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Transcript

From Victim to Victory · Pastor Plek's Podcast

0:05
SPEAKER_05: And welcome back to Pastor Plex Podcast.
0:09
SPEAKER_05: I'm your host, Pastor Plek.
0:11
SPEAKER_05: And joining me today is none other than Lydia Vadez.
0:16
SPEAKER_05: I am so glad that you are here.
0:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you for inviting me.
0:20
SPEAKER_05: All right.
0:21
SPEAKER_05: So you've been at our church now for how long?
0:25
SPEAKER_05: I think two years.
0:26
SPEAKER_05: Two years.
0:28
SPEAKER_05: I think it's been longer than that.
0:30
SPEAKER_05: Longer, yeah.
0:30
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's been a while.
0:31
SPEAKER_05: All right.
0:31
SPEAKER_05: So I first heard of you through um one of our staff members, Melanie McLamore, who was doing apartment life at the apartment I think that you were living in.
0:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
0:41
SPEAKER_05: And uh, and so tell me about what your life was like at that moment in time.
0:46
SPEAKER_05: A mess.
0:47
SPEAKER_05: Tell me about it.
0:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Uh I guess I was helping everybody else.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
0:55
SPEAKER_00: And trying to get everybody else to go to God.
0:58
SPEAKER_00: But in reality, I wasn't going to God.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: I don't know how to explain that.
1:02
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:02
SPEAKER_05: Like, why is that?
1:03
SPEAKER_05: Why do you think you were like helping everybody else but not helping yourself?
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Because I wanted everybody else to realize that there is a good person in this world, and that was God.
1:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: You know?
1:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: I knew, okay, let me correct that.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: I knew the name Jesus, but I didn't know who Jesus really was.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: Right.
1:22
SPEAKER_00: You know?
1:23
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, when you get caught up with the world that you forget that he's there.
1:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: But everybody else was hurting around me, which is like strangers and you know, uh friends or people that I just crossed paths with, but I was willing to wanted to help them.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Instead of knowing knowing that inside of me, I was broken.
1:46
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
1:47
SPEAKER_05: What was that?
1:48
SPEAKER_05: What tell me about the way you grew up?
1:49
SPEAKER_05: Where did you grow up at?
1:50
SPEAKER_00: I grew up actually in the valley.
1:52
SPEAKER_00: Okay, like McAllen area or actually in Santa Rosa.
1:56
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: And uh my childhood was not great.
2:02
SPEAKER_05: What do you mean, not great?
2:03
SPEAKER_05: When people say that they usually give me the most crazy stories, they're like, it wasn't that bad, it wasn't great.
2:09
SPEAKER_05: But like, so tell me what happened.
2:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Uh okay, my mom and dad were amazing.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: Uh my mom had 12 kids.
2:23
SPEAKER_05: What?
2:24
SPEAKER_05: 12 kids?
2:26
SPEAKER_05: What number are you?
2:27
SPEAKER_00: Uh 11.
2:29
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
2:30
SPEAKER_00: So uh okay, hold on.
2:38
SPEAKER_00: I get emotional because I who wants to go back, you know?
2:43
SPEAKER_00: My mom did her best.
2:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, just imagine 12 kids and trying to make sure they all eat, make trying to make sure they're all clothed.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: Trying to make sure that, you know, back then, you know, they didn't have the help what they have now, you know.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: Uh uh growing up with my siblings, I think I got more abuse with my siblings.
3:06
SPEAKER_05: How so?
3:09
SPEAKER_05: Like physical abuse?
3:11
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
3:12
SPEAKER_05: Like they punch you.
3:17
SPEAKER_00: I don't even I haven't even talked to this.
3:19
SPEAKER_00: I haven't even mentioned any of this to nobody.
3:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:23
SPEAKER_00: Only God, you know.
3:25
SPEAKER_00: But my parents, my dad never saw it because he was always working.
3:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:33
SPEAKER_00: And my mom kind of knew what was going on, but she was exhausted.
3:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, she was just like, okay, just brother and sisters just dealing with drama, just you know.
3:46
SPEAKER_00: I don't think she knew exactly how I was feeling.
3:53
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and when when you say you got hit, like they punch you, like give me like that, because I I have four boys, they're wrestling all the time.
3:59
SPEAKER_05: Uh, tell me about like what took it from okay, that was just kids being kids, to like the next level.
4:06
SPEAKER_00: Um in my household, I mean, we didn't grow up, you know, um knowing about Jesus, you know.
4:17
SPEAKER_00: Uh I think growing up is knowing how to survive, honestly.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: Um my siblings from one time, um oh my goodness.
4:27
SPEAKER_00: Um it just was just me.
4:29
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't no no other sibling, but just me.
4:32
SPEAKER_05: Was it because you're the smallest?
4:33
SPEAKER_05: Because you're the what do you think it was?
4:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: I think I I to this day I really never understood why on and why was it only me that would always get beat up every day from school?
4:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I had one sister that oh my goodness, that the only way I can eat was to go to school and steal.
5:01
SPEAKER_00: Not steal food, but I had to steal jewelry.
5:06
SPEAKER_05: How did you what did you do with the jewelry?
5:08
SPEAKER_00: Give it to her.
5:08
SPEAKER_05: Oh, you gave it to your sister?
5:09
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:10
SPEAKER_05: And she said if you don't get me some jewelry, I will get beat up.
5:14
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
5:15
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, I didn't want to steal.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: Right.
5:19
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I knew it was wrong, but uh I mean you'll be surprised.
5:24
SPEAKER_00: I mean, every single finger of her had a ring.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: I I'm not gonna lie.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: Like it was to the porn, like how much older was she than you?
5:33
SPEAKER_00: Um I was nine.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: And she was like 22.
5:43
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: So she wanted you to steal from other kids at school so she could get jewelry for herself at 22?
5:50
SPEAKER_05: Yeah and she was still living at home.
5:53
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
5:54
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I that was for a while.
5:56
SPEAKER_00: I mean, until um I mean, when I say I got beat up, I had my ear purple.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: I mean, my back.
6:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, my legs.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: But my parents never knew about it because they would always give me a sweater, and and after before my dad would get home, they'll be like, oh, you know, don't worry, you know, here, you know, why don't you have this?
6:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, they were nicer to me.
6:19
SPEAKER_02: Right.
6:19
SPEAKER_00: But as soon as my dad would leave and my mom would, you know, do everything else, it's when everything was starting.
6:24
SPEAKER_00: It was an everyday thing.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: I think all the way until I was like 14 years old.
6:28
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
6:29
SPEAKER_00: You know?
6:30
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
6:30
SPEAKER_05: So like your older sister is like when you were four, thirteen, she would have been like in her like 30 about.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: She was old.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: They were older.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: All of them were older.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
6:39
SPEAKER_00: But I just didn't know why they had so much hate towards me.
6:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I have a twin brother, he passed away.
6:44
SPEAKER_05: Oh no.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Uh when I was little.
6:46
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: And I still remember that.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, um how old was he?
6:50
SPEAKER_00: Uh two.
6:51
SPEAKER_05: Oh gosh.
6:52
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm.
6:53
SPEAKER_00: Two years old.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: And I remember them blaming me for it like all the way through.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm talking about every year that it was my fault.
7:02
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
7:03
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so what happens once they, I guess you get stop getting abused at 14.
7:07
SPEAKER_05: What was it?
7:08
SPEAKER_05: What made the difference?
7:09
SPEAKER_00: So when one day at school, one of the one of the principals saw my ear and she'd asked me what happened.
7:16
SPEAKER_00: And I would always be so sort of I would be so honest all the time.
7:19
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh, my sister hit me.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, what do you mean?
7:22
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh yeah.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: And I picked up my shirt.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, yeah, she hit me right here.
7:25
SPEAKER_00: My other sister did.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And then she's like, oh my goodness.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: And I guess like the reaction of their face, I knew it was wrong.
7:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: Because I saw their faces and they were like, So what did your mom do?
7:35
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, nothing.
7:36
SPEAKER_00: You know?
7:37
SPEAKER_00: And I think it stopped honestly, um, uh when they got involved.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: The school got involved and CPS got involved.
7:45
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: You know?
7:47
SPEAKER_00: And I think it actually really stopped one day when I was playing.
7:50
SPEAKER_00: My dad told me, hey, come here.
7:52
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, what?
7:53
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, um, um, I want I want you to know about in Spanish, you know, Jesus.
8:00
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, but I want to go play.
8:02
SPEAKER_00: And I remember him having this yellow little track.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: Um, it wasn't a Bible, it was like a story.
8:07
SPEAKER_05: Like a pamphlet?
8:09
SPEAKER_00: No, it was like a book.
8:10
SPEAKER_05: A book, uh-huh.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: But it was yellow.
8:11
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
8:11
SPEAKER_00: And it had the stories of like the story of Jesus in the water and stuff like that.
8:16
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
8:16
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's a uh a children's Bible.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but it was in Spanish, you know.
8:21
SPEAKER_00: I said I wanted to play, and he's like, but he's a good man.
8:24
SPEAKER_00: I want you to un I want you to know him.
8:26
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, but I want to play.
8:27
SPEAKER_00: He goes, okay, go ahead and play.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Ever since then, I mean, I heard and I I heard the word, I heard the name Jesus, but I didn't know who Jesus was.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: All I knew he was a good man.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: So one time I remember uh they had left me outside, you know, my my siblings, and they locked the door.
