Latest / Okay, Hear Me Out. / We’re Professionals, We Promise.

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We’re Professionals, We Promise. · Okay, Hear Me Out.

• Rise Therapeutic Services: Welcome to Okay Hear Me Up, where we'd rather torch the status quo than tiptoe around it and bring you the conversations your brain didn't know it needed, but definitely can't escape. We're your hosts, Ashley and Melissa. And if you've ever wondered what happens when two women with zero fucks and a million thoughts get together to talk about mental health and all the ways the world could use a serious reboot, you're about to find out. So buckle up, because we're not here to color inside the lines, we're here to redraw them, question everything, and maybe light a match or two. So let's get started. Listening to this podcast, interacting with us on social media or submitting questions does not establish a client therapist relationship between you and the host. That's a fancy way of saying we aren't your therapist just because you listen to this podcast. Please go get yourself one. Always seek the advice of your physician, therapist, or Or other qualified health professional with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it simply because of something you've heard on this podcast. If you think you may have a medical or mental health emergency, call your doctor or go to the nearest hospital, or call 911 immediately. If you are experiencing suicidal crisis or severe emotional distress, please call or text 998 to reach the suicidal or crisis lifeline in the US or Canada. Or contact your local emergency services. Reliance on any information provided by OK Hear Me Out, us, the hosts, or any guest is solely at your own risk. Any case studies, listener questions, or examples discussed are fictionalized or heavily anonymized to protect confidentiality. Welcome to episode one of okay hear me out. We're glad you're here for the shit show. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be chaotic. Enjoy. We are gonna jump all over the place. We may not always know what we're gonna say. It's fine. We never know what we're going to say. It's what makes it so scary. That is what makes it scary, 100%. Okay. We're gonna so okay, the first episode, guys, might be a little dry. Maybe. Maybe. We're gonna do introductions, kinda talk about what the fuck we're even doing here, and then we'll we'll we'll do other things. Okay. So I'm Ashley. I graduated from Lewis and Clark. I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist. I specialize in equine therapy. I do EMDR, I do a lot of reality therapy, C B T, work with a lot of trauma, anxiety and depression, and I'm also a clinical supervisor. I am metaphorically, sometimes literally, the mean one. Depends. Depends on tape. Depends the day and depends on the client. but I d okay. But in my defense, I do have clients come to me literally asking, like be mean. Be mean to me. So like it that's that's why it is the way it is. Anyway, I'm the one who tells you what you need to hear and I don't beat around the bush and I'm usually the one who triggers the shit out of people. In the most nice way possible. I'm Alyssa. I grew grew I grew up from Capella. my god. Did you though? I know. That's the problem. I grew up from Capella. I grew up not from Capella, but on my own in multiple facets, if we really want to go down the rabbit hole. I graduated from Capella University. I specialize heavily in the trauma work. Complex PTSD, etc. But I also do a lot of work in like grief and infertility, somatic stuff, kind of connecting your brain and body. I also will tell you how it is and what you need to hear and like be straightforward, but usually in a nicer way than Ashley. Most of the time we're getting there. We're learning when to set the record straight and just be like, Hey, here it is. Like Yeah, but I need you to keep being the nice one, or we're really gonna struggle. Correct. Well, and I think in our dynamic It's easier for you to be nice It's easier for me to be meaner more often. Because you are meaner and I'm like, hold on, I gotta clean that up. I gotta clean up that mess that you just made. Go back. They're only small messes, guys, don't worry. They're only small messes. And they're usually worth it. There's a reason for them. Hundred percent. They're therapeutically relevant. Most of the time. Usually. every now and then I'm on one. But it's fine. Okay. How did we meet? We met at a place called Area Fifty One. We will not name it. It will never ever be named because it doesn't deserve that much energy and or publicity. And because it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist anymore. Because it doesn't exist. It doesn't exist Because it went bankrupt. For fraud. Be for a lot of things. Inappropriate, unethical business dealings. Miss what we will call it. Yep. We met at Area fifty one. Outside of a bathroom in the hall of the building that we worked in. Our very sterile nasty boring boring blue building. god blue. It was so bad. Anywho. We're outside of the bathroom. And this I don't even know if I want to tell the story. No we're gonna tell it because let's be honest. It's just it's the You have to tell the story. Yeah. I I was in the bathroom, using the bathroom in a certain kind of way, and it's a shared bathroom. Okay, and as I was walking out, she happened to be walking in and I knew that she worked in my busin the business I was in because I had seen her and I didn't even think about it, to be honest. It just kinda came out of my mouth and I told her. With a straight face. Dead honest. Like I didn't even hesitate. I wouldn't go in there if I were you. Straight face. And I remember. And I very distinctly remember being like, I can't believe I just said that out loud to this stranger, but it's fine, too late. Can't take it back. Yeah. And I remember thinking, my god, she just said that out loud. And then I was like, Yes. This is my people. And that is how we knew we were going to be friends. Legit. And then we started running groups together. Yep. And then it was all downhill from there. Because like the first group, like we were meeting ahead of time, like kind of prepping or whatever. because I was a student at the time and she was freshly graduated as an associate and so I was still kind of learning the ropes and we started talking about all the groups we wanted to run and then it was like we ran for the hills from there. It's like what we call our Usain bolting. It started from day one basically. Yeah, we've called it Usain bolting for a very long time. We don't know how to walk, we just run places. We just run. Not literally metaphorically I don't know anymore. No. No way. Anywho Now Now where are we at? Well, we are in a closet right now. We are in a closet technically, although you are not closeted. would argue that I am because people constantly ask