wednesday. After receiving various
• 3:17:33
  orders from him, I ventured to ask permission to spend Sunday in town.
• 3:17:37
  It was granted, for which favor I was thankful. It was the first
• 3:17:41
  I had ever asked of him, and I intended it should be the last.
• 3:17:45
  I needed more than one night to accomplish the project I had in view,
• 3:17:48
  but the whole of Sunday would give me an opportunity. I spent the
• 3:17:52
  Sabbath with my grandmother. A calmer, more beautiful day never came down out
• 3:17:56
  of heaven to me. It was the day of conflicting emotions. Perhaps it
• 3:18:01
  was the last day I should ever spend under that dear, old, sheltering
• 3:18:05
  roof. Perhaps these were the last talks I should ever have with the faithful
• 3:18:09
  old friend of my whole life. Perhaps it was the last time I and
• 3:18:13
  my children should be together. Well, better so I thought, than that
• 3:18:18
  they should be slaves. I knew the doom that awaited my fair baby in
• 3:18:22
  slavery, and I determined to save her from it, or perish in the
• 3:18:26
  attempt. I went to make this vow at the graves of my poor parents,
• 3:18:31
  in the burying ground of the slaves. There the wicked cease from troubling,
• 3:18:35
  and there the weary be at rest. There the prisoners rest together.
• 3:18:41
  They hear not the voices of the oppressor. The servant is free from his
• 3:18:46
  master. I knelt by the graves of my parents and thanked God, as
• 3:18:50
  I had often done before, that they had not lived to witness my trials
• 3:18:56
  or to mourn over my sins. I had received my mother's blessings. She
• 3:19:00
  died, and in many an hour of tribulation I had seemed to hear her
• 3:19:03
  voice, sometimes chiding me, sometimes whispering loving words into my wounded heart.
• 3:19:09
  I have shed many and bitter tears to think that when I am gone from
• 3:19:13
  my children, they cannot remember me with such entire satisfaction as I remembered my
• 3:19:18
  mother. The graveyard was in the woods, and twilight was coming on.
• 3:19:22
  Nothing broke the deathlike stillness, except the occasional twitter of a bird. My
• 3:19:28
  spirit was overawed by the solemnity of the scene. For more than ten years
• 3:19:31
  I had frequented this spot, but never had it seemed to me so sacred
• 3:19:35
  as now. A black stump at the head of my mother's grave was all
• 3:19:39
  that remained of a tree my father had planted. His grave was marked by
• 3:19:43
  a small wooden board bearing his name, the letters of which were nearly all
• 3:19:48
  obliterated. I knelt down and kissed them, and poured forth a prayer to
• 3:19:52
  God for guidance and support in the perilous step I was about to take.
• 3:19:58
  As I passed the wreck of the old meeting house, where before Nat Turner's
• 3:20:01
  time the slaves had been allowed to meet for worship, I seemed to hear
• 3:20:05
  my father's voice come from it, bidding me not to tarry till I reached
• 3:20:09
  freedom or the grave. I rushed on with renovated hopes. My trust in
• 3:20:13
  God had been strengthened by that prayer among the graves. My plan was to
• 3:20:18
  conceal myself at the house of a friend and remain there a few weeks till
• 3:20:22
  the search was over. My hope was that the doctor would get discouraged,
• 3:20:26
  and for fear of losing my value and also of subsequently finding my children among
• 3:20:30
  the missing, he would consent to sell us, and I knew somebody would
• 3:20:33
  buy us. I had done all in my power to make my children comfortable
• 3:20:37
  during the time I expected to be separated from them. I was packing my
• 3:20:41
  things when grandmother came into the room and asked what I was doing. I
• 3:20:46
  am putting my things in order, I replied. I tried to look and
• 3:20:50
  speak cheerfully, but her watchful eye detected something beneath the surface. She drew
• 3:20:54
  me towards her and asked me to sit down. She looked earnestly at me
• 3:20:58
  and said, Linda, do you want to kill your old grandmother? Do
• 3:21:03
  you mean to leave your little helpless children? I am old now and cannot
• 3:21:05
  do for your babies as I once did for you. I replied that if
• 3:21:09
  I went away, perhaps their father would be able to secure their freedom,
• 3:21:15
  ah, my child said she don't trust too much to him. Stand by
• 3:21:20
  your own children and suffer with them till death. Nobody respects a mother who
• 3:21:24
  forsakes her children. And if you leave them, you will never have a
• 3:21:26
  happy moment. If you go, you will make me miserable. The short
• 3:21:30
  time I have to live, you would be taken and brought back, and
• 3:21:33
  your sufferings would be dreadful. Remember, poor Benjamin. Do give it up,
• 3:21:37
  Linda, Try to bear a little longer. Things may turn out better
• 3:21:41
  than we expect. My courage failed me in view of the sorrow I should
• 3:21:46
  bring on that faithful, loving old heart. I promised I would try longer,
• 3:21:50
  and that I would take nothing out of her house without her knowledge.
• 3:21:54
  Whenever the children climbed on my knee or laid their heads on my lap,
• 3:21:58
  she would say, poor little souls, what would you do without a mother?
• 3:22:03
  She doesn't love you as I do, And she would hug them to
• 3:22:07
  her own bosom, as if to reproach me for my want of affection.
• 3:22:11
  But she knew all the while that I loved them better than my life.
• 3:22:13
  I slept with her that night, and it was the last time. The
• 3:22:18
  memory of it haunted me for many a year. On Monday, I returned
• 3:22:22
  to the plantation and busied myself with preparations for the important day. Wednesday came.
• 3:22:28
  It was a beautiful day, and the faces of the slaves were as
• 3:22:31
  bright as the sunshine. The poor creatures were merry. They were expecting little
• 3:22:35
  presents from the bride and hoping for better times under her administration. I had
• 3:22:41
  no such hopes for them. I knew that the young wives of slave holders
• 3:22:43
  often thought their authority and importance would be best established and maintained by cruelty.
• 3:22:50
  And what I had heard of young Missus Flint gave me no reason to expect
• 3:22:52
  that her rule over them would be less severe than that of the master and
• 3:22:56
  overseer. Truly, the colored race are the most cheery, full and forgiving
• 3:23:00
  people on the face of the earth. That their master's sleep in safety is
• 3:23:03
  owing to their superabundance of heart. And yet they look upon their sufferings with
• 3:23:09
  less pity than they would bestow on those of a horse or a dog.
• 3:23:13
  I stood at the door with others to receive the bridegroom and bride. She
• 3:23:16
  was a handsome, delicate looking girl, and her face flushed with a motion.
• 3:23:20
  At sight of her new home, I thought it likely that visions of
• 3:23:24
  a happy future were rising before her. It made me sad, for I
• 3:23:28
  knew how soon clouds would come over her sunshine. She examined every part of
• 3:23:31
  the house and told me she was delighted with the arrangements I had made.
• 3:23:35
  I was afraid old Missus Flint had tried to prejudice her against me, and
• 3:23:39
  I did my best to please her. All passed off smoothly for me until
• 3:23:43
  dinner time arrived. I did not mind the embarrassment of waiting on a dinner
• 3:23:46
  party for the first time in my life half so much as I did the
• 3:23:50
  meeting with doctor Flint and his wife, who would be among the guests.
• 3:23:54
  It was a mystery to me why Missus Flint had not made her appearance at
• 3:23:58
  the plantation during all the time I was putting the house in order. I
• 3:24:01
  had not met her face to face for five years, and I had no
• 3:24:05
  wish to see her now. She was a praying woman and doubtless considered my
• 3:24:09
  present position a special answer to her prayers. Nothing could please her better than
• 3:24:13
  to see me humbled and trampled upon. I was just where she would have
• 3:24:18
  me in the power of a hard, unprincipled master. She did not speak
• 3:24:22
  to me when she took her seat at table, but her satisfied, triumphant
• 3:24:26
  smile when I handed her plate was more eloquent than words. The old doctor
• 3:24:31
  was not so quiet in his demonstrations. He ordered me here and there,
• 3:24:35
  and spoke with peculiar emphasis when he said, your mistress. I was drilled
• 3:24:41
  like a disgraced soldier. When all was over and the last key turned,
• 3:24:45
  I sought my pillow, thankful that God had appointed a season of rest for
• 3:24:48
  the weary. The next day my new mistress began her housekeeping. I was
• 3:24:54
  not exactly appointed maid of all work, but I was to do whatever I
• 3:24:58
  was told. Monday evening came. It was always a busy time. On
• 3:25:03
  that night the slaves received their weekly allowance of food. Three pounds of meat,
• 3:25:07
  a peck of corn, and perhaps a dozen herring were allowed to each
• 3:25:11
  man. Women received a pound and a half of meat, a peck of
• 3:25:15
  corn, and the same number of herring. Children over twelve years old had
• 3:25:18
  half the allowance of the women. The meat was cut and weighed by the
• 3:25:22
  foreman of the field hands and piled on planks before the meat house. Then
• 3:25:26
  the second foreman went behind the building, and when the first foreman called out,
• 3:25:31
  who takes this piece of meat, he answered by calling somebody's name.
• 3:25:35
  This method was resorted to as a means of preventing partiality in distributing the meat.
• 3:25:41
  The young mistress came out to see how things were done on her plantation,
• 3:25:43
  and she soon gave a specimen of her character. Among those in waiting
• 3:25:48
  for their allowance was a very old slave who had faithfully served the Flint family
• 3:25:52
  through three generations. When he hobbled up to get his bit of meat,
• 3:25:56
  the mistress said he was too old to have any allowance, that when the
• 3:26:00
  niggers were too old to work, they ought to be fed on grass.
• 3:26:03
  Poor old man, he suffered much before he found rest in the grave.
• 3:26:09
  My mistress and I got along very well together. At the end of a
• 3:26:11
  week, old Missus Flint made us another visit and was closeted a long time
• 3:26:16
  with her daughter in law. I had my suspicion what was the subject of
• 3:26:20
  the conference. The old doctor's wife had been informed that I could leave the
• 3:26:24
  plantation on one condition, and she was very desirous to keep me there.
• 3:26:28
  If she had trusted me as I deserved to be trusted by her, she
• 3:26:31
  would have had no fears of my accepting that condition. When she entered her
• 3:26:35
  carriage to return home, she said to young missus Flint, don't neglect to
• 3:26:39
  send for them as quick as possible. My heart was on the watch all
• 3:26:43
  the time, and I at once concluded that she spoke of my children.
• 3:26:48
  The doctor came the next day, and as I entered the room to spread
• 3:26:52
  the tea table, I heard him say, don't wait any longer, send
• 3:26:56
  for them tomorrow. I saw through the plan. They thought my children's being
• 3:27:00
  there would fetter me to the spot, and that it was a good place
• 3:27:03
  to break us all in to abject submission to our lot as slaves. After
• 3:27:07
  the doctor left, a gentleman called, who had always manifested friendly feelings towards
• 3:27:13
  my grandmother and her family. Mister Flint carried him over the plantation to show
• 3:27:18
  him the results of labor performed by men and women who were unpaid, miserably
• 3:27:22
  clothed, and half famished. The cotton crop was all they thought of.
• 3:27:26
  It was duly admired, and the gentleman returned with specimens to show his friend.
• 3:27:31
  I was ordered to carry water to wash his hands. As I did
• 3:27:35
  so, he said, Linda, how do you like your new home.
• 3:27:39
  I told him I liked it as well as I expected. He replied,
• 3:27:43
  they don't think you are contented, and tomorrow they are going to bring your
• 3:27:46
  children to be with you. I am sorry for you, Linda. I
• 3:27:50
  hope they will treat you kindly. I hurried from the room, unable to
• 3:27:54
  thank him. My suspicions were correct. My children were to be brought to
• 3:27:58
  the plantation and to be broke in. To this day, I feel grateful
• 3:28:03
  to the gentlemen who gave me this timely information. It nerved me to immediate
• 3:28:09
  action. End of Chapter sixteen, Chapter seventeen the flight. Mister Flint was
• 3:28:18
  hard pushed for house servants, and rather than lose me, he had restrained
• 3:28:22
  his malice. I did my work faithfully, though not of course, with
• 3:28:26
  a willing mind. They were evidently afraid I should leave them. Mister Flint
• 3:28:31
  wished that I should sleep in the great house instead of the servants quarters.
• 3:28:35
  His wife agreed to the proposition, but said I mustn't bring my bed into
• 3:28:37
  the house because it would scatter feathers on her carpet. I knew when I
• 3:28:41
  went there that they would never think of such a thing as furnishing a bed
• 3:28:46
  of any kind for me in my little ones. I therefore carried my own
• 3:28:50
  bed, and now I was forbidden to use it. I did as I
• 3:28:52
  was ordered. But now that I was certain my children were to be put
• 3:28:56
  in their power in order to give them a stronger hold on me, I
• 3:29:00
  resolved to leave them that night. I remembered the grief this step would bring
• 3:29:03
  upon my dear old grandmother, and nothing less than the freedom of my children
• 3:29:07
  would have induced me to disregard her advice. I went about my evening work
• 3:29:11
  with trembling steps. Mister Flint twice called from his chamber door to inquire why
• 3:29:16
  the house was not locked up. I replied that I had not done my
• 3:29:20
  work. You have had enough time to do it, said he. Take
• 3:29:24
  care how you answer me. I shut all the windows, locked all the
• 3:29:28
  doors, and went up to the third story to wait till midnight. How
• 3:29:33
  long those hours seemed, and how fervently I prayed that God would not forsake
• 3:29:37
  me in this hour of utmost need. I was about to risk everything on
• 3:29:41
  the throw of a die, and if I failed, Oh what would become
• 3:29:45
  of me and my poor children? They would be made to suffer for my
• 3:29:48
  fault. At half past twelve, I stole softly down the stairs. I
• 3:29:52
  stopped on the second floor, thinking I heard a noise. I felt my
• 3:29:56
  way down into the parlor and looked out of the window. The night was
• 3:30:01
  so intensely dark that I could see nothing. I raised the window very softly
• 3:30:05
  and jumped out. Large drops of rain were falling, and the darkness bewildered
• 3:30:09
  me. I dropped on my knees and breathed a short prayer to God for
• 3:30:13
  guidance and protection. I groped my way to the road and rushed towards the
• 3:30:18
  town with almost lightning speed. I arrived at my grandmother's house, but dared
• 3:30:22
  not see her. She would say, Linda, you are killing me,
• 3:30:26
  and I knew that would unnerve me. I tapped softly at the window of
• 3:30:31
  a room occupied by a woman who had lived in the house several years.
• 3:30:35
  I knew she was a faithful friend and could be trusted with my secret.
• 3:30:37
  I tapped several times before she heard me. At last, she raised the
• 3:30:41
  window and I whispered, Sallie, I have run away. Let me in
• 3:30:46
  quickly. She opened the door softly and said, in low tones, for
• 3:30:50
  God's sake, don't your grandmother is trying to buy you and the children.
• 3:30:54
  Mister Sands was here last week. He told her he was going away on
• 3:30:58
  business, but he wanted her to go ahead about buying you and the children,
• 3:31:01
  and he would help her all he could. Don't run away, Linda,
• 3:31:05
  your grandmother's all bound down with trouble now, I replied, Sally.
• 3:31:09
  They are going to carry my children to the plantation tomorrow, and they will
• 3:31:13
  never sell them to anybody so long as they have me in their power.
• 3:31:16
  Now, would you advise me to go back? No child, No,
• 3:31:20
  answered she. When they finds who's gone, they won't want to plague of
• 3:31:24
  the children. But where's you gonna hide? They knows every inch of this
• 3:31:26
  house. I told her I had a hiding place, and that was all
• 3:31:31
  it was best for her to know. I asked her to go into my
• 3:31:33
  room as soon as it was light and take all my clothes out of my
• 3:31:37
  trunk and pack them in hers. For I knew mister Flint and the Constable
• 3:31:39
  would be there early to search my room. I feared the sight of the
• 3:31:43
  children would be too much for my full heart. But I could not go
• 3:31:46
  into the uncertain future without one last look. I bent over the bed where
• 3:31:52
  lay my little Benny and baby Ellen, poor little ones, fatherless and motherless.
• 3:31:58
  Memories of their father came over me. He wanted to be kind to
• 3:32:01
  them, but they were not all to him as they were to my womanly
• 3:32:05
  heart. I knelt and prayed for the innocent little sleepers. I kissed them
• 3:32:09
  lightly and turned away. As I was about to open the street door,
• 3:32:15
  Sallie laid her hand on my shoulder and said, Linda, is you gwine
• 3:32:18
  all alone? Let me call your uncle. No, Sallie, I replied,
• 3:32:22
  I want no one to be brought into trouble on my account. I
• 3:32:26
  went forth into the darkness and rain. I ran on till I came to
• 3:32:31
  the house of the friend who was to conceal me. Early the next morning,
• 3:32:35
  mister Flint was at my grandmother's inquiring for me. She told him she
• 3:32:39
  had not seen me, and supposed I was at the plantation. He watched
• 3:32:43
  her face narrowly and said, don't you know anything about her running off?
• 3:32:48
  She assured him that she did not. He went on to say last night
• 3:32:52
  she ran off without the least provocation. We had treated her very kindly.
• 3:32:56
  My wife liked her. She will soon be found and brought back or her
• 3:33:00
  children with you. When told that they were, he said, I'm very
• 3:33:03
  glad to hear that. If they are here, she cannot be far off.
• 3:33:07
  If I find out that any of my niggers have had anything to do
• 3:33:09
  with this damned business, I'll give him five hundred lashes. As he started
• 3:33:13
  to go to his father's, he turned round and added, persuasively, let
• 3:33:18
  her be brought back, and she shall have her children to live with her.
• 3:33:22
  The tidings made the old doctor rave and storm at a furious rate.
• 3:33:26
  It was a busy day for them. My grandmother's house was searched from top
• 3:33:30
  to bottom. As my trunk was empty, they concluded I had taken my
• 3:33:33
  clothes with me. Before ten o'clock, every vessel northward bound was thoroughly examined,
• 3:33:39
  and the law against harboring fugitives was read to all on board. At
• 3:33:43
  night, a watch was set over the town. Knowing how distressed my grandmother
• 3:33:46
  would be, I wanted to send her a message, but it could not
• 3:33:50
  be done. Every one who went in and out of her house was closely
• 3:33:54
  watched. The doctor said he would take my children unless she became responsible for
• 3:33:58
  them, which of course she willly did. The next day was spent in
• 3:34:01
  searching. Before night, the following advertisement was posted at every corner and in
• 3:34:07
  every public place for miles. Around three hundred dollars reward ran away from the
• 3:34:11
  subscriber. An intelligent, bright mulatto girl named Linda, twenty one years of
• 3:34:16
  age, five feet four inches high, dark eyes and black hair, inclined
• 3:34:20
  to curl, but it can be made straight. Has a decayed spot on
• 3:34:24
  a front tooth. She can read and write, and in all probability will
• 3:34:28
  try to get to the Free States. All persons are forbidden, under penalty
• 3:34:31
  of law to harbor or employ said slave. A hundred and fifty dollars will
• 3:34:35
  be given to whoever takes her in the state, and three hundred dollars,
• 3:34:39
  if taken out of the state and delivered to me, were lodged in jail,
• 3:34:43
  Doctor Flint, end of Chapter seventeen, Chapter eighteen, Months of Peril.
• 3:34:52
  The search for me was kept up with more perseverance than I had anticipated.
• 3:34:56
  I began to think that escape was impossible. I was in great anxiety
• 3:35:01
  lest I should implicate the friend who harbored me. I knew the consequences would
• 3:35:05
  be frightful, and much as I dreaded being caught, even that seemed better
• 3:35:09
  than causing an innocent person to suffer for kindness to me. A week had
• 3:35:15
  passed in terrible suspense when my pursuers came into such close vicinity that I concluded
• 3:35:20
  they had tracked me to my hiding place. I flew out of the house
• 3:35:22
  and concealed myself in a thicket of bushes. There I remained in an agony
• 3:35:28
  of fear for two hours. Suddenly, a reptile of some kind seized my
• 3:35:31
  leg. In my fright, I struck a blow which loosened its hold,
• 3:35:35
  but I could not tell whether I had killed it. It was so dark
• 3:35:39
  I could not see what it was. I only knew it was something cold
• 3:35:41
  and slimy. The pain I felt soon indicated that the bite was poisonous.
• 3:35:46
  I was compelled to leave my place of concealment, and I groped my way
• 3:35:50
  back into the house. The pain had become intense, and my friend was
• 3:35:54
  startled by my look of anguish. I asked her to prepare a poultice of
• 3:35:58
  warm ashes and vinegar, and I applied it to my leg, which was
• 3:36:01
  already much swollen. The application gave me some relief, but the swelling did
• 3:36:07
  not abate. The dread of being disabled was greater than the physical pain I
• 3:36:11
  endured. My friend asked an old woman who doctored among the slaves, what
• 3:36:15
  was good for the bite of a snake or lizard. She told her to
• 3:36:18
  steep a dozen coppers in vinegar over night and apply the cankered vinegar to the
• 3:36:22
  inflamed part Footnote one. The poison of a snake is a powerful acid and
• 3:36:28
  is counteracted by powerful alkalies such as potash, ammonia, et cetera. The
• 3:36:33
  Indians are accustomed to apply wet ashes or plunge the limb into a strong lye
• 3:36:39
  White men employed to lay out railroads in snaky places often carry ammonia with them
• 3:36:45
  as an antidote. Editor I had succeeded in cautiously conveying some messages to my
• 3:36:52
  relatives. They were harshly threatened, and despairing of my having a chance to
• 3:36:56
  escape, they advised me to return to my master ask his forget giveness had
• 3:37:00
  let him make an example of me, But such counsel had no influence with
• 3:37:05
  me. When I started upon this hazardous undertaking, I had resolved that come
• 3:37:09
  what would, there should be no turning back. Give me liberty or give
• 3:37:13
  me death, was my motto. When my friend contrived to make known to
• 3:37:18
  my relatives the painful situation I had been in for twenty four hours, they
• 3:37:22
  said no more about my going back to my master. Something must be done,
• 3:37:26
  and that speedily. But where to return for help? They knew.
• 3:37:30
  Not. God, in his mercy, raised up a friend in need.
• 3:37:33
  Among the ladies who were acquainted with my grandmother was one who had known her
• 3:37:37
  from childhood and always been very friendly to her. She had also known my
• 3:37:41
  mother and her children and felt interested for them. At this crisis of affairs.
• 3:37:46
  She called to see my grandmother, as she not unfrequently did. She
• 3:37:50
  observed the sad and troubled expression of her face, and asked if she knew
• 3:37:54
  where Linda was and whether she was safe. My grandmother shook her head without
• 3:37:58
  answering. Come, aunt, Martha, said, the kind lady, tell
• 3:38:03
  me all about it. Perhaps I can do something to help you. The
• 3:38:07
  husband of this lady held many slaves and bought and sold slaves. She also
• 3:38:11
  held a number in her own name, but she treated them kindly and would
• 3:38:16
  never allow any of them to be sold. She was unlike the majority of
• 3:38:20
  slaveholders wives. My grandmother looked earnestly at her. Something in the expression of
• 3:38:24
  her face said trust me, and she did trust her. She listened attentively
• 3:38:30
  to the details of my story and sat thinking for a while. At last
• 3:38:33
  she said, Aunt Martha, I pity you both if you think there is
• 3:38:37
  any chance of Linda's getting to the Free States. I will conceal her for
• 3:38:41
  a time, But first you must solemnly promise that my name shall never be
• 3:38:46
  mentioned. If such a thing should become known, it would ruin me and
• 3:38:48
  my family. No one in my house must know of it, except the
• 3:38:52
  cook. She is so faithful that I would trust my own life with her,
• 3:38:56
  and I know she likes Linda. It is a great risk, but
• 3:39:00
  I trust no harm will come of it. Get word to Linda to be
• 3:39:03
  ready as soon as it is dark, before the patrols are out, I
• 3:39:05
  will send the housemaids on errands, and Betty shall go to meet Linda.
• 3:39:11
  The place where we were to meet was designated and agreed on my grandmother was
• 3:39:15
  unable to thank the lady for this noble deed, and overcome by her emotions,
• 3:39:18
  she sank on her knees and sobbed like a child. I received a
• 3:39:22
  message to leave my friend's house at such an hour and go to a certain
• 3:39:26
  place where a friend would be waiting for me. As a matter of prudence,
• 3:39:30
  no names were mentioned. I had no means of conjecturing who I was
• 3:39:33
  to meet or where I was going. I did not like to move thus
• 3:39:37
  blindfolded, but I had no choice. It would not do for me to
• 3:39:41
  remain where I was. I disguised myself, summoned up courage to meet the
• 3:39:45
  worst, and went to the appointed place. My friend Betty was there.
• 3:39:48
  She was the last person I expected to see. We hurried along in silence.
• 3:39:54
  The pain in my leg was so intense that it seemed as if I
• 3:39:56
  should drop, but fear gave me strength. We reached the house and entered.
• 3:40:00
  I observed Her first words were, honey, now you is safe.
• 3:40:05
  Demned devils ain't come and to search dis house. When I get you into
• 3:40:09
  missus safe place, I'll bring some nice hot supper a specs you needed after
• 3:40:13
  all the skeering Betty's vocation led her to think eating the most important thing in
• 3:40:16
  life. She did not realize that my heart was too full for me to
• 3:40:20
  care much about supper. The mistress came to meet us and led me upstairs
• 3:40:24
  to a small room over her own sleeping apartment. You will be safe here,
• 3:40:28
  Linda said she. I keep this room to store away things that are
• 3:40:33
  out of use. The girls are not accustomed to be sent to it,
• 3:40:35
  and they will not suspect anything unless they hear some noise. I always keep
• 3:40:39
  it locked, and Betty shall take care of the key. But you must
• 3:40:43
  be very careful for my sake as well as your own. And you must
• 3:40:46
  never tell my secret, for it would ruin me and my family. I
• 3:40:50
  will keep the girls busy in the morning that Betty may have a chance to
• 3:40:54
  bring your breakfast, but it will not do for her to come again to
• 3:40:56
  you until night. I will come to see you sometimes. Keep up your
• 3:41:01
  courage. I hope this state of things will not last long. Betty came
• 3:41:05
  with a nice, hot supper, and the Mistress hastened downstairs to keep things
• 3:41:09
  straight till she returned. How my heart overflowed with gratitude, words choked in
• 3:41:16
  my throat, but I could have kissed the feet of my benefactress for that
• 3:41:20
  deed of Christian womanhood. May God forever bless her. I went to sleep
• 3:41:24
  that night with the feeling that I was, for the present the most fortunate
• 3:41:28
  slave in town. Morning came and filled my little cell with light. I
• 3:41:33
  thanked the heavenly Father for this safe retreat. Opposite my window was a pile
• 3:41:37
  of feather beds. On top of these I could lie perfectly concealed and command
• 3:41:41
  a view of the street through which doctor Flint passed to his office. Anxious
• 3:41:46
  as I was, I felt a gleam of satisfaction when I saw him.
• 3:41:48
  Thus far I had outwitted him, and I triumphed over it. Who can
• 3:41:52
  blame slaves for being cunning? They are constantly compelled to resort to it.
• 3:41:58
  It is the only weapon of the week, and depressed against the strength of
• 3:42:01
  their tyrants, I was daily hoping to hear that my master had sold my
• 3:42:05
  children, for I knew who was on the watch to buy them. But
• 3:42:09
  doctor Flint cared even more for revenge than he did for money. My brother
• 3:42:13
  William and the good aunt, who had served in his family twenty years and
• 3:42:16
  My little Benny and Ellen, who was a little over two years old,
• 3:42:20
  were thrust into jail as a means of compelling my relatives to give some information
• 3:42:24
  about me. He swore my grandmother should never see one of them again till
• 3:42:28
  I was brought back. They kept these facts from me for several days.
• 3:42:33
  When I heard that my little ones were in a loathsome jail, my first
• 3:42:37
  impulse was to go to them. I was encountering dangers for the sake of
• 3:42:41
  freeing them, and must I be the cause of their death? The thought
• 3:42:46
  was agonizing. My benefactress tried to soothe me by telling me that my aunt
• 3:42:50
  would take good care of the children while they remained in jail. But it
• 3:42:54
  added to my pain to think that the good old aunt, who had always
• 3:42:56
  been so kind to her sister's orphan children, should be shut up in prison
• 3:43:01
  for no other crime than loving them. I suppose my friends feared a reckless
• 3:43:05
  movement on my part, knowing as they did that my life was bound up
• 3:43:09
  in my children. I received a note from my brother William. It was
• 3:43:13
  scarcely legible, and ran, thus, wherever you are, dear sister,
• 3:43:16
  I beg of you not to come here. We are all much better off
• 3:43:20
  than you are. If you come, you will ruin us all. They
• 3:43:24
  would force you to tell where you had been, or they would kill you.
• 3:43:26
  Take the advice of your friends. If not for the sake of me
• 3:43:30
  and your children, had least for the sake of those, you would ruin
• 3:43:33
  Poor William, he also must suffer for being my brother. I took his
• 3:43:39
  advice and kept quiet. My aunt was taken out of jail at the end
• 3:43:43
  of a month because Missus Flint could not spare her any longer. She was
• 3:43:48
  tired of being her own housekeeper. It was quite too fatiguing to order her
• 3:43:52
  dinner and eat it too. My children remained in jail, where brother William
• 3:43:56
  did all he could for their comfort. He went to see them sometimes and
• 3:44:01
  brought me tidings. She was not permitted to enter the jail, but William
• 3:44:05
  would hold them up to the grated window while she chatted with them. When
• 3:44:09
  she repeated their prattle and told me how they wanted to see their ma,
• 3:44:13
  my tears would flow. Old Betty would exclaim, lors child, what's you
• 3:44:18
  crying about? Dem Youngin's will kill you dead. Don't be so chicken hearted
• 3:44:22
  if you does you will never get through this world, good old soul.
• 3:44:26
  She had gone through the world childless. She had never had little ones to
• 3:44:31
  clasp their arms round her neck. She had never seen their soft eyes looking
• 3:44:35
  to hers. No sweet little voices had called her mother, and she had
• 3:44:39
  never pressed her own infants to her heart, with the feeling that even in
• 3:44:43
  fetters there was something to live for. How could she realize my feelings.
• 3:44:48
  Betty's husband loved children dearly and wondered why God had denied them to him.
• 3:44:54
  He expressed great sorrow when he came to Betty with the tidings that Ellen had
• 3:44:58
  been taken out of jail and carried doctor Flint's She had the measles a short
• 3:45:01
  time before they carried her to jail, and the disease had left her eyes
• 3:45:05
  affected. The doctor had taken her home to attend to them. My children
• 3:45:11
  had always been afraid of the doctor and his wife. They had never been
• 3:45:13
  inside of their house. Poor little Ellen cried all day to be carried back
• 3:45:18
  to prison. The instincts of childhood are true. She knew she was loved.
• 3:45:24
  In the jail, her screams and sobs annoyed missus Flint. Before night
• 3:45:28
  she called one of the slaves and said, here, Bill, carry this
• 3:45:31
  brat back to the jail. I can't stand her noise. If she would
• 3:45:35
  be quiet, I should like to keep the little minx. She would make
• 3:45:39
  a handy waiting maid for my daughter by and by. But if she stayed
• 3:45:43
  here with her white face, I suppose I should either kill her or spoil
• 3:45:46
  her. I hope the doctor will sell them as far as wind and water
• 3:45:50
  can carry them. As for their mother, her ladyship will find out.
• 3:45:54
  Yet what she gets by running away. She hasn't so much feeling for her
• 3:45:58
  children as a cow has for its calf. If she had, she would
• 3:46:01
  have come back long ago to get them out of jail and save all this
• 3:46:05
  expense and trouble the good for nothing hussy. When she is caught, she
• 3:46:09
  shall stay in jail in irons for one six months and then be sold with
• 3:46:13
  sugar plantation. I shall see her broke in. Yet, what do you
• 3:46:18
  stand there for? Bill? Why don't you go off with the brat?
• 3:46:22
  Mind now that you don't let any of the niggers speak to her in the
• 3:46:24
  street. When these remarks were reported to me, I smiled at missus Flint's
• 3:46:28
  saying that she should either kill my child or spoil her. I thought to
• 3:46:33
  myself, there was very little danger of the latter. I have always considered
• 3:46:37
  it as one of God's special providences that Ellen screamed till she was carried back
• 3:46:41
  to jail. That same night, doctor Flint was called to a patient and
• 3:46:46
  did not return till near morning. Passing my grandmother's he saw a light in
• 3:46:50
  the house and thought to himself, perhaps this has something to do with Linda.
• 3:46:54
  He knocked and the door was opened. What calls you up so early?
• 3:46:58
  Said he. I saw your life, and I thought I would just
• 3:47:01
  stop and tell you that I have found out where Linda is. I know
• 3:47:03
  where to put my hands on her, and I shall have her before twelve
• 3:47:07
  o'clock. When he had turned away, my grandmother and my uncle looked anxiously
• 3:47:11
  at each other. They did not know whether or not it was merely one
• 3:47:13
  of the doctor's tricks to frighten them. In their uncertainty, they thought it
• 3:47:18
  was best to have a message conveyed to my friend Betty. Unwilling to alarm
• 3:47:22
  her mistress, Betty resolved to dispose of me herself. She came to me
• 3:47:26
  and told me to rise and dress Quickly. We hurried downstairs and across the
• 3:47:31
  yard into the kitchen. She locked the door and lifted up a plank in
• 3:47:33
  the floor. A buffalo skin and a bit of carpet were spread for me
• 3:47:37
  to lie on and to quilt thrown over me. Stay there, she said,
• 3:47:41
  till I sees that they know about you. They say they will put
• 3:47:45
  their hands on you afore twelve o'clock. If they did know where you are,
• 3:47:48
  they won't know now. They'll be disappointed this time. That's all I
• 3:47:50
  got to say. If he comes rummaging among my things, dill get one
• 3:47:56
  breast sarsen from desire nigger and my shallow bed. I had but just room
• 3:48:01
  enough to bring my hands to my face and keep the dust out of my
• 3:48:03
  eyes. For Betty walked over me twenty times in an hour, passing from
• 3:48:07
  the dresser to the fireplace. When she was alone, I could hear her
• 3:48:11
  pronouncing anathemas over doctor Flint and all his tribe, every now and then saying,
• 3:48:15
  with a chuckling laugh, this nigger's too cute for him. This time.
