Latest / AI for Founders with Ryan Estes / Neuro Spiritual Sovereignty - 10 Years and Zero Shortcuts

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Neuro Spiritual Sovereignty - 10 Years and Zero Shortcuts · AI for Founders with Ryan Estes

0:00
What if your trauma isn't your weakness, it's your operating
0:03
system? What if the habits you hate are
0:05
actually architecture you built to survive?
0:07
And what if the real problem isn't in your business, it's the
0:10
voice in your head running it? Most founders don't fail because
0:14
of bad ideas, they fail because they secretly hate themselves.
0:17
That tension? It leaks everywhere.
0:19
Into your hiring, your product, your relationships, your bank
0:22
account. Now imagine this.
0:24
Instead of chasing growth hacks, you reprogram the source.
0:28
A founder who rewrites their inner dialogue daily literally
0:31
rewires their brain. Systematic self reconstruction.
0:34
You can go from chaos, addiction and debt to building mind
0:38
hygiene. Not fixing emotions, not
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suppressing them, accepting them, writing them, rewriting
0:43
them daily. Because the real leverage is in
0:45
capital. It's control over your internal
0:47
state when everything is on fire.
0:49
So if your business is a reflection of your mind, is your
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mind in a position to scale? Welcome to AI for founders, I'm
0:55
Ryan Estes. This is for founders who want to
0:58
build companies without destroying themselves in the
1:00
process. And anyone curious how emotional
1:02
mastery becomes a competitive advantage in the age of AI?
1:06
Go to aiforfounders.co and plug into the signal and sharpen how
1:10
you think. It's not just what you build.
1:12
And if this hits you, leave a review like you're leaving a
1:14
note to your past self before everything broke.
1:21
Thank you so much for joining me for the podcast.
1:23
Welcome to the show. Thanks, Ryan.
1:27
Yeah, absolutely. Now, we've spoken a couple of
1:30
times before. You're a Denver guy, I'm a
1:31
Denver guy. We're sure we're we're soon to
1:34
to rub shoulders. I think sooner or later.
1:37
And what why I'm so excited to have you on the show largely is
1:41
because, you know, maybe a characteristic of the guests on
1:45
this show is the a common thread perhaps is that they're
1:49
visionaries. You know, they're licking into
1:52
the future, they're attracting or they're attaching some kind
1:55
of like invisible tractor beam to the vision of the future and
1:59
they pull themselves into it. And often times, like what
2:03
happens with visionaries is they will overlook the past because
2:07
sometimes the past can be troubling and it can be full of
2:11
doubts. The future is always shiny, put
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it that way. And what, what strikes me so
2:16
much about your story is how you've harmonized A challenging
2:21
past, you know, and you've created a very big vision for
2:26
yourself in the future. So what I'd like to do is just
2:29
kind of maybe start from the beginning of the story now to
2:32
bring people up to speed. Dhruv is a medical doctor also,
2:36
he's not a public speaker but rather a consecrated self belief
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philanthropist who speaks, which I'd love that you've developed a
2:44
process called mind hygiene that might have contributed to your
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ability to kind of harmonize the past and then reach for this
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future. So maybe begin.
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What's a good entry point to your story, Dhruva?
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Imagine a Saturday morning in Juneau, AK.
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It's the, IT just, you just moved there as an immigrant with
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the boom in Alaska, the Alaska pipeline had in the state of
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Alaska, money was just flowing. You're waking up on a Saturday
3:16
morning, getting dressed, going to downtown Juneau, thinking
3:19
that you're going to just get that next loan.
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And I'm just going to pay back the next loan.
3:25
And then hopefully I'll be able to make that money and then
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we'll be safe. And then my mom is waking up
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thinking with her hands on her chest, her shoulders, looking up
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at the popcorn ceiling. Am I going to be yelled at
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today? Is the are the Juno police going
3:39
to be at home? Am I going to wind up in a
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domestic violence shelter today? My brother is in his room
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playing his violin incessantly, having a tough time being made
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fun of at school, that he's gay and he just cannot accept it.
3:53
And then there I am, Who's this kid who's taking all of this
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hatred in, this resentment and these the different authorities
4:00
that are coming to our home on a consistent basis.
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What people call trauma, I've just turned into architecture.
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And as you can see here, it's where we're talking about
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harmonizing all of these details of me being abused physically,
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me being said, I'm stupid, my mom is stupid, my brother is
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stupid, we're all dumb. My dad having a prototypical
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narcissistic personality disorder which needs to be
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differentiated from narcissistic traits narcissistic traits
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typically will have insight into it.
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Oh, I do blame other people. Oh, I play victim.
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Oh, I'm condescending. Oh, I say I hate that those are
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narcissistic traits there. And there could be some other
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specifics to it that may you may want to consult a psychiatrist
4:45
about, but not narcissistic personality disorder is
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pervasive. It's constant and it's this
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excessive need for admiration. You're better grandiose
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thoughts. Everybody's wrong.
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You're victimizing and you kind of just don't know it.
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And that's the environment I grew up in and my mom was
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schizophrenic, was institutionalized for 27 years.
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My brother would go on later to be found dead from alcohol and
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drugs. I would be in juvenile detention
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several years later three times and then my family rescued me to
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go to India. And then I wound up getting 7
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scholarships in the medical school.
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Now you would think this guy got beat.
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He was emotionally disturbed. His mom is in in a psychiatric
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facility at the moment. His brother is off somewhere
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doing drugs trying to figure himself out.
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And this guy get 7 scholarships in the medical school.
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Well, here's what happens to a young guy in India who's Indian
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American. I get exiled to India, if you
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want to say that. But I think that I, India saved
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me. What happens here is that now
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you develop overconfidence. Now you develop that abrasive,
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that intrusive, that dismissive tone, that low self esteem, that
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low confidence and self hatred. Oh, I went to jail.
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I'm a doctor. But really, you hate yourself.
5:59
And then it begins. The self hatred is pervasive.
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The narcissistic traits flow easily.