me if I'm gay which I am not by the way, however contrary to popular belief. We might need to that out if that was with me. I don't know. I know you Care. That was hilarious. No, anywho. We are literally in a closet right now. We decorated it. She painted like what we call our media room. Yes, anyways. We are in a closet. Back to what we're We're in a closet in our own private practice. Yes, we now own our own private practices and we do not employ. We have a business that we do ethically. Area 51. Where we rent a building and we rent out offices to a bunch of other private practice therapists who run their own businesses and we all just exist together while helping each other's practices grow. We do a lot of internal referrals and Melissa and I have done a lot of really hard work trying to cultivate an office where everyone kinda specializes in something different. So we have a lot of really good referrals in our office. And I think they were up what, ten or eleven therapists now? Yeah, something like that. And they all they're all here on different days and we all take different insurances. So it's actually pretty fun. And it's a nice way to run a private practice where everybody kinda gets to do their own thing, but nobody's responsible for anyone but themselves. Correct. We'll talk more about that later. Definitely ideal. anywho. So how did the podcast come to be? Because my favorite thing is because of the way that y what you call it. Are hot tub parties? Parties. Yeah, we call them hot tub parties. She calls them parties, but really it's just two people. Well this is true. But like who defines what a party is? Me. We had hot tub parties where Melissa used to come out to my house twice a month and we would get in the hot tub and we would literally for hours and when I say hours I'm not even exaggerating pruning hours. Three to four hours that time. And we would just sit there and we would throw out all of the ridiculous business ideas that we have. It got so ridiculous. To the point that we have a business idea where we sell our business ideas. Like that's we can't run them all. That's how stupid it was. Anyway, we have a running list. If you want to know, shoot us an email. Like if you know something you're interested in, we'll we'll get you something. I'm sure we can pull one out. Anyway, that's how it started. And a lot of people have told us that we should run a podcast because apparently we're ridiculous we're ridiculously funny. I don't know. I don't think I'm that funny, but I think I'm just very offhand and it just takes people by surprise. Yes, I think our banter is what gets people most of the time. Yes. So anyway. So people told us we should do podcasts and so we finally decided. We're absolutely resistant at first. absolutely. I don't want to do podcasts. I don't want my I that's the internet. It lives forever. I d I'm never gonna escape that. I definitely can't have children if this is gonna be on the internet. There's no way to die with you. Yeah, it might kill me. No. Anywho, this is so weird a lot of it. We talked about it and we talked about it and we talked about it. And then one day Ashley was like, hey, by the way, I spent the weekend writing a list of all the podcast episodes. That's not even what it was. It was like, what are you talking about? It wasn't even that. It was like, hey, by the way, I just wrote 134 episodes. And I was like, Mitch, you said you didn't want to do the fucking podcast. No, I said, well, I changed my mind. Literally. Like the flip of a switch. I was like, I'm getting whiplash. So and then she I took advantage. Then she said, Bet, I wanna go get this stuff. Begit. It was like okay, I have permission to paint, right? Like I'm good to go. You're like committing to this. And I I did. It was like she did. I I took advantage. She did real quick and now we're here and I can't escape. She can't escape. Anyways, the purpose of this podcast is really we're gonna do a lot of weird shit probably, but the the genuine purpose of the podcast is supposed to be exploring all things therapy, good and bad. Like we really want to help people understand like the things. Therapy field, because A T V is a horrid representation. Do not watch shrinking. That's not how that works. Shut up. I love shrinking. But it's not real. That's not how that works. But I do think that there are some elements of shrinking that should be real. We'll know that. They won't. Touche. Okay, so many bat don't any therapists on TV just don't it doesn't doesn't actually work that way. So just ignore it all. Okay? You should not live with your therapist. Ever. Don't live with your therapist. Literally never that should happen. Okay, but like no, we we'll talk about it. Yeah, we won't go there. Anyways. But really actually there's a lot of shitty therapists out there too. So like touche. So maybe actually you may live with your therapist if it's one of those therapists. So that's possible. Anyways, we also want to give other therapists Like a place where they can come and listen to other ridiculous therapists. talk about therapy in a way that's not super sterile, like they have a stick up their butt. No offense to those of you that are. I mean a little offense. Little offense. Like you need to get over it and like loosen. What's going on there? Why? Who do you have clients? I mean I can't go there. That's too many things. Yep. We'll cross that we can make an episode of that. That's a whole different thing. But anyways There are not a lot of therapists out there who will do it. However, Melissa and I have very much fondly fell in love with Camber on on Instagram. We're gonna shout her out because we adore her. She's great. We don't even take Cigna. Fuck Signa. Fuck Sigma. We're here. Solidarity. Camber. Solidarity. We don't even take Signa, but we're here for it, okay? She's convinced us. Anywho. we also are here to just Do other weird things like talk about our love of T V shows. Her obsession with Grey's Anatomy. It's excessive. It's n I feel like it's been repeated. I don't have placement resole in aisles. Or SVU stole. See, but I Although it I don't have any room to talk. See, but I ha I've I've gone too far. You have gone too far. However, that was one time. Is it one time? Technically, yes. For the moment. Yes. Until someone connects you with Eric Kriptke. Yeah. Absolutely. We'll get there. So you can talk about your love of Grays for right now. I need to gather I need to gather my thoughts. I think that anybody who's seen Grays knows Grey's, right? Like I think I've said previously in our conversations. Yes. Obviously not on the podcast, but like the idea of Gray's anatomy is like essentially a trauma bond. Like there's so much fucking drama and trauma and blah blah blah blah. Also we cuss on this episode or on this podcast. Well wait for that. Correct. But I think the E'll give it away. True. Explicit. It's