• 3:48:20
  When the housemaids were about, she had sly ways of drawing them out
• 3:48:24
  that I might hear what they would say. She would repeat stories she had
• 3:48:26
  heard about my being in this or that or the other place, to which
• 3:48:30
  they would answer that I was not fool enough to be staying round there,
• 3:48:33
  that I was in Philadelphia or New York before this time. When all were
• 3:48:37
  abed and asleep, Betty raised the plank and said, come out, Child'll
• 3:48:41
  come out. They don't know nothing about you. Twas only white folks lies
• 3:48:46
  to skeered a niggers. Some days after this adventure, I had a much
• 3:48:50
  worse fright. As I sat very still in my retreat above stairs, tearful
• 3:48:54
  visions floated through my mind. I thought Doctor Flint would soon get to scour
• 3:49:00
  and would be willing to sell my children when he lost all hopes of making
• 3:49:03
  them the means of my discovery. I knew who was ready to buy them.
• 3:49:07
  Suddenly I heard a voice that chilled my blood. The sound was all
• 3:49:11
  too familiar to me. It had been too dreadful for me not to recognize
• 3:49:16
  at once my old master. He was in the house, and I at
• 3:49:20
  once concluded he had come to seize me. I looked round in terror.
• 3:49:24
  There was no way of escape. The voice receded. I supposed the constable
• 3:49:28
  was with him, and they were searching the house. In my alarm,
• 3:49:31
  I did not forget the trouble I was bringing on my generous benefactress. It
• 3:49:35
  seemed as if I were born to bring sorrow and all who befriended me.
• 3:49:39
  And that was the bitterest drop in the bitter cup of my life. After
• 3:49:43
  a while I heard approaching footsteps. The key was turned in the door.
• 3:49:48
  I braced myself against the wall to keep from falling. I ventured to look
• 3:49:52
  up, and there stood my kind benefactress alone. I was too much overcome
• 3:49:58
  to speak, and sunk down upon the floor. I thought you would hear
• 3:50:01
  your master's voice, she said, And knowing you would be terrified, I
• 3:50:05
  came to tell you there is nothing to fear. You may even indulge in
• 3:50:09
  a laugh at the old gentleman's expense. He is so sure you are in
• 3:50:13
  New York that he came to borrow five hundred dollars to go in pursuit of
• 3:50:16
  you. My sister had some money to loan on interest. He has obtained
• 3:50:20
  it and proposes to start for New York to night. So for the present,
• 3:50:24
  you see you are safe. The doctor will merely lighten his pocket,
• 3:50:26
  hunting after the bird he has left behind. End of Chapter eighteen, Chapter
• 3:50:35
  nineteen, the children sold. The doctor came back from New York, of
• 3:50:41
  course, without accomplishing his purpose. He had expended considerable money and was rather
• 3:50:46
  disheartened. My brother and the children had now been in jail two months,
• 3:50:50
  and that also was some expense. My friends thought it was a favorable time
• 3:50:54
  to work on his discouraged feelings. Mister Sands sent a speculator to offer him
• 3:50:58
  nine hundred dollars for my brother William and eight hundred for the two children.
• 3:51:03
  These were high prices, as slaves were then selling, but the offer was
• 3:51:07
  rejected. If it had been merely a question of money, the doctor would
• 3:51:11
  have sold any boy of Benny's age for two hundred dollars. But he could
• 3:51:13
  not bear to give up the power of revenge. But he was hard pressed
• 3:51:18
  for money, and he revolved the matter in his mind. He knew that
• 3:51:22
  if he could keep Ellen till she was fifteen, he could sell her for
• 3:51:24
  a high price. But I presume he reflected that she might die or might
• 3:51:30
  be stolen away. At all events, he came to the conclusion that he
• 3:51:33
  had better accept the slave trader's offer. Meeting him in the street, he
• 3:51:37
  inquired when he would leave town to day at ten o'clock. He replied,
• 3:51:41
  ah, do you go so soon? Said the doctor. I've been reflecting
• 3:51:46
  upon your proposition, and I have concluded to let you have the three negroes
• 3:51:48
  if you will pay nineteen hundred dollars. After some parley, the trader agreed
• 3:51:54
  to his terms. He wanted the bill of sale drawn up and signed immediately,
• 3:51:58
  as he had a great deal to attend to during the short time he
• 3:52:01
  remained in town. The doctor went to the jail and told William he would
• 3:52:05
  take him back into his service if he would promise to behave himself. But
• 3:52:09
  he replied that he would rather be sold, and you shall be sold,
• 3:52:13
  you ungrateful rascal, exclaimed the doctor. In less than an hour, the
• 3:52:18
  money was paid, the papers were signed, sealed and delivered, and my
• 3:52:22
  brother and children were in the hands of the trader. It was a hurried
• 3:52:26
  transaction, and after it was over the doctor's characteristic caution returned. He went
• 3:52:31
  back to the speculator and said, sir, I have come to lay you
• 3:52:35
  under obligations of a thousand dollars, not to sell any of those negroes in
• 3:52:39
  this state. You come too late, replied the trader. Our bargain is
• 3:52:43
  closed. He had in fact already sold them to mister Sands, but he
• 3:52:46
  did not mention it. The doctor required him to put irons on that rascal
• 3:52:52
  bill and to pass through the back streets when he took his gang out of
• 3:52:54
  town. The trader was privately instructed to concede to his wishes. My good
• 3:53:00
  old aunt went to the jail to bid the children good bye, supposing them
• 3:53:03
  to be the speculator's property and that she should never see them again. As
• 3:53:07
  she held Benny in her lap, he said, Aunt Nancy, I want
• 3:53:11
  to show you something. He led her to the door and showed her a
• 3:53:13
  long row of marks, saying, Uncle Will taught me to count. I've
• 3:53:18
  made a mark for every day I've been in here, and it is sixty
• 3:53:22
  days. It is a long time, and the speculator is going to take
• 3:53:24
  me and Allan away. He's a bad man. It's wrong for him to
• 3:53:28
  take grandmother's children. I want to go to my mother. My grandmother was
• 3:53:33
  told that the children would be restored to her, but she was requested to
• 3:53:37
  act as if they were really to be sent away. Accordingly, she made
• 3:53:41
  up a bundle of clothes and went to the jail. When she arrived,
• 3:53:43
  she found William handcuffed among the gang and the children in the trader's cart.
• 3:53:48
  The scene seemed too much like reality. She was afraid there might have been
• 3:53:52
  some deception or mistake. She fainted and was carried home. When the wagon
• 3:53:58
  stopped at the hotel, several gentlemen came out and proposed to purchase William,
• 3:54:03
  but the trader refused their offers, without stating that he was already sold.
• 3:54:07
  And now came the trying hour. For that drove of human beings driven away
• 3:54:11
  like cattle to be sold. They knew not where husbands were torn from wives,
• 3:54:16
  parents from children, never to look upon each other again. This side
• 3:54:20
  the grave, there was ringing of hands and cries of despair. Doctor Flint
• 3:54:26
  had the supreme satisfaction of seeing the wagon leaf town had. Missus Flint had
• 3:54:30
  the gratification of supposing that my children were going as far as wind and water
• 3:54:35
  would carry them, according to an agreement. My uncle followed the wagon some
• 3:54:39
  miles till they came to an old farmhouse. There the trader took the irons
• 3:54:43
  from William, and as he did so, he said, you are a
• 3:54:48
  damned clever fellow. I should like to own you myself. Them gentlemen that
• 3:54:52
  wanted to buy you said you was a bright, honest chap, and I
• 3:54:54
  must get you a good home. I guess your old master will swear to
• 3:54:58
  morrow and call himself an old f for selling the children. I reckon,
• 3:55:01
  I'll never get their mammy back again. I expect she's made tracks for the
• 3:55:05
  north. Goodbye, old boy. Remember I have done you a good turn.
• 3:55:09
  You must thank me by coaxing all the pretty gals to go with me
• 3:55:11
  next fall. That's going to be my last trip. This trading in niggers
• 3:55:16
  is a bad business for a fellow that's got me heart. Move on,
• 3:55:18
  you fellows. And the gang went on. God alone knows where. Much
• 3:55:26
  as I despise and detest the class of slave traders, whom I regard the
• 3:55:30
  vilest wretches on earth, I must do this man the justice to say that
• 3:55:33
  he seemed to have some feeling. He took a fancy to William in the
• 3:55:37
  jail and wanted to buy him. When he heard the story of my children,
• 3:55:41
  he was willing to aid them in getting out of doctor Flint's power,
• 3:55:43
  even without charging the customary fee, my uncle procured a wagon and carried William
• 3:55:48
  and the children back to town. Great was the joy in my grandmother's house.
• 3:55:54
  The curtains were closed and the candles lighted. The happy grandmother cuddled the
• 3:55:58
  little ones to her bosom. They hugged her and kissed her, and clapped
• 3:56:01
  their hands and shouted. She knelt down and poured forth one of her heartfelt
• 3:56:07
  prayers of thanksgiving to God. The father was present for a while, and
• 3:56:11
  though such a parental relation as existed between him and my children take slight hold
• 3:56:16
  on the hearts or consciences of slaveholders, it must be that he experienced some
• 3:56:20
  moments of pure joy in witnessing the happiness he had imparted. I had no
• 3:56:24
  share in the rejoicings of that evening. The events of the day had not
• 3:56:28
  come to my knowledge. And now I will tell you something that happened to
• 3:56:31
  me, though you will perhaps think it illustrates the superstition of slaves. I
• 3:56:37
  sat in my usual place on the floor, near the window, where I
• 3:56:39
  could hear much that was said in the street without being seen. The family
• 3:56:43
  had retired for the night, and all was still. I sat there,
• 3:56:48
  thinking of my children when I heard a low strain of music. A band
• 3:56:52
  of serenaders were under the window, playing Home, Sweet Home. I listened
• 3:56:58
  till the sounds did not seem like music, but like the moaning of children.
• 3:57:03
  It seemed as if my heart would burst. I rose from my sitting
• 3:57:07
  posture and knelt. A streak of moonlight was on the floor before me,
• 3:57:11
  and in the midst of it appeared the forms of my two children. They
• 3:57:15
  vanished, but I had seen them distinctly. Some will call it a dream,
• 3:57:20
  others a vision. I know not how to account for it, but
• 3:57:24
  it made a strong impression on my mind, and I felt certain something had
• 3:57:28
  happened to my little ones. I had not seen Betty since morning. Now
• 3:57:31
  I heard her softly turning the key. As soon as she entered. I
• 3:57:35
  clung to her and begged her to let me know whether my children were dead
• 3:57:39
  or whether they were sold. For I had seen their spirits in my room,
• 3:57:41
  and I was sure something had happened to them. Lord Child, said,
• 3:57:46
  she putting her arms round me. You's got to hysterics. I'll sleep
• 3:57:52
  with you tonight, cause you'll make a noise and ruined. Missus. Something
• 3:57:56
  has stirred you up mightily. When you is done, cry and all,
• 3:58:00
  I'll talk with you. The children is well and mighty happy. I see
• 3:58:03
  them myself. Does that satisfy you? Tard shall I'll be still, somebody'll
• 3:58:09
  hear you. I tried to obey her. She lay down and was soon
• 3:58:13
  sound asleep, but no sleep would come to my eyelids. At dawn,
• 3:58:18
  Betty was up and off to the kitchen. The hours passed on, and
• 3:58:22
  the vision of the night kept constantly recurring to my thoughts. After a while
• 3:58:26
  I heard the voices of two women in the entry. In one of them
• 3:58:31
  I recognized the housemaid. The other said to her, did you know Linda
• 3:58:35
  Brent's children was sold to the speculator yesterday? They say Old Massa Flint was
• 3:58:39
  mighty glad to see him. Drove out of town. But they say they've
• 3:58:41
  come back again. I suspect it's all their daddy's doings. They say he's
• 3:58:46
  brought William to Lor. How it will take hold of old Massa Flint.
• 3:58:50
  I'm going round Aunt Marthy's to see about it. I bit my lips till
• 3:58:54
  the blood came to keep from crying out. Were my children with their grandmother?
• 3:58:58
  Or had the speculator carried them off? The suspense was dreadful. Would
• 3:59:03
  Betty never come and tell me the truth about it? At last she came,
• 3:59:07
  and I eagerly repeated right overheard. Her face was one broad, bright
• 3:59:11
  smile. Lord, you foolish thing, said she. I'm goin to tell
• 3:59:16
  you all about it. The gals is eatin their breakfast. An missus told
• 3:59:20
  me to let her tell you. But poor creetur tain't right to keep you
• 3:59:24
  waitin' an, I's goin to tell you brought her chillin. All is bought
• 3:59:28
  by the daddy. I's laugh mored enough tinkin about old massa Flinn. Lord,
• 3:59:33
  how he will swore he's got catch this time anyhow, But I must
• 3:59:39
  be gettin out of this or them gals will come and catch me. Betty
• 3:59:43
  went off laughing, and I said to myself, can it be true that
• 3:59:46
  my children are free? I've not suffered for them in vain, Thank God.
• 3:59:52
  Great surprise was expressed when it was known that my children had returned to
• 3:59:56
  their grandmother's. The news spread through the town, and many a kind word
• 4:00:00
  was bestowed on the little ones. Doctor Flint went to my grandmother's to ascertain
• 4:00:05
  who was the owner of my children, and she informed him. I expected
• 4:00:09
  as much, said he. I am glad to hear it. I have
• 4:00:13
  had news from Linda lately, and I shall soon have her. You need
• 4:00:16
  never expect to see her free. She shall be my slave as long as
• 4:00:20
  I live, and when I am dead, she shall be the slave of
• 4:00:22
  my children. If I ever find out that you or Philip had anything to
• 4:00:26
  do with her running off, I'll kill him. And if I meet William
• 4:00:30
  in the street and he presumes to look at me, I'll flog him within
• 4:00:33
  an inch of his life. Keep those brats out of my sight. As
• 4:00:39
  he turned to leave, my grandmother said something to remind him of his own
• 4:00:41
  doings. He looked back upon her as if he would have been glad to
• 4:00:46
  strike her to the ground. I had my season of joy and thanksgiving.
• 4:00:50
  It was the first time since my childhood that I had experienced any real happiness.
• 4:00:56
  I heard of the old doctor's threats, but they no longer had the
• 4:00:58
  same power to trouble. The darkest cloud that hung over my life had ruled
• 4:01:03
  away. Whatever slavery might do to me, it could not shackle my children.
• 4:01:07
  If I fell a sacrifice, my little ones were saved. It was
• 4:01:11
  well for me that my simple heart believed all that had been promised for their
• 4:01:16
  welfare. It is always better to trust than to doubt. End of Chapter
• 4:01:22
  nineteen, Chapter twenty, New Perils. The doctor, more exasperated than ever,
• 4:01:31
  again tried to revenge himself on my relatives. He arrested Uncle Philip on
• 4:01:35
  the charge of having aided my flight. He was carried before a court and
• 4:01:39
  swore truly that he knew nothing of my intention to escape, and that he
• 4:01:43
  had not seen me since I left my master's plantation. The doctor then demanded
• 4:01:48
  that he should give bail for five hundred dollars, that he would have nothing
• 4:01:52
  to do with me. Several gentlemen offered to be security for him, but
• 4:01:56
  mister Sands told him he had better go back to jail and he would see
• 4:02:00
  that he came out without giving bail. The news of his arrest was carried
• 4:02:03
  to my grandmother, who conveyed it to Betty. In the kindness of her
• 4:02:07
  heart, she again stowed me away under the floor, and as she walked
• 4:02:11
  back and forth in the performance of her culinary duties, she talked apparently to
• 4:02:15
  herself, but with the intention that I should hear what was going on.
• 4:02:18
  I hoped that my uncle's imprisonment would last but few days. Still I was
• 4:02:24
  anxious. I thought it likely Doctor Flint would do his utmost to taunt and
• 4:02:28
  insult him. And I was afraid my uncle might lose control of himself and
• 4:02:33
  retort in some way that we be construed into a punishable offense. And I
• 4:02:37
  was well aware that in court his word would not be taken against any white
• 4:02:41
  man's. The search for me was renewed. Something had excited suspicions that I
• 4:02:46
  was in the vicinity. They searched the house I was in. I heard
• 4:02:50
  their steps and their voices. At night, when all were asleep, Betty
• 4:02:54
  came to release me from my place of confinement. The fright I had undergone,
• 4:02:58
  the constrained posture, and the dampness of the ground made me ill for
• 4:03:01
  several days. My uncle was soon after taken out of prison, but the
• 4:03:05
  movements of all my relatives and all of our friends were very closely watched.
• 4:03:11
  We all saw that I could not remain where I was much longer. I
• 4:03:15
  had already stayed longer than was intended, and I knew my presence must be
• 4:03:18
  a source of perpetual anxiety to my kind benefactress. During this time, my
• 4:03:24
  friends had laid many plans for my escape, but the extreme vigilance of my
• 4:03:28
  persecutors made it impossible to carry them into effect. One morning, I was
• 4:03:33
  much startled by hearing somebody trying to get into my room. Several keys were
• 4:03:37
  tried, but none fitted. I instantly conjectured it was one of the housemaids,
• 4:03:43
  and I concluded she must either have heard some noise in the room or
• 4:03:46
  have noticed the entrance of Betty. When my friend came at her usual time,
• 4:03:50
  I told her what had happened. I knows who it was, said
• 4:03:54
  she tend upon it twas that Jenny d Ninger always got the devil in her.
• 4:04:00
  I suggested that she might have seen or heard something that excited her curiosity.
• 4:04:05
  Tut tut, child exclaimed, Betty, she ain't seen nothin nor heard
• 4:04:09
  nothing. She only spects somethin That's all. She wants to find out who
• 4:04:15
  have cut and make my gown. But she won't never know. That's certain.
• 4:04:18
  I'll get missus to fix her. I reflected a moment and said Betty,
• 4:04:24
  I must leave here to night. Do as you think best, poor
• 4:04:28
  child, She replied, I's mighty afraid that neer nigger will pop on you
• 4:04:33
  some time. She reported the incident to her mistress and received orders to keep
• 4:04:37
  Jenny busy in the kitchen till she could see my uncle Philip. He told
• 4:04:41
  her he would send a friend for me that very evening. She told him
• 4:04:45
  she hoped I was going to the north, for it was very dangerous for
• 4:04:48
  me to remain anywhere in the vicinity, Alas it was not an easy thing
• 4:04:52
  for one in my situation to go to the north in order to leave the
• 4:04:54
  coast quite clear for me. She went into the country to spend the day
• 4:04:58
  with her brother, and took Jenny with her. She was afraid to come
• 4:05:01
  and bid me good bye, but she left a kind message with Betty.
• 4:05:05
  I heard her carriage roll from the door, and I never again saw her,
• 4:05:09
  who had so generously befriended the poor trembling fugitive, though she was a
• 4:05:13
  slaveholder. To this day, my heart blesses her. I had not the
• 4:05:18
  slightest idea where I was going. Betty brought me a suit of sailor's clothes,
• 4:05:24
  jacket, trousers and tarpaulin hat. She gave me a small bundle,
• 4:05:28
  saying I might need it where I was going. In cheery tone, she
• 4:05:31
  exclaimed, I so glad you was gwind of free parts. Don't forget old
• 4:05:37
  Betty. Perhaps I'll come long by and by. I tried to tell her
• 4:05:41
  how grateful I felt for all her kindness, but she interrupted me, I
• 4:05:46
  don't want no tanks, Sonny. I's glad I could help you, and
• 4:05:50
  I hoped a good lord will open the path for you aswine. Would you
• 4:05:52
  to the lower gate, Put your hands in your pockets and walk rickety like
• 4:05:56
  the sailor's I performed to her satis faction. At the gate, I found
• 4:06:01
  Peter, a young colored man, waiting for me. I had known him
• 4:06:05
  for years. He had been an apprentice to my father and had always borne
• 4:06:09
  a good character. I was not afraid to trust to him. Betty bade
• 4:06:13
  me a hurried good bye, and we walked off. Take courage, Linda,
• 4:06:18
  said, my friend, Peter, I've got a dagger, and no
• 4:06:20
  man shall take you from me unless he passes over my dead body. It
• 4:06:24
  was a long time since I had taken a walk out of doors. And
• 4:06:28
  the fresh air revived me. It was also pleasant to hear a human voice
• 4:06:33
  speaking to me above a whisper. I passed several people whom I knew,
• 4:06:37
  but they did not recognize me in my disguise. I prayed internally that for
• 4:06:41
  Peter's sake as well as my own, nothing might occur to bring out his
• 4:06:45
  dagger. We walked on till we came to the wharf. My aunt Nancy's
• 4:06:48
  husband was a seafaring man, and it had been deemed necessary to let him
• 4:06:52
  into our secret. He took me into his boat, rowed out to a
• 4:06:56
  vessel not far distant, and hoisted me on board. We three were the
• 4:07:01
  only occupants of the vessel. I now ventured to ask what they proposed to
• 4:07:05
  do with me. They said I was to remain on board till near dawn,
• 4:07:09
  and then they would hide me in snaky swamp till my uncle Philip had
• 4:07:13
  prepared a place of concealment for me. If the vessel had been bound north,
• 4:07:16
  it would have been of no avail to me, for it would certainly
• 4:07:18
  have been searched. About four o'clock, we were again seated in the boat
• 4:07:22
  and rowed three miles to the swamp. My fear of snakes had been increased
• 4:07:28
  by the venomous bite I had received, and I dreaded to enter this hiding
• 4:07:31
  place. But I was in no situation to choose, and I gratefully accepted
• 4:07:35
  the best that my poor persecuted friends could do for me. Peter landed first,
• 4:07:41
  and with a large knife, cut a path through bamboos and briars of
• 4:07:43
  all descriptions. He came back, took me at his arms, and carried
• 4:07:48
  me to a seat made among the bamboos. Before we reached it, we
• 4:07:50
  were covered with hundreds of mosquitoes. In an hour's time. They had so
• 4:07:54
  poisoned my flesh that I was a pitiful sight to behold. As the lighting
• 4:08:00
  increased, I saw snake after snake crawling round us. I had been accustomed
• 4:08:03
  to the sight of snakes all my life, but these were larger than any
• 4:08:07
  I had ever seen to this day. I shudder when I remember that morning.
• 4:08:11
  As evening approached, the number of snakes increased so much that we were
• 4:08:16
  continually obliged to thrash them with sticks to keep them from crawling over us.
• 4:08:20
  The bamboos were so high and so thick that it was impossible to see beyond
• 4:08:24
  the very short distance. Just before it became dark, we procured a seat
• 4:08:28
  near to the entrance of the swamp, being fearful of losing our way back
• 4:08:31
  to the boat. It was not long before we heard the paddle of oars
• 4:08:35
  and the low whistle, which had been agreed upon as a signal. We
• 4:08:39
  made haste to enter the boat and were rowed back to the vessel. I
• 4:08:43
  passed a wretched night, for the heat of the swamp, the mosquitoes,
• 4:08:46
  and the constant terror of snakes had brought on a burning fever. I had
• 4:08:50
  just dropped asleep when they came and told me it was time to go back
• 4:08:54
  to that horrid swamp. I could scarcely summon courage to rise, But even
• 4:08:58
  those large, venomous snakes were less dreadful, to my imagination than the white
• 4:09:03
  men in that community called civilized. This time, Peter took a quantity of
• 4:09:07
  tobacco to burn to keep off the mosquitoes. It produced the desired effect on
• 4:09:11
  them, but gave me nausea and severe headache. At dark, we returned
• 4:09:16
  to the vessel. I had been so sick during the day that Peter declared
• 4:09:20
  I should go home that night if the devil himself was on patrol. They
• 4:09:24
  told me a place of concealment had been provided for me at my grandmother's.
• 4:09:28
  I could not imagine how it was possible to hide me in her house,
• 4:09:31
  every nook and corner of which was known to the Flint family. They told
• 4:09:35
  me to wait and see. We were rowed ashore, and went boldly through
• 4:09:39
  the streets to my grandmother's. I wore my sailor's clothes and had blackened my
• 4:09:43
  face with charcoal. I passed several people whom I knew. The father of
• 4:09:48
  my children came so near that I brushed against his arm, but he had
• 4:09:50
  no idea who it was. You must make the most of this walk,
• 4:09:54
  said my friend Peter, for you may not have another very soon. I
• 4:10:00
  I thought his voice sounded sad. It was kind of him to conceal from
• 4:10:03
  me what a dismal hole was to be my home for a long long time.
• 4:10:09
  End of Chapter twenty Chapter twenty one, The Loophole of Retreat. A
• 4:10:16
  small shed had been added to my grandmother's house years ago. Some boards were
• 4:10:20
  laid across the joists at the top and between these boards, and the roof
• 4:10:24
  was a very small garret, never occupied by anything but rats and mice.
• 4:10:30
  It was a pent roof covered with nothing but shingles. According to the Southern
• 4:10:33
  custom for such buildings. The garret was only nine feet long and seven wide.
• 4:10:39
  The highest part was three feet high and sloped down abruptly to the loose
• 4:10:43
  board floor. There was no admission for either light or air. My uncle
• 4:10:48
  Philip, who was a carpenter, had very skillfully made a concealed trap door
• 4:10:54
  which communicated with the store room. He had been doing this while I was
• 4:10:56
  waiting in the swamp. The storeroom opened upon a piazza to this hole.
• 4:11:01
  I was conveyed. As soon as I entered the house. The air was
• 4:11:05
  stifling, the darkness total. A bed had been spread on the floor.
• 4:11:09
  I could sleep quite comfortably on one side, but the slope was so sudden
• 4:11:13
  that I could not turn on my other without hitting the roof. The rats
• 4:11:18
  and mice ran over my bed. But I was weary, and I slept
• 4:11:22
  such sleep as the wretched may when a tempest has passed over them. Morning
• 4:11:26
  came. I knew it only by the noises I heard, for in my
• 4:11:31
  small den, day and night were all the same. I suffered for air,
• 4:11:35
  even more than for light. But I was not comfortless. I heard
• 4:11:39
  the voices of my children. There was joy and there was sadness in the
• 4:11:45
  sound. It made my tears flow. How I longed to speak to them.
• 4:11:50
  I was eager to look on their faces. But there was no hole,
• 4:11:54
  no crack through which I could peep. This continued darkness was oppressive.
• 4:12:00
  It seemed horrible to sit or lie in a cramped position day after day without
• 4:12:05
  one gleam of light. Yet I would have chosen this rather than my lot
• 4:12:09
  as a slave, though white people considered it an easy one, and it
• 4:12:13
  was so compared with the fate of others. I was never cruelly overworked.
• 4:12:18
  I was never lacerated with the whip from head to foot. I was never
• 4:12:22
  so beaten and bruised that I could not turn from one side to the other.
• 4:12:26
  I never had my heel strings cut to prevent my running away. I
• 4:12:30
  was never changed to a log and forced to drag it about while I toiled
• 4:12:33
  in the fields from morning till night. I was never branded with hot iron
• 4:12:37
  or torn by bloodhounds. On the contrary, I had always been kindly treated
• 4:12:43
  and tenderly cared for. Until I came into the hands of doctor Flint.
• 4:12:46
  I had never wished for freedom till then. But though my life in slavery
• 4:12:52
  was comparatively devoid of hardships, God pity the woman who was compelled to lead
• 4:12:56
  such a life. My food was passed up to me through the trap door
• 4:13:01
  my uncle had contrived, and my grandmother, my uncle Philip, and aunt
• 4:13:05
  Nancy would seize such opportunities as they could to mount up there and chat with
• 4:13:09
  me at the opening. But of course this was not safe in the daytime.
• 4:13:13
  It must all be done in darkness. It was impossible for me to
• 4:13:18
  move in an erect position, but I crawled about my den for exercise.
• 4:13:22
  One day I hit my head against something and found it was a gimlet.
• 4:13:26
  My uncle had left it sticking there when he made the trap door. I
• 4:13:30
  was as rejoiced as Robinson Crusoe could have been at finding such a treasure.
• 4:13:33
  It put a lucky thought into my head. I said to myself, Now
• 4:13:37
  I will have some light. Now I will see my children. I did
• 4:13:43
  not dare to begin my work during the daytime, for fear of attracting attention.
• 4:13:46
  But I groped round, and having found the side next the street,
• 4:13:50
  where I could frequently see my children. I stuck the gimlet in and waited
• 4:13:54
  for evening. I bored three rows of holes, one above another. Then
• 4:14:00
  I bored out the interstices between. I thus succeeded in making one hole about
• 4:14:05
  an inch long and an inch broad. I sat by it till late into
• 4:14:09
  the night to enjoy the little whiff of air that floated in. In the
• 4:14:13
  morning, I watched from my children. The first person I saw in the
• 4:14:16
  street was doctor Flint. I had a shuddering, superstitious feeling that it was
• 4:14:20
  a bad omen. Several familiar faces passed by. At last I heard the
• 4:14:26
  merry laugh of children, and presently two sweet little faces were looking up at
• 4:14:31
  me, as though they knew I was there and were conscious of the joy
• 4:14:35
  they imparted. How I longed to tell them I was there. My condition
• 4:14:41
  was now a little improved, but for weeks I was tormented by hundreds of
• 4:14:45
  little red insects fine as a needle's point, that pierced through my skin and
• 4:14:50
  produced an intolerable burning. The good grandmother gave me herb teas and cooling medicines,
• 4:14:56
  and finally I got rid of them. The heat of my den was
• 4:14:58
  int hence for nothing but thin shingles protected me from the scorching summer sun.
• 4:15:05
  But I had my consolations. Through my peeping hole. I could watch the
• 4:15:09
  children, and when they were near enough, I could hear their talk.
• 4:15:11
  Aunt Nancy brought me all the news she could hear at Doctor Flint's. From
• 4:15:16
  her, I learned that the doctor had written to New York to a colored
• 4:15:18
  woman who had been born and raised in our neighborhood and had breathed his contaminating
• 4:15:24
  atmosphere. He offered her a reward if she could find out anything about me.
• 4:15:28
  I know not what was the nature of her reply, but he soon
• 4:15:31
  after started from New York in haste, saying to his family that he had
• 4:15:35
  business of importance to transact. I peeped at him as he passed on his
• 4:15:39
  way to the steamboat. It was a satisfaction to have him miles of land
• 4:15:43
  and water between us, even for a little while. And it was a
• 4:15:48
  still greater satisfaction to know that he believed me to be in the Free States.
• 4:15:52
  My little den seemed less dreary than it had done. He returned,
• 4:15:56
  as he did from his former journey to New York, without obtaining anything satisfactory
• 4:16:00
  information. When he passed our house next morning, Benny was standing at the
• 4:16:04
  gate. He had heard them say that he had gone to find me,
• 4:16:07
  and he called out, doctor Flint, did you bring my mother home?
• 4:16:11
  I want to see her. The doctor stamped his foot at him in a
• 4:16:15
  rage and exclaimed, get out of the way, you little damned rascal.
• 4:16:19
  If you don't, I'll cut off your head. Benny ran terrified into the
• 4:16:25
  house, saying, you can't put me in jail again. I don't belong
• 4:16:29
  to you. Now. It was well that the wind carried the words away
• 4:16:32
  from the doctor's ear. I told my grandmother of it when we had our
• 4:16:36
  next conference at the trap door, and begged of her not to allow the
• 4:16:38
  children to be impertinent to the irascible old man. Autumn came with a pleasant
• 4:16:44
  abatement of heat. My eyes had become accustomed to the dim light, and
• 4:16:48
  by holding my book or work in a certain position near the aperture, I
• 4:16:52
  contrived to read and sew. That was a great relief to the tedious monotony
• 4:16:57
  of my life. But when winter came, the cold penetrated through the thin
• 4:17:02
  shingle roof, and I was dreadfully chilled. The winters there are not so
• 4:17:07
  long or so severe as in northern latitudes, but the houses are not built
• 4:17:11
  to shelter from cold, and my little den was peculiarly comfortless. The kind
• 4:17:17
  grandmother brought me bedclothes and warm drinks. Often I was obliged to lie in
• 4:17:21
  bed all day to keep comfortable, but with all my precautions, my shoulders
• 4:17:26
  and feet were frostbitten. Oh those long, gloomy days, with no object
• 4:17:30
  for my eye to rest upon, and no thoughts to occupy my mind except
• 4:17:36
  the dreary past and the uncertain future. I was thankful when there came a
• 4:17:40
  day sufficiently mild for me to wrap myself up and sit at the loophole to
• 4:17:44
  watch the passers by. Southerners have the habit of stopping and talking in the
• 4:17:48
  streets, and I heard many conversations not intended to meet my ears. I
• 4:17:53
  heard slave hunters planning how to catch some poor fugitive. Several times I heard
• 4:17:57
  allusions to doctor fleat myself and the history of my children, who perhaps were
• 4:18:03
  playing near the gate. One would say, I wouldn't move my little finger
• 4:18:07
  to catch her. As old Flint's property. Another would say, I'll catch
• 4:18:12
  any nigger for the reward. A man ought to have what belongs to him
• 4:18:15
  if he is a damned brute. The opinion was often expressed that I was
• 4:18:21
  in the Free States. Very rarely did any one suggest that I might be
• 4:18:25
  in the Vicinity. Had the least suspicion rested on my grandmother's house, it
• 4:18:29
  would have been burned to the ground. But it was the last place they
• 4:18:33
  thought of. Yet there was no place where slavery existed that could have afforded
• 4:18:37
  me so good a place of concealment. Doctor Flint and his family repeatedly tried
• 4:18:42
  to coax and bribe my children to tell something they had heard said about me.
