Latest / The Uncommons / Building a Family Through Hard Seasons | Ep1
Transcript
- speaker-0: Jews in a Muslim country. speaker-1: go to Afghanistan through warzone. speaker-0: I don't think I've been loyal to a woman more than six months in my life. speaker-1: took us a little bit to find the balance between the roles that we have in our family. speaker-0: And I was in the middle of a huge litigation on a business deal. speaker-1: There was a time that we were losing a lot of money. speaker-0: I would be a couple like who is this next to me? speaker-1: It was one of those situations that everybody thought it would break us. We've had to grow a lot faster and adapt a lot quicker. Hi everyone. Welcome to the Uncomments Podcast where we challenge the ordinary and explore what it really takes to build a fulfilling life. I'm Parisa. speaker-0: I'm Peshman, but I go by page. speaker-1: We have started this podcast because we realized that there's a lot of challenges that we go through on a daily basis when it comes to family, kids, business, relationship, marriage, friendships, and beyond so many things that we navigate on a day-by-day basis in our life. And nobody talks about how we navigate through it. speaker-0: Sometimes it's rough, most of the time it's great and it's always beautiful even though it's rough at times. But you're right, it's been ⁓ no great guidelines that they follow. The guidelines that was left to me at least from my parents were not ideal. And I never went to school to have an ideal relationship. We both have worked on our relationships just on a personal level, business-wise and otherwise. ⁓ And ⁓ throughout these years, ⁓ I think we accumulated a good amount of information that maybe what we're doing is right. speaker-1: Well, it's been eight years that we've been married. Yes. Almost nine years together, three kids, multiple businesses, we travel a lot. And I would say we do thankfully live a full life. And alongside of that, it comes a lot of running around, a lot of chaos, a lot of challenges that we manage. I have a new puppy that is driving me crazy. speaker-0: and we have a new dog. speaker-1: We could have had another kit instead of the puppy. speaker-0: That's just super cute. Again, at the end of the day, it's just all of these ups and downs are a very normal, joyous part of life. And ⁓ after spending a lot of time thinking about that, I've learned to realize that even though we might be going through some rough times, happy times, ⁓ it's all part of life and it's all beautiful. speaker-1: And nothing's supposed to Yeah. It keeps going in a cycle. And there's a lot that we've learned through this journey. There's a lot of stories. There's a lot of mess ups. It gets fun. It gets messy. It gets complicated. It gets easy. It flows sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. And ⁓ we've learned a lot how to go with the flow of life. Right. So. speaker-0: Forever. speaker-1: There's a lot of stories that we'll be sharing from our personal journeys. Hopefully down the line, we will be talking to a lot of guests that would bring their insight into the show. And that's the goal. That's the promise of the show is that we are ⁓ going to be vulnerable. We're going to be show all the good and the pretty and the ugly and the messy stuff. There will be times that ⁓ we're doing great and our Personal journey, when we show up in front of camera, in front of microphone, there will be times that we show up and we're not doing so amazing and we're going through the rough times and we're here to share all of it and hopefully be able to connect with you all through our journey, through our personal journey. Cause there was a time that at least I thought it's all me and it's me that's going through all this stuff. And it took a while to realize that. there's a lot more that we all share than we realize. speaker-0: We go through ups and downs. I've gone through some really major big issues that it was rough. And I just thought, ⁓ it's me. And ⁓ nobody else goes through this stuff, which is absolutely wrong. And I think everybody has their own journey and everybody has a tunnel that they go in and out of and so forth. And we thought at least sharing how we got it. out of our tunnels and then we realized how we got into it and interacting with some of our other friends that they have a really hard time talking about this stuff. One promise I can make is that it will be raw. have, by nature personally, I don't sugarcoat stuff. I just don't know how and it's very, very direct into the plane. And some people might take it the wrong way, but it's at least as real as it gets. And I promise that to you. on to you. speaker-1: I know that. I deal with it. So let's get a little more personal. Tell us a little bit about you. speaker-0: I just turned 59. I grew up in Iran. My family is Jewish. We were there in a revolution. We got to escape. I was in a revolution for about six months. I saw some very horrific things and then we got out and I've been in the US since. And I went to school and I became speaker-1: When you were young, right? You were in middle school when you got out? speaker-0: Yeah, I was 12 years old. I was 12 years old in 1979. It was very interesting to make that journey, you know, come from a country that even though we were native there, was my hometown, we were Jews in a Muslim country and it was difficult in some ways. And