Latest / Stuff Mom Never Told You / SMNTY Fiction: Terminus 2, Chapter 2

Transcript

SMNTY Fiction: Terminus 2, Chapter 2 · Stuff Mom Never Told You

0:05
Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff
0:07
Speaker 1: we never told you, a production of iHeart Radio. And
0:18
Speaker 1: welcome to our last fiction of twenty twenty three. Yes,
0:26
Speaker 1: our reminder, this is a once a month thing that
0:28
Speaker 1: we do. This is a continuing story. We're actually in
0:32
Speaker 1: the second part of a trilogy. So go listen to
0:38
Speaker 1: those others if you haven't, because yes, this is the
0:40
Speaker 1: sequel to Terminus. I'm just calling it Terminus Part two.
0:43
Speaker 1: But the original name was Big Things Start Small, Just
0:45
Speaker 1: so you know, I thought it would be confusing, so
0:50
Speaker 1: I just I love it. Yes, this was a Nano
0:54
Speaker 1: Raimo story. All of these were, so there is minimal editing.
1:00
Speaker 1: Uh and I kind of like examining where my mind
1:04
Speaker 1: was then because I wrote these this was in twenty eleven,
1:06
Speaker 1: I would have been writing this one. And also, just like,
1:11
Speaker 1: shout out to Christina. She does all of the sound effects.
1:14
Speaker 1: These are heavier lifts for her. So just always want
1:17
Speaker 1: to call that out magic maker. Absolutely every time I
1:20
Speaker 1: listen to them, I'm like, who listen to that wind?
1:24
Speaker 1: Yes she should keep this job, keep the job. I'm
1:29
Speaker 1: trying to make that okay, never mind, I ruined it.
1:31
Speaker 1: Keep going we love. Please don't I get there. We
1:39
Speaker 1: are working on getting all of these together in the
1:42
Speaker 1: playlist so they're more easily found, So keep an ear
1:46
Speaker 1: out eye out for that. This is a bit of
1:48
Speaker 1: what I would call a slower, more introspective chapter. That
1:53
Speaker 1: being said, when I read it, it's intense, like emotionally,
1:59
Speaker 1: so that being said. Content warning for discussion of hunger, disease, needles,
2:05
Speaker 1: and vaccine stuff. There's a dissociation scene that I forgot about.
2:11
Speaker 1: There's discussion of sexual assaults that isn't explicit but is
2:15
Speaker 1: kind of emotional mentions of weight loss, internalized ableism. Yeah,
2:22
Speaker 1: it's kind of a like confronting the emotions of what
2:26
Speaker 1: happens scene that happens in here. Okay, yep, so pcap.
2:35
Speaker 1: This is an earth, a world where there's a disease
2:39
Speaker 1: that makes it very difficult for people to get pregnant.
2:42
Speaker 1: Humanity is dying off, and it's not good. It's not pretty.
2:48
Speaker 1: It's all of your dystopian end of the world things.
2:52
Speaker 1: And there is in the United States what was the
2:56
Speaker 1: United States? There is the government called the State, but
3:00
Speaker 1: they work closely alongside a religious organization called arm and
3:06
Speaker 1: our main characters Tilda and her son Madison, have been
3:10
Speaker 1: on the run from them because she illegally had a
3:14
Speaker 1: child in this world where they very much monitor how
3:17
Speaker 1: you have children, and they were finally captured. At the
3:20
Speaker 1: end of the first one, it's revealed that the leaders
3:23
Speaker 1: of ARM are the grandparents of Madison, and that they
3:28
Speaker 1: destroyed all the vaccines and pretty much caused the virus
3:32
Speaker 1: for population control, and uh they give the vaccines to Madisine.
3:38
Speaker 1: Tilda is able to escape with him after broadcasting out
3:42
Speaker 1: on their kind of what remains of the national broadcast
3:45
Speaker 1: system that they had a vaccine. They destroyed it, but
3:47
Speaker 1: there is a vaccine. They escape, and now as the
3:52
Speaker 1: second one opens, it's dire circumstances is winter. They have
3:56
Speaker 1: no food, the clothes are bere like, it's not looking good,
4:00
Speaker 1: and there's a fellow, a horse that's following them and
4:03
Speaker 1: they can't figure it out all yes, yes, it's the
4:09
Speaker 1: fell horse. But that's where we are. They have found
4:15
Speaker 1: an abandoned cabin in this forest and they stay there
4:21
Speaker 1: the night. They're trying to warm up and figure out
4:24
Speaker 1: what they're gonna do next. So that's where we are.
4:27
Speaker 1: Let us get in to chapter two when Tilda next awoke.
4:47
Speaker 1: Cool blue light once again filtered through the window. She
4:51
Speaker 1: could hear the sounds of slush sliding off branches. She
4:54
Speaker 1: blinked her grainy eyelids, looking down to Madison, who had
4:58
Speaker 1: at some point in the night cuddled in under the
5:00
Speaker 1: blanket hidden from view. She peeled the handmade coverlet back carefully.
5:06
Speaker 1: Madison flinched at the exposure to cold air, turning his
5:09
Speaker 1: face instinctively into the cushion with a quiet mewing sound.
5:12
Speaker 1: His face was still garishly pale, but some of the
5:15
Speaker 1: color had returned to his lips. She moved the sides
5:18
Speaker 1: of his hair long now that she'd had a little
5:20
Speaker 1: chance to cut it since DC, to check his ears.
5:23
Speaker 1: A sigh of relief escaped her lips when they weren't black.
5:26
Speaker 1: Madison turned back towards her, blinking owlishly, his hair sticking
5:30
Speaker 1: out in all directions and clearly disoriented. How are you feeling,
5:35
Speaker 1: she asked. He rubbed at his eyes better warmer. Tilda
5:42
Speaker 1: took a moment to assess her own body and how
5:44
Speaker 1: it was handling the rewarming process. She flexed her fingers
5:48
Speaker 1: and wriggled her toes. The rush of blood of making
5:51
Speaker 1: them tingle. She stretched her neck, her arms, her calves,
5:55
Speaker 1: all of which felt slow and sore. Her ears and
5:58
Speaker 1: nose were still cold to the touch. An inspection of
6:02
Speaker 1: madisons revealed that his were as well. Her throat burned
6:05
Speaker 1: and her back ached. Her lungs felt icy, but overall
6:10
Speaker 1: she felt much improved. With deliberation, she extracted herself from
6:15
Speaker 1: the warmth of the blanket, every sore muscle making itself
6:18
Speaker 1: known as she scooted toward the edge of the couch
6:20
Speaker 1: and swung her legs off the side, her toes twitching
6:23
Speaker 1: at the contact with the cold wooden floor that she
6:26
Speaker 1: could feel even through her warm padded socks. Feeling old,
6:31
Speaker 1: she took a deep breath, preparing to stand as one
6:33
Speaker 1: preparing to perform a very complicated stunt. She hoisted herself up,
6:38
Speaker 1: almost losing her balance and falling back onto the couch.