all about the like the emotional resonance and like sitting in the emotions of your trauma, which essentially is basically what that show is. And I think anybody who has a trauma background loves Grays for that fucking reason. Whether they acknowledge that's the reason or not, my clinical opinion is that's why. I also love SVU. That is a shared love. She's obsessed with Mariska. Yes, Mariska is one of my T V wives. But like everybody says that. She is like everybody. Like she is the I literally saw on Instagram the other day that someone literally said she is the icon of like lesbianism. And I was like, she's not even gay. But that's how you know. You're good. You're good. You're good. You can go all the ways. Legit. You've done it right. You've done all the things right. Complex of my word of the use legit. But yeah, so we both love SVU and then I have a very over the top. Over the top love. Not obsession though, because like I don't Passion. I d Passion, thank you. I have a passion. Because I don't watch it incessantly. I know. I've only seen it totally all the way through one time. Because I refused to watch the last season because it makes me so upset because I know it's getting closer to the end. my god. I do. It made me so mad. I couldn't do it. That's why it took me six years to finally get through it. But you gotta tell them what it is. I know it's supernatural. Okay? I love it. She has a passion for supernatural. I love it. And it's I don't even know how to explain it. I don't even like scary things. I don't I hate scary movies. It's not even really that scary, but it kinda is a little bit It has moments. Yeah. But like I don't know what it is, guys. It's just so good. And then when I found out that it ended with You Know Who dying, It sent me into a rage. She's like not even spoiling it for all those people who haven't watched. No, absolutely not. The pit of rage that boiled into my stomach. It didn't even take me three months. I said nope. I will not accept this fate. And I didn't I don't even think I told you, did I? No. I didn't tell anyone. I was so embarrassed about how angry I was about it. I didn't even tell my therapist. I didn't tell my therapist until I was done. You didn't tell freaking ass. So I spent out of the balloon. It was. I spent all of 202. Five. Yeah. I spent all of 2025. rewriting season sixteen. Not even rewriting it, just writing it because it doesn't even exist. Season sixteen of Supernatural. Because I hated how it ended and I said, no, we won't tol we will not tolerate this. And I know all the fans, the good ones. The good ones will be in solidarity with me. So I wrote season sixteen. And then I couldn't stop. I was like, well now I have to send it to somebody. So then I s for some ungodly reason decided it would be a great idea to email it to Jared and Jensen s and their agents, which of course did not email me back because Did you follow up okay crazy person? No, because they can't look at it anyways, because I found that out because sex after I finished it. Yep. I went to a s convention for Supernatural. A supernatural call. I did, and it was actually very fun. It was so much fun. Like a comic. I met a lot of really cool people, okay? And everyone I told about it literally said we need to make this happen. All of them. So I'm just say even she said I should make it happen. She was you like Supernatural. Yes. I will give it to you. It's good. I was like not to toot toot my own horn, but I'm actually really impressed with myself. It was well written. I'm very impressed with myself. Either way, if any of you out there know Eric Kripke have his email, that would be weird. I can't just email him. Well, I mean I could. You can't just. I mean I technically did email his agents and they did not email me back. Surprise. Hello. Follow up. I know I need to either way. They're busy. Okay? They're busy. They're famous people. They have things going on. And he has like eighteen million shows. He's right up there with Taylor Sheridan now. They got like four million shows each. It's ridiculous. Either way, if anyone out there knows Kripkey, send him away. I'll hook you all up with season sixteen. It's gonna be good. I'm just it's gonna be good. And I have some really funny shit in there. You're gonna have to get Taylor on board. Don't spoil it, you dickhead! Fucking a Don't worry, I'll call her too. Okay. Anyways. what else do we have on our agenda of episode one? my nose inches. People will be able to send us questions at what I I did clu I did create the email this weekend. I'm so scared. So that will be posted in the reference area of the podcast. I mean you make a little weird, but like Nothing inappropriate. On a scale of zero to ten, don't go above a seven. We we'll tolerate some weird, but don't make it weird. I mean you can send us weird, we just won't answer them. Actually no, send them to us because we'll still laugh. And we'll answer them to ourselves, but we won't answer on here. However, depending on how funny it makes us laugh, we might be answering on here. Anyways, so questions will be available. Like we would love for people to send questions in. so we can answer them on the podcast. We plan on hosting people. That comes along so if you have like recommendations or requests for people, obviously we are not going to be getting famous people on here anytime soon. So don't go out off the rocker with that. We'll make a list. Send us everybody. Correct. Do we want to run through the players of the game? Like We had mentioned previously, like the people in our corners all the time. Yeah, like you've got Andrea and your parents. So I've got my parents. I mean, probably just call my parents. Your parents. we have Andrea, who unfortunately is moving to Bakersfield. So upset about I know. She'll be back next year though. So excited. Andrea's great. Erica. Erica. Erica's wonderful. Erica will also be on the podcast at some point. Yes. We have Shannon who will also be on the podcast. At some point. Yeah. Shan's an equine specialist that works with me through equine therapy. And so technically so is Andrea, but Andrea is also a therapist. so they'll be on. I'm trying to think. We've got a couple students we'll probably bring on at some point. Yep. those are the main ones. And then I know we're really gonna get confused because your wife's name is Sean. And no, I have Shane. Yep. That's gonna be real fucking confusion. That's gonna be dicey, yes. So I've got Especially because everyone already calls Shane Sean. That's a problem. Yeah. Well, not everyone. Jesse Angelina. Jesse Angelina. Well, okay, that wraps. so I've got Sean, my wife. I've got Casey, my daughter. there you go. My teenager. Yeah. we've got Christy. Christy. Christy is her therapist. Kelly. Kelly is my therapist. Shout out to Christy of twelve years. Love Christy. You will hear about her all the time. Sorry about it. Not