• 4:18:48
  One day, the doctor took them into a shop and offered them some
• 4:18:51
  bright little silver pieces and gay handkerchiefs if they would tell where their mother was.
• 4:18:56
  Ellen shrank away from him and would not speak. But Benny spoke up
• 4:19:00
  and said, doctor Flint, I don't know where my mother is. I
• 4:19:03
  guess she's in New York. And when you go there again, I wish
• 4:19:07
  you'd ask her to come home, for I want to see her. But
• 4:19:10
  if you put her in jail, or tell her you'll cut her head off.
• 4:19:14
  I'll tell her to go right back. End of Chapter twenty one,
• 4:19:19
  Chapter twenty two, Christmas Festivities. Christmas was approaching. Grandmother brought me materials,
• 4:19:29
  and I busied myself making some new garments and little playthings for my children.
• 4:19:33
  Were it not that hiring day is near at hand, and many families
• 4:19:37
  are fearfully looking forward to the probability of separation in a few days. Christmas
• 4:19:41
  might be a happy season for the poor slaves. Even slave mothers try to
• 4:19:45
  gladden the hearts of their little ones. On that occasion, Benny and Ellen
• 4:19:49
  had their Christmas stockings filled. Their imprisoned mother could not have the privilege of
• 4:19:55
  witnessing their surprise and joy, but I had the pleasure of peeping at them
• 4:20:00
  as they went into the street with their new suits. On I heard Benny
• 4:20:03
  ask a little playmate whether Santa Claus brought him anything. Yes, replied the
• 4:20:07
  boy. But Santa Claus ain't a real man. It's the children's mothers that
• 4:20:11
  put things into the stockings. No, that can't be replied Benny. For
• 4:20:17
  Santa Claus brought Ellen and me these new clothes, and my mother has been
• 4:20:19
  gone this long time, how I longed to tell him that his mother made
• 4:20:25
  those garments, and that many a tear fell on them while she worked.
• 4:20:30
  Every child rises early on Christmas morning to see the John Canos. Without them,
• 4:20:34
  Christmas would be shorn of its greatest attraction. They consist of companies of
• 4:20:38
  slaves from the plantations, generally of the lower class. Two athletic men in
• 4:20:45
  calico wrappers have annette thrown over them, covered with all manner of bright colored
• 4:20:48
  stripes. Cow's tails are fastened to their backs, and their heads are decorated
• 4:20:53
  with horns. A box covered with sheepskin is called the gumbo box. A
• 4:20:59
  dozen beats, while others strike triangles and jawbones, to which bands of dancers
• 4:21:03
  keep time. For a month previous they are composing songs which are sung on
• 4:21:08
  this occasion. These companies of a hundred each turn out early in the morning
• 4:21:12
  and are allowed to go round till twelve o'clock begging for contributions. Not a
• 4:21:18
  door is left unvisited where there is the least chance of obtaining a penny or
• 4:21:22
  a glass of rum. They do not drink while they are out, but
• 4:21:26
  carry the rum home in jugs to have a carousal. These Christmas donations frequently
• 4:21:30
  amount to twenty or thirty dollars. It is seldom that any white man or
• 4:21:34
  child refuses to give them a trifle. If he does, they regale his
• 4:21:37
  ears with the following song, Poor massa. Soday say down into heels.
• 4:21:44
  Soday say got no money? Soday say not one's shillin. Soday say God
• 4:21:48
  a mighty bless you, Soday say. Christmas is a day of feasting,
• 4:21:53
  both with white and colored people. Slaves who are lucky enough to have a
• 4:21:57
  few shillings are sure to spend them for good, and many a turkey and
• 4:22:00
  pig is captured without saying, by your leave, sir. Those who cannot
• 4:22:06
  obtain these, cook a possum or a raccoon, from which savory dishes can
• 4:22:10
  be made. My grandmother raised poultry and pigs for sale, and it was
• 4:22:14
  her established custom to have both a turkey and a pig roasted for Christmas dinner.
• 4:22:18
  On this occasion, I was warned to keep extremely quiet because two guests
• 4:22:22
  had been invited. One was the town constable and the other was a free
• 4:22:27
  colored man who tried to pass himself off for white and who was always ready
• 4:22:30
  to do any mean work. For the sake of currying favor with white people.
• 4:22:34
  My grandmother had a motive for inviting them. She managed to take them
• 4:22:38
  all over the house. All the rooms on the lower floor were thrown open
• 4:22:42
  for them to pass in and out, And after dinner they were invited upstairs
• 4:22:45
  to look at a fine mocking bird my uncle had just brought home there too.
• 4:22:49
  The rooms were all thrown open that they might look in. When I
• 4:22:53
  heard them talking on the piazza, my heart almost stood still. I knew
• 4:22:57
  this colored man had spent many nights hunting for me. Everybody knew he had
• 4:23:02
  the blood of a slave father in his veins. But for the sake of
• 4:23:04
  passing himself off for white he was ready to kiss the slaveholder's feet. How
• 4:23:10
  I despised him. As for the constable, he wore no false colors.
• 4:23:14
  The duties of his office were despicable, but he was superior to his companion
• 4:23:18
  inasmuch as he did not pretend to be what he was not. Any white
• 4:23:22
  man who could raise money enough to buy a slave would have considered himself degraded
• 4:23:26
  by being a constable. But the office enabled its possessor to exercise authority if
• 4:23:32
  he found any slave out after nine o'clock, he could whip him as much
• 4:23:36
  as he liked, and that was a privilege to be coveted. When the
• 4:23:40
  guests were ready to depart, my grandmother gave each of them some of her
• 4:23:44
  nice pudding as a present for their wives. Through my peep hole, I
• 4:23:48
  saw them go out of the gate, and I was glad when it closed
• 4:23:51
  after them. So passed the first Christmas in my den end of Chapter twenty
• 4:23:57
  two, Chapter twenty three, still in prison, when spring returned and I
• 4:24:07
  took in the little patch of green the aperture commanded, I asked myself how
• 4:24:11
  many more summers and winters I must be condemned to spend. Thus I longed
• 4:24:15
  to draw in a plentiful draft of fresh air, to stretch my cramped limbs,
• 4:24:21
  to have room to stand erect, to feel the earth under my feet
• 4:24:25
  again. My relatives were constantly on the lookout for a chance of escape,
• 4:24:30
  but none offered that seemed practicable and even tolerably safe. The hot summer came
• 4:24:36
  again and made the turpentine drop from the thin roof over my head. During
• 4:24:41
  the long nights, I was restless for want of air, and I had
• 4:24:44
  no room to toss and turn. There was but one compensation. The atmosphere
• 4:24:49
  was so stifled that even mosquitoes would not condescend to buzz in it. With
• 4:24:55
  all my detestation of doctor Flint, I could hardly wish him a worse punishm,
• 4:25:00
  either in this world or that which is to come, than to suffer
• 4:25:03
  what I suffered in one single summer. Yet the laws allowed him to be
• 4:25:08
  out in the free air, while I, guiltless of crime, was pent
• 4:25:11
  up here as the only means of avoiding the cruelties the laws allowed him to
• 4:25:17
  inflict upon me. I don't know what kept life within me. Again and
• 4:25:22
  again I thought I should die before long, But I saw the leaves of
• 4:25:26
  another autumn whirl through the air, and felt the touch of another winter.
• 4:25:30
  In summer, the most terrible thunder storms were acceptable for the rain came through
• 4:25:34
  the roof, and I rolled up my bed that it might cool the hot
• 4:25:37
  boards under it. Later in the season, storms sometimes wet my clothes through
• 4:25:42
  and through, and that was not comfortable. When the air grew chilly.
• 4:25:47
  Moderate storms I could keep out by filling the chinks with oakum, but uncomfortable
• 4:25:52
  as my situation was I had glimpses of things out of doors, which made
• 4:25:56
  me thankful for my wretched hiding place. One I saw a slave pass our
• 4:26:00
  gate, muttering, it's his own and he can kill it if he will.
• 4:26:06
  My grandmother told me that woman's history. Her mistress had that day seen
• 4:26:11
  her baby for the first time, and in the lineaments of its fair face
• 4:26:15
  she saw a likeness to her husband. She turned the bondwoman and her child
• 4:26:18
  out of doors and forbade her ever to return. The slave went to her
• 4:26:22
  master and told him what had happened. He promised to talk with her mistress
• 4:26:26
  and make it all right. The next day, she and her baby were
• 4:26:30
  sold to a Georgia trader. Another time I saw a woman rush wildly by,
• 4:26:37
  pursued by two men. She was a slave, the wet nurse of
• 4:26:40
  her mistress's children. For some trifling offense, her mistress ordered her to be
• 4:26:45
  stripped and whipped. To escape the degradation and the torture, she rushed to
• 4:26:49
  the river, jumped in, and ended her wrongs in death. Senator Brown
• 4:26:56
  of Mississippi could not be ignorant of many such facts as these, for they
• 4:27:00
  are of frequent occurrence in every southern state. Yet he stood up in the
• 4:27:03
  Congress of the United States and declared that slavery was a great, moral,
• 4:27:08
  social, and political blessing, a blessing to the master and a blessing to
• 4:27:14
  the slave. I suffered much more during the second winter than I did during
• 4:27:18
  the first. My limbs were benumbed by inaction, and the cold filled them
• 4:27:23
  with cramp I had a very painful sensation of coldness in my head. Even
• 4:27:29
  my face and tongue stiffened, and I lost the power of speech. Of
• 4:27:33
  course, it was impossible under the circumstances to summon any physician. My brother
• 4:27:37
  William came and did all he could for me. Uncle Philip also watched tenderly
• 4:27:42
  over me, and poor grandmother crept up and down to inquire whether there were
• 4:27:47
  any signs of returning life. I was restored to consciousness by the dashing of
• 4:27:52
  cold water in my face, and found myself leaning against my brother's arm while
• 4:27:56
  he bent over me with streaming eyes. He afterwards told me he thought was
• 4:28:00
  dying, for I had been in an unconscious state sixteen hours. I next
• 4:28:04
  became delirious and was in great danger of betraying myself and my friends. To
• 4:28:10
  prevent this, they stupefied me with drugs. I remained in bed six weeks,
• 4:28:15
  weary in body and sick at heart. How to get medical advice was
• 4:28:18
  the question. William finally went to a Tomsonian doctor and described himself as having
• 4:28:25
  all my pains and aches. He returned with herbs, roots and ointment.
• 4:28:30
  He was especially charged to rub on the ointment by a fire. But how
• 4:28:33
  could a fire be made in my little den. Charcoal in a furnace was
• 4:28:37
  tried, but there was no outlet for the gas, and it nearly cost
• 4:28:41
  me my life. Afterwards, coals already kindled, were brought up in an
• 4:28:45
  iron pan and placed on bricks. I was so weak, and it was
• 4:28:49
  so long since I had enjoyed the warmth of a fire, that those few
• 4:28:53
  coals actually made me weep. I think the medicines did me some good,
• 4:28:59
  but my recovery very slow. Dark thoughts passed through my mind as I lay
• 4:29:03
  there day after day. I tried to be thankful for my little cell,
• 4:29:07
  dismal as it was, and even to love it as part of the price
• 4:29:11
  I had paid for the redemption of my children. Sometimes I thought God was
• 4:29:17
  a compassionate father who would forgive my sins for the sake of my sufferings.
• 4:29:22
  At other times it seemed to me there was no justice or mercy in the
• 4:29:25
  divine government. I asked why the curse of slavery was permitted to exist,
• 4:29:30
  and why I had been so persecuted and wronged from youth upward. These things
• 4:29:36
  took the shape of mystery, which is to this day not so clear to
• 4:29:40
  my soul, as I trust it will be hereafter. In the midst of
• 4:29:44
  my illness, grandmother broke down under the weight and anxiety and toil. The
• 4:29:48
  idea of losing her, who had always been my best friend and a mother
• 4:29:52
  to my children, was the sorest trial I had yet had. Oh how
• 4:29:57
  earnestly I prayed that she might recover, how hard it seemed that I could
• 4:30:03
  not tend upon her, who had so long and so tenderly watched over me.
• 4:30:07
  One day, the screams of a child nerved me with strength to crawl
• 4:30:11
  to my peeping hole, and I saw my son covered with blood. A
• 4:30:15
  fierce dog, usually kept chained, had seized and bitten him. A doctor
• 4:30:21
  was sent for, and I heard the groans and screams of my child,
• 4:30:23
  while the wounds were being sewed up. What torture to a mother's heart to
• 4:30:27
  listen to this and be unable to go to him. But childhood is like
• 4:30:33
  a day in spring, alternately shower and sunshine. Before night, Benny was
• 4:30:38
  bright and lively, threatening the destruction of the dog, And great was his
• 4:30:44
  delight when the doctor told him the next day that the dog had bitten another
• 4:30:48
  boy and been shot. Benny recovered from his wounds, but it was long
• 4:30:52
  before he could walk. When my grandmother's illness became known, many ladies who
• 4:30:57
  were her customers called to break her some little comforts and to inquire whether she
• 4:31:02
  had everything she wanted. Aunt Nancy one night asked permission to watch with her
• 4:31:07
  sick mother, and Missus Flint replied, I don't see any need of your
• 4:31:11
  going. I can't spare you. But when she found other ladies in the
• 4:31:15
  neighborhood were so attentive, not wishing to be outdone in Christian charity, she
• 4:31:21
  also sallied forth in magnificent condescension, and stood by the bedside of her who
• 4:31:26
  had loved her in her infancy, and who had been repaid by such grievous
• 4:31:30
  wrongs. She seemed surprised to find her so ill, and scolded Uncle Philip
• 4:31:34
  for not sending for doctor Flint. She herself sent for him immediately, and
• 4:31:38
  he came secure as I was in my retreat. I should have been terrified
• 4:31:42
  if I had known he was so near me. He pronounced my grandmother in
• 4:31:45
  a very critical situation, and said of her attending physician wished it he would
• 4:31:51
  visit her. Nobody wished to have him coming to the house at all hours,
• 4:31:55
  and we were not disposed to give him a chance to make out a
• 4:31:57
  long bill. As missus Flint went out, Sally told her the reason Benny
• 4:32:03
  was lame was that a dog had bitten him. I'm glad of it,
• 4:32:07
  replied she. I wish he had killed him. It would be good news
• 4:32:11
  to send to his mother. Her day will come, the dogs will grab
• 4:32:15
  her. Yet with these Christian words, she and her husband departed, and,
• 4:32:22
  to my great satisfaction, returned no more. I learned from Uncle Philip,
• 4:32:27
  with feelings of unspeakable joy and gratitude that the crisis was past and grandmother
• 4:32:33
  would live. I could now say from my heart, God is merciful.
• 4:32:37
  He has spared me the anguish of feeling that I caused her death. End
• 4:32:45
  of Chapter twenty three. Chapter twenty four, The Candidate for Congress. The
• 4:32:52
  summer had nearly ended when Doctor Flint made a third visit to New York in
• 4:32:56
  search of me. Two candidates were running for Congress, and he returned in
• 4:33:00
  season to vote. The father of my children was the Whig candidate. The
• 4:33:04
  Doctor had hitherto been a staunch Whig, but now he exerted all his energies
• 4:33:10
  for the defeat of mister Sands. He invited large parties of men to dine
• 4:33:15
  in the shade of his trees, and supplied them with plenty of rum and
• 4:33:18
  brandy. If any poor fellow drowned his wits in the bowl, and in
• 4:33:22
  the openness of his convivial heart, proclaimed that he did not mean to vote
• 4:33:26
  the Democratic ticket, he was shoved into the street without ceremony. The Doctor
• 4:33:33
  expended his liquor in vain. Mister Sands was elected, an event which occasioned
• 4:33:37
  me some anxious thoughts. He had not emancipated my children, and if he
• 4:33:42
  should die, they would be at the mercy of his heirs. Two little
• 4:33:47
  voices that frequently met my ear seemed to plead with me not to let their
• 4:33:51
  father depart without striving to make their freedom secure. Years had passed since I
• 4:33:56
  had spoken to him. I had not even seen him since the night I
• 4:34:00
  passed him unrecognized in my disguise of a sailor. I supposed he would call
• 4:34:04
  before he left to say something to my grandmother concerning the children, and I
• 4:34:08
  resolved what course to take. The day before his departure for Washington, I
• 4:34:14
  made arrangements toward evening to get from my hiding place into the store room below.
• 4:34:18
  I found myself so stiff and clumsy that it was with great difficulty I
• 4:34:22
  could hitch from one resting place to another. When I reached the storeroom,
• 4:34:27
  my ankles gave way under me, and I sank exhausted on the floor.
• 4:34:32
  It seemed as if I could never use my limbs again. But the purpose
• 4:34:36
  I had in view roused all the strength I had. I crawled on my
• 4:34:40
  hands and knees to the window and screened behind a barrel. I waited for
• 4:34:44
  his coming. The clock struck nine, and I knew the steamboat would leave
• 4:34:48
  between ten and eleven. My hopes were failing, but presently I heard his
• 4:34:53
  voice saying, to some one, wait for me a moment. I wished
• 4:34:56
  to see Aunt Martha. When he came came out. As he passed the
• 4:35:00
  window, I said, stop one moment and let me speak for my children.
• 4:35:06
  He started hesitated, and then passed on and went out of the gate.
• 4:35:10
  I closed the shutter I had partially opened, and sank down behind the
• 4:35:15
  barrel. I had suffered much, but seldom had I experienced a keener pang
• 4:35:19
  than I then felt. Had my children then become of so little consequence to
• 4:35:25
  him? And had he so little feeling for their wretched mother that he would
• 4:35:27
  not listen a moment while she pleaded for them. Painful memories were so busy
• 4:35:33
  within me that I forgot. I had not hooked the shutter till I heard
• 4:35:37
  some one opening it. I looked up. He had come back. Who
• 4:35:41
  called me? Said he? In a low tone. I did, I
• 4:35:45
  replied, Oh, Linda, said he. I knew your voice, but
• 4:35:49
  I was afraid to answer, lest my friend should hear me. Why do
• 4:35:52
  you come here? Is it possible you risk yourself in this house? They
• 4:35:56
  are mad to allow it. I shall expect to hear that you are all
• 4:36:00
  ruined. I did not wish to implicate him by letting him know my place
• 4:36:04
  of concealment. So I merely said I thought she would come to bid grandmother
• 4:36:08
  good bye, and so I came here to speak a few words to you
• 4:36:11
  about emancipating my children. Many changes may take place during the six months you
• 4:36:17
  are gone to Washington, and it does not seem right for you to expose
• 4:36:21
  them to the risk of such changes. I want nothing for myself. All
• 4:36:25
  I ask is that you will free my children, or authorize some friends to
• 4:36:29
  do it before you go. He promised he would do it, and also
• 4:36:33
  expressed to readiness to make any arrangements whereby eye could be purchased. I heard
• 4:36:40
  footsteps approaching and close the shutter hastily. I wanted to crawl back to my
• 4:36:44
  den without letting the family know what I had done, for I knew they
• 4:36:47
  would deem it very imprudent. But he stepped back into the house to tell
• 4:36:51
  my grandmother that he had spoken with me at the storeroom window, and to
• 4:36:53
  beg of her not to allow me to remain in the house overnight. He
• 4:36:57
  said it was the height of madness for me to be there, that we
• 4:37:00
  should certainly all be ruined. Luckily he was in too much of a hurry
• 4:37:03
  to wait for a reply, or the dear old woman would surely have told
• 4:37:07
  him all. I tried to go back to my den, but found it
• 4:37:11
  more difficult to go up than I had to come down. Now that my
• 4:37:15
  mission was fulfilled, the little strength that had supported me through it was gone,
• 4:37:19
  and I sank helpless on the floor. My grandmother, alarmed at the
• 4:37:23
  risk I had run, came into the storeroom in the dark and locked the
• 4:37:26
  door behind her. Linda, she whispered, where are you? I am
• 4:37:33
  here by the window. I replied. I couldn't have let him go away
• 4:37:37
  without emancipating the children. Who knows what may happen. Come, Come,
• 4:37:41
  child, said she. It won't do for you to stay here another minute.
• 4:37:47
  You've done wrong, But I can't blame you, poor thing. I
• 4:37:51
  told her I could not return without assistance, and she must call my uncle.
• 4:37:55
  Uncle Philip came, and pity prevented him from scolding me. He carried
• 4:37:59
  me back back to my dungeon, laid me tenderly on the bed, gave
• 4:38:03
  me some medicine, and asked me if there was anything more he could do.
• 4:38:07
  Then he went away, and I was left with my own thoughts,
• 4:38:11
  starless as the midnight darkness around me. My friends feared I should become a
• 4:38:15
  cripple for life. And I was so weary of my long imprisonment that had
• 4:38:21
  it not been for the hope of serving my children, I should have been
• 4:38:23
  thankful to die. But for their sakes I was willing to bear. On
• 4:38:30
  end of chapter twenty four Chapter twenty five competition in cunning, doctor Flint had
• 4:38:40
  not given me up. Every now and then he would say to my grandmother
• 4:38:44
  that I would yet come back and voluntarily surrender myself, and that when I
• 4:38:48
  did, I could be purchased by my relatives or any one who wished to
• 4:38:52
  buy me. I knew his cunning nature too well not to perceive that this
• 4:38:56
  was a trap laid for me, and so all my friends on stood it.
• 4:39:00
  I resolved to match my cunning against his cunning. In order to make
• 4:39:04
  him believe that I was in New York. I resolved to write him a
• 4:39:08
  letter dated from that place. I sent for my friend Peter, and asked
• 4:39:12
  him if he knew any trustworthy seafaring person who would carry such a letter to
• 4:39:17
  New York and put it in the post office there. He said he knew
• 4:39:19
  one that he would trust with his own life to the ends of the world.
• 4:39:23
  I reminded him that it was a hazardous thing for him to undertake.
• 4:39:26
  He said he knew it, but he was willing to do anything to help
• 4:39:30
  me. I expressed a wish for a New York paper to ascertain the names
• 4:39:34
  of some of the streets. He ran his hand into his pocket and said,
• 4:39:38
  here is half a one that was round a cap. I bought him
• 4:39:41
  a pedlar yesterday. I told him the letter would be ready the next evening.
• 4:39:45
  He bade me good bye, adding keep up your spirits, Linda,
• 4:39:49
  brighter days will come by and by. My uncle Philip kept watch over the
• 4:39:55
  gate until our brief interview was over. Early the next morning, I seated
• 4:39:59
  my myself near the little aperture to examine the newspaper. It was a piece
• 4:40:03
  of the New York Herald, and for once, the paper that systematically abuses
• 4:40:07
  the colored people was made to render them a service. Having obtained what information
• 4:40:11
  I wanted concerning streets and numbers, I wrote two letters, one to my
• 4:40:17
  grandmother, the other to doctor Flint. I reminded him how he, a
• 4:40:21
  gray headed man, had treated a helpless child who had been placed in his
• 4:40:25
  power, and what years of misery he had brought upon her. To my
• 4:40:30
  grandmother, I expressed a wish to have my children sent to me at the
• 4:40:33
  North, where I could teach them to respect themselves and set them a virtuous
• 4:40:37
  example, which a slave mother was not allowed to do at the South.
• 4:40:41
  I asked her to direct her answer to a certain street in Boston, as
• 4:40:45
  I did not live in New York, though I went there sometimes. I
• 4:40:48
  dated these letters ahead to allow for the time it would take to carry them,
• 4:40:52
  and sent a memorandum of the day to the messenger. When my friend
• 4:40:56
  came for the letters, I said, God bless and reward you Peter for
• 4:41:00
  this disinterested kindness. Pray be careful. If you are detected, both you
• 4:41:06
  and I will have to suffer dreadfully. I have not a relative who would
• 4:41:10
  dare to do it for me, he replied, you may trust to me,
• 4:41:14
  Linda. I don't forget that your father was my best friend, and
• 4:41:18
  I will be a friend to his children so long as God lets me live.
• 4:41:22
  It was necessary to tell my grandmother what I had done in order that
• 4:41:26
  she might be ready for the letter and prepared to hear what doctor Flint might
• 4:41:29
  say about my being at the north. She was sadly troubled. She felt
• 4:41:33
  sure mischief would come of it. I also told my plan to Aunt Nancy,
• 4:41:37
  in order that she might report to us what was said at doctor Flint's
• 4:41:41
  house. I whispered it to her through a crack, and she whispered back,
• 4:41:45
  I hope it will succeed. I shan't mind being a slave all my
• 4:41:48
  life if I can only see you and the children free. I had directed
• 4:41:53
  that my letters should be put into the New York Post Office on the twentieth
• 4:41:56
  of the month. On the evening of the twenty five, for my aunt
• 4:42:00
  came to say that doctor Flint and his wife had been talking in a low
• 4:42:03
  voice about a letter he had received, and that when he went to his
• 4:42:06
  office he promised to bring it when he came to tea. So I concluded
• 4:42:10
  I should hear my letter read. The next morning. I told my grandmother
• 4:42:14
  doctor Flint would be sure to come, and asked her to have him sit
• 4:42:17
  near a certain door and leave it open, that I might hear what he
• 4:42:19
  said. The next morning, I took my station within sound of that door
• 4:42:25
  and remained motionless as a statue. It was not long before I heard the
• 4:42:29
  gate slam and the well known footsteps enter the house. He seated himself in
• 4:42:33
  the chair that was placed for him, and said, well, Martha,
• 4:42:37
  I've brought you a letter from Linda. She has sent me a letter also.
• 4:42:41
  I know exactly where to find her. But I don't choose to go
• 4:42:45
  to Boston for her. I had rather she would come back of her own
• 4:42:48
  accord, in a respectable manner. Her uncle Philip is the best person to
• 4:42:52
  go for her. With him, she would feel perfectly free to act.
• 4:42:56
  I am willing to pay his expenses going and returning. She shall be sold
• 4:43:02
  to her friends. Her children are free, at least I suppose they are,
• 4:43:04
  and when you obtain her freedom, you'll make a happy family. I
• 4:43:08
  suppose, Martha, you have no objection to my reading to you the letter
• 4:43:11
  Linda has written to you. He broke the seal and I heard him read
• 4:43:17
  it. The old villain he had suppressed the letter. I wrote to Grandmother
• 4:43:22
  and prepared a substitute of his own, the report of which was as follows,
• 4:43:26
  Dear Grandmother, I have long wanted to write to you, but the
• 4:43:30
  disgraceful manner in which I left you and my children made me ashamed to do
• 4:43:33
  it. If you knew how much I have suffered since I ran away,
• 4:43:37
  you would pity and forgive me. I have purchased freedom at a dear rate.
• 4:43:41
  If any arrangement could be made for me to return to the South without
• 4:43:45
  being a slave, I would gladly come. If not, I beg of
• 4:43:48
  you to send my children to the North. I cannot live any longer without
• 4:43:52
  them. Let me know in time, and I will meet them in New
• 4:43:56
  York or Philadelphia, whichever place best suits my uncle's can nvenience? Write as
• 4:44:00
  soon as possible to your unhappy daughter, Linda. It is very much as
• 4:44:06
  I expected it would be, said the old hypocrite, rising to go.
• 4:44:10
  You see, the foolish girl has repented of her rashness and wants to return.
• 4:44:15
  We must help her to do it. Martha, talk with Philip about
• 4:44:18
  it. If he will go for her, she will trust to him and
• 4:44:21
  come back. I should like an answer tomorrow. Good morning, Martha.
• 4:44:26
  As he stepped out on the piazza, he stumbled over my little girl,
• 4:44:30
  ah Ellen, is that you? He said, in his most gracious manner.
• 4:44:34
  I didn't see you. How do you do? Pretty? Well,
• 4:44:38
  sir, she replied, I heard you tell grandmother that my mother is coming
• 4:44:42
  home. I want to see her. Yes, Ellen, I am going
• 4:44:47
  to bring her home very soon, rejoined he and you shall see her as
• 4:44:52
  much as you like, your little curly headed nigger. This was as good
• 4:44:56
  as a comedy to me, who had heard it all. But grand mother
• 4:45:00
  was frightened and distressed because the doctor wanted my uncle to go for me.
• 4:45:04
  The next evening, Doctor Flint called to talk the matter over. My uncle
• 4:45:08
  told him that from what he had heard of Massachusetts, he judged he should
• 4:45:11
  be mobbed if he went there after a runaway slave, all stuff and nonsense.
• 4:45:17
  Philip replied the doctor. Do you suppose I want you to kick up
• 4:45:21
  a row in Boston? The business can all be done quietly. Linda writes
• 4:45:26
  that she wants to come back. You are her relative and she would trust
• 4:45:29
  you. The case would be different if I went. She might object to
• 4:45:32
  coming with me, and the damned abolitionists, if they knew I was her
• 4:45:34
  master, would not believe me. If I told them she had begged to
• 4:45:37
  go back, they would get up a row, and I should not like
• 4:45:41
  to see Linda drag through the streets like a common negro. She has been
• 4:45:45
  very ungrateful to me for all my kindness, But I forgive her and want
• 4:45:49
  to act the part of a friend towards her. I have no wish to
• 4:45:53
  hold her as my slave. Her friends can buy her as soon as she
• 4:45:56
  arrives here. Finding that his argument failed to convince my uncle, the doctor
• 4:46:02
  let the cat out of the bag by saying that he had written to the
• 4:46:04
  Mayor of Boston to ascertain whether there was a person of my description at the
• 4:46:08
  street and number from which my letter was dated. He had omitted this date
• 4:46:12
  in the letter he had made up to read to my grandmother. If I
• 4:46:15
  had dated from New York, the old man would probably have made another journey
• 4:46:18
  to that city. But even in that dark region where knowledge is so carefully
• 4:46:22
  excluded from the slave I had heard enough about Massachusetts to come to the conclusion
• 4:46:27
  that slaveholders did not consider it a comfortable place to go in search of a
• 4:46:30
  runaway. That was before the Fugitive Slave law was passed, before Massachusetts had
• 4:46:37
  consented to become a nigger hunter for the South. My grandmother, who had
• 4:46:41
  become skittish by seeing her family always in danger, came to me with a
• 4:46:45
  very distressed countenance, and said, what will you do If the Mayor of
• 4:46:49
  Boston sends him word that you haven't been there, then he will suspect the
• 4:46:52
  letter was a trick, and maybe he'll find out something about it, and
• 4:46:56
  we shall all get into trouble. Oh, Linda, I wish you had
• 4:47:00
  never sent the letters. Don't worry yourself, grandmother, said I. The
• 4:47:04
  Mayor of Boston won't trouble himself to hunt niggers for doctor Flint. The letters
• 4:47:10
  will do good in the end. I shall get out of this dark hole
• 4:47:12
  some time or other. I hope you will, child, replied the good
• 4:47:18
  patient, old friend. You have been here a long time, almost five
• 4:47:22
  years. But whenever you do go, it will break your old grandmother's heart.
• 4:47:27
  I should be expecting every day to hear that you were brought back in
• 4:47:30
  irons and put in jail. God help you, poor child. Let us
• 4:47:34
  be thankful that some time or other we shall go where the wicked cease from
• 4:47:37
  troubling and the weary are at rest. My heart responded Amen. The fact
• 4:47:45
  that doctor Flint had written to the Mayor of Boston convinced me that he believed
• 4:47:48
  my letter to be genuine, and of course that he had no suspicion of
• 4:47:52
  my being anywhere in the vicinity. It was a great object to keep up
• 4:47:56
  this delusion, for it made me and my friends feel less anxious, and
• 4:48:00
  it would be very convenient whenever there was a chance to escape. I resolved
• 4:48:04
  therefore to continue to write letters from the North from time to time. Two
• 4:48:08
  or three weeks passed, and as no news came from the Mayor of Boston,
• 4:48:12
  Grandmother began to listen to my entreaty to be allowed to leave my cell
• 4:48:17
  sometimes and exercise my limbs to prevent my becoming a cripple. I was allowed
• 4:48:22
  to slip down into the small store room early in the morning and remain there
• 4:48:26
  a little while. The room was all filled up with barrels, except a
• 4:48:29
  small open space under my trap door. This faced the door, the upper
• 4:48:33
  part of which was of glass and purposely left uncurtained that the curious might look
• 4:48:37
  in. The air of this place was close, but it was so much
• 4:48:41
  better than the atmosphere of my cell that I dreaded to return. I came
• 4:48:45
  down as soon as it was light, and remained till eight o'clock, when
• 4:48:48
  people began to be about and there was danger that some one might come on
• 4:48:52
  the piazza. I had tried various applications to bring warmth and feeling into my
• 4:48:56
  limbs, but without avail. They were so numb and stiff that it was
• 4:49:00
  a painful effort to move, and had my enemies come upon me during the
• 4:49:04
  first mornings, I tried to exercise them a little in the small, unoccupied
• 4:49:08
  space of the storeroom. It would have been impossible for me to have escaped.
• 4:49:15
  End of Chapter twenty five. Chapter twenty six, important era in my
• 4:49:21
  brother's life. I missed the company and kind attentions of my brother William,
• 4:49:26
  who had gone to Washington with his master, mister Sands. We received several
• 4:49:30
  letters from him, written without any allusion to me, but expressed in such
• 4:49:34
  a manner that I knew he did not forget me. I disguised my hand
• 4:49:38
  and wrote to him in the same manner. It was a long session,
• 4:49:42
  and when it closed William wrote to inform us that mister Sands was going to
• 4:49:45
  the north, to be gone some time, and that he was to accompany
• 4:49:49
  him. I knew that his master had promised to give him his freedom,
• 4:49:52
  but no time had been specified. Would William trust to a slave's chances.
• 4:49:59
  I remembered we used to talk together in our young days about obtaining our freedom,
• 4:50:03
  and I thought it very doubtful whether he would come back to us.