6:41
Speaker 1: She straightened slowly, her lower back throbbing in protest. She
6:46
Speaker 1: took a deep breath and then a step forward, careful
6:49
Speaker 1: of all of the clothes they shed last night, the
6:52
Speaker 1: fabric stiff, dried in odd shapes. A precursory glance around
6:57
Speaker 1: the room in the light informed a very different space
7:00
Speaker 1: than what it had been at night. Above the fireplace
7:03
Speaker 1: was a TV wide and flat tables with pictures and books.
7:08
Speaker 1: Portraits of snow capped mountains and woods on the walls
7:11
Speaker 1: in stark contrast to the paneling outside. The wood within
7:15
Speaker 1: was warm and brown as one stepping on broken glass.
7:20
Speaker 1: Tilda continued her tottering exploration of the cabin her gaze
7:23
Speaker 1: meandering from item to item, taking stock of anything with
7:27
Speaker 1: potential further use. Fuzzy images forming of the types of
7:31
Speaker 1: people who at once stayed here. Tilda shuffled first into
7:35
Speaker 1: the kitchen, hoping to find some canned foods. Out of curiosity.
7:39
Speaker 1: She opened the refrigerator, unsurprised to find no food. Grateful
7:44
Speaker 1: for nothing spoiled at the very least, she then started
7:47
Speaker 1: the painful process of alternately bending and reaching to investigate
7:51
Speaker 1: the innerds of the cabinets. Apart from a package of
7:54
Speaker 1: uncooked angel paired pasta, a package of mac and cheese,
7:57
Speaker 1: and a box of muffin mix, she found on pots
8:00
Speaker 1: and pants. Frustrated despite anticipating this till the contemplated ways
8:06
Speaker 1: they could cook the pasta. As she left the kitchen
8:08
Speaker 1: and turned down the hallway her muscles, finally warming up
8:11
Speaker 1: a bit as she moved the hallway closet revealed a
8:14
Speaker 1: plethora of pillows and blankets. She tossed a comfy looking
8:18
Speaker 1: blue and white comforter to Madison, who surveyed her progress
8:21
Speaker 1: sleepily from the couch. Next to the closet was a
8:24
Speaker 1: bathroom whites and purples and very clean, empty, save for
8:29
Speaker 1: an extra pack of toilet paper and towels in all
8:31
Speaker 1: sizes that matched the round mat on the floor. The
8:35
Speaker 1: two doors opposite each other at the end of the
8:37
Speaker 1: hallway were two small bedrooms, one with a forest green palette,
8:41
Speaker 1: the other orange and burgundy. A quick search of the
8:44
Speaker 1: dressers and nightstands in each room produced only a bible.
8:48
Speaker 1: She followed the hallway back to the front door and
8:51
Speaker 1: turned to go up steps, leaning heavily on the railing
8:54
Speaker 1: as she climbed to the second floor, spots dancing in
8:57
Speaker 1: her vision. Upstairs were three bunk beds with scratchy looking
9:01
Speaker 1: blankets and nothing else. Out of breath, Tilda paused for
9:05
Speaker 1: a moment, surveying the living room where they'd spent their night.
9:09
Speaker 1: Madison had pulled his knees to his chest practically swallowed
9:12
Speaker 1: by the comforter Tilta had tossed to him. He watched
9:15
Speaker 1: her silently, a forlorn creature in his nest. The second
9:19
Speaker 1: story was open, there was no wall or railing along
9:23
Speaker 1: the side. She longed to take a break from her
9:25
Speaker 1: search and sit and hang her legs off of it,
9:28
Speaker 1: but the difficulty posed by getting back up stopped her that,
9:32
Speaker 1: and she imagined Madison was hungry. If her own stomach
9:36
Speaker 1: was any indication, what she'd give for something warm to eat,
9:41
Speaker 1: she thought, as she unceremoniously made her way back down
9:44
Speaker 1: the stairs, her knees wobbling. She once again tried to
9:47
Speaker 1: come up with some way to boil water for the noodles,
9:50
Speaker 1: but thanks to the man on horseback, she didn't consider
9:52
Speaker 1: starting a fire an option, and unless she could figure
9:55
Speaker 1: a way to flip the power back on, and she
9:58
Speaker 1: highly doubted she could, and the stove an oven were
10:01
Speaker 1: out of the picture as well. At the foot of
10:04
Speaker 1: the stairs, she took a deep breath, shutting her eyes
10:06
Speaker 1: and judging up the will to return to the living area,
10:10
Speaker 1: she collapsed into the love seat and sat back for
10:12
Speaker 1: a moment, dizzy and weak, biting back a grown of frustration,
10:17
Speaker 1: in her body for being so easily winded. She leaned
10:21
Speaker 1: forward and sloid the backpack to rest at her feet,
10:24
Speaker 1: yanking open in the middle pocket, Can we make a fire?
10:29
Speaker 1: Madison posed, tentatively, already suspecting the answer. Tilda shook her
10:33
Speaker 1: head and his face fell too dangerous. The man we
10:38
Speaker 1: saw on the horse yesterday might see the smoke. Madison
10:42
Speaker 1: accepted her response with a solemn nod. You want something
10:45
Speaker 1: to eat, I've got protein bars, granola, trail mix, trail mix,
10:52
Speaker 1: Madison responded, after several long seconds of silence. Folding out
10:56
Speaker 1: a small hand, Tilda fished out a bag of trail
10:59
Speaker 1: mix and passed him, grabbing a protein bar for herself.
11:02
Speaker 1: Though they left much to be desired and taste, they
11:05
Speaker 1: at least weren't as rock hard as the granola bars,
11:07
Speaker 1: and the protein and carbs gave her an energy boost too.
11:11
Speaker 1: She also pulled out two more waters to go along
11:13
Speaker 1: with their breakfast. They munched slowly in silence, well aware
11:18
Speaker 1: of the importance of eating slowly to abate the hunger,
11:20
Speaker 1: to give the illusion of eating more, and to give
11:23
Speaker 1: their stomachs time to fill up. Such as it was.
11:27
Speaker 1: I miss pancakes. Madison ventured, quietly, staring at the bag
11:32
Speaker 1: of trail mixes, though he could replace it with pancakes
11:35
Speaker 1: if he only concentrated hard enough. Did you eat those
11:39
Speaker 1: a lot growing up? Tilda chewed, remembering a life that
11:43
Speaker 1: felt surreal now, No, not really. Madison was quiet for
11:49
Speaker 1: a second, taking a tiny bite out of a raisin.
11:52
Speaker 1: I wonder how Lynn is doing. They were broaching the
11:55
Speaker 1: subject Tilda had been unwilling to broach last night, though
11:58
Speaker 1: Madison was taking the long way there. Madison would only
12:03
Speaker 1: meet her gaze momentarily, his eyes darting away the second
12:06
Speaker 1: they met hers, staring at the packet of trail mix
12:09
Speaker 1: watching her through his eyelashes. She wondered if he felt
12:12
Speaker 1: guilty bringing line up reading. I bet she's reading. What
12:18
Speaker 1: do you think? Madison bit his lip, cooking That drew
12:24
Speaker 1: an involuntary snort out of Tilda that made her almost
12:27
Speaker 1: immediately feel guilty. You're probably right, she conceded. You don't
12:33
Speaker 1: think she got in trouble with the enforcers, do you.