sorry. Christy is so excited. She gives a shout out. Whatever. No, she won't. She's not she's totally gonna listen and then pretend she didn't listen. And then she's eventually gonna blow her cover. Yeah, we see see you, Christy. She is very quick to Google shit when I bring something too. I'm sure. She we see you, Christy. We know what you're doing. Yes. She's just like me. We know what you doing It's fine. Anyway, words are hard. Anywho, today we thought we would play the question game so that you guys could get to know us because technically we have already done this episode one time and is born AF so we decided to do something different because it was it was we couldn't we couldn't do that to you guys. That would be rude. No one would ever come back. So how do you want do you want to read the p the questions? Mm-hmm did you need to get your readers? I've discovered recently that I need readers. She's like this. Legit. I discovered it this weekend. It's like it's been literally Well and remember when we were trying to report Costco the Intro when I'm like fucking all shut. Yeah, that's when it started, and then it was like on the cruise all of a sudden I couldn't fucking read shit. And I was like, it's happening. Did you get off in Alaska and go get some readers? No, I just went and bought some this weekend. No. And then I forgot the one my dad was. Well, of course. Anyhow. Anyways. Okay. Welcome to the podcast. Here we go. Alright, we're gonna start with what movie never fails to make you cry? Movie? Are you even a movie crier? yeah. Recently. It's probably within the last ten years. When I was my twenties, I was Stone Cold Bitch. But now apparently in my 30s, it's significantly shifted. I don't know. But for some reason, it's usually when men cry. If men cry in a movie, I can't do it. I can't do it. Cannot. Women, I'm like Whatever. Christ. This again? This again? For some re I don't know why. I don't know why. But men? Ooh, gets me every time. But I'm trying to think of a movie. There's gotta be one. I know when I was a kid it was Airbud. I couldn't watch Airbud. It literally would make me ball. Like the dog die? No. I don't even think it dies. I think he runs away and gets lost or I don't know. And then the kid finds him and so positive that I don't think he dies. But that one got me every time. I like had to couldn't watch it anymore. That is holy. Yeah, I don't know why. But as an adult, nothing? I haven't watched it ever since. No, I mean any other movies. I d I don't know. I would really have to think about that because I don't watch a lot of movies that would be like tear jerkers. Emotional resonance. Yeah, no, I don't watch a lot of No, God no. It's the proposal. Not the proposal. Not the proposal. I was like what? No. That one's funny. it's PS I Love You. I don't think I've ever actually seen that movie. With Gerard Butler. I don't know. I've never seen that one. One. He's my You're gonna find out really quick that the movie has been. I I don't watch a lot. I just can't. No rom coms are not my jam. But this one's not a rom com well, I I guess it has kind of funny. It's more of but it's like all about grief. that makes sense for you. Yeah, it's like an easy fall into like heavy emotions. I don't do that shit. Yep. I go for the wreck it raph. Kick everybody ass and Wreck It Ralph Not literally, but like just the punching and whole thing. The action. That for me is my thing, yeah. Yes. The adrenaline junkie, because apparently my anxiety's not enough for my body. It just needs more. Okay. So then what movie could you watch over and over again and still think is like fucking hilarious? Hilarious? Well movie? Yeah. But that's not a movie. That's not a movie. To me over and over. Okay. It's not even that funny, but recently Lost City with Channing Tatum and Sandra Bullock makes me laugh. my god. It's not even- I don't know, it's not even that funny, but for it makes me cackle. Like stupid, stupid cackle. I just watched a movie the other night with Shane that made me cackle out loud, and he was like, What else didn't even? I was don't know what that was funny to me. I don't know, I like weird dry humor. You do. Like we were watching Jog w John Wick the other night and there's a part where the r the first one where the Russian guy calls and he's like, Why did you hit my son? and he's like, 'Cause he stole John Wick's car and he was like, and then he just hangs up. That made me laugh. Like that's my humor. I'm like, So hard to pick I mean the John Wicks actually do have a couple funny parts. Yeah, but that's not a comedy. It's not a comedy. I don't know, I don't I don't watch a l I guess I don't watch a lot of comedies either. They don't even have to be comedies. I don't know. I'd have to really think well, okay, so like the heat for one. fuck, yes. Okay. Or spy with Moses McCarthy. With her and Jason Satham. Okay. Especially the beginning. I cannot. Or the end where they're in bed together and she's just fucking making I can't. Most McCarthy cracks me up. Correct. She's hilarious to me. And then my other one is Deadpool. See, Deadpool doesn't make me laugh that much. There is I don't know what it is. I don't know. Yeah, he doesn't make me laugh that much. There's something about that. There's so many aspects of those movies that just crack me the F up. Yeah, I'm trying to. Okay. How far would you make it in a zombie apocalypse? I would die immediately. I already know. Would you die immediately because you don't have skills or because you would fawn? Fawn. I wouldn't go down like that, but like I'd probably end up hurting myself. Like I'd pull up my mom and I'd fall. like you'd hurt my I'd hurt myself or something, you know what mean? Yeah. I don't have that many skills. I mean I I mean I'm a big I'm a big lady, so like I can throw my body around a little bit, but like I'm also not fast. So it depends. Can the zombies run or are they walkers? Are we talking like World War Z or are we talking about like walking dead? but they walk and they're like and then the running ones, they like run. Like they're very fast. Like they're fast. Yes. And if that one, I would just give up. Just surrender. Because I'm first of all, when I run I look like a fucking cartoon. Okay, so that's not gonna work. That's no. There's gotta be some sort of jiff to that. What I would do Okay, is it GIF or GIF? It's gif GIF. I'm pretty sure it's GIF. GIF? GIF is like a J. It's literally GIF peanut butter. That's J-I-F. So GIF. Yes, I'm pretty sure it's GIF. Any anyways, we are geeking so anyways. I would listen, this would be my thing. I would either hunker down on a Costco or a Cabela's. Preferably a Costco next to a Cabela's. If I can make that happen I would survive for a long time. That's legit. Because what I would do g okay, hear me out. What I would do is have you ever seen Employee of the Month? With Dane Cook and Jessica