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People admire you and you take that admiration in and you you
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start drowning yourself with quick dopamine hits because that
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cortisol is constantly high. The amygdala is constantly
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hijacked. You have that neurobiology
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resentment. Let me drink, let me drug, let
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me eat bad. I gained 60 lbs.
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I'm actually 220 lbs was my heaviest.
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That was my I'm I'm at I'm at 149 lbs today.
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And and I mean, I had lost up down, it was up and down.
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The interesting part is the the pictures and videos I have of
6:39
all of these things. And, and then, and then slowly
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what happens is that I start doing that.
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You know, a lot of things happen in between all of that.
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Then because of this resentment implicit mind, I hate myself.
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I'm stupid, I'm dumb. But I'm still good though.
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I got to be strong. Let me control everything.
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It'll be fine. Don't worry about it.
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Bro. You got this dog.
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Just smoke up a little bit. You know you'll you'll be fine.
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Let's go grab a drink. Forget those guys.
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Another. They don't need you.
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This was the problem and that's when November 10th of 2015
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around that time, there's a selfie of me in Seattle.
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So that's what I remember is when I said, look, I got to
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figure out a way to emotionally depend on myself.
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My ex-wife left me. I'm nearly I'm broke, but I
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pretend I have money. I'm I'm I'm going to be in
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$300,000 gambling debt here in in the next couple years.
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I kind of know that, but I don't. 100K in credit card debt
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and I Fast forward a few years later, I'm in a cocaine in manic
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episode and then I'm going to lose everything.
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But what happens is that from your childhood, you didn't
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accept it. You tried to control it.
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You bought into societies. You got to be strong stuff.
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Let's be positive though. But what about when you're
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negative? Don't worry about it.
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You know, you buy into all of that and then you have this and
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then you try to quiet all of this neurobiology down with
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dopamine and those substances lead to you having a rock
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bottom. And I was out of work for almost
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a year. And then slowly I start writing,
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rapping, going to therapy, paying for coaches.
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And then I realized that I'm developing this emotional
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scaffolding and depending on myself, what I now call neuro
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spiritual sovereignty, You're going from the fixed mindset to
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the acceptance mindset to the consecrated mindset.
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Look, I surrender. I'm never going to want to do,
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but whatever it is I need to do to emotionally depend on myself
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and believe in myself, I'm just going to do it anyway.
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And I'm just going to keep on doing that.
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Integrate that into the basal ganglia, which is the habit
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center. You have a habit.
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Let's say for example, I didn't want to snort a line of Coke.
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I I didn't want to eat a row of Oreos.
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I didn't want to go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes and
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then buy some chips. I just did it anyway.
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I knew it wasn't good for me. I just did it anyway.
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So now I'm going to quit sugar. I'm going to go to the gym and
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write things down. I don't want to do it.
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I'll just do it anyway. You know, that's the
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consecration mindset. And you just keep doing it.
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And David Goggins speaks to this a lot.
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And that's where I came up with some of these things, mind
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hygiene, where you develop that, that you write it down and then
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you go from that resentment, implicit bias.
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Oh man, they did that to the empathic implicit mind.
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Oh, I've forgiven myself for everything that I've done to
9:26
somebody else. And that's kind of where the
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journey really begins to experiencing that neuro
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spiritual sovereignty, which is that the last part that I'll
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leave you with with this is the neurobiology, the cortisol, the
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dopamine, oxytocin, epinephrine, oh man, fight or flight, adrenal
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excess. And that catecholamine excess
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can be quieted by engaging your prefrontal cortex in writing
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over and over and over again. But you're like, that's hard.
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But you know what? Is it hard to have life suck?
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Or would you rather use evidence based techniques where you don't
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need me, a doctor, a therapist, a coach, a medication, a
10:03
community, a partner to believe in yourself.
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You can do it by yourself. You don't need me.
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You definitely don't need my process.
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I'm just the prototype of self hate to self love.
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How'd this guy do it? What did he amazing, amazing.
10:17
Now, you know, thank you for sharing that.
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You know, one, it takes a lot of bravery to kind of exorcise
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these demons, you know, from the past.
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So I really appreciate you talking because I I know it's
10:28
going to resonate with a lot of our folks.
10:30
And you know, everybody, you know, probably has somebody with
10:33
a narcissistic personality disorder near them and it's very
10:37
challenging. And I think it's also important
10:39
to differentiate like you did, you know, there's narcissistic
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traits that let's be honest, we all have that we're all working
10:46
with that. But there's like true classic
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pathology that like it's very challenging.
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And sometimes I think it is helpful thinking about thinking
10:53
about it like a demon, because it seems like these are the kind
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of things that are passed quietly generationally as like a
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ghost through all the generations, you know, And it's,
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I am curious like how you ended up in Juneau.
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You know, I'm not very well travelled, but I have been to
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Juneau and it's, it's a lovely little town.
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I mean, it's like a port town, you know, it's kind of the, the
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basis of the ferry system on the whole upper N northwest there.
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How did you guys end up there? Yeah, well, let's track back to
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the 1800s and maybe I can use some facts here.
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At that time, the British ruled India.
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There's no way around it. And what happens is that my
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great grandfather is coming home with that low self esteem, that
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low confidence, that self hatred, being dominated by
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somebody and then they dominate them.
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They develop narcissistic traits and then my great grandfather
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also is just living off of, I don't know, religious things,
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religious money, bribery, something to that effect.
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And my dad is sitting there in the veranda watching a reading a
11:58
Time magazine. And on the eighth page they got
12:00
this good looking guy and then they're writing these words down
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in English. He goes to a movie theater and
12:06
he sees Amitabh Bachchan, who is an actor in India, speaking
12:10
well, dressed well, Then another actor in America dressing well,
12:14
talking well. He's like, that's where I'm
12:16
going to go. So he comes to the University of
12:19
Utah after getting after ranking first and 2nd and 3rd and 4th
12:24
year in his engineering and civil engineering, and he says,
12:28
I came to the University of Utah with $5 and one pair of Chapel.
12:35
So you just had a pair of sandals and $5 apparently.
12:38
But that story was consistent. So he's very believable too.
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Very well spoken, very eloquent, eloquent.