12:37
Speaker 1: Tilda took another bite out of her protein bar, willing
12:39
Speaker 1: herself to relax into the back of the chair. I'm
12:42
Speaker 1: sure Lne is fine. She's a smart lady to avoid
12:46
Speaker 1: them for all these years. Madison looked down, but she
12:51
Speaker 1: helped us. Tilda finished her bar, regarding the packaging desolately
12:55
Speaker 1: before crumpling it up in her fist and wiping the
12:58
Speaker 1: crumbs from the front of her shirt. I know, she
13:02
Speaker 1: agreed quietly, but she knows how to hide things. She
13:05
Speaker 1: was pregnant herself and the state didn't know it. Madison
13:09
Speaker 1: nodded reluctantly, sipping at his water. Tilda glanced out the window.
13:14
Speaker 1: Snow still covered the ground, but the sun was out
13:16
Speaker 1: for the first time in days. Water dripped from the
13:19
Speaker 1: trees as the ice melted, so that needle. Tilda swiveled
13:27
Speaker 1: her neck back to Madison. At the preface of a question.
13:30
Speaker 1: To so many questions, the one they stuck me with
13:35
Speaker 1: it was a vexine. Yes, it means you can't get
13:40
Speaker 1: the disease to that I have, that most people have.
13:44
Speaker 1: I can't, No, I think, she added mentally, you're immune,
13:52
Speaker 1: you won't get it. Madison processed this for a moment,
13:55
Speaker 1: chewing on his lip, and there was only one more
14:00
Speaker 1: yes for everybody. Yes, but if the right people find it,
14:05
Speaker 1: then they can study it and make more like the
14:09
Speaker 1: guy that the guy that told us about the train,
14:13
Speaker 1: the guy that I killed. Till the filled in for
14:16
Speaker 1: him silently, Yes, like him. What if no one can
14:23
Speaker 1: figure it out? What if I'm the only one who
14:25
Speaker 1: will be immune? Madison's words ran together in a barely
14:30
Speaker 1: contained panic. Leaning forward, Tilda said, in the firmest voice
14:35
Speaker 1: she could muster, you won't be But how do you know?
14:41
Speaker 1: His eyes were filled with tears. If they did it before,
14:45
Speaker 1: they could do it again, and now everyone knows that
14:48
Speaker 1: it has been done and can be done. It's amazing
14:52
Speaker 1: what a little hope can do. Green eyes looked away
14:55
Speaker 1: from her, desperate to believe her. Does everyone know? He whispered,
15:03
Speaker 1: Does everyone know I'm immune? Frowning, Tilda answered truthfully she
15:10
Speaker 1: didn't know. But those people, the ones who said I
15:15
Speaker 1: was their grandson. He fumbled over the word, having little
15:18
Speaker 1: occasion to use it, He probably told everyone. Does that
15:23
Speaker 1: scare you? The look Madison gave her told her emphatically
15:27
Speaker 1: that yes, of course it did. What if they can't
15:32
Speaker 1: figure out how to make another vaccine and they come
15:34
Speaker 1: after me so they could study me. Tilda had considered
15:38
Speaker 1: the possibility, but was surprised that Madison had, though she
15:41
Speaker 1: shouldn't have been. He was a very intelligent child. The
15:46
Speaker 1: man on the horse, he could have been one of them,
15:48
Speaker 1: Madison continued. Then we do what we've always done, Tilda said,
15:54
Speaker 1: barely able to keep her voice free of sadness and
15:57
Speaker 1: weariness as she said it. But Madison broke off his face.
16:02
Speaker 1: Growing up, we could have died. I thought we were
16:06
Speaker 1: going to freeze to death. Tilt about her head, ashamed
16:11
Speaker 1: at the truth of this. But we didn't. Mass or Okay,
16:16
Speaker 1: But we can't stay here, Madison pointed out. Tilda felt
16:21
Speaker 1: like she was having a conversation with an adult as
16:23
Speaker 1: opposed to an eight year old child. And what if
16:26
Speaker 1: it happens again while we're out there, But we don't
16:29
Speaker 1: find a place to stay, our food or water. We'll
16:33
Speaker 1: figure it out. We'll be more careful. Her answers sounded
16:37
Speaker 1: hollow in her own ears. The people who say they
16:42
Speaker 1: are my grandparents, they won't stop looking while they Madison
16:46
Speaker 1: looked at her, deep into her eyes, no till the murmured,
16:52
Speaker 1: I don't think they will. And all those people He
16:58
Speaker 1: trailed off until to realize he had ever seen so
17:00
Speaker 1: many people. It had been a long time since she
17:03
Speaker 1: had either they were fighting. Tilda nodded, The others were
17:09
Speaker 1: going to DC to look for the vaccine because of
17:13
Speaker 1: what you said. Another nod, Madison looked down. Forehead crinkled.
17:19
Speaker 1: Then if I can help them by studying, they can
17:25
Speaker 1: make more medicines. Shouldn't shouldn't I help them? Tilda blinked,
17:30
Speaker 1: blindsided by this. She'd not been expecting it. The thought
17:35
Speaker 1: had never occurred to her. So strong was her first
17:37
Speaker 1: priority of keeping Madison safe? What did that say about her?
17:44
Speaker 1: Flinching unprepared for this moment of introspection, Tilda muttered, they
17:49
Speaker 1: have a vaccine. They'll find a way to make more.
17:53
Speaker 1: Madison did not look convinced by this answer. Dust floated
17:59
Speaker 1: in the cool eye streaming through the window. Tilda stared
18:02
Speaker 1: at all of the particles, feeling as spread out and
18:05
Speaker 1: disconnected as the particles drifting in the room. I don't understand,
18:11
Speaker 1: Madison admitted, a low concession, barely above a whisper. What
18:16
Speaker 1: don't you understand? Madison twisted his fingers, refusing to meet
18:21
Speaker 1: her gaze. Why did they destroy all the vaccines if
18:25
Speaker 1: it would have helped helped people? Tilda understood this, but
18:30
Speaker 1: not intimately. It was a foreign concept that she understood,
18:34
Speaker 1: but only intellectually they wanted. She broke off, licking her lips,
18:40
Speaker 1: not wanting to have to explain this to her son,
18:43
Speaker 1: not knowing the words, not knowing how they were afraid,
18:48
Speaker 1: she settled on. They were afraid of what it would
18:51
Speaker 1: mean to get everyone a vaccine, of losing power, and
18:55
Speaker 1: of what everyone would do when they found out, She
18:59
Speaker 1: swaw took a deep breath when they found out that
19:03
Speaker 1: they had caused HSB, the disease. It was the truth
19:10
Speaker 1: of a poorly articulated one mass and mold us over
19:13
Speaker 1: for a moment. But why'd they cause it? As strange
19:18
Speaker 1: as the sound's mouse. There used to be too many
19:22
Speaker 1: people mass and gas allowed too many people, he parroted.
