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Grace Explained 117_You Do Not have to have Dinner with them · Grace Explained

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Grace Explained.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: We are going to look at today a scripture, a passage of scripture that kind of helps us with how we deal with people.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things about understanding grace, and one of the things about understanding who we are in Christ, is also how we deal with people.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And as much as I would love to say, hey, we get along with everybody, and everybody's a uh we have no issues with, and no one has anything bad to say about us, we don't have anything bad to say about anybody else.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's just not true.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um we're still humans, we still got a human nature, and we still do things and say things that offend people, or they do things or say things that offend us, and then how do we deal with it?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: And then after we deal with it, you know, what happens after that when we see them?
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So if you will, let's look at Romans chapter 12, and we're gonna read this whole passage of scripture, uh, but there's one particular verse that we're gonna look at, but we'll we'll start in Romans chapter chapter twelve and verse nine.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Let love be without dissimulation, abhor that which is evil, cleave to that which is good, be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, and honor preferring one another.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Not slothful in business, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord, rejoicing in hope, patience and tribulation, continuing instant in prayer, distributing to the necessity of the saints given to hospitality.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Bless them which persecute you, bless and curse not, rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Be of the same mind one toward another, mind not high things, but condescend a men of low estate.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Be not wise in your own conceits, recompense no man evil for evil, prof but provide provide things honest in the sight of all men.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: If it be if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, saith the Lord.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Therefore, if thine enemy hunger, feed him.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: If he thirst, give him drink, for in so doing thou shalt heap whole coals of fire on his head.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: The verse where we really want to talk about is verse eighteen, if it be possible, as much as lieth in you live peaceably with all men.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: I I titled this podcast You Do Not Have to Have Dinner with Them.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason I did that is because people think when someone offends you, hurts you, does something towards you, um, you know, how we're supposed to act towards them, what we're supposed to do, and we're gonna talk a little bit about that, and then and then um how we're to deal with it.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: But the big thing is is well, when I see them again, how am I to react?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, is everything to be back to where it was?
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: And there is a thing about reconciliation, and the the word reconciliation was which is to bring back to its former state.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: And there are things where we do want people to reconcile.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: And you do want a husband and wife, if there's uh an issue with the husband and wife and there seems to be a problem or a separation, you would like for the that husband and wife to reconcile and be be every that relationship be brought back, and that relationship be back to the former state that it was.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, when we think about recruit reconciliate reconciliation, we talk about how we're reconciled to God, how that how that God created us in his own image, he created us for the purpose of fellowshipping with him, but then we have issues, then then we go and sin, we do what we want to do, all those things.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then God He goes ahead and He looks at us, and and it's through the blood of Christ, because we're sinners, we can't have that same relationship with God that Adam had before he fell, before he ate he ate of the fruit.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And now that he ate of the fruit, we're all sinners, and because of our sin nature, we're there's a separation with God.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: But through the blood of Christ, we are reconciled back unto God, and we're reconciled into that place of favor where God looks at us and he doesn't see us any different than he did back before Adam fell.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: He he sees us as a full-grown mature son of God in Christ Jesus.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: So we we talk about this passage of scripture, which is a great passage of scripture to read just to help get through when you're like, what do I do?
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: How do I deal with these things?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, very quickly, we'll we'll read again in verse 9.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Let love be without dissimulation, abhor that which is evil, and cleave to that which is good.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, what you want to do is the things that are evil you shouldn't be a part of, things that are good, those are what you should be going towards.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then you look at verse 10 and he says, Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love, and honor preferring one another.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And when you look at that, when you see that you're to be affectionate to uh one another with brotherly love.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, people talk about how that that blood is stronger than water, and that when when you have a family bond that that's stronger than than just friends.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, a family bond is something that that's because you're blood.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: You're you you have the same mother, you have the same father, and you're blood.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: And so because of that, you should you should you there's a difference in a relationship between uh siblings, between a brother and a sister, or a brother and a brother, or a sister and a sister.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um they talk about twins.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Uh we had in our our local church, we had a couple of sets of twins, and the one thing is twins have a very different bond than just regular brothers and sisters.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what it's just a different bond, it's a special bond.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because they shared that womb together, because they were delivered together, because there's just something about it where they they just have a different bond than they do with their other brothers and sisters.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_00: Nothing wrong with it, it's just what it is, and um I'm sure it's very scientific, and there's just that special bond between twins, but there's also a special bond between siblings, between brothers and sisters.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Ephesians chapter four, he says in verse one, Therefore, I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, with all loneliness and meekness and longsuffering, forbearing one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: You see, there's something that Paul is trying to get across to the Romans, to the Ephesians, to the Philippians, to the Colossians, to really all the members of the body of Christ, is that there's something that he wants us to be kindly, first of all, he wants us to be kind to one another.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: He wants us to be kindly, affectionate to one another, with what?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: A brotherly love.