8:45
SPEAKER_00: And I I slept outside.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: And uh my dad was wide awake early in the morning, and I was playing outside by myself, and my dad asked me, like, what are you doing out here?
8:55
SPEAKER_00: And I told him, I'm like, they locked me outside.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Who did?
8:58
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I couldn't say who because I mean I didn't know who locked it.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, you know, he went inside and I remember grabbing he grabbing me for my hand and then opened the door and telling my mom, I better ever I better not ever see her out here.
9:11
SPEAKER_00: You know, I guess because I guess it wasn't safe, you know?
9:14
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I remember um uh when he did that, when my dad did that, a week later I went up to him and I told him, I'm like, I need to talk to you.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, What happened?
9:25
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, it's because I don't want to steal no more.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, What do you mean?
9:28
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I don't want to get I don't want to steal.
9:30
SPEAKER_00: He goes, What are you talking about?
9:32
SPEAKER_00: I told him in Spanish, I'm like, it's because they make me steal.
9:35
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Who makes you steal?
9:36
SPEAKER_00: And I told him the names.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: He's like, Why?
9:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Because if I don't steal, I get beat up every day.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: He goes, What do you mean you get beat up?
9:43
SPEAKER_00: So my dad never knew.
9:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, never knew about one single thing.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
9:46
SPEAKER_00: You know?
9:46
SPEAKER_00: And my daddy, my mom didn't know about the bruises.
9:49
SPEAKER_00: All my mom knew that I was, they would always try to pick on me.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I showed him my my back and my legs.
9:56
SPEAKER_00: He's and my dad was terrified.
9:58
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Who's been doing this to you?
10:00
SPEAKER_00: And I told him the name, and he goes, What do you mean?
10:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Yeah, I get beat up me myself, and it's like, you know, five siblings against myself, you know.
10:07
SPEAKER_00: Like just kick me and you know.
10:10
SPEAKER_00: And um, and then that's when he like, this is gonna stop.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: And then he wouldn't go talk to my siblings.
10:15
SPEAKER_00: He was like, You all wanna fight with her?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: I mean, if it wasn't for my dad, I would still got beaten up, honestly.
10:20
SPEAKER_00: Like literally.
10:21
SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm talking about, and I remember one time I lay down in the in the garage.
10:25
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't a garage, but it was like a farm area.
10:28
SPEAKER_00: And I went in there and I laid down and I told Jesus, I'm like, Jesus, if you if you I'm like, I don't know anything about you, I'll go, but Jesus, I'll go, but I really need to get out of this area.
10:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, I need you to help me.
10:40
SPEAKER_00: And that's all I remember.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: That's it.
10:42
SPEAKER_00: From there then is when, you know, the doors opened for me, where I moved from there to to San Marcus.
10:50
SPEAKER_00: And a family um down there knew knew my story and um wanted to do anything to help me, like just to put me on the bus and leave me from there.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: So, how old were you?
11:02
SPEAKER_00: I lived when I was like, what, uh 18.
11:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh, wow.
11:05
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
11:05
SPEAKER_05: So you're 18, you moved to San Marcus.
11:07
SPEAKER_05: And what are you gonna do in San Marcus?
11:09
SPEAKER_00: I went to Job Corps, you know, and uh at first it was scary.
11:14
SPEAKER_05: Why was it scary?
11:17
SPEAKER_05: I have no idea.
11:17
SPEAKER_05: I don't know Job Corps.
11:19
SPEAKER_00: Because I've never seen a black person in my life.
11:22
SPEAKER_00: Really?
11:22
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: And not because I was scared because of them, it's because they one of them cussed me out and I was just staring, and she was so pretty, she had like really pretty long, you know, um, her hair was fixed really pretty, and she had really pretty long earrings, and I've never seen long earrings before.
11:36
SPEAKER_00: Remember, I lived in the farm.
11:38
SPEAKER_00: I was like hot to everything.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: I was like, wasn't socialised out of the world.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.
11:44
SPEAKER_05: You know, so that must have been like a shock, culture shock.
11:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: It was it was really, it really was.
11:50
SPEAKER_00: But I met nice people though, but it was still a struggle though, you know, because people were mean, and I called my dad, and my dad told me that just for me to be nice, and it didn't really matter because there are gonna be people that are gonna be mean and kind and just to continue to being me.
12:04
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so then Okay, wow.
12:06
SPEAKER_05: So you're you're doing job core, then what happens?
12:08
SPEAKER_00: And then after that, I met I met my kid's dad.
12:11
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
12:11
SPEAKER_05: Um how'd that go?
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Um, how can I put this?
12:16
SPEAKER_00: I wasn't I guess because he gave me attention.
12:19
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: It was the first time I've ever gotten loved.
12:22
SPEAKER_04: Oh, wow.
12:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, like I knew the word, the meaning of love, like the hug, you know.
12:28
SPEAKER_00: But um it turned out to be um um dramastic.
12:34
SPEAKER_00: Dromastic violence and stuff like that.
12:36
SPEAKER_05: When Oh gosh, so he he would hurt you?
12:39
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
12:40
SPEAKER_05: Like same kind of things.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: I mean, what what I I would always blame myself because I said, I think I took that with me, like always being defensive.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: Like there was I always felt that there was always somebody out there to hurt me, so that's how I grew up.
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Like being defensive with trying to, you know, protect my heart and try to not trust nobody, trying to argue about everything, because I was waiting.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: I was just waiting for him to be like, I'm leaving.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: I was waiting for him to say, you know what, you're not worth it.
13:11
SPEAKER_00: I'm always waiting for him to say.
13:13
SPEAKER_05: Did you guys ever get married, or were you just like in that?
13:16
SPEAKER_00: No.
13:17
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: Uh I mean, to this day, me and me and my kids that have the most amazing relationship.
13:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, we really do, because um, you know, um before all of that, I started going to church and um I'm not trying to jump over.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah um and uh I realized that he wasn't the one for me.
13:42
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
13:42
SPEAKER_05: How that how'd you realize that?
13:44
SPEAKER_00: Because he didn't follow God.
13:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, all right.
13:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, I've God wouldn't put me in a situation where I can beat get beat up or be named, call naming, you know, calling me out of my name.
13:57
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, uh when I said I struggled, like I literally struggled like a lot.
14:07
SPEAKER_00: And I just wish that I can go back time and listen to my dad when he was trying to teach me about Jesus.
14:14
SPEAKER_05: Oh, when he was he sat down with you with the yellow book and you're like, I just want to go play.
14:18
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because you know why though?
14:20
SPEAKER_00: Because life would have been a lot easier, honestly.
14:24
SPEAKER_00: Like when I say easier, like yes, I would have still had my struggles, but I wouldn't have lost so much hair, so much weight, yeah.
14:31
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
14:32
SPEAKER_00: Like so much, you know, like the all of that could have been prevented and and I would have known I would have known how to actually like become a better person, you know, than always uh walking out of the jobs, yeah, you know.
14:49
SPEAKER_05: How old were you when you had your twins?
14:52
SPEAKER_00: Um 30.
15:01
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
15:01
SPEAKER_05: So you're 30 years old.
15:03
SPEAKER_05: You had twin girls and beautiful girls.
15:06
SPEAKER_05: Thank you.
15:07
SPEAKER_05: Um, and so what what was it like?
15:10
SPEAKER_05: Where where were you when you had them?
15:11
SPEAKER_05: Were you in San Marcos or you were here in Austin?
15:13
SPEAKER_00: In Austin.
15:14
SPEAKER_05: And um where were you living?
15:18
SPEAKER_00: Um on Palmer.
15:21
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
15:21
SPEAKER_05: So nearby.
15:22
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
15:22
SPEAKER_05: And uh so what was it like raising your two daughters?
15:27
SPEAKER_05: You don't have uh siblings, but you're doing it alone.
15:31
SPEAKER_05: Was there a sense of I need to get church, I need Jesus, or was it just like that's not a part of my life?
15:36
SPEAKER_05: So how did you fill the void in your heart?
15:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, I already knew I was gonna become a single mom when I got pregnant.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: You know, and but the dad was still with me.
15:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: We were still together, but I already had a gut feeling that I was gonna be a single mom.
15:52
SPEAKER_05: Uh the thought of abortion ever come across?
15:55
SPEAKER_00: Well, because when I got pregnant, um, the doctor had said, Hey, you know, um, do you have anybody that has special needs in your family?
16:02
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh yes, I do.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: So he wanted to make sure that um um that my babies didn't come out uh any kind of special needs or whatever.
16:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:11
SPEAKER_00: So the dad was like, yes, yes, yes, do it, right?
16:14
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I looked at him, right?
16:16
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I cover I covered my my stomach and I said, Okay, so what's the outcome?
16:21
SPEAKER_00: You know?
16:22
SPEAKER_00: And they said, okay, so if we do this, if we do this, you might end up losing one, you might end up losing two, because it's a big old needle.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: It goes into your stomach for them to determine whether they're gonna come out, you know, special needs.
16:36
SPEAKER_05: And you're like, well, then who cares?
16:38
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, well, I said, well, however God gives them to me is how I'm gonna accept them.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: So I said no.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Nice, you know.
16:45
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: But yeah, sure enough, as soon as I had my babies, what, eight months?
16:49
SPEAKER_00: The babies were eight months, I became a single mom.
16:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
16:51
SPEAKER_05: You know, and and but the dad still hung around a little bit, or uh the no, no.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know how you know how that goes.
17:02
SPEAKER_05: I mean, yeah, relationships are hard.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Uh yes, but you know, you know, he went on with his life.
17:06
SPEAKER_00: And did he get married?
17:08
SPEAKER_00: Um, he's with someone right now, uh-huh.
17:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, and um well, this is crazy though.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: Uh I prayed to God.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: Like I prayed all the time, and I told God, send him someone good.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: Send him someone good in his life, God.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he deserves someone good.
17:23
SPEAKER_00: After everything I went through with him, I still pray to God to send him someone good.
17:27
SPEAKER_05: What about for you?
17:28
SPEAKER_05: Do you ever pray that for you?
17:30
SPEAKER_00: Um I told God to send me someone when, okay, I've had my, well, I've not really.
17:38
SPEAKER_00: I can't say I have my share, my shared relationships, because I was actually single all these years.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: Right.
17:44
SPEAKER_00: You know, trying to take care of the girls and making sure that they got out of me as a good mother as always being being there, you know.
17:51
SPEAKER_00: If you become a single mom, it's okay.
17:53
SPEAKER_00: It's not a bad thing.
17:55
SPEAKER_00: You know, if you, you know, I wanted them to I wanted to show them how strong I was.
17:59
SPEAKER_02: Right.
18:00
SPEAKER_00: But I think I showed them more when I got involved with uh with with God.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:04
SPEAKER_00: You know, because um every single day since they were, we prayed, and I told them that I would, and to this day, I still tell them, I go, the day that I'm no longer here, I'm not gonna leave you with money, I'm not gonna leave you with a house, right?
18:19
SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna leave you with anything, but the only thing I want to leave you with is with God in your heart.
18:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: And and they smile at me, right?
18:26
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, because that's more powerful than anything else in this world.
18:30
SPEAKER_05: Amen.
18:31
SPEAKER_00: You know?
18:32
SPEAKER_05: So talk to me about like before you were coming to this church, how were your how were you raising your kids?
18:39
SPEAKER_05: Like you tell tell, you just probably tell them about Jesus and stuff, but how did you deal with the weight and anxiety of life?
18:45
SPEAKER_05: Like, what was your go-to?
18:51
SPEAKER_00: For let me see.
18:58
SPEAKER_00: Both of my daughters uh when they were in the whole COVID happened, uh, they tried to take their own lives.
19:08
SPEAKER_05: Both of them?
19:08
SPEAKER_00: Both.
19:09
SPEAKER_00: First was one, and I found her in the room.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Was this uh like a drug overdose or like a yeah, she got my pink killers and she was trying to take her own life, but you know, and at that time I had COVID.
19:21
SPEAKER_00: And you know how they put you in the room?
19:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:23
SPEAKER_00: Supposedly you're supposed to be in the room.
19:25
SPEAKER_00: And uh my daughter, my other sister, my other daughter told me what was going on, and I went out and I mean that's like the most, I mean, sinus, I mean the most, I mean, your child, you know, you like like did she write a note?
19:38
SPEAKER_05: Did she just no?
19:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I I I would come, I would literally come to the room every day and and ask them if they were okay, everything was good, and they were like, Yes, and with a big old smile.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: Right.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: You know, and um I never knew like mentally that they were going through some things.
20:00
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
20:01
SPEAKER_05: And I think, you know, was a struggle from school or yeah, they were getting bullied, you know, a lot.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: And then they um had lost one of their best friends with suicidal.
20:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh man.
20:13
SPEAKER_00: You know, and she was only at that time, what, um, 13, 14?
20:17
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, 13 years old.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: This is middle school.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know.
20:22
SPEAKER_00: Um and then um I mean, you know, I would talk to them and and I found out that they were getting bullyed from the teachers as well.
20:34
SPEAKER_00: You know?
20:35
SPEAKER_05: Um why would they get bully?
20:36
SPEAKER_05: Like what what is going on that like they're getting like when I think bully, I think like pushed against lockers and stuff.
20:43
SPEAKER_00: What what give me what bullying looks like in because there are twins, they will walk around and they would call them lesbians.
20:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
20:51
SPEAKER_00: And uh uh they will uh make fun of their bodies because they're skinny.
20:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, they're really thick.
20:58
SPEAKER_05: That's cute.
20:59
SPEAKER_05: But that was not okay.
21:00
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't okay at the school, you know.
21:02
SPEAKER_05: That's okay, that's weird.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and then um uh because they were in in special education school, like education classes, that was another thing they were getting bullied of, you know.
21:19
SPEAKER_00: They would call them like, hey you're retarded, hey, you're stupid, hey, you're oh man.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: And they really believed all of that.
21:24
SPEAKER_00: Like literally, they always believed over that.
21:27
SPEAKER_00: I mean, constantly.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: And um not not having the the the dad support or anybody's support, literally.
21:35
SPEAKER_00: It was just me trying to, you know, fight to school and well, not fighting them, but you know, trying to, you know, we're making sure my kids were okay.
21:43
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, kids calling them, you know, um, the N-word lovers.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: I can't say it.
21:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
21:50
SPEAKER_00: The N-word lovers, because they would hang out with a lot of black kids, you know.
21:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was a lot.
21:56
SPEAKER_05: I mean like the the school the school they went to.
22:00
SPEAKER_05: It was super diverse.
22:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was with it was actually Westville.
22:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
22:05
SPEAKER_05: Westville Middle School.
22:06
SPEAKER_05: So but so at a super diverse school, that's where you saw racism at like a a super high level.
22:16
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I never saw it, but just when uh my daughters would tell me, you know, I wouldn't see it, but I mean, because you know, I wasn't in school, you know.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: But when my daughters would tell me what they will be called, and and I believed them because I would I would never use that kind of words inside under underneath my roof.
22:32
SPEAKER_05: Right, right, right, right.
22:33
SPEAKER_00: You know.
22:34
SPEAKER_05: Um Wow, that's crazy.
22:36
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
22:37
SPEAKER_05: So they're they're at Westview, they're they're living their life, they're COVID happens, and in the middle of COVID, they get kind of suicidal.
22:47
SPEAKER_05: Were they having classes online during that time too?
22:50
SPEAKER_05: I'm sorry?
22:50
SPEAKER_05: Were that in the classes like online at that point, or no?
22:55
SPEAKER_00: Um the school didn't really care whether you did your work online or not to be honest with you.
23:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
23:01
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
23:03
SPEAKER_05: That makes sense.
23:04
SPEAKER_05: Okay, gosh.
23:05
SPEAKER_05: It's wild to just think about how crazy that is.
23:09
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
23:10
SPEAKER_05: So then uh at what point does uh one of your your daughters get pregnant?
23:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I decided to move them to schools, right?
23:22
SPEAKER_00: Okay.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: And the reason for that because they were gonna hit high school.
23:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
23:25
SPEAKER_00: And the same girls were gonna go to the same high school.
23:28
SPEAKER_03: Right.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, and the only thing I wanted to do was protect them.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: So I moved, I um transferred schools to Weiss High School.
23:36
SPEAKER_05: Weiss.
23:36
SPEAKER_05: Okay, nice.
23:38
SPEAKER_05: So that's way out there.
23:39
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
23:39
SPEAKER_05: Uh flu girl.
23:40
SPEAKER_05: But I thought you were at Connolly for some reason.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Well, well, that's another story after that.
23:45
SPEAKER_05: Okay, go ahead.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: So the way they went to Weiss High School.
23:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah and um he had met uh I didn't I didn't know he had met this little boy, right?
23:59
SPEAKER_00: And uh the bullying started started again there with Rose.
24:04
SPEAKER_00: It it would always be my Rose, you know and um um I I went to the school.
24:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I got on top of the things, making sure that they got their their therapist, make sure they got everything that they needed, you know.
24:18
SPEAKER_00: And they assured me that they were gonna be good.
24:21
SPEAKER_00: And then um after a couple of months, um, you know, um I don't know about you, Pastor, but now in this generation, I mean, there's everything in all the schools now, which is you know, alcohol, drugs.
24:35
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's easy for everything to go in now.
24:38
SPEAKER_02: Right.
24:38
SPEAKER_00: You know, um, so uh Rose was having trouble with these girls, and they were actually like juni juniors and seniors, which is 11th grade and twelfth grade.
24:50
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I guess they cornered her in the school um and the in the bathroom.
24:57
SPEAKER_00: So Michaela came.
24:59
SPEAKER_00: Michaela Michaela found Michaela came looking for a phone, and Michaela found out that that she was getting bullied in the bathroom.
25:06
SPEAKER_00: So Michaela took it upon herself to go into the room looking for these girls because they've been bullying Rose at that school, and I didn't even know about that either.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: And it's all about boys, you know.
25:17
SPEAKER_05: They're like it's always about boys.
25:18
SPEAKER_05: Some boy likes one girl and she's like, oh, I'll get you for him or whatever.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: If you've seen Rose, Rose is not really social.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: Right.
25:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, so Rose.
25:25
SPEAKER_05: But she's super cute.
25:26
SPEAKER_05: You know, thank you.
25:27
SPEAKER_05: You know, I mean, she's gorgeous, so uh, every guy would probably be interested in her.
25:31
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but she doesn't social, she doesn't talk like she so everybody was trying to, you know, it's poor, I mean, my Rose.