19:29
Speaker 1: Despite the subject matter, the corner of Tilda's lips twitched. Yes,
19:34
Speaker 1: there was a time when people were worried about overpopulation,
19:37
Speaker 1: that the size of our population was too big, and
19:40
Speaker 1: that we didn't have enough food or space for everyone.
19:44
Speaker 1: So a group of people they were trying to fix that.
19:50
Speaker 1: They were trying to fix things by making it so
19:52
Speaker 1: people couldn't have babies, Madison demanded, aghast. Yes, he didn't
20:00
Speaker 1: know it was going to keep people, or at least
20:03
Speaker 1: everyone from having babies. But Madison spluttered, didn't they test it?
20:11
Speaker 1: I don't know, she admitted. Madison held her gaze, trying
20:16
Speaker 1: to understand. He gave a tiny sigh, frustrated. The crinkling
20:21
Speaker 1: of the trail mixed wrapper as Madison fiddled with it
20:23
Speaker 1: in his lap sounded strangely loud. If those people were
20:28
Speaker 1: my grandparents, Madison began slowly staring now at the fireplace,
20:33
Speaker 1: and their son was my father, till the stomach clinched
20:39
Speaker 1: in a way. She was grateful Madison was bringing up
20:42
Speaker 1: these questions instead of her having to initiate, but hearing them,
20:46
Speaker 1: these adult questions in the tiny child's voice made her
20:49
Speaker 1: feel irresponsible and ashamed. So she were a child caught
20:53
Speaker 1: sneaking in at night, and he was the word and
20:55
Speaker 1: disappointed parent. Keeping her tone as neutral as possible, said yes.
21:02
Speaker 1: Madison processed that for a minute, okay, his voice broke.
21:09
Speaker 1: Tilda lifted her eyes to his face, dismayed to see
21:12
Speaker 1: the tears silently streaming down it momentarily frozen in place.
21:16
Speaker 1: She watched him despondently hug his knees to his chest
21:20
Speaker 1: and bury his face in them, the white comforter sliding
21:23
Speaker 1: halfway to the floor. Fighting their urge to follow suit,
21:28
Speaker 1: she rose, her body creaky like an old tree, and
21:31
Speaker 1: approached him cautiously. She wasn't sure what had upset him,
21:35
Speaker 1: For all she knew he was disgusted with her. As
21:39
Speaker 1: gracefully as she could when she felt like all of
21:41
Speaker 1: her bones were brittle and could easily snap, she lowered
21:44
Speaker 1: herself onto the couch next to him, a wall of
21:47
Speaker 1: blanket between them. She swallowed, watching, struggling to find the
21:51
Speaker 1: most basic words, what's wrong? Madison hunched his shoulders, sniffling.
21:59
Speaker 1: The need to comfort him overwhelmed her. Fear of his reaction,
22:02
Speaker 1: and she reached out, putting a hand on his back.
22:05
Speaker 1: Talk to me, sweetie, He gave a quiet sob. If
22:10
Speaker 1: their family, his voice was so soft she had to
22:13
Speaker 1: lean forward and hang on to every word. If their family,
22:17
Speaker 1: how could they do that? They were going to kill you.
22:24
Speaker 1: Madison didn't know any family outside of Tilda. All he
22:27
Speaker 1: knew was a mother, a mother whose primary concern was
22:30
Speaker 1: her son's survival. He didn't know grandparents or cousins or fathers.
22:35
Speaker 1: In his mind, he'd created a fairy tale version of
22:38
Speaker 1: what a family must be, A care and group of
22:41
Speaker 1: people that loved you in spite of everything, who were
22:44
Speaker 1: there for you when you needed them no matter what,
22:47
Speaker 1: who laughed with each other and protected each other. She
22:51
Speaker 1: knew he thought this, She'd caught glimpses of it before
22:54
Speaker 1: his face after reading or hearing a story about unconditional
22:58
Speaker 1: familial love, or even a family that was clearly loving,
23:02
Speaker 1: even if their relationship was not the focus of this story.
23:05
Speaker 1: Little Things, he'd say that. Tilda was never sure how
23:08
Speaker 1: to respond to his innocent drawings and descriptions of what
23:11
Speaker 1: his family must be like. She'd allowed him this because
23:15
Speaker 1: she'd never imagined she'd meet the father or his parents,
23:19
Speaker 1: nor had she known the identities of his paternal grandparents
23:23
Speaker 1: and her own did not fit into Madison's loving family mold,
23:27
Speaker 1: and she hadn't had the heart to tell him that
23:29
Speaker 1: this wasn't always the case. Tilda had never imagined that
23:33
Speaker 1: his carefully constructed image would be so violently destroyed and
23:38
Speaker 1: by his own family. By shielding him, Tilda had only
23:42
Speaker 1: allowed more, and maybe even a reparable damage to be done.
23:46
Speaker 1: Sometimes family members do stupid things to the ones they're
23:50
Speaker 1: supposed to love. They were scared two mouths. They didn't
23:54
Speaker 1: know where you'd been or if you were safe. They
23:56
Speaker 1: didn't know who I was. They didn't know who so
24:00
Speaker 1: I was either, Madison cried out no, but they knew
24:06
Speaker 1: you were a child, and that you were their grandson,
24:08
Speaker 1: and that you'd been kidnapped. Madison made a vehement sound
24:14
Speaker 1: of disagreement that drew a grin out of Tilda. In
24:18
Speaker 1: their eyes, you'd been kidnapped, and I'm not their family, Madison,
24:22
Speaker 1: you are. They don't see me as family, But aren't you?
24:27
Speaker 1: Madison raised his head, eyeing her confusedly. Isn't that how
24:31
Speaker 1: it works? Tilda ran a hand through his hair, feeling
24:35
Speaker 1: somehow that Madison was making her into something better. He
24:38
Speaker 1: was pushing her and challenging her and growing her and
24:41
Speaker 1: building her not always. She paused, searching for the best
24:46
Speaker 1: way to explain the father. I didn't see him again
24:51
Speaker 1: after you, so we didn't become family. Madison scrunched up
24:56
Speaker 1: his nose at this, and she knew he was trying
24:58
Speaker 1: to reconcile that with all he pieced together from stories
25:01
Speaker 1: about the makeup of families. But if I'm family, he conceded,
25:08
Speaker 1: his voice, suggesting that in his mind this was a stretch.
25:11
Speaker 1: Then wouldn't they know that hurting you would hurt me?
25:15
Speaker 1: They thought they were doing what was best for you,
25:18
Speaker 1: protecting you. Tilda never imagined she'd be defending Aaron and
25:22
Speaker 1: Darla Delane to her son. But they weren't, Madison stated conclusively,
25:30
Speaker 1: wiping out his nose. Adults have this same for the
25:35
Speaker 1: greater good. Tilda wiped a tear from his cheek. His
25:38
Speaker 1: face was still cold. It means that sometimes you do
25:42
Speaker 1: something you don't like because it'll be better for everyone.