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you see in Ephesians 4 and verse 2, he says there, with all loneliness and meekness, with long suffering, forbearing one another in love.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: You see, there are things that people do that bother you.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: There are things that I do that bother people, there are things that other people do that bother me.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: There are things, and we could say something about it every time, we could we could look at them dirty every time, we could do whatever and let them know that, hey, what you're doing is bothering me, or we could forbear them.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: And the reason you forbear them is you forbear them in love.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: You see, you forbear them in love because of what that that true definition of love is.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Love is something, it's not the love that we think of where it's a it's a it's a love where we think of oh um oh I love you in a in a sexual manner.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that type of, there's a there's that agape love, there's an a there's a love that we all have or should have that is something that goes further than just I love you, it means something more.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at Philippians 2, and and the best way to show this to you is just read the verse and have the verse give you the definition.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at Philippians chapter 2 and verse 2, fulfill ye my joy that ye might that ye be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: So he's telling the Philippians, hey, I want you guys all to have the same love.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: You you should all love each other the same way.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: You should all love each other the exact same.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_00: There, there's no difference in how you should love one another.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Be this be like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, being of one mind.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: He then he says, let nothing be done through strife or vainglory.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: Listen, don't do things that that's going to be strife.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: You should be, you should have the same mind loving one another, and let the love be the thing that motivates you to do things.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: He says, but in loneliness of mind, he says, let nothing be done through strife or vainglory, but in loneliness of mind, let each esteem other better than themselves.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know what the definition of love is?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: The definition that God wants us to have to love someone is to esteem the other person better than yourselves.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: The definition that I I learned from about what love is, is to regard or esteem someone else higher than yourselves.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: So that means every time there's an issue, every time there's a problem, every time there's a situation, I shouldn't look at my needs, I shouldn't look at what what makes me happy, I shouldn't look at my things, but I should look at them.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: What are their needs?
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: What do they need me to do for them?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And folks, I'm not saying it's easy, I'm not saying that everybody does it, I'm not saying that I do it, and I'm not saying that I do it all the time, but I'm saying that the scriptures tell us that we need to esteem others better than ourselves.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: We need to think about the other person more than we think about ourselves.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: We need to regard them before ourselves.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: We need to, we want, we we should want to do for them more than us.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to a husband and wife, when it when it comes to a marriage, more marriages would be together, more marriages would, there would not be divorces if the husband thought about the wife before he thought about himself and wasn't selfish.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: There'd be more marriages that the wife thought about herself more than or for her husband more than she did herself.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if she thought about her husband more than she did herself, then she'd be wanting to serve him.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if the husband thought about his wife before himself, he'd be wanting to serve her.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: And they'd be wanting to do for each other.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And that's true love.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: To to want to serve and help and regard them before, I'll take care of myself first and then I'll help you.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: No, I it's not like when you're in a plane and they say when the air drops the the things drop for air, put it on your mask first before you help someone else.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: What we're supposed to do when it comes to serving one another is we're to serve them before we consider ourselves.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 4, look look not on every man on his look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: So what are we supposed to do?
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to take care of other people.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to consider other people.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about this, it's it's easy when you think about parents and children.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Most times, most parents will do anything for their children.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: They'll take care of their children, they'll they'll regard their children, they'll put their children first, especially a mother's love.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: When you when it talks about in 1 Corinthians 13 and it talks about charity, that's that's the idea.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: When it says charity it seeketh not her own, that means that that the mother doesn't put herself first.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: She's not seeking to take care of herself.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Her first and and only thing that she wants to do is take care of her child.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, this isn't this isn't, this isn't nature in itself.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: You look at a lot of nature, the the the the mother's always looking to take care of the baby.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to the human race, that's what the mother's supposed to do.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: This idea of of people, women, taking a child and throwing it in a dumpster and taking a child, you know, it's bad that it's come to a point where you can take a child and leave it at a fire station and just walk away and no questions asked.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: It should have never even come to that point.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: But the reason they had to start doing that is because people were killing babies or not even killing them, just leaving them somewhere and walking away because they didn't want to take care of that child.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's against nature.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: But when you truly love something, when you truly love that child, that you cherish it and you don't want anything to happen to that child.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's the kind of love we're to have.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're not to look on our own things, but we're to look and take care of the things of others.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: So that's what we need to have.
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_00: We need to have that kind of love, and we need to think about that again about the person who upset us, about the person who offended us, about the person who did something against us, how are we supposed to treat them?