• 4:50:07
  Grandmother received a letter from mister Sands saying that William had proved a most faithful
• 4:50:12
  servant, and he would also say a valued friend, that no mother had
• 4:50:17
  ever trained a better boy. He said he had traveled through the Northern States
• 4:50:21
  and Canada, and though the abolitionists had tried to decoy him away, they
• 4:50:26
  had never succeeded. He ended by saying they should be home shortly. We
• 4:50:30
  expected letters from William describing the novelties of his journey, but none came in
• 4:50:36
  time. It was reported that mister Sands would return late in the autumn,
• 4:50:40
  accompanied by a bride. Still no letters from William. I felt almost sure
• 4:50:45
  I should never see him again on southern soil. But had he no word
• 4:50:48
  of comfort to send to his friends at home, to the poor captive in
• 4:50:52
  her dungeon. My thoughts wandered through the dark past and over the uncertain future.
• 4:50:57
  Alone in my cell were no oh I but God's could see me.
• 4:51:00
  I wept bitter tears. How earnestly. I prayed to him to restore me
• 4:51:06
  to my children and enable me to be a useful woman at a good mother.
• 4:51:10
  At last, the day arrived for the return of the travelers. Grandmother
• 4:51:12
  had made loving preparations to welcome her absent boy back to the old Hearthstone.
• 4:51:18
  When the dinner table was laid, William's place occupied its old place. The
• 4:51:22
  stage coach went by empty. My grandmother waited dinner. She thought perhaps he
• 4:51:26
  was necessarily detained by his master. In my prison, I listened anxiously,
• 4:51:32
  expecting every moment to hear my dear brother's voice and step. In the course
• 4:51:36
  of the afternoon, a lad was sent by mister Sands to tell grandmother that
• 4:51:40
  William did not return with him, that the abolitionists had decoyed him away.
• 4:51:45
  But he begged her not to feel troubled about it, for he felt confident
• 4:51:48
  she would see William in a few days. As soon as he had time
• 4:51:52
  to reflect, he would come back, for he could never expect to be
• 4:51:56
  so well off at the North as he had been with him. If you
• 4:51:59
  had seen in the tears and heard the sobs, you would have thought the
• 4:52:02
  messenger had brought tidings of death instead of freedom. Poor old grandmother felt that
• 4:52:07
  she should never see her darling boy again, and I was selfish. I
• 4:52:11
  thought more of what I had lost than of what my brother had gained.
• 4:52:15
  A new anxiety began to trouble me. Mister Sands had expended a good deal
• 4:52:19
  of money, and would naturally feel irritated by the loss he had incurred.
• 4:52:25
  I greatly feared this might injure the prospects of my children, who were now
• 4:52:27
  becoming valuable property. I longed to have their emancipation made certain, the more
• 4:52:33
  so because their master and father was now married. I was too familiar with
• 4:52:37
  slavery not to know that promises made to slaves, though with kind intentions and
• 4:52:41
  sincere at the time, depend upon many contingencies for their fulfillment. Much as
• 4:52:48
  I wished William to be free, the step he had taken made me sad
• 4:52:51
  and anxious. The following Sabbath was calm and clear, so beautiful that it
• 4:52:56
  seemed like a sabbath in the eternal world. My grandmother brought the children out
• 4:53:00
  on the piazza that I might hear their voices. She thought it would comfort
• 4:53:03
  me in my despondency. And it did. They chatted merrily as only children
• 4:53:08
  can. Benny said, Grandmother, do you think Uncle will is gone for
• 4:53:14
  good? Won't he ever come back again? Maybe he'll find mother. If
• 4:53:18
  he does, won't she be glad to see him. Why don't you and
• 4:53:22
  Uncle Philip and all of us go and live where mother is. I should
• 4:53:26
  like it, wouldn't you? Ellen? Yes? I should like it,
• 4:53:30
  replied Allan. But how could we find her? Do you know the place?
• 4:53:33
  Grandmother? I don't remember how mother looked, do you, Benny.
• 4:53:37
  Benny was just beginning to describe me when they were interrupted by an old slave
• 4:53:41
  woman, a near neighbor named Aggie. This poor creature had witnessed the sale
• 4:53:45
  of her children and seen them carried off to parts unknown without any hopes of
• 4:53:51
  ever hearing from them again. She saw that my grandmother had been weeping and
• 4:53:56
  said, in a sympathizing tone, what's the matter, Aunt Marthy? Oh
• 4:54:00
  Aggie? She replied, it seems as if I shouldn't have any of my
• 4:54:04
  children or grandchildren left to hand me a drink when I'm dying and lay my
• 4:54:08
  old body in the ground. My boy didn't come back with mister Sands.
• 4:54:12
  He stayed at the north. Poor old Aggie clapped her hands for joy.
• 4:54:18
  Is that what you're crying for, she exclaimed, Get down on your knees
• 4:54:22
  and bless the Lord. I dun ower my poor children is an I never
• 4:54:26
  spect to know. You don't know where poor Linda's gone to, but you
• 4:54:30
  do know where her brother is. He's in free parts, and that's the
• 4:54:34
  right place. Don't murmur at the lord's doin's, but get down on your
• 4:54:37
  knees and thank him for his goodness. My selfishness was rebuked by what poor
• 4:54:42
  Aggie said. She rejoiced over the escape of one who was merely her fellow
• 4:54:48
  bondman, while his own sister was only thinking what his good fortune might cost
• 4:54:52
  her children. I knelt and prayed God to forgive me, and I thanked
• 4:54:56
  him from my heart that one of my family was saved from the grasp of
• 4:54:59
  slaves. It was not long before we received a letter from William. He
• 4:55:03
  wrote that mister Sands had always treated him kindly, and that he had tried
• 4:55:07
  to do his duty to him faithfully. But ever since he was a boy,
• 4:55:11
  he had longed to be free, and he had already gone through enough
• 4:55:15
  to convince him that he had better not lose the chance that offered. He
• 4:55:18
  concluded by saying, don't worry about me, dear grandmother. I shall think
• 4:55:22
  of you always, and it will spur me on to work hard and try
• 4:55:26
  to do right. When I've earned enough money to give you a home,
• 4:55:30
  perhaps you will come to the North and we can all live happy together.
• 4:55:33
  Mister Sands told my uncle Philip the particulars about William's leaving him. He said,
• 4:55:40
  I trusted him as if he were my own brother, and treated him
• 4:55:42
  as kindly. The abolitionists talked to him in several places, but I had
• 4:55:48
  no idea they could tempt him. However, I don't blame William. He's
• 4:55:52
  young and inconsiderate, and those northern rascals decoyed him. I must confess.
• 4:55:56
  The scamp was very bold about it. And met him coming down the steps
• 4:56:00
  of the Astor house with his trunk on his shoulder, and I asked him
• 4:56:03
  where he was going. He said he was going to change his old trunk.
• 4:56:07
  I told him it was rather shabby and asked if he didn't need some
• 4:56:11
  money. He said no, thanked me and went off. He did not
• 4:56:15
  return so soon as I expected, but I waited patiently. At last,
• 4:56:18
  I went to see if our trunks were packed ready for our journey. I
• 4:56:22
  found them locked, and a sealed note on the table informed me where I
• 4:56:25
  could find the keys. The fellow even tried to be religious. He wrote
• 4:56:29
  that he hoped God would always bless me and reward me for my kindness.
• 4:56:33
  That he was not unwilling to serve me, but he wanted to be a
• 4:56:34
  free man, and that if I thought he did wrong, he hoped I
• 4:56:37
  would forgive him. I intended to give him his freedom in five years.
• 4:56:42
  He might have trusted me. He has shown himself ungrateful, but I shall
• 4:56:47
  not go for him or send for him. I feel confident that he will
• 4:56:49
  soon return to me. I afterwards heard an account of the affair from William
• 4:56:53
  himself. He had not been urged away by abolitionists. He needed no information
• 4:56:59
  they could give him about slavery to stimulate his desire for freedom. He looked
• 4:57:03
  at his hands and remembered that they were once in irons. What security had
• 4:57:07
  he that they would not be so again. Mister Sands was kind to him,
• 4:57:11
  but he might indefinitely postpone the promise he had made to give him his
• 4:57:15
  freedom, he might come under pecuniary embarrassments and his property be seized by creditors,
• 4:57:21
  or he might die without making any arrangements in his favor. He had
• 4:57:25
  too often known such accidents to happen to slaves who had kind masters, and
• 4:57:30
  he wisely resolved to make sure of the present opportunity to own himself. He
• 4:57:34
  was scrupulous about taking any money from his master on false pretenses, so he
• 4:57:38
  sold his best clothes to pay for his passage to Boston. The slaveholders pronounced
• 4:57:44
  him a base, ungrateful wretch for thus requiting his master's indulgence. What would
• 4:57:48
  they have done under similar circumstances. When doctor Flynt's family heard that William had
• 4:57:55
  deserted mister Sands, they chuckled greatly over the news. Missus Flynn and made
• 4:58:00
  her usual manifestations of Christian feeling by saying, I'm glad of it. I
• 4:58:04
  hope he'll never get him again. I like to see people paid back for
• 4:58:07
  their own coin. I reckon Linda's children will have to pay for it.
• 4:58:11
  I should be glad to see them in the speculator's hands again, for I'm
• 4:58:15
  tired of seeing those little niggers march about the streets. End of chapter twenty
• 4:58:22
  six Chapter twenty seven New Destination for the children, Missus Flint proclaimed her intention
• 4:58:30
  of informing Missus Sands, who was the father of my children. She likewise
• 4:58:36
  proposed to tell her what an artful devil I was, that I had made
• 4:58:38
  a great deal of trouble in her family, that when mister Sands was at
• 4:58:42
  the North, she didn't doubt I had followed him in disguise and persuaded William
• 4:58:45
  to run away. She had some reason to entertain such an idea, for
• 4:58:49
  I had written from the North from time to time, and I dated my
• 4:58:53
  letters from various places. Many of them fell into doctor Flint's hands, as
• 4:58:57
  I had expected they would, But he must have come to the conclusion that
• 4:59:00
  I traveled about a good deal. He kept a close watch over my children,
• 4:59:06
  thinking they would eventually lead to my detection. A new and unexpected trial
• 4:59:11
  was in store for me. One day, when mister Sands and his wife
• 4:59:14
  were walking in the street, they met Benny. The lady took a fancy
• 4:59:18
  to him and exclaimed, what a pretty little negro. Whom does he belong
• 4:59:22
  to? Benny did not hear the answer, but he came home very indignant
• 4:59:26
  with the stranger lady because she had called him a negro. A few days
• 4:59:30
  afterwards, mister Sands called on my grandmother and told her he wanted her to
• 4:59:33
  take the children to his house. He said he had informed his wife of
• 4:59:37
  his relation to them, and told her that they were motherless and she wanted
• 4:59:41
  to see them. When he had gone, my grandmother came and asked what
• 4:59:45
  I would do. The question seemed a mockery. What could I do?
• 4:59:49
  They were mister Sand's slaves, and their mother was a slave whom he had
• 4:59:52
  represented to be dead. Perhaps he thought I was. I was too much
• 4:59:57
  pained and puzzled to come to any decision, and the children were carried without
• 5:00:02
  my knowledge. Missus Sands had a sister from Illinois staying with her. This
• 5:00:07
  lady, who had no children of her own, was so much pleased with
• 5:00:10
  Ellen that she offered to adopt her and bring her up as she would a
• 5:00:12
  daughter. Missus Sands wanted to take Benjamin. When grandmother reported this to me,
• 5:00:18
  I was tried almost beyond endurance. Was this all I was to gain
• 5:00:22
  by what I had suffered for the sake of having my children free? True?
• 5:00:26
  The prospect seemed fair, but I knew too well how lightly slaveholders held
• 5:00:32
  such parental relations. If pecuniary troubles should come, or if the new wife
• 5:00:37
  required more money than could conveniently be spared, my children might be thought of
• 5:00:41
  as a convenient means of raising funds. I had no trust in thee O
• 5:00:45
  slavery. Never should I know peace till my children were emancipated with all due
• 5:00:51
  formalities of law. I was too proud to ask mister Sands to do anything
• 5:00:56
  for my own benefit, but I could bring myself to become a supplicant for
• 5:01:00
  my children. I resolved to remind him of the promise he had made me,
• 5:01:03
  and to throw myself upon his honor for the performance of it. I
• 5:01:07
  persuaded my grandmother to go to him and tell him I was not dead,
• 5:01:11
  and that I earnestly entreated him to keep the promise he had made me,
• 5:01:14
  that I had heard of the recent proposals concerning my children and did not feel
• 5:01:18
  it easy to accept them. That he had promised to emancipate them, and
• 5:01:22
  it was time for him to redeem his pledge. I knew there was some
• 5:01:26
  risk in thus betraying that I was in the vicinity, But what will not
• 5:01:30
  a mother do for her children? He received the message with surprise and said,
• 5:01:34
  the children are free. I have never intended to claim them as slaves.
• 5:01:38
  Linda may decide their fate. In my opinion, they had better be
• 5:01:42
  sent to the North. I don't think they are quite safe here. Doctor
• 5:01:47
  Flint boasts that they are still in his power. He says they were his
• 5:01:49
  daughter's property, and as she was not of age when they were sold,
• 5:01:53
  the contract is not legally binding. So then, after all I had endured
• 5:01:59
  for their sakes, my poor children were between two fires, between my old
• 5:02:03
  master and their new master, and I was powerless. There was no protecting
• 5:02:08
  arm of the law for me to invoke. Mister Sands proposed that Ellen should
• 5:02:12
  go for the present to some of his relatives who had removed to Brooklyn Long
• 5:02:17
  Island. It was promised that she should be well taken care of and sent
• 5:02:21
  to school. I consented to it as the best arrangement I could make for
• 5:02:25
  her. My grandmother, of course, negotiated at all, and missus Sands
• 5:02:29
  knew of no other person in the transaction. She proposed that they should take
• 5:02:33
  Ellen with them to Washington and keep her till they had good chance of sending
• 5:02:37
  her with friends to Brooklyn. She had an infant daughter. I had had
• 5:02:41
  a glimpse of it as the nurse passed with it in her arms. It
• 5:02:44
  was not a pleasant thought to me that the bond woman's child should tend her
• 5:02:48
  free born sister. But there was no alternative. Ellen was made ready for
• 5:02:52
  the journey. Oh how it tried my heart to send her away, so
• 5:02:57
  young, alone among strangers, without a mother's love to shelter her from the
• 5:03:03
  storms of life, almost without memory of a mother. I doubted whether she
• 5:03:07
  and Benny would have for me the natural affection that children feel for a parent.
• 5:03:12
  I thought to myself that I might perhaps never see my daughter again,
• 5:03:17
  and I had a great desire that she might look upon me before she went,
• 5:03:21
  that she might take my image with her in her memory. It seemed
• 5:03:25
  to me cruel to have her brought to my dungeon. It was sorrow enough
• 5:03:27
  for her young heart to know that her mother was a victim of slavery,
• 5:03:30
  without seeing the wretched hiding place to which it had driven her. I begged
• 5:03:34
  permission to pass the last night in one of the open chambers with my little
• 5:03:38
  girl. They thought I was crazy to think of trusting such a young child
• 5:03:42
  with my perilous secret. I told them I had watched her character and I
• 5:03:47
  felt sure she would not betray me. That I was determined to have an
• 5:03:51
  interview, and if they would not facilitate it, I would take my own
• 5:03:53
  way to obtain it. They remonstrated against the rashness of such a proceeding,
• 5:03:59
  but finding they could not changed my purpose, they yielded. I slipped through
• 5:04:03
  the trap door into the store room, and my uncle kept watch at the
• 5:04:06
  gate while I passed into the piazza and went upstairs to the room I used
• 5:04:10
  to occupy. It was more than five years since I had seen it,
• 5:04:14
  and how the memories crowded on me. There I had taken shelter when my
• 5:04:18
  mistress drove me from her house. There came my old tyrant to mock,
• 5:04:22
  insult and curse me. There my children were first laid in my arms.
• 5:04:27
  There I had watched over them each day with a deeper and sadder love.
• 5:04:33
  There I had knelt to God in anguish of heart to forgive the wrong I
• 5:04:37
  had done. How vividly it all came back, and after this long,
• 5:04:41
  gloomy interval, I stood there such a wreck. In the midst of these
• 5:04:48
  meditations, I heard footsteps on the stairs. The door opened, and my
• 5:04:52
  uncle Philip came in, leading Allan by the hand. I put my arms
• 5:04:55
  round her and said, ellen, my dear child, I am your mother.
• 5:05:02
  She drew back a little and looked at me, and then with sweet
• 5:05:04
  confidence, she laid her cheek against mine, and I folded her to the
• 5:05:08
  heart that had been so long desolated. She was the first to speak,
• 5:05:15
  raising her head, she said, inquiringly, you really are my mother.
• 5:05:19
  I told her I really was. That during all the long time she had
• 5:05:23
  not seen me, I had loved her most tenderly, and that now she
• 5:05:27
  was going away, I wanted to see her and talk with her that she
• 5:05:30
  might remember me. With a sob in her voice, she said, I'm
• 5:05:34
  glad you've come to see me, But why didn't you ever come before?
• 5:05:38
  Benny and I have wanted so much to see you. He remembers you,
• 5:05:42
  and sometimes he tells me about you. Why didn't you come home when doctor
• 5:05:47
  Flint went to bring you. I answered, I couldn't come before, dear,
• 5:05:52
  But now that I am with you, tell me whether you like to
• 5:05:55
  go away. I don't know, said she crying. Grandmother says, I
• 5:06:00
  ought not to cry. That I am going to a good place where I
• 5:06:03
  can learn to read and write, and that by and by I can write
• 5:06:06
  her a letter. But I shan't have Benny or grandmother or Uncle Philip or
• 5:06:11
  anybody to love me. Can't you go with me? Oh? Do go,
• 5:06:15
  dear mother? I told her I couldn't go now, but some time
• 5:06:18
  I would come to her, and then she and Benny and I would live
• 5:06:22
  together and have happy times. She wanted to run and bring Benny to see
• 5:06:26
  me now. I told her he was going to the north before long with
• 5:06:29
  Uncle Philip, and then I would come to see him before he went away.
• 5:06:33
  I asked if she would like to have me stay all night and sleep
• 5:06:36
  with her. Oh, yes, she replied. Then, turning to her
• 5:06:40
  uncle, she said pleadingly, may I stay? Please? Uncle, she
• 5:06:44
  is my own mother. He laid his hand on her head and said,
• 5:06:48
  solemnly, Ellen, this is the secret you have promised grandmother never to tell.
• 5:06:52
  If you ever speak of it to anybody, they will never let you
• 5:06:56
  see your grandmother again, and your mother can never come to Brooklyn. Uncle.
• 5:07:00
  She replied, I will never tell. He told her she might stay
• 5:07:06
  with me, And when he had gone, I took her in my arms
• 5:07:08
  and told her I was a slave, and that was the reason she must
• 5:07:11
  never say she had seen me. I exhorted her to be a good child,
• 5:07:15
  to try to please the people where she was going, and that God
• 5:07:18
  would raise her up. Friends. I told her to say her prayers and
• 5:07:22
  remember always to pray for her poor mother, and that God would permit us
• 5:07:26
  to meet again. She wept, and I did not check her tears.
• 5:07:30
  Perhaps she would never again have a chance to pour her tears into a mother's
• 5:07:33
  bosom. All night she nestled in my arms, and I had no inclination
• 5:07:37
  to slumber. The moments were too precious to lose any of them. Once,
• 5:07:42
  when I thought she was asleep, I kissed her forehead softly, and
• 5:07:45
  she said, I am not asleep, dear mother. Before dawn they came
• 5:07:52
  to take me back to my den. I drew aside the window curtain to
• 5:07:56
  take a last look of my child. The moonlight shone on her face,
• 5:08:00
  and I bent over her as I had done years before that wretched night.
• 5:08:03
  When I ran away, I hugged her close to my throbbing heart and tears,
• 5:08:07
  too sad for such young eyes to shed, flowed down her cheeks as
• 5:08:11
  she gave her last kiss and whispered in my ear mother, I will never
• 5:08:17
  tell, and she never did. When I got back to my den,
• 5:08:21
  I threw myself on the bed and wept there alone in the darkness. It
• 5:08:26
  seemed as if my heart would burst. When the time for Ellen's departure drew
• 5:08:30
  nigh, I could hear neighbors and friends saying to her, good bye,
• 5:08:34
  Ellen. I hope your poor mother will find you out. Won't you be
• 5:08:37
  glad to see her? She replied, yes, ma'am, and they little
• 5:08:42
  dreamed of the weighty secret that weighed down her young heart. She was an
• 5:08:47
  affectionate child, but naturally very reserved except with those she loved, and I
• 5:08:51
  felt secure that my secret would be safe with her. I heard the gate
• 5:08:55
  close after her, with such feelings as only a slave mother can experience.
• 5:09:00
  During the day, my meditations were very sad. Sometimes I feared I had
• 5:09:03
  been very selfish not to give up all claim to her and to let her
• 5:09:07
  go to Illinois and be adopted by missus Sand's sister. It was my experience
• 5:09:11
  of slavery that decided me against it. I feared that circumstances might arise that
• 5:09:17
  would cause her to be sent back. I felt confident that I should go
• 5:09:21
  to New York myself, and then I should be able to watch over her
• 5:09:23
  and in some degree protect her. Doctor Flynt's family knew nothing of the proposed
• 5:09:29
  arrangement till after Ellen was gone, and the news displeased them greatly. Missus
• 5:09:33
  Flint called on Missus Sand's sister to inquire into the matter. She expressed her
• 5:09:38
  opinion very freely as to the respect mister Sand showed for his wife and for
• 5:09:42
  his own character in acknowledging those young niggers, and as for sending Ellen away,
• 5:09:48
  she pronounced it to be just as much stealing as it would be for
• 5:09:51
  him to come and take a piece of furniture out of her parlor. She
• 5:09:55
  said her daughter was not of age to sign the bill of sale, and
• 5:09:57
  the children were her property, and when she became of age or was married,
• 5:10:00
  she could take them wherever she could lay hands on them. Miss Emily
• 5:10:06
  Flint, the little girl to whom I had been bequeathed, was now in
• 5:10:08
  her sixteenth year. Her mother considered it all right and honorable for her or
• 5:10:12
  her future husband to steal my children. But she did not understand how anybody
• 5:10:18
  could hold up their heads in respectable society after they had purchased their own children,
• 5:10:22
  as mister Sands had done. Doctor Flint said very little. Perhaps he
• 5:10:26
  thought that Benny would be less likely to be sent away if he kept quiet.
• 5:10:30
  One of my letters that fell into his hands was dated from Canada,
• 5:10:33
  and he seldom spoke of me. Now, this state of things enabled me
• 5:10:37
  to slip down into the store room more frequently, where I could stand upright
• 5:10:41
  and move my limbs more freely. Days, weeks, and months passed and
• 5:10:47
  there came no news of Ellen. I sent a letter to Brooklyn, written
• 5:10:51
  in my grandmother's name, to inquire whether she had arrived there. Answer was
• 5:10:55
  returned that she had not. I wrote to her in Washington, but no
• 5:11:00
  notice was taken of it. There was one person there who ought to have
• 5:11:03
  had some sympathy with the anxiety of the child's friends at home. But the
• 5:11:07
  links of such relations as he had formed with me are easily broken and cast
• 5:11:11
  away as rubbish. Yet how protectingly and persuasively he once talked to the poor
• 5:11:15
  helpless slave girl, and how entirely. I trusted him, But now suspicions
• 5:11:21
  darkened my mind. Was my child dead? Or had they deceived me and
• 5:11:26
  sold her? If the secret memoirs of many members of Congress should be published,
• 5:11:30
  curious details would be unfolded. I once saw a letter from a member
• 5:11:34
  of Congress to a slave who was the mother of six of his children.
• 5:11:38
  He wrote to request that she would send her children away from the Great House
• 5:11:41
  before his return, as he expected to be accompanied by friends. The woman
• 5:11:45
  could not read, and was obliged to employ another to read the letter.
• 5:11:48
  The existence of the colored children did not trouble this gentleman. It was only
• 5:11:52
  the fear that friends might recognize in their features a resemblance to him. At
• 5:11:59
  the end of six months, a letter came to my grandmother from Brooklyn.
• 5:12:03
  It was written by a young lady in the family and announced that Ellen had
• 5:12:07
  just arrived. It contained the following message from her. I do try to
• 5:12:11
  do just as you told me to, and I pray for you every night
• 5:12:15
  and morning. I understood that these words were meant for me, and they
• 5:12:18
  were a balm to my heart. The writer closed her letter by saying Ellen
• 5:12:22
  is a nice little girl and we shall like to have her with us.
• 5:12:26
  My cousin, mister Sands, has given her to me to be my little
• 5:12:29
  waiting maid. I shall send her to school, and I hope some day
• 5:12:32
  she will write to you herself. This letter perplexed and troubled me. Had
• 5:12:37
  my child's father merely placed her there till she was old enough to support herself,
• 5:12:41
  or had he given her to his cousin as a piece of property.
• 5:12:45
  If the last idea was correct, his cousin might return to the South at
• 5:12:48
  any time, And told Ellen as a slave. I tried to put away
• 5:12:52
  from me the painful thought that such a foul wrong could have been done to
• 5:12:56
  us. I said to myself, surely there must be some justice in man.
• 5:13:00
  And then I remembered with a sigh, how slavery perverted all the natural
• 5:13:04
  feelings of the human heart. It gave me a pang to look on my
• 5:13:08
  light hearted boy. He believed himself free, and to have him brought under
• 5:13:12
  the yoke of slavery would be more than I could bear. How I longed
• 5:13:18
  to have him safely out of the reach of its power. End of Chapter
• 5:13:22
  twenty seven. Chapter twenty eight, Aunt Nancy, I have mentioned my great
• 5:13:29
  aunt, who was a slave in doctor Flint's family, and who had been
• 5:13:33
  my refuge during the shameful persecutions I suffered from him. This aunt had been
• 5:13:37
  married at twenty years of age, that is as far as slaves can marry.
• 5:13:41
  She had the consent of her master and mistress, and a clergyman performed
• 5:13:45
  the ceremony, but it was a mere form without any legal value. Her
• 5:13:52
  master or mistress could annull it any day they pleased. She had always slept
• 5:13:56
  on the floor in the entry near Missus Flint's chamber door, that she might
• 5:14:00
  withan call. When she was married, she was told she might have the
• 5:14:03
  use of a small room in an outhouse. Her mother and her husband furnished
• 5:14:07
  it. He was a seafaring man and was allowed to sleep there when he
• 5:14:11
  was at home, But on the wedding evening the bride was ordered to her
• 5:14:15
  old post on the entry floor. Missus Flint at that time had no children,
• 5:14:19
  but she was expecting to be a mother, and if she should want
• 5:14:22
  a drink of water in the night, what could she do without her slave
• 5:14:26
  to bring it. So my aunt was compelled to lie at her door until
• 5:14:30
  one midnight. She was forced to leave to give premature birth to a child.
• 5:14:34
  In a fortnight, she was required to resume her place on the entry
• 5:14:37
  floor because Missus Flint's babe needed her attentions. She kept her station there through
• 5:14:42
  summer and winter, until she had given premature birth to six children, and
• 5:14:48
  all the while she was employed as night nurse to Missus Flint's children. Finally,
• 5:14:52
  toiling all day and being deprived of rest at night completely broke down her
• 5:14:56
  constitution, and Doctor Flint declared it was impossible she could ever become the mother
• 5:15:02
  of a living child. The fear of losing so valuable a servant by death
• 5:15:06
  now induced them to allow her to sleep in her little room in the outhouse,
• 5:15:10
  except when there was sickness in the family. She afterwards had two feeble
• 5:15:14
  babes, one of whom died in a few days and the other in four
• 5:15:18
  weeks. I well remember her patient sorrow as she held the last dead baby
• 5:15:22
  in her arms. I wish it could have lived, she said. It
• 5:15:26
  is not the will of God that any of my children should live, but
• 5:15:30
  I will try to be fit to meet their little spirits in heaven. Aunt
• 5:15:36
  Nancy was housekeeper and waiting maid in doctor Flint's family. Indeed, she was
• 5:15:40
  the factotum of the household. Nothing went on well without her. She was
• 5:15:45
  my mother's twin sister, and as far as was in her power, she
• 5:15:48
  supplied a mother's place to us orphans. I slept with her all the time
• 5:15:52
  I lived in my old master's house, and the bond between us was very
• 5:15:56
  strong. When my friends tried to discourage me from running away, she always
• 5:16:00
  encouraged me when they thought I had better return and ask my master's pardon.
• 5:16:04
  Because there was no possibility of escape. She sent me word never to yield.
• 5:16:10
  She said, if I persevered, I might perhaps gain the freedom of
• 5:16:12
  my children, And even if I perished in doing it, that was better
• 5:16:17
  than to leave them to groan under the same persecutions that had blighted my own
• 5:16:21
  life. After I was shut up in my dark cell, she stole away
• 5:16:25
  whenever she could to bring me the news and say something cheering. How often
• 5:16:30
  did I kneel down to listen to her words of consolation, whispered through a
• 5:16:33
  crack. I am old and have not long to live, she used to
• 5:16:38
  say. And I could die happy if I could only see you and the
• 5:16:41
  children free. You must pray to God, Linda, as I do for
• 5:16:45
  you, that He will lead you out of the darkness. I would beg
• 5:16:49
  her not to worry herself on my account that there was an end of all
• 5:16:52
  suffering sooner or later, and that whether I lived in chains or in freedom,
• 5:16:56
  I should always remember her as the good friend who had been the comfort
• 5:17:00
  of my life. A word from her always strengthened me, and not me
• 5:17:03
  only the whole family relied upon her judgment and were guided by her advice.
• 5:17:10
  I had been in my cell six years when my grandmother was summoned to the
• 5:17:12
  bedside of this her last remaining daughter. She was very ill, and they
• 5:17:18
  said she would die. Grandmother had not entered doctor Flint's house for several years.
• 5:17:23
  They had treated her cruelly, but she thought nothing of that. Now
• 5:17:27
  she was grateful for permission to watch by the death bed of her child.
• 5:17:32
  They had always been devoted to each other, and now they sat looking into
• 5:17:34
  each other's eyes, longing to speak of the secret that had weighed so much
• 5:17:38
  on the hearts of both. My aunt had been stricken with paralysis. She
• 5:17:44
  lived but two days, and the last day she was speechless before she lost
• 5:17:49
  the power of utterance. She told her mother not to grieve, she could
• 5:17:52
  not speak to her, that she would try to hold up her hand to
• 5:17:56
  let her know that all was well with her. Even the harm hearted doctor
• 5:18:00
  was a little softened when he saw the dying eyes moistened for a moment,
• 5:18:04
  as he said, she had always been a faithful servant and they should never
• 5:18:07
  be able to supply her place. Missus Flint took to her bed, quite
• 5:18:12
  overcome by the shock. While my grandmother sat alone with the dead, the
• 5:18:18
  doctor came in leading his youngest son, who had always been a great pet
• 5:18:22
  with Aunt Nancy and was much attached to her. Martha said he, Aunt
• 5:18:27
  Nancy loved this child, and when he comes where you are, I hope
• 5:18:32
  you will be kind to him for her sake. She replied, your wife
• 5:18:36
  was my foster child, doctor Flint, the foster sister of my poor Nancy,
• 5:18:41
  and you little know me if you think I can feel anything but good
• 5:18:44
  will for her children. I wish the past could be forgotten and that we
• 5:18:48
  might never think of it, said he, and that Linda would come to
• 5:18:52
  supply her aunt's place. She would be worth more to us than all the
• 5:18:56
  money that could be paid for her. I wish it for your sake.
• 5:19:00
  Also, Martha, now that Nancy is taken away from you, she would
• 5:19:03
  be a great comfort to your old age. He knew he was touching a
• 5:19:07
  tender chord. Almost choking with grief, my grandmother replied, it was not
• 5:19:12
  I that drove Linda away. My grandchildren are gone, and of my nine
• 5:19:17
  children, only one is left. God help me to me. The death
• 5:19:23
  of this kind relative was an inexpressible sorrow. I knew that she had been
• 5:19:27
  slowly murdered, and I felt that my troubles had helped to finish the work.
• 5:19:33
  After I heard of her illness, I listened constantly to hear what news
• 5:19:36
  was brought from the Great House, and the thought that I could not go
• 5:19:38
  to her made me utterly miserable. At last, as Uncle Philip came into
• 5:19:42
  the house, I heard some one inquire how is she, and he answered,
• 5:19:48
  she is dead. My little cell seemed whirling round, and I knew
• 5:19:52
  nothing more till I opened my eyes and found Uncle Philip bending over me.
• 5:19:56
  I had no need to ask any questions. He whispered, Linda, she
• 5:20:02
  died happy. I could not weep. My fixed gaze troubled him. Don't
• 5:20:07
  look so he said, don't add to my poor mother's trouble. Remember how
• 5:20:12
  much she has to bear, and that we ought to do all we can
• 5:20:15
  to comfort her. Ah. Yes, that blessed old grandmother, who for
• 5:20:22
  seventy three years had borne the pelting storms of a slave mother's life. She
• 5:20:26
  did indeed need consolation. Missus Flint had rendered her poor foster sister childless,
• 5:20:33
  apparently without any compunction, and with cruel selfishness, had ruined her health by
• 5:20:37
  years of incessant, unrequited toil and broken rest. But now she became very
• 5:20:44
  sentimental. I suppose she thought it would be a beautiful illustration of the attachment
• 5:20:48
  existing between slaveholder and slave if the body of her old, worn out servant
• 5:20:52
  was buried at her feet. She sent for the clergyman and asked if he
• 5:20:56
  had any objection to burying Aunt Nancy in the doctor's family burial place. No
• 5:21:02
  colored person had ever been allowed internment in the white people's burying ground, and
• 5:21:06
  the minister knew that all the deceased of your family reposed together in the old
• 5:21:08
  graveyard of the slaves. He therefore replied, I have no objection to complying
• 5:21:15
  with your wish, But perhaps Aunt Nancy's mother may have some choice as to
• 5:21:18
  where her remains shall be deposited. It had never occurred to Missus Flint that
• 5:21:22
  slaves could have any feelings. When my grandmother was consulted, she had once
• 5:21:26
  said she wanted Nancy to lie with all the rest of her family and where
• 5:21:30
  her own old body would be buried. Missus Flint graciously complied with her wish,
• 5:21:36
  though she said it was painful to her to have Nancy buried away from
• 5:21:38
  her. She might have added, with touching pathos, I was so long
• 5:21:44
  used to sleep with her lying near me on the entry floor. My uncle
• 5:21:48
  Philip asked permission to bury his sister at his own expense, and slaveholders are
• 5:21:52
  always ready to grant such favors to slaves and their relatives. The arrangements were
• 5:21:57
  very plain, but perfectly ReSpectacle. She was buried on the Sabbath, and
• 5:22:02
  Missus Flint's minister read the funeral service. There was a large concourse of colored
• 5:22:07
  people, bond and free, and a few white persons who had always been
• 5:22:11
  friendly to our family. Doctor Flint's carriage was in the procession, and when
• 5:22:15
  the body was deposited in its humble resting, place. The mistress dropped a
• 5:22:18
  tear and returned to her carriage, probably thinking she had performed her duty nobly.