then you moved to another country and then you were again an outcast because at the time it was the hostages. And the U S people can tell the difference between, you know, who you are, who they are, whatever it is. And, ⁓ it was, it was interesting, rough times. We grew and I went to school and I became a physician and, ⁓ I've done the healthcare software was a family practice, emergency medicine, ⁓ speaker-1: And if you know anything about the personality of doctors, each specialty have their own personality. And the craziest ones are the ER doctors. speaker-0: Coolest one that I have. No, I grew up in a family. My dad's a doctor, my brother's a doctor, my uncles are all doctors. I mean, I grew up, but I was always into business and I was interested in business and done a lot of business of healthcare and some other stuff. And yeah, and I didn't get married till I was 50. I came from a family that divorce was not happening. And I saw a lot of hardship and fighting and I equated marriage to not such a fun life. So I stayed single as long as I could. And the sequence of events that happened and I never imagined being married and happy because I just never saw it. ⁓ Eight years into the marriage and just ecstatic about A redefining what that means to me, redefining relationships and what really is a relationship. It's not always what you imagine and understanding that and growing ⁓ internally. So it's been a, it's been a great journey. speaker-1: And on my side, have been, I'm not going to tell you my age because it's not right, but at some point, I'm sure everybody can guess it because we're going to talk about our age difference. I'm older than 18, even though I ID'd when I go to movies without makeup, but... Hey, you can't... speaker-0: 36. I still think I'm be a rock. speaker-1: Um, I grew up in Iran too. And I went to college there. I was a little older. I was about 21 when I left Iran. It was a little bit of a story for another time, but, um, I had to go to Afghanistan through war zone to get my visa. And I came to the U S for, go to school from, to get my master's degree. I'm an engineer by trade, but I have changed a lot of different. ⁓ identities and put on different hats. And I went from being an engineer to somebody who wanted to be an entrepreneur and start a business and failed. And then I had kids and then I was helping Paige with his business and a lot of different adventures. So there was a time that when somebody would ask me, so what do you do? I would pause. And then say, well, I used to be an engineer and I worked in aerospace industry for a while. And then now I do this. So it was a lot of shifts that has happened in my life. ⁓ A lot of shifts from being a mom of one to two, to being a mom to my bonus son, many, many different transitions. And now I homeschool the kids, which has been huge. new path by itself in the last couple of years. So there's a lot to talk about there. But so far, I feel like if somebody asked me, what do you do? I say, I don't work. And there's always a pause and they're like, well, what do mean you don't work? And I say, well, I don't work. And I wait for the reactions because it's always priceless. And then they say, a lot of people say, so you're on disability lead. ⁓ No, I just don't work. It's a little bit of back and forth every time I say it, but I spend a lot of time with the kids. It took us a little bit to find the balance between, for me at least, to find a balance between the roles that we have in our family, who find a balance between my work versus not working versus I had some health issues that came up. So had to completely stop working and reduce the stress and which we were still going through it. But it... It's been a beautiful journey of figuring out who I am and ⁓ what my identity is. Each time there is a shift in our life, I feel like I have to adjust and I have to be more like a water to adapt. speaker-0: And I think all of our identities change. we identify with a certain thing. And when we have some sort of a, at least in our relationship, when we have any event that happens or we do a lot of seminars, training, and we talk, we go through one of these seminars, it kind of starts shifting your identity. And we've been together for ⁓ eight years. I'm sorry, we've been together for nine years. And, married for eight, ⁓ last December was eight years, which I never imagined ⁓ possible. ⁓ I don't think, ⁓ I've been loyal to a woman more than six months in my life. ⁓ and, ⁓ it's, it's, it's unbelievable to have this, ⁓ feeling that I never thought it's. possible and ⁓ nine years together, we had a lot of challenges and it feels like they've been together for decades and decades and decades. And ⁓ I think part of the reason that we wanted to start this podcast is how we were able to go through these really large, heavy, cumbersome things that we had to overcome in such a short time that it feels like it's been forever. speaker-1: I think a part of it is that we're both kind of intense. I mean, you're very intense. I am not. I'm really calm and sweet and none of that, but you're super intense. So that's why like even a week feels like a year. know, it's just so much happens in our life in a short amount of time that we can compress whatever other people, normal people do in a whole year within a month of our life. So I think that's why a lot more has happened in eight years, nine years that normally