Simpson? Yes. They work at like a Costco-E type place. Yes. Okay, that's what I would do. I would create a freaking house up on the rafters with all the boxes around so no one would even know I'm there. And then I'd eat the food at Costco. I was gonna say, you'd have endless Costco hot dogs. Toilet paper. Okay, endless tissues, and I could lock the door so no one can come in. Except for the people I allow and plus hot dogs. Hot dogs. And pizza. Mm-hmm. And you'd if you're next to the Cabellas you'd ha endless to weapons. Exactly. I would just go move it over to Costco because I wouldn't be able to lock Cabellas up nearly as much as I could log up with Costco. So I have a plan. So I could potentially survive if I could get to a Costco fast enough. I'm dying. And then I would have to I will never look at Costco. I would have to call all my friends and tell them to hurry up. You have a code word to get in and everything. I will never look at Costco. You're welcome. That is so amazing. I really thought that through. You're welcome. Would you die? Not now, because you'd be in Costco with me. I'd be in Costco with you. I'd like to think that I'm resourceful enough to make it at least. I like to think that you would ride your scooter to Costco. Yes. Absolutely. my god, hurt her. Why I bought her some electric scooters. And they ride them everywhere. Like real solid goes 30 miles an hour electric scooters. That we stand on and we ride all over town. In the middle of the night nonetheless. Yeah, they don't even do it during the day, they don't. They're Too many cars. We do it in the middle of the night. Where the only cars out are the police officers yelling at us. Okay, next. Next. How would you describe yourself in three words? Loud. Facetious. What does that word even mean? I'm a potster. okay. To me, I think I'm like I think I hope that's what that means. I feel like I hear that word and every time I feel like I have to look it up. Which is hilarious because one of my words was gonna be like intellectual and then I'm like, I don't even know what that word means. Throw that one out the door. I don't even know. Like I actually think I could maybe use the word funny, which is not a word that I could have used I would agree with that. Many years ago. and creative. I would use creative as yes, I would agree with that. A hundred percent. My third. Okay. if you had the option to press a button and restart your life, would you press it? No. I would not. I like I don't know how to answer that question. B that's because you had a very different life than I did. Correct. And also you like where you are now. Exactly. So like if I push the button would I redo part of it and still end up here? Well that's because to me, like, that's not how that works. No. So Yeah, you would end up somewhere. Yeah, you would end up somewhere completely different. Correct. And that could be way otherwise. Which means you cannot push the button because if you push the button then I'm fucked because then none of this exists. So you're stuck with it. You can't push the button. I'm not allowed You're not allowed to fuck up my life, Melissa Which is such an interesting thing to think about. yeah. When people are like, Yeah, I push the button but like the impact that has on everyone around you. Hashtag butterfly effect. Totally. So many. Ooh. Okay. If you could move to another country for free, which would you pick? Costa Rica. Yeah, that wasn't a hard one. Yeah, it was like that wasn't a hard one. Costa Rica. Hands down. See, and here's the thing, I've never been outside the country minus my two seconds in British Columbia. 'Cause I'm like, bitch, let's go to Costa Rica. You would die. I would die. Literally almost. Yeah. See, but I would like to think that I could live Somewhere cool like Ireland or See, I don't know about a word. Greece or somewhere. Greece I would do. Somewhere. Although I'm I've heard that Greece is kind of grimy. I have also heard that. Which is why I like Costa Rica, 'cause it's all the good things. Yeah, everybody loves Costa Rica. I know. Hands down. Live on the beach. What food or snack that other people love do you think is overrated? I feel like this is a really actually a hard question. What kind of snack? Yeah. Or food. Tomatoes and mushrooms. They gross me out. They can't be consistent. Like one minute they're soggy and gross and the next minute they're crunchy and poking you in the eyeball and like you know, you like bite a tomato and it squirts all its juices out. Poking you in the oven. Mushrooms are rubbery. Ew. Why are why would you put that in your mouth? Absolutely not. I mean, granted, there are a lot of questionable things that people put in their mouths. So like mushrooms probably not the worst. Gross. Touche. We can think about it a lot of directions. Rubbery is no. Ew. No. But those are not a snack. I I guess we did say food. We did say food. Cause snacks is a whole different that's hard. That is hard. Seaweed. Talkies. I don't know if I've ever had them. So I'm gonna stay away from them and just continue to not have them. Trust your judgment on that one. I just I'm gonna just agree with you on that because the name sounds weird. What is your worst habit? Well so many. no. It depends who you ask. It does depend on who you ask. It does depend on who you ask. Because if I asked you, you would say that I hate cleaning. Correct. I'd be like, Your worst habit is not cleaning your room. Hey you know what though? You can thank Shane. My entire room and bathroom have never been this clean. I can imagine. My car is still clean. Don't bring him to the office. Yeah, that probably wouldn't happen. Well, I mean that's not that bad. Compared to like what it has been. Yeah, not I This is why you do the things. This is why I exist. This is exactly why you exist. I I live on a farm. My entire life is dirty. That is true. And funny story, my boyfriend has O C D and Yep. Is a clean freak. So I when I'm interesting combination to say the least. Yeah, it's it's poor guy. Let's just put it that way. Poor guy Poor guy. He's I feel bad for him. He keeps coming back. I don't know. He does keep coming back. He really likes that exposure therapy. Well it's working. Apparently. But is it working for him or is it working for you? I don't know. Because I think it's working the other way around. I don't know. I feel like I mean, I don't know. He g I don't know. Listen, I bought him a shower head, okay? He's very excited about his new shower head in my house. We're taking it too far. No! shower head my god No my shower head sucks and he was all up in arms about it because he was like if I'm gonna stay here and I'm gonna go to work the next day I need to have a shower that doesn't feel like I'm at jail and I said that's also that's valid. I don't think it's that bad and then he was like No, it's bad. Actually it it dribbles. And I was like it does not