25:46
Speaker 1: Madison shook his head. But they were doing what was
25:49
Speaker 1: best for them, what they wanted. Tilda couldn't argue that point,
25:54
Speaker 1: or at least she had very little desire to why
25:59
Speaker 1: my father leave? The question was like a draft of
26:03
Speaker 1: particularly chilly air til to imagine she could feel her
26:06
Speaker 1: skin pimpling with goosebumps and the hair raising on the
26:09
Speaker 1: back of her neck. Because he didn't know I was
26:12
Speaker 1: pregnant with you, and he'd done a bad thing, bad thing,
26:20
Speaker 1: he broke the law. They were entering treacherous territory, now territory,
26:24
Speaker 1: Tilda desperately wanted to get out of She tried to
26:27
Speaker 1: preempt any further questions with He broke the law and
26:31
Speaker 1: he was scared, so he ran away. Madison watched her
26:36
Speaker 1: intently for a second. It was all Tilda could do
26:39
Speaker 1: not to shrink away. How do you break the law?
26:44
Speaker 1: The state doesn't want you to do anything that might
26:47
Speaker 1: cause you to get HSV five without giving herself the
26:51
Speaker 1: best chances of having a baby. Since there are so
26:55
Speaker 1: few of us left, was it time to have the
26:58
Speaker 1: sex talk? She thought, laughing aloud in semi hysteria. He
27:03
Speaker 1: did it anyway, Madison asked, a seriousness unsuited for his
27:07
Speaker 1: young face, painting his features. Tilda nodded, throped dry. Why
27:14
Speaker 1: Tilda had really hoped he wouldn't ask that very question
27:18
Speaker 1: ran circles around her brain at night, keeping her awake.
27:21
Speaker 1: Even though she knew the answer, It gave her no comfort.
27:25
Speaker 1: It made her feel even more helpless, worthless, like a
27:28
Speaker 1: thing to be used and discarded and forgot. She opened
27:32
Speaker 1: her mouth to answer, but then closed it with a click.
27:35
Speaker 1: Madison waited patiently. Sometimes Tilda thought their relationship lived in
27:40
Speaker 1: the silence as they shared. He wanted to feel in control,
27:49
Speaker 1: to feel powerful. She tried. Haltingly, Maison mouthed the word powerful.
27:56
Speaker 1: It takes two people to make a baby. I didn't
27:59
Speaker 1: want to and he did. As soon as the words
28:03
Speaker 1: left her lips, she wanted to take them back. You
28:06
Speaker 1: didn't want to. No, I knew it was against the law,
28:11
Speaker 1: and we never really met before. Most people want to
28:15
Speaker 1: have a baby with someone they know, someone they trust.
28:20
Speaker 1: Her voice cracked, and to her shocked, tears leaked past
28:23
Speaker 1: her own eyes A bitdden. Now she was the one
28:26
Speaker 1: crying with a shaky breast, she finished with someone you trust.
28:31
Speaker 1: Wide green eyes studied her. She felt to wor gain control.
28:35
Speaker 1: So he hurt you, he asked, sounding so so small. Yeah, yeah,
28:41
Speaker 1: he did, till his chest felt tight, her face uncomfortably hot.
28:48
Speaker 1: A long beat passed, and that made him feel powerful
28:54
Speaker 1: to hurt someone else. Yes, but Madison broke off, not
29:02
Speaker 1: able to articulate his confusion. At this, My dad, he said,
29:08
Speaker 1: the moniker with distaste is bad, a bad person. He
29:15
Speaker 1: posed the question, miserably, hoping her answer would be no.
29:19
Speaker 1: Tilda knew he must be clinging to the shreds of
29:21
Speaker 1: the image he'd created and fostered for years of what
29:24
Speaker 1: his family must be he did a bad thing. I
29:29
Speaker 1: didn't know him well. I can't say he's bad. All
29:34
Speaker 1: I can say is he did a bad thing. Maybe
29:37
Speaker 1: he feels bad for it. The watery explanation was insubstantial
29:42
Speaker 1: at best, and possibly severely damaging at worst, but Tilda
29:45
Speaker 1: could think of nothing else to add. She felt a
29:48
Speaker 1: tiredness now that had nothing to do with the aching
29:50
Speaker 1: in her bones or the lack of food. She stared
29:55
Speaker 1: forward blankly, her mind in a quiet turmoil. She jumped
29:58
Speaker 1: badly when Madison his head in her lap. Robotically, without thought,
30:03
Speaker 1: she started stroking his matted hair, vaguely and rather ridiculously,
30:07
Speaker 1: wondering if she could find some scissors to cut it,
30:10
Speaker 1: and the air clippers and a whole host of other
30:12
Speaker 1: things to distract her from the yawning agony raging inside her.
30:16
Speaker 1: Hungry and eager, they both succumbed to the silence that
30:20
Speaker 1: had been encroaching, not so much washing over them as
30:24
Speaker 1: flooding over them, crushing with the weight of all that
30:27
Speaker 1: they had talked about. She and Madison often did this
30:31
Speaker 1: when they had little food or water, when the elements
30:34
Speaker 1: racked their starved and exhausted bodies and they could find
30:37
Speaker 1: no shelter, sat still, quiet, shutting down to preserve in
30:41
Speaker 1: their teeth. For hours, They'd play statues, thinking nothing, being nothing,
30:47
Speaker 1: until one of them took a deep, gasping breath, as
30:50
Speaker 1: though emerging from water, gulping life giving oxygen, and moved again.
30:56
Speaker 1: But this time it was not dehydration or starvation that
30:59
Speaker 1: paralyzed them in a hibernation state, but the darkness of
31:02
Speaker 1: the world around them, the uncertainty of what lay ahead.