• 5:22:25
  It was talked of by the slaves as a mighty grand funeral. Northern
• 5:22:27
  travelers passing through the place might have described this tribute of respect to the humble
• 5:22:32
  dead as a beautiful feature in the patriarchal institution, a touching proof of the
• 5:22:37
  attachment between slaveholders and their servants, and tender heart at missus Flint would have
• 5:22:42
  confirmed this impression with handkerchief at her eyes. We could have told them a
• 5:22:47
  different story. We would have given them a chapter of wrongs and sufferings that
• 5:22:52
  would have touched their hearts if they had any hearts to feel. For the
• 5:22:55
  colored people. We could have told them how the poor old slave mother had
• 5:22:59
  toiled year after year to earn eight hundred dollars to buy her son, Philip's
• 5:23:03
  right to his own earnings, and how that same Philip paid the expenses of
• 5:23:07
  the funeral, which they regarded as doing so much credit to the master.
• 5:23:11
  We could also have told them of a poor, blighted young creature shut up
• 5:23:15
  in a living grave for years to avoid the tortures that would be inflicted upon
• 5:23:18
  her if she ventured to come out and look on the face of her departed
• 5:23:22
  friend. All this and much more I thought of as I sat at my
• 5:23:27
  loophole, waiting for the family to return from the grave, sometimes weeping,
• 5:23:33
  sometimes falling asleep, dreaming strange dreams of the dead and the living. It
• 5:23:38
  was sad to witness the grief of my bereaved grandmother. She had always been
• 5:23:42
  strong to bear, and now as ever, religious faith supported her. But
• 5:23:47
  her dark life had become still darker, and age and trouble were leaving deep
• 5:23:52
  traces on her withered face. She had four places to knock for me to
• 5:23:56
  come to the trap door, and each place had a different meaning. She
• 5:24:00
  now came oftener than she had done, and talked to me of her dead
• 5:24:03
  daughter, while tears trickled slowly down her furrowed cheeks. I said all I
• 5:24:07
  could to comfort her, but it was a sad reflection the instead of being
• 5:24:12
  able to help her, I was a constant source of anxiety and trouble.
• 5:24:17
  The poor old back was fitted to its burden. It bent under it,
• 5:24:22
  but did not break. End of Chapter twenty eight. Chapter twenty nine,
• 5:24:30
  Preparations for Escape. I hardly expect that the reader will credit me when I
• 5:24:36
  affirm that I lived in that little dismal hole, almost deprived of light and
• 5:24:41
  air, and with no space to move my limbs, for nearly seven years.
• 5:24:45
  But it is a fact, and to me a sad one even now,
• 5:24:49
  for my body still suffers from the effects of that long imprisonment, to
• 5:24:53
  say nothing of my soul. Members of my family, now living in New
• 5:24:57
  York and Boston, can test to the truth of what I say. Countless
• 5:25:03
  were the nights that I sat late at the little loopholes scarcely large enough to
• 5:25:06
  give me a glimpse of one twinkling star. There, heard the patrols and
• 5:25:11
  slave hunters conferring together about the capture of runaways, well knowing how rejoiced they
• 5:25:15
  would be to catch me. Season after season, year after year. I
• 5:25:21
  peeped at my children's faces and heard their sweet voices, with a heart yearning
• 5:25:26
  all the while to say, your mother is here. Sometimes it appeared to
• 5:25:30
  me as if ages had ruled away since I entered upon that gloomy, monotonous
• 5:25:34
  existence. At times I was stupefied and listless. At other times I became
• 5:25:40
  very impatient to know when these dark years would end, and I should again
• 5:25:44
  be allowed to feel the sunshine and breathe the pure air. After Ellen left
• 5:25:49
  us, this feeling increased. Mister Sands had agreed that Benny might go to
• 5:25:53
  the North whenever his uncle Philip could go with him, and I was anxious
• 5:25:56
  to be there also to watch over my children and protect them so far as
• 5:26:00
  I was able. Moreover, I was likely to be drowned out of my
• 5:26:04
  den if I remained much longer, for the slight roof was getting badly out
• 5:26:08
  of her pair, and Uncle Philip was afraid to remove the shingles lest some
• 5:26:12
  one should catch a glimpse of me. When storms occurred in the night,
• 5:26:17
  they spread mats and bits of carpet which in the morning appeared to have been
• 5:26:21
  laid out to dry, but to cover the roof in the daytime might have
• 5:26:23
  attracted attention. Consequently, my clothes and bedding were often drenched, a process
• 5:26:30
  by which the pains and aches in my cramped and stiffened limbs were greatly increased.
• 5:26:36
  I revolved various plans of escape in my mind, which I sometimes imparted
• 5:26:40
  to my grandmother when she came to whisper with me at the trap door.
• 5:26:44
  The kind hearted old woman had an intense sympathy for runaways. She had known
• 5:26:48
  too much of the cruelties inflicted on those who were captured. Her memory always
• 5:26:52
  flew back at once the sufferings of her bright and handsome son, Benjamin,
• 5:26:56
  the youngest and dearest of her flock. So whenever I alluded to the subject,
• 5:27:00
  she would grown out, Oh don't think of it, child, you'll
• 5:27:03
  break my heart. I had no good old aunt Nancy now to encourage me,
• 5:27:10
  but my brother William and my children were continually beckoning me to the north,
• 5:27:15
  and now I must go back a few months. In my story I
• 5:27:18
  have stated that the first of January was a time for selling slaves or leasing
• 5:27:22
  them out to new masters. If time were counted by heart throbs, the
• 5:27:26
  poor slaves might reckon years of suffering during that festival so joyous to the free.
• 5:27:33
  On the New Year's Day, preceding my aunt's death, one of my
• 5:27:36
  friends named Fanny, was to be sold at auction to pay her master's debts.
• 5:27:41
  My thoughts were with her during all the day, and at night I
• 5:27:42
  anxiously inquired what had been her fate. I was told that she had been
• 5:27:47
  sold to one master, and her four little girls to another master, far
• 5:27:51
  distant that she had escaped from her purchaser and was not to be found.
• 5:27:56
  Her mother was the old Aggie I have spoken of. She lived in a
• 5:28:00
  small tenement belonging to my grandmother, and built on the same lot with her
• 5:28:03
  own house. Her dwelling was searched and watched, and that brought the patrols
• 5:28:07
  so near me that I was obliged to keep very close in my den.
• 5:28:11
  The hunters were somehow eluded, and not long afterwards Benny accidentally caught sight of
• 5:28:17
  Fanny in her mother's hut. He told his grandmother, who charged him never
• 5:28:21
  to speak of it, explaining to him the frightful consequences, and he never
• 5:28:25
  betrayed the trust. Aggie Little dreamed that my grandmother knew where her daughter was
• 5:28:30
  concealed, and that the stooping form of her old neighbor was bending under a
• 5:28:33
  similar burden of anxiety and fear. But these dangerous secrets deepened the sympathy between
• 5:28:38
  the two old persecuted mothers. My friend Fanny and I remained many weeks hidden
• 5:28:44
  within call of each other, but she was unconscious of the fact I longed
• 5:28:48
  to have her share my den, which seemed a more secure retreat than her
• 5:28:52
  own. But I had brought so much trouble on my grandmother that it seemed
• 5:28:56
  wrong to ask her to incur greater risks. My restlessness increased. I had
• 5:29:00
  lived too long in bodily pain and anguish of spirit. Always I was in
• 5:29:04
  dread that by some accident or some contrivance, slavery would succeed in snatching my
• 5:29:10
  children from me. This thought drove me nearly frantic, and I determined to
• 5:29:15
  steer for the North Star at all hazards. At this crisis, providence opened
• 5:29:19
  an unexpected way for me to escape. My friend Peter came one evening and
• 5:29:25
  asked to speak with me. Your day has come, Linda, said he.
• 5:29:29
  I have found a chance for you to go to the Free States.
• 5:29:32
  You have a fortnight to decide. The news seemed too good to be true,
• 5:29:36
  but Peter explained his arrangements and told me all that was necessary was for
• 5:29:40
  me to say I would go. I was going to answer him with a
• 5:29:42
  joyful yes. When the thought of Benny came to my mind. I told
• 5:29:47
  him The temptation was exceedingly strong, but I was terribly afraid of doctor Flynn's
• 5:29:51
  alleged power over my child, and that I could not go and leave him
• 5:29:53
  behind. Peter remonstrated earnestly. He said such a good chance might never occur
• 5:30:00
  again, that Benny was free and could be sent to me, and that
• 5:30:03
  for the sake of my children's welfare, I ought not to hesitate a moment.
• 5:30:07
  I told him I would consult with Uncle Philip. My uncle rejoiced in
• 5:30:11
  the plan and bade me go by all means. He promised, if his
• 5:30:14
  life was spared, that he would either bring or send my son to me
• 5:30:17
  as soon as I reached a place of safety. I resolved to go,
• 5:30:21
  but thought nothing had better be said to my grandmother till very near the time
• 5:30:25
  of departure. But my uncle thought she would feel it more keenly if I
• 5:30:27
  left here. So suddenly. I will reason with her, said he,
• 5:30:32
  and convince her how necessary it is not only for your sake, but for
• 5:30:36
  hers also. You cannot be blind to the fact that she is sinking under
• 5:30:40
  her burdens. I was not blind to it. I knew that my concealment
• 5:30:45
  was an ever present source of anxiety, and that the older she grew the
• 5:30:48
  more nervously fearful she was of discovery. My uncle talked with her and finally
• 5:30:53
  succeeded in persuading her that it was absolutely necessary for me to seize the chance
• 5:30:59
  so unexpectedly offered. The anticipation of being a free woman proved almost too much
• 5:31:03
  for my weak frame. The excitement stimulated me and at the same time bewildered
• 5:31:08
  me. I made busy preparations for my journey and for my son to follow
• 5:31:12
  me. I resolved to have an interview with him before I went, that
• 5:31:17
  I might give him cautions and advice, and tell him how anxiously I should
• 5:31:21
  be waiting for him at the North. Grandmother stole up to me as often
• 5:31:23
  as possible to whisper words of counsel. She insisted upon writing to doctor Flint
• 5:31:29
  as soon as I arrived in the Free States and asking him to sell me
• 5:31:32
  to her. She said she would sacrifice her house and all she had in
• 5:31:36
  the world for the sake of having me safe with my children in any part
• 5:31:38
  of the world, if she could only live to know that she could die
• 5:31:42
  in peace. I promised the dear old, faithful friend that I would write
• 5:31:48
  to her as soon as I arrived and put the letter in a safe way
• 5:31:49
  to reach her. But in my own mind I resolved that not another cent
• 5:31:53
  of her hard earnings should be spent to pay rapacious slaveholders for what they called
• 5:31:59
  their property. And even if I had not been unwilling to buy what I
• 5:32:03
  had already right to possess, common humanity would have prevented me from accepting the
• 5:32:07
  generous offer at the expense of turning my aged relative out of house and home
• 5:32:11
  when she was trembling on the brink of the grave. I was to escape
• 5:32:15
  in a vessel, but I forbear to mention any further particulars. I was
• 5:32:19
  in readiness, but the vessel was unexpectedly detained. Several days meantime, news
• 5:32:25
  came to town of a most horrible murder committed on a fugitive slave named James
• 5:32:30
  Charity. The mother of this unfortunate young man had been an old acquaintance of
• 5:32:33
  ours. I have told the shocking particulars of his death in my description of
• 5:32:37
  some of the neighboring slaveholders. My grandmother, always nervously sensitive about runaways,
• 5:32:42
  was terribly frightened. She felt sure that a similar fate awaited me if I
• 5:32:48
  did not desist from my enterprise. She sobbed and groaned and entreated me not
• 5:32:52
  to go. Her excessive fear was somewhat contagious, and my heart was not
• 5:32:56
  proof against her extreme agony. I was grievously disappointed, but I promised to
• 5:33:03
  relinquish my project. When my friend Peter was apprised of this, he was
• 5:33:07
  both disappointed and vexed. He said that, judging from our past experience,
• 5:33:11
  it would be a long time before I had another such chance to throw away.
• 5:33:15
  I told him it need not be thrown away, that I had a
• 5:33:18
  friend concealed near by who would be glad enough to take the place that had
• 5:33:21
  been provided for me. I told him about poor Fanny, and the kind
• 5:33:25
  hearted noble fellow who never turned his back upon anybody in distress, white or
• 5:33:30
  black. Expressed his readiness to help her. Aggie was much surprised when she
• 5:33:33
  found that we knew her secret. She was rejoiced to hear of such a
• 5:33:37
  chance for Fanny, and arrangements were made for her to go on board the
• 5:33:41
  vessel the next night. They both supposed that I had long been at the
• 5:33:45
  North. Therefore my name was not mentioned in the transaction. Fanny was carried
• 5:33:49
  on board at the appointed time and stowed away in a very small cabin.
• 5:33:53
  This accommodation had been purchased at a price that would pay for a voyage to
• 5:33:56
  England. But when one proposes to go to fine old England, they stopped
• 5:34:02
  to calculate whether they can afford the cost of the pleasure. While in making
• 5:34:04
  a bargain to escape from slavery, the trembling victim is ready to say,
• 5:34:10
  take all I have, only don't betray me. The next morning I peeped
• 5:34:15
  through my loophole and saw that it was dark and cloudy. At night,
• 5:34:19
  I received news that the wind was ahead and the vessel had not sailed.
• 5:34:23
  I was exceedingly anxious about Fanny and Peter too, who was running a tremendous
• 5:34:29
  risk at my instigation. Next day, the wind and weather remained the same.
• 5:34:33
  Poor Fanny had been half dead with fright when they carried her on board,
• 5:34:37
  and I could readily imagine how she must be suffering now. Grandmother came
• 5:34:41
  often to my den to say how thankful she was that I did not go.
• 5:34:45
  On the third morning, she wrapped for me to come down to the
• 5:34:48
  store room. The poor old sufferer was breaking down under her weight of trouble.
• 5:34:52
  She was easily flurried. Now I found her in a nervous, excited
• 5:34:56
  state, but I was not aware that she had forgotten to lock the door
• 5:35:00
  behind her. As usual, she was exceedingly worried about the detention of the
• 5:35:03
  vessel. She was afraid all would be discovered, and then Fanny and Peter
• 5:35:07
  and I would all be torture to death, and Philip would be utterly ruined,
• 5:35:11
  and her house would be torn down. Poor Peter if he should die
• 5:35:15
  such a horrible death as the poor slave James had lately done. And all
• 5:35:18
  for his kindness in trying to help me, how dreadful it would be for
• 5:35:22
  us all Alas the thought was familiar to me and had sent many a sharp
• 5:35:26
  pang through my heart. I tried to suppress my own anxiety and speak soothingly
• 5:35:32
  to her. She brought in some allusion to Aunt Nancy, the dear daughter
• 5:35:36
  she had recently buried, and then she lost all control of herself. As
• 5:35:41
  she stood there, trembling and sobbing, a voice from the piazza called out,
• 5:35:45
  were is you? Aunt Marthy grandmother was startled, and in her agitation
• 5:35:49
  opened the door without thinking of me. In stepped Jenny, the mischievous housemaid,
• 5:35:55
  who had tried to enter my room when I was concealed in the house
• 5:35:57
  of my white benefactress. I've been huntin everywhere for you, Aunt Marthy said
• 5:36:03
  she. My missus wants you to send her some crackers. I had slunk
• 5:36:07
  down behind a barrel, which entirely screened me, but I imagined that Jenny
• 5:36:11
  was looking directly at the spot, and my heart beat violently. My grandmother
• 5:36:15
  immediately thought what she had done, went out quickly with Jenny to count the
• 5:36:19
  crackers, locking the door after her. She returned to me in a few
• 5:36:22
  minutes, the perfect picture of despair. Poor child, she exclaimed, My
• 5:36:29
  carelessness has ruined you. The boat ain't gone yet. Get ready immediately and
• 5:36:33
  go with Fanny. I ain't got another word to say against it now,
• 5:36:37
  for there's no telling what may happen this day. Uncle Philip was sent for,
• 5:36:41
  and he agreed with his mother in thinking that Jenny would inform doctor Flint
• 5:36:45
  in less than twenty four hours. He advised me getting on board the boat
• 5:36:48
  if possible. If not, I had better keep very still in my den
• 5:36:52
  where they cannot find me without tearing the house down. He said it would
• 5:36:56
  not do for him to move in the matter, because suspicion would be immediately
• 5:36:59
  excited, but he promised to communicate with Peter. I felt reluctant to apply
• 5:37:03
  to him again, having implicated him too much already, but there seemed to
• 5:37:07
  be no alternative. Vexed as Peter had been by my indecision, he was
• 5:37:11
  true to his generous nature and said at once that he would do his best
• 5:37:15
  to help me, trusting I should show myself a stronger woman this time.
• 5:37:18
  He immediately proceeded to the wharf and found that the wind had shifted and the
• 5:37:22
  vessel was slowly beating down stream. On some pretext of urgent necessity, he
• 5:37:26
  offered two boatmen a dollar apiece to catch up with her. He was of
• 5:37:30
  lighter complexion than the boatmen he hired, and when the captain saw them coming
• 5:37:33
  so rapidly, he thought officers were pursuing his vessel in search of the runaway
• 5:37:37
  slave he had on board. They hoisted sails, but the boat gained upon
• 5:37:41
  them, and the indefatigable Peter sprang on board. The captain at once recognized
• 5:37:47
  him. Peter asked him to go below to speak about a bad bill he
• 5:37:49
  had given him. When he told his errand, the captain replied, why
• 5:37:53
  the woman's here already, and I've put her where you or the devil would
• 5:37:56
  have a tough job to find her. But it is another woman I want
• 5:38:00
  to bring, said Peter. She is in great distress too, and you
• 5:38:03
  shall be paid anything within reason if you'll stop and take her. What's her
• 5:38:07
  name, inquired the captain, Linda, He replied, that's the name of
• 5:38:12
  the woman already here. Rejoined the captain by George. I believe you mean
• 5:38:17
  to betray me. Oh, exclaimed Peter. God knows, I wouldn't harm
• 5:38:22
  a hair of your head. I'm too grateful to you. But there really
• 5:38:25
  is another woman in great danger. Do have the humanity to stop and take
• 5:38:29
  her. After a while, they came to an understanding. Fanny, not
• 5:38:33
  dreaming I was anywhere about in that region, had assumed my name, though
• 5:38:37
  she called herself Johnson. Linda is a common name, said Peter, and
• 5:38:41
  the woman I want to bring is Linda Brent. The captain agreed to wait
• 5:38:45
  at a certain place till evening, being handsomely paid for his detention. Of
• 5:38:49
  course, the day was an anxious one for us all. But we concluded
• 5:38:52
  that if Jenny had seen me, she would be too wise to let her
• 5:38:56
  mistress know of it, and that she probably would not get a chance to
• 5:38:59
  see doctor Flinn's family till evening, for I knew very well what were the
• 5:39:03
  rules in that household. I afterwards believed that she did not see me,
• 5:39:07
  for nothing ever came of it, and she was one of those base characters
• 5:39:11
  that would have jumped to betray a suffering fellow being for the sake of thirty
• 5:39:14
  pieces of silver. I made all my arrangements to go on board as soon
• 5:39:18
  as it was dusk. The intervening time, I resolved to spend with my
• 5:39:22
  son. I had not spoken to him for seven years, though I had
• 5:39:25
  been under the same roof and seen him every day. When I was well
• 5:39:27
  enough to sit at the loophole, I did not dare to venture beyond the
• 5:39:30
  store room, so they brought him there and locked us up together in a
• 5:39:34
  place concealed from the piazza door. It was an agitating interview for both of
• 5:39:38
  us. After we had talked and wept together for a little while, he
• 5:39:41
  said, Mother, I'm glad you're going away. I wish I could go
• 5:39:47
  with you. I knew you was here, and I've been so afraid they
• 5:39:49
  would come and catch you. I was greatly surprised and asked him how he
• 5:39:53
  had found it out. He replied, I was standing under the eaves one
• 5:39:57
  day before Ellen went away, and I heard somebody cough up over the wood
• 5:40:02
  shed. I don't know what made me think it was you, but I
• 5:40:04
  did think so. I missed Ellen the night before she went away, and
• 5:40:07
  Grandmother brought her back into the room in the night, and I thought maybe
• 5:40:11
  she'd been to see you before she went for I heard Grandmother whisper to her,
• 5:40:15
  now go to sleep and remember never to tell. I asked him if
• 5:40:18
  he ever mentioned his suspicions to his sister. He said he never did,
• 5:40:22
  but after he heard the cough, if he saw her playing with other children
• 5:40:26
  on that side of the house, he always tried to coax her round to
• 5:40:29
  the other side, for fear that they would hear me cough too. He
• 5:40:33
  said he had kept a close lookout for doctor Flint, and if he saw
• 5:40:36
  him speak to a constable or a patrol he always told grandmother. I now
• 5:40:40
  recollected that I had seen him manifest uneasiness when people were on that side of
• 5:40:44
  the house, and I had at the time been puzzled to conjecture a motive
• 5:40:48
  for his actions. Such prudence may seem extraordinary in a boy of twelve years,
• 5:40:52
  but slaves, being surrounded by mysteries, deceptions, and dangers, early
• 5:40:56
  learned to be suspicious and watchful, and prematurely cautious and cunning. He had
• 5:41:03
  never asked a question of grandmother or Uncle Philip, and I had often heard
• 5:41:07
  him chime in with other children when they spoke of my being at the North.
• 5:41:11
  I told him I was now really going to the Free States, and
• 5:41:14
  if he was a good, honest boy and a loving child to his dear
• 5:41:17
  old grandmother, the Lord would bless him and bring him to me, and
• 5:41:21
  we and Ellen would live together. He began to tell me that grandmother had
• 5:41:25
  not eaten anything all day. While he was speaking, the door was unlocked,
• 5:41:29
  and she came in with a small bag of money, which she wanted
• 5:41:32
  me to take. I begged her to keep a part of it, at
• 5:41:33
  least to pay for Benny's being sent to the North, but she insisted,
• 5:41:37
  while her tears were falling fast, that I should take the whole you may
• 5:41:41
  be sick among strangers, she said, and they would send you to the
• 5:41:45
  poor house to die. Ah, that good grandmother. For the last time,
• 5:41:51
  I went up to my nook, Its desolate appearance no longer chilled me,
• 5:41:55
  for the light of hope had risen in my soul. Yet, even
• 5:41:59
  with the blessed prospers of freedom before me, I felt very sad at leaving
• 5:42:03
  forever, that old homestead where I had been sheltered so long by the dear
• 5:42:07
  old grandmother, where I had dreamed my first young dream of love, and
• 5:42:11
  where after that had faded away. My children came to twine themselves so closely
• 5:42:15
  round my desolate heart. As the hour approached for me to leave, I
• 5:42:18
  again descended to the store room. My grandmother and Benny were there. She
• 5:42:23
  took me by the hand and said, Linda, let us pray. We
• 5:42:27
  knelt down together, with my child pressed to my heart and my other arm
• 5:42:32
  round the faithful, loving old friend I was about to leave forever. On
• 5:42:36
  no other occasion has it ever been my lot to listen to so fervent a
• 5:42:40
  supplication for mercy and protection. It thrilled through my heart and inspired me with
• 5:42:45
  trust in God. Peter was waiting for me in the street. I was
• 5:42:48
  soon by his side, faint in body but strong of purpose. I did
• 5:42:53
  not look back upon the old place, though I felt that I should never
• 5:42:56
  see it again. End of Chapter twenty nine, Chapter thirty northward Bound.
• 5:43:06
  I never could tell how we reached the wharf. My brain was all of
• 5:43:10
  a whirl, and my limbs tottered under me. At an appointed place,
• 5:43:14
  we met my uncle Philip, who had started before us on a different route,
• 5:43:17
  that he might reach the wharf first and give us timely warning if there
• 5:43:19
  was any danger. A row boat was in readiness. As I was about
• 5:43:23
  to step in, I felt something pull me gently, and turning round,
• 5:43:26
  I saw Benny, looking pale and anxious. He whispered in my ear,
• 5:43:32
  I've been peeping into the doctor's window and he's at home. Good Bye,
• 5:43:36
  mother, don't cry, I'll come. He hastened away. I clasped the
• 5:43:41
  hand of my good uncle, to whom I owed so much, and of
• 5:43:45
  Peter, the brave, generous friend, who had volunteered to run such terrible
• 5:43:48
  risks to secure my safety. To this day, I remember how his bright
• 5:43:52
  face beamed with joy when he told me he had discovered a safe method for
• 5:43:56
  me to escape. Yet that intelligent, entering, noble hearted man was a
• 5:44:02
  chattel, liable by the laws of a country that calls itself civilized, to
• 5:44:06
  be sold with horses and pigs. We parted in silence, our hearts were
• 5:44:11
  all too full for words. Swiftly the boat glided over the water. After
• 5:44:17
  a while, one of the sailors said, don't be downhearted, madam.
• 5:44:19
  We'll take you safely to your husband. And I could not imagine what he
• 5:44:23
  meant, but I had presence of mind to think that it probably referred to
• 5:44:26
  something the captain had told him. So I thanked him and said, I
• 5:44:30
  hoped we should have pleasant weather. When I entered the vessel, the captain
• 5:44:34
  came forward to meet me. He was an elderly man with a pleasant countenance.
• 5:44:38
  He showed me to a little box of a cabin where sat my friend
• 5:44:42
  Fanny. She started as if she had seen a specter. She gazed on
• 5:44:47
  me in utter astonishment and exclaimed, Linda, can this be you or is
• 5:44:52
  it your ghost? When we were locked in each other's arms, my overwrought
• 5:44:56
  feelings could no longer be restrained. My sobs reached the ear of the captain
• 5:45:00
  who came and very kindly reminded us that for his safety as well as our
• 5:45:03
  own, it would be prudent for us not to attract any attention. He
• 5:45:07
  said that when there was a sail in sight, he wished us to keep
• 5:45:10
  below, but at other times he had no objection to our being on deck.
• 5:45:14
  He assured us that he would keep a good look out, and if
• 5:45:17
  we acted prudently, he thought we should be in no danger. He had
• 5:45:19
  represented us as women going to meet our husbands in We thanked him and promised
• 5:45:25
  to observe carefully all the directions he gave us. Fanny and I now talked
• 5:45:29
  by ourselves, low and quietly in our little cabin. She told me of
• 5:45:33
  the suffering she had gone through in making her escape, and of her terrors
• 5:45:36
  while she was concealed in her mother's house. Above all, she dwelt on
• 5:45:40
  the agony of separation from all her children on that dreadful auction day. She
• 5:45:44
  could scarcely credit me when I told her of the place where I had passed
• 5:45:47
  nearly seven years. We have the same sorrows, said I. No,
• 5:45:52
  replied she. You are going to see your children soon, and there is
• 5:45:56
  no hope that I shall ever even hear from mine. The vessel was soon
• 5:46:00
  under weigh, but we made slow progress. The wind was against us.
• 5:46:04
  I should not have cared for this if we had been out of sight of
• 5:46:07
  the town. But until there were miles of water between us and our enemies,
• 5:46:11
  we were filled with constant apprehensions that the constables would come on board.
• 5:46:15
  Neither could I feel quite at ease with the captain and his men. I
• 5:46:18
  was an entire stranger to that class of people, and I had heard that
• 5:46:22
  sailors were rough and sometimes cruel. We were so completely in their power that
• 5:46:26
  if they were bad men, our situation would be dreadful. Now that the
• 5:46:30
  captain was paid for our passage, might he not be tempted to make more
• 5:46:33
  money by giving us up to those who claimed us as property. I was
• 5:46:37
  naturally of a confiding disposition, but slavery had made me suspicious of everybody.
• 5:46:44
  Fanny did not share my distrust of the captain or his men. She said
• 5:46:47
  she was afraid at first, but she had been on board three days while
• 5:46:49
  the vessel lay in the dock, and nobody had betrayed her or treated her
• 5:46:53
  otherwise than kindly. The captain soon came to advise us to go on deck
• 5:46:57
  for fresh air. His friendly and respectful manner, combined with Fanny's testimony,
• 5:47:03
  reassured me and bewent with him. He placed us in a comfortable seat and
• 5:47:07
  occasionally entered into conversation. He told us he was a Southerner by birth and
• 5:47:11
  had spent the greater part of his life in the slave States, and that
• 5:47:14
  he had recently lost a brother who traded in slaves, but said he it
• 5:47:18
  is a pitiable and degrading business, and I always felt a shame to acknowledge
• 5:47:22
  my brother in connection with it. As we passed Snaky Swamp, he pointed
• 5:47:27
  to it and said, there is a slave territory that defies all the laws.
• 5:47:33
  I thought of the terrible days I had spent there, and though it
• 5:47:36
  was not called Dismal Swamp, it made me feel very dismal as I looked
• 5:47:40
  at it. I shall never forget that night. The balmy air of spring
• 5:47:45
  was so refreshing. And how shall I describe my sensations when we were fairly
• 5:47:48
  sailing on Chesapeake Bay. Oh, the beautiful sunshine, the exhilarating breeze,
• 5:47:53
  and I could enjoy them without fear or restraint. I had never realized what
• 5:47:59
  grand things are air and sunlight are till I had been deprived of them.
• 5:48:03
  Ten days after we left land, we were approaching Philadelphia. The captain said
• 5:48:07
  we should arrive there in the night, but he thought we had better wait
• 5:48:10
  till morning and go on shore in broad daylight, as the best way to
• 5:48:12
  avoid suspicion. I replied, you know best, but will you stay on
• 5:48:18
  board and protect us. He saw that I was suspicious, and he said
• 5:48:22
  he was sorry now that he had brought us to the end of our voyage
• 5:48:25
  to find I had so little confidence in him. Ah, if he had
• 5:48:29
  ever been a slave, he would have known how difficult it was to trust
• 5:48:30
  a white man. He assured us that we might sleep through the night without
• 5:48:34
  fear, that he would take care we were not left unprotected. Be it
• 5:48:38
  said to the honor of this captain, Southerner as he was, that if
• 5:48:42
  Fanny and I had been white ladies and our passage lawfully engaged, he could
• 5:48:47
  not have treated us more respectfully. My intelligent friend Peter had rightly estimated the
• 5:48:52
  character of the man to whose honor he had intrusted us. The next morning,
• 5:48:56
  I was on deck. As soon as the day dawned, I called
• 5:48:59
  Fanny to see the sun for the first time in our lives on free soil.
• 5:49:03
  For such I then believed it to be. We watched the reddening sky
• 5:49:07
  and saw the great orb come up slowly out of the water. As it
• 5:49:11
  seemed soon the waves began to sparkle, and everything caught the beautiful glow.
• 5:49:15
  Before us slay the city of strangers. We looked at each other, and
• 5:49:19
  the eyes of both were moistened with tears. We had escaped from slavery,
• 5:49:25
  and we supposed ourselves to be safe from the hunters. But we were alone
• 5:49:29
  in the world, and we had left dear ties behind us, ties cruelly
• 5:49:33
  sundered by the demon slavery. End of Chapter thirty Chapter thirty one, Incidents
• 5:49:41
  in Philadelphia. I had heard that the poor slave had many friends at the
• 5:49:48
  north. I trusted we should find some of them. Meantime, we would
• 5:49:52
  take it for granted that all were friends till they proved to the contrary.
• 5:49:56
  I sought out the kind captain, thanked him for his attempt chins, and
• 5:50:00
  told him I should never cease to be grateful for the service he had rendered
• 5:50:03
  us. I gave him a message to the friends I had left at home,
• 5:50:07
  and he promised to deliver it. We were placed in a row boat,
• 5:50:11
  and in about fifteen minutes were landed on a wood wharf in Philadelphia.
• 5:50:15
  As I stood looking round, the friendly captain touched me on the shoulder and
• 5:50:19
  said, there is a respectable looking colored man behind you. I will speak
• 5:50:23
  to him about the New York trains and tell him you wish to go directly
• 5:50:27
  on. I thanked him and asked him to direct me to some shops where
• 5:50:32
  I could buy gloves and veils. He did so, and said he would
• 5:50:36
  talk with the colored man till I returned. I made what haste I could.
• 5:50:40
  Constant exercise on board the vessel and frequent rubbing with salt water had nearly
• 5:50:45
  restored the use of my limbs. The noise of the great city confused me,
• 5:50:49
  but I found the shops and bought some double veils and gloves for Fanny
• 5:50:52
  and myself. The shop man told me they were so many levees. I
• 5:50:57
  had never heard the word before, but I did not tell him so I
• 5:51:02
  thought if he knew I was a stranger, he might ask me where I
• 5:51:03
  came from. I gave him a gold piece, and when he returned the
• 5:51:07
  change, I counted it and found out how much a levee was. I
• 5:51:11
  made my way back to the wharf, where the captain introduced me to the
• 5:51:15
  colored man as the Reverend Jeremiah Durham, minister of Bethel Church. He took
• 5:51:19
  me by the hand as if I had been an old friend. He told
• 5:51:22
  us we were too late for the morning cars to New York and must wait
• 5:51:26
  until the evening or the next morning. He invited me to go home with
• 5:51:30
  him, assuring me that his wife would give me a cordial welcome, and
• 5:51:33
  for my friend, he would provide a home with one of his neighbors.