dribble he's being dramatic. It does not dribble However I bought him the freaking shower head he wants and now I'm like okay I'll give it to you like I'll give one point for you. This was A great showerhead choice. I'll all he literally got into the shower this morning. He was like, Yes! my goodness, so excited. So love that. Wait until you just wait. Just wait. She hasn't met him yet. She's very excited to meet him. Yes. Yep. Well, I feel like this question could go many ways. My worst habit is wanting to control absolutely everything and everyone. True story. Or you're doing a lot better. A lot better. So much better. second to that would probably be leaving my shoes in really inconvenient places. Sorry, Sean. That's nice. I think that It's it's a really bad It is. I leave my shoes where everyone almost dies because I strip on them. All the time. And I think about it when I do it, which is even more fucked up. I'm like, this is gonna be a regrettable choice later. And someone's going to someone's going to yell at me, but it'll be a later me problem. I can't deal with this right now. So then it's it's a later me problem every time. Do you nope, I don't like that question. Stupid. Stop trying to control my answers. What's the most used emoji on your phone? the laughing one. Hands down. Yeah, agreed. Or yeah, hands down the laughing one. Yeah, I don't know if I use any other emojis, to be totally honest. I don't no. No, it's just the laughing one. Maybe the middle finger every now and then, but mostly mostly the laughing one. If you could swap lives with anyone, who would it be? Ooh, is it permanently or just like a one day thing? Let's say one day. Okay, Taylor Swift. One hundred fucking percent. I don't know why I thought that was exactly who you were gonna say. Only because only because do we okay. So many questions. Only because I wanna know what the Eras tour was like from her perspective. Literally that's it. I just wanna just know what is it like to be that famous. For w one it could be one hour. I don't even care. It could be two minutes. I just wanna just wanna know. What was that even like? Yep. What is it like to have people f I mean, obviously it probably fucking sucks ass, but like what is it like to have people love you so much and also fucking hate your guts, sir for no reason. For no reason. Literally, she's like the nicest person I've ever heard of. She's so nice, everybody, all the time. Even when she writes mean songs, she's still nice. Like she is still like I could have said so much meaner things. Well, and it's interesting because you're always wondering, well, at least I always wonder, are they actually nice in the background? Like are they talking shit in the background? But like her? I don't think she is. But like you have to be so fucking careful to not get caught being blackmailed with that later that I feel like she is so intelligent to not do that. But I think she just genuinely is nice. Yeah. Come on. Yep. Like, I'm not even that big of a Swifty, but like all the success for her. I want her to be loved long time by her husband. Like just I want her to all the success. Yep. You go to Swift. Which is also why I wrote you. to a supernatural episode because I'm like my girl. She seems like she would be down to like have a fun, like totally one off random episode. Plus Travis, fuck, you cannot tell me that man would not have fun pretending to be a monster hunter for one day. Come on. Dude. Come on. I think both of like the idea of that is just And them doing together? Yeah. They would love that. Yes. I'm just gonna prescribe that for them. You guys would love it. You should say yes. In fact, I bet you if you said yes, Eric would do it. Eric might sign on just because they said yes. Maybe I should go that route. Maybe I should call t maybe I should call Taylor and Travis first. Legit. I might have better luck. Yes. Taylor, Travis. Hit me up. Hit a girl up. I will send you the episode so you know exactly what you're in for and Travis, you're gonna love it. You're gonna have so much fun. I mean so will you, Taylor. But Travis really's gonna like it because He looks like a giant child. Yes. And he's gonna let him and Dean together? Come on. Him and Dean together would just be funny to watch. Plus he's massive. True. What was the original question? Swap lives. Mm-hmm. Yes. I don't actually know. I feel like you would totally do Mariska. I would say that. Yes. And or Like her life has blown up so much. But you can go back. Go back to like her olden days. There's no time frame. Yeah, that's true. I feel like either that's the only person that you really are like or Christy. No. No. Nope. I know I know history there. I don't want that life. Violation. I don't want that life. I don't want to deal with the shit she's dealt with. Anywho, continue. Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think of who you would like. Cher. Okay, that I could see. or like somebody in the orchestra that you like to go watch? T S O. Uh-huh. I like the Care idea. See, I think you would have fun with Cher. Mm-hmm. Also another badass human. Yes, she is fun. Okay. Let's see here. what are people almost always surprised to learn about you? Ugh. I don't know. I don't think any I don't know if anyone's ever surprised to learn anything about me. I don't know, like I mean I'm terrible liars, so like I don't terrible liar. I like how we went to liar I don't know if well just I just don't know if I don't know if anyone would think, yeah, that tracks. Although Brianna, my best friend for many, many years, is always flabbergasted at the fact that I ha I own animals and live on a like a ranch. It gets her every time. Really? She's like, What do you mean you own goats? Like, who are you? Yes, it weirds her out every time. See, that's that's funny because But to me I'm like everyone's like, Yeah, that directs. That's the only version of you I know. So like I can't see anything else. Interesting. Yeah. So I don't I don't know. I think one of the things that I Honestly, maybe that I'm a fairy that I could see as being surprised to be. Hmm. That was an interesting life choice. Yes. See how far that. My chosen career. Your chosen career. Instead of chemistry. I I wanna be a pharmacist. Still. And I wanna be a vet, but then chemistry was just I I gotta listen. I was good at chemistry. Okay I I got a scholarship for it. Hard pass. However, I did not like the way it was taught and I did knew I was not gonna do well because I knew I wasn't gonna learn. So I said no. Hard pass. Psychology it is. Nope. Hard jump to a very different life. To a very different life. Yes. Okay, this goes straight to one of our favorite songs. Who would you trust to help you bury a body? By being totally honest, Angelina. fucking lootly that bitch would no one would ever know no one would ever find it nope no one would ever know she would nope nope that's