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His English has that neutral accent.
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It's not American, but it's very neutral.
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Like Amitabh Bachchan, the actor.
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In any event, after that, he must have figured it out.
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The Alaska pipeline. He I'm just using like a phone.
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He must have called somebody, figured it out.
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Very resourceful just lived on loans and just repaying loans
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his whole life and finds out that you can get loans in Juneau
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because of the Alaska pipeline and then the boom.
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I just actually you know what I just came back from Juno 2 days
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ago I was there doing soul searching one of the most
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difficult trips, immersion therapy events of my entire life
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and you're right he goes to Juno.
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I'm imagining my dad getting out of the airplane mountains coming
13:26
from the water, that fog, that cinematic appearance and then
13:30
the muted light, but still creates this cinema and then the
13:35
water there the almost the fears next door you have at the
13:38
Mendenhall Glacier. But you're thinking, how can I
13:42
get this loan and how can I cut the generational curse of money?
13:47
And and how let me just and then my own protective mechanism is
13:52
being a narcissist. But he doesn't know that he's
13:54
not drinking, he doesn't smoke, he doesn't drug, he doesn't care
13:58
about food. He wants to dominate.
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And that's why he came to Juno. And after my parents divorced,
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my mom divorced my dad at 7. We had a full household full of
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people that we're all broke. We're living off of food stamps.
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My mom was working a couple of jobs, one for the state of
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Alaska, and then we move to Seattle at 7.
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And that's kind of how that happened.
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And my dad was broke for the rest of our lives.
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He was just borrowing money, didn't want a job.
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He did work at Boeing for three years.
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I think out of his entire life, his entire existence, he worked
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for three years at a full time job.
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Other than that, he was living off of loans and then filing for
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bankruptcy twice. So you need to get that
14:37
financial trauma if you want to call it that. 100%, you know,
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And I would love to hear about your recent trip back to Juneau,
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too. I know it in the takeaways from
14:48
me is, you know, it is staggeringly beautiful in
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nature. There's eagles and there's
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Ravens and there's wolves and there's moose and there's bears
14:58
everywhere. Like when I was there, I was
15:00
afraid of the bears largely. And also, you know, during that
15:05
the, the pipeline days, you know, when I was tooling around
15:08
Alaska, I met a lot of boomers, you know, that were there during
15:11
the glory days. And it was an absolute gold
15:13
rush. And the, the, the funny quote, I
15:16
remember I was talking to a guy, Tim, he's like, Oh yeah,
15:19
pipeline days. Everyone got a divorce and
15:22
everyone got audited by the IRS because the money and, you know,
15:28
the party and that there was like just kind of like a Wild
15:31
West atmosphere, you know, So to be kind of swooped up on that,
15:35
it must have been interesting. So tell me a little bit about
15:38
your last experience with Juno, kind of what drove you there and
15:41
what some of the takeaways were for you while you were there.
15:44
Yeah, I didn't really know what I'm completing a book, Emotional
15:49
Freedom that I'm releasing on my mom's birthday, April 21st, or
15:53
I'm not trying to plug that in, but I was thinking to myself,
15:55
maybe I should go to Juneau and just see what was cooking there
15:59
because I was only there until the age of eight.
16:02
I mean, imagine you, my mom. I, I just, I, I, I went to
16:06
downtown Juneau. I imagine my mom walking out of
16:09
the Alaska State Capitol building on a Friday evening at
16:12
5:00, muted light fog everywhere, but not able to
16:16
appreciate that just that the mountains just sprawling from
16:19
the water. You know what?
16:20
I'm, I only noticed that now being completely emotionally
16:23
sober and not eating inflammatory food, of course,
16:27
not drinking. I don't do any of that stuff.
16:29
And you know, you're able to take it all in, but you're not
16:32
able to take that in because your ex-husband is about to come
16:35
take your paycheck right when you get paid and go to the bank
16:38
and take the money. I'm, I imagine that.
16:41
And then I went to my old home. I actually snowboarded there
16:44
though, too. The pictures are so cool.
16:46
Oh my goodness. The, the, the trees that just
16:49
that the way they're standing relentlessly and fearlessly
16:53
without apology and the lichen coming off of it.
16:56
And then the bark looks so dense and the Moss is coming off of
17:02
the wow, just coming off of the I've never seen that even in the
17:06
Pacific Northwest. And as I'm as I complete
17:10
snowboarding, I go to my old home where my mom, my dad, my
17:14
brother were all there. And I'm walking up the street
17:17
there eerie feeling. OK, It just feels, but that I
17:19
look over there, I'm like, wait a second, look at that gangster
17:22
looking mountain like, or did I not know that?
17:25
Did I not know that was right there When I walk out of my
17:27
home, then there's two people that are walking up and this is
17:31
a little bit embarrassing for for me, but I didn't know it was
17:34
going to happen. And I and I, and they asked me,
17:36
hi, they're like, how are you? And I said, good.
17:39
I was like, do you guys live here?
17:40
And they said, yeah. And I pointed right there.
17:42
I said, I used to live there. My whole family was there.
17:45
Now they passed away. And then I just started bawling.
17:49
But I didn't think. And I was crying earlier that
17:51
day too, because everybody was together at that point.
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They were all together even though my dad was abusive, my
20:15
mom was mentally ill, my brother was distant, and I was still
20:19
running around free. I'm a kid, what do I care about
20:22
some of these things? I'm just taking it all in.
20:24
I thought it was normal to be abused when I was young, so I'm
20:28
taking all of the stuff in. But I snowboarded first.
20:30
What I like to say I got high first, you know, before I went
20:34
there and I and actually I even I, I thought about this, but I
20:39
actually asked AI also and they were like, yeah, go there first.
20:42
Go snowboarding first before you go I.
20:45
Actually get a wind under your belt.
20:49
So then, then after that, I'm there and I'm just crying.
20:51
I'm just like, wow, the emotions are very real, but I'm not there
20:56
judging whether the situation was good or bad.
21:00
I'm not trying to understand them.
21:02
I'm not trying to forgive them. I'm just there.