• 5:51:37
  I thanked him for so much kindness to strangers, and told him, if
• 5:51:41
  I must be detained, I should like to hunt up some people who formerly
• 5:51:44
  went from our part of the country. Mister Durham insisted that I should dine
• 5:51:47
  with him, and then he would assist me in finding my friends. The
• 5:51:51
  sailors came to bid us good bye. I shook their hearty hands with tears
• 5:51:55
  in my eyes. They had all been kind to us, and they had
• 5:51:57
  rendered us a greater survy than they could possibly conceive. Of I had never
• 5:52:03
  seen so large a city or been in contact with so many people in the
• 5:52:07
  streets. It seemed as if those who passed looked at us with an expression
• 5:52:11
  of curiosity. My face was so blistered and peeled by sitting on deck in
• 5:52:15
  wind and sunshine that I thought they could not easily decide to what nation I
• 5:52:19
  belonged. Missus Dram met me with a kindly welcome, without asking any questions.
• 5:52:26
  I was tired, and her friendly manner was a sweet refreshment. God
• 5:52:30
  bless her. I was sure that she had comforted other weary hearts before I
• 5:52:33
  received her sympathy. She was surrounded by her husband and children in a home
• 5:52:37
  made sacred by protecting laws. I thought of my own children and sighed.
• 5:52:44
  After dinner, mister Durham went with me in quest of the friends I had
• 5:52:45
  spoken of. They went from my native town, and I anticipated much pleasure
• 5:52:49
  in looking on familiar faces. They were not at home, and we retraced
• 5:52:53
  our steps through streets delightfully clean. On the way, mister Durham observed that
• 5:52:59
  I had spoken to him a daughter I expected to meet. That he was
• 5:53:02
  surprised for I looked so young. He had taken me for a single woman.
• 5:53:06
  He was approaching a subject on which I was extremely sensitive. He would
• 5:53:10
  ask me about my husband next, I thought, and if I answered him
• 5:53:12
  truly, what would he think of me? I told him I had two
• 5:53:17
  children, one New York and the other at the South. He asked some
• 5:53:19
  further questions, and I frankly told him some of the most important events of
• 5:53:23
  my life. It was painful for me to do it, but I would
• 5:53:27
  not deceive him. If he was desirous of being my friend, I thought
• 5:53:32
  he ought to know how far I was worthy of it. Excuse me if
• 5:53:36
  I have tried your feelings, said he. I did not question you from
• 5:53:40
  idle curiosity. I wanted to understand your situation in order to know whether I
• 5:53:44
  could be of any service to you or your little girl. Your straightforward answers
• 5:53:48
  do you credit. But don't answer everybody so openly. It might give some
• 5:53:52
  heartless people a pretext for treating you with contempt. That word contempt burned me
• 5:53:59
  like coals of fire, I replied, God alone knows how I have suffered,
• 5:54:04
  and he I trust, will forgive me. If I am permitted to
• 5:54:08
  have my children, I intend to be a good mother and to live in
• 5:54:11
  such a manner that people cannot treat me with contempt. I respect your sentiments,
• 5:54:18
  said he Place your trust in God, and be governed by good principles,
• 5:54:22
  and you will not fail to find friends. When we reached home,
• 5:54:26
  I went to my room, glad to shut out the world for a while.
• 5:54:30
  The words he had spoken made an indelible impression upon me. They brought
• 5:54:33
  up great shadows from the mournful past. In the midst of my meditations,
• 5:54:37
  I was startled by a knock at the door. Missus Doram entered, her
• 5:54:41
  face all beaming with kindness, to say that there was an anti slavery friend
• 5:54:45
  downstairs who would like to see me. I overcame my dread of encountering strangers
• 5:54:51
  and went with her. Many questions were asked concerning my experiences and my escape
• 5:54:56
  from slavery, but I observed how careful they all were not to say any
• 5:55:00
  that might wound my feelings. How gratifying this was can be fully understood only
• 5:55:04
  by those who have been accustomed to be treated as if they were not included
• 5:55:07
  within the pale of human beings. The anti slavery friend had come to inquire
• 5:55:11
  into my plans and to offer assistance if needed. Fanny was comfortably established for
• 5:55:18
  the present with a friend of mister Durham. The Anti Slavery Society agreed to
• 5:55:22
  pay her expenses to New York. The same was offered to me, but
• 5:55:26
  I declined to accept it, telling them that my grandmother had given me sufficient
• 5:55:29
  to pay my expenses to the end of my journey. We were urged to
• 5:55:33
  remain in Philadelphia a few days until some suitable escort could be found for us.
• 5:55:37
  I gladly accepted the proposition, for I had a dread of meeting slaveholders,
• 5:55:41
  and some dread also of railroads. I had never entered a railroad car
• 5:55:45
  in my life, and it seemed to me quite an important event. That
• 5:55:49
  night, I sought my pillow with feelings I had never carried to it before.
• 5:55:53
  I verily believed myself to be a free woman. I was wakeful for
• 5:55:57
  a long time, and I had no sooner forne asleep than I was roused
• 5:56:00
  by fire bills. I jumped up and hurried on my clothes where I came
• 5:56:04
  from. Everybody hastened to dress themselves on such occasions. The white people thought
• 5:56:08
  a great fire might be used as a good opportunity for insurrection, and that
• 5:56:12
  it was best to be in readiness, and the colored people were ordered out
• 5:56:15
  to labor in extinguishing the flames. There was but one engine in our town,
• 5:56:19
  and colored women and children were often required to drag it to the river's
• 5:56:22
  edge and fill it. Missus Durham's daughter slept in the same room with me,
• 5:56:26
  and seeing that she slept through all the din I thought it was my
• 5:56:30
  duty to wake her. What's the matter, said she, rubbing her eyes.
• 5:56:33
  They're screaming fire in the streets, and the bells are ringing. I
• 5:56:37
  replied, what of that, said she drowsily. We are used to it.
• 5:56:42
  We never get up without the fire is very near. What good would
• 5:56:45
  it do? I was quite surprised that it was not necessary for us to
• 5:56:49
  go and help fill the engine. I was an ignorant child, just beginning
• 5:56:53
  to learn how things went on in great cities. At daylight, I heard
• 5:56:57
  women crying fresh fish, berries, radishes, and various other things. All
• 5:57:03
  this was new to me. I dressed myself at an early hour and sat
• 5:57:07
  at the window to watch that unknown tide of life. Philadelphia seemed to me
• 5:57:11
  a wonderfully great place at the breakfast table. My idea of going out to
• 5:57:15
  drag the engine was laughed over, and I joined in the mirth. I
• 5:57:19
  went to see Fanny and found her so well contented among her new friends that
• 5:57:23
  she was in no haste to leave. I was also very happy with my
• 5:57:27
  kind hostess. She had had advantages for education, and was vastly my superior.
• 5:57:33
  Every day, almost every hour, I was adding to my little stock
• 5:57:37
  of knowledge. She took me out to see the city as much as she
• 5:57:40
  deemed prudent. One day she took me to an artist's room and showed me
• 5:57:44
  the portraits of some of her children. I had never seen any paintings of
• 5:57:48
  colored people before, and they seemed to be beautiful. At the end of
• 5:57:52
  five days, one of missus Durham's friends offered to accompany us to New York.
• 5:57:56
  The following morning, as I held the hand of my good hostess in
• 5:57:59
  a port clasp, I longed to know whether her husband had repeated to her
• 5:58:03
  what I had told him. I supposed he had, but she never made
• 5:58:07
  any allusion to it. I presume it was the delicate silence of womanly sympathy.
• 5:58:11
  When mister Durham handed us our tickets he said, I'm afraid you will
• 5:58:15
  have a disagreeable ride. But I could not procure tickets for the first class
• 5:58:18
  cars. Supposing I had not given him money enough, I offered more.
• 5:58:22
  Oh no, said he. They could not be had for any money.
• 5:58:26
  They don't allow colored people to go in the first class cars. This was
• 5:58:30
  the first chill to my enthusiasm about the Free States. Colored people were allowed
• 5:58:36
  to ride in a filthy box behind white people at the South, but there
• 5:58:40
  they were not required to pay for the privilege. It made me sad to
• 5:58:44
  find how the North aped the customs of slavery. We were stowed away in
• 5:58:48
  a large rough car with windows on each side too high for us to look
• 5:58:52
  out without standing up. It was crowded with people, apparently of all nations.
• 5:58:57
  There were plenty of beds and cradlesining, screaming and kicking babies. Every
• 5:59:02
  other man had a cigar or pipe in his mouth, and jugs of whiskey
• 5:59:06
  were handed round freely. The fumes of the whiskey and the dense tobacco smoke
• 5:59:10
  were sickening to my senses, and my mind was equally nauseated by the coarse
• 5:59:14
  jokes and ribbled songs. Around me. It was a very disagreeable ride.
• 5:59:18
  Since that time there has been some improvement in these matters. End of Chapter
• 5:59:25
  thirty one. Chapter thirty two, The meeting of Mother and Daughter. When
• 5:59:30
  we arrived in New York, I was half crazed by the crowd of coachmen
• 5:59:34
  calling out carriage, ma'am. We bargained with one to take us to Sullivan
• 5:59:38
  Street for twelve shillings. A burly irishman stepped up and said, I'll take
• 5:59:44
  you for sex shillings. The reduction of half the price was an object to
• 5:59:48
  us, and BE asked if he could take us right away, troth and
• 5:59:51
  I will, ladies, he replied. I noticed that the hackmen smiled at
• 5:59:55
  each other, and I inquired whether his conveyance was decent. Yes, it's
• 5:59:59
  day. It is marm devil. A bit would I be after taking ladies
• 6:00:03
  in a cab that was not decent? We gave him our checks. He
• 6:00:07
  went for the baggage and soon reappeared, saying this way, if you please,
• 6:00:11
  ladies. We followed and found our trunks on a truck and were invited
• 6:00:15
  to take our seats on them. We told him that that was not what
• 6:00:18
  we bargained for and he must take the trunks off. He swore they should
• 6:00:22
  not be touched till we had paid him six shillings. In our situation,
• 6:00:26
  it was not prudent to attract attention, and I was about to pay him
• 6:00:29
  what he required when a man near by shook his head for me not to
• 6:00:33
  do it. After a great ado, we got rid of the irishman and
• 6:00:37
  had our trunks fastened on a hack. We had been recommended to a boarding
• 6:00:41
  house in Sullivan Street, and thither we drove there. Fanny and I separated.
• 6:00:45
  The Anti Slavery Society provided a home for her, and I afterwards heard
• 6:00:49
  of her. In prosperous circumstances, I sent for an old friend from my
• 6:00:53
  part of the country who had for some time been doing business in New York.
• 6:00:57
  He came immediately I I told him I wanted to go to my daughter
• 6:01:02
  and asked him to aid me in procuring an interview. I cautioned him not
• 6:01:06
  to let it be known to the family that I had just arrived from the
• 6:01:07
  South, because they supposed I had been at the north seven years. He
• 6:01:11
  told me there was a colored woman in Brooklyn who came from the same town
• 6:01:15
  I did, and I had better go to her house and have my daughter
• 6:01:18
  meet me there. I accepted the proposition thankfully, and he agreed to escort
• 6:01:22
  me to Brooklyn. We crossed Fulton Ferry, went up Myrtle Avenue and stopped
• 6:01:26
  at the house he designated. I was just about to enter when two girls
• 6:01:30
  passed. My friend called my attention to them. I turned and recognized in
• 6:01:36
  the eldest Sarah, the daughter of a woman who used to live with my
• 6:01:38
  grandmother, but who had left the South years ago. Surprised and rejoiced at
• 6:01:42
  this unexpected meeting, I threw my arms round her and inquired concerning her mother.
• 6:01:48
  You take no notice of the other girl, said my friend. I
• 6:01:52
  turned, and there stood my Ellen. I pressed her to my heart,
• 6:01:56
  then held her away from me to take a look at her. She had
• 6:02:00
  changed a good deal in the two years since I had parted from her.
• 6:02:03
  Signs of neglect could be discerned by eyes less observing than a mother's. My
• 6:02:08
  friend invited us all to go into the house, but Ellen said she had
• 6:02:11
  been sent on an errand which she would do as quickly as possible and go
• 6:02:15
  home and ask missus Hobbs to let her come and see me. It was
• 6:02:18
  agreed that I should send for her the next day. Her companion, Sarah,
• 6:02:23
  hastened to tell her mother of my arrival. When I entered the house,
• 6:02:26
  I found the mistress of it absent, and I waited for her return.
• 6:02:30
  Before I saw her, I heard her saying, where is landa Brent
• 6:02:34
  I used to know her father and mother. Soon Sara came with her mother.
• 6:02:38
  So there was quite a company of us, all from my grandmother's neighborhood.
• 6:02:42
  These friends gathered round me and questioned me eagerly. They laughed, they
• 6:02:47
  cried, and they shouted. They thanked God that I had got away from
• 6:02:49
  my persecutors and was safe on Long Island. It was a day of great
• 6:02:53
  excitement, how different from the silent days I had passed in my dreary den.
• 6:03:00
  The next morning was Sunday. My first waking thoughts were occupied with the
• 6:03:03
  note I was to send to missus Hobbs, the lady with whom Ellen lived,
• 6:03:07
  that I had recently come into that vicinity was evident, otherwise I should
• 6:03:11
  have sooner inquired for my daughter. It would not do to let them know
• 6:03:15
  I had just arrived from the south, for that would involve the suspicion of
• 6:03:18
  my having been harbored there and might bring trouble, if not ruin on several
• 6:03:22
  people. I like a straightforward course and am always reluctant to resort to subterfuge.
• 6:03:29
  As far as my ways have been crooked, I charged them all upon
• 6:03:32
  slavery. It was that system of violence and wrong which now left me no
• 6:03:36
  alternative but to enact a falsehood. I began my note by stating that I
• 6:03:41
  had recently arrived from Canada and was very desirous to have my daughter come to
• 6:03:44
  see me. She came and brought a message from Missus Hobbs, inviting me
• 6:03:48
  to her house and assuring me that I need not have any fears. The
• 6:03:52
  conversation I had with my child did not leave my mind at ease. When
• 6:03:55
  I asked if she was well treated, she answered yes, but there was
• 6:03:59
  no heartiness in the tone, and it seemed to me that she said it
• 6:04:02
  from an unwillingness to have me troubled on her account. Before she left me,
• 6:04:06
  she asked, very earnestly, mother, will you take me to live
• 6:04:10
  with you? It made me very sad to think I could not give her
• 6:04:14
  a home till I went to work and earned the means, and that might
• 6:04:17
  take me a long time. When she was placed with Missus Hobbs, the
• 6:04:19
  agreement was that she should be sent to school. She had been there two
• 6:04:23
  years and was now nine years old, and she scarcely knew her letters.
• 6:04:27
  There was no excuse for this, for there were good public schools in Brooklyn
• 6:04:32
  to which she could have been sent without expense. She stayed with me till
• 6:04:36
  dark, and I went home with her. I was received in a friendly
• 6:04:38
  manner by the family, and all agreed in saying that Ellen was a useful,
• 6:04:42
  good girl. Missus Hobbs looked me coolly in the face and said,
• 6:04:48
  I suppose you know that my cousin, mister Sands, has given her to
• 6:04:51
  my eldest daughter. She will make a nice waiting maid for her when she
• 6:04:55
  grows up. I did not answer a word. How could she, who
• 6:04:59
  knew I experienced the strength of a mother's love, and who was perfectly aware
• 6:05:03
  of the relation mister Sands bore to my children. How could she look me
• 6:05:07
  in the face while she thrust such a dagger into my heart. I was
• 6:05:11
  no longer surprised that they had kept her in such a state of ignorance.
• 6:05:15
  Mister Hobbs had formerly been wealthy, but he had failed and afterwards obtained a
• 6:05:18
  subordinate situation in the custom house. Perhaps they expected to return to the South
• 6:05:23
  some day, and Ellen's knowledge was quite sufficient for a slave's condition. I
• 6:05:29
  was impatient to go to work and earn money that I might change the uncertain
• 6:05:33
  position of my children. Mister Sands had not kept his promise to emancipate them.
• 6:05:37
  I had also been deceived about Ellen. What security had I with regard
• 6:05:41
  to Benjamin, I felt that I had none. I returned to my friend's
• 6:05:47
  house in an uneasy state of mind. In order to protect my children,
• 6:05:49
  it was necessary that I should own myself. I called myself free, and
• 6:05:53
  sometimes felt so, but I knew I was insecure. I sat down that
• 6:05:59
  night and wrote a civil life letter to doctor Flint, asking him to state
• 6:06:02
  the lowest terms on which he would sell me. And as I belonged by
• 6:06:04
  law to his daughter, I wrote to her, also making a similar request.
• 6:06:10
  Since my arrival at the North, I had not been unmindful of my
• 6:06:12
  dear brother William. I had made diligent inquiries for him, and having heard
• 6:06:17
  of him in Boston, I went thither. When I arrived there, I
• 6:06:19
  found he had gone to New Bedford. I wrote to that place and was
• 6:06:23
  informed that he had gone on a whaling voyage and would not return for some
• 6:06:26
  months. I went back to New York to get employment near Ellen. I
• 6:06:32
  received an answer from doctor Flint which gave me no encouragement. He advised me
• 6:06:37
  to return and submit myself to my rightful owners, and then any request I
• 6:06:41
  might make would be granted. I lent this letter to a friend who lost
• 6:06:45
  it, otherwise I would present a copy to my readers. End of chapter
• 6:06:51
  thirty two. Chapter thirty three, A home found. My greatest anxiety now
• 6:06:59
  was to obtain employment. My health was greatly improved, though my limbs continued
• 6:07:03
  to trouble me with swelling whenever I walked much. The greatest difficulty in my
• 6:07:07
  way was that those who employed strangers required a recommendation, and in my peculiar
• 6:07:14
  position, I could, of course obtain no certificates from the families I had
• 6:07:18
  so faithfully served. One day, an acquaintance told me of a lady who
• 6:07:22
  wanted a nurse for her babe, and I immediately applied for the situation.
• 6:07:26
  The lady told me she preferred to have one who had been a mother and
• 6:07:29
  accustomed to the care of infants. I told her I had nursed two babes
• 6:07:33
  of my own. She asked me many questions, but to my great relief,
• 6:07:37
  did not require a recommendation for my former employers. She told me she
• 6:07:41
  was an englishwoman, and that was a pleasant circumstance to me, because I
• 6:07:45
  had heard they had less prejudice against color than Americans entertained. It was agreed
• 6:07:48
  that we should try each other for a week. The trial proved satisfactory to
• 6:07:52
  both parties, and I was engaged for a month. The heavenly Father had
• 6:07:57
  been most merciful to me in leading me to this place. Missus Bruce was
• 6:08:02
  a kind and gentle lady, and proved a true and sympathizing friend before the
• 6:08:07
  stipulated month expired. The necessity of passing up and down stairs frequently caused my
• 6:08:11
  limbs to swell so painfully that I became unable to perform my duties. Many
• 6:08:15
  ladies would have thoughtlessly discharged me, but Missus Bruce made arrangements to save me
• 6:08:21
  steps and employed a physician to attend upon me. I had not yet told
• 6:08:25
  her that I was a fugitive slave. She noticed that I was often sad
• 6:08:29
  and kindly inquired the cause. I spoke of being separated from my children and
• 6:08:33
  from relatives who were dear to me, But I did not mention the constant
• 6:08:37
  feeling of insecurity which oppressed my spirits. I longed for some one to confide
• 6:08:42
  it, but I had been so deceived by white people that I had lost
• 6:08:45
  all confidence in them. If they spoke kind words to me, I thought
• 6:08:49
  it was for some selfish purpose. I had entered this family with the distrustful
• 6:08:53
  feelings I had brought with me out of slavery. But ere six months had
• 6:08:57
  passed, I found that the gentle deportment of Missus Bruce and the smiles of
• 6:09:02
  her lovely babe were thawing my chilled heart. My narrow mind also began to
• 6:09:06
  expand under the influence of her intelligent conversation and the opportunities for reading, which
• 6:09:11
  were gladly allowed me whenever I had leisure from my duties. I gradually became
• 6:09:15
  more energetic and more cheerful. The old feeling of insecurity, especially with regard
• 6:09:21
  to my children, often threw its dark shadow across my sunshine. Missus Bruce
• 6:09:26
  offered me a home for Ellen, but pleasant as it would have been,
• 6:09:30
  I did not dare to accept it for fear of offending the Hobbes family.
• 6:09:33
  Their knowledge of my precarious situation placed me in their power, and I felt
• 6:09:37
  that it was important for me to keep on the right side of them till
• 6:09:41
  by dint of labor and economy, I could make a home for my children.
• 6:09:45
  I was far from feeling satisfied with Ellen's situation. She was not well
• 6:09:48
  cared for. She sometimes came to New York to visit me, but she
• 6:09:52
  generally brought request from Missus Hobbs that I would buy her a pair of shoes
• 6:09:56
  or some article of clothing. This was a companied by a promise of payment
• 6:10:00
  when mister Hobbs's salary at the custom house became due, but somehow or other,
• 6:10:06
  the pay day never came. Thus, many dollars of my earnings were
• 6:10:10
  expended to keep my child comfortably clothed. That, however, was a slight
• 6:10:15
  trouble compared with the fear that their pecuniary embarrassments might induce them to sell my
• 6:10:18
  precious young daughter. I knew they were in constant communication with Southerners and had
• 6:10:23
  frequent opportunities to do it. I have stated that when doctor Flint put Ellen
• 6:10:29
  in jail at two years old, she had an inflammation of the eyes occasioned
• 6:10:32
  by measles. This disease still troubled her, and kind Missus Bruce proposed that
• 6:10:37
  she should come to New York for a while to be under the care of
• 6:10:40
  doctor Elliot, a well known oculist. It did not occur to me that
• 6:10:44
  there was anything improper in a mother's making such a request, but Missus Hobbs
• 6:10:48
  was very angry and refused to let her go. Situated as I was,
• 6:10:52
  it was not politic to insist upon it. I made no complaint, but
• 6:10:56
  I longed to be entirely free to act a mother's part towards my children.
• 6:11:00
  The next time I went over to Brooklyn, Missus Hobbs, as if to
• 6:11:03
  apologize for her anger, told me she had employed her own physician to attend
• 6:11:07
  to Ellen's eyes, and that she had refused my request because she did not
• 6:11:11
  consider it safe to trust her in New York. I accepted the explanation in
• 6:11:15
  silence, but she had told me that my child belonged to her daughter,
• 6:11:18
  and I suspected that her real motive was a fear of my conveying her property
• 6:11:22
  away from her. Perhaps I did her an injustice, but my knowledge of
• 6:11:26
  Southerners made it difficult for me to feel otherwise. Sweet and bitter were mixed
• 6:11:32
  in the cup of my life, and I was thankful that it had ceased
• 6:11:34
  to be entirely bitter. I loved missus Bruce's babe. When it laughed and
• 6:11:40
  crowed in my face and twined its little tender arms confidingly about my neck,
• 6:11:45
  it made me think of the time when Benny and Ellen were babies, and
• 6:11:48
  my wounded heart was soothed. One bright morning, as I stood at the
• 6:11:52
  window, tossing baby in my arms, my attention was attracted by a young
• 6:11:56
  man in sailor's dress who was closely observing every house. As he passed,
• 6:12:00
  I looked at him earnestly. Could it be my brother William? It must
• 6:12:04
  be he, And yet how changed? I placed the baby safely, flew
• 6:12:11
  down the stairs and opened the front door, beckoned to the sailor, and
• 6:12:14
  in less than a minute I was clasped in my brother's arms. How much
• 6:12:18
  we had to tell each other, how we laughed, and how we cried
• 6:12:22
  over each other's adventures. I took him to Brooklyn and again saw him with
• 6:12:25
  Ellen, the dear child whom he had loved and tended so carefully while I
• 6:12:29
  was shut up in my miserable den. He stayed in New York a week.
• 6:12:33
  His old feelings of affection for me and Ellen were as lively as ever.
• 6:12:37
  There are no bonds so strong as those which were formed by suffering together.
• 6:12:44
  End of Chapter thirty three, Chapter thirty four, The old enemy again.
• 6:12:52
  My young mistress, Miss Emily Flint, did not return any answer to
• 6:12:55
  my letter requesting her to consent to my being sold. But after a while
• 6:13:00
  I received a reply which purported to be written by her younger brother. In
• 6:13:03
  order rightly to enjoy the contents of this letter, the reader must bear in
• 6:13:07
  mind that the Flint family supposed I had been at the North many years.
• 6:13:11
  They had no idea that I knew of the Doctor's three excursions to New York
• 6:13:15
  in search of me, that I had heard his voice when he came to
• 6:13:18
  borrow five hundred dollars for that purpose, and that I had seen him pass
• 6:13:22
  on his way to the steamboat. Neither were they aware that all the particulars
• 6:13:26
  of Aunt Nancy's death and burial were conveyed to me at the time they occurred.
• 6:13:30
  I have kept this letter, of which I herewith subjoin a copy.
• 6:13:36
  Your letter to sister was received a few days ago. I gather from it
• 6:13:40
  that you are desirous of returning to your native place among your friends and relatives.
• 6:13:45
  We were all gratified with the contents of your letter, and let me
• 6:13:48
  assure you that if any members of the family have had any feeling of resentment
• 6:13:52
  towards you, they feel it no longer. We all sympathize with you in
• 6:13:56
  your unfortunate condition and are ready to do all in our path to make you
• 6:14:00
  contented and happy. It is difficult for you to return home as a free
• 6:14:03
  person. If you were purchased by your grandmother, it is doubtful whether you
• 6:14:08
  would be permitted to remain, although it would be lawful for you to do
• 6:14:11
  so. If the servant should be allowed to purchase herself after absenting herself so
• 6:14:17
  long from her owners, and return free, it would have an injurious effect.
• 6:14:22
  From your letter, I think your situation must be hard and uncomfortable.
• 6:14:26
  Come home. You have it in your power to be reinstated in our affections,
• 6:14:30
  we would receive you with open arms and tears of joy. You need
• 6:14:34
  not apprehend any unkind treatment, as we have not put ourselves to any trouble
• 6:14:38
  or expense to get you. Had we done so, perhaps we should feel
• 6:14:42
  otherwise. You know my sister was always attached to you, and that you
• 6:14:47
  were never treated as a slave. You were never put to hard work nor
• 6:14:51
  exposed to field labor. On the contrary, you were taken into the house
• 6:14:55
  and treated as one of us, and almost as free, and we at
• 6:14:59
  least felt that you were above disgracing yourself by running away. Believing you may
• 6:15:03
  be induced to come home voluntarily has induced me to write for my sister.
• 6:15:07
  The family will be rejoiced to see you, and your poor old grandmother expressed
• 6:15:12
  a great desire to have you come when she heard your letter read. In
• 6:15:17
  her old age, she needs the consolation of having her children round her.
• 6:15:21
  Doubtless you have heard of the death of your aunt. She was a faithful
• 6:15:23
  servant and a faithful member of the Episcopal Church. In her Christian life,
• 6:15:27
  she taught us how to live, and oh too high the price of knowledge,
• 6:15:32
  she taught us how to die. Could you have seen us round her
• 6:15:36
  death bed with her mother, all mingling our tears in one common stream.
• 6:15:40
  You would have thought the same heartfelt tie existed between a master and a servant
• 6:15:45
  as between a mother and her child. But this subject is too painful to
• 6:15:48
  dwell upon. I must bring my letter to a close. If you are
• 6:15:52
  contented to stay away from your old grandmother, your child, and the friends
• 6:15:56
  who love you, stay where you are. We shall never trouble ourselves to
• 6:16:00
  apprehend you, but should you prefer to come home, we will do all
• 6:16:04
  that we can to make you happy. If you do not wish to remain
• 6:16:07
  in the family, I know that Father, by our persuasion, will be
• 6:16:11
  induced to let you be purchased by any person you may choose in our community.
• 6:16:15
  You will please answer this as soon as possible and let us know your
• 6:16:18
  decision. Sister sends much love to you. In the meantime, believe me
• 6:16:22
  your sincere friend and well wisher. This letter was signed by Emily's brother,
• 6:16:30
  who was as yet a mere lad. I knew by the style that it
• 6:16:33
  was not written by a person of his age, and though the writing was
• 6:16:37
  disguised, I had been made too unhappy by it in former years not to
• 6:16:41
  recognize at once the hand of doctor Flint. Oh, the hypocrisy of slaveholders.
• 6:16:47
  Did the old fox suppose I was goose enough to go into such a
• 6:16:49
  trap? Verily he relied too much on the stupidity of the African race.
• 6:16:56
  I did not return the family of Flint's any thanks for their cordial and vis
• 6:17:00
  a remissness, for which I was no doubt charged with base ingratitude. Not
• 6:17:06
  long afterwards, I received a letter from one of my friends at the South
• 6:17:10
  informing me that doctor Flint was about to visit the North. The letter had
• 6:17:14
  been delayed, and I supposed he might be already on the way. Missus
• 6:17:18
  Bruce did not know I was a fugitive. I told her that important business
• 6:17:22
  called me to Boston, where my brother then was, and asked permission to
• 6:17:25
  bring a friend to supply my place as nurse for a fortnight. I started
• 6:17:30
  on my journey immediately, and as soon as I arrived, I wrote to
• 6:17:33
  my grandmother that if Benny came, he must be sent to Boston. I
• 6:17:37
  knew she was only waiting for a good chance to send him north, and
• 6:17:40
  fortunately she had the legal power to do so without asking leave of anybody.
• 6:17:44
  She was a free woman, and when my children were purchased, mister Sands
• 6:17:48
  preferred to have the bill of sale drawn up in her name. It was
• 6:17:52
  conjectured that he advanced the money, but it was not known. At the
• 6:17:55
  South. A gentleman may have a shoal of colored children without any disgrace,
• 6:17:59
  but if he known to purchase them with the view of setting them free,
• 6:18:03
  the example is thought to be dangerous to their peculiar institution, and he becomes
• 6:18:07
  unpopular. There was a good opportunity to send Benny in a vessel coming directly
• 6:18:11
  to New York. He was put on board with a letter to a friend
• 6:18:15
  who was requested to see him off to Boston. Early one morning, there
• 6:18:18
  was a loud rap at my door, and in rushed Benjamin, all out
• 6:18:22
  of breath. Oh mother, he exclaimed, here I am. I run
• 6:18:26
  all the way, and I come all alone. How do you do,
• 6:18:30
  oh reader? Can you imagine my joy? No, you cannot unless you
• 6:18:37
  have been a slave. Mother. Benjamin rattled away as fast as his tongue
• 6:18:41
  could go. Mother, Why don't you bring Ellen here? I went over
• 6:18:45
  to Brooklyn to see her, and she felt very bad when I bid her
• 6:18:47
  good bye. She said, Oh, Ben, I wish I was going
• 6:18:51
  too. I thought she'd know ever so much. But she don't know so
• 6:18:53
  much as I do, for I can read and she can't. And Mother,
• 6:18:56
  I lost all my clothes coming. What can I do to get some
• 6:19:00
  more? I suppose free boys can get along here at the North as well
• 6:19:03
  as white boys. I did not like to tell the sanguine, happy little
• 6:19:07
  fellow how much he was mistaken. I took him to a tailor and procured
• 6:19:11
  a change of clothes. The rest of the day was spent in mutual asking
• 6:19:15
  and answering of questions, with the wish constantly repeated that the good old grandmother
• 6:19:19
  was with us, and frequent injunctions from Benny to write to her immediately and
• 6:19:25
  be sure to tell her everything about his voyage and his journey to Boston.
• 6:19:29
  Doctor Flint made his visit to New York and made every exertion to call upon
• 6:19:33
  me and invite me to return with him, but not being able to ascertain
• 6:19:37
  where I was, his hospitable intentions were frustrated, and the affectionate family who
• 6:19:41
  were waiting for me with open arms were doomed to disappointment. As soon as
• 6:19:47
  I knew he was safely at home. I placed Benjamin in the care of
• 6:19:49
  my brother William, and returned to Missus Bruce. There I remained through the
• 6:19:53
  winter and spring, endeavoring to perform my duties faithfully and finding a good degree
• 6:19:59
  of half happiness, and the attractions of baby Mary, the considerate kindness of
• 6:20:03
  her excellent mother, and occasional interviews with my darling daughter. But when summer
• 6:20:08
  came, the old feeling of insecurity haunted me. It was necessary for me
• 6:20:14
  to take little Mary out daily for exercise and fresh air, and the city
• 6:20:18
  was swarming with Southerners, some of whom might recognize me. Hot weather brings
• 6:20:22
  out snakes and slaveholders, and I like one class of the venomous creatures as
• 6:20:27
  little as I do the other. What a comfort it is to be free
• 6:20:32
  to say so. End of Chapter thirty four, Chapter thirty five, Prejudice
• 6:20:37
  against Color. It was a relief to my mind to see preparations for leaving
• 6:20:44
  the city. We went to Albany in the steamboat Knickerbocker. When the gong
• 6:20:48
  sounded for Tea, Missus Bruce said, Linda, it is late, and
• 6:20:52
  you and baby had better come to the table with me. I replied,
• 6:20:56
  I know it is time baby had her supper. But I had rather not
• 6:21:00
  go with you, if you please, I am afraid of being insulted.
• 6:21:03
  Oh no, not if you are with me, she said. I saw
• 6:21:07
  several white nurses go with their ladies, and I venture to do the same.
