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The origin story of my deadname · An ASMR Practice

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, um, this is, uh, I just gotta get this
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: off my chest. I just have to get this off
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: my chest. And I've told people, and nobody, nobody resonates with, like, how... Okay,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: I don't want to say nobody. I don't know yet.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: I just have to get something off my chest really quick. Um... So,
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: the new church I went to Um, I... I'm... The
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: first person I talk to, I think, like, privately, I
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: don't want to expose them. If you were there, you'd know. But... Um...
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: They asked me... They asked me a really good question. Like,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: a really, really good question. They... Essentially, they asked me, like,
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: where I got my name. Like, what's the story behind this? And...
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: And so there's two stories. There's my mom's story and
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: there's my dad's story, right? I think it just says
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: a lot about the duality of me where my mom
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: was divorcing my father and she was in the process
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: of it and she said at least what I was
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: told Um, and I believe is that she needed faith.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: She was feeling desolate and she needed faith. And so
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: she gave me faith. Um, So obviously I'm not really
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: feeling super gagra right now, okay? Just faith. And... I
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: think that... Well, okay, so my dad's story is that...
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: This motherfucker. This fucker. My dad's story is that he
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: was watching sports. And my understanding is that Faith Hill
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: used to be the... Faith Hill. Faith Hill. Used to
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: be the... The... Freaking girl who's like... Or woman who's like...
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Singing and dancing for like Super Bowl Sunday or whatever.
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Super Bowl Sunday? That sounds right. Sunday Funday?
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I don't freaking know. He's like, well, I thought she
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: was hot. Weird. Literally freaking weird. But... Straight up, straight up, um, amusing,
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: but kind of freaking weird. And so, you know, I,
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: I think I probably believe my mom's story more. Like,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: I think she probably picked the name Faith and that
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: probably just happened to coincide with like, whatever. Or my
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: dad just freaking lied. Who knows? Who knows? I think
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I'd probably believe my mom's story more than my dad's
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: story in this instance. Um, and so I would say that,
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: and I just remember when I told the guy at
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: the church the story, he was like, he looked at
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: me in a way that was very powerful to me. Um,
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: and realistically, it was probably pity, um, Because I don't
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: think I told him my dad's story. Because what? That
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: would just be freaking weird. That would be freaking weird.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And probably dishonest. And so I told him my mom's story. And...
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I think it was probably... I don't think I'd ever seen.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: That look. I don't think I'd ever seen that. Expression.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Or that. Emotion. From a guy. And. I. I really
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: appreciated it. it felt like, and so the moral of
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: the story is that, um, I think I've always believed
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: in a higher power, I don't think, and this is
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: the bone I have to pick is, I keep trying
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: to not, frankly. Like, I keep trying to... I don't
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: know how to say this. Yeah, I keep trying to
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: not believe in higher power. And... I find... This is
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: all just like... Way too... Synchronous... Or synced... Or... This
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: is all just... Way too... Connected... And meaningful... And... I
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: think I'm probably... Very. Fortunate. For that. I hope I'm
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: not alone in that. I don't know. I think that's
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: the scariest part of it. Is that. I don't know.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: If I'm alone in it. I mean. Just in the
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: idea of like. having this much faith. Um... Yeah, so
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I think that's... That's basically all. Some people will... look at...
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: you know, the things... the current, the current, the late,
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the current as of late, and they will say whatever
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: they're gonna say, and Let the haters hate. I guess.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I would like to
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: pass the ball. I would really, really like to pass
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: the ball. Does anybody know how to catch? Anybody want
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: to play catch with me? I'll play catch with you.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: Bye bye.