21:06
But that's the immersion therapy that I hope that I can inspire
21:09
somebody else with. And this comes with intense
21:11
writing over several years. I mean, I would say that I've,
21:14
I've been at this monastic emotional solitude for almost
21:18
nearly 10 years now. Well, maybe November 2015 coming
21:22
on 11. Now eight years of that, I've
21:25
been intentionally single. So I've had a lot of time to
21:27
process all of this and going there and just seeing it all
21:32
just wow, these guys were working through so much at one
21:36
point. You know, they were just going
21:38
through so much. And this is what shapes
21:40
individuals unless you can immerse yourself into them and
21:44
imagine what they're experiencing.
21:45
My dad downtown bearing off trying to get alone, my mom
21:49
waking up, going to her second job, the pioneer home in Juno,
21:53
my brother playing the violin. What are they experiencing?
21:56
And I immersed myself into this and wrote myself into this too
22:00
in Juno just to, I mean I I might as well just get it over
22:04
with before something happens later is the way I do it.
22:07
Yeah, incredible. You know, and going back there
22:10
and taking it full circle is, is, again, very brave.
22:13
You know, what happened to you as a kid, like you're talking
22:15
about kids don't really know how it's supposed to be.
22:18
Rather they're just taking it all in.
22:20
And it sounded like, you know, from your experience, you took
22:22
it all in and really compressed it tight.
22:26
So when you got that release and you go to India, you have an
22:29
nuclear explosion that comes out in positive ways, you know,
22:34
being the top of your class, getting, you know, opportunities
22:38
for college, going to college, becoming a doctor, getting
22:41
married, all these positive things.
22:43
But then also like very manic, self-destructive things,
22:46
addictions and broken relationships and things like
22:49
that. It seems like all that
22:50
compression was coming out at you all at once.
22:53
And you know it, it seems like I I'd love to know if there was
22:56
kind of a single moment of clarity within all that, like
22:59
what began kind of the transformation.
23:01
And and also, you know, a lot of folks will will cling on to like
23:05
an architecture, whether it's religion or it's maybe some kind
23:09
of a self help guru. What was it about you that made
23:13
you kind of really do the investigation yourself and go
23:16
inside and find some of your own answers and own tactics to kind
23:20
of pull yourself out? Yeah.
23:23
And you know, this is very interesting.
23:24
It's all all it had. This is where you don't need me.
23:27
The way I like to say it affectionately and with
23:30
inspiration, is that if you can write now, I I was rapping.
23:34
Yeah, I'm trying to rap like these guys, Bone Thugs and
23:38
Harmony got to get on the grind. Popping the clip of my nine.
23:41
I'm like, OK, how do raindrops drop?
23:43
Dog? Put it in the hot box.
23:45
You know, what do I do? Wait a second, wait a second.
23:48
I'm trying to. But why am I rapping about low
23:50
self esteem and low confidence? I'm not rapping about me smoking
23:53
up. I don't want anybody to know I'm
23:56
not rapping about me doing blow. I'm rapping about me with low
24:00
self esteem. Wait a second, who is this
24:03
writing this? You know Tupac would say I feel
24:05
his hand on my brain when I write rhymes.
24:08
I go blind and let the Lord do his thing.
24:10
And that's when I just submitted to God and I'm like, all right,
24:14
fine, let's just keep on writing.
24:15
And then there was one thing that I wrote one time where low
24:19
self esteem and low confidence was my genetic makeup.
24:22
I had to accept it in order for me to wake up.
24:24
And I'm like, OK, wait a second, there's something really
24:27
happening here. Let's try to write that a few
24:28
more times and see what happens, you know?
24:31
And that's when it really started beginning.
24:34
I was still cursing at the time a little bit, but then I stopped
24:37
slowly. I don't curse anymore.
24:39
Is that definitely sometimes for effect here and there if I'm
24:42
rapping an old song, but otherwise I'm I, I don't curse
24:47
in any of my rap tracks anymore. And those are some of the things
24:52
that led to me understanding and I, my rap name is Sublime Shine.
24:55
You have low self esteem, you hate yourself.
24:57
Let's treat that with sublimation, meaning you already
25:00
think it's normal. Let's just normalize it and then
25:03
shine on it. Sublime Shine and then you
25:05
sublimate that thought. But the exciting part about this
25:08
mind hygiene business is that there's nothing to do.
25:11
I don't need to go accomplish something.
25:13
I don't need people to like me. I do want to keep my job.
25:16
I want, I don't want patients to complain, but I don't need
25:19
anything to really happen. And that's when you start
25:22
accepting and embracing and showing yourself compassion by
25:25
doing things you don't want to, to forge your health by writing.
25:29
So it was the wrapping that really got me to where I am
25:33
today. Interesting.
25:35
Well, and it sounds like there was like there's a voice, you
25:38
know, that came out in rapping that needed to be confessional.
25:42
It needed to find a place to like have a space for it to
25:46
exist. You know, is that a product of
25:50
maybe all the success that you've had and, and all these
25:53
other arenas where you're like, there was something in you that
25:56
needed to, to feel seen? It was my mom's life of her
26:00
suffering. And you know, the number one
26:02
achievement that I ever have was taking her out of that
26:04
psychiatric facility in Creedmoor Hospital in Queens,
26:08
NY. The day after I graduated
26:10
residency. I planned it out and I bought a
26:12
home for us and that's when it really began.
26:14
And I cried for almost 1 full year in that vision room and I
26:18
had these vision boards there. And then I would start writing
26:20
and rapping and I said, I think I got to make use of her life.
26:23
You have to understand here that you got to have some type of a
26:26
higher mission vision purpose. It's just not going to work if I
26:29
was to do it for myself. But I didn't want to hate
26:32
myself. That was the next thing.
26:33
I wanted to know what it means to love myself.
26:36
And I realized that I probably had to do this journey alone.
26:39
So those were the two. And the third thing is I wanted
26:42
to keep my jobs. I didn't want to have patients
26:44
complaining about me. See, I never said anything bad
26:47
about patients, but why would they complain?
26:49
I realized it's because I hated myself.