• 6:21:11
  We were at the extreme end of the table. I was no sooner
• 6:21:15
  seated than a gruff voice said, get up. You know you are not
• 6:21:18
  allowed to sit here. I looked up, and, to my astonishment and
• 6:21:23
  indignation, saw that the speaker was a colored man. If his office required
• 6:21:29
  him to enforce the by laws of the boat, he might at least have
• 6:21:32
  done it politely. I replied, I shall not get up unless the captain
• 6:21:37
  comes and takes me up. No cup of tea was offered me, but
• 6:21:41
  Missus Bruce handed me hers and called for another. I looked to see whether
• 6:21:45
  the other nurses were treated in a similar manner. They were all properly waited.
• 6:21:49
  On next morning, when we stopped at Troy for breakfast, everybody was
• 6:21:55
  making a rush for the table. Missus Bruce said, take my arm,
• 6:21:59
  Linda, and we'll go in together. The landlord heard her and said,
• 6:22:03
  madam, will you allow your nurse and baby to take breakfast with my family.
• 6:22:07
  I knew this was to be attributed to my complexion, but he spoke
• 6:22:11
  courteously, and therefore I did not mind it. At Saratoga, we found
• 6:22:17
  the United States Hotel crowded, and mister Bruce took one of the cottages belonging
• 6:22:21
  to the hotel. I had thought, with gladness, of going to the
• 6:22:23
  quiet of the country, where I should meet few people. But here I
• 6:22:27
  found myself in the midst of a swarm of Southerners. I looked round me
• 6:22:32
  with fear and trembling, dreading to see someone who would recognize me. I
• 6:22:37
  was rejoiced to find that we were to stay but a short time. We
• 6:22:40
  soon returned to New York to make arrangements for spending the remainder of the summer
• 6:22:44
  at Rockaway. While the laundress was putting the clothes in order, I took
• 6:22:48
  an opportunity to go over to Brooklyn to see Ellen. I met her going
• 6:22:51
  to a grocery store, and the first words she said were, oh,
• 6:22:55
  mother, don't go to missus Hobbs. Her brother, mister Thorn has come
• 6:22:57
  from the South, and may be he'll tell where you are. I accepted
• 6:23:02
  the warning I told her I was going away with Missus Bruce the next day
• 6:23:06
  and would try to see her when I came back. Being in servitude to
• 6:23:10
  the Anglo Saxon Race, I was not put into a jim Crow car on
• 6:23:14
  our way to Rockaway, neither was I invited to ride through the streets on
• 6:23:18
  the top of trunks in a truck. But everywhere I found the same manifestations
• 6:23:22
  of that cruel prejudice which so discourages the feelings and represses the energies of the
• 6:23:26
  colored people. We reached Rockway before dark and put up at the Pavilion,
• 6:23:32
  a large hotel beautifully situated by the sea side, a great resort of the
• 6:23:37
  fashionable world. Thirty or forty nurses were there, of a great variety of
• 6:23:41
  nations. Some of the ladies had colored waiting maids and coachmen, but I
• 6:23:45
  was the only nurse tinged with the blood of Africa. When the tea bell
• 6:23:49
  rang, I took Little Mary and followed the other nurses. Supper was served
• 6:23:53
  in a long hall. A young man who had the ordering of things,
• 6:23:56
  took the circuit of the table two or three times, and finally pointed me
• 6:24:00
  to a seat at the lower end of it. As there was but one
• 6:24:03
  chair, I sat down took the child in my lap, whereupon the young
• 6:24:07
  man came to me and said, in the blandest manner possible, will you
• 6:24:11
  please to see the little girl in the chair and stand behind it and feed
• 6:24:15
  her. After they have done, you will be shown to the kitchen,
• 6:24:18
  where you will have a good supper. This was the climax. I found
• 6:24:23
  it hard to preserve my self control when I looked round and saw women who
• 6:24:27
  were nurses as I was, and only one shade lighter in complexion, eyeing
• 6:24:33
  me with a defiant look, as if my presence were a contamination. However,
• 6:24:38
  I said nothing. I quietly took the child in my arms, went
• 6:24:41
  to our room and refused to go to the table again. Mister Bruce ordered
• 6:24:45
  meals to be sent to the room for little Mary and I. This answered
• 6:24:49
  for a few days, but the waiters of the establishment were white, and
• 6:24:52
  they soon began to complain, saying they were not hired to wait on negroes.
• 6:24:59
  The landlord usted mister Bruce to send me down to my meals because his
• 6:25:03
  servants rebelled against bringing them up, and the colored servants of other boarders were
• 6:25:06
  dissatisfied because all were not treated alike. My answer was that the colored servants
• 6:25:11
  ought to be dissatisfied with themselves for not having too much self respect to submit
• 6:25:15
  to such treatment, that there was no difference in the price of board for
• 6:25:19
  colored and white servants, and there was no justification for difference of treatment.
• 6:25:23
  I stayed a month after this, and, finding I was resolved to stand
• 6:25:27
  up for my rights, they concluded to treat me well. Let every colored
• 6:25:32
  man and woman do this, and eventually we shall cease to be trampled under
• 6:25:36
  foot by our oppressors. End of chapter thirty five, Chapter thirty six,
• 6:25:42
  The hair Breadth Escape. After we returned to New York, I took the
• 6:25:48
  earliest opportunity to go and see Ellen. I asked to have her called downstairs,
• 6:25:52
  for I supposed Missus Hobbs's southern brother might still be there, and I
• 6:25:56
  was desirous to avoid seeing him if possible. But Missus Hobbs came to the
• 6:26:00
  kitchen and insisted on my going upstairs. My brother wants to see you,
• 6:26:04
  said she, and he is sorry you seemed to shun him. He knows
• 6:26:07
  you are living in New York. He told me to say to you that
• 6:26:11
  he owes thanks to good old Aunt Martha for too many little acts of kindness
• 6:26:15
  for him to be base enough to betray her grand child. This mister Thorn
• 6:26:18
  had become poor and reckless long before he left the South, and such persons
• 6:26:23
  had much rather go to one of the faithful old slaves to borrow a dollar
• 6:26:27
  or get a good dinner, than to go to one whom they consider an
• 6:26:30
  equal. It was such acts of kindness as these for which he professed to
• 6:26:34
  feel grateful to my grandmother. I wished he had kept at a distance,
• 6:26:38
  but as he was here and knew where I was, I concluded there was
• 6:26:42
  nothing to be gained by trying to avoid him. On the contrary, it
• 6:26:45
  might be the means of exciting his ill will. I followed his sister upstairs.
• 6:26:51
  He met me in a very friendly manner, congratulated me on my escape
• 6:26:55
  from slavery, and hoped I had a good place where I felt happy.
• 6:26:59
  I continued to visit Ellen as often as I could. She good, thoughtful
• 6:27:03
  child, never forgot my hazardous situation, but always kept a vigilant look out
• 6:27:07
  for my safety. She never made any complaint about her own inconveniences, and
• 6:27:11
  troubles, but a mother's observing eye easily perceived that she was not happy.
• 6:27:17
  On the occasion of one of my visits, I found her unusually serious.
• 6:27:21
  When I asked her what was the matter, She said nothing was the matter,
• 6:27:25
  but I insisted upon knowing what made her look so very grave. Finally
• 6:27:29
  I ascertained that she felt troubled about the dissipation that was continually going on in
• 6:27:33
  the house. She was sent to the store very often for rum and brandy,
• 6:27:37
  and she felt ashamed to ask for it so often. And mister Hobbs
• 6:27:41
  and mister Thorn drank a great deal, and their hands trembled so that they
• 6:27:45
  had to call her to pour out the liquor for them. But for all
• 6:27:48
  that, said she, mister Hobbs is good to me, and I can't
• 6:27:52
  help liking him. I feel sorry for him. I tried to comfort her
• 6:27:56
  by telling her that I had laid up a hundred dollars and that before long
• 6:28:00
  I hoped to be able to give her and Benjamin a home and send them
• 6:28:03
  to school. She was always desirous not to add to my troubles more than
• 6:28:07
  she could help, and I did not discover till years afterwards that mister Thorn's
• 6:28:11
  intemperance was not the only annoyance she suffered from him. Though he professed too
• 6:28:15
  much gratitude to my grandmother to injure any of her descendants, he had poured
• 6:28:21
  vile language into the ears of her innocent great grandchild. I usually went to
• 6:28:26
  Brooklyn to spend Sunday afternoon. One Sunday I found Ellen anxiously waiting for me
• 6:28:30
  near the house. Oh, mother, said she, I've been waiting for
• 6:28:34
  you this long time. I'm afraid mister Thorn has written to tell doctor Flint
• 6:28:38
  where you are. Make haste and come in, missus Hobbs will tell you
• 6:28:41
  all about it. The story was soon told. While the children were playing
• 6:28:47
  in the grapevine arbor the day before, mister Thorn came out with a letter
• 6:28:49
  in his hand, which he tore up and scattered about. Ellen was sweeping
• 6:28:53
  the yard at the time, and, having her mind full of suspicions of
• 6:28:56
  him, she picked up the pieces and carried them to the children, saying,
• 6:29:00
  I wonder whom mister Thorn has been writing to. I'm sure I don't
• 6:29:04
  know, and don't care, replied the oldest of the children, And I
• 6:29:07
  don't see how it concerns you, But it does concern me, replied Ellen,
• 6:29:12
  for I'm afraid he's been writing to the South about my mother. They
• 6:29:17
  laughed at her and called her a silly thing, but good naturedly put the
• 6:29:19
  fragments of writing together in order to read them to her. They were no
• 6:29:23
  sooner arranged than the little girl exclaimed. I declare, Ellen, I believe
• 6:29:27
  you are right. The contents of mister Thorn's letter, as nearly as I
• 6:29:32
  can remember, were as follows. I have seen your slave Linda and conversed
• 6:29:37
  with her. She can be taken very easily if you manage prudently. There
• 6:29:41
  are enough of us here to swear to her identity as your property. I
• 6:29:45
  am a patriot, a lover of my country, and I do this as
• 6:29:48
  an act of justice to the laws. He concluded by informing the doctor of
• 6:29:52
  the street and number where I lived. The children carried the pieces to missus
• 6:29:56
  Hobbs, who immediately went to her brother's room for ant explanation. He was
• 6:30:00
  not to be found. The servants said they saw him go out with a
• 6:30:04
  letter in his hand, and they supposed he had gone to the post office.
• 6:30:07
  The natural inference was that he had sent to doctor Flint a copy of
• 6:30:11
  those fragments. When he returned, his sister accused him of it, and
• 6:30:15
  he did not deny the charge. He went immediately to his room, and
• 6:30:19
  the next morning he was missing. He had gone over to New York before
• 6:30:23
  any of the family were astir It was evident that I had no time to
• 6:30:27
  lose, and I hastened back to the city with a heavy heart. Again
• 6:30:32
  I was to be torn from a comfortable home, and all my plans for
• 6:30:36
  the welfare of my children were to be frustrated by that demon slavery. I
• 6:30:41
  now regretted that I never told missus Bruce my story. I had not concealed
• 6:30:45
  it merely on account of being a fugitive. That would have made her anxious,
• 6:30:48
  but it would have excited sympathy in her kind heart. I valued her
• 6:30:52
  good opinion, and I was afraid of losing it if I told her all
• 6:30:55
  the particulars of my sad story. But now I felt that it was necessary
• 6:30:59
  for her to know how I was situated. I had once left her abruptly
• 6:31:03
  without explaining the reason, and it would not be proper to do it again.
• 6:31:07
  I went home, resolved to tell her in the morning, but the
• 6:31:10
  sadness of my face attracted her attention, and in answer to her kind inquiries,
• 6:31:15
  I poured out my full heart to her before bedtime. She listened with
• 6:31:18
  true womanly sympathy and told me she would do all she could to protect me.
• 6:31:23
  How my heart blessed her. Early the next morning, Judge vander Poole
• 6:31:29
  and lawyer Hopper were consulted. They said I had better leave the city at
• 6:31:33
  once, as the risk would be great if the case came to trial.
• 6:31:36
  Missus Bruce took me in a carriage to the house of one of her friends,
• 6:31:38
  where she assured me I should be safe until my brother should arrive,
• 6:31:41
  which would be in a few days. In the interval, my thoughts were
• 6:31:45
  much occupied with Ellen. She was mine by birth, and she was also
• 6:31:48
  mine by Southern law, since my grandmother held the bill of sale that made
• 6:31:52
  her so. I did not feel that she was safe unless I had her
• 6:31:56
  with me. Missus Hobbs, who felt badly about her brother treachery, yielded
• 6:32:00
  to my entreaties on condition that she should return in ten days. I avoided
• 6:32:06
  making any promise. She came to me clad in very thin garments, all
• 6:32:10
  out grown, and with a school satchel on her arm containing a few articles.
• 6:32:15
  It was late in October, and I knew the child must suffer,
• 6:32:18
  and, not daring to go out in the streets to purchase anything, I
• 6:32:21
  took off my own flannel skirt and converted it into one for her kind.
• 6:32:26
  Missus Bruce came to bid me good bye, and when she saw that I
• 6:32:29
  had taken off my clothing for my child, the tears came to her eyes.
• 6:32:33
  She said, wait for me, Linda, and went out. She
• 6:32:37
  soon returned with a nice, warm shawl and hood for Ellen. Truly of
• 6:32:41
  such souls as hers are the Kingdom of Heaven. My brother reached New York
• 6:32:45
  on Wednesday. Lawyer Hopper advised us to go to Boston by the Stonington route,
• 6:32:49
  as there was less southern travel in that direction. Missus Bruce directed her
• 6:32:55
  servants to tell all inquirers that I formerly lived there, but had gone from
• 6:32:59
  the city. We reached the steamboat Rhode Island in safety. The boat employed
• 6:33:03
  colored hands, but I knew that colored passengers were not admitted to the cabin.
• 6:33:07
  I was very desirous for the seclusion of the cabin, not only on
• 6:33:11
  account of exposure to the night air, but also to avoid observation. Lawyer
• 6:33:15
  Hopper was waiting on board for us. He spoke to the stewardess and asked,
• 6:33:18
  as a particular favor, that she would treat us well. He said,
• 6:33:22
  to me, go and speak to the captain yourself. By and by,
• 6:33:26
  take your little girl with you, and I am sure he will not
• 6:33:27
  let her sleep on deck. With these kind words and shake of the hand,
• 6:33:33
  he departed. The boat was soon on her way, bearing me rapidly
• 6:33:36
  from the friendly home, where I had hoped to find security and rest.
• 6:33:40
  My brother had left me to purchase the tickets, thinking that I might have
• 6:33:42
  better success than he would. When the stewardess came to me, I paid
• 6:33:47
  what she asked, and she gave me three tickets with clipped corners in the
• 6:33:51
  most unsophisticated manner. I said, you have made a mistake. I asked
• 6:33:56
  you for cabin tickets. I cannot possibly consent to sleep on deck with my
• 6:34:00
  little daughter. She assured me that there was no mistake. She said,
• 6:34:03
  on some of the routes, colored people were allowed to sleep in the cabin,
• 6:34:07
  but not on this route, which was much traveled by the wealthy I
• 6:34:10
  asked her to show me to the captain's office, and she said she would
• 6:34:14
  after tea. When the time came, I took Ellen by the hand and
• 6:34:17
  went to the captain, politely requesting him to change our tickets, as we
• 6:34:21
  should be very uncomfortable on deck. He said it was contrary to the custom,
• 6:34:25
  but he would see that we had berths below. He would also try
• 6:34:27
  to obtain comfortable seats for us in the cars. Of that he was not
• 6:34:30
  certain, but he would speak to the conductor about it. When the boat
• 6:34:33
  arrived, I thanked him and returned to the lady's cabin. He came afterwards
• 6:34:38
  and told me that the conductor of the cars was on board, that he
• 6:34:41
  had spoken to him and he had promised to take care of us. I
• 6:34:45
  was very much surprised at receiving so much kindness. I don't know whether the
• 6:34:48
  pleasing face of my little girl had won his heart, or whether the stewardess
• 6:34:52
  inferred from Lawyer Hopper's manner that I was a fugitive and had pleaded with him
• 6:34:56
  in my behalf. When the boat arrived at Stonington, the conductor kept his
• 6:35:00
  promise and showed us to seats in the first car nearest the engine. He
• 6:35:04
  asked us to take seats next the door, but as he passed through,
• 6:35:08
  we ventured to move on toward the other end of the car. No incivility
• 6:35:12
  was offered us, and we reached Boston in safety. The day after my
• 6:35:17
  arrival was one of the happiest of my life. I felt as if I
• 6:35:19
  was beyond the reach of the Bloodhounds, and for the first time during many
• 6:35:23
  years, I had both my children together with me. They greatly enjoyed their
• 6:35:29
  reunion and laughed and chatted merrily. I watched them with a swelling heart.
• 6:35:34
  Their every motion delighted me. I could not feel safe in New York,
• 6:35:38
  and I accepted the offer of a friend that we should share expenses and keep
• 6:35:42
  house together. I represented to missus Hobbs that Ellen must have some schooling and
• 6:35:47
  must remain with me for that purpose. She felt ashamed of being unable to
• 6:35:51
  read or spell at her age, so instead of sending her to school with
• 6:35:55
  Benny, I instructed her myself till she was fitted to enter an intermediate school
• 6:35:59
  the winter, Pas asked pleasantly. While I was busy with my needle and
• 6:36:02
  my children with their books. End of chapter thirty six, Chapter thirty seven.
• 6:36:08
  A visit to England in the spring, sad news came to me.
• 6:36:15
  Missus Bruce was dead. Never again in this world should I see her gentle
• 6:36:18
  face or hear her sympathizing voice. I had lost an excellent friend, and
• 6:36:25
  little Mary had lost a tender mother. Mister Bruce wished the child to visit
• 6:36:29
  some of her mother's relatives in England, and he was desirous that I should
• 6:36:33
  take charge of her. The little motherless one was accustomed to me and attached
• 6:36:37
  to me, and I thought she would be happier in my care than in
• 6:36:40
  that of a stranger. I could also earn more in this way than I
• 6:36:42
  could by my needle, so I put Benny to a trade and left Ellen
• 6:36:47
  to remain in the house with my friend and go to school. We sailed
• 6:36:51
  from New York and arrived in Liverpool after a pleasant voyage of twelve days.
• 6:36:56
  We proceeded directly to London and took lodgings at the Adelaide Hotel. The supper
• 6:37:00
  seemed to me less luxurious than those I had seen in American hotels, but
• 6:37:04
  my situation was indescribably more pleasant. For the first time, in my life.
• 6:37:08
  I was in a place where I was treated according to my deportment,
• 6:37:11
  without reference to my complexion. I felt as if a great millstone had been
• 6:37:17
  lifted from my breast. Ensconced in a pleasant room with my dear little charge,
• 6:37:22
  I laid my head on my pillow for the first time with the delightful
• 6:37:26
  consciousness of pure, unadulterated freedom. As I had constant care of the child,
• 6:37:32
  I had little opportunity to see the wonders of that great city. But
• 6:37:36
  I watched the tide of life that flowed through the streets and found it a
• 6:37:38
  strange contrast to the stagnation in our southern towns. Mister Bruce took his little
• 6:37:44
  daughter to spend some days with friends in Oxford Crescent, and of course it
• 6:37:48
  was necessary for me to accompany her. I had heard much of the systematic
• 6:37:52
  method of English education, and I was very desirous that my dear Mary should
• 6:37:56
  steer straight in the midst of so much propriety. I close observed her little
• 6:38:00
  playmates and their nurses, being ready to take any lessons in the science of
• 6:38:03
  good management. The children were more rosy than American children, but I did
• 6:38:08
  not see that they differed materially. In other respects, they were like all
• 6:38:11
  children, sometimes docile and sometimes wayward. We next went to Steventon in Berkshire.
• 6:38:19
  It was a small town said to be the poorest in the county.
• 6:38:22
  I saw men working in the fields for six shillings and seven shillings a week,
• 6:38:27
  and women for sixpence and sevenpence a day, out of which they boarded
• 6:38:30
  themselves. Of course, they lived in the most primitive manner. It could
• 6:38:34
  not be otherwise, where a woman's wages for an entire day were not sufficient
• 6:38:38
  to buy a pound of meat. They paid very low rents, and their
• 6:38:41
  clothes were made of the cheapest fabrics, though much better than could have been
• 6:38:45
  procured in the United States for the same money. I had heard much about
• 6:38:48
  the oppression of the poor in Europe. The people I saw around me were,
• 6:38:52
  many of them among the poorest poor. But when I visited them their
• 6:38:56
  little thatched cottages, I felt that the condition of even the meanest and most
• 6:39:00
  ignorant among them was vastly superior to the condition of the most favored slaves in
• 6:39:04
  America. They labored hard, but they were not ordered out to toil while
• 6:39:08
  the stars were in the sky, and driven and slashed by an overseer through
• 6:39:11
  heat and cold till the stars shone out again. Their homes were very humble,
• 6:39:17
  but they were protected by law. No insolent patrols could come in the
• 6:39:22
  dead of night and flog them at their pleasure. The father, when he
• 6:39:25
  closed his cottage door, felt safe with his family around him. No master
• 6:39:29
  or overseer could come and take from him his wife or his daughter. They
• 6:39:33
  must separate to earn their living, but the parents knew where their children were
• 6:39:37
  going and could communicate with them by letters. The relations of husband and wife,
• 6:39:41
  parent and child were too sacred for the richest noble in the land to
• 6:39:45
  violate with impunity. Much was being done to enlighten these poor people. Schools
• 6:39:51
  were established among them, and benevolent societies were active in efforts to ameliorate their
• 6:39:56
  condition. There was no law forbidding them to learn to read, and if
• 6:40:00
  they helped each other in spelling out the Bible, they were in no danger
• 6:40:03
  of thirty nine lashes, as was the case with myself and poor pious old
• 6:40:07
  uncle Fred. I repeat that the most ignorant and the most destitute of these
• 6:40:12
  peasants was a thousandfold better off than the most pampered American slave. I do
• 6:40:18
  not deny that the poor are oppressed in Europe. I am not disposed to
• 6:40:22
  paint their condition so rose colored as the honorable Miss Murray paints the condition of
• 6:40:26
  the slaves in the United States. A small portion of my experience would enable
• 6:40:32
  her to read her own pages with anointed eyes. If she were to lay
• 6:40:34
  aside her title and, instead of visiting among the fashionable, become domesticated as
• 6:40:40
  a poor governess on some plantation in Louisiana or Alabama, she would see and
• 6:40:45
  hear things that would make her tell quite a different story. My visit to
• 6:40:49
  England is a memorable event in my life, from the fact of my having
• 6:40:52
  there received strong religious impressions. The contemptuous manner in which the communion had been
• 6:40:57
  administered to colored people in my native place. The church membership of doctor Flint
• 6:41:03
  and others like him, and the buying and selling of slaves by professed ministers
• 6:41:07
  of the Gospel, had given me a prejudice against the Episcopal Church. The
• 6:41:11
  whole service seemed to me a mockery and a sham. But my home in
• 6:41:15
  Steventon was in the family of a clergyman who was a true disciple of Jesus.
• 6:41:19
  The beauty of his daily life inspired me with faith in the genuineness of
• 6:41:23
  Christian professions. Grace entered my heart, and I knelt at the communion table.
• 6:41:27
  I trust in true humility of soul. I remained abroad ten months,
• 6:41:33
  which was much longer than I had anticipated. During all that time, I
• 6:41:37
  never saw the slightest symptom of prejudice against color. Indeed, I entirely forgot
• 6:41:41
  it till the time came for us to return to America. End of chapter
• 6:41:48
  thirty seven. Chapter thirty eight renewed invitations to go south. We had a
• 6:41:56
  tedious winter passage, and from the distance, specters seemed to row up on
• 6:42:00
  the shores of the United States. It is a sad feeling to be afraid
• 6:42:03
  of one's native country. We arrived in New York safely, and I hastened
• 6:42:07
  to Boston to look after my children. I found Ellen well and improving at
• 6:42:12
  her school, but Benny was not there to welcome me. He had been
• 6:42:17
  left in a good place to learn a trade, and for several months everything
• 6:42:21
  worked well. He was liked by the master and was a favorite with his
• 6:42:23
  fellow apprentices. But one day they accidentally discovered a fact they had never before
• 6:42:29
  suspected, that he was colored. This at once transformed him into a different
• 6:42:33
  being. Some of the apprentices were Americans, others American born Irish, and
• 6:42:38
  it was offensive to their dignity to have a nigger among them. After they
• 6:42:42
  had been told that he was a nigger, they began by treating him with
• 6:42:45
  silent scorn, and, finding that he returned the same, they resorted to
• 6:42:49
  insults and abuse. He was too spirited a boy to stand that, and
• 6:42:53
  he went off. Being desirous to do something to support himself, and having
• 6:42:59
  no one to advise him, he shipped for a wailing voyage. When I
• 6:43:02
  received these tidings, I shed many tears and bitterly reproached myself for having left
• 6:43:07
  him so long. But I had done it for the best, and now
• 6:43:11
  all I could do was to pray to the heavenly Father to guide and protect
• 6:43:14
  him. Not long after my return, I received the following letter from Miss
• 6:43:18
  Emily Flint, now missus Dodge. In this you will recognize the hand of
• 6:43:23
  your friend and mistress. Having heard that you had gone with a family to
• 6:43:27
  Europe, I have waited to hear of your return to write to you.
• 6:43:30
  I should have answered the letter you wrote to me long since, but as
• 6:43:33
  I could not then act independently of my father, I knew there could be
• 6:43:37
  nothing done satisfactory to you. There were persons here who were willing to buy
• 6:43:41
  you, and run the risk of getting you to this. I would not
• 6:43:45
  consent. I have always been attached to you and would not like to see
• 6:43:48
  you the slave of another or have unkind treatment. I am married now and
• 6:43:52
  can protect you. My husband expects to move to Virginia this spring, where
• 6:43:56
  we think of settling. I am very anxious that you should come and live
• 6:44:00
  with me. If you are not willing to come, you may purchase yourself,
• 6:44:04
  but I should prefer having you live with me. If you come,
• 6:44:07
  you may, if you like, spend a month with your grandmother and friends,
• 6:44:11
  then come to me in Norfolk, Virginia. Think this over and write
• 6:44:14
  as soon as possible, and let me know the conclusion. Hoping that your
• 6:44:18
  children are well, I remain your friend and mistress. Of course I did
• 6:44:22
  not write to return thanks for this cordial invitation. I felt insulted to be
• 6:44:27
  thought stupid enough to be caught by such professions. Come into my parlor,
• 6:44:33
  said the spider to the fly, tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you
• 6:44:37
  did spy. It was plain that Doctor Flint's family were apprized of my movements,
• 6:44:41
  since they knew of my voyage to Europe. I expected to have further
• 6:44:45
  trouble from them, But having eluded them thus far, I hoped to be
• 6:44:48
  as successful in future. The money I had earned, I was desirous to
• 6:44:52
  devote to the education of my children and to secure home for them. It
• 6:44:57
  seemed not only hard but unjust us to pay for myself. I could not
• 6:45:02
  possibly regard myself as a piece of property. Moreover, I had worked many
• 6:45:07
  years without wages, and during that time had been obliged to depend on my
• 6:45:11
  grandmother for many comforts and food and clothing. My children certainly belonged to me,
• 6:45:15
  but though Doctor Flint had incurred no expense for their support, he had
• 6:45:19
  received a large sum of money for them. I knew the law would decide
• 6:45:22
  that I was his property, and would probably still give his daughter a claim
• 6:45:26
  to my children. But I regarded such laws as the regulations of robbers who
• 6:45:30
  had no rights, that I was bound to respect. The fugitive slave law
• 6:45:36
  had not then passed. The judges of Massachusetts had not then stooped under chain
• 6:45:41
  to enter her courts of justice so called. I knew my old master was
• 6:45:45
  rather skittish of Massachusetts. I relied on her love of freedom and felt safe
• 6:45:49
  on her soil. I am now aware that I honored the old Commonwealth beyond
• 6:45:55
  her deserts end of Chapter thirty eight, Chapter thirty nine, the Confession.
• 6:46:03
  For two years, my daughter and I supported ourselves comfortably in Boston. At
• 6:46:07
  the end of that time, my brother William offered to send Ellen to a
• 6:46:11
  boarding school. It required a great effort for me to consent to part with
• 6:46:15
  her, for I had few near ties, and it was her presence that
• 6:46:18
  made my two little rooms seem home like. But my judgment prevailed over my
• 6:46:22
  selfish feelings. I made preparations for her departure. During the two years we
• 6:46:29
  had lived together, I had often resolved to tell her something about her father,
• 6:46:32
  but I had never been able to muster sufficient courage. I had a
• 6:46:36
  shrinking dread of diminishing my child's love. I knew she must have curiosity on
• 6:46:40
  the subject, but she had never asked a question. She was always very
• 6:46:44
  careful not to say anything to remind me of my troubles. Now that she
• 6:46:48
  was going from me, I thought if I should die before she returned,
• 6:46:51
  she might hear my story from some one who did not understand the palliating circumstances,
• 6:46:56
  and that if she were entirely ignorant on the subject, her sensitive nature
• 6:47:00
  might receive a rude shock. When we retired for the night, she said,
• 6:47:04
  mother, it is very hard to leave you alone. I am almost
• 6:47:08
  sorry. I am going, though I do want to improve myself. But
• 6:47:12
  you will write to me often, won't you. Mother. I did not
• 6:47:15
  throw my arms round her. I did not answer her, but in a
• 6:47:19
  calm, solemn way, for it cost me great effort. I said,
• 6:47:23
  listen to me, Ellen, I have something to tell you. I recounted
• 6:47:27
  my early sufferings and slavery and told her how nearly they had crushed me.
• 6:47:32
  I began to tell her how they had driven me to a great sin,
• 6:47:34
  when she clasped me in her arms and exclaimed, oh don't, mother,
• 6:47:37
  Please don't tell me any more. I said, but, my child,
• 6:47:42
  I want you to know about your father. I know all about it.
• 6:47:45
  Mother, She replied, I am nothing to my father, and he is
• 6:47:49
  nothing to me. All my love is for you. I was with him
• 6:47:53
  five months in Washington, and he never cared for me. He never spoke
• 6:47:57
  to me as he did to his little Fanny. I knew all the time
• 6:48:00
  he was my father, for Fanny's nurse told me so, but she said
• 6:48:03
  I must never tell anybody, and I never did. I used to wish
• 6:48:07
  he would take me in his arms and kiss me as he did Fanny,
• 6:48:11
  or that he would sometimes smile at me as he did at her. I
• 6:48:15
  thought, if he was my own father, he ought to love me.
• 6:48:18
  I was a little girl then and didn't know any better. But now I
• 6:48:22
  never think anything about my father. All my love is for you. She
• 6:48:26
  hugged me closer as she spoke, and I thanked God that the knowledge I
• 6:48:30
  had so much dreaded to impart had not diminished the affection of my child.
• 6:48:36
  I had not the slightest idea she knew that portion of my history. If
• 6:48:38
  I had, I should have spoken to her long before, for my pent
• 6:48:41
  up feelings had often longed to pour themselves out to some one I could trust.
• 6:48:47
  But I loved the dear girl better for the delicacy she had manifested towards
• 6:48:51
  her unfortunate mother. The next morning, she and her uncle started on their
• 6:48:55
  journey to the village in New York, where she was to be placed at
• 6:48:56
  school. It seemed as if all the sunshine had gone away. My little
• 6:49:02
  room was dreadfully lonely. I was thankful when a message came from a lady
• 6:49:07
  accustomed to employ me, requesting me to come and sew in her family for
• 6:49:10
  several weeks. On my return I found a letter from brother William. He
• 6:49:15
  thought of opening an anti slavery reading room in Rochester and combining with it the
• 6:49:18
  sale of some books and stationery, and he wanted me to unite with him.
• 6:49:22
  We tried it, but it was not successful. We found warm antislavery
• 6:49:27
  friends there, but the feeling was not general enough to support such an establishment.
• 6:49:33
  I passed nearly a year in the family of Isaac and Amy Post practical
• 6:49:37
  believers in the Christian doctrine of human brotherhood. They measure a man's worth by
• 6:49:41
  his character, not by his complexion. The memory of those beloved and honored
• 6:49:45
  friends will remain with me to my latest hour. End of chapter thirty nine,
• 6:49:52
  Chapter forty The Fugitive Slave Law. My brother being disappointed in his project,
• 6:49:59
  conclude to go to California, and it was agreed that Benjamin should go
• 6:50:03
  with him. Ellen liked her school and was a great favorite there. They
• 6:50:07
  did not know her history, and she did not tell it because she had
• 6:50:11
  no desire to make capital out of their sympathy. But when it was accidentally
• 6:50:15
  discovered that her mother was a fugitive slave, every method was used to increase
• 6:50:18
  her advantages and diminish her expenses. I was alone again. It was necessary
• 6:50:25
  for me to be earning money, and I preferred that it should be among
• 6:50:27
  those who knew me. On my return from Rochester, I called at the
• 6:50:32
  house of mister Bruce to see Mary, the darling little babe that had thawed
• 6:50:34
  my heart when it was freezing into a cheerless distrust of all my fellow beings.
• 6:50:40
  She was growing a tall girl now, but I loved her always.
• 6:50:44
  Mister Bruce had married again, and it was proposed that I should become nurse
• 6:50:48
  to a new infant. I had but one hesitation, and that was feeling
• 6:50:52
  of insecurity in New York, now greatly increased by the passage of the fugitive
• 6:50:56
  slave law. However, I resolved to try the experiment, I was again
• 6:51:02
  fortunate in my employer. The new Missus Bruce, was an American, brought
• 6:51:06
  up under aristocratic influences, and still living in the midst of them. But
• 6:51:10
  if she had any prejudice against color, I was never made aware of it.
• 6:51:12
  And as for the system of slavery, she had a most hearty dislike
• 6:51:17
  of it. No sophistry of Southerners could blind her to its enormity. She
• 6:51:21
  was a person of excellent principles and a noble heart. To me. From
• 6:51:25
  that hour to the present, she has been a true and sympathizing friend.