would have happened in maybe 20 years. But that means we've had to grow a lot faster and adapt a lot quicker. But from the time we met, it's been all fun, journey. So we met, was it like a week later? We started talking. And a week later you found out that your ex was pregnant. Yeah. So we went through some challenges there. We ended up staying together, ended up getting married. So we've been having a little child without being prepared for, from the beginning of our relationship, without going through the feelings and the hormones and everything that comes with becoming parents. And that by itself was a little bit of it. hiccup that prepared us for a lot more after that. ⁓ Then your mom passed. speaker-0: It was speaker-1: which was probably one of the roughest events that we had. speaker-0: It was very rough, yeah. But it all happened in such a short time that I think is noteworthy. speaker-1: Yeah, probably within like less than a year of being married, like eight months. speaker-0: Less than four months, we got married on December 23rd. Two weeks later, my son was born with another woman. Exactly four months later, my mom passed away, which was a big event for me and for Parisa. It was a very rough, short period of time. speaker-1: and on top of it the lot business lawsuits. speaker-0: And I was in the middle of a huge, huge litigation on a business deal that we were doing that was extremely ⁓ expensive, painful, stressful, ⁓ and time consuming. was working 20 hours a day, day in and day out to get this, you know, was a new industry and litigation. So it was an extremely, extremely rough situation. And we... Survive that. speaker-1: We didn't just survive it. It's really brought us so much closer. It was one of those situations that everybody thought it would break us. And it didn't, not only didn't, it really proved that after that, anything that life throws at us, we can deal with it. We can handle it. And it brought us so much closer to each other. Um, even though at the moment it was rough at the moment, was a lot of. emotions, was a lot of unexpressed emotions and a lot that we went through. And that was just the first like eight months of six months of our relationship or my emergency. And on top of that, we've had both had healthy shoes. There was a time that you woke up and you couldn't walk with your back. ⁓ I'm still going through some healthy shoes. We've had two other kids on top of that. And now this puppy. driving me two months old puppy to the reading and cries all night. And. All night. It's getting better. then. speaker-0: She does not cry. ... throughout the night. This is a beautiful little dog. speaker-1: Yeah, somebody's in love if you can't tell. We almost got to verge of bankruptcy, if you were to call it that. There was a time that we were losing a lot of money per month. There was a time that you would wake up at 3 a.m. with cold sweat and couldn't sleep because of all the stress. There's been financial issues. We've managed to raise a beautiful boy with his mom. As Quill Aarons. speaker-0: So, you know, what was really challenging is getting married at 50 and being single for 50 years and waking up every night. This is my lifestyle. I would wake up and like, who is this next to me? They usually leave by midnight or 2 a.m. speaker-1: Anyway, it's going to be fun. It's going to be raw. It's going to be a lot of managing this man and everything that comes out of his mouth. Cause sometimes it's not planned. A lot of times it's not planned for, I don't even have papers here that I follow. I don't even give him that cause he's completely non-compliant. So there's no point of giving bullet points by raw, very raw. speaker-0: hoping that this podcast would ⁓ not only elevate others and we really, at least I'm sure the same way too is when I give back as much as we can to this beautiful world as you know, just, I find this world so beautiful, even in it's difficult, difficult things ⁓ that happen, ⁓ but giving back, but also I'm sure and I'm hoping that this would also elevate our relationship with each other as we talk about what we've been through. And, and I hope that the speakers and the people that we bring on and interacting with the people that are part of our podcast would make this a warm and gentle and raw at the same time, but growing experience for everyone around us and ⁓ the whole world, if we could. speaker-1: We appreciate you for being a part of this. We're happy that you're here, that you're listening, that you've scrolled all the way to the down to start from the episode one. And it's a blessing to be able to share our experiences with you and connect on different platforms, different levels. The bottom line of this show is that we have a lot of differences. We have, differences in where we grew up, the culture we grew up, the port of geographic point that we grew up, religions, I just, Jewish, I'm Muslim. He's 56, 59. He's 59, I'm 36. He is very intense and very aggressive. I'm soft and sweet. speaker-0: 59. ⁓ correct. speaker-1: He is very impatient. I'm so patient. So there's a lot of differences that we have, but we always, through all the challenges, we always find a way and we don't agree on a lot of stuff, but we always find a path forward. And we are very excited to share all this with you. And we're so happy that you're here and listening to us and watching. speaker-0: Thank you for the opportunity.