26:51
They can experience that frequency.
26:53
But when I accepted myself, I understood myself and I wrote it
26:57
down and I forgave myself and I was able to rely on myself.
27:01
And I was believing in myself, not confident.
27:03
I was believing in myself and my limitations.
27:06
Feeling good about 50 to 60% of the day.
27:10
Then my patient scores just started skyrocketing.
27:13
And then I realized I think I got something here.
27:16
Yeah. So those are some of the.
27:17
And the journey was long. Dan Martel, one of my heroes and
27:21
coaches mentors would always say the the the runway is long, but
27:26
the take off is quick. The runway was about 8 to 10
27:29
years, but my patients score sky rocketed right away and they
27:32
just kept on going up. So I realized that I'm doing the
27:35
right thing or the neuro spiritual frequency is what I
27:39
call it, the neuro spiritual sovereign frequency.
27:42
Yeah, I love it. I want to get into that.
27:44
But you know, one, one thing, it kind of this, this pivot point
27:49
here, you know, I, I, I think one of the characteristics of
27:52
narcissistic personality attributes that, that people go
27:57
through. And I, I think it's the kind of
27:59
normal, you know, because as kids, what of course we're going
28:01
to be concerned about ourself. And I think what what happens is
28:06
you'll start to look at the world like, why is this
28:08
happening to me? Why is that happening to me?
28:10
If everything feels reactionary, like the world should bow.
28:13
And then at some point you you take kind of extreme
28:17
responsibility and accountability of like, OK, all
28:20
of these things have happened to me.
28:22
You know, some of it wasn't my fault, but also where am I
28:25
accountable and how do I show up?
28:27
And what it sounds like with you, what really kind of spawned
28:31
a lot of this is like some pretty intense rigor and
28:35
discipline, you know, So I would love to hear a little bit about
28:38
that. And maybe kind of going into,
28:40
you know, mind hygiene and these other products.
28:42
Because like you're saying the the runway is long, which is to
28:45
kind of say like, hey, man, you know, you want to get things
28:47
right with your, your mind. You got to get stuff right
28:50
spiritually, you got to get stuff right physically.
28:52
You got to get your diet correct.
28:53
You got to clean up your ACT. It's how, you know, my
28:56
grandfather would say it. Talk about that a little bit.
29:00
Yeah, what you're calling is structural density, where when
29:03
you look in this drawer, it's as clean as the fridge and it's as
29:07
clean as your mind and your body.
29:09
That's what I like to call structural density, where you're
29:12
just not confused about anything.
29:14
You're just not worried because your and then your Google Docs
29:16
are stray. Your all your files are labeled.
29:18
You only have one tab open at a time.
29:21
You know when you can operate with that.
29:22
You just don't need any anybody. You know that.
29:26
So that's just one high level thought of this.
29:28
But I'm standing in Alabama looking outside, warm weather.
29:34
I'm thinking to myself, am I just that stupid doctor forever?
29:39
Am I just going to be put down for the rest of my life?
29:43
Am I going to always have bad patient scores?
29:45
Am I going to lose my job as I'm in a full blown cocaine induced
29:50
manic episode and I'm going into a dual diagnosis rehab center.
29:54
And where was it Warrior AL and I was there for three months.
30:00
They were going to graduate me in 11 weeks, but they said no,
30:03
you got to stay one more week. And you know, there you got a
30:06
lot of people, correct, doctors, you got engineers, you got
30:10
pilots, people who apparently, you know, you guys can
30:14
communicate together, higher degrees, that type of thing.
30:17
And it just kind of felt normal at that moment.
30:19
I just felt I was just stupid amongst everybody else, although
30:23
I didn't think that they were stupid.
30:24
I was just saying I'm stupid, I'm messed up, Everybody must be
30:28
too. At least I'm not alone.
30:30
And there are doctors that were there who were in their 50s who
30:32
had a couple Duis or something, you know, stuff like that.
30:36
So at least I was able to normalize this business.
30:40
And then I thought to myself, look, I cannot focus on anybody
30:43
else. I got to write my way out of
30:45
this. This is the only way I can do
30:46
it. Let's go to therapy.
30:48
Let's get some coaches. Let's figure out a way to write
30:50
our way out of this. Because I understood that I can,
30:54
at that moment, I was still in the process of, of developing
30:56
self love. I would say if you, if somebody
30:59
wants to go from self hate to self love and you want to do it
31:04
integrated into society, it may take about 5 to 7 years, but you
31:08
might be able to expedite that in a couple of years.
31:10
If you're completely emotionally alone, I think you can probably
31:14
expedite that process. But in, in this case, I might
31:17
have been about three years. Even though I was doing drugs
31:20
and and alcohol, I was still writing about all of this and I
31:23
knew I had to figure it out and I knew I could only focus on
31:27
myself. No doctors, no patients, no
31:29
medical field, no dad, no mom, nobody, nobody.
31:33
I'm isolated in the middle of the ocean.
31:36
I got to figure out how to get back to shore.
31:38
And I I thought that writing, going to therapy was the only
31:41
way out. And that's where the mind
31:43
hygiene developed, where I just realized I can depend on myself.
31:47
Maybe for your viewers, you know, you can see here these are
31:50
push ups deal where I'm constantly doing writing still
31:54
and this is just just to keep it, just keep it going, you
31:57
know, Yeah, this is just to make sure that I'm a flow and the and
32:02
these I write probably sometimes twice a day, but usually about
32:07
five times a week. And and I have dry erase board.
32:10
I have a big diesel pad there now I'm constantly writing and
32:17
you know, mind hygiene is you just accept it, not fix it,
32:20
embrace it, not control it. Whatever event is there, you
32:22
figure out a way to forgive yourself.
32:24
You have that empathy. You don't have things renting
32:27
space in your head. You're not worried about anybody
32:29
else. And then you can reach that
32:33
those heights. You can you know what I call
32:35
type 1 civilization of the mind. You know where you're you have
32:38
structural density all around. Yeah, let's, I'd love to take a
32:42
deeper dive into exactly what you do when you're writing.
