Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What your SILENCE does to a narcissist

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What your SILENCE does to a narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about what your silence does to
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  a narcissist. How do narcissists react when
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  you are silent towards them? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back. Yes, yes, yes.
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  What the hell. Like you're silent, you refusing
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  to respond to them, you going completely darken them damn near
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  you ghost in them. What does that do to a
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  narcissist? Like right, What is what goes on
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  inside the mind of a narcissist when you decide that you are
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  going to remove contact with them?
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  Not necessarily going no contact.
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  So silence could be a part of no contact, right?
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  Because you're not responding to them.
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  You brought, you got them blocked everywhere.
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  That's a part of it. But like even when you're living
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  in a household with them, even when you're in a relationship
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  with them and you haven't fully broken up with them or went no
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  contact with them, your silence is a powerful, powerful weapon
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  yard. It can't absolutely be.
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  So I tell this to people all the time that you being silent to a
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  narcissist or to a toxic person is powerful, right?
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  It's a powerful thing to withhold, right?
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  It's a it's, yeah, it's the power within your, the palm of
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  your hand or the palm of your mouth.
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  The you know, you know what I mean?
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  I said palm of your mouth. What am I talking about?
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  But yeah, that's how it goes if you're dealing with a
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  narcissist, abusive person, toxic person, whatever it is,
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  right? This is the type of stuff that
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  they will do to you. This is the type of stuff that
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  will look her. This is the type of stuff that
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  they will break down and hurt you with, right?
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  They love your reactions. First of all, you not reacting
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  to them is a superpower for you. You removing your reactions to
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  them is a superpower for you. It's giving you the most power
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  in this space right here, right? Because narcissists thrive off
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  of your reactions. They can get supply from you
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  reacting to them. Even if your reactions are
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  valid, even if they treated you horribly, did some horrible
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  stuff to you, your reactions are absolutely valid, right?
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  But they love it because they think if you're reacting to them
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  that you still care, right? If you're giving them reactions,
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  they think you still care. So the opposite could be true as
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  well. Think about it, if you go silent
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  on them and you're not reacting to them, it can make them lose
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  their damn minds again. Some of them lose their minds,
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  go crazy and try to stalk you and do that type of stuff right
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  there. But a lot of them will lose
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  their minds and start blowing your phone up, accusing you of
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  having someone else, accusing you of giving up on the
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  relationship and not willing to fight for the relationship, blah
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  blah blah. Boo Boo Boo BBB rabble, rabble,
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  rabble. That's the type of stuff right
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  there. And like Speaking of rabble,
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  rabble, rabble, I had a, I'll show y'all later and I put my
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  phone out. But this is the type of stuff
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  that they would do like you removing yours, you giving them,
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  it's kind of like you giving them the silent treatment,
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  right? But you're not giving them the
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  silent treatment per SE. The silent treatment is
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  punishment. That's what narcissists do.
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  They use it to punish. You are using your silence to
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  heal and to allow them to out themselves.
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  Because when you go silent, a lot of narcissists will out
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  themselves for how they really feel and what they what is
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  really going on in their mind, right?
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  They can't them there can't help it.
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  Or there's some narcissists who will match your energy and just
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  go silent along with you. Your silence will be the end of
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  the relationship. Or there's some out there who
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  would do that. Absolutely yes, right.
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  There are a lot of narcissists out there who absolutely use
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  your silence as an OK, I guess we're broken up being right.
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  They will do that. So many of them will do that,
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  but a lot of them will will start blowing you up.
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  You go silent, they'll see you in an e-mail.
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  I had a a lady I was doing a one-on-one with today.
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  I still do my coaching calls and stuff like that.
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  Mental illness.net. I'm doing a coaching call today.
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  Then she said I went. I've been silent for the last
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  six months. I don't block the way
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  everywhere. He still finds ways to reach out
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  to me, but when I'm silent, he starts accusing me of having
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  someone else, a girl in my support group, the mental
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  healers. You can find that at
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  mentalhealness.net as well. She said the same type of thing.