25:37
SPEAKER_00: But um uh Michaela went to the school and then she got in a fight, uh, went up to that girl, and then um and it and it's sad though, because Michaela was going, uh taking college classes there to become a teacher.
25:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:53
SPEAKER_00: And um, and wise took that away from her.
25:56
SPEAKER_00: They they took that away from her, and they had putting her into like an alternative school for fighting.
26:02
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I mean, you'll be surprised what we went through.
26:04
SPEAKER_00: It's like it was very unfair, but it's okay though.
26:08
SPEAKER_05: I mean, okay, so you but then how you eventually end up.
26:11
SPEAKER_00: That's how he she met Aiden.
26:12
SPEAKER_05: Uh in alternative school.
26:14
SPEAKER_00: Yes, well, the back school is what they call it.
26:16
SPEAKER_00: All the kids that get in trouble.
26:18
SPEAKER_00: All the back kids that get in trouble.
26:20
SPEAKER_00: And you know, but they put her on uh, what is it called?
26:24
SPEAKER_00: Hold on.
26:25
SPEAKER_00: It's in school suspension, then they Well First it's inside the classroom.
26:28
SPEAKER_05: Yep.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: You know, like they moved it to a different classroom.
26:30
SPEAKER_00: And Aiden told me that he saw Michaela and uh in there.
26:34
SPEAKER_00: So they they took Michaela and and Rose, you know, uh into this other school the next day.
26:40
SPEAKER_00: They talked to me and I was just overwhelmed already.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: I was tired, I was exhausted.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: I mean, dealing with this for years, yeah, you know, um, and um he got he got in the fight on purpose that day so he can go back to alternative school to talk to Michaela at the Oh my gosh.
26:57
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
26:58
SPEAKER_05: That is wild.
27:00
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so all right, so okay, so that's what happened right there.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: And of course, at first, um uh, you know, of course I'm upset, you know, and and my daughters were like, well, mom, I mean, uh, this is what's going on.
27:14
SPEAKER_00: And I and I believe them though.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the only the only way they're gonna defend themselves if if someone's trying to, you know, because I mean, Michaela told me that the last that she wouldn't she she will never have Rose ever take her life again, uh, ever.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:27
SPEAKER_00: You know, she's gonna do everything that she can, and that's why she did what she did.
27:30
SPEAKER_00: They were bullying her at Y.
27:32
SPEAKER_00: So um she um so Michaela met him there.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: Uh uh and I wasn't allowed, they weren't allowed to date my daughters.
27:42
SPEAKER_05: Okay, like that was your rule.
27:44
SPEAKER_00: That was my rule.
27:45
SPEAKER_00: They weren't allowed to date.
27:46
SPEAKER_05: Did they know this rule?
27:47
SPEAKER_00: Yes, of course.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but they were she was doing it in school, though.
27:50
SPEAKER_05: Right.
27:50
SPEAKER_05: She's like, she like behind your back, like, hey, I'm dating this guy.
27:53
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
27:54
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so how does she end up pregnant?
27:56
SPEAKER_05: Is that like at school?
27:58
SPEAKER_00: What okay, so this is the craziest thing.
28:00
SPEAKER_00: I mean, they tell you now, right?
28:01
SPEAKER_00: Everything that way.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: They tell you all the truth now.
28:04
SPEAKER_00: And um um I told uh I told Michaela, I told the girls, I'm like, I told the dad, hey, I have to go out of town real quick.
28:15
SPEAKER_00: I'll go because of my mom, you know, she was getting sick and I had to go back to go see her.
28:19
SPEAKER_00: And um, and I would tell the dad, hey, do you think you can spend a night and keep an eye on the girls?
28:23
SPEAKER_00: He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: And then I would tell, and then the girls would tell me, Mom, every time you would tell dad to spend a night, he will be drunk on the couch.
28:31
SPEAKER_00: So we would sneak, I would sneak out through the window and Aiden, yeah.
28:36
SPEAKER_05: So Aiden would pick her up.
28:38
SPEAKER_00: Aidan would pick her up Aiden would pick her up, but that's not how she got pregnant.
28:41
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so I met the parents and you know, um, the mom.
28:45
SPEAKER_00: Mom was just super super nice.
28:48
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I I love the parents, super, you know, super great parents.
28:52
SPEAKER_00: And um, she wouldn't um I told them, I said, I'm like, oh, I mean, how can she get pregnant, right?
28:58
SPEAKER_00: I said like this.
28:58
SPEAKER_00: If I tell you exactly how I thought, I said, well, first of all, I'm like, there's no way that he would touch my baby.
29:05
SPEAKER_00: I go, because the parents are white, you know, and she's a school teacher, right?
29:11
SPEAKER_00: And she told me she has a camera, right?
29:14
SPEAKER_00: So I'm I'm I'm believing her, okay?
29:15
SPEAKER_00: I'm just believing everything she's telling me, you know.
29:19
SPEAKER_00: And when she went over there is how she got pregnant.
29:24
SPEAKER_00: The first time that I let that I let her go and uh hang out with uh parents is how she ended up getting pregnant.
29:33
SPEAKER_05: I wow.
29:35
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so was that when you were already at our church for a while?
29:41
SPEAKER_05: Or was that the what brought you here?
29:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because I found out she was pregnant in November I took her in, and then I found out in December that she was actually uh pregnant, because I mean I I didn't believe it.
29:56
SPEAKER_00: I mean, you know, I was like, she's not pregnant, there's no way, you know, there's no way.
30:01
SPEAKER_00: But when she says that um her body was changing, you know, I was still on the phone not believing it.
30:07
SPEAKER_00: But uh until I took her into the ER.
30:09
SPEAKER_00: And when they told me, I'm like, oh boy.
30:12
SPEAKER_05: Oh man.
30:13
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know.
30:14
SPEAKER_05: Now, what was your response?
30:16
SPEAKER_05: Angry, sad, happy?
30:18
SPEAKER_05: Well, what was what's the response?
30:20
SPEAKER_00: I I said that I'll deal with her after nine months, you know, and my thoughts.
30:25
SPEAKER_00: I said, okay, I'll deal with her after the baby's born, but I can't stress her now because you might have a miscarriage.
30:30
SPEAKER_00: What's the point of yelling and screaming and home?
30:33
SPEAKER_00: I mean, yeah.
30:34
SPEAKER_00: I was like, there's no way.
30:35
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what's the whole point?
30:37
SPEAKER_00: I mean, she's already is pregnant, and the only thing I'm doing is damage by stressing.
30:41
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so talk to me about like you when you start, what got you to come to the church?
30:46
SPEAKER_05: What was the thing?
30:47
SPEAKER_00: What was the was there because I kept bumping into Melanie and So really?
30:51
SPEAKER_05: You were just like, so our old apartment life lady and her husband live at your apartment complex, and they would come by and they would come by and be like, hey, you should come to church.
31:04
SPEAKER_05: Is that what basically it?
31:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, because she would throw it, she would throw the events for the apartment complex.
31:08
SPEAKER_00: And she wouldn't, and I mean she's so sweet.
31:10
SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, okay.
31:12
SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I wouldn't really like you wouldn't go.
31:15
SPEAKER_00: No, I wouldn't really pay attention to it, you know.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, because you think about like, oh my God, just waking up, going to church.
31:21
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, and these kids, um, I'm almost exhausted, right?
31:23
SPEAKER_01: Right.
31:24
SPEAKER_00: But then me and Ruben were walking, and uh, Ruben was going through some things, and you know, Reuben is like a cu a cousin, nephew, something.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: No, I just adopted him.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: I I I put him under my wing as me being his auntie.
31:38
SPEAKER_00: Nice, yes.
31:39
SPEAKER_00: And uh we bent into Melanie again, as a matter of fact, and I was on the on the Sunday.
31:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
31:46
SPEAKER_00: Hold on, hold on.
31:47
SPEAKER_00: She texts.
31:48
SPEAKER_00: No, Melanie texts me and says, Hey, we have service at you know at the times.
31:52
SPEAKER_00: And I looked at Ruben, I'm like, dude, we should just go.
31:55
SPEAKER_00: I mean, what what do we have to lose?
31:56
SPEAKER_00: Honestly, we have nothing to lose.
31:59
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
31:59
SPEAKER_05: I remember Ruben.
32:00
SPEAKER_05: I remember that.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
32:01
SPEAKER_00: I told him, just let's just come, you know.
32:04
SPEAKER_00: And then that's when I sat here and I remember sitting down there in the front.
32:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh, I'm gonna sit in the front.
32:09
SPEAKER_00: I want to hear the word, right?
32:10
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
32:11
SPEAKER_00: And when you were talking to me, oh my God, I was bawling.
32:13
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I need to get out.
32:16
SPEAKER_00: What?
32:17
SPEAKER_05: Get out.
32:17
SPEAKER_05: What was it?
32:18
SPEAKER_05: What was going on in your soul when I was preaching?
32:20
SPEAKER_05: Do you remember?
32:22
SPEAKER_00: You were talking about, um, I think you were talking about um how God loves us.
32:28
SPEAKER_00: And um, and um, but I feel like you were talking directly to me because, you know, um you you're talking about like that we all make mistakes.
32:39
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
32:40
SPEAKER_00: He loves us the way we are.
32:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, um, and I'm just like, I'm like trying to put my head down, but I couldn't put my head down because I was like in the second row.