32:45
Are you still writing raps? Is that part of it?
32:49
Yeah, you know, and I recently wrote and I have a bunch of rap
32:51
stuff coming out. There's one rap that I read.
32:54
So the rap has evolved now. Now I practice identity alchemy
32:59
like a daily prescription, turning on my past confusion
33:01
into sovereign intuition. My oxytocin rises from self
33:04
connection while my cortisol drops with introspection.
33:07
People blow me off. Cool.
33:08
That's fine. But the nervous is the main
33:10
consecrated like mine. Some are second limbic bribes,
33:12
other searching for signs. But the dopamine devotion keeps
33:14
me aligned. You know ours.
33:17
Yeah. What do you think about this?
33:18
So the dopamine devotion is one of my favorites where if I like
33:21
it, I'll delay it for as long as I can.
33:23
But I'm not going to say no. I don't know what.
33:26
I don't know what that looks like anymore.
33:28
So that's writing. That's one part of the writing
33:31
is the raps. So I'm constantly writing raps.
33:34
Usually I'm writing the ACES framework, which is you have an
33:37
event, accept your awareness around it.
33:40
Be compassionate by doing something you don't want to
33:43
empathize. Understand that you may need to
33:45
alchemize this meaning, turn it into purpose, and then soften
33:49
the process. Don't make it seem like it's
33:51
hard. So that's what the, the, the
33:53
core gist of it is, is ACE is your life instead of faces, your
33:57
life, which is fixing your emotions.
33:59
A's anger, if you overcome C is controlling your mind.
34:02
I do not believe in this emotional regulation business.
34:06
I, I, I don't know about that. But if, if it works for
34:08
somebody, don't listen to me, you know, and then and then,
34:11
but, but blocking things out, not my style.
34:14
Being strong and positive and negative is not my style.
34:17
So I, I just don't do that. And that allows me to just focus
34:21
on myself. And as long as I'm doing it one
34:24
second at a time, I'm not unhappy, you know?
34:28
And then usually it'll extend probably to about 10 minutes,
34:31
sometimes 30, sometimes 90, depending on how I feel.
34:36
But I'm constant. If I have some problem, I'm
34:38
like, man, do I got to go right now.
34:40
All right, fine, let's just get it over with.
34:42
Yeah, talk about why actually writing it, because when you
34:46
held it up for the folks who listen to the podcast, it's it's
34:48
written. It's not.
34:49
It's not like a Notion document like you're.
34:52
It's pen, pen to paper. Yeah, the there is a mind
34:56
hygiene study that was conducted for four years, a non IRB
35:00
retrospective observational study on over 4000 patients
35:04
where they did one to 92nd writing reflections every 90
35:07
minutes for 90 days. And some of them may not have
35:10
completed every 90 minutes. But for those that did, what it
35:15
showcased was that we're trying to figure out the the domains of
35:18
health here, which is spiritual health.
35:20
What's your mission? My mission?
35:21
Feed the poor, purify their water, help those in emotional
35:24
isolation believe in themselves. Mind health, Well, are you aware
35:28
and compassionate? And then physical health, are
35:31
you eating inflammatory foods? Financial health are you
35:34
consecrating your finances meaning are you surrendering him
35:38
to a higher purpose, whatever that looks like.
35:40
Kids, family 4-O1K are you surrendering it?
35:44
And then of course time and execution will help.
35:46
Are you doing one thing at a time?
35:48
1 tab open and are you executing things when you don't want to?
35:52
And what happens here is that that reduces the cortisol, the
35:55
stress hormone and writing. There's multiple studies that
35:59
showcase that writing will increase immune function,
36:03
engages the prefrontal cortex hand to paper, decreases
36:06
activity on the amygdala, and that's the emotional brain and
36:11
will also help you stabilize your serotonin, which is like
36:15
taking a drug, smoking up, eating something.
36:19
You're going to feel good about 30% of the time when you're
36:22
writing and it's for free. You don't need anything.
36:25
And if you do it enough, I would say you probably will feel good
36:29
at a high level for about 60 to 70% of the day, which I feel is
36:33
a very high level with no external validation.
36:36
So nobody's saying that you're good.
36:37
Nobody's saying that you got this.
36:39
Oh, I believe in you, though. You're a good person.
36:43
Stay strong, bro. You got this.
36:45
Yeah, creative and physical outputs.
36:48
The the that high is the best. It really is.
36:52
It's and it's, it's hard because it's hard.
36:54
You know, like the you have a Margarita, you feel great, but
36:58
that's easy. You know, it's, it's harder to
37:00
get off your butt and go do hot yoga for an hour or to sit down
37:03
and write when you don't want to.
37:05
You know, it's hard, but you pass through that.
37:07
Boy, that does feel good. Talk a little bit about the
37:10
intentional celibacy or intentionally single, how that
37:15
kind of play played a role in this transformation.
37:18
Yeah, you know, I was tired of the narcissistic traits,
37:20
blaming, complaining, talking bad, being condescending.
37:24
My dad said I'm stupid. I'm calling other people stupid.
37:26
How dare I do that? Who am I to to do that?
37:29
I said no way, I'm not going to displace my narcissistic fears
37:33
on somebody else. And that's when it initially
37:36
began. And I was single for about what
37:40
was it, maybe five years. I was dating occasionally here
37:44
and there, but never was I in a relationship, nor did I have any
37:48
intention. It was more so just to get
37:50
attention and just to make sure that I'm still in have some
37:56
market value of some sort. But I knew that I was not going
38:00
to hurt another person with anything.
38:03
I don't care what it looked like.
38:05
There was no cursing at them, no cursing at myself, no claiming
38:09
that I'm stupid and then calling other people dumb to make myself
38:12
feel better. Forget it.
38:13
I said no. And that's when it first
38:15
started. And then there was somebody I
38:17
worked with. Beautiful person inside and out.
38:21
And we, you know, I was hesitant with her too.
38:24
She saw me through everything. She saw me through my manic
38:27
episode. She helped me through it.