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  She said, hey, when I go silent, he loses his damn mind.
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  When I go silent, he does this, he does that.
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  Like he started accusing me of having someone else because they
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  are like, yeah, if they start accusing you of having with
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  someone else, a lot of times that means that they have
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  someone else that's just the proof positive.
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  They're just giving you the proof right there.
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  They're giving you the proof that they themselves have
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  someone else when you go silent on them.
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  Silent rage. I'm telling you, your silence
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  could elicit, your silence could actually cause a narcissistic
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  injury, right? Your silence could cause a
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  devastating narcissistic injury towards people, towards them,
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  right? It absolutely could.
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  That's one of the things that happens to so many people.
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  You go in silent, causes an injury that makes them lose
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  their minds, that it hurts their feelings like you because they
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  want to be in control. You go in silent.
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  It's you in control. You're not responding, you're
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  not reacting. You go, like I said, you just
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  removing your removing communication overall, unless
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  it's necessary because somebody all have kids and you can't
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  help, you can't go in silent and look combative to courts and
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  stuff like that. I get it.
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  You look, you could look, you could, you can mirror a
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  parental. They'll start accusing you of
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  being a parental alienator if you go silent, right?
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  They're not communicating with the kids.
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  They, they, they have removed communication.
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  They're being combative. They don't want to work
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  together. Rabble, rabble, rabble, right?
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  They do that type of stuff right there.
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  But I tell this to people all the time, this is the space that
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  we fall into. This is the dynamic that we fall
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  into. This is the crux that we fall
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  into. Narcissistic people will
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  continue to go silent on you, will continue to abuse you and
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  use you and stuff like that because they feel like they want
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  to be in control. But when you match they damn
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  energy, they don't like it. They hate y'all.
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  They hate it, hate it so much. They hate it so damn much.
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  When you go silent on them, your silence shows them that you are
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  taking your power back and they hate that type of stuff right
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  there, right? And they hate that type of
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  stuff. But be prepared as well, y'all.
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  I told you earlier, your silence can make your silence can make
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  them feel like they're going to be in combative.
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  No, your silence can make it seem like you being combative.
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  They will take your silence as an excuse to go out there and
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  cheat on you too. So be silent if you're still
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  together, but just be prepared because some of them were just
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  like, well, you were silent on me.
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  You didn't talk to me. So I had to go hear somebody
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  else's voice. And I went to the bar and I
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  can't help that I went to the bar and this girl, she just
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  wanted me to go home with her. And I can't help that I float.
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  I didn't really want to go home with her.
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  Like you gave me the silent treatment.
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  You were giving me the silent treatment.
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  You're a narcissist so I floated her voice made me float to her
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  house and stripped my clothes off her.
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  She's like a siren. The siren call.
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  She just screeched and my clothes blew off and stuff like
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  that. We had you going solid will they
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  will accused you of being non commutative and also call you a
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  narcissist. Your silence job can drive them
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  crazy. That's part Yeah, that's part of
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  the process, right? That's what I'm saying.
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  Like if you go silent and you start to take your power back,
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  just be prepared for so many different scenarios to arise to
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  occur because like I said, some of them will absolutely accuse
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  you of cheating. They'll accuse you of being out
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  there in the streets. They'll accuse you of you.
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  They'll accuse you of being a whore, whatever it is y'all.
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  They will accuse you of so many different things in these
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  scenarios that will drive you. Damn, they're crazy.
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  They will make you lose your damn mind, but this is the
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  process that you will face. This is the space that you will
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  fall into. This is the type of stuff that
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  so many narcissistic people enjoy doing to you, right?
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  This is the type of stuff that they enjoy.
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  Like you are powerful. You are stronger than what you
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  think you are. That's why I tell people all the
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  time, you are stronger than what you think you are.