32:49
SPEAKER_00: And then I was like, I like because I mean I felt embarrassed because people were looking at me.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: Right.
32:54
SPEAKER_00: And and I'm like, and my tears just kept coming down, you know, like and I told Ruben I'd be back, you know.
32:59
SPEAKER_00: And Ruben stood there too, sat there, and um, he's like and I sat outside and I was just like, wow, I'm like, but but I still wasn't sure if I should stay at this church.
33:12
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like honestly, I was sitting down there just, I guess I was trying to keep myself together, right?
33:18
SPEAKER_00: So nobody can see me cry.
33:19
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, but I felt like you were getting after me and telling me and telling me at the same time that it's okay, you know, that this is you know God's you know home and we'll all make mistakes.
33:29
SPEAKER_00: And when you said that we all make mistakes, that it's okay, you know.
33:34
SPEAKER_00: I was like, wow, oh my God.
33:36
SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, like I said, I mean, I didn't do I have friends?
33:42
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I I do, but not not a friend that comes over and visits me.
33:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
33:48
SPEAKER_05: A friend that sits down and like you don't have anyone to sit with coffee and go, like, hey, let's talk about life.
33:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I mean, I I mean at that time I didn't have I didn't have anybody, but just me and Ruben and Ruben was like, hey, you know, you want to go hang out, you know?
34:00
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh boy, you know.
34:03
SPEAKER_00: But I would always hang out with Ruben, you know, because I never wanted Ruben to be by himself.
34:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, he's such a good person, you know.
34:09
SPEAKER_00: I I loved his company, he's funny.
34:10
SPEAKER_00: Have you ever heard that song from Party All the Time from Eddie Murphy?
34:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
34:14
SPEAKER_00: Ruben loves that song.
34:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:18
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
34:19
SPEAKER_05: All right, so you come for that one time, and then over time you kept coming back.
34:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:24
SPEAKER_05: And then eventually you brought your daughters.
34:27
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
34:27
SPEAKER_05: All right, so tell me what how how hard was it to get them to come?
34:32
SPEAKER_00: Um, because I would just wake up and and and and get ready, and they were like, hey, mom, where are you going?
34:36
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, church.
34:37
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Do I want to come?
34:39
SPEAKER_00: They're like, no, okay.
34:40
SPEAKER_00: And then, and then uh I remember Rose telling me, Hey, mom, where are you going?
34:45
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm gonna go praise on Jesus, you know?
34:47
SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh, okay.
34:48
SPEAKER_00: And like they wouldn't, you know, bother.
34:50
SPEAKER_00: And then and I would tell, I would tell them, I'm like, you guys have no idea how important it is to have Jesus in your life.
34:56
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I promise you, I'm like, I'm telling you from experience, you know, through my whole journey of this world, I mean, through when I was 18 all the way now, I'm like, Jesus is the only way.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: Right.
35:07
SPEAKER_00: I go, um, I go, yes, you will go through some problems, some issues, but you'll know how to talk about it without being angry or upset or or out of character, period, you know.
35:18
SPEAKER_00: But they still wouldn't listen to me.
35:19
SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, and then um uh I said, well, can I take the baby?
35:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, because the baby needs Jesus, you know.
35:29
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and I told my I would tell my car all the time, you gotta go to church, you know.
35:33
SPEAKER_00: And I tell Rose, I would tell him, Don't do it for me.
35:35
SPEAKER_00: I don't want you to do it for me.
35:36
SPEAKER_00: I need you to do it for him, not for me.
35:38
SPEAKER_00: And I would tell Aiden, I'm like, you gotta lead, you know.
35:40
SPEAKER_00: I told him, You gotta lead.
35:42
SPEAKER_00: You gotta lead the family.
35:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, I'll go.
35:44
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be hard if you don't do it this way.
35:47
SPEAKER_00: And I tell my daughters that too.
35:48
SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have a hard life if you don't do it the way God wants us to do it.
35:54
SPEAKER_05: And what what what do you think has been the hardest part of your life?
35:56
SPEAKER_05: If you were to say, like, really from let's say I'm sure assuming like the the worst was your sister's just beating on you, but let's go to your adult life.
36:05
SPEAKER_05: Like, what has been the hard, like if you're look at that time in the past, you know, 20, 30 years, like what what would you say is like, man, this has been hard?
36:17
SPEAKER_00: Um actually raising them by myself.
36:20
SPEAKER_05: And what does that mean?
36:21
SPEAKER_05: When you say raising them by yourself, I know what that means in the sense of like, it's the consistent, like, get them up, get them to school, get them, get up, boom, boom, boom.
36:30
SPEAKER_05: Is it is it the regular rhythm of all uh only being all on you all the time and having to work and having to make sure they're having to be all things to to them?
36:39
SPEAKER_05: Is that it?
36:39
SPEAKER_05: Is it a constant stress?
36:41
SPEAKER_00: Well, I mean, I did everything possibility to be there for them every single day, which means that I took I took any any kind of jobs, like I dropped a good paying job for working at a housekeeping.
36:53
SPEAKER_00: Right.
36:54
SPEAKER_00: Like, you know, just so I can be there for them, you know.
36:57
SPEAKER_00: And um I think I think the hardest the hardest for me was um not having that male figure for them.
37:07
SPEAKER_00: Even though my son was there for them, but I felt bad because my son should have not been there and trying to take over that's supposed to be their dad's responsibility.
37:20
SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, I feel that my son um had to grow up so fast to help me.
37:25
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
37:25
SPEAKER_00: You know.
37:27
SPEAKER_05: How old is your son?
37:28
SPEAKER_00: My son right now is 25.
37:29
SPEAKER_00: 26.
37:30
SPEAKER_05: So he was born first.
37:31
SPEAKER_05: Yes.
37:32
SPEAKER_05: And was same different dad than the twins?
37:34
SPEAKER_05: No.
37:35
SPEAKER_05: Same same dad.
37:36
SPEAKER_05: So you're with him for a good chunk of time.
37:39
SPEAKER_05: All right, so you have your son, and he is 25, and he kind of did he help raise Rose and Michaela?
37:45
SPEAKER_00: He helped me a lot.
37:47
SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, get one of the twins out of the car, and poor thing.
37:50
SPEAKER_00: He was like, what, um eight, seven years old.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
37:53
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, here, carry this one because she's lighter.
37:56
SPEAKER_00: Right.
37:57
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, I'll carry the bags and I'll take this one, the heavy one.
38:01
SPEAKER_00: And by the time we got to the door, like he had the little arm on underneath the neck.
38:06
SPEAKER_00: Okay, put her down.
38:07
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, put it down, put her down by the door, honey.
38:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
38:10
SPEAKER_00: But he did that for a while.
38:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm talking about like he really like actually stepped up and and and helped me.
38:16
SPEAKER_00: Like he would sleep with one, right?
38:18
SPEAKER_00: And hug one, and I will sleep with the other one and hug that one.
38:22
SPEAKER_00: You know?
38:23
SPEAKER_00: So yeah, because I mean, you know, we had to figure it out, like just to make sure, you know.
38:28
SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Mom, I got it, mom, you know, the whole bottle thing.
38:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I'm like, okay, feed that one, I'll do this one.
38:33
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
38:34
SPEAKER_00: So so yeah, I I think I think it was that.
38:37
SPEAKER_00: I think that's what was the hardest for me, knowing that I took that little for him to be actually become a kid, and I made him to become, you know, a grown-up with responsibility.
38:50
SPEAKER_05: What's he doing now?
38:51
SPEAKER_00: He um actually works for uh special education at uh Austin School.
38:56
SPEAKER_05: Oh, nice.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:57
SPEAKER_00: You know, but he graduated for uh um he wants to do his physical therapist, so he's gonna go back to school.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: Nice.
39:04
SPEAKER_00: So, you know.
39:06
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so tell me about how like the the change in your life from when you started cut from before you were at our church to now.
39:18
SPEAKER_05: Like tell I want you to kind of talk about like talk about the kind of person you were on the inside and like what kind of came out of you, what that manifested in what way on the outside.
39:28
SPEAKER_00: So before I used to be I used to be angry.
39:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
39:33
SPEAKER_00: Um I used to be defensive.
39:36
SPEAKER_00: I used to be um I just didn't care about anybody but my kids.
39:42
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
39:43
SPEAKER_00: You know, um, um I I didn't need anybody.
39:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, I had that kind of attitude.
39:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
39:50
SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't need nobody's help, you know.
39:52
SPEAKER_00: Um I just didn't trust people.
39:56
SPEAKER_00: You know, when you had said love people, you know, how do you how do you say it?
40:01
SPEAKER_05: Love God, love people, make disciples.
40:03
SPEAKER_05: There you go.
40:04
SPEAKER_00: And I'm thinking, like, how do you love people?
40:06
SPEAKER_00: If people have always been so mean to me in my life, oh yeah.
40:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, I love animals.
40:11
SPEAKER_00: I mean, there's anything I wouldn't do for an animal.
40:14
SPEAKER_05: Right.
40:14
SPEAKER_05: They're kind, they they're gentle.
40:15
SPEAKER_00: I used to be that person where I used to be like, oh no, if there was a human being by the street with a sign, and then I saw an animal on the other side, I would stop with the animal.
40:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, no, I used to be that person.