38:29
And you know, it was almost a period of several months where
38:33
we were just talking. But I knew her for almost 2
38:36
years before we started dating. And then we dated and you know,
38:39
I was still, I was, I just got sober.
38:41
I was working through some challenges.
38:43
I said still not maybe the right time.
38:45
And then I dated again, somebody for about a year and a half
38:48
would still maybe was the right time.
38:50
But then we were at different places in our lives.
38:53
So for three years out of this, since November of 2015, I was in
38:58
a relationship. But still I, I refuse to depend
39:01
on anybody emotionally. Meaning, hey, do you think that
39:04
I'm doing good? Do you think that I'm fine?
39:07
Do you think I'm good? Maybe I might ask that
39:09
sometimes, But then I'll go to dialectical behavioral therapy
39:12
and write it down. Yeah.
39:14
And then I was intentionally single during the other times,
39:18
long periods of time where I didn't date at all.
39:21
And then the dating became more of am I still have market value,
39:26
you know? Yeah.
39:28
Is that what you call having ABS?
39:29
Because you're absolutely shredded now.
39:31
Yeah, Thank you, brother. Yeah.
39:33
You know, now it's interesting. OK, so this is not something
39:36
that I really want like to talk about.
39:39
I really don't like to to talk about this.
39:41
But maybe this is the first time in my whole life that I'll
39:44
express it is you know how you talk about this magnetism?
39:47
You know, you talk about, hey, you know what?
39:49
When you have a mission, when you don't care, when you're not
39:53
expecting it, when you develop yourself, when you align with
39:56
that frequency and you manifest it and you live that life,
40:00
you'll be people will come towards you, No?
40:03
Actually, you know what? Everybody's going to leave.
40:05
That's what's going to happen, OK?
40:07
They're all gone, man. And then you have what I call
40:10
the sovereign paradox identity, where you've developed yourself,
40:14
you've quit everything. You got a six pack.
40:16
And I promise you, I was never going for that 6 pack.
40:18
I never wanted it. I, it just happened.
40:21
This is what I'm saying, right? You just one day you're just
40:23
going to love yourself. You, you should not be going for
40:25
that. And then I'm just and, and then
40:28
I have nothing bad to say. You know, I've trained myself to
40:31
be a speaker, but there's all kinds of things that I've done,
40:34
but still I don't feel I'm good enough.
40:36
No external validation and people have ghosted you.
40:38
They're gone. You say something about your
40:40
mission gone. But the YouTube video says that
40:43
that's what's going to draw you to the, you know, the next
40:45
person. They say that that's magnetism.
40:48
Nope, Peace out, man. They're going to be gone.
40:51
And you know what? I, I'm probably not the first
40:53
one to express this. I'm sure David Goggins would
40:56
corroborate this. You know, he would say, look,
40:58
you just, it's the way I view it, Ryan, is that I, I think
41:03
about the Mountaineer. There was 1 Mountaineer that I
41:05
was going to date. You know what?
41:07
I'm not about to go up there in that altitude, acclimatize, eat
41:13
some stuff, poop in in the mountain, and then have to clean
41:16
it up. I'm not going to do that.
41:18
I don't want to pay that altitude tax.
41:20
And that's the same thing with personal development.
41:23
People want that. They want to say you're
41:25
emotionally available. They want to say I'm emotionally
41:27
intelligent, but they don't want to write it down and accept who
41:30
they are and then consecrate their resentments.
41:34
Nobody wants to do it, OK, So forget about it.
41:37
Don't listen to me. Just live your life.
41:40
That's what I say. Unless you want to just be
41:42
alone. Incredible, incredible.
41:45
So we'll bring you all the way up to speed.
41:49
Where you are now. You know, structural density is
41:52
on point. What my son would say, you're
41:56
locked in. Yeah.
41:57
You have a very big mission and a, a, a, a path to get there.
42:03
So let's talk about the, the change that you would like to
42:06
enact with the world. What, what this structural
42:08
density, kind of what foundation that that is provided to get you
42:12
to where you're going? Where you going next?
42:15
Yeah, you know. February 2nd, 2021 3:36 PMI saw
42:19
my mom take her last breath and I promised her, I said I'm going
42:23
to do something. I don't know what it is, but I'm
42:25
going to, I'm going to help these people in Haiti and I'll
42:27
start there. And I've been to Haiti multiple
42:30
times, various reasons I haven't been back recently because of
42:34
some of I don't want to get into it, but it's not the easiest
42:38
place to, to go to at this moment.
42:40
But I'm absolutely determined to go there and start there first
42:44
to purify water and to do medical mission work in Syria,
42:48
Ukraine. And that my speaking fees, the
42:52
the, the coaching, the YouTube revenue, book sales.
42:56
I'm going to donate to feeding the poor, purifying their water,
43:00
starting the spark for humanity to not resent themselves, to
43:05
consecrate their resentments, to alchemize their past, to serve
43:10
that higher purpose, to get to that type 1 civilization where
43:13
we harness everything on earth to serve.
43:16
If nobody has anything bad to say about themselves, I would
43:19
argue that it's impossible to say something bad about somebody
43:22
else. And that will get us closer to
43:25
whatever it is humanity is going to do next, whether we're going
43:28
to become an interplanetary species, whether we're going to
43:30
be on Moon or whether we're going to occupy Mars.
43:33
Don't you want to be traveling to Mars without resentment and
43:36
depending on inflammatory food? You might as well try to
43:45
understand who you are way before you do that.
43:47
And I think that should be a part of curriculum, whether it's
43:50
mine or somebody else's, it don't matter.
43:52
You know, I'm and that's kind of where I'm at right now and
43:56
serving my mom's life, my dad's life and my brothers to serve
44:00
that higher purpose and donate my speaking fee.
44:04
Right now, I'm donating 70% of it.
44:07
And then my book sales, I'm going to donate 30% of it to
44:12
domestic violence shelters, to child abuse victims so we can
44:15
try to help them forgive themselves 1st.
44:20
And I know that sounds weird. Oh, they did that to me.
44:22
That's it. That's the that's the trouble.
44:24
We cannot focus on anybody for several years.
44:27
And with my dad, I just have deep empathy for him.