amazing nope that she would take that to the grave I'd love that what would you what would you do I The fact that I came out with that so quick is making it. That is I feel like you've thought about that. Well yeah, of course I have. my I live in the country and need to assess my life, okay. I need to assess my options on this. Sometimes people come out, they are like I probably the closest to safe trust would probably be you. I do know what to do because I know Angelina, so that would be a good option. I trust Ashley because I Ashley would just call Angeline. No, because she never had that conversation. So I always go what she would do. How many bottles of wine would be in? No, she also watches a lot of murder porn. So like that's all she sleeps to that shit. So she knows all the things. There's a lot to be said about that. Yeah, she sleeps to that, so. Okay. What is something people misunderstand about you? Ooh, people think I'm a bitch. Legit. But I'm really not. Nope. I think I don't know if it's a misunderstanding. I think it's an underestimation. Yeah, people underestimate you a for some reason. I don't know why. Underestimating my rightness. Yes, I don't know why they do that. Especially doctors. I just it's a thing and it sounds very cocky and like proud of me to say like I'm I'm almost always right. But I am almost always right. And it's very annoying because sometimes like we'll meet somebody like a new therapist and I'll be like hey I want you to meet this person and she'll meet them and ten seconds in she'll be like no absolutely not and I'll be like why? She goes I don't know but my t my tummy says no. Yeah my tum my tummy says absolutely not and then sure as shit six months later we're like yeah that was a no that was a duh Definitely gotta pass on that one. Yeah, I don't it's happened many times, so I just now whenever she says no, I'm like heard moving on. Correct. Very annoying. My instincts are almost never wrong, and when I speak on like different topics, I don't speak unless I know what I'm talking about. And so I'm very it's annoying in the best way possible. Correct. Anywho. Alright, one more. what's your biggest fear? Ooh, let's see if I know what your biggest fear is because I have an idea. Like a legitimate one or like like irrational fear. Or both. I don't care. Let's do both. Okay. My base irrational fear is being meeting by a shark. I do not see I do not. I do not. Do open water. It's not not as I've gotten older, it is like a hard no for me. Knees and below is fine. Go into my hips, I'll do it. But I'm like, if I can't see the bottom, I'm like, scan. Scan. Which is stupid because I'm not gonna fucking see it. It's not above the water and I can't see the water. So it's dumb. I'm aware. But that big time. Okay. Which is funny 'cause I wanna move fucking Costa Rica. I just won't go in the water, I'll stay on the beach. It's fine. I know. There's two possibilities. Okay, which one are you answering? I you to tell me yours because I want to tell you right. About yours? Yeah. So it to me this it could go either direction. Fear of being alone for the rest of your life. That I don't care. Or financial ruin. That's I mean. Those play into each other for a moment. I am more afraid of being alone because I'm afraid I'm not gonna be able to financially like Handle what I have. Right. In the sense of like Yeah, that makes me nervous. especially because I'm self-employed, right? But there's that. My other one is like disappointing my parents. Shut up. yeah. You wanna send me into a fucking absolute anxiety attack? I do feel like we've talked about Set me up with a situation where I feel like I have severely disappointed my parents. Does not go well. Does not go well. That's why I'm so successful. You live out of anxiety and fear. All the time. All the time. It's super exciting. my god. I know one of yours. Which is interesting 'cause I'm like, I don't know, do I have any peers? this bitch over here. Okay, what do you think minus? Abandonment. Specifically from Christine. Which I do feel like to be fair, Christine, I recently had this conversation. I'm like, I do think that I would be totally fine. you would be fine, but you would absolutely have a menti B about it first. I would. And that menti B would probably last for at least a month. And then you'd get over it and then you'd be fine. And then I'd be fine. You'd think about how you could run your car off multiple hills before then, but don't tell her that he would be saying we'll edit that out. Like s concrete fears. Like Sean's got insane fears of spiders and shit. Like she runs around our house all day. Yeah, what's your irrational fear? I don't know that I your irrational fear is having to wear socks all day. Yeah. You hate socks. It's there's just not like I'm not afraid I don't fear of bugs or animals or Heights? No. Yeah, you don't like heights. I am fine with heights. shit, when you had to get on that ladder when we had to frickin' paint in our building, I thought you were gonna pee on me under the ladder, holding the ladder up. That was like eighteen feet tall. That was all that was not weird tall. It's not eighteen feet. And it was on a single twelve feet tall. It is absolutely more than twelve feet tall. To get you those windows. I am five foot actually might I might actually be right off car. Get him out and I'm like, wait. I literally was going, you unsacking. That's how I measure things all the time. My height. I have five feet soon and measure me. I lay down on shit to measure me. Legitimately. Okay, so like that was a single rein. That was not like a tri or like a double-legged You're not wrong. If that was a double legged that would not have been a concern. That was a single rein wobbly fucking ladder. And you had me at the bottom being like, You'll be fine And like talking and looking around, not paying any attention if I was gonna fall off on my fucking You're not wrong. I did get very distracted. But it's fine. Everything went fine. my gosh. Okay, one more, one more. That was a good one. Okay. Urrrr let's do what's your love language? physical touch. Fuck. That's the hard th sh poor Shane. That man doesn't get any sleep because he I not because of that. Because it's summer and it's hot. I always have to be touching him all the time. But poor guy. He handles it like a champ. Do you guys turn on your AC yet? Yeah our AC's always on. It's on like eighty-two degrees. No, it's not. It's on like seventy. Sixty-seven. No. Sixty-eight? Something like that. But no, it's on and it's way cooler in my room. But like because my windows get the first sun of the day. Yeah. My room gets real hot. So like, poor guy. had to really adjust my bedding because like I d you don't I don't use a top sheet. I use my sheets at all. I mean I do, I put the sheets on the bed. I just don't use them. You're not just sleeping right on the mat on a raw