• 6:51:29
  Blessings be with her and hers. About the time that I re entered the
• 6:51:33
  Bruce family, an event occurred of disastrous import to the colored people. The
• 6:51:37
  slave Hamlin, the first fugitive that came under the new law, was given
• 6:51:41
  up by the bloodhounds of the North to the bloodhounds of the South. It
• 6:51:45
  was the beginning of a reign of terror to the colored population. The great
• 6:51:49
  city rushed on in its whirl of excitement, taking no note of the short
• 6:51:53
  and simple annals of the poor. But while fashionables were listening to the thrilling
• 6:51:59
  voice of Jenny Lynne in Metropolitan hall, the thrilling voices of poor, hunted
• 6:52:03
  colored people went up in an agony of supplication to the Lord from Zion's church.
• 6:52:08
  Many families who had lived in the city for twenty years fled from it.
• 6:52:12
  Now many a poor washerwoman, who by hard labor had made herself comfortable
• 6:52:18
  home, was obliged to sacrifice her furniture, bid a hurried farewell to friends,
• 6:52:22
  and seek her fortune among strangers. In Canada, many a wife discovered
• 6:52:26
  a secret she had never known before, that her husband was a fugitive and
• 6:52:30
  must leave her to ensure his own safety. Worse still, many a husband
• 6:52:34
  discovered that his wife had fled from slavery years ago, And as the child
• 6:52:40
  follows the condition of its mother, the children of his love were liable to
• 6:52:42
  be seized and carried into slavery. Everywhere in those humble homes there was consternation
• 6:52:48
  and anguish. But what cared the legislators of the dominant race for the blood
• 6:52:53
  they were crushing out of trampled hearts. When my brother William spent his last
• 6:52:59
  evening with me before he went to California, we talked nearly all the time
• 6:53:03
  of the distress brought on our oppressed people by the passage of this iniquitous law,
• 6:53:07
  And never had I seen him manifest such bitterness of spirit, such stern
• 6:53:11
  hostility to our oppressors. He was himself free from the operation of the law,
• 6:53:17
  for he did not run from any slaveholding state, being brought into the
• 6:53:19
  Free States by his master. But I was subject to it, and so
• 6:53:25
  were hundreds of intelligent and industrious people all around us. I seldom ventured into
• 6:53:30
  the streets, and when it was necessary to do an errand for Missus Bruce
• 6:53:33
  or any of the family, I went as much as possible through back streets
• 6:53:37
  and byways. What a disgrace to a city calling itself free, that inhabitants,
• 6:53:41
  guiltless of offense, and seeking to perform their duties conscientiously, should be
• 6:53:45
  condemned to live in such incessant fear and have nowhere to turn for protection.
• 6:53:52
  This state of things, of course, gave rise to many impromptu vigilance committees.
• 6:53:56
  Every colored person and every friend of their persecuted race kept their eyes wide
• 6:54:00
  open. Every evening I examined the newspapers carefully to see what Southerners had put
• 6:54:06
  up at the hotels. I did this for my own sake, thinking my
• 6:54:08
  young mistress and her husband might be among the list. I wished also to
• 6:54:12
  give information to others if necessary, for if many were running to and fro,
• 6:54:18
  I resolved that knowledge should be increased. This brings up one of my
• 6:54:22
  southern reminiscences, which I will here briefly relate. I was somewhat acquainted with
• 6:54:26
  a slave named Luke, who belonged to a wealthy man in our vicinity.
• 6:54:30
  His master died, leaving a son and daughter heirs to his large fortune.
• 6:54:36
  In the division of the slaves, Luke was included in the son's portion.
• 6:54:40
  This young man became a prey to the vices, and when he went to
• 6:54:42
  the north to complete his education, he carried his vices with him. He
• 6:54:47
  was brought home deprived of the use of his limbs by excessive dissipation. Luke
• 6:54:52
  was appointed to wait upon his bed ridden master, whose despotic habits were greatly
• 6:54:56
  increased by exasperation at his own helplessness. He kept a cowhide beside him,
• 6:55:00
  and for the most trivial occurrence he would order his attendant to bare his back
• 6:55:04
  and kneel beside the couch while he whipped him till his strength was exhausted.
• 6:55:10
  Some days he was not allowed to wear anything but his shirt in order to
• 6:55:12
  be in readiness to be flogged. A day seldom passed without his receiving more
• 6:55:18
  or less blows. If the slightest resistance was offered, the town constable was
• 6:55:22
  sent for to execute the punishment, and Luke learned from experience how much more
• 6:55:26
  the constable's strong arm was to be dreaded than the comparatively feeble one of his
• 6:55:30
  master. The arm of his tyrant grew weaker and was finally palsied, and
• 6:55:36
  then the Constable's services were in constant requisition. The fact that he was entirely
• 6:55:41
  dependent on Luke's care, and was obliged to be tended like an infant,
• 6:55:45
  instead of inspiring any gratitude or compassion towards his poor slave, seemed only to
• 6:55:49
  increase his irritability and cruelty. As he lay there on his bed, a
• 6:55:53
  mere degraded wreck of manhood, he took into his head the strangest freaks of
• 6:55:57
  despotism, and if Luke hesitated to submit to his orders, the constable was
• 6:56:02
  immediately sent for. Some of these freaks were of a nature too filthy to
• 6:56:07
  be repeated. When I fled from the house of Bondage, I left poor
• 6:56:10
  Luke still chained to the bedside of this cruel and disgusting wretch. One day,
• 6:56:15
  when I had been requested to do an errand for Missus Bruce, I
• 6:56:18
  was hurrying through back streets as usual, when I saw a young man approaching
• 6:56:22
  whose face was familiar to me. As he came nearer, I recognized Luke.
• 6:56:26
  I always rejoiced to see or hear of any one who had escaped from
• 6:56:30
  the black Pit. I was peculiarly glad to see him on northern soil,
• 6:56:33
  though I no longer called it free soil, I well remembered what a desolate
• 6:56:37
  feeling it was to be alone among strangers, and I went up to him
• 6:56:41
  and greeted him cordially. At first he did not know me, but when
• 6:56:45
  I mentioned my name, he remembered all about me. I told him of
• 6:56:48
  the Fugitive Slave Law and asked him if he did not know that New York
• 6:56:51
  was a city of kidnappers. He replied, the risk ain't so bad for
• 6:56:56
  me as tis for you, cause I run away from the speculator and you
• 6:57:00
  away from Namassa Deva. Speculators won't spender money to come here for a runaway.
• 6:57:03
  If Day ain't certain, sure to put their hands right on him.
• 6:57:07
  And I tell you, I's took good care about that. I had two
• 6:57:10
  hard times down Dar to let him catch this nigger. He then told me
• 6:57:14
  of the advice he had received and the plans he had laid. I asked
• 6:57:17
  if he had enough money to take him to Canada, pend upon it I
• 6:57:21
  have, he replied, I took care for that. I've been workin all
• 6:57:25
  my days for them cussed whites. An got no pay but kicks and cuffs.
• 6:57:30
  So I thought this nigger had a right to money enough to bring him
• 6:57:32
  to the Free States. Massa Henry. He lived till everybody'd wish him dead,
• 6:57:37
  And when he did die, I knowed a devil would have him and
• 6:57:38
  wouldn't want him to bring his money along too. So I took some of
• 6:57:41
  his bills and put him in the pocket of his old trousers. And when
• 6:57:45
  he was buried, this nigger asked for them old trousers, and Day was
• 6:57:48
  give to me with a low chuckling laugh. He added, you see I
• 6:57:52
  didn't steal it. They GiB it to me. I tell you I had
• 6:57:56
  mighty hard time to keep the speculator from findin it, but he didn't get
• 6:58:00
  it. This is a fair specimen of how the moral sense is educated by
• 6:58:06
  slavery. When a man has his wages stolen from him year after year,
• 6:58:10
  and the laws sanction and enforce the theft, how can he be expected to
• 6:58:14
  have more regard to honesty than has the man who robs him. I have
• 6:58:18
  become somewhat enlightened, but I confess that I agree with poor ignorant much abused
• 6:58:22
  Luke in thinking that he had a right to that money as a portion of
• 6:58:26
  his unpaid wages. He went to Canada forthwith, and I have not since
• 6:58:30
  heard from him. All that winter I lived in a state of anxiety.
• 6:58:36
  When I took the children out to breathe the air, I closely observed the
• 6:58:40
  countenances of all I met. I dreaded the approach of summer, when snakes
• 6:58:44
  and slaveholders make their appearance. I was, in fact a slave in New
• 6:58:48
  York, as subject to slave laws as I had been in a slave state.
• 6:58:52
  Strange incongruity in a state called free. Spring returned, and I received
• 6:58:57
  warning from the South at Doctor Flint knew of my return to my old place
• 6:59:02
  and was making preparations to have me caught. I learned afterwards that my dress
• 6:59:07
  and that of Missus Bruce's children had been described to him by some of the
• 6:59:10
  northern tools, which slaveholders employ for their base purposes and then indulge in sneers
• 6:59:15
  at their cupidity and mean servility. I immediately informed Missus Bruce of my danger,
• 6:59:19
  and she took prompt measures for my safety. My place as nurse could
• 6:59:23
  not be supplied immediately, and this generous, sympathizing lady proposed that I should
• 6:59:29
  carry her baby away. It was a comfort to me to have the child
• 6:59:32
  with me, for the heart is reluctant to be torn away from every object
• 6:59:34
  at loves. But how few mothers would have consented to have one of their
• 6:59:38
  own babes become a fugitive for the sake of a poor, hunted nurse on
• 6:59:42
  whom the legislators of the country had let loose the bloodhounds. When I spoke
• 6:59:47
  of the sacrifice she was making and depriving herself of her dear baby, she
• 6:59:51
  replied, it is better for you to have baby with you, Linda,
• 6:59:55
  for if they get on your track, they will be obliged to bring the
• 6:59:56
  child to me, and then if there is a possible ability of saving you,
• 7:00:00
  you shall be saved. This lady had a very wealthy relative, a
• 7:00:06
  benevolent gentleman in many respects, but aristocratic and pro slavery. He remonstrated with
• 7:00:11
  her for harboring a fugitive slave, told her she was violating the laws of
• 7:00:15
  her country and asked her if she was aware of the penalty. She replied,
• 7:00:18
  I am very well aware of it. It is imprisonment and one thousand
• 7:00:22
  dollars fine. Shame on my country that it is so. I am ready
• 7:00:26
  to incur the penalty. I will go to the state's prison rather than have
• 7:00:30
  any poor victim torn from my house to be carried back to slavery. The
• 7:00:36
  noble heart, the brave heart. The tears are in my eyes while I
• 7:00:40
  write of her. May the God of the helpless reward her for her sympathy
• 7:00:44
  with my persecuted people. I was sent into New England, where I was
• 7:00:48
  sheltered by the wife of a senator, whom I shall always hold in grateful
• 7:00:52
  remembrance. This honorable gentleman would not have voted for the fugitive slave law,
• 7:00:56
  as did the Senator in Uncle Tom's cabin. On the contrary, he was
• 7:01:00
  strongly opposed to it, but he was enough under its influence to be afraid
• 7:01:04
  of having me remain in his house many hours. So I was sent into
• 7:01:07
  the country, where I remained a month with the baby. When it was
• 7:01:11
  supposed that Doctor Flint's emissaries had lost track of me and given up the pursuit
• 7:01:15
  for the present, I returned to New York end of chapter forty Chapter forty
• 7:01:22
  one free at last. Missus Bruce and every member of her family were exceedingly
• 7:01:29
  kind to me. I was thankful for the blessings of my lot, yet
• 7:01:33
  I could not always wear a cheerful countenance. I was doing harm to no
• 7:01:36
  one. On the contrary, I was doing all the good I could in
• 7:01:38
  my small way. Yet I could never go out to breathe God's free air
• 7:01:42
  without trepidation. At my heart. This seemed hard, and I could not
• 7:01:47
  think it was a right state of things in any civilized country. From time
• 7:01:52
  to time I received news from my good old grandmother. She could not write,
• 7:01:56
  but she employed others to write for her. The following is an extract
• 7:02:00
  from one of her last letters, Dear daughter. I cannot hope to see
• 7:02:04
  you again on earth, but I pray to God to Unitus above, where
• 7:02:08
  pain will no more rack this feeble body of mine, where sorrow and parting
• 7:02:12
  from my children will be no more. God has promised these things if we
• 7:02:17
  are faithful. Unto the end. My age and feeble health deprive me of
• 7:02:21
  going to church now. But God is with me here at home. Thank
• 7:02:25
  your brother for his kindness. Give much love to him, and tell him
• 7:02:29
  to remember the Creator in the days of his youth, and strive to meet
• 7:02:32
  me in the Father's kingdom. Love to Ellen and Benjamin, don't neglect him.
• 7:02:37
  Tell him for me to be a good boy. Strive my child to
• 7:02:41
  train them for God's children. May He protect and provide for you. Is
• 7:02:45
  the prayer of your loving old mother. These letters both cheered and saddened me.
• 7:02:52
  I was always glad to have tidings from the kind, faithful old friend
• 7:02:55
  of my unhappy youth, but her messages of love made my heart yearn to
• 7:02:59
  see her before she died, and I mourned over the fact that it was
• 7:03:02
  impossible. Some months after I returned from my flight to New England, I
• 7:03:06
  received a letter from her in which she wrote, Doctor Flint is dead.
• 7:03:10
  He has left a distressed family, poor old man. I hope he made
• 7:03:14
  his peace with God. I remembered how he had defrauded my grandmother of the
• 7:03:18
  hard earning she had loaned, how he had tried to cheat her out of
• 7:03:22
  the freedom her mistress had promised her, and how he had persecuted her children.
• 7:03:26
  And I thought to myself that she was a better Christian than I was,
• 7:03:30
  if she could entirely forgive him. I cannot say with truth that the
• 7:03:33
  news of my old master's death soften my feelings toward him. There are wrongs
• 7:03:37
  which even the grave does not bury. The man was odious to me while
• 7:03:41
  he lived, and his memory is odious now. His departure from this world
• 7:03:47
  did not diminish my danger. He had threatened my grandmother that his heirs should
• 7:03:51
  hold me in slavery after he was gone, that I never should be free
• 7:03:55
  so long as a child of his survived. As for missus Flint, I
• 7:03:57
  had seen her in deeper afflictions than I supposed the loss of her husband would
• 7:04:02
  be, for she had buried several children. Yet I never saw any signs
• 7:04:06
  of softening in her heart. The doctor had died in embarrassed circumstances and had
• 7:04:11
  little to wilt his heirs except such property as he was unable to grasp.
• 7:04:15
  I was well aware what I had to expect from the family of Flints,
• 7:04:18
  and my fears were confirmed by a letter from the south warning me to be
• 7:04:22
  on my guard, because Missus Flint openly declared that her daughter could not afford
• 7:04:26
  to lose so valuable a slave as I was. I kept close watch of
• 7:04:32
  the newspapers for arrivals, but one Saturday night, being much occupied, I
• 7:04:37
  forgot to examine the Evening Express as usual. I went down into the parlor
• 7:04:41
  for it early in the morning and found the boy about to kindle a fire
• 7:04:44
  with it. I took it from him and examined the list of arrivals.
• 7:04:48
  Reader, if you have never been a slave, you cannot imagine the acute
• 7:04:52
  sensation of suffering at my heart when I read the names of mister and Missus
• 7:04:56
  Dodge at a hotel in Courtland Street. It was a third rate hotel,
• 7:05:00
  and that circumstance convinced me of the truth of what I had heard. That
• 7:05:04
  they were short of funds and had need of my value, as they valued
• 7:05:07
  me and that was by dollars and cents. I hastened with the paper to
• 7:05:12
  Missus Bruce. Her heart and hand were always open to every one in distress,
• 7:05:17
  and she always warmly sympathized with mine. It was impossible to tell how
• 7:05:21
  near the enemy was. He might have passed and repassed the house while we
• 7:05:23
  were sleeping. He might at that moment be waiting to pounce upon me if
• 7:05:27
  I ventured out of doors. I had never seen the husband of my young
• 7:05:30
  mistress, and therefore I could not distinguish him from any other stranger. A
• 7:05:34
  carriage was hastily ordered and closely veiled. I followed Missus Bruce, taking the
• 7:05:40
  baby again with me into exile. After various turnings and crossings and returnings,
• 7:05:45
  the carriage stopped at the house of one of Missus Bruce's friends, where I
• 7:05:48
  was kindly received. Missus Bruce returned immediately to instruct the domestics what to say
• 7:05:52
  if any one came to inquire for me. It was lucky for me that
• 7:05:56
  the evening paper was not burned up before I had a chance to exact in
• 7:06:00
  the list of arrivals. It was not long after Missus Bruce's return to her
• 7:06:03
  house before several people came to inquire for me. One inquired for me,
• 7:06:07
  another asked for my daughter Ellen, and another said he had a letter from
• 7:06:11
  my grandmother which he was requested to deliver in person. They were told she
• 7:06:15
  has lived here, but she has left how long ago? I don't know,
• 7:06:19
  sir. Do you know where she went? I do not, sir,
• 7:06:25
  And the door was closed. This mister Dodge, who claimed me as
• 7:06:29
  his property, was originally a Yankee peddler in the South. Then he became
• 7:06:33
  a merchant and finally a slave holder. He managed to get introduced into what
• 7:06:37
  was called the first society and married miss Emily Flint. A quarrel arose between
• 7:06:41
  him and her brother, and the brother cowhided him. This led to a
• 7:06:45
  family feud, and he proposed to remove to Virginia. Doctor Flint left him
• 7:06:49
  no property, and his own means had become circumscribed, while a wife and
• 7:06:53
  children depended upon him for support. Under these circumstances, it was very natural
• 7:06:57
  that he should make an effort to put me into his pocket. I had
• 7:07:02
  a colored friend, a man from my native place in whom I had the
• 7:07:04
  most implicit confidence. I sent for him and told him that mister and Missus
• 7:07:08
  Dodge had arrived in New York. I proposed that he should call upon them
• 7:07:11
  to make inquiries about his friends at the South, with whom Doctor Flint's family
• 7:07:15
  were well acquainted. He thought there was no impropriety in his doing so,
• 7:07:19
  and he consented. He went to the hotel and knocked at the door of
• 7:07:22
  mister Dodge's room, which was opened by the gentleman himself, who gruffly inquired,
• 7:07:27
  what brought you here? How came you to know I was in the
• 7:07:30
  city. Your arrival was published in the evening paper, sir, and I
• 7:07:33
  called to ask missus Dodge about my friends at home. I didn't suppose it
• 7:07:37
  would give any offense. Where's that Negro girl that belongs to my wife?
• 7:07:42
  What girl, sir, you know well enough. I mean Linda that ran
• 7:07:47
  away from doctor Flint's plantation some years ago. I dare say you've seen her
• 7:07:51
  and know where she is? Yes, Sir, I've seen her and know
• 7:07:55
  where she is. She is out of your reach, Sir. Tell me
• 7:07:57
  where she is or bring her to and I will give her a chance to
• 7:08:00
  buy her freedom. I don't think it would be of any use, sir.
• 7:08:04
  I have heard her say she would go to the ends of the earth
• 7:08:07
  rather than pay any man or woman for her freedom, because she thinks she
• 7:08:10
  has a right to it. Besides, she couldn't do it if she would,
• 7:08:14
  for she has spent her earnings to educate her children. This made mister
• 7:08:18
  Dodge very angry, and some high words passed between them. My friend was
• 7:08:22
  afraid to come where I was, but in the course of the day I
• 7:08:25
  received a note from him. I suppose they had not come from the south
• 7:08:29
  in the winter for a pleasure excursion, and now the nature of their business
• 7:08:32
  was very plain. Missus Bruce came to me and entreated me to leave the
• 7:08:36
  city the next morning. She said her house was watched and it was possible
• 7:08:40
  that some clue to me might be obtained. I refused to take her advice.
• 7:08:44
  She pleaded with an earnest tenderness that ought to have moved me. But
• 7:08:48
  I was in a bitter, disheartened mood. I was weary of flying from
• 7:08:51
  pillar to post. I had been chased during half my life, and it
• 7:08:55
  seemed as if the chase was never to end. There I sat in that
• 7:08:59
  great city, guiltless of crime, and yet not daring to worship God in
• 7:09:03
  any of the churches. I heard the bells ringing for afternoon service, and
• 7:09:07
  with contemptuous sarcasm, I said, will the preachers take for their text proclaim
• 7:09:11
  liberty to the captive and the opening of prison doors to them that are bound?
• 7:09:17
  Or will they preach from the text do unto others as you would have
• 7:09:19
  them do unto you. Oppressed Poles and Hungarians could find a safe refuge in
• 7:09:23
  that city. John Mitchell was free to proclaim in the city hall his desire
• 7:09:27
  for a plantation well stocked with slaves. But there I sat, an oppressed
• 7:09:33
  American, not daring to show my face. God forgive the black and bitter
• 7:09:37
  thoughts I indulged on that Sabbath day. The scripture says oppression makes even a
• 7:09:42
  wise man mad, and I was not wise. I had been told that
• 7:09:48
  mister Dodge and his wife had never signed away her right to my children,
• 7:09:51
  and if he could not get me, he would take them. This it
• 7:09:55
  was more than anything else that roused such a tempest in my soul. Benjamin
• 7:09:59
  was with his own uncle William, in California, but my innocent young daughter
• 7:10:03
  had come to spend a vacation with me. I thought of what I had
• 7:10:06
  suffered in slavery at her age, and my heart was like a tiger's when
• 7:10:08
  a hunter tries to seize her young Dear Missus Bruce, I seemed to see
• 7:10:14
  the expression of her face as she turned away. Discouraged by my obstinate mood,
• 7:10:18
  Finding her expostulations unavailing, she sent Ellen to entreat me. When ten
• 7:10:23
  o'clock in the evening arrived and Allan had not returned, this watchful and unwearied
• 7:10:27
  friend became anxious. She came to us in a carriage, bringing a well
• 7:10:32
  filled trunk for my journey. Trusting that by this time I would listen to
• 7:10:36
  reason. I yielded to her, as I ought to have done before.
• 7:10:40
  The Next day, Baby and I set out in a heavy snow storm,
• 7:10:44
  bound for New England. Again, I received letters from the city of Iniquity,
• 7:10:48
  addressed to me under an assumed name. In a few days, one
• 7:10:51
  came from Missus Bruce, informing me that my new master was still searching for
• 7:10:55
  me, and that she intended to put an end to this persecution by buying
• 7:10:57
  my freedom. I felt grateful for the kindness that prompted this offer, but
• 7:11:02
  the idea was not so pleasant to me as might have been expected. The
• 7:11:06
  more my mind had become enlightened, the more difficult it was for me to
• 7:11:08
  consider myself an article of property, and to pay money to those who had
• 7:11:12
  so grievously oppressed me seemed like taking from my sufferings the glory of triumph.
• 7:11:18
  I wrote to Missus Bruce, thanking her, but saying that being sold from
• 7:11:22
  one owner to another seemed too much like slavery, that such a great obligation
• 7:11:26
  could not be easily canceled, and that I preferred to go to my brother
• 7:11:29
  in California. Without my knowledge, Missus Bruce employed a gentleman in New York
• 7:11:34
  to enter into negotiations with mister Dodge. He proposed to pay three hundred dollars
• 7:11:38
  down if mister Dodge would sell me and enter into obligations to relinquish all claim
• 7:11:44
  to me or my children forever after He who called himself my master's had he
• 7:11:48
  scorned so small an offer for such a valuable servant. The gentleman replied,
• 7:11:52
  you can do as you choose, sir. If you reject this offer,
• 7:11:56
  you will never get anything. For the woman has friends who will convey her
• 7:11:59
  and her chill not of this country. Mister Dodge concluded that half a loaf
• 7:12:03
  was better than no bread, and he agreed to the proffered terms. By
• 7:12:07
  the next mail, I received this brief letter from Missus Bruce. I am
• 7:12:11
  rejoiced to tell you that the money for your freedom has been paid to mister
• 7:12:14
  Dodge. Come home tomorrow. I long to see you and my sweet babe.
• 7:12:19
  My brain reeled as I have read these lines. A gentleman near me
• 7:12:22
  said, it's true. I have seen the bill of sale, the bill
• 7:12:26
  of sale. Those words struck me like a blow. So I was sold,
• 7:12:32
  at last, a human being sold in the free city of New York.
• 7:12:36
  The bill of sale is on record, and future generations will learn from
• 7:12:40
  it that women were articles of traffic in New York late in the nineteenth century
• 7:12:42
  of the Christian religion. It may hereafter a privey useful document to antiquaries who
• 7:12:48
  are seeking to measure the progress of civilization in the United States. I well
• 7:12:52
  know the value of that bit of paper, but much as I love freedom,
• 7:12:56
  I do not like to look upon it. I am deeply grateful to
• 7:13:00
  the generous friend who procured it, but I despised the miscreant who demanded payment
• 7:13:04
  for what never rightfully belonged to him or his I had objected to having my
• 7:13:08
  freedom bought. Yet I must confess that when it was done, I felt
• 7:13:12
  as if a heavy load had been flifted from my weary shoulders. When I
• 7:13:15
  rode home in the cars, I was no longer afraid to unveil my face
• 7:13:19
  and look at people as they passed. I should have been glad to have
• 7:13:22
  met Daniel Dodge himself, to have had him see me and know me that
• 7:13:26
  he might have mourned over the untoward circumstances which compelled him to sell me for
• 7:13:32
  three hundred dollars. When I reached home, the arms of my benefactress were
• 7:13:36
  thrown round me, and our tears mingled. As soon as she could speak,
• 7:13:40
  she said, Oh, Linda, I'm so glad it's all over.
• 7:13:44
  You wrote to me as if you thought you were going to be transferred from
• 7:13:45
  one owner to another. But I did not buy you for your services.
• 7:13:49
  I should have done just the same if you had been going to sail for
• 7:13:52
  California to morrow, I should at least have the satisfaction of knowing that you
• 7:13:56
  left me a free woman. My heart was exceedingly full. I remembered how
• 7:14:02
  my poor father had tried to buy me when I was a small child,
• 7:14:04
  and how he had been disappointed. I hoped his spirit was rejoicing over me.
• 7:14:08
  Now. I remember how my good old grandmother had laid up her earnings
• 7:14:12
  to purchase me in later years, and how often her plans had been frustrated.
• 7:14:18
  How that faithful, loving old harp would leap for joy if she could
• 7:14:22
  look on me and my children now that we were free. My relatives had
• 7:14:26
  been foiled in all their efforts, but God had raised me up a friend
• 7:14:29
  among strangers, who had bestowed on me the precious long desired boon. Friend.
• 7:14:34
  It is a common word, often lightly used, Like other good and
• 7:14:38
  beautiful things. It may be tarnished by careless handling. But when I speak
• 7:14:42
  of missus Bruce as my friend, the word is sacred. My grandmother lived
• 7:14:48
  to rejoice in my freedom, but not long after a letter came with a
• 7:14:52
  black seal. She had gone where the wicked ceased from troubling and the weary
• 7:14:56
  are at rest. Time passed on, and a paper came to me from
• 7:15:02
  the South containing an obituary notice of my uncle Philip. It was the only
• 7:15:06
  case I ever knew of such an honor conferred upon a colored person. It
• 7:15:10
  was written by one of his friends and contained these words. Now that death
• 7:15:14
  has laid him low, they call him a good man and a useful citizen.
• 7:15:18
  But what are eulogies to the black man when the world has faded from
• 7:15:21
  his vision? It does not require man's praise to obtain rest in God's kingdom.
• 7:15:26
  So they called a colored man a citizen. Strange words to be uttered
• 7:15:30
  in that region. Reader, My story ends with freedom, not in the
• 7:15:36
  usual way with marriage. I and my children are now free. We are
• 7:15:41
  as free from the power of slaveholders as are the white people of the North.
• 7:15:45
  And though that, according to my ideas, is not saying a great
• 7:15:48
  deal, it is a vast improvement in my condition. The dream of my
• 7:15:52
  life is not yet realized. I do not sit with my children in a
• 7:15:56
  home of my own. I still long for a hearthstone of my own.
• 7:15:59
  However humble, I wish it for my children's sake far more than for my
• 7:16:03
  own. But God so orders circumstances as to keep me with my friend,
• 7:16:07
  Missus Bruce. Love, duty, gratitude also bind me to her side.
• 7:16:11
  It is a privilege to serve her, who pities my oppressed people, and
• 7:16:15
  who has bestowed the inestimable boon of freedom on me and my children. It
• 7:16:21
  has been painful to me in many ways to recall the dreary years I passed
• 7:16:23
  in bondage. I would gladly forget them if I could. Yet the retrospection
• 7:16:29
  is not altogether without solace, for with those gloomy recollections come tender memories of
• 7:16:34
  my good old grandmother, like light fleecy clouds floating over a dark and troubled
• 7:16:41
  sea. End of Chapter forty one, Appendix. The following statement is from
• 7:16:48
  Amy Post, a member of the Society of Friends in the state of New
• 7:16:52
  York, well known and highly respected by friends of the poor and the oppressed.
• 7:16:56
  As has been already stated in the preceding page ages, the author of
• 7:17:00
  this volume spent some time under her hospitable roof L. M. C.
• 7:17:07
  The author of this book is my highly esteemed friend. If its readers knew
• 7:17:10
  her as I know her, they could not fail to be deeply interested in
• 7:17:14
  her story. She was a beloved inmate of our family nearly the whole of
• 7:17:18
  the year eighteen forty nine. She was introduced to us by her affectionate and
• 7:17:21
  conscientious brother, who had previously related to us some of the almost incredible events
• 7:17:26
  in his sister's life. I immediately became much interested in Linda, for her
• 7:17:30
  appearance was prepossessing, and her deportment indicated remarkable delicacy of feeling and purity of
• 7:17:36
  thought. As we became acquainted, she related to me from time to time
• 7:17:40
  some of the instants and her bitter experiences as a slave woman. Though impelled
• 7:17:44
  by a natural craving for human sympathy, she passed through a baptism of suffering,
• 7:17:48
  even in recounting her trials to me in private confidential conversations. The burden
• 7:17:53
  of these memories lay heavily upon her spirit, naturally virtuous and refined. I
• 7:17:59
  repeatedly or urged her to consent to the publication of her narrative, for I
• 7:18:03
  felt that it would aroused people to a more earnest work for the disenthrallment of
• 7:18:06
  millions still remaining in that soul crushing condition which was so unendurable to her.
• 7:18:11
  But her sensitive spirit shrank from publicity. She said, you know, a
• 7:18:17
  woman can whisper her cruel wrongs in the ear of a dear friend, much
• 7:18:19
  easier than she can record them for the world to read. Even in talking
• 7:18:23
  with me, she wept so much and seemed to suffer such mental agony that
• 7:18:27
  I felt her story was too sacred to be drawn from her by inquisitive questions,
• 7:18:32
  and I left her free to tell as much or as little as she
• 7:18:34
  chose. Still, I urged upon her the duty of publishing her experience for
• 7:18:38
  the sake of the good it might do. And at last she undertook the
• 7:18:42
  task. Having been a slave so large a portion of her life, she
• 7:18:47
  is unlearned. She is obliged to earn her living by her own labor,
• 7:18:51
  and she has worked untiringly to procure education for her children. Several times she
• 7:18:56
  has been obliged to leave her employments in order to fly from the man hunters
• 7:18:59
  in woman hunters of our land. But she pressed through all these obstacles and
• 7:19:03
  overcame them. After the labors of the day were over, she traced secretly
• 7:19:07
  and wearily by the midnight lamp, a truthful record of her eventful life.
• 7:19:11
  This empire stayed as a shabby place of refuge for the oppressed, but here,
• 7:19:18
  through anxiety, turmoil, and despair, the freedom of Linda and her
• 7:19:21
  children was finally secured by the exertions of a generous friend. She was grateful
• 7:19:26
  for the boon, but the idea of having been bought was always galling to
• 7:19:30
  a spirit that could never acknowledge itself to be a chattel. She wrote to
• 7:19:33
  us thus, soon after the event, I thank you for your kind expressions
• 7:19:37
  in regard to my freedom. But the freedom I had before the money was
• 7:19:41
  paid, was dearer to me. God gave me that freedom, but man
• 7:19:45
  put God's image in the scales with the paltry sum of three hundred dollars.
• 7:19:48
  I served for my liberty as faithfully as Jacob served for Rachel. At the
• 7:19:53
  end, he had large possessions, but I was robbed of my victory.
• 7:19:57
  I was obliged to resign my crown to rid myself of a tyrant. Her
• 7:20:02
  story, as written by herself, cannot fail to interest the reader. It
• 7:20:07
  is a sad illustration of the condition of this country, which boasts of its
• 7:20:11
  civilization, while it sanctions laws and customs which make the experiences of the present
• 7:20:15
  more strange than any fictions of the past. Amy Post, Rochester, New
• 7:20:21
  York, October thirtieth eighteen fifty nine. The following testimonial is from a man
• 7:20:26
  who is now a highly respectable colored citizen of Boston, L. M.
• 7:20:30
  C. This narrative contains some incidents so extraordinary that doubtless many persons under whose
• 7:20:37
  eyes it may chance to fall will be ready to believe that it is colored
• 7:20:41
  highly to serve a special purpose. But however it may be regarded by the
• 7:20:45
  incredulous, I know that it is full of living truths. I have been
• 7:20:49
  well acquainted with the author from my boyhood. The circumstances recounted in her history
• 7:20:53
  are perfectly familiar to me. I knew of her treatment from her master,
• 7:20:57
  of the imprisonment of her children, of their sale and redemption, of her
• 7:21:02
  seven years concealment, and of her subsequent escape to the North. I am
• 7:21:07
  now a resident of Boston, and am a living witness to the truth of
• 7:21:10
  this interesting narrative. George W. Lowther end of Appendix, and of incidents
• 7:21:18
  in the life of a slave girl.