44:30
Now, I've never tried to forgive him, but I understand why he did
44:34
what he did. And generationally I have
44:36
written it all down. So that's just kind of one
44:38
thought. It's beautiful, man.
44:41
You know, kind of wrapping up a little bit.
44:42
I have a few more questions. The first being like where you
44:46
are now with structural density. If you could go back and talk to
44:49
yourself kind of at those low, low moments, what would you say?
44:53
Yeah, You know what I would tell my younger self is just stay
44:56
here for as long as you need to. Don't worry about it.
45:00
Worry is a bad word. Accept it and write it down.
45:04
You might be able to get there a couple seconds quicker, but just
45:06
live there because your life is meant to do something for
45:09
somebody else. This is not your plan.
45:12
This is God's plan and you're involved in it.
45:14
Just accept it, enjoy whatever you can while while you can, and
45:19
just surrender to your higher purpose.
45:22
But I wouldn't change anything. There's no way I could have been
45:25
the person I am now. Yeah, yeah.
45:28
Who is your Mount Rushmore of greatest rappers of all time?
45:32
It's going to be Eminem. Yeah, Tupac, actually.
45:39
You know what, Tupac. I would say Tupac 1st and then
45:43
Eminem and NF mixtape Chamillionaire that doesn't
45:48
curse and then TI. Nice, yeah.
45:51
That is a that's a a sample across the entire country.
45:54
I like that list. And August Alsina, we got to put
45:57
him in there too, although he sings.
45:59
They've been very influential in my life.
46:01
And flow wise it would be Bone Thugs and Harmony and Migos as
46:06
well. They got some serious flows.
46:08
Dude, Bone Thugs. Like you listen to them and like
46:11
how? Really like sophisticated and
46:14
intertwined the raps and the melodies are I mean, it's
46:18
they're like using Mixolodian scales a lot of times with raps
46:21
and like doing such cool thing. You know, this conversation for
46:24
some reason is like, what's that Nas song?
46:28
Whose world is this? I'm just getting this massive
46:31
correlation. You know, I write in my book of
46:33
rhymes all my words past the margin mechanical movements.
46:38
You know, I it's I don't know why.
46:40
What about Nas? You like Nas?
46:42
Now, as I've never really listened to some of the East
46:44
Coast stuff, more so it was Tupac, Sibo, Brother Lynch,
46:48
Hung, and then as we started, Doctor Dre, Snoop Dogg, those
46:53
were I never really listened to Jay-Z.
46:55
I'm looking over at the East Coast map here.
46:57
I didn't really listen to them. I never even still now I don't
47:01
have anything, you know, good or bad to say about, but you know,
47:04
I just never. Yeah, those are deep cuts too,
47:08
and that's some gangster stuff. What about like Far Side?
47:10
Those kind of like backpack West Coast guys.
47:13
No, it was more so some like Bone Thugs and Harmony.
47:18
Let's see here. I've got to give it on up to the
47:20
black black. Better pop pop, better jerk
47:21
socks. But the bone me never know how
47:24
so. And creeping up out of the zip
47:25
lock. Yeah.
47:26
So those are the lyrics just right there.
47:29
Yeah, Best. Yeah, Druva, this has been
47:31
absolutely incredible. If people want to learn more,
47:34
you can go to druvamd.com. I'm going to spell that out for
47:37
you. DHRUV amd.com.
47:42
Druva is available for speaking engagements.
47:44
Assuming that time is correct. Druva, where's the best place
47:49
for people to connect with you online personally?
47:51
Yeah, it would be getting to my e-mail list, the for where you
47:56
believe in yourself every second.
47:57
And you can also download a free mind hygiene guide on my YouTube
48:02
where you can kind of understand the process and how you can
48:07
probably develop your own technique of writing if you find
48:10
value in it, and then inspire somebody else.
48:13
So you can go onto my YouTube which is at Druva Guler MD and
48:17
then you can download the Mind Hygiene PDF or you can join the
48:21
e-mail list on druvamd.com which is probably the best way to
48:24
connect with me. Incredible and I'll, I'll link
48:29
all that up in the show notes. So if you listen to this
48:30
wherever you listen to it, you can see it down the show notes
48:32
definitely connect. This has given me a lot of
48:35
inspiration to go write. You know, I go through phases of
48:38
writing every time I write I grab a new book and so I've got
48:42
like 17 books with like 3 pages in it but yeah.
48:46
I'm. Going.
48:47
To pick up the pen and and do that, Truva, thank you so much
48:50
for joining me and telling me this incredible story.
48:52
Yeah, thanks, Ryan, for having me and what you do for others
48:55
and your energy. You know, when I first met you,
48:57
I knew I I said, I've said this to you and I know it'll happen
49:01
at some point somewhere in the world.
49:03
We're going to be sitting down. I'm going to be like, we donated
49:06
this, we did this and we accomplished this and it's going
49:10
to happen. I can just feel it.
49:12
And you're so inspirational and you know, you have the
49:15
structural density behind you as well put together.
49:18
You know, you got the hair, the glasses, of course, that's just
49:20
one part of it. And then the clean, the clean
49:22
outside and just the way your setup is and what you do for
49:28
others is also remarkable. And to be honest with you and I
49:32
have learned a lot from doctors, but I've worked in a prison as a
49:36
prison doctor. I learned from them.
49:38
I learned from other coaches who have had life experiences who
49:42
help other people scale like you do.
49:43
So I just want to acknowledge that I appreciate what you do
49:46
for others. And I hope that your, your
49:49
audience will say, OK, well, we can elevate AI this quickly by
49:54
doing this and they've inspired from our stories.
49:58
You know, Drew, it's very hard for me to take compliments, so
50:00
I'll just say thank you. I appreciate that.
50:02
And I would love to be on a beach somewhere sitting next to
50:05
you after we just did some big philanthropic project.
50:08
Yeah, for sure. Great vision.
50:10
I appreciate it, Drew, but thank you so much.
50:12
Great to see you again. OK.
50:14
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work hard enough, but because the job market changed and
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51:10
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51:14
Yeah.