40:26
SPEAKER_00: I used to be like, no, I wouldn't do anything for for human beings because they're mean, they're evil, they're just, you know, and that's the way I've I I was always been.
40:34
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
40:35
SPEAKER_00: Just protecting my daughters, protecting, you know.
40:37
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because you got so much hurt, so much wounded.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
40:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was it was horrible.
40:42
SPEAKER_00: Where um I remember I used to talk to all these guys, right?
40:45
SPEAKER_00: And just over the phone, because talking for a lot of people means like you're in a relationship.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
40:49
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
40:50
SPEAKER_00: I know you're like the one I'm talking to you.
40:51
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
40:52
SPEAKER_00: And um, and as soon as they wanted to get closer, I will be mean.
40:56
SPEAKER_00: I will be just so mean, so yes, and I would just it would just be a major turnout for them, and they would leave.
41:02
SPEAKER_00: And I would be like, well, at least I didn't have to hurt them.
41:04
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
41:04
SPEAKER_00: Hey, that's you know, but I used to do that a lot.
41:06
SPEAKER_00: I mean, constantly, you know, and like, you know, I just didn't trust anybody.
41:11
SPEAKER_00: But but after I started coming to church, um, I remember seeing you, and you just had that smile.
41:19
SPEAKER_00: I was like, God, I want to be like that.
41:21
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
41:22
SPEAKER_00: I want to laugh like that.
41:23
SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to, you know, he he's he's uh his demeanor is good.
41:28
SPEAKER_00: He's, you know, the the way he talks, you know, and you know, he's himself.
41:33
SPEAKER_00: He's not just a pastor that's up there reading out of a book, out of a Bible, and me not understanding what's going on, you know.
41:40
SPEAKER_00: I'll be like, okay, God, you know, I came to church, thank you, you know, but not getting anything out of it.
41:44
SPEAKER_00: Right, right, right.
41:45
SPEAKER_00: When I will go to other churches, you know.
41:47
SPEAKER_00: But when you would sit down and you you would read, you would tell me what the words meant up there.
41:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, oh wow, oh my god, I didn't know what that that meant.
41:54
SPEAKER_00: And I will write it down.
41:55
SPEAKER_04: Oh, fine.
41:56
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
41:56
SPEAKER_00: And um, I was like, okay, I'm gonna come on next Sunday, you know, I'm gonna come.
42:00
SPEAKER_00: And I will come, and I was like, um, oh my god.
42:04
SPEAKER_00: That's when I realized that um that I was learning from you um was that there was a situation that happened, and I got kicked out of my apartment.
42:17
SPEAKER_00: And you know about that situation, and um the owe me would have ran to everybody else, but at that time I ran to God.
42:28
SPEAKER_00: You know, you know, I was bawling and crying, and and and and I told God, I'm like, I know that you said that it's okay for me to feel this way.
42:35
SPEAKER_00: And I told him, I'm like, but I need you.
42:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I I don't know what's going on, and I I don't want to have that fear in my heart anymore or that worry.
42:43
SPEAKER_00: Because that's what I had all these years was fear and worry.
42:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and it was just draining me out, like completely, like, you know.
42:51
SPEAKER_00: And um, and um the more I came to church, um, and the more that you play that song, run to the father, yeah.
43:02
SPEAKER_00: Um, I knew that I was untouchable.
43:06
SPEAKER_05: Uh, what do you mean by like the fact that the world couldn't get you because the the father has you?
43:10
SPEAKER_00: Because I knew I I knew how to handle it.
43:13
SPEAKER_00: God tests me a lot of times.
43:14
SPEAKER_00: Don't get me wrong.
43:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
43:16
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I remember like something happened and I was like, my my body height was already changing.
43:22
SPEAKER_00: And I said, okay, okay, okay, well, okay.
43:25
SPEAKER_05: Let me like when you say change, like getting less stressed or not.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: No, no, no.
43:28
SPEAKER_00: I was already like worried.
43:30
SPEAKER_00: Like I was already gonna start getting worried.
43:32
SPEAKER_00: And I was like, okay, you said that to lean on your own understanding, not mine.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:38
SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna do that right now.
43:39
SPEAKER_00: So, devil, you're a liar, you know.
43:41
SPEAKER_00: You know, I was like, you're a liar, you know.
43:42
SPEAKER_00: But and then, you know, of course, you know, you know, I don't um uh I haven't talked to Michaela and seen the baby for a while.
43:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know.
43:49
SPEAKER_00: And that was another thing that was thrown to me, you know, that was thrown to me, uh, you know, um um when my when Rose left as well.
44:09
SPEAKER_00: I didn't feel alone.
44:10
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't all I was a good mom on my and for them to abandon me that way.
44:25
SPEAKER_00: That was the first day I was like um okay God, I'm like, this is what do you want me?
44:33
SPEAKER_00: Is this what you want to do for you to break me and for me to be faithful to you?
44:38
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do it.
44:39
SPEAKER_00: You know?
44:39
SPEAKER_00: And I said it, I'm like, it's okay.
44:41
SPEAKER_00: Oh my god and take Rose, take Mika, take the grandbaby, but I'm gonna continue following you, you know.
44:52
SPEAKER_05: That's beautiful.
44:53
SPEAKER_05: And I think that's I've been I've watched that your demeanor shift from feeling like a victim to being someone who's walking in confidence that God is gonna move on your behalf.
45:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
45:05
SPEAKER_05: And so like what would you say to people right now that are on the fence about Jesus?
45:14
SPEAKER_00: You have no idea how amazing he is.
45:17
SPEAKER_00: Like when I say if you have that big loaf of if you have that big loaf on your back where you just like you know, I I just can't do it.
45:26
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I you know I'm done.
45:29
SPEAKER_00: You know, don't.
45:30
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, you know, prayer is very powerful, and I really truly believe that.
45:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like you know, don't give up.
45:38
SPEAKER_00: I mean, the devil is a liar, and he's gonna the closer you get to God, uh the closer he's gonna attack the people that you love the most.
45:46
SPEAKER_00: And I realize that it's so true.
45:48
SPEAKER_00: But guess what?
45:49
SPEAKER_00: I I mean God is more powerful than the devil.
45:55
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, yeah, and he will return everything that was taken from you, but double.
46:00
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know.
46:01
SPEAKER_00: So I mean, I wouldn't give up.
46:03
SPEAKER_00: Get on your knees, you know.
46:04
SPEAKER_00: I mean, pray.
46:05
SPEAKER_00: Don't be embarrassed to pray, you know, because if you get embarrassed at praying, that means you were embarrassed when he took all those whoops for you and he died on that cross for you.
46:14
SPEAKER_00: Never be embarrassed of God or you know, speak his name, say his name, you know.
46:20
SPEAKER_05: That's so good.
46:21
SPEAKER_05: What are you praying big for right now?
46:23
SPEAKER_00: What am I paying for?
46:24
SPEAKER_00: Uh right now, this is my situation, and I would always pray God, you know, always no matter what.
46:34
SPEAKER_00: So my phone bills turned, my phone is turned off.
46:37
SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
46:38
SPEAKER_00: Um I'm not sure if I'm even getting paid for the days that I got sick, but it's okay, you know.
46:45
SPEAKER_00: The Omi would have been crying, trust me.
46:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
46:50
SPEAKER_00: But of course not.
46:51
SPEAKER_00: I'm not, I'm not gonna do that.
46:52
SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
46:53
SPEAKER_00: I got a house phone.
46:55
SPEAKER_05: Nice.
46:57
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
46:58
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, I decided to do that because you know, I mean, you know, things happen, you know, and you know, your life isn't perfect, but guess what?
47:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, what makes it perfect is that knowing how to deal with it when you have God in your heart, that it's gonna be okay.
47:12
SPEAKER_00: You know?
47:13
SPEAKER_05: I mean, it's it's wild for you to share it because a lot of people who will be listening to this, they don't worry about my phone getting turned off.
47:24
SPEAKER_05: They worry about social rejection, worry about is my kid gonna be successful enough?
47:33
SPEAKER_05: What do you what would you say to them who might have a different level of problem uh but their faith clearly isn't in Jesus?
47:41
SPEAKER_05: What would you say?
47:42
SPEAKER_00: I feel that God has a purpose for every single person in this world, especially the babies and the kids.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
47:48
SPEAKER_00: We can actually want to be like, oh, my kid's gonna be a doctor.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: Right.
47:52
SPEAKER_00: What am I I want my kid to be a doctor?
47:55
SPEAKER_00: And what if the kid doesn't want to do that?
47:57
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
47:58
SPEAKER_00: Um, I feel that God has a purpose for every single person in this world.
48:02
SPEAKER_00: I really truly believe that.
48:03
SPEAKER_00: Uh when I was at the at the hospital, um, I met this nurse and she I asked her, I'm like, so did you always wanted to be a nurse?
48:11
SPEAKER_00: And she's like, yes.
48:12
SPEAKER_00: He goes, but my but my mom always wanted my mom always wanted me to be a lawyer.
48:17
SPEAKER_00: You know?
48:17
SPEAKER_00: She goes, but I know, but I told her, I'm like, you see, but that's what God chose you to do this job.
48:22
SPEAKER_00: You know, because we can want anything we want.
48:25
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
48:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, we uh you know, I mean, I wanted to be a dancer.
48:29
SPEAKER_00: Fortunately, that didn't happen.
48:34
SPEAKER_04: Good things.