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to be kindly affectionate one to another with brotherly love, preferring one another.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Romans chapter 12.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Romans chapter 12 and verse 14, he says, Bless them which persecute you, bless and curse not.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of people can't say that.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of unbelievers surely can't say that.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: They they want revenge, but a lot of Christians have a hard time with this.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of Christians get upset with someone and they get mad at them and they want nothing to do with them.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: And they would rather find a way to get back or do whatever.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: And he says to them, Bless them which persecute you.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Don't go after them.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: Don't try to hurt them, don't try to harm them.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: Bless them which persecute you, bless and curse not.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at Romans chapter 12 and verse 17, he says, Recompense to no man, evil for evil, provide things honest in the sight of all men.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, that goes against what Christ said in the Gospels when he says, an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: This idea of an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth, this idea if you take a life, you're gonna take a life, that's Old Testament.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's the law.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: The law was someone someone takes your eye, you take their eye.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: Someone takes your hand, you take their hand.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: Someone kills, you, you take them.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all the law.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Folks, we're not under the law.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're under grace.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, recompense no man evil for evil.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, I I hear this all the time.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: People talk about the abortion issue, and people would say, Well, what happens if a person is sexually assaulted and they end up and they end up having um, they end up getting pregnant, and they s and they said, you know, that person should be able to to abort that baby.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I heard a guy talking one time and he says, Doing doing something evil doesn't take care of s something that's already been done that's evil.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: So if something has been done that's evil, the sexual assault having an abortion, which is evil, doesn't validate or make the first thing good.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: You don't you don't recompense evil for evil.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't do things evil for evil.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: You understand, folks?
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: This is not about payback or vengeance.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: What Paul is talking to the saints about is forgiveness.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_00: He wants the saints to forgive one another.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: Colossians chapter 12.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, Colossians chapter 3.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's no 12 chapters in Colossians.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Colossians chapter 3 and verse 12.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: Colossians chapter 3 and verse 12, he says, put on therefore as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercy.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: What are you supposed to put on?
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Bowels of mercy.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to put on kindness, you're supposed to put on the humbleness of mind, you're supposed to put on meekness, you're supposed to put on long suffering.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_00: I remember someone they said, What's long suffering?
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_00: I go, Well, that means you suffer a long time.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Someone does something, you just deal with it.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: It may bug you, it may bother you, but you deal with it in love.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: You just let just deal with it.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's long suffering.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Forbearing one another.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_00: You you just again, you're just dealing with this because you forbear them, why?
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_00: Not be your human nature doesn't want to forbear them, you human nature's wanting to tell them to stop it.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: That bothers me.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: Cut it out.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: But Christ in you is you need to forbear them.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Forbear one another.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the here's the key.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And forgiving one another.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_00: If any man have a quarrel against any, even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know what you should do?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: You should forgive one another.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_00: Forgive them.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: We've talked about this in the past.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: You need to forgive one another.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_00: You need to learn to forgive another member of the body of Christ.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_00: You need to learn to forgive another Christian.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do that, you can start learning to forgive unbelievers who do things against you.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and through that, they start to understand what forgiveness is.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can talk to them about forgiveness, but when you show them forgiveness, that means a lot.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: Back to Romans 12 and verse 18.
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_00: If it be if it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know what that means?
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: When you see someone and they've offended you and you've forgiven them, and now you see them for the first time and they go, Hey, how are you?
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: You go, I'm great, how are you doing?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's it.
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have to have dinner with them.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have now if you are reconciled back to the former state and you become great friends and buddies, that's great.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't mean you're just you're kind to them.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: You're kind.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you don't have to have dinner with them, you don't have to be best friends with them, you don't have to go on trips with them, you don't have to do any of that.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: You just simply be kind to them.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm great, how are you doing?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then that's it.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_00: And you move on.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: You you you show them that there is no more issue.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: I've forgiven you for whatever you did to offend me.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: But it doesn't mean that you have to be put in a position to allow them to do it to you again.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_00: So you just go, I'm doing well, I'm gonna be nice, I'm gonna be kind, and then I'm going to go over here and they can do what they do.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: This doesn't mean now you have to be friends with everybody and you have to have dinner with them.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: No, you don't.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_00: Look at Ephesians 4 verse 31 and 32.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_00: We've read these verses in the past, we'll read them again and then we'll close.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: Ephesians 4, verse 31.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and evil speaking be put away from you with all malice.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 32.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_00: And be ye kind one to another.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: Tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know why you're kind to one another?
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: You know why you forgive one another?
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_00: Because God has already forgiven you for Christ.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because of what Christ did on the cross of Calvary, because of his finished work on the cross of Calvary, you now have eternal life.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And because of God's grace, you can now treat others with grace.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: You can be kind to them, you can be tenderhearted, and you can forgive them.
• 23:45
  SPEAKER_00: But you don't have to have dinner with them.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know for sure if you have eternal life, the Lord Jesus Christ came to this earth.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: God the Son.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_00: He is God the Son.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: He is God manifest in the flesh.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: He lived a sinless life.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then he went to the cross and he died there willingly for your sins and my sins.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: He was buried and rose again the third day.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And if you simply put your faith and trust in that and that alone, if you believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and what he did on the cross of Calvary for you, and you trust in that and only that for your eternal life.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing you can do to have eternal life, then he will give you the free gift of eternal life.
• 24:42
  SPEAKER_00: If you've never made that decision, we pray that you would do that today.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions or comments, you can always email us at GraceExplained at gmail.com.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time.