mattress. No, like I put the sheets on it, but I just sleep on top of the sheets and I just use a comforter. Right. Yeah, it's a hard no for him. So he's he needs the top sheet 'cause he's a man and apparently men are sweaty and get all hot super easy. And I'm like, What is this business? I just sleep under the comforter and I live my best life and I sleep. He can't he does he can't do that. So I had to like readjust. So like had to get rid of the comforter. So now I sleep under the top sheet. But he's super fucking hot all the time, so I don't really need it because it's like a furnace, which works out really nicely until he has to fucking leave and then I freeze my ass off. So then I have to get up and go get the fucking comforter. But mine is definitely a physical touch. Definitely physical touch. I would say acts of service too. Yeah. However, I will fight tooth and fucking nail because I'm hashtag hyper independent and don't like letting people do things for me. Right. but I would agree with When people do do things for me, I'm like they love me. That's so great. And it doesn't even have to be big things, like No. That that's So mine I think are like words of affirmation and then probably acts of service, but it's always the small things. Yeah. Right? Like Sean will r set out like an empty coffee cup for me in the morning or she'll like refill the tiniest thing in like house for me. And then like or like when our coffee thing runs out in the fridge, she opens the new one, like the stupid foil thing. Yeah. On the next one, even though she's not using it, she opens it for me so I don't have to. And it's like those little things. I'm like, my god, I love love this. Yeah. It's those little moments. Yeah. It doesn't take much. Yeah, no, I struggle with letting people do things for me. Especially partners. But I think that's also because I've had a lot of shitty partners who like I have to do everything. You have to parent. Yes. Literally. So then like like I put it funny story, I literally just had a conversation with Shannon about this earlier today. 'Cause I'm like, Trying to balance like showing my appreciation. It's alert like not doing it for him because he gets all grouchy with me and he's like, You don't have to refill my water for me. And I'm like, I'm already going upstairs. Like I was just asking. Don't be mad. I just wanna be nice to you. I can be mean. I don't want to though. Don't make mean. No. So yeah, that one's a hard one for me, is trying to balance that. Because I want people to do things for me. But like also don't do things for me. Correct. Because then I'm vulnerable and I don't wanna have to get used to it. Yikes, yeah. Hundred percent. I'm not good at words of affirmation, really feel very bad for you. I actually don't feel like many people are. I'm terrible at it. Guys like I don't even sell we don't celebrate the holidays really or like birthdays in my family. I thought Melissa was gonna burst at the seams when she found out I don't do birthdays. like two years ago. Was this two years ago? The surprise one? Yes. Yeah. Two years ago her wife texts me and goes, Hey, we're doing a surprise party for Melissa at this place, da da da da da. So don't tell her. And it starts at this time, so hope you can come. So then the bitch ignores me all day long. I did. I said already said I'm a terrible liar. She was so butthurt that I didn't tell her happy birthday because I knew if I said happy birthday, she'd be like, thanks. The expectation is then to say, What are you doing tonight? To which she would say, I don't We should go to dinner or something and then I have to lie and I can't lie. So I just avoided her all day and she did not like that to the point that one of our other therapists got her this person. So butthurt that I didn't say happy birthday. She left it out. I set it on the counter counter where she knew I would see it. And it was like, fuck you. I still didn't say anything for like six hours. Then she left and she texted. Sean Texas, she was like, Did you not say happy birthday? no, I'm a bad liar. Sean was dying. Yeah. She could not stop laughing. And then I showed up to the party and Melissa was like, this makes so much more sense. So much more sense. I was like, you were so mad. She was like, I was pissed. Yep. Pissed. I was like, I was forgotten. Yeah, nope. It was very fucking funny. So I have learned birthdays are a big deal for Melissa. So I do birthdays for her. For me. Only Melissa. I don't do birthdays really for anyone else. Although I do do birthdays for some some other people. Yeah. Just not a lot of them. Pick and choose. My partners will do them for. Nieces and nephews. Yeah, I'll do it for them. But like That's about it. But they're kids, so like you you kinda have to. Like Do you? Yeah, you gotta celebrate. Absolutely. But like other than that, you're an adult. You already have You're an adult. You can buy your own shit. You already have all the things you need. If I'm gonna give you some, I'm gonna pay a bill for you. That makes that would make an adult so much more excited. It's so true. Like here, pay my phone bill. Deal. Forty dollars. Forty dollars. Seventy dollars. Whose phone bill is forty dollars? Mine? fuck off. Mine's forty dollars. But I'm also on a phone plan with like eight people. So it's there's that. Anywho, that was way better than the first one. Agreed. That was so much more fun. The last one still have to ask guys. So you're welcome. We put all the effort in to do a different one. Totally. That's how committed we are. So, next episode will be a breakdown of like the different therapists. No therapy No, that's e that's episode three. Episode that's episode three. Episode three is a breakdown of different kinds of therapists. Episode two is what the fuck is therapy. Yeah, we're gonna break down what therapy even is. That's right. Technically we were supposed to do what the fuck are therapists and the different kinds today. But then we decided to redo this one because the other one sucked. And now we don't have time to Yeah, well that's what happens when we talk. It never ends. Womp womp. Anyway. We only went over by two minutes. That's not bad. We're doing pretty good. I know, this is pretty damn good. Doing pretty good. So send in questions if you have them. It doesn't matter if it's about therapy. It doesn't matter if it's about us. It doesn't matter if it's about anything. Space, we'll look it up. Yeah. We'll answer it. May not be the right answer, but we'll look it up. Send us questions. If you so choose. That's a noise modest. We have a hundred and something episodes planned. No, don't worry. So we won't run dry. I can tell you that right now. I didn't like that. You need to say that different. That was weird. We won't run out of episodes or things to talk about. We won't run dry. Okay. god. See you for the next episode. if you come back. If you come back.