Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 22 – Choices

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Ep. 22 – Choices · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_00: I am Comedy Wood, and for those of you who are unfamiliar with who I am and what I do, I am a certified life coach that works with individuals on healing the relationship with themselves and ending the outsourcing of self-worth so that they can define success and happiness for themselves and they can enter into healthy relationships with others.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: As you know, this podcast is all about figuring out different ways to maneuver through life's ups, downs, twists, and turns.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's about defining joy for yourself.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things that I find that people struggle with, and myself included, is making choices.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Figuring out which way to go.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Do we go down the right path or to the left path?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: And this has been something that has honestly been an issue in our own home over the last few months, as my oldest daughter was embarking on figuring out which ballet contract to accept.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: She had uh a few offers in hand and was not sure which way to go.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: Ultimately, she chose a company uh that she feels very good about, she feels confident about, and uh, while there are nerves involved in the decision, uh she's also equally excited.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to spend today's episode just talking about making choices and um how to go about figuring out uh the best decision to make.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And it truthfully all starts with building your confidence, really just uh working on believing in yourself, working on uh recognizing that you're making a choice with the information you have in front of you.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: And no matter how it turns out, recognizing that you will be able to meet whatever issues pop up or whatever life throws at you, you will show up and deal with it just as you have done previously.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if it doesn't turn out the exact way that you wanted it to or hoped it would, you recognize and you build the the resiliency that you will be able to take information that you've acquired along the way and continue to move forward.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: But when we are faced with these big choices in life or these decisions that we have to make, there are some steps that we can take to move forward and to figure out what makes the best sense for us in at the given time.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of the first things that I always say is really get present.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we spend time uh thinking about the past or harping on maybe past decisions, it can keep us from being able to move forward.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth of the matter is, and I've said this many times before, is that we can't we can't undo the past, we can't fix it.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: All we can do is take information from it and apply it forward.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise, when we're making decisions and choices, we end up getting paralyzed when we future trip.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And by that I mean jumping so aren't so far into the future that we're already deciding how what problems are gonna exist and how we're gonna combat them.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: And while in life it it does help when we have a plan B, sometimes when we're trying to make a choice though, and we go so far into the future and we're future tripping and trying to solve problems that don't even exist, again, it keeps us from making a choice in the here and now.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: So, my very first thing that I tell people and that I am I have started to really hone in on, really anchor into and practice myself is before making a decision or a choice, is to just really get present, get mindful and get present in the current moment.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I right now?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: What are the options in front of me?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, rather than looking and jumping towards the future and trying to solve problems that don't exist.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: The other thing that is really important when making choices is to really know your core values, really understand, you know, your who you are, and and this goes back to just as we do this self-work and we go through self-growth, is it's really important to anchor back into your value system, what makes you tick.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you understand your values and when you're making choices, you anchor into those values, that's when you know that you are the information and the choices you're making are likely coming from a place deep within you rather than a reactionary choice.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The other really important thing when making choices and decisions in life is try not to make choices and decisions when you're tired.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when you're tired or hungry, those are the times when a lot of the choices we make will be shaded or clouded.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so important to have a clear mind when we are making large decisions for our lives.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: So when we're feeling tired or we're feeling hungry or we're feeling worn down, those are the moments that we have to slow it down, don't make it a big choice at that point in time, but actually go practice some self-care.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Refill your cup before trying to figure out what choice you want to make.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that the third thing, and this goes back to the the concept I was mentioning before about future tripping, is really when we're making a decision, we have to stop forecasting what the future is going to be.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Meaning we have to keep ourselves when we're triggered into future tripping and we're fearing the consequences of our choice, we have to slow it down, take a breath, recognize we're in the here and now, identify what's in front of us, what the choices are, what what the likely outcomes will be, and figure out what the best decision is for us at this given moment in time.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And know and trust and anchor into the fact that we are capable of meeting whatever demands are placed on us in the future when it happens.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: We don't have to sit and contemplate what the consequences might be of the decision that we're making.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: So when you are feeling fearful and the fears are really creeping up, again, that's when it's time to slow down, take that breath, and figure out you know, what are my values, anchor into those, and from that place follow what your intuition and your gut is telling you rather than knee-drick reactions.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: As you make a decision and as you uh work through the decisions that you've made, it's important to do a reflection.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so as we because what happens in life is we'll make decisions along the way, and then things won't turn out the way that we thought that they should or we wanted them to turn out, and so then we just think negatively and we spiral into this um, you know, shoulda, woulda, coulda type attitude when what we could do is just take time to reflect on choices we've made and figure out what worked for us and what may not have worked for us.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And from the things that didn't work for us, what nuggets did we learn along the way that we can now apply moving forward so that we don't necessarily make the same choice again.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, given the same set of circumstances or similar circumstances, at least take the information we have learned and apply it so that we make a slightly different choice the next time rather than continuing to do the same thing over and over again.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Another way to look at uh big choices in life and decisions in life, and I talk about this a lot when I'm talking about how we res we raise our resiliency factor, is to use the method of storyboarding.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: So as you are facing life's decisions and life's choices, sometimes the best thing to do is to look at the the choices that are in front of you and then storyboard out what are the likely outcomes of each of the um each of the choices in front of you.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: What would you hope for?