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  Like, if you're going to no contact, of course silence is
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  part of no contact, right? If you're going to contact and
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  help you heal and you getting past it, of course this is
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  silence is part of that. Like you're being silent, silent
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  by choice. You know, a lot of times they
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  drive you to being silent because you can't talk to them
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  anywhere, right? You can't talk.
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  There's no point of you get to the point where you feel like,
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  well, what the hell? There's no point of me talking
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  to this person because when I try to talk to them, we argue,
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  we fuss, we fight. There's no point in me talking
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  to this person. There's no conversation.
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  So I can't even open my voice. I can't even use my voice
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  anyway. So why the hell would I talk to
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  this person? So a lot of times they will take
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  your silence as an as an act of aggression or sometimes they
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  take your silence as the like you, they take your silence as
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  you just acknowledging that they are, they are right about
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  whatever right? You mean, I just feel like
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  that's what that's the mindset, that's the space that so many
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  people fall into. This is the crux.
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  This is like a crossroads. This is the type of stuff you
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  have to deal with. Y'all like, yes, they will give
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  you the silent treatment as punishment, but you're giving
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  them silence as a healing. So your silence helps you heal
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  because like I said, it gives them the opportunity to out
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  themselves. If you give a narcissist enough
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  rope, they will hang themselves with it.
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  I promise you they will. Again, this is like I said, just
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  be prepared because there's not going to be sunshine and
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  rainbows when you go silent on them.
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  They will lose they damn mind, right?
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  They will lose their damn minds. Let's be prepared for y'all.
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  Because this is the type of this is the type of situation where
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  your silence is you taking your power back.
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  Your silence is not complicit. Your silence is not you being
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  complicit. Your silence is you taking your
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  power back. So as a narcissist, they like
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  you being silent to them. You're not responding to them.
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  Even if you live together, they would know something is going
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  on. They were trying to drag it out
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  of you. But if you can just continue to
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  use your silence and Gray rock and do what you need to do, you
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  can help. You can help you heal.
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  Again, not everybody leaves. Not everybody has the ability to
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  leave right now. And this is not me trying to
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  just drag you out of your household and do whatever you
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  feel you know. This is not me trying to do
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  that. This is me right here.
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  Just trying to let you know that people are going to keep doing
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  this type of stuff right here. This is me trying to let you
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  know that a lot of narcissists and toxic people are going to
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  continue to, you know, expound upon their behaviors and be
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  toxic, as toxic as they want to, as toxic as they so choose to.
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  So it's baby steps in the right direction in order to assist you
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  into getting where you get to, getting you to where you want to
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  go. Like absolutely.
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  I tell this to people all the time.
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  This is part of y'all. Your silence is not complicity.
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  Your silence is you taking your power back.
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  It just is. If you ever, ever wanted to know
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  what your silence does to a narcissist, it makes their minds
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  wonder if they can't get a grasp on it because you're not
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  communicating with them. And you know even if you were
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  communicating with them, you're not going to get your point
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  across anyway. You're not going to get
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  validated or whatever unless you try to reframe it as them
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  arguing and fussing and fighting as a sign of your validation.
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  But you have to empower yourself.
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  You have to stay as strong as you possibly can.
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  You know, it's healing season. It's healing thrilling season,
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  y'all. Anyway, y'all, thank y'all for
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  making to the end of my video. I really truly appreciate every
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  single one of y'all. Y'all.
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  Houston and Dallas, TX are on November the 2nd and November
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  the 3rd. We'll be in Dallas, TX on the
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  2nd of November 2024. I don't know when you're
• 11:06
  watching this. We'll be in Houston, TX on the
• 11:08
  set on the 3rd of November 2024. You can find you can register
• 11:13
  for those events at mentalillness.net/events.
• 11:17
  And if you made it this far, you can use the code MENTAL 10 for
• 11:21
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• 11:28
  today. I will see y'all in Houston and
• 11:30
  Dallas. Peace.
• 11:32
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I'm extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
• 11:37
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• 11:39
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• 11:44
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• 11:46
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• 11:49
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• 11:51
  I will see you in the next video.
• 11:52
  Peace.