31:07
Speaker 1: Tilda was the first to emerge after an indeterminate amount
31:10
Speaker 1: of time had passed, Feeling like she had emerged from
31:13
Speaker 1: a deep sleep absence of dreams. She blinked slowly a
31:18
Speaker 1: small eternity of darkness each time, her breath reedy and wispy,
31:22
Speaker 1: like the flame of a candle and a breezy night. Carefully,
31:26
Speaker 1: she placed a hand on each of Madison's temples, lifting
31:30
Speaker 1: his head and laying it back down on the cushion
31:32
Speaker 1: after she scooted it out from underneath. His eyes were
31:35
Speaker 1: open but glassy. Unseen, Tilda stretched, trying to keep the
31:41
Speaker 1: gnawing fear at bay. Would it never end? Would they
31:45
Speaker 1: always be on the run, always starving and cold and
31:48
Speaker 1: tired and thirsty, and never knowing was there no future
31:54
Speaker 1: for them outside of surviving the next moment. Tilda shoved
31:59
Speaker 1: those thoughts away. She was close enough to shattering without
32:02
Speaker 1: giving them voice. She could feel them in her blood,
32:05
Speaker 1: in her heart, pumping through her veins, to various body parts,
32:09
Speaker 1: to her brain and her fingers and shoulders. They were
32:13
Speaker 1: part of her, and dwelling on it didn't help. She
32:17
Speaker 1: moved through the room without purpose, flipping through magazines, eyeing thins,
32:21
Speaker 1: smiling cover models and their perfect skin and their perfect hair,
32:25
Speaker 1: with an odd mix of nostalgic pity, to think how
32:29
Speaker 1: obsessed people used to be about being thin, how worried
32:32
Speaker 1: about their appearance. She looked at clothes with numbers next
32:36
Speaker 1: to them, prices that were now meaningless, beauty tips as
32:40
Speaker 1: for perfume and watches, and things that meant nothing now,
32:44
Speaker 1: recipes that promised weight loss with little effort, the pictures
32:48
Speaker 1: making her mouth water. Tilda laughed and quiet disbelief at
32:52
Speaker 1: the sex tips, the sheer number of them, pregnancy prevention,
32:57
Speaker 1: all the letters to the editor about significant others leaving
33:00
Speaker 1: out the dishes or gossiping or asking for advice about
33:04
Speaker 1: how to approach a crush, The answer almost always some
33:08
Speaker 1: convoluted thing that at its essence was communication. What the
33:13
Speaker 1: hell is a beach body, Tilda thought, wondering at all
33:16
Speaker 1: the aspects of a life lost now archaic. There were
33:21
Speaker 1: some books on the nightstand, most of them about hiking,
33:25
Speaker 1: but a few that looked to be mysteries. One cookbook
33:28
Speaker 1: Tilda pushed away, regretfully, knowing it would only make the
33:31
Speaker 1: aching in her stomach all that much worse. She meandered
33:35
Speaker 1: back to the bathroom, opening the drawers once again and
33:37
Speaker 1: finding nothing. Then she checked the medicine cabinet and found
33:42
Speaker 1: one thing she was searching for, nail clippers. Pocketing them
33:46
Speaker 1: in her jeans, she traced her steps back to the kitchen,
33:49
Speaker 1: opening the drawers until she found the utensils, and, along
33:52
Speaker 1: with them, the second item she'd been searching for, scissors,
33:56
Speaker 1: originally intended for meat, but they were going to be
33:59
Speaker 1: repurposed for hair. They were a little dull, bigger than
34:02
Speaker 1: what she'd prefer, but they'd have to do. Maybe she'd
34:06
Speaker 1: let Madison trim her hair. It's not like she was
34:09
Speaker 1: trying to impress anyway, and the way her arms and
34:11
Speaker 1: shoulders felt she didn't much fancy the idea of holding
34:14
Speaker 1: them up in awkward, uncomfortable positions. As she cut her
34:17
Speaker 1: own hair on a whim, she switched on the faucet,
34:20
Speaker 1: but of course no water came out. Tilda backtracked to
34:24
Speaker 1: the bathroom, closing the toilet seat and lowering herself onto it,
34:28
Speaker 1: starting the process of clipping her nails with careful detachment.
34:32
Speaker 1: Her hands were shaking, still weak, she stared at the
34:35
Speaker 1: dirt pressed underneath the hard, translucent nails, gritted and blood
34:39
Speaker 1: blackened with age. Her fingers were bruised and blistered and scarred.
34:43
Speaker 1: A map of her past, she cataloged the number, but
34:47
Speaker 1: she had no memory of the origins of most of them.
34:49
Speaker 1: This life came with physical evidence of the hardship of
34:52
Speaker 1: surviving it. She could feel the sores on her face
34:55
Speaker 1: dry in the cold. She focused on the pain of
34:57
Speaker 1: cutting her nails, using it to anger her. She thought
35:00
Speaker 1: now about her original plant to return home to see
35:03
Speaker 1: her parents after the chaos in DC. She thought maybe
35:07
Speaker 1: everyone would be too busy to care much about her
35:09
Speaker 1: and Madison, but now that seemed quite unlikely. Even Madison
35:13
Speaker 1: was worried about those that might be pursuing them, but
35:17
Speaker 1: she wanted so badly to see them again. In truth,
35:20
Speaker 1: she could barely picture her mother's face or remember the
35:23
Speaker 1: sound of her father's voice. She was tired of being
35:26
Speaker 1: the one who had to answer questions that had no
35:29
Speaker 1: good answers, who was supposed to know, who was supposed
35:32
Speaker 1: to decide, of being responsible for another person's life when
35:36
Speaker 1: the world was dying. Blood welled under her thumb when
35:40
Speaker 1: she cut too close to the skin. She watched it
35:43
Speaker 1: dark red, staining, bruised and purple dappled white, not bothering
35:48
Speaker 1: to clean it or attempt to stop it from bleeding,
35:50
Speaker 1: She took care of the rest of her nails. Then
35:53
Speaker 1: she removed her socks blankly, taking in modeled feet a
35:56
Speaker 1: splotched with purple red and black hues, her toes a
35:59
Speaker 1: garish black. Underneath the nails, she trimmed them down, already
36:03
Speaker 1: relishing the lack of pain caused by them jamming against
36:06
Speaker 1: the front of her boots. Each nail took some force
36:09
Speaker 1: thicker than the coverings of her fingers, and sent a
36:12
Speaker 1: small thrill of pain racing through each toe. She thought
36:15
Speaker 1: back to the magazine she'd flipped through, and the nails
36:17
Speaker 1: of bright oranges and pinks. When she next looked up,
36:21
Speaker 1: Madison stood in the doorway, arms crossed tightly over his torso,
36:24
Speaker 1: watching her fretfully. His eyes strayed to the blood. She stood,
36:29
Speaker 1: gesturing for him to take the spot she'd just vacated.
36:32
Speaker 1: He did so, eyeing her almost suspiciously. Tilda held out
36:36
Speaker 1: her hand and he reluctantly placed his in it gently,
36:39
Speaker 1: much more carefully than she'd been with herself. She clipped
36:42
Speaker 1: his nails. He did not have as much dirt packed underneath,
36:45
Speaker 1: nor did he have all the scars and cowuses decorating
36:48
Speaker 1: his hands, but there were beginnings. She traced an ugly
36:53
Speaker 1: cut on the inside of his pinky delicately. Madison regarded her,
36:57
Speaker 1: his face painfully open, always tried to make sense of her,
37:00
Speaker 1: to read her like a book, pinpoint her motivations. Tilda
37:04
Speaker 1: finished one bird like hand, and then another, drawing no blood.
37:08
Speaker 1: She admired her handiwork for a moment, then tugged off
37:11
Speaker 1: his socks, drawing a small sound of protest from him,
37:14
Speaker 1: and started in on his toenails. Blacketted and rough as well,
37:18
Speaker 1: she worked diligently, taking her time. When she was finished,
37:22
Speaker 1: she slid the wooly socks back onto tiny feet and
37:25
Speaker 1: placed the clippers on the immaculately white countertop next to
37:28
Speaker 1: the sink. Taking up the scissors, Madison sighed, accepting but wary.