48:35
SPEAKER_00: You know, so but you know, instead I'm a teacher, you know, I teach kids, you know, and it's the most rewarding thing ever, you know.
48:42
SPEAKER_00: You know, but where do you teach at?
48:44
SPEAKER_00: At uh Bright Beginnings.
48:45
SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice.
48:46
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's a learning school.
48:47
SPEAKER_00: My boss gets mad when I say a daycare because it gets learning school, right?
48:51
SPEAKER_05: I always say when everyone says daycare at church that it's discipleship training, okay?
48:55
SPEAKER_05: Not childcare.
48:56
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but you know, I know.
48:58
SPEAKER_00: And it's amazing though, because you know, um, I wanted to make a difference.
49:02
SPEAKER_00: And um sometimes making a difference is hard though, because these little kids are our challenging, you know.
49:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, a lot of work.
49:08
SPEAKER_00: But at the end, you know, um, I told God, I'm like, God, I mean, you put me in this position right now, but you know, sometimes, you know, um my my my sometimes I want to be like, okay, if I have them eight days, nine days an hour on these kids, they should be my kids, right?
49:27
SPEAKER_00: Which means I should be able to discipline as well.
49:31
SPEAKER_05: You know, you're in a new school world over here.
49:34
SPEAKER_05: That doesn't fly.
49:35
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
49:35
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no.
49:36
SPEAKER_00: But I'm but it's amazing though.
49:38
SPEAKER_00: But that's what I'm saying.
49:39
SPEAKER_00: Like, for all the parents out there, you know, don't tell your kids what their future is.
49:45
SPEAKER_00: Let the kids make their own future and what they want to become because um you picking their career is gonna stress them out.
49:53
SPEAKER_00: It's gonna lead them to anxiety, depression, to a totally different role.
49:58
SPEAKER_00: And you really don't want to do that though.
50:00
SPEAKER_05: Talk to me about just the the joy in Jesus you have, no matter what your circumstance is.
50:06
SPEAKER_05: I think that's confusing for people.
50:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
50:09
SPEAKER_00: So, okay, so you know, I told you I've I've not I've not dated.
50:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
50:14
SPEAKER_00: And the reason for that was because I wanted to take care of me first.
50:17
SPEAKER_00: That way, when I do have that person, I know how to talk to him and I know how to speak to him.
50:23
SPEAKER_05: And be respectful and all the things.
50:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know what I mean?
50:25
SPEAKER_05: Because I mean And not just be like, I'm gonna light you up.
50:29
unknown: Yeah.
50:30
SPEAKER_00: And guess what?
50:31
SPEAKER_00: He came to church with me when you met him.
50:33
SPEAKER_05: That was exciting.
50:34
SPEAKER_00: Yes, you know, because you know, he was keeping me from going from church, you know, and and he agreed with that.
50:39
SPEAKER_00: That's what I like, you know, because I will see him on the weekends, you know, because he doesn't live in Austin.
50:44
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, and um I told him, I'm like, look, I just want to talk to you about this.
50:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I I really love going to church and I'm gonna put God first, and I'm gonna put my church first, and I want to be at church every Sunday, yeah, you know, and make a difference.
50:57
SPEAKER_00: And um, I think we need to work on something and other ways for us to see each other.
51:02
SPEAKER_00: And he was like, I agree.
51:03
SPEAKER_00: I was doing the same thing for him.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: Uh huh.
51:05
SPEAKER_00: You know, no, because I was keeping him close and doing what he's supposed to be doing.
51:09
SPEAKER_05: That's sweet.
51:10
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so talk talk to me about it.
51:12
SPEAKER_05: I love that.
51:12
SPEAKER_05: That's relationships are fun, especially when they're godly.
51:15
SPEAKER_05: Um how about this one?
51:17
SPEAKER_05: What about have you have you had to go back and forgive your sisters?
51:20
SPEAKER_05: Are they still living?
51:21
SPEAKER_05: Are they still have you been able to forgive them?
51:23
SPEAKER_00: Of course.
51:23
SPEAKER_00: I forgave them the day that I left home.
51:26
SPEAKER_00: Oh, wow.
51:26
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
51:27
SPEAKER_05: How did you how did you do that?
51:29
SPEAKER_05: Like, because I know there's a lot of people listening that they got bitterness deep down.
51:33
SPEAKER_05: And for the wounds that have been given to them, how did you forgive them?
51:36
SPEAKER_00: What was the I I had to because if I didn't forgive them, then they were still gonna control me.
51:42
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
51:42
SPEAKER_05: That's so insightful.
51:43
SPEAKER_05: That's right.
51:44
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and and and and not only that, but I love my siblings.
51:48
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
51:48
SPEAKER_00: You know, I I love my my my brothers and sisters, you know.
51:52
SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's not their fault that, you know, we, you know, they didn't get what they needed growing up.
51:58
SPEAKER_00: I think that it would have been different if we would have had God and pray, pray, and and known, known all of this.
52:05
SPEAKER_05: And your dad, and your dad and to your dad's credit, he tried, but you know, if he he probably wasn't trained, he did the best he could with what he had and probably wasn't able to communicate Christ in a in a way that was that the kids could understand.
52:17
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
52:17
SPEAKER_05: That's hard.
52:19
SPEAKER_00: Well, yes, but I mean, um, but they talk about, I mean, they they do they believe in Jesus?
52:24
SPEAKER_00: Yes, they all do.
52:25
SPEAKER_00: You know, they all do, you know.
52:27
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's good.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
52:28
SPEAKER_00: Um, but I want to do more than just believe in him and and just follow him.
52:32
SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to make a difference and I want to be able to not only share my story, but actually like, you know, um bring a man.
52:41
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:42
SPEAKER_00: Because you know what?
52:42
SPEAKER_00: Like, I was blessed when Melanie invited me all that many times.
52:47
SPEAKER_05: And then finally, how many times did she invite you before you came?
52:49
SPEAKER_00: Goodness.
52:50
SPEAKER_00: I think maybe seven or eight.
52:53
SPEAKER_05: A lot of things.
52:54
SPEAKER_05: You know what's funny?
52:54
SPEAKER_05: In our like when we do training for like um evangelism talk, we say it takes seven or eight times for someone to say yes.
53:03
SPEAKER_05: That's literally in the training.
53:05
SPEAKER_05: So it was seven or eight times for her to reach out to you because that's normal.
53:10
SPEAKER_05: And so your heart had to be, you had to see consistency over time for you to finally respond and be like, these people actually care about me.
53:18
SPEAKER_05: And didn't like Robert come and visit?
53:20
SPEAKER_00: Oh my goodness.
53:21
SPEAKER_00: Uh so I was having other people visiting me.
53:24
SPEAKER_00: Because you remember, I was just so everywhere.
53:27
SPEAKER_00: I had the uh hold on.
53:29
SPEAKER_05: The door knocking people.
53:32
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
53:32
SPEAKER_05: Oh wow.
53:33
SPEAKER_00: But but the only reason, I mean, those are regardless, those are Jesus people, right?
53:37
SPEAKER_00: I the I mean I'm talking about them human as humans.
53:40
SPEAKER_00: Right, right, yeah.
53:41
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, they're they're humans, for sure.
53:43
SPEAKER_05: They're young kids.
53:43
SPEAKER_05: Child of God.
53:44
SPEAKER_00: I was just trying to feed them, you know.
53:45
SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, oh, okay.
53:46
SPEAKER_05: You were like you kind of felt bad for them.
53:48
SPEAKER_00: You're like, Yes, you know, I was like That is hilarious.
53:51
SPEAKER_05: You were trying to feed them.
53:52
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I was just trying to feed them because you know I have kids and they were like 18, yeah, they're young kids, 19, 17, they were young, really young kids.
54:00
SPEAKER_00: And and I would be like, you know, they would do they would talk to me about it, and I'm like, oh, okay, you know.
54:05
SPEAKER_05: Did they speak to you in Spanish or in English?
54:06
SPEAKER_00: And in English, yeah, yeah.
54:08
SPEAKER_00: Really, really, you know, um, dress up little little boys, you know.
54:14
SPEAKER_00: I mean, I was just trying to feed them.
54:15
SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, so if I'm gonna do something good, I'm gonna I'm gonna feed them, and that's my good for today, you know.
54:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna, you know.
54:22
SPEAKER_00: But then I had somebody else.
54:24
SPEAKER_00: Um, what's his name?
54:26
SPEAKER_05: Was it Robert or was it uh Nick?
54:28
SPEAKER_00: He's he he would walk around with another guy.
54:32
SPEAKER_00: Um that's how that's how I got more involved.
54:34
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I think it was Robert.
54:35
SPEAKER_05: There was Robert and then Nick.
54:37
SPEAKER_05: Mark?
54:38
SPEAKER_05: Was it Mark?
54:39
SPEAKER_05: Or is it Luke?
54:41
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
54:42
SPEAKER_00: He he's not he doesn't live in this area.
54:43
SPEAKER_00: I think he lives outside.
54:45
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
54:45
SPEAKER_00: But he would go into people's doors.
54:47
SPEAKER_00: Was it Mark Laver?
54:48
SPEAKER_00: He came to see, he came to see me when the grandbaby was was uh Oh, that's so sweet.
54:53
SPEAKER_05: He came to see you.
54:53
SPEAKER_05: That's awesome.
54:54
SPEAKER_00: So he hold on.