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: What would be the worst possible outcome?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And then from that place, you know, go through from that place you storyboard out, you know, what how would you handle each of the different situations.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: And again, this isn't this is not future tripping.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually just uh breaking into bite-sized nuggets the different options you have in front of you, so that then when you have them broken out, given all the information laid out in front of you, and I do suggest that you write this out on a piece of paper and don't try to just do this in your head because what ends up happening is all the thoughts then start swirling in your head and they all become mumbo jumbo, and it's really important to have these laid out.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so you know, there lots of people talk about a pro-con list.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is actually uh mapping out uh the different options that you have in front of you so that you can actually get it out of your head and onto paper, and then you ask yourself, given all the information I have in front of me, what is the best choice that I can make for myself here?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: What is the best choice that I have given the information that's in front of me?
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then after you have the choice made, you go through a process of saying, now that I've made this choice, what are the steps that I need to take?
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And what this allows you to do is to settle your mind and again bring you into the present rather than, you know, what we what what we as humans love to do is we'll make a choice and then we immediately jump into the future.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So what that does is it reels you back in and allows you to anchor into the choice that you've made and you start mapping out what the next steps are to move forward with that choice.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and and as we make these choices in life, again, they're not always gonna turn out the way that we anticipated them to.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, even though it hasn't turned out the way that we anticipated it to, we actually end up uh gaining something that we didn't even know we were gonna gain from that choice.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the things that I've often mentioned to my clients so that they don't have fear of making choices and they they don't feel that feeling of stuckness, is through throughout periods of your life and just throughout your daily practice, sometimes it's best to also map out different choices you've made and uh figure out what are the best decisions you've made, what you clap would classify as the best decisions you've made, and what you would classify as the worst decisions you've made.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: So an exercise that I have people do sometimes is mapping out like three of the best decisions, what they classify as the best decisions they've made in their life, and three of the worst decisions they've made in their life.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And then they then I have them ask the following questions or answer the following questions.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how did you feel when making each of those decisions?
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: So you go through the three best that you have written down and you ask yourself, how did I feel when I made those three decisions?
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then you review the three worst decisions you've made and you ask yourself the same question.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: How did I feel when making those decisions?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: And really see if you can see a tendency as to when you've made quote unquote a worse decision, how were you feeling when you made that decision?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: Were you feeling tired?
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: Were you feeling overwhelmed?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: Were you feeling unsupported?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because if we can find commonality to when we make a bad decision, we can then, as we are facing decisions further on in life, we can recognize when those uh tendencies are happening that they may not be the time to make a decision, or that we need to alter the place from which we're making the decision.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Likewise, when we map out the best decisions we've made and we find commonalities of what I was feeling when I made the best decisions of my life, as we're facing decisions and choices in our life, we can replicate those feelings and get ourselves into that headspace before making a large choice or a large decision.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this was helpful.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: If at any point in time you would like support with what's going on in your life, I would hope that you would reach out to me.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: Very easy to get in touch with me and book a call with me.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: All you have to do is go to www.chatwithcomedy.com.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you can always visit me on my website at comedywood.com.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: Send me an email, I'd be happy to respond.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, I'm Comedy Wood.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: Life happens for you, not to you.