37:33
Speaker 1: She reached up for a comb and a cup next
37:35
Speaker 1: to the sink and ran it gingerly through his mousy
37:37
Speaker 1: brown hair, grinning at the annoyed twist of his features.
37:41
Speaker 1: It took several tries and some finesse to work the
37:44
Speaker 1: mats out of his hair, tiny twigs and bits of
37:46
Speaker 1: leaves and dirt falling to the floor. Using the comb,
37:50
Speaker 1: she pulled his hair toot and started snipping away, taking
37:53
Speaker 1: a little over an inch that ended in frizzy split ends.
37:57
Speaker 1: She took her time, appreciating the simplicity of doing something
38:00
Speaker 1: with tangible results. She worked her way around his head,
38:04
Speaker 1: locks of hair floating to the tile. Madison sat still
38:07
Speaker 1: as Tilda maneuvered into better positions and angles. She ran
38:11
Speaker 1: the comb through, taking care of any unevenness the best
38:14
Speaker 1: she could. Madison sneezed, itching at his face. Tilda dusted
38:19
Speaker 1: off the locks of hair from his shoulder and his
38:21
Speaker 1: back and admired her handiwork. With shorter hair, Madison looked
38:25
Speaker 1: even younger. Without a word, she handed him the scissors
38:29
Speaker 1: handle first, and patted him gently on the back, indicating
38:33
Speaker 1: for him to get up. They switched positions, Madison standing
38:36
Speaker 1: before her, the scissors clutched in his hands, inquisitiveness and
38:40
Speaker 1: apprehension on his face. He'd never cut Tilda's hair before.
38:45
Speaker 1: Tilda yank to come through her hair, wincing at all
38:47
Speaker 1: the tangles, all the bits shy leaves itching at the
38:50
Speaker 1: back of her neck. After she was satisfied, Tilda gave
38:53
Speaker 1: Madison an encouraging smile, and Madison's shoulders relaxed the tiniest
38:57
Speaker 1: bit with more concentration than the jotion warranted. The child approached,
39:02
Speaker 1: determined to do a good job and give her a
39:04
Speaker 1: good haircut. Tilda almost laughed at the ridiculousness of her
39:07
Speaker 1: son giving her a haircut at a dystopian world, one
39:10
Speaker 1: she'd read about in many novels when she was growing up.
39:13
Speaker 1: In all the books she'd read about the end of civilization,
39:16
Speaker 1: they'd never gone into the details of haircuts or of
39:18
Speaker 1: nails teeth, till suppose that'd be boring. Before HSV five
39:23
Speaker 1: had spread, had slowly and steadily cut their numbers down
39:26
Speaker 1: stripped their civilization and their hope, made clear that extinction
39:30
Speaker 1: was not only a possibility, but an extremely probable one.
39:35
Speaker 1: Authors had indulged in an obsession with the end of
39:38
Speaker 1: the world. Book after a book Tilda consumed painted bleak
39:42
Speaker 1: landscapes and hopeless populations. She wondered if any of those
39:46
Speaker 1: authors had lived to see the beginnings of the things
39:48
Speaker 1: they'd previously only imagined and wrote about. If they think
39:51
Speaker 1: about the reality versus the world they visualized in their
39:54
Speaker 1: mind and shared in pages, how did they compare? Were
39:59
Speaker 1: there any author writing now would there ever be again?
40:03
Speaker 1: And now that the end of the world was here,
40:05
Speaker 1: as boring and coolly slow as it was, what would
40:08
Speaker 1: they write about? Snip, tilta hat and specified a lenk.
40:14
Speaker 1: She just wanted to see what Madison came up with
40:16
Speaker 1: if she left him to his own devices. Judging by
40:18
Speaker 1: the look of blonde hair floating to the floor, he
40:21
Speaker 1: was going to take off quite a bit. Madison worked
40:24
Speaker 1: in silence, mimicking her actions. He pulled her hair taut,
40:28
Speaker 1: working on the top layer and then a bottom layer.
40:31
Speaker 1: Cutting her hair had particular challenges that Madison's did not.
40:34
Speaker 1: It was thicker, and longer, and there was nothing to
40:37
Speaker 1: pin it back. He worked diligently, binding his lip in concentration.
40:42
Speaker 1: More and more blonde glittered the floor one side of
40:45
Speaker 1: her head, feeling lighter and lighter, until he repositioned so
40:48
Speaker 1: he was behind her, tilting her head for gently. As
40:50
Speaker 1: he started to working on the back, bits of hair
40:53
Speaker 1: tickled at her neck and her back as they slipped
40:55
Speaker 1: into her collar. Madison kept reevaluating, comparing links, trying to match.
41:01
Speaker 1: Tilda wanted to tell him that it didn't matter, with
41:03
Speaker 1: the idea of talking seemed incredibly insurmountable. At the moment,
41:08
Speaker 1: Madison darted across her field of vision and to her
41:11
Speaker 1: other side, snipping away. He'd lost some of the care
41:15
Speaker 1: he'd shown in the beginning, the novelty of it wearing off,
41:18
Speaker 1: but still he took his time. Tilda's head felt lighter
41:21
Speaker 1: and lighter until he stepped back with a sigh, tentative
41:24
Speaker 1: awaiting her judgment. She ran her fingers through her hair,
41:28
Speaker 1: running her thumb along the ends, giving Madison a reassuring smile.
41:32
Speaker 1: She hoisted herself up and turned to look in the mirror.
41:36
Speaker 1: He'd cut off a substantial amount so that the longest
41:38
Speaker 1: sections of hair fell just below her shoulders, the shortest
41:42
Speaker 1: just under her chin. It was messy and uneven, not
41:45
Speaker 1: that she was worried about the aesthetics. Utility was the
41:48
Speaker 1: key here. Any chance she had at being keat was
41:52
Speaker 1: undermined by the gauntness of her face, the stark, pale
41:55
Speaker 1: and purple hues, the sores. She wondered if the sowreds
41:58
Speaker 1: would ever become fashion. She'd run across some odd fashions
42:02
Speaker 1: in the history books she'd read. You did a good job,
42:06
Speaker 1: she assured, the child watching with anticipation, breaking the silence
42:09
Speaker 1: that had engulfed them. Thank you. He didn't relax, but
42:12
Speaker 1: jerkily handed her the scissors a passing of the baton.
42:16
Speaker 1: Tilda took them. They were warm from Madison's hands. She
42:20
Speaker 1: placed them on the counter, debating briefly if they should
42:22
Speaker 1: clean up the hair, and then deciding that they should,
42:24
Speaker 1: if only in case someone else discovered the cabin or
42:27
Speaker 1: they had to make a quick getaway. She didn't want
42:30
Speaker 1: to leave any obvious evidence of their presences and indicators
42:33
Speaker 1: of who they were. Tilda patted Madison on the head.