54:55
SPEAKER_00: So I was trying to park my car, and my neighbors, they're like, he was like, Hey, do you know of do you know that Jesus died for you?
55:02
SPEAKER_00: Or he said something like that to my neighbor.
55:04
SPEAKER_00: And she and my neighbor was like, Yeah, you know, yeah, so what?
55:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, like you know, and I was running trying to get the parking, right?
55:10
SPEAKER_00: You know, on the front, you know, because I live in an apartment.
55:13
SPEAKER_00: I want my parking in the front.
55:14
SPEAKER_00: And I was running, he goes, Hey, hey, can we talk about you to we talk to you about Jesus?
55:18
SPEAKER_00: I looked at him, I'm like, Yes, of course.
55:20
SPEAKER_00: Hold on to the thought.
55:21
SPEAKER_00: I need to move this car really quick.
55:22
SPEAKER_00: So I moved the car and I parked it, and then um was it a big white guy?
55:27
SPEAKER_00: He was um um no, he was little.
55:32
SPEAKER_00: Huh.
55:33
SPEAKER_00: He was um he do you remember that?
55:36
SPEAKER_00: Um, I don't know names, but um I just know he has really good skin.
55:42
SPEAKER_00: One of the one one of the guys here, one of the one of the guys here.
55:45
SPEAKER_05: Um you're like, you have a great moisturizer.
55:48
SPEAKER_00: He does.
55:48
SPEAKER_00: I asked him what he had in his bathroom.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: I did.
55:51
SPEAKER_00: I asked him.
55:52
SPEAKER_00: I told him, I hope it's not appropriate, but I'm just so curious.
55:55
SPEAKER_00: What do you use in your face?
55:56
SPEAKER_00: He's like, Oh, I don't.
55:57
SPEAKER_00: I don't use nothing.
55:58
SPEAKER_05: That's wild.
55:59
SPEAKER_00: But um, I have a picture of it.
56:00
SPEAKER_05: Was it Sam?
56:01
SPEAKER_00: Oh, what's his name?
56:02
SPEAKER_00: Okay, he has a wife, yeah, and his wife has little short hair.
56:09
SPEAKER_00: Um I guess oh my goodness.
56:12
SPEAKER_00: I mean, he was a big part.
56:14
SPEAKER_00: Gosh, I want he came like constantly, like like constantly.
56:18
SPEAKER_05: He was faithful to come.
56:19
SPEAKER_00: Yes, and then one day, uh um uh they came again, and then I remember when they bought bought a subway.
56:30
SPEAKER_00: We're like, wow, you're gonna buy a subway.
56:33
SPEAKER_00: We were so happy.
56:34
SPEAKER_00: We're like, what?
56:35
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna you're gonna buy us that's so great.
56:37
SPEAKER_00: He's like, You're our tree.
56:38
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, wow, you know, but yes, but when he when I when he came, he came with another guy.
56:43
SPEAKER_00: And I thought, you know, the frispy thing that goes on the I thought that that's who they were.
56:48
SPEAKER_00: Oh when they were hanging out, yeah, you know, and then he's like, um, and he asked me my name, and I said, Um, oh, Lydia.
56:55
SPEAKER_00: He goes, Oh, wow.
56:57
SPEAKER_00: He goes, what is it that you want, uh, Lydia, from God?
57:00
SPEAKER_00: What no?
57:01
SPEAKER_00: He goes, What do you want me to pray for you?
57:02
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I said, Oh, I want to get to know him more.
57:06
SPEAKER_00: You know, I told him that.
57:07
SPEAKER_00: Can you pray that for me?
57:08
SPEAKER_00: And he just looked at me with his big old eyes and he's like, What?
57:10
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, I I I want you to pray because I want it, I want to get to know him more.
57:15
SPEAKER_00: And then he's like, Do you mind if I um if I come in or something?
57:19
SPEAKER_00: Because it was cold.
57:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, like, yeah, yeah, come in.
57:22
SPEAKER_00: And he asked me for my name, like Lydia.
57:23
SPEAKER_00: And he goes, You know, Lydia's in the Bible, you know.
57:26
SPEAKER_00: And uh, and then he told me the story.
57:29
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, oh wow.
57:30
SPEAKER_05: Lydia was a dealer of purple.
57:33
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, he told me the story.
57:34
SPEAKER_05: So cool.
57:35
SPEAKER_00: And then he kept coming and coming, and I that's when I started coming more.
57:40
SPEAKER_00: And um, I mean, ever since then, it's like um I don't know.
57:48
SPEAKER_00: I like I thank God all the time, like literally, like and do I have do I have um what is it called?
57:57
SPEAKER_00: That word, um challenges, like where things happen and and they're trying to remove me to get away from God.
58:07
SPEAKER_00: Yes, I get that a lot every day, you know, and um and it's not from because like I said, I really don't go anywhere, but it's more from work.
58:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, it's more from work, and the nicer that I am, the more they attack me.
58:22
SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
58:22
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and uh, and it's okay, you know.
58:24
SPEAKER_00: I said it it's it's okay.
58:26
SPEAKER_00: You know, I just you know, I, you know, um, I I just pray and then you know uh one of the things that the kids learn from me, because you know, you're not supposed to teach right, you know, the anything about God, yes, but I mean I didn't teach them that.
58:40
SPEAKER_00: They just learned it for me because every time I go outside to the playground, I'd be like, Oh, thank you, Jesus.
58:45
SPEAKER_00: And I raised up my hand, right?
58:47
SPEAKER_00: And they learned that from me.
58:48
SPEAKER_05: Like, hey, best lessons of life are always taught, not taught.
58:53
SPEAKER_00: Or, you know, you're allowed to eat with them, right?
58:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'll sit down and I'm like, oh, thank you, Jesus, for this wonderful meal, you know, and then they'll start doing it, you know.
59:00
SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, okay, you know, I mean, I'm not teaching them though.
59:03
SPEAKER_05: That's incredible.
59:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes, but I mean, look amazing though.
59:06
SPEAKER_05: I am so glad you're at our church.
59:08
SPEAKER_05: I'm so glad that people pursued you and loved you.
59:12
SPEAKER_05: And I want you to know you're loved, you're welcomed, and um, so grateful that I got to hear your story today.
59:18
SPEAKER_05: And um, man, I can't wait to see who else you're gonna bring to our church.
59:23
SPEAKER_00: You know what?
59:24
SPEAKER_00: Another thing I want to tell all these females, yeah, like literally, don't look for love.
59:29
SPEAKER_00: Let it come to you.
59:30
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
59:30
SPEAKER_05: Let a man come pursue you.
59:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes, because you'll be surprised and how how um the boyfriend that I have now, I wasn't looking for him at all.
59:41
SPEAKER_00: You know?
59:42
SPEAKER_05: That's like the hardest thing to say to a single person, though.
59:45
SPEAKER_05: Like, don't look for I know you want to get married, but stop looking.
59:48
SPEAKER_05: They're like, ah!
59:49
SPEAKER_00: No, but it but it's it's crazy how how things happen without you not even expecting it, is what I'm trying to say.
59:55
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, I know what you mean.
59:56
SPEAKER_00: When you least expect it, it's when it does happen.
59:58
SPEAKER_00: And I do believe that because I mean, golly, I was been single for I don't know how many years.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_00: There's not even enough fingers or toes.
1:00:07
SPEAKER_00: You know, but I wasn't looking though.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_00: That's the thing.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_04: No, that's so beautiful.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_00: But for every single one that's single and saying, like, oh, when is my time or when is you know, God always said to not lead on your own understanding, you know.
1:00:19
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, just to trust the Lord with all your heart.
1:00:21
SPEAKER_05: Lean not on your own understanding in all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_00: And I really, really truly believe that because like like anything that goes wrong, like I still smile, I still praise him.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_00: I still wake up in the morning and before I go to work and praise him.
1:00:39
SPEAKER_00: I still praise him before I go to sleep.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_00: I still praise him when I'm walking around, and my daughter tells me who am I talking to?
1:00:46
SPEAKER_04: I love that.
1:00:47
SPEAKER_00: You know, she's like, Who are you talking to?
1:00:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh my Jesus.
1:00:50
SPEAKER_00: She's like, Oh, okay, you know.
1:00:52
SPEAKER_00: You know, she'll see me sitting down there, you know, opening, you know, the Bible and and trying to, you know, see what God wants me to learn, you know.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_00: So I that's when I want that's that's when I want to, that's what I want to leave for my kids.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:01:05
SPEAKER_05: That's a great legacy.
1:01:06
SPEAKER_00: Those memories, those where he they see me, you know.
1:01:09
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, I remember mom talking talking to herself around, you know, the kitchen and you know, looking upset or looking happy or looking I love it.
1:01:18
SPEAKER_00: Because I do talk to God upset as well, you know.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_05: I know you do.
1:01:22
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:01:22
SPEAKER_05: Well, hey, thanks so much for joining us.
1:01:24
SPEAKER_05: We'll have to have you back.
1:01:25
SPEAKER_05: Uh, just find out what the next adventure in the life of Lydia is.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_05: Hey, if you got any questions, you can text us in at 737 231 0605.
1:01:33
SPEAKER_05: We'd love to hear from you.
1:01:34
SPEAKER_05: We talk faith, culture, and everything in between.
1:01:36
SPEAKER_05: And from our house to yours, have an awesome week of work.