42:37
Speaker 1: She fetched a broom. She remembered seeing from the holloway
42:39
Speaker 1: closet when she'd grabbed the comforter from there earlier and
42:42
Speaker 1: returned to the bathroom. Madison, still standing up where she'd
42:45
Speaker 1: left him, He halfed to awigy when she workelessly began
42:48
Speaker 1: sweeping around his feet. Once she swept all the hair
42:51
Speaker 1: into a manageable pile, she popped up the handle attachment,
42:54
Speaker 1: knelt down and swept the hair up, dumping it in
42:56
Speaker 1: a trash can. After a momentary pause, she came to
42:59
Speaker 1: the decision to empty the bent outsides of birds could
43:02
Speaker 1: use it to make nest and the wind could disperse
43:04
Speaker 1: their strands of hair throughout the forest. Now that those
43:08
Speaker 1: mundane and oddly domestic tasks were out of the way,
43:11
Speaker 1: what were they to do? In Tilda's mind, they needed
43:14
Speaker 1: another day to recover before they braid the outdoors again,
43:17
Speaker 1: but food wise, they didn't have the option of lingering.
43:19
Speaker 1: More than that, Tilda thought back to the selection of
43:22
Speaker 1: bows and arrows behind the counter at one of the
43:24
Speaker 1: camping stores they'd passed when they first entered the woods.
43:28
Speaker 1: She toyed with picking one of them up at the time,
43:30
Speaker 1: but apart from having very little experience with shooting, them.
43:33
Speaker 1: She deemed it too cumbersome to carry for long distances,
43:37
Speaker 1: but now well, perhaps she'd have to teach herself. She
43:42
Speaker 1: imagined much of the prepackaged and canned food supply that
43:45
Speaker 1: remained must be dwindling. Soon they'd have to hunt. If
43:49
Speaker 1: they could find a secluded place to settle down, then
43:51
Speaker 1: they could grow food too. Til didn't know much in
43:54
Speaker 1: the way of gardening, but her mother had tended a
43:57
Speaker 1: garden and imparted some of her knowledge to Tilda had
44:00
Speaker 1: gleaned from observing others. But the only areas secluded enough
44:04
Speaker 1: for Tilda to feel safe and their settling down would
44:06
Speaker 1: be up in the cold Appalachian mountains or in the Midwest.
44:11
Speaker 1: Maybe it was time to start considering those options seriously.
44:15
Speaker 1: She recalled Lynde's words and recognized the truth in them.
44:19
Speaker 1: They couldn't go on as they had been for much longer,
44:22
Speaker 1: now that Madison had been immunized with the vaccine, and
44:25
Speaker 1: with the state in turmoil, perhaps they could pass beyond
44:28
Speaker 1: the clutches of enforcers and find somewhere to call home.
44:32
Speaker 1: In that case, heading south to see her parents seemed
44:35
Speaker 1: incredibly foolish, but with winter already upon them, escaping the
44:39
Speaker 1: worst of the cold was a necessity. All these thoughts
44:43
Speaker 1: tumbled around Tilda's head as she headed to the back
44:45
Speaker 1: door at the end of the hallway to empty the bin.
44:48
Speaker 1: She twisted the dead bolt. The door whined as she
44:51
Speaker 1: opened it, a blast of cold immediately assaulting her. Shivering,
44:55
Speaker 1: she leaned as far as she could at the door
44:58
Speaker 1: without stepping out, and turn learned at the bin the
45:01
Speaker 1: locks of hair drifting in the gentle breeze, falling and
45:04
Speaker 1: getting caught in the draft that elevated them again. A
45:07
Speaker 1: sudden gust up wind sent them buffeting north to Tilbo's
45:10
Speaker 1: right until the cult sight of something she hadn't seen
45:13
Speaker 1: in a long time, a generator. And that brings us
45:38
Speaker 1: to the end of the second chapter of the second
45:42
Speaker 1: part of Terminus. I do find it funny once again,
45:46
Speaker 1: the last of us had not come out yet, and
45:50
Speaker 1: this is quite comical at this point for me reading this,
45:53
Speaker 1: I did find it funny. There's a whole thing about generators.
45:56
Speaker 1: Finding a generator that is such a big trope in
45:59
Speaker 1: horror video games. You find the generator of the new
46:04
Speaker 1: started and in all the zombies here written of course
46:07
Speaker 1: towards you so it's like, what are you gonna do? Oh,
46:09
Speaker 1: you got to weigh your dangers here. Also, just a
46:14
Speaker 1: quick note, as I said, this is for me interesting
46:19
Speaker 1: to look back on because I had just come out
46:21
Speaker 1: of college when I wrote this, and just what I
46:25
Speaker 1: was thinking about when I wrote this is interesting to me.
46:30
Speaker 1: There is a pretty intense section where they discuss sexual
46:38
Speaker 1: assault in this one. It doesn't necessarily reflect my own thoughts.
46:42
Speaker 1: I think it's it's interesting to read it now. I
46:47
Speaker 1: don't think she's wrong necessarily. I just think it's interesting.
46:50
Speaker 1: She's clearly still processing a lot of stuff, which I
46:53
Speaker 1: probably wants to at that time. And I do think
46:58
Speaker 1: it's it's more complicated to talk about than some people think,
47:01
Speaker 1: especially people who have never been through it. But uh,
47:04
Speaker 1: I don't know. I had forgotten that that was in here,
47:08
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, but just to say, please
47:14
Speaker 1: don't find this as prescriptive. She's not in a good place.
47:19
Speaker 1: I don't think what she's saying is horrible at all.
47:21
Speaker 1: I'm just saying she is still processing good Yeah. Yeah,
47:28
Speaker 1: because I've gotten comments about that in fan fiction before,
47:31
Speaker 1: where they're like, this isn't the healthiest behavior, and I like,
47:34
Speaker 1: I know that it wouldn't be like entertaining and or great. Right.
47:45
Speaker 1: It's a good point to know, but it's also like
47:48
Speaker 1: I hope you know I don't, but it's also sometimes
47:53
Speaker 1: people don't know that. So anyway, I'm putting the note
47:56
Speaker 1: at the end of this that I know, yes, yes,
48:01
Speaker 1: but I do hope that you're enjoying this. Listeners, We
48:03
Speaker 1: do enjoy doing them, and as always, if you have
48:05
Speaker 1: a suggestion for something in the public domain, we could
48:09
Speaker 1: do that's in this realm. We would love to do it.
48:12
Speaker 1: Of course, it is a bigger lift, so we have
48:14
Speaker 1: to give a runway for our magician Christina, but we
48:19
Speaker 1: do love to do it, so let us know. You
48:23
Speaker 1: can email us a Stephanie and moms Stuff at iHeartMedia
48:25
Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom
48:27
Speaker 1: Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at Steffon'll Never
48:29
Speaker 1: Told You. We have a tea public store and a book. Yes, thanks,
48:35
Speaker 1: it's always too our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya,
48:39
Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you
48:41
Speaker 1: for listening. Stuff I'll Never Told You is production by
48:43
Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast from my heart Radio. You
48:45
Speaker 